SECONDHAND EMOTION

Whats love gotta do with it?

Roelien de la Reij
Smashword Edition
copyright 2013 Roelien de la Reij
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SECONDHAND EMOTION
WHATS LOVE GOTTA DO WITH IT?
%&pen yo$r mo$th'( )andy ordered when she fed *ndrew a piece of chocolate ca+e"
%Eno$gh, eno$gh'( he la$ghed and p$shed her hand away" %-.m st$ffed'(
%/eah, me too"( 0he resta$rant *ndrew had ta+en her to after the e1position had
2een an incessant delight, co$rse after co$rse of fine, e13$isite servings"
%Did yo$ li+e the paintings4(
%- li+e yo$ more"( )andy popped o$t her p$mp and sh$ffled her foot $p his leg,
slowly teasing him"
%5m, where do yo$ live4( *ndrew as+ed"
%6hy do yo$ want to +now4( She 2ent over the ta2le and loo+ed him in the eye"
She felt the answer to her 3$estion moving $nder the sole of her foot"
*ndrew too+ her foot in 2oth his hands and r$22ed it" %- tho$ght may2e we co$ld
have dessert at a more private place"(
* hot shiver ran $p her spine while her eyes held *ndrew.s" $irst times are the
best, she tho$ght, and Whats love gotta do with it?
%/o$ drive4( 5er voice so$nded low and sed$ctive"
%-.ll drive yo$ cra7y,( he whispered as he too+ her hand and p$lled her to the
e1it"
*
0hey didn.t waste time after they entered )andy.s apartment" )andy too+ his coat and
08shirt at the same time, covering his chest with tiny +isses" *ndrew groaned and
closed his eyes"
%9ome'( )andy said and p$lled him into the 2edroom, throwing her clothes on
the floor" %/o$ ma+e me so hot"( She +issed his face till she fo$nd his mo$th and
s$c+ed his lips and +issed him" :or a while *ndrew laid with )andy on top of him, then
his m$scles tensed" 5e gra22ed her 2y the waist and t$rned her aro$nd so she was
$nder him" -t was his t$rn to 2e in charge now"
)$ch sleep they didn.t get" )ay2e a few ho$rs where they do7ed away,
2etween em2races" ;$t it was )onday, so time to wor+"
%- m$st go,( *ndrew whispered in her ear at si1 o.cloc+" %-t was great to 2e yo$r
o2ject of l$st"( 5e 2it her nec+ softly and caressed her 2ac+ 2efore he j$mped o$t of
2ed, searching for his clothes that were all over the place"
)andy r$22ed the sleep o$t of her eyes and sat $p when she heard the front
door close" -n 2ed she fo$nd a 2$tton of his shirt" She smiled to herself and p$t it on
the ta2le" %ind you, some women would have sewed it on, probably& <nder the shower
she managed to wa+e $p completely, while she let the water r$n over her 2ody" Wow&
What a man and what a night&
*
%*aaaaaaaargh'( De2i screamed when she entered the office and saw )andy"
)andy j$mped $p" %6hat is it4(
%Loo+ at yo$, girl'( De2i sat ne1t to her and lifted her hair" %/o$r whole nec+ is
covered with love 2ites" 6hat have yo$ 2een $p to4(
)andy felt the 2lood r$shing to her face" She gra22ed her p$rse and too+ the
mirror o$t" %5ave yo$ got some powder4(
%&nly when yo$ tell me everything, dear'(
%* g$y - met at the art e1hi2ition yesterday" /o$ don.t +now him"(
%5e m$st have 2een good, according to that loo+ on yo$r face"(
%<m, yes"( )andy glared at a point on the wall"
%So where does he live4 6hat does he do4(
%6ell, $m=( )andy 2lin+ed a co$ple of times and twisted a loc+ of her hair"
%&h no' Don.t tell me that yo$ don.t +now'( De2i stared at her with open mo$th"
%- don.t 2elieve this'(
)andy 2l$shed and loo+ed down" %-t was nothing serio$s" >$st a cr$sh"(
%* one night stand, yo$ mean4( De2i leaned over to her %0hat.s so cool' - wish -
had the nerves to do that"(
%/o$ don.t need nerves to do that De2, a co$ple of drin+s will do"(
%/o$ have to show me one time, )andy" /o$ have s$ch an e1citing life
compared to me'(
)andy powdered her nec+ and st$died the res$lts" %-.ll ta+e yo$ if yo$ can
handle it, darling"( She shoved the powder 2ac+ to De2i over the des+ and t$rned her
comp$ter on to chec+ her mail" 0ime for 2$siness again"
*
-t was still a 2ig mess at home" 9lothes were lying on the floor and the dishes hadn.t
2een done for days" She was $sed to that tho$gh? why 2other4 She didn.t e1pect any
visitors today" It was good that 'ndrew hadnt staid for breakfast this morning, she
