TAKE A LOOK AT OUR WEDDING PICTURES PAGE A6 | MESHING FAITH WITH LOVE FOR GAY SON PAGE A15 OPALGAS VICTORIES AND ITS FUTURE PAGE A12 DAVID PIERINI/Staff Photographer With their children at their side, Kim Hefner and Laura Drumm seal their marriage with a kiss at a mass wedding at Unity Temple this month. PRIDE 2014 A2 June 19, 2014 Senator Don Harmon President Pro Tempore
6933 W. North Ave. Oak Park, IL 60302 (708) 848-2002
329 Capitol Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-8176
www.donharmon.org dharmon@senatedem.ilga.gov Representative Camille Lilly 5755 W. Division St. Chicago, IL 60651 (773) 473-7300
282-S Stratton Office Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-6400
statereplilly@yahoo.com WWW.OAKPARKDEMS.ORG 1243 WOODBINE, SUITE 101 OAK PARK, ILLINOIS 60302 (708) 386-0090 DPOP@DONHARMON.ORG Senator Don Harmon President Pro Tempore
6933 W. North Ave. Oak Park, IL 60302 (708) 848-2002
329 Capitol Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-8176
www.donharmon.org dharmon@senatedem.ilga.gov Representative Camille Lilly 5755 W. Division St. Chicago, IL 60651 (773) 473-7300
282-S Stratton Office Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-6400
statereplilly@yahoo.com WWW.OAKPARKDEMS.ORG 1243 WOODBINE, SUITE 101 OAK PARK, ILLINOIS 60302 (708) 386-0090 DPOP@DONHARMON.ORG Senator Don Harmon President Pro Tempore
6933 W. North Ave. Oak Park, IL 60302 (708) 848-2002
329 Capitol Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-8176
www.donharmon.org dharmon@senatedem.ilga.gov Representative Camille Lilly 5755 W. Division St. Chicago, IL 60651 (773) 473-7300
282-S Stratton Office Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-6400
WWW.OAKPARKDEMS.ORG 1243 WOODBINE, SUITE 101 OAK PARK, ILLINOIS 60302 (708) 386-0090 DPOP@DONHARMON.ORG Senator Don Harmon President Pro Tempore
6933 W. North Ave. Oak Park, IL 60302 (708) 848-2002
329 Capitol Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-8176
www.donharmon.org dharmon@senatedem.ilga.gov Representative Camille Lilly 5755 W. Division St. Chicago, IL 60651 (773) 473-7300
282-S Stratton Office Building Springfield, IL 62706 (217) 782-6400
statereplilly@yahoo.com WWW.OAKPARKDEMS.ORG 1243 WOODBINE, SUITE 101 OAK PARK, ILLINOIS 60302 (708) 386-0090 DPOP@DONHARMON.ORG Proud to Serve staterepcamilleylilly@gmail.com Come as you are. Be inspired. Connect. Live your values. 875 Lake Street, Oak Park www.unitytemple.org
Come as you are. Be inspired. Connect. Live your values.
