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Confessions of a Television Watcher

Ayeza Nadeem

Television has always been a part of my life since as long as I remember. It stood
in the living room of our home, silent throughout the morning and then
springing into life every evening with a countdown and the sound of Bismillaah.
My father was a proud army man who got a Tamga-e-Imtiaz on his retirement
due to his excellent service record, a man of superb character but somewhat
lacking in the religious aspect of Islam. He thoroughly respected his wife, loved
his four daughters and gave us the best facilities in his reach like a good
education along with a healthy dose of freedom. My mother, a beautiful lady, a
home maker who although did not observe purdah, dressed modestly, offered
her daily prayers, kept fasts and gave priority to our Quranic education along
with teaching us the basic moral teachings of Islam. That was the environment I
grew up in and in that, the seventh member of our family was the Television.
Every evening we would gather around it watch the sole channel PTV, which
started with Baseerat, a program of recitation of holy Quran and its translation,
then a five minutes cartoon for young kids, then a program for older kids like
Lassie or Famous Five or Sung sung Chalen by Suhail Rana in which kids
sang songs on different national and interesting topics. There were different
dramas like Waris or Alif Noon, stage shows like Nilaam Ghar and
Kisooti, sitcoms like Fifty-Fifty and Kalian by Farooq Qaiser, some comedy
programs like Mind your Language and Perfect stranger, movies on
weekend, the Khabarnama and so much more. The people who lived in Pakistan
in the late seventies and eighties will recall what I am writing about and others
can Google it for details. The TV lounge was the centre of our activities and most
of our evenings were spent around it as a close knit family. Time flew by and the
boring black and white screen was replaced by the dazzling colored TV sets that
were magical and very glamorous. Years kept passing, newer models replaced
older ones which came with remote controls causing several fights among
siblings trying their best to get a hold of it, the remote signifying a symbol of
power and control. When I got married to my first cousin at the age of twenty
one, the first thing we did was buy a Sony colored TV for our bedroom with the
money collected at the wedding. It was still a novelty in those days as there was
usually only one TV set for all households which would be situated in the
common room so having your own TV was a huge luxury. Needless to say, I
controlled the remote and my dear hubby had to reconcile with the fact that the
remote stays in my hand for all practical purposes. When we were expecting our
first baby, we decided to self-censor many things in our lives in order to become
good role models for our child. We stopped listening to music, no more Indian
content of any kind, we did not watch Pakistani movies even then because of
their low standard but we allowed ourselves selective English movies and
programs. I know one can ask why we did not stop watching movies all together
but I believe that TV and movies are a big reality of our times, giving us
entertainment in the safety of our homes and we cannot deny that all of us
need a break from our daily routine which starts to get on your nerves if you do
not do something about it. True we have to be selective about what we should
watch and how much we should watch but they do serve a positive purpose in
life. Hollywood movies are made on every possible topic you can imagine
ranging from science fiction to super natural, western to historic or war movies,
fairy tale to other costume movies, from comedy to tragic, action or alien to
adventure in deep oceans or mountains, disasters to extinction level
catastrophes etc. It stimulates the mind, give ideas and provide a glimpse of the
world we are living in and the endless possibilities of the universe yet to be
explored. I am not listing these qualities for promoting Hollywood but this held
truth for me in my childhood and even after marriage, it gave us good relaxing
family time in the safe and secure environment of our home. I believe that as a
family we grew closer and shared quality time together while watching some
very interesting movies.
We allowed our son the same privilege and as a mother I never regretted that
decision. When my son was a few years old, a notorious serial killer by the name
of Javed Iqbal, was apprehended in Lahore who later showed evidence that he
had murdered around hundred children by kidnapping them and later disposed
of their bodies by diluting them in acid filled drums. Unfortunately, he lived
almost one kilometer from our home and needless to say that his capture
changed the society as we knew it for ages. A wave of panic and fear ran
throughout the city and parents wondered how many of these psychos were
roaming in our streets disguised as ordinary people. We were not ready to let
our children play in the neighborhood, outside the security of our homes, which
was a common practice in those days. We bought indoor games for our son like
Sega, then Play station and X-box, so he would get all his entertainment indoors
without the urge to play outside. He got all his physical activity at school and
with his cousins when they came to visit but in the comfort of his own garden.