tho$ght when she opened the fridge a piece of cheese and half a pac+et of 2$tter,
together with some salad she 2o$ght over a wee+ ago" -t wo$ld 2e 2etter to throw that
o$t, 2$t she.d do that tomorrow" :or now she.d order a pi77a"
'ndrew had been nice, absolutely& she tho$ght while eating it" 6hat wo$ld he
thin+ of her4 6o$ld he thin+ she was a sl$t4 )ay2e he wo$ld call her, or send her a
card, or come to visit her @ he +new her address, after all" 0hen she co$ld e1plain to
him that she wasn.t" *nyway, that she didn.t want to 2e one" -t was j$st so damn lonely
sometimes'
She po$red herself a glass of wine and sat in front of the 0A" 0he tal+ show host
loo+ed a 2it li+e *ndrew with those c$rly loc+s" So nice to r$n her hand thro$gh them,
she smiled" She to$ched her nec+ where he.d +issed her and her eyes wandered away
from the screen" She pict$red the two of them together again, +issing and holding each
other tight" 5er head on his sho$lder afterwards, and her leg over his" She co$ld still
feel her fingertips r$nning thro$gh the hairs on his chest"
0he phone' She st$m2led towards the ringing and gra22ed the horn of the hoo+"
%/es4 6ith )andy Sea2roo+"(
%/es, )rs" Sea2roo+" -t.s my pleas$re to offer yo$ 88(
%N&'( )andy 2anged the horn down" Breat'
*
0he wee+ went 2y and she heard nothing of *ndrew" 6hy sho$ld she4 0hose were the
r$les of one8night stands no commitments' ;$t she definitely wished she had 2een
more inviting" She co$ld have as+ed him where he lived, or if he wo$ld call her"
(ut no& she told herself" She didn.t want to thin+ of him any longer" -f he wo$ld
still 2e interested in her, he +new where to find her" So he o2vio$sly wasn.t" She j$st
had to find something to distract her mind" 'nother guy, maybe"
*
%6hat a2o$t ne1t wee+end4( she as+ed De2i at the office"
%0o go o$t, yo$ mean4(
%/es, - +now a nice ja77 cl$2 with live m$sic" * good place for meeting people"(
%/eah, great'( De2i cheered and hopped to the coffee machine"
)andy la$ghed" 0hat co$ld 2e f$n? De2i was a good sport'
*
0hat Sat$rday night they came together and headed for 0he &le 0own >oint" -t was dar+
and smo+y, and the girls sh$ffled 2etween the ta2les to loo+ for a seat with a good view
of the stage" 0echnicians ran aro$nd and f$m2led with microphones and ca2les" *n old
hairy g$y sat in a corner, 2lowing so$ndlessly on a sa1ophone" &ther m$sicians
crossed the stage and chec+ed the a$dience"
De2i loo+ed on her watch" %6hat time are they going to start4(
%Rela1 De2, it.s a cl$2, not a concert hall" Event$ally they.ll play, - s$ppose"( She
p$shed her chair 2ac+ and got $p" %-.m gonna get $s a drin+" /o$ want wine4(
)andy scanned the place when she wal+ed to the co$nter" -magine if *ndrew
wo$ld 2e here too" That stupid guy& )ffff& She really didn.t need him? she co$ld pic+ $p
a h$ndred g$ys if she wanted to'
%5iya )andy'( 0he 2arman greeted her and pic+ed the 2ottle 2efore she co$ld
mention it" %5ow many glasses4(
%5i 0om" &ne 2ottle and two glasses, please" 5ey, 2y the way ="(
%/es4(
%Do yo$ +now a g$y called *ndrew4( She 2l$shed when she $ttered his name"
0om o2served her from 2elow his eyelids" %5ey, did yo$ lose yo$r 2oyfriend4
:inally ready to commit4(
%&h c.mon 0om, - don.t need that' -.m j$st as+ing yo$ something'(
0om p$t the glasses and the 2ottle down and leant on his el2ows over to )andy"
%&+ay, o+ay' - +now an *ndrew, he.s 2ig and 2lac+" - +now another *ndrew who.s tall
and s+inny== &ne of them4(
)andy fi1ed her eyes $pon him $ntil she reali7ed that was all he had" She
gra22ed the glasses and the 2ottle" %Nah, never mind"( She felt an itch in her chest as
if something was missing there, while wal+ing 2ac+ to their ta2le"
* r$m2ling of instr$ments filled the space now, 2lending in with m$rm$ring
voices" 0he m$sicians t$ned their instr$ments" De2i waved at her when she saw her
coming" * g$y sat at her place, 2$t he j$mped $p immediately when )andy came"
%5i, -.m ;ill,( he introd$ced himself %-.m j$st chatting to yo$r friend" Clease sit
down"(
%No, no,( )andy $rged %Clease stay, there.s another seat over there"( She
gra22ed the chair and sat down at the ta2le with ;ill and De2i"