875 Lake Street, Oak Park www.unitytemple.org PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A3 B y D E B Q U A N T O C K M C C A R E Y Contributing Reporter In the glow that is Illinois legal- ization of same sex marriage on June 1, many blessing ceremonies, group nuptials and traditional church weddings have, or will occur, this summer for couples who are new, or long-time residents of Oak Park. Wednesday Journal recently sat with a few. Going to the chapel Oak Parkers Tom Gull, 54, and Tim Flesch, 56, first met singing in a Catholic church choir. Two years later, in 1988, they became a couple, and in August the two men will exchange vows, rings and favorite tunes during a traditional church wedding by an Episcopalian priest at a parish in Chicago. Tearing and cheering the long- time couple on will be a modest showing of family and friends. The day the same sex marriage law passed the House in Illinois, I felt like a little kid, says Gull, who does development work for a non- profit museum. I couldnt work anymore that day. I was too excited. It was like the last day of school, like I could not stay in my seat. For Tom, as the youngest of seven kids, and with him having gone to his five sisters weddings, as well as the nuptials for his neph- ews, he says they were all happy occasions, but I always felt like I was being left out because I could never have that. Gull says he first proposed to Tim when marriage became legal in California. Having been in a committed rela- tionship for just over a quarter of a century now, they say their wedding will be a simple religious ceremony that renews their commitment to each other, as well as result in a societal validation of their relation- ship. We have been together for so long, and it does feel good to have the recognition by the government for this, and our family is very happy for us, says Tim, who works in the insurance industry. This will also entitle him to my pension, and if I need to go on his insurance, so for a lot of legal reasons this is a good thing. The reality of holding a marriage certificate, they say wont change anything with their immediate families, adding that over the years their moms have recognized their anniversaries with cards acknowl- edging their love for one another. I am Catholic, and I didnt want to get married on the sidewalk, in the street, or in the backyard, says Tim. I wish I could get married in my own church, but its not pos- sible. That change will have to come from within, and we will have to be patient. Finally saying yes When Jim Kelly, 67, and Bruce Broerman, 69, watched Gov. Pat Quinn sign the same sex marriage bill at the UIC Pavilion last winter, what the couple of 26 years and proud papas of two children and five grandchildren saw was the gov- ernor signing a paper on a desk Abraham Lincoln had used to pen one of his inaugural addresses. It was in that emotionally impact- ful moment that Bruce finally accepted Jims long-standing mar- riage proposal, and they began planning the small, secular cere- mony that will start and end under a party tent in their Oak Park backyard in August. A long-time friend, who is a min- ister, will officiate, coaching them through the exchanging of rings and vows, with a small group of friends and family looking on. Bruce had been married for 13 years [to a woman], and when we started our lives together in 1988, his daughter Stephanie was finish- ing her junior year in high school and his son Martin was finishing sixth grade, so these kids have been part of my life, and I have been part of their lives, for a long time, says Kelly, an involved Oak Parker who continues to contribute to the qual- ity of life in Oak Park. Doing this now, Jim adds, will not only be a symbolic gesture, but in the moment of officially making the commitment in public, he expects it to have an emotional impact, as well as bring a profound sense of arriv- ing at something that had not been achieved before, he says. In addition to the entitlements being legally married affords, get- ting married in the traditional sense will be a public proclama- tion, because I do not feel like we are riding a trendthis for me is symbolic in the highest sense, Jim says. When I think about all the things I want to say to Bruce, that are not different than things I have said to him before, to put it in a form of a declaration, and then receive rec- ognition from society what mar- riage is a right of passage and what it confers is recognition, status and I want that for us. In planning the affair, Bruce quips well, we didnt have to put out much for our wedding gowns, and the couple shares a laugh. Instead, Jim and Bruce will wear matching Guayaberas Mexican wedding shirts, and exchange rings a favorite jeweler in Mexico has crafted especially for them, while a small group of friends and family cheer them on. Every poll indicates that the arc of history is leaning toward justice, says Jim, and by another generation, this