We also watched selective movies he liked on weekends, movies that gave me
migraine with non-stop action of super heroes or aliens or robots but I held the
remotes and stayed vigilant in case I had to fast forward an inappropriate scene.
Both father and son loved movies like Star wars, Avengers, X-Men and
Transformers, enjoyed the stunts, the fast cars or fighting aircrafts with great
enthusiasm, while I watched each movie like I was fulfilling a duty. By that time
I was deeply involved with a religious organization and trying to understand the
Quran as my text book. I was in my mid- twenties and till then I never had a
chance to understand the Quran and Islam as a way of life. True, Quran always
held a special part in our lives but I realized that there was so much that I did
not know. That quest went on for years and I still think there is so much to be
learned but I found out that Islam is the most natural way of life and there is
nothing unnatural in it that contradicts with the human nature. I will elaborate
this point later but coming back to the movies, I was teaching my son everything
I was learning and trying to develop a deep connection within him towards
Islam. Even when we were watching movies, I was pointing out things that the
characters did and explained to his young impressionable mind that Muslims
dont do that and why we should refrain from doing that. For example, it was
very common in movies to show that girls and boys can be friends with each
other without getting involved romantically and it is natural. He learnt from me
that this was not so and in Islam, there is a concept of mehram and na-mehram
and casual friendship with the opposite sex is not allowed. True, they can be
class fellows in schools and universities but that requires a decorum which
cannot be classified as friendship. I found out that setting the limits was very
important and that is one advice that comes in very handy when our children
are finally ready to start their lives independent of their parents. He may have
seen people drinking alcohol in movies but I was there to tell him that it is not
allowed in Islam and Muslims do not do that and why. So basically, he was not
living in an artificial cocoon and learnt the reality of the world but with his
mother by his side to guide him and teach him the difference between right and
wrong.
My daughter joined the movie club some years later and she is the most ardent
movie fan of the whole family. She is a special child, born with developmental
delay and an autistic streak. She has her own TV set and spends most of her
time watching her favorite movies, almost a zillion times, which soothes her
irritable mind. Her favorite movies are Jumanji, Babys day out, Dunstan checks
in etc and the whole family have learnt each and every scene by heart. She
exists in a world of her own and behaves like Garfield (a well fed and pampered
cat) who rules over the hearts of the family members and treats them like his
subjects, willing to fulfill all his wishes most of the time. We are so blessed to
have at least one member of the family who has a confirmed ticket to Paradise
and lives a life of purity and innocence. Sometimes I feel sad for people who
although do not watch TV or movies and think they are full of Eemaan, treat her
as if she does not exist in this world because she does not fall into the category
of normal that they perceive for a human being. Close blood relatives who
would visit the family several times during a year but months would pass by and
they would not even make an effort to shake her hand or pat her head. I pity
the values of such people who are the Ummatti of Rasul Allaah (s) but whose
Islam has hardened their hearts and made them so insensitive to other peoples
feelings.
Although this would look like a nostalgic journey to many of you, it is not merely
that. I wanted to analyze some points in the light of Quran and Sunnah to see
what is it that we are doing wrong when we watch TV or movies? Sometimes
we hear many objections from religious minded people and I wanted to address
those objections to show that perhaps they misunderstood some points in their
eagerness to condemn all those who watch TV or movies. These are my
conclusions, you dont have to agree with me but I would welcome your feed
back as it would help me to correct my mistakes.
Allaah has given us a check list in Quran about what is permissible and what is
not, the concept of Hallal and Haraam. Then, He has categorized those deeds
and taught us what is more important and what is less important. The deeds in
Islam are not of the same weight age and we are advised to give priority to
Faraez, the things we must do, and then perform Nawafl or voluntary deeds to
please Allaah. Even if a Muslim just sticks to his Faraez, without doing any
voluntary act, he has a good chance of pleasing Allaah and entering Paradise. I
am not negating the importance of voluntary acts rather I want to stress that
nothing from the must list should be missing from our lives. The list of Faraez is
clear cut, without ambiguity and each practicing Muslim knows it. Tawheed,
Salah, Siam, Zakat, Hajj, obedience of your parents, abstaining from Riba, Zina,
murder, lying, dishonesty, theft, backbiting, having good manners, good
relations with family, friends, neighbors, spouses, eating Hallal food, getting
education, treating poor, orphan, widows with compassion, spending in Allaahs
way, spreading the massage of Islam, Jihad, Qitaal etc. These are the main body
of dos and do nots. Allaah assures us in Quran that if we abstain from bigger
sins, He will forgive our lesser sins, which Quran calls Lamam, and purify us.
