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YELLOWBURN
I NVESTMENT OPPORTUNI TI ES
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Yellowburn Borough Council
Town Hall, King William St, BB1 7DY
Main Switchboard: 01254 653194
www.yellowburn.co.uk
www.increasing-UK-happiness.net
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J. Samsom
Yellowburn Borough Councillor
It is not money
that makes people happy,
but peoples happiness
that makes money.
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Yellowburn
In 2011 the UN passed Resolution 65/309, which encouraged all
member states to measure Happiness. Subsequently, nations are
ranked according to their Happiness, and Happiness came to be
regarded as a better measure of a nations success than GDP.
Back in 2014, the UK was in 22nd Place. Tis was considered by the
UK Government to be not at all refective of the position that the UK
should hold in the world.
Blackburn - a town in the north of the England - was at that point
one of the least happy places in the UK. It was therefore chosen to be
the frst town in which to implent the new proposals; it changed from
Blackburn to Yellowburn and was the very frst city in the world to
ban all Non-Happiness in public spaces, in order to help the UK rise
up the Global Happiness rankings.
BLACKBURN
Coat of Arms
YELLOWBURN
Coat of Arms
See Appendix B for more information
on Coat of Arms Redesign
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Rising up the Global Happiness Rankings
Happiness : Te New Defnition
Happiness of the UK : 2014 to Today
Global Happiness : 700BC to Today
The Financials
Te Cost-Beneft Analysis of Emotions
Yellowburn : Te Proft Potential
The Investment Opportunities
1. FRCCTV
2. Social Happiness tax
3. Y-Districts
4. Black Clothing Tax
5. Information Bouncy Booths
6. Costa Rican Exchange
7. Freephone Optimism
8. Encouraging Playgrounds
9. Te Cat Tail Wagging Device
10. Prescription Glasses

APPENDICES
A Proft and Loss : Yellowburn, Year 1
B Yellowburn Coat of Arms Redesign
C Cities to target afer Yellowburn
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CONTENTS
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RISING UP THE
GLOBAL HAPpINESS
RANKINGS
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Back in 2014, Dawn Snape, Head of Personal Wellbeing at the UK
Ofce of National Statistics, was quoted as saying Whilst measuring
Happiness, we do not really know what we are measuring what I
class as Happiness could be very diferent from what you think it is.
With every nation in the world ranked according to its Happiness,
this lack of clarity, as to what was being measured, was deemed
inappropriate. One year later, in order to reach a consensus about
what Happiness is and thus make it truly measurable, experts came
together for a 10 day summit in Denmark.
Over the 10 days, the defnition of Happiness was debated with input
from politicians, scientists, psychologists, legal teams and other
experts on Happiness. Although legal experts explained that there
is no legal defnition as to what Happiness is, they introduced the
term merepuf into the proceedings. Tis term commonly refers to
a statement which is not meant to be taken seriously, and therefore
allows companies and corporations to make claims they cannot
substantiate. It thus allowed the politicians to defne Happiness as:
HAPPINESS : THE NEW DEFINITION
33.4% A smile upon the face
33.3% A pleasant demeanor
33.3% An optimistic outlook
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HAPPINESS OF THE UK
Back in 2014 the UK lingered in 22nd place in terms of Happiness.
In one year since the introduction of Yellowburn and putting the
proposals into action, the UK rose 6 places in the Global Happiness
Rankings. Projections by external Independant advisors show that,
with continued implementation of proposals in Yellowburn, and
by extending the proposals to other unhappy cities in the UK (See
Appendix C for further information), the UK will rise to 3rd place
within the next 5 years.
Te 10 Happiest Nations
Projected Rankings in 5 years time
1. Denmark
2. Norway
3. UK
4. Switzerland
5. Netherlands
6. Sweden
7. Canada
8. Costa Rica
9. Finland
10. Austria
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Te pursuit of Happiness has long puzzled and eluded man, while
remaining a goal of the highest order for centuries.
But today, Yellowburn has stop merely trying to pursue Happiness;
by efectively banning any NonHappiness, and rewarding Happiness,
Happiness is attained.
GLOBAL HAPPINESS
700BCtoday
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1. Happiness is a gif from the Gods, we have no control over it.