will be a non issue. Loving that its legal Elizabeth Ritzman, 59, and Cheryl Haugh, 63, initially were married by their minister at Hyde Park Union Church in Chicago in 1993. At that wedding, related to that moment in time, 40 people were invit- ed, as same sex marriage was not yet legal, and we were concerned about losing custody [of the children], or negatively impacting the congrega- tions where I served as a counseling minister, Elizabeth says. Four stories from a summer of w eddings DAVID PIERINI/Staff photographer Tom Gull and Tim Flesch opted to take their time to plan a dream wedding for later this summer. Section Contributors Sarah Corbin, Tom Holmes, Deb Quantock McCarey and David Pierini Digital Editor Ashley Lisenby Web Developer Mike Risher Editorial Design Manager Claire Innes Editorial Designers Jacquinete Baldwin, Sky Hatter Production Design Manager Philip Soell Advertising Design Manager Andrew Mead Advertising Designers Maggie Acker, Debbie Becker Advertising Director Marc Stopeck Advertising Sales Dawn Ferencak, Missy Laurell Display Advertising Coordinator Alicia Plomin Editor and Publisher Dan Haley VP/Director of Operations Andrew Johnston HOW TO REACH US Wednesday Journal, 141 S. Oak Park Ave., Oak Park, Illinois 60302 PHONE 708-524-8300 FAX 708-524-0447 ONLINE www.OakPark.com www.RiverForest.com The law catches up to love COVER PHOTO With their children at their side, Kim Hefner and Laura Drumm seal their marriage with a kiss at a mass wedding at Unity Temple this month. DAVID PIERINI/Staff Photographer See WEDDINGS on Page 4 PRIDE 2014 A4 June 19, 2014 B y D E B Q U A N T O C K M C C A R E Y Contributing Reporter With the dust still settling after the forced closure of Forest Parks last gay bar, The Hideaway, 7301 W. Roosevelt Rd. in April, and in light of the earlier demise of The Nutbush, in Forest Park, and the fiery (as in arson) close of Oak Parks Velvet Rope, bartender Mike Jimenez isnt ready to give up the ghost yet. The former Forest Park resident now lives in Berwyn and he is looking for a local res- urrection of the gay bar scene in the near west suburbs. Until then, there is still the proverbial last gay bar standing and thats Antronios Bar and Grill, 6319 W. Roosevelt Rd. in Berwyn. In 2007 Entrepreneur magazine put gay bars on its list of businesses facing extinction in the next 10 years, adding only the very best of them will survive, the others wont. A big reason many of the local gay bars are gone is that they did not keep up with the times to continue drawing people in, says Jimenez, who has bartended at the two for- mer gay bars in Forest Park, and Cell Block in Chicago. Hideaway and Nutbush were pretty much the only bars in Forest Park that didnt have any windows, so as time went on the crowd there was getting older. Going into the city is far, and not drinking and driving is a factor, and Boys Town has gotten more dangerous lately. But, just opening up a dive and calling it a gay bar is not reason enough for people to come. There have been a lot of gay bars that have opened and closed in the suburbs. You really have to have some kind of niche. David Monterosso, 54, a former Hideaway patron, says since its closing, he and his gay friends have been enjoying Wednesday night Karaoke at Caroles, 7307 Roosevelt Rd. in Forest Park, and patronizing Poor Phils in Oak Park for their Friday night get-togethers to watch sports, or relax on the patio. Even so, he would prefer going to a gay bar to meet new friends. I think there is a lot of truth to the reality that gay couples and gay people no longer feel that they exclusively need to patronize gay bars, but the Hideaway will be somewhat missed, says Charlie Yingling, 36. What Yingling, a nurse practitioner says is that he often would gather at the bar to unwind after work with straight female coworkers. He acknowledges that among most gay people, including himself, there is still an internalized fear and mistrust toward others regarding how a gay person may be perceived in public, especially if a couple chooses to hold hands, or publicly display affection. I would not be disappointed to see a new gay bar open in the Hideaways space, says Yingling, who recently legally re-married his long-time partner in June. I do think it would be a good thing, as yet another offering in the community for something to do on a weekend at night that doesnt involve driving into the city. Yet, what Jimenez and Monterosso are hop- ing is that a new gay bar will emerge beyond the rumors that are circulating now. I think there is a huge need for a gay bar out here, for a sense of community [because] things become more open, we are starting to lose a part of our identity [including] the remembrance of how we got here. For me, the gay bar is part of all that, so I dont think it is dying, but in evolution, and between Berwyn, Oak Park and Forest Park, there is a large population of individuals who would love to see one open again.
