RW5 Fall 2-2013

Date: November 20th 2013

Unit 1: Mickeys Team

Work Type: Essay Mechanics 1

Writing Workshop 1
Students Name: __________________

Rubric
Introduction
Title

/2

Hook

/2

General Statements

/2

Thesis Statement

/2

Conclusion

/5

Topic Sentences
Order

/3

Topic sent. 1

/2

Topic sent. 2

/2

Thesis Statements
ThS 1

/2.5

Th.S 2

/2.5
Final Total

Final Total:

/25

__/25

Before you start, please check the rubric and understand clearly what you are
doing and where marks are allotted. Also, note well, that there is a mark for your
overall use of grammar, punctuation, spelling, sentence structure, etc.

A. INTRODUCTION
The following essay needs an introduction paragraph, with a title, hook, topic
sentence, general sentences and thesis statement. The essay is approx. 460 words,
and your paragraph should be minimum 40 words.
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First of all, many of the technologies we take for granted today were originated
thanks to space research. Take satellite technology, for example, which we depend on
for broadcasting and weather forecasting. Without satellites, we would not be able to
follow global events as they happen, nor give populations any warning of approaching
storms. Space research has also led to the development of new lightweight materials
that offer us heat protection and enable food preservation. Therefore, the challenge of
sending human beings into space has often driven the development of new technologies
that benefit our everyday lives.
Second, we cannot foresee the distant future, so we ought to develop the capability to
escape from the earth. Gradually, we are learning how humans can survive for long
periods in space and even travel to other planets in the future. If space exploration is
halted, this valuable knowledge will never be acquired. It is true that environmental
destruction is also a serious issue, but it is also true that we remain dependent on our
environment if we never accept the challenge of exploring other worlds.
In conclusion, while we undoubtedly face serious problems on our own planet, it is
imperative that we continue to explore space. This will promote further technological
advances as well as provide a possible means of escape should earth become
uninhabitable in future. Ideally, all nations should cooperate in the advancement of
space research.

B. CONCLUSION
The essay below has lost its conclusion. Add a final paragraph that wraps it up.
Your paragraph should be at least 70 words.
Why Public Exams are Good
by an Anonymous Teacher
Many students hate public exams in their Level 3 courses and wonder
why they have to write them. Although some students experience test anxiety
and find it hard to prepare, I believe public exams are a good thing. They force
students to take the courses seriously, they force teachers to teach to a standard,
and they create a level playing field for all students. For these reasons, I think
Newfoundland students should continue to write Level 3 public exams.
As a student, I was nervous about my public exams (Grade 11 in those
days!) just as students today are. But I studied much harder for those courses
and probably learned the material better. As a teacher I notice students are far
less likely to skip classes if they are taking a public exam course. Knowing that
they have to write a major final exam forces students to take the course more
seriously.
During my teaching years, I often wondered whether I was doing as good
a job as other teachers in the province. I hoped that my students were learning
the same material others were learning. When they did well on public exams, I
knew that what I was teaching was meeting the provincial standard. Public
exams helped me as a teacher because they showed me that my students were
achieving at the same level as students all over the province.
Public exams create a level playing field. What if a teacher dislikes a
particular student or doesn't grade them fairly? In their Level 3 course, 50% of
the grade comes from the public exam, so even if there's a personality conflict
between the teacher and the student, the student gets half their grade from an
unbiased source. This means everyone gets the same treatment.
Your concluding paragraph:
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C. TOPIC SENTENCES
1.The following group of sentences can be rearranged to form a paragraph. Make
a note of the order in which they should be placed and circle the number that
corresponds to what you think is the topic sentence.
1.Of course, since most students arent likely to wear their uniforms after school,
parents also have to purchase everyday clothes like jeans, shirts, and skirts, adding
significantly to the amount they must spend on clothes.
2.A policy that requires public school students to wear uniforms would be a bad idea
for several reasons.
3. In addition, uniforms are expensive.
4. However, making all students dress the same says that individuality is less important
than conformity
5.Students would need to have at least two complete sets of uniforms to allow for
laundering, which could be very costly for parents.
6.To conclude, the world already has too many followers, so public schools should
allow students the freedom to express their unique personalities through their clothing.
7.Furthermore, during the school year students may outgrow their uniforms or other
clothing, increasing the cost for some families.
8. Finally, a uniform policy ignores families rights and freedom to make clothing
decisions that are best for them.
9. Certainly schools should be able to restrict clothing that features obscene or
objectionable slogans or that exposes too much skin .
10.First of all, no style of clothing looks good on everyone.