2. Happiness can only be reckoned at death.
3. We control our own Happines.
4. To fnd Happiness one must order the soul.
5. To fnd Happiness one must live by reason.
6. Tere is no Happiness on earth; we will be happy when we die.
7. To fnd Happiness one must follow the rules of God.
8. Forgiveness is pure Happiness.
9. Government cannot legislate for Happiness.
10. Everyone has the right to Happiness.
11. Happiness can be bought.
12. Government has an obligation to provide Happiness.
13. Happiness is not found in possessions.
14. We need Unhappiness to feel Happiness.
15. NonHappiness is outlawed from society.
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THE FINANCIALS
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Fig. 1: Productivity and Proft of Emotions.
By Yellowburn (then Blackburn) Economic Advisor S. Morrister
COST-BENEFIT:
EMOTIONS
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Fig. 2 : Te Costs and Benefts of Emotions.
By Yellowburn (then Blackburn) Economic Advisor S. Morrister
COST-BENEFIT:
EMOTIONS
Less critical
Healthier
More productive / Less sick days
Happiness
May need therapy / drugs
Less Productive
More creative
Sadness
Potentially act out their anger
Increased risk of health problems
Anger
Unpredictability Excitement
Low Productivity
May need help
Fear
Cost to Healthcare Sevices
Potential costs for Business
Cost to Healthcare Sevices
Cost to Police Sevices
Cost to Police Sevices
Cost to Business
General cost to society
Reduced Police Costs
Reduced Healthcare Costs
Increased Proft for Business
Increased music & art
EMOTION MAIN CHARACTERISTICS COSTS BENEFITS
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Happier citizens are therefore
cost-efective:
More productive
More agreeable
More healthy
Increased productivity
increases proft for Business, raises
income from Business taxes, and
encourages Business Investment in to the
town.
Agreeable citizens
reduce the cost to the police service.
Healthier citizens
reduce the cost to the health service.
Research shows that
happier people are:
THE PROFIT
POTENTIAL
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THE PROFIT
POTENTIAL
As well as pushing the UK up the global Happiness rankings,
Yellowburn has the added beneft of being a proftable investment
opportunity.
On the following pages you will fnd a number of investment
opportunities.
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INVESTMENT
OPPORTUNITIES
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INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
FRCCTV
Every major city or town in the
world has CCTV. Yellowburn has
not only joined them but beaten
them by installing FRCCTV :
Facial Recognition CCTV. Tese
cameras, on every corner, can
accurately detect from someones
face and body how happy they
are.
Investors will receive a 5%
return on their investment into
FRCCTV.
By comparing people to a
standardized scale, FRCCTV
allows the Happiness level of
each resident to be tracked.
PROPOSAL 1:
FRCCTV
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INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
Residents who the FRCCTV
classes as Happy will receive
Social Happiness Tax Credits.
Residents who are classed as
NonHappy will be fned with a
tax penalty.
Tax Credits:
A sliding scale of 5- 25 per
hour. Dependant on the level
of Happiness detected by the
FRCCTV while the resident is in
any public place.
Penalties:
10 for every 30 minutes in
which the resident is detected by
FRCCTV as NonHappy in any
public space.
Skipping while smiling, making
eye contact, and being optimistic
for a full 60 minutes in a public
place results in the top tax credit
of 25.
PROPOSAL 2:
social happiness tax
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Residents who are detected as
NonHappy will be taxed and
escorted to a Y-District for a
selection of therapies including
CBT, NLP etc.
Price per 1 day stay : 100
Cost per 1 day stay : 32
Proft per 1 day stay: 68
Expected Annual Proft:
165,000
Y-Districts will be located in the
North, East, South and West of
Yellowburn.
CBT
NLP
ANG
ETC
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 3:
Y-DISTRICTS
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Black is the colour of misery,
insecurity and fear. Wearing it
can create NonHappiness not
only in yourself, but in others
too.
Tax:
17.50 for each minute of wearing
Black in public places.
Expected Annual Proft:
483,000
FRCCTV will detect whether a
resident is wearing black.
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 4:
BLACK CLOTHING TAX
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In todays media landscape with
no fyers and spam email flters,
disseminating information to
residents about new proposals
or enforcements can be difcult.