Can local gay bars survive? Should they? DAVID PIERINI/Staff Photographer Michael Jimenez says gay bars are an important part of the culture and hopes they do not disappear as gays and lesbians achieve more and more acceptance. The Hideaway, Nutbush and Velvet Rope. All gone. Find out what all of the buzz is about. Sign up today for our Breaking News Emails. Join the community at RBLandmark.com ForestParkReview.com OakPark.com RiverForest.com PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A5 Lori Hannigan 518 N. Lombard Ave. Oak Park, IL 60302 708-848-8631 Tuckpointing Building Cleaning Window Caulking Chimney Repairs Fully Insured Edward Cross & Son, Inc. Since 1937 We now accept credit cards. Village of Oak Park Trustee Colette Lueck Out and proud to have served OakPark for 6 years Congratulates the Oak Park Area Lesbian and Gay Association for 25 years of activism on behalf of the LGBT community. H a p p y P r i d e 2 0 1 4 ! 101 N. Marion St., Suite 306, Oak Park, IL 60301 Phone: 708/445.8747 E-mail: sophie@vistafp.com Website: www.vistafp.com F I N A N C I A L P L A N N I N G Set and meet your nancial goals with expert Fee- Only advice thats designed for you. (Theres no charge for your initial consultation!) Sophie Kaluziak, CPA, CFP
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PRIDE 2014 A6 June 19, 2014 For her, as a Christian and a reli- gious person, Elizabeth says the legal piece of that catching up to the other is meaningful, and should have accompanied that service back then. So, in early August, she and Cheryl, a chiropractor who has co- parented her three children since then, will renew their vows in a similar, religious ceremony in Oak Park. Adding color and cute to the service will be their flower-petal- tossing granddaughters, bedecked in long white princess tutus with pink sashes. Afterwards, a large outdoor reception with family and friends is planned. We considered ourselves to already be in a marriage because we got married in a church by a minister, just didnt get a cer- tificate from the County Clerk, Elizabeth says. Among the hundreds of entitle- ments they will now receive as a married couple, they say, is a break on their health insurance premium. Cheryl is on my insurance, but I do pay more in taxes on that, than I do for the health premium for her, Elizabeth says. Its about $300 for the taxes, so that will be a savings for us. We have been mar- ried for a long time now, so we are not going to get re-married. We are not going to get finally married. We are going to get our civil rights attached to our marriage. Choosing to be upfront and hon- est with their children from the start, a social snag came when their daughter Sophia, then a sec- ond grader at Beye School, told a classmate she had two moms, and he reacted badly. I called the school, and her teach- er was understanding and proactive about talking to our daughters class about it, says Cheryl. Sophias response was to be proactive, so she brought us for show and tell. That was rough. We were scared. But from the kids we had burning questions like what is your favorite color and what is your favorite letter. Still, life did go on, and a big change in status for them did come. The human story here is that we have been married for 20 years. The technical story is that we dont have our rights until [we get legally mar- ried], says Elizabeth. The roman- tic part is an everyday thing. That has been going on from the start. Going with Grace On June 2, in the packed sanctu- ary at Grace Episcopal Church in Oak Park, Bob Vogler, 62, and his life partner, Tony Dobrowolski, 62, exchanged vows during the regular church service. Residents of Oak Park for 22 years, Bob, a church organist, and Tony an actor and jewelry designer, had engaged in a com- mitment ceremony in 1995, after- wards poising themselves for a day they longed for, but thought would never happen. We decided to get married as close to June 1 as possible, because June 2 was my birthday, and I figured that getting married on that day would be the best birth- day present I could get, because I thought that us getting married would never be possible, and I was stubborn enough to not want to get married until it was legal where I lived. At the wedding, which was one of the first to occur in a church in Oak Park, Tonys stepson and his grand- children were part of the wedding party, as best people and junior best people, he said. We have always been active in this parish, and religion has always been part of my life, says Bob. Getting married in a church with a priest doing our vows was a valida- tion, and more of a public statement than just going to the justice of the peace. Now, a few weeks after their wed- ding, Tony says he still feels like he is