%&h, do yo$ mind then 8 ( ;ill signaled a g$y in the crowd to come over" %0his is
my friend )a$rice"(
%5i )a$rice, ta+e a seat,( )andy said %;$t - have j$st two glasses for the wine"(
%Let me handle that'( )a$rice speeded to the 2ar and ret$rned with two more
glasses and two more 2ottles of wine"
De2i watched with 2ig eyes what was going on" <nder the ta2le she +ic+ed
)andy.s foot @ or was it the foot of one of the g$ys4 ;ill grinned at her and lifted his
glass"
0he sa1ophones shrie+ed o$t to get the p$2lic.s attention, and the dr$mmer.s
sweat was already po$ring down his face on his instr$ments while he 2anged them
with his dr$mstic+s" 0he a$dience was stamping and h$mming and tapping the ta2les"
)a$rice circled his wineglass on the ta2le and o2served )andy from the corners
of his eyes" 5e s$re was a nice eno$gh g$y" )andy smiled at him, politely" Now they
didn.t tal+ anymore @ the m$sic was to lo$d @ she dropped 2ac+ in her memories as in
a 2ottomless pit" 6hat was the matter with her4 She co$ld j$st thin+ of *ndrew and
how he hadn.t called her"
%-.m sorry, - don.t feel very well,( she said and too+ her p$rse" %Clease e1c$se
me"( She stood $p and p$shed herself thro$gh the crowd" *ebi will be okay, she
tho$ght, Ill take the bus home"
*
5er ho$se was cold and lonely, 2$t it somehow s$ited her more than the lively 2ar, it
seemed" )ore than all those people having f$n" She sat down witho$t t$rning the lights
on, p$t her el2ows on her +nees and her hands 2efore her eyes" 5er sho$lders started
to sha+e and tears dripped down 2etween her fingers"
*
%6here did yo$ go4( De2i screamed at her ne1t )onday" %/o$ missed all the f$n'( De2i
paced thro$gh the office, gest$ring and ranting a2o$t ;ill" ;ill had 2een great and ;ill
had 2een fantastic and )a$rice pic+ed $p another girl and all of them had 2een dr$n+
as hell"
)andy r$22ed her forehead and sighed, 2$t De2i went on" %*nd yo$ +now
what4 - too+ him home" /o$ were so right, girl'( De2i loo+ed at her in tri$mph" %<se
them, li+e they $se $s"( :inally she sat down" She clenched her fist and 2anged on her
des+" %No g$y is gonna give me a 2ro+en heart again'(
)andy avoided her glance and st$died her 0o8Do list" +o *ebi, you dont need
a guy anymore to break your heart, she tho$ght, you can do that all by yourself , ust
like me-
*
0he following days were gray and cold" She felt empty when she wo+e $p and stared at
the ceiling $ntil she fo$nd the power to drag herself o$t of 2ed" &ne time she too+
*ndrew.s 2$tton in the palm of her hand and caressed it with her finger" 9o$ld it 2e that
she was in love4 0hen love surely must be suffering, she tho$ght"
5er reflection in the mirror was d$ll and lifeless" - can.t go on li+e this" -.ll go
2ac+ to the gallery, she decided, may2e==
*
0he gallery was dar+ and co7y @ it was on the gro$nd floor of one of those narrow
ho$ses downtown, 2$ilt in times when people were smaller and s+innier" 0he owner
loo+ed $p and nodded when )andy came in"
%5ello, please e1c$se me for a moment" -.m wor+ing on my administration"( She
sighed 2ehind the comp$ter"
)andy smiled and wal+ed to the corner where the watercolors were hanging"
:rom the corners of her eyes she o2served the other visitors? an elderly co$ple and
some yo$ng people, artists or st$dents may2e" *fter half an ho$r she wanted to leave,
2$t the owner stopped her"
%9an - please p$t yo$ on my mailing list4( she as+ed %- intended to as+ yo$ the
other day, when yo$ were here with this lawyer, 2$t it was too 2$sy then"(
%Do yo$ mean that yo$ have the addresses of all visitors4( )andy.s 2reath
halted for a moment"
%6ell, only if they want to give it, of co$rse" ;$t 8( she hastily added %- wo$ld
never give yo$r address o$t to someone else" &$r privacy policies are very strict'(
%&h well="( )andy sighed %- s$ppose 8(
%- can send yo$ an invitation for an opening ne1t wee+,( the woman said %when -
type yo$r name and address in the data2ase right now"(
%0hat so$nds nice"( )andy stretched her nec+ to get a glance of the screen, 2$t
she saw nothing that co$ld have 2een of $se to her"
%-t.s always nice" 6e have drin+s, and yo$ can tal+ to the artist"( 6hen she was