We learn from Ahadeeth that each time we perform wudu, our lesser sins are
washed out and we are purified. This does not mean that we do sins
deliberately but I am trying to say is, even if we do something that is wrong, it
does not mean that we are devoid of Eeman and thus doomed forever. Now let
us analyze the first major objection of religious people that is:
Watching a na-mehram is the zina of eyes. In the very beginning, the
professional interpreter of Islam gave the Fatwa that TV is Haraam because it
had pictures in it and according to the hadeeth that forbids drawing pictures;
Muslims cannot keep TV in their homes. They were the same people who also
by the way declared using a loud speaker for calling Azan haram and gave a
fatwa to ban it. Then, after a little time they realized that TV was an undeniable
reality of our time and can be used to promote Islam as well so they nullified
that fatwa and decided to use this medium for dawah. Now how to reconcile
with the hadeeth about pictures? So the religious people sat down and decided
that these pictures were not pictures but a reflection of a person or thing and so
the image that we see on TV is allowed. This started the revolution of religious
scholars, men and women, rushing to the TV stations to promote Islam. They
produced millions of video cassettes, later VCD/DVD and now websites for the
dawah purposes. Similarly, these people interpreted the hadeeth of Nazar ka
zina or indulging in fornication of sight similar to viewing a na-mehram on TV,
which ultimately leads to hell and stated that women should lower their eyes
(gaz-e-basar) while watching TV. I would request an interpreter of Islam to
again come forward and give another fresh Fatwa to put the religious minded
people out of their misery who are watching TV or using the Internet but feeling
guilty about it at the same time. It has gotten to such a ridiculous level where
you see someone sharing an Islamic video on the internet but warns, Dear
sisters, lower your gaze as this video contain males! I have written it before
and I believe from the very core of my heart that the ruling in Islam for lowering
your gaze is for Real Live People and not about looking at someones image on
TV. Real human beings have the potential to look at each other and indulge in
inappropriate behavior, while looking at an image of a stranger on TV does not
amount to the same thing. Can anyone put me out of my misery and explain if
the potential threat of a person being in the same room with a na-mehram is
exactly the same as being in the same room with a television set with that
persons image? Why just stop at nazar ka zina then and why not elaborate it
even further by the ruling of meeting a na-mehram in privacy or Khalwat? If I
am watching an interview of a politician in the privacy of my bedroom, can a
ruling of Hadd apply on me and should I be severely punished? How can we
twist Quran and hadeeths words and rulings to justify what we think is right or
wrong? A person who truly believes this nonsensical comparison is welcome to
practice it individually but trying to impose it on other is simply too offensive.
The more I think about it, the more ridiculous it gets. Leave a sinner who
watches TV and consider a religious man or woman who just read newspaper to
stay informed. Can they claim that they are not committing nazar ka zina
everyday? And being able to read actually means that at some point in life they
must have attended a school which means books, pictures which again leads to
nazar ka zina even if the only male faces they know are of Quaid-e-azam and
Iqbal. And all those Muslims who by the way do not live in Pakistan, if you can
recognize the face of any male like Obama or king of Saudia or Hamza Yusaf or
brother so and so, you realize what you have done.fornication of sight.so
you must repent! I think Islam is the only Deen in this world which stresses the
need to Think and Contemplate. For heavens sake, do not make Islam sound so
unrealistic and comical that you actually lead people away from it with your
unnatural behavior. I think it is time to free our Deen from the clutches of these
so called scholars; start to understand the Quran and its essence from our own
heart and mind. We will know the answers, Insha Allaah.