walking on air. This is something people cant take away from us, and that feels nice, he says. Tony says they will go on a trip, or honeymoon, later in the summer, and as far as the wedding went, it was simple and inexpensive, and did not break the bank, he jokes. We wanted this to be about fam- ily, and celebrating the wedding, as opposed to how many thousands of dollars did we spend on a wed- ding and everything, says Bob. Hes been the one and only person I wanted to be with. Part of this is the acceptance of that. WEDDINGS Continued from page A3 DAVID PIERINI/Staff Photographer Marsha Borders, left, and wife Trenace Ford dance during the reception. Ten cakes for 10 couples and each took turns having their photo taken cutting their cake. As Winston Nguyen and Mark Barrett awaited their turn, Nguyen calls someone over to watch. PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A7 One-of-a-kind gifts for one-of-a-kind couples. 1024 North Blvd., Oak Park, IL | 708.383.3066 | www.carefulpeach.com There are countless reasons to register at the Peach, including: A percentage of the registry proceeds donated to your favorite charity Personalized, one-on-one service for you and your guests, whether over the phone, online, or in the shop Unlimited champagne, but of course! Good Shepherd Lutheran Celebrates MARRIAGE EQUALITY Start Planning Your Wedding With Us Today! www.GoodShepherdlc.org 611 Randolph St., Oak Park We meet on the 4 th Sunday First United Church of Oak Park: 848 Lake Street, Oak Park (at Kenilworth) 3 pm - 5 pm This is a place of confidentiality. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, Bisexuals and Transgender Support .... Education....Advocacy 708.386.3016 www.pflag.org www.oakpark-pflag.blogspot.com PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A9
Chocolate covered Champagne bottles are the perfect wedding pres- ent, thank you, table treat. RIVER FOREST CHOCOLATES, RIVER FOREST. Chocolate covered Champagne bottles are the perfect wedding pres- ent, thank you, table treat. RIVER FOREST CHOCOLATES, RIVER FOREST. to HAVE to HOLD Toast to a lifetime of love. These mouth-blown glass flutes are handmade in the Czech Republic using techniques passed down through the generations. CAREFUL PEACH, OAK PARK $128 FOR THE PAIR Classic lace like diamond floral inset. $3,800 Tickled pink. $463 Elegant. Classic. $1,059 With diamond inset.$2015 Two intertwined, connected, endlessly. $2175 With diamond inset $2129 Wear your home close to your heart. Thank you Illinois. BEE HOME AND GARDEN, OAK PARK RINGS FROM OAK PARK JEWELERS, PRIDE 2014 A8 June 19, 2014 Celebrating A bouquet to hold before she holds her best friends hand forever. TULIPIA, RIVER FOREST. The perfect card for the perfect couple. By R3MG Designs. GREEN HOME EXPERTS, OAK PARK $4 e she holds her best LIPIA, RIVER FOREST. The perfect ca p ard for couple. By R3MMG De HOMME EXPERRTS, O Cake at the Carleton of Oak Park designed and baked to perfection by Mayra of Oak Park- based Chubby Love Bake Shop. WWW.CHUBBYLOVEBAKESHOP.COM. a lifetime of love B y S A R A H C O R B I N Shopping blogger Hand in hand. For wedding location decor and the perfect wedding present. UPDATE INTERIORS, OAK PARK Having a wedding at home? Serve with perfection. Ironstone ceramic Jardins du Monde platter handmade in Portugal. CAREFUL PEACH, OAK PARK $175 PRIDE 2014 A10 June 19, 2014 814 North Boulevard 708-848-3434 www.cucinaoakpark.com 20% Off Your Carry-Out Order Good through 07/02/14 not valid when combined with other offers or gift cards 814 North Boulevard 708-848-3434 www.cucinaoakpark.com Come Out and Enjoy Classic Italian Dishes on Cucina Paradisos New Covered Outdoor Patio weather permitting ANGELIKA KUEHN Law Ofce www.kuehnlawofce.com 171 S. Oak Park Avenue 708.383.0785 Proudly Serving the Community FOR 20+ YEARS Wills Trusts Powers of Attorney Resolution of Blended Family Issues Wise Counsel For Your Future Congratulations on Marriage Equality All Means All Euclid Ave UMC 708.848.7360 oce@euclidumc.org www.EuclidAvenueumc.org let your voice be heard PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A11 Chicago 45th Annual Pride Parade Chicago Pride Weekend consists of a two- day festival and our world-famous parade. The two-day festival takes place along Chicagos famed Halsted strip on Saturday, June 21, 2014 and Sunday, June 22, 2014. Stage acts and events for the festival The parade kicks off at noon on Sunday, June 29, 2014, at Montrose Avenue and Broadway in Uptown and ends near the inter- section of Diversey Parkway and Sheridan Road in Lincoln Park. Pride Month in June is the culmination of Chicagos vibrant LGBT community. The energy in the city peaks on Pride Weekend, which falls on the last week- end of June each year in