By allowing them to be happy,
and bounce like they did in the
happy days of their youth on
bouncy castles, they are more
likely to take in the information.
Investors will receive a 5% return
on their investment.
Te Information Bouncy Booths
will be located every 500metres
throughout Yellowburn
whenever a new proposal or
enforcement is announced.
Maximum 7 proposals printed
on the walls per booth to avoid
information overload.
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 5:
INFOrmation BOUNCY BOOTHS
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Costa Rica currently has a higher
Happiness ranking than the UK.
An annual exchange to Costa
Rica aims to increase the
Happiness of the residents of
Yellowburn.
Cost of Annual Trip : 87,000
Expected annual income from
sales of chayote : 131,000
Tax breaks for Yellowburn shops
who sell chayote (a popular
Costa Rican Fruit) rather than
apples.
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 6:
COSTA RICA EXCHANGE
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A freephone optimism number
is available 24 hours a day to
provide an optimistic outlook
whatever situation a resident
fnds themselves in.
Fixed costs of 2,500 per annum.
Investors will receive 5% return
on their investment.
Voiced by a computer simulation
of a human voice.
0800 401 4121
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 7:
FREEPHONE OPTIMISM
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Happy, confdent children grow
into Happy adults.
Speakers in playgrounds
around Yellowburn will react
to the childs play, and speak
encouraging words to build their
confdence.
Fixed costs of 7,800 per annum.
Investors will receive 5% return on
their investment.
Additional speakers can be
purchased by residents (45-85
per speaker) and attached to a
childs bicycle, scooter or other
toy.
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 8:
ENCOURAGING
PLAYGROUNDS
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Tis device is mandatory for
every cat to wear if they are
unable to be trained to wag their
tail by resident cat trainer Sheila
Carruthers.
Cost per unit : 3.78
Charge per unit : 38.00
Proft per unit : 34.22
Total Proft per annum :
91,367.00
Tail wagging speeds can be set
between 5mph and 25 mph.
THE CAT-TAIL WAGGER
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 9:
THE CAT-TAIL WAGGER
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Te glasses are programmed to
the fnancial staus of each
resident. Whilst wearing them,
the glasses blur any item which
is in the line of sight and which
the resident cannot aford. Tis
helps the resident avoid feelings
of jealousy, insecurity and
NonHappiness.
Mandatory Unit Price to each
resident: 42*
*Extra 7.50 for any colour other
than yellow. Not available in
black.
Unit Cost: 13.50
Proft per item: 28.50
Annual Proft: 2,994,922.00
Expected to be introduced in
Year 3 of Yellowburn.
INFORMATION FINANCIALS other
PROPOSAL 10:
PRESCRIPTION GLASSES
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APPENDICES
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Appendix A
Profit & loss
Yellowburn, Year 1
To view the Balance Sheet or to obtain other
accounting information, please visit the website:
www.yellowburn.co.uk
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Tree Bees
Te busy people of the mills in
Blackburn.
Shuttlecock
An instrument for passing wef
threads through a weave to make
cloth.
Horn
Te Mayor was called Mr Horner
Arte et Labore
Te Latin for Skill and Work
Te River Blakewater
Tis river runs through Blackburn
Dove
Bird of Peace
Five Lambs
Lambs are really cute, cuddly and
looking at lambs makes people smile.
Te Sun
Everyone feels happy when the sun is out
Beatus Beata Beatum
Te Latin for Happy Happy Happy
Te River Blakewater
Tis river runs throughYellowburn
Two Doves
Birds of Peace
Appendix B
Coat of Arms Redesign
BLACKBURN
Coat of Arms
YELLOWBURN
Coat of Arms
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Appendix C
the cities to target
after Yellowburn
Newport
Inner London
Dundee
Stoke on Trent
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Appendix C
the cities to target
after Yellowburn
Te cities which will see the proposals implemented are those which
are ranked as amongst the least happy places in the UK. By raising
Happiness in these places, the overall Happiness of the UK will rise,
and thus push the UK up the Global Happiness Rankings into one of
the top positions in the world.
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Yellowburn Borough Council
Town Hall, King William St, BB1 7DY
Main Switchboard: 01254 653194
www.yellowburn.co.uk
www.increasing-UK-happiness.net