ready with the typing she gave )andy the 2$siness card of the gallery"
%See yo$ ne1t S$nday, then'(
%/es, than+ yo$"( )andy straightened her 2ac+ when she left" )ay2e S$nday
she wo$ld have more l$c+=
*
-t wasn.t easy tho$gh ne1t S$nday? she felt e1ha$sted and feared another
disappointment" She spent ho$rs in front of the mirror to cover $p her misery and finally
forced herself to go"
'nd yes, he was there& She was sha+ing all over her 2ody when she stood ne1t
to him in front of a painting" Softly she addressed him" 5e eyed her coolly"
%So, on the h$nt again4(
*n icy chill ran down her spine" She ga7ed at him with open mo$th" %*ndrew'(
%6ow, yo$ still +now my name' -.m impressed'(
%*ndrew please, let me e1plain'(
%6hat.s there to e1plain4 ;oy meets girl, they.re hot, they f$c+ ne1t one'
Cerfectly normal, isn.t it4(
)andy gasped for 2reath? it was as if he.d hit her in the stomach and 2elow"
0ears sprang into her eyes" %/o$.re not fair, *ndrew"(
%&h no4 6ell, -.ll go then" - don.t want to 2e in yo$r way" 5ey, and yo$ +now
what4( 5e loo+ed down at her, spitting the words in her face %B$ys have feelings too'(
5e paced o$t of the gallery, o$t on the streets" 5e didn.t even loo+ 2ac+ once"
*
)andy called in sic+ the ne1t day" She co$ldn.t 2ear to see De2i and p$t $p with her
nosy 3$estions" -t was as if all energy was drained from her 2ody" She dragged herself
thro$gh the day, watching some 0A, drin+ing some tea and crying" Its all my own fault,
she told herself, Ive always been a slut, no wonder that he doesnt respect me&
0$esday an envelope fell on the doormat" She didn.t recogni7e the handwriting"
0he hallway s$ddenly 2ecame lighter with hope" 6o$ld it 84 6ith trem2ling hands she
opened it and she 2arely managed to +eep it still while reading it"
Dear Mandy,
Im so sorry about the other day. Please accept my apologies for
my rude behavior. I was in the gallery because I hoped to walk
into you again some day. But when you did I was upset. I suppose
thats not cool. ets talk. !all me or write me or mail me.
"egards, #ndrew
She dropped herself on the co$ch and let the tears r$n down her face" She
loo+ed again at the letter and reread it" /es, there it said I was in the gallery because I
hoped to walk into you again some day" So he had missed her too" ;$t then why 84
/es, they had to tal+? she wanted to tal+ desperately"
6hen she loo+ed into the mirror she saw stains of her tears, 2$t also a trace of
a smile, and a light in her eyes" She ran hot water in the 2atht$2 and soa+ed in it,
meditating on the mail she.d write him"
*
%-t was when - saw yo$ cry that - reali7ed that yo$ cared a2o$t me( *ndrew p$t his hand
on )andy.s arm %2$t - co$ldn.t stop myself anymore"( 0hey stood on the street, in front
of the coffee shop where they had met again"
%-t.s o+ay, - $nderstand" /o$ felt $sed"(
%6ell, yes" /o$ came on so strong" *nd afterwards yo$ didn.t even as+ my
phone n$m2er, or where - lived"(
%-.m so sorry" - s$ppose - =(
%6hat4(
)andy sighed" %- s$ppose -.m j$st not $sed to nice g$ys"(
%Do yo$ want to get $sed to a nice g$y4( *ndrew too+ her hand and loo+ed her
in the eye" )andy 2l$shed slightly"
%5ow4(
%/o$ co$ld invite me for dinner at yo$r place"(
%0hat.s fine" - won.t to$ch yo$'( she promised"
%5ey, what.s that4 Don.t yo$ li+e me anymore4(
%No, - li+e yo$ a lot" ;$t=(
%/es4(
)andy wr$ng her hands and loo+ed down" 0hen she too+ a deep 2reath and
loo+ed $p at him" %- don.t want yo$ to thin+ -.m a sl$t"(
%Clease )andy'( *ndrew lifted her chin and traced her lips with his finger" 6ith
his other hand he too+ her 2y the waist and p$lled her closer" %Don.t 2lame it all on
yo$rself? - was there too' 0his time we won.t spoil it"(
5e 2ent over and placed his lips on hers" )andy leant 2ac+ in his tight em2race
as they e1changed a long, deep +iss" %- don.t want yo$ not to to$ch me,( he whispered
in her ear"
%Let.s go home,( )andy said, with a feverish glance in her eyes" %0he coffee.s
m$ch 2etter over there"(
%- 2et it is,( *ndrew answered and 2it her nec+ softly %Let.s go'(
###
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