commemoration of the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. On Pride Frida and Saturday thousands will gather along Halsted for the two day festival. Stages of music, exhibitors, great food and drinks are available to enjoy. In the evening the revelers will pour into Boystown clubs and party into the wee hours of the night. On Sunday the roar of the crowd heralds the start of the Pride Parade, a dazzling cav- alcade of diversity. The streets are lined 12 people deep as 750,000 people cheer the contin- gents on and enjoy the show, culture and expe- rience! For the liveliest viewing spots head to the Boystown section of North Halsted Street, between Belmont Avenue and Grace Street. If you are seeking a less crowded area to view the parade, look for your viewing spots near the beginning of the route along Broadway between Montrose Avenue and Sheridan Road or further along Broadway between Belmont Avenue and Diversey Parkway. It helps to know some tips, tricks and pearls of wisdom for surviving the weekend and ensuring a fun, happy and safe stay in Chicago. And if youre visiting just for the weekend, you might find some special offers on hotel rooms on ChicagoPride.com. When is Chicago Pride? The Chicago Pride two-day Celebration and Parade historically takes place the final weekend in June of each year. The 2014 event, which will be the 45nd anniversary of Chicago Pride, is set to take place June 21-22. How did Pride begin? The annual Pride Celebration commemo- rates the rebellion of LGBT patrons of the Stonewall Inn in New York Citys Greenwich Village in response to a routine police raid on June 27, 1969. The following year, a Gay- In that took place on June 27, 1970 that was the early progenitor of the current Pride Celebration. Since 1972, the event has been held every year, Since its modest beginnings, Chicago Pride has grown to be one the larg- est and most well-known Pride events in the world. Pride has come to symbolize sev- eral things: the long history of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer dignity, the freedom of all people to meaningfully and proudly express their sexual and gender iden- tities, and the commitment of LGBT people to combating oppression. Do I need a ticket to get into Pride? There is no fee to attend the Pride Fest or watch the Parade. A voluntary donation is requested at the entry gates to Pride Fest. This donation goes back to community sup- port programs. Is there an age limit for entry into Chicago Pride? The Pride Fest and Parade are open to people of all ages. Where can I stay near Pride events? Hundreds of thousands of people from out- side Chicago come to the city for Pride each year. Find information on local lodging. Where can I find parking? To ease the parking and traffic congestion around the Chicago Pride Parade route, we have teamed up with Parking Panda, the nationwide leader in online parking reservations. Locations within easy walking distance to the parade route are extremely limited and expected to sell out so we recommend that purchase your Chicago Pride Parade parking passes now! Apart from Pride, Chicago is also known for its world-class public transportation system, so please consider familiarizing yourself with the CTA (for transportation within the city) and with METRA and Pace (for transportation from the suburbs into the city). To find routes from anywhere in the Chicagoland area to Pride Fest and the Parade visit transitchicago.com. Are pets allowed? Yes, pets are allowed, including, of course, service animals assisting people with acces- sibility needs. We do, however, strongly rec- ommend leaving pets at home since both the Parade and Festival are noisy, crowded, and hot. Pets can sometimes be very startled by the crowds and sounds of Pride. In busy areas, it may be difficult to navigate with pets who will be walking on the ground given the high number of stomping feet moving through the crowd. CHICAGOPRIDE.GOPRIDE.COM/
PIZZAZZ Hair Salon for Men & Women 708.386.1032 1138 Chicago Ave. Oak Park, IL 60302 By Appointment Tues-Sat Gift Certificates Available 20% off your first visit when you mention this ad! Take Pride in You! Dr. Cheryl Haugh, DCm MEd and Associates Chiropractic Massage therapy Nutritional counseling Rehabilitation Homeopathy Psychological counseling (708) 848-9900 831 S. Oak Park Ave. Oak Park, IL We provide natural healthcare treatments that facilitate pain relief and support long-term wellness. PRIDE 2014 A12 June 19, 2014 B y D E B Q U A N T O C K M C C A R E Y Contributing Reporter In 1989, at a political coffee organized to question local candidates in Oak Park about their stand on gay and lesbian issues, Mel Wilson and Nathan Linsk started something big in their small apartment on Humphrey Avenue