It is a waste of time and leads to procrastination. This responsibility falls on the
person who is watching TV and if he is a good Muslim (Yes! TV watchers can be
good Muslims) he will never neglect his duties and will know how to balance his
time. Nowadays, TV and movie watching has been largely replaced by the
Internet and hand held devices that provide constant flow of information and
entertainment to its consumers. The principle remains the same, how to
balance and manage your time and use it to your advantage. A good Muslim
knows that Time is his most precious commodity and he will try to utilize it for
his own good so we cannot call it killing time. If some woman is doing all her
chores and duties with full devotion and honesty, without breaking any
commands of Allaah, and she wants to spend some time relaxing in the comfort
of her home while watching some program on TV, we cannot believe she is a
sinner and indulging in some kind of haram. We do not know what that
relaxation means to her and being a fragile human being, all of us need some
kind of a break and thus it serves a purpose. Mental relaxation to some may
mean reading Quran or praying a little more, but all of us are made differently
and all of us Muslims have different needs.
Read books to better realize your time instead of movies. I firmly believe that it
is not whether you read or watch movies; it is what you read or watch.
Sometimes the naivety of people amazes me and I strongly suggest using their
own brains for answers instead of getting all fired up after hearing a wonderful
lecture and trying to enforce the illogical principles in their homes disguised as
golden principles of Islam. I have seen very suggestive books in the hands of
children, who were denied access to television or movies and told to do the
intelligent thing instead. These innocent looking books are potentially 100%
more dangerous for Eeman if a vigilant mother is not there with her child to
guide him. For example, kids love reading comic books like Archie which
totally moves around teenage friends, partying, over eating, dating, kissing,
money, power and a complete materialistic outlook of life. Another example,
children read books by writers like Enid Blyton, which I loved to read in my
childhood, books about, The secret seven or The famous five. Now these
are stories about teenage girls and boys, friends and cousins, who go through
several adventures together, catch culprits and solve many mysteries.
Sometimes they are hiding in secret places, alone, going out in the middle of
night on some mission without the elders knowing about it, get caught by evil
people in their eagerness and are held captive etc. Now imagine if our kids get
ideas from these novels and do any of these things in real life, would that be
allowed in Islam or would that constant intermingling of sexes be strictly
forbidden? How about Harry Porter books? The story moves around magic,
spells and again secret missions of young boys and girls, which they conduct
without the knowledge of their teachers. They never face the ill effects of their
disobedience or breaking the rules and are usually rewarded for their bravery in
the end. You have to decide for yourself that even if your child is spending
quality time with a book, you should know what he is reading and try to
educate him by stating the difference between right and wrong. I know kids
who were denied access to the movies that their friends were talking about in
school, they watched it secretly behind the back of their parents the first chance
they got, alone without supervision or in a company that would not object nor
guide them to its inappropriate content. So what was better, watching with a
mother who tried to guide or watching alone? I leave the answer to my readers
who will try to analyze the situation realistically. I want to share a very amusing
incident from my own childhood that makes me laugh uncontrollably even now
when I think about it but it was definitely not funny at that time. My father was
posted in Jehlum when I was almost 9 years old, and we were living in a huge
army house adjacent to the main GT road with garden and lawns on all four
sides of the house. The house had three servant quarters at the back, one was
used by the orderlies, the other was used as a store and the third was empty
with a locked room. My two aunts with their seven children were visiting us in
the summer vacations and we were having the time of our lives. We were going
for picnics near river Jehlum, going to Mangla to see the dam, visiting the army
club to have fun and watch movies. One day, my cousin who was exactly my
age, launched the idea that we should go on some adventure, just like the
Secret seven, and for that we should first have a secret meeting to make a
plan. Everybody agreed and we decided to use the third empty servant quarter
for our secret meeting. We planned to get the key of the lock, some candles,
matches and meet at midnight. The senior most child who was 13 years old, did
not sleep that night and woke all of us up when the elders were fast asleep.