11.In their pre-teen and teen years, students are especially sensitive about their
appearance, and having to wear clothing that doesnt fit them well will do little to help
their fragile self-esteems.
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2. Now write two topic sentences for ONE of the following topics; circle the letter
of your topic choice. You must choose two different controlling ideas for the same
topic.
a. The life of the typical college student is characterized by time spent studying,
attending class, and socializing with peers.
b. High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community
service projects before entering college in order to increase their maturity and global
awareness.
1)

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2)

D. THESIS STATEMENTS
Pick the answer that would qualify as a thesis statement. Only pick one per question.
Pick the BEST answer.
1.
A. How does a dog communicate?
B. Does a dog communicate?
C. A Dog communicates through his voice and tail.
D. I love dogs.
2.
A. Lawyers work harder than judges.
B. Do we need lawyers in order to get justice?
C. Lawyers go to college for eight years.
D. Are lawyers worth the money we pay for them?
3.
A. Credit Cards are stupid.
B. Without credit cards, no one would be able to afford the luxuries they have.
C. How people get credit cards.
D. The best ways to keep your credit rating high.
4.

A. The American Army rocks!

B. My father died in The Gulf War.
C. There are other peaceful alternatives to war.
D. Should eighteen year olds be forced to register for the draft?
5.
A. Teachers should be better prepared to deal with all problems that might arise.
B. Should teachers be forcibly retired at 50?
C. Teachers work hard.
D. What is a teacher?

2. Write a thesis statement for each of the following topics:

Answer Key
A. INTRODUCTION
Suggested answer:
Title: The expenses of Space Exploration
There is an argument that exploring space is a waste of money and that there are more
urgent needs to be addressed on earth, such as reducing poverty and preventing
environmental destruction. However, I completely disagree with this opinion for two
reasons.
B. CONCLUSION
Suggested answer:

While students will probably always feel exams are unfair and too hard, as a teacher I
have to say I'm totally infavour of them. I like the fact that they make students study
harder, teachers teach better, and give everyone a chance to be judged in a fair and
unbiased way. I have taught in other provinces without public exams, and I hope
public exams continue to be part of our education system here in Newfoundland.
C. TOPIC SENTENCES
A policy that requires public school students to wear uniforms would be a bad idea for
several reasons. First of all, no style of clothing looks good on everyone. In their preteen and teen years, students are especially sensitive about their appearance, and having
to wear clothing that doesnt fit them well will do little to help their fragile selfesteems. In addition, uniforms are expensive. Students would need to have at least two
complete sets of uniforms to allow for laundering, which could be very costly for
parents. Of course, since most students arent likely to wear their uniforms after school,
parents also have to purchase everyday clothes like jeans, shirts, and skirts, adding
significantly to the amount they must spend on clothes. Furthermore, during the school
year students may outgrow their uniforms or other clothing, increasing the cost for
some families. Finally, a uniform policy ignores families rights and freedom to make
clothing decisions that are best for them. Certainly schools should be able to restrict
clothing that features obscene or objectionable slogans or that exposes too much skin.
However, making all students dress the same says that individuality is less important
than conformity. To conclude, the world already has too many followers, so public
schools should allow students the freedom to express their unique personalities through
their clothing.

2. Topic sentences
Answers will vary.

D. THESIS STATEMENTS
1
1.c

2.a
3.b
4.c
5.a
2.