in Oak Park. Back then, as the lead co-founders of the Oak Park Area Gay and Lesbian Association (OPALGA), Wilson, now 71, and Linsk, 65, strategically recruited a small group of gay and lesbian activists who would be unafraid to stand up and speak out in Oak Park for gay rights. Now as the group marks its 25th anniversa- ry it is both celebrating real accomplishments and assessing its future in a changed world. Brian Findley decided we should send a questionnaire to the candidates on what their concerns were regarding HIV, other gay rights issues, and particularly on adding nondiscriminatory language to the villages Human Rights statement, says Linsk, a retired University of Illinois professor. Back when we started OPALGA, gay and lesbian people were very often invisible and OPALGA was the only real connection point, initially. A quarter of a century later what has evolved is one of the largest community- based, multi-purpose lesbian and gay mem- bership organizations in Illinois. Oak Park was not a difficult field to plow, says Jim Kelly, another co-founder, as is his partner of 26 years, and soon-to-be husband, Bruce Broerman. All we had to do was remind Oak Park of the ideals it had and shift the focus to adding sexual orientation to the villages diversity statement, which hap- pened without much fanfare at all. Early on, that happened, and much more. OPALGA succeeded in having the Village of Oak Parks Human Rights Ordinance amend- ed to bar discrimination-based on sexual ori- entation in employment (by village and vil- lage contractors), as well as in housing and public accommodations. The group also pro- posed and supported the village government in extending Domestic Partnership Benefits to same-sex partners of village employees. OPALGA successfully convinced the vil- lage board to pass the Domestic Partnership Registry for same sex couples in Oak Park, in spite of pushback, Kelly recalls. After the registry was established by the village government, opposition led by Calvary Church gathered enough signatures to place a non-binding referendum on the ballot to rescind the registry. The referen- dum was narrowly defeated. At the time, Calvary Church put a nonbinding ref- erendum on the ballot to repeal it, but we squeaked by, says Kelly. Now, it has become such second nature for gays and lesbians who live in Oak Park to be involved in Oak Park, as it should be for any citizen. Coming of age or aging out Even so, in recent years fewer 20 and 30 year olds have been joining this iconic social and political activist group. In part, says Broerman, its membership chair, the aging roster may be related to recent strides, including social gains, and the legalization of gay marriage. Another fac- tor, he adds, is the reality of people juggling issues of work and family. Yet, their monthly newcomer networking potlucks are still well attended by people of all ages who are interested in that kind of social activity. I am sure that many people perceive the organization now as a why do we need it, and I guess my answer to that is that we still do serve a purpose, Broerman says. Oak Parkers Charlie Yingling, 36, and his husband joined OPALGA in 2005 to extend their social reach here. I enjoy that we as a community have an organization that gives a face to the LGBTs in Oak Park [because] even though Oak Park is an extremely progressive and welcoming place, there are times in our situations when the voice of LGBT people needs to be heard collec- tively, and I believe in having that shared iden- tity, says the former board member. When the marriage bill was put before the legislature last year, OPALGA chartered a bus so members could go to Springfield and lobby lawmakers, which was a lot of fun. Perhaps now the new face of LGBTs in Oak Park are young families, and in the future, why cant OPALGA become a resource for that demographic? OPALGAs co-chair Colette Lueck, also an Oak Park village trustee, notes the group is now focusing on being a social outlet, as well as a grant making organization that raises funds for small nonprofits that provide direct services to the LGBTQ community. Another new focus for the group has been the establishment of its scholarship fund for LGBTQ students; children of LGBTQ parents; and allies of the LGBTQ community inter- ested in furthering their education. I am very invested in the scholarship pro- gram [because] it is unique and important and the grants go to kids who would not oth- erwise be getting scholarships says Lueck, adding that the best party in town is still the annual Opal Gala banquet, which is set for Oct. 25 in commemoration of the groups 25th anniversary. For co-founders Linsk and Wilson, there are memories of genuine accomplishment all preserved for posterity in