Ironically, the master mind was a sound sleeper and refused to wake up after
repeated attempts so he was left behind. We sneaked outside in the dark of the
night, feeling on top of the world, found our way to the empty servant quarter
but unfortunately the person in charge for securing the key had failed to do so
and we had to sit outside the locked room in the small open courtyard. We
lighted the two candles, sat in a semi-circle and took out the paper to draw the
map of where we should go on our mission. Little did we know that all hell had
broken lose in the house when a mother accidentally woke up and found many
children missing from their beds. The mastermind squealed giving away our
secret meeting details. The next thing we knew, the door of the courtyard open
silently, we barely saw the ferocious looks on our mothers faces in the dim
candle light before they ambushed us and a series of rubber slippers started
rainy down upon us. The startled orderlies sleeping in the other servant quarter
woke up and ran outside with huge sticks in their hands almost sure that the
colonel sahib had caught a couple of thieves and was beating the hell out of
them. What they saw was too embarrassing for me to even write down, all of us
were running to save ourselves from utter humiliating chitrol, a term I cannot
translate in English as it most probably does not exist. My father, a very good
sport on most occasions was standing on one side laughing his head off but he
refused to help us after seeing the murderous mood of the mothers and for
days we had to endure the hidden smiles of the orderlies who were too polite to
laugh openly at our faces. That was the first and last secret meeting of the
Injured Seven and we never dared to attempt anything like that ever again. I
never understood why our mothers acted like that on something that was so
childish and harmless until I became a mother myself. When I think that my
child would jeopardize his safety and leave the security of his home to go on
some imaginary quest, it makes me shudder. Even now kids are reading silly
Urdu and English novels that are full of these adventure stories and I finally
understand how the serial killer must have got his hands on most of those 100
innocent victims.
TV denies family from more healthy and wholesome activities. I do not know
about the rest of you but life now has become more hectic and demanding than
from the time when I was a child. My father used to go to his office around 8 am
and would come back around 2 pm, no 9 to 5 hours, spend quality time with us
like helping with our home work or school projects. Most of the beautifully
decorated charts proudly displayed in my class were made by my father. We
used to go to our school at 8 am, would get back around the same 2 pm and
then spend the evening at home with the family, no tuition or extra classes.
Now my husband is a General Practitioner and apart from working in the
morning, he has to work late in the evenings as well as this is a set pattern for
private practitioners. My son, as soon as he entered his O level and A level
studies, he goes to school in the morning and comes back in the evenings. He
has extra classes or extracurricular activities, which makes him stay late in
school and most of the time; he has to take private tuition sessions without
which students nowadays think they cannot compete in the ever demanding
education industry. TV has got nothing to do with this lessening of family time
but we do try to find that time on weekends and during vacations. My son and
husband are now planning to join a gym in the morning, right after Fajar, only
because the exams are over and vacations are about to start. You cannot
execute any such activities if you have to rush to your school on time at long
distances or you are dead tired after a long hectic day as that is next to
impossible.
Movie making is Haram and amounts to Lahw u Laab. Making a movie is not
haram in itself if it is serving a purpose and leading towards khair.
Unfortunately, Muslims on the whole are not making these kinds of movies and
letting the enemies take charge of this very potent media. Iran is one Muslim
country that I know which is making excellent movies on all kind of social issues
and historic events without displaying their women as a sexual object. Movies,
Dramas and Naseehed (not songs) do not have to be Idle tales which turn you
away from Allaah and Islam; rather they can lead you to it. The movie,
Message was loved and appreciated all over the world and children
remember its different scenes more vividly than they remember stories read
out to them as film making is definitely the most potent media today. Some
people give fatwas that we should not watch any movie which shows Sahaba
karaam but others believe that we should portray our Muslims heroes and their
enormous feats to our young generation so they can see and feel the real
heroes instead of what they are watching now. I feel that these Fatwas
somehow prevent the truth from coming into full light as these very people did
allow Message to be made and distributed all over the world and it had the
blessings of Al-Azhar University. We should strive for balance and the middle
way and take concessions where our Deen offers them. If Muslims took a stand
instead of always running away from what needs to be done, we could be the
one making highest standards of entertainment which served a higher purpose.
Some people are doing it, like a television series by MBC which is shown all over
the Arab world, which is based on the life of Omar razi Allaah unhu. It strikes a
feeling of love and devotion to this great personality which we have forgotten.
Then there were Turkish movies on display at Alhamra, which showed the story
of brave and intelligent men who were defending their country from US spies.
The Pakistani super hit movie, Waar was a step in the right direction despite
its short comings because it challenged the propaganda and tried to show a
realist patriotic picture of what is happening here. Like all mediums, we should
try to use it for everything that is good instead of condemning all kind of
mediums which is not possible in this day and age.
The Devil boxes (TV) corrupt the mind and have invaded our homes. Times have
changed so rapidly that now my dear old friend, TV, has taken a very low profile
in our lives. It is not a family member anymore and this position has now been
filled by the internet. My husband calls me a Cyber Jihadi as my day now
starts with checking e-mails or posts on the Facebook and responding to them
diligently. After that I start my household work but keep checking the Twitter
account on my mobile for news and views from around the world. Social media
is todays most powerful tool for sharing our views, influencing the political and
social scene through opinion making and perception management. The most
recent example of its power is the current crisis between ISI vs Geo/Govt. The
moment Hamid Mir was attacked, propaganda against ISI began but
simultaneously the Cyber Jihadies started the counter attack and by mid-night
the propagandist were on back foot and trying to analyze how it all backfired,
Alhamdullillaah. Late in the evening I surf the TV for a few selective channels
that are tuned in. On an average, about 100 channels are accessible on the Dish
and around 80 on the cable network. From all these available channels, I have
tuned in about 15 or 20 channels which include Sports, News, Cartoons and a
few entertainment channels. These channels are heavily censored plus there are
regulatory bodies that control and monitor them. However, what you are
watching on the net is completely uncensored and not within any kind of
control or limits. To think that TV in this day and age is the worst thing that can
happen to you and your child is pure ignorance of facts. The Cyber world is such
a drastically different world that one would be shocked and amazed at its
potential evilness. I have heard different good scholars like Hamza Yusaf talk
about the threat of pornography on the internet and how it is addictive like a
drug which is affecting Muslims as well and no one is safe from its ill effects. It
stimulates the reward centers of the brain, exactly like Heroine or Meth, and
the addict craves more and more of it to get high. I thought that because he
lives in America which does not practice media censorship, they must be having
this problem over there but because we are an Islamic Republic these sites must
be banned over here, after all they did ban YouTube for a different reason. My
husn e zan was very short lived and I discovered that if you have that innocent
looking Google search bar on your computer, you can have access to unlimited
free porn sites, no complications and no questions asked! That is why, when I
sometimes secretly check the browsing history on my computer after my son
leaves, I say a silent prayer of gratitude that he is still watching Wrestling or
vampire and supernatural sort of stuff instead of that morally retarding filth. I
do trust him but I cannot be neglectful that my son can fall into some bad habit
and I remain ignorant of it. For all parents who have desktops, laptops,
palmtops and mobiles with internet connectivity, please beware of what your
kids are watching. We cannot throw out these devices as they are the biggest
tool for getting information in these times and students need help in their
studies using the positive info it provides. We have to teach our kids the
difference between right and wrong according to our Deen, learn to trust them,
give them a margin for mistakes, help them if they falter and most important of
all, pray for them. That is the most we can do for ourselves and for them.
I strongly believe that Islam is the most natural way of life, to be lived
practically in the very real world and according to the time we are sent in. Our
obligations are vividly clear and we should constantly check whether we are
fulfilling the most important and obvious duties honestly and with utter
sincerity. What I understand according to Surah Al-Hadeed is that Christians
started the act of monasticism to please Allaah, which He had not imposed on
them, but they failed to do justice with the concept because it was not a natural
concept and led to opposite results at times due to its rigidity. They wanted to
shun all worldly pleasures in order to please Allaah but just take a look at how
the Pope lives now and you would realize the contrasting effect it had. We
cannot judge others by our own man-made standards as Allaah has His own
standards by which He will ultimately judge us. If the people who do not watch
TV are indulging in bigger sins that hurt people around them in any way, then
this self-imposed ban will not help but if their intent is to please Allaah, He may
accept it whole heartedly and grant them great rewards. I watch TV but I do
love my Lord and feel close to Him all the time. If I die today, I have no regrets,
no complaints, no pending tasks, many ongoing ones but if it is my time I will be
happy to leave this world for my new home, en route to Jannaah, Insha Allaah. I
pray that Allaah guide our hearts, forgives all our sins, big and small, and grants
us Jannat al Firdous due to His Mercy alone which encompasses everything.
Ameen !

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