binders. But it is still in the looking forward that they see purpose, knowing that despite much progress in Oak Park and the broad society, that being an LGBTQ still holds challenges. OPALGA has enabled people to take their first baby steps out into clear air without fear, says Wilson. Until there is a point in time reached where gay people can grow into adulthood and be encouraged to function in a community responsibly and be freely given responsibilities -- there will be a need for some kind of structured organization that can carry on and help kids understand that there is something to look forward to and the reign of hell that is adolescence will be over, and there will be a time in their lives when they will be happy, have friends, possibly be married with children, and that the world will be good to them. Somebody has to do that. OPALGA at 25. Looking back and ahead DAVID PIERINI/Staff Photographer Colette Lueck, co-chair of OPALGA and an Oak Park village trustee, appreciates the groups focus on its scholarship program. Until there is a point in time reached where gay people can grow into adult- hood and be encouraged to function in a community responsibly and be freely given responsibilities there will be a need for some kind of structured organization. Mel Wilson OPALGA co-founder PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A13 At New Yor k Li f e we cel ebr at e di v er s i t y, equal i t y, and di gni t y f or al l peopl e and s uppor t al l t hat y ou do t o keep good goi ng i n t he communi t y. For i nf or mat i on, v i s i t newy or kl i f e. com/ l gbt . 2013 New York Life Insurance Company, 51 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10010. Keep Good Going is a registered trademark of New York Life Insurance Company, all rights reserved. SMRU513248CV (Exp. 07.30.2015) Therese Zachata Agent, New York Life Insurance Company 1515 N. Harlem Ave., Suite 205-9 Oak Park, IL 60302 (630) 254-6979 tazachata@ft.newyorklife.com www.newyorklife.com/agent/ tazachata PRIDE 2014 A14 June 19, 2014 The Oak Park Residence Corporation markets over 500 apartments in 23 distinctive buildings through- out beautiful Oak Park, Illinois. Our updated vintage style living offer modern amenities while retaining classic Oak Park architectural features. www. oakparkrc.com 21 South Boulevard, Oak Park, Illinois 60302 Cl as s i c distinct MODERN lifestyle Historical vintage Prairie State Animal Hospital Providing Loving Care For Your Pets For 25+Years 909 S. Oak Park Avenue, Oak Park, IL 708. 524. 9720 welcoming Dr. Kathleen Kelly our new associate veterinarian WednesdayJournal Breaking News I t ' s l i k e pus hi ng a but t on. Get l oc a l , c ommuni t y news . . . Real. News. now! Joi n the communi ty today at OakPark. com Local. Community. PRIDE 2014 June 19, 2014 A15 B y T O M H O L M E S Contributing Reporter G y and Sylvia Menninga grew up around Pella, Iowa. It is a Dutch community and a stronghold of the very conser- vative Christian Reformed Church. At every meal the Bible was read and Sylvia recalls being comforted with the thought that God would take care of me. But her faith also had a different side. The fear of God far outbalanced Gods love. My behavior was motivated by the fear that God would not approve of me, she said. And decades later, after Gy and Sylvia mar- ried, quickly had four children, one of them gay, that fundamental matter of Gods approval, of Gods approval of a gay son, helped lead the couple on a decades long evolution of their faith, of their understanding of God to them. Today they live in Oak Park, are active members of First United Church, and Sylvia was a founder of the local chapter of PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians. And this weekend they are likely to march once again in Chicagos Pride Parade. Walking in the pride parade every year is one of the most wonderful thingswedo. Itsjustamazingandwon- derful, because the kids out there are just hungryforparentstoaccept them. They just want to hold your hand, to touch you. Its totallyexhaustingandtotallyexhilarating. That their second child, Gysbert Menninga III, or just Bert, was gay was not a profound surprise even back in the 1970s. From early on we didnt think he was a normal boy, Sylvia remembered with a laugh. He had very effeminate interests. He liked to dress up in girls clothes and liked dolls. He would sit on womens laps and say, I just love your lipstick. We were worried about him to the point of talking with each other about taking him to a psychiatrist. But Gy and Sylvia decided to do nothing, because their son seemed to be handling who he was very well. He was always very self- confident, said Sylvia. He came out to us while he was still in high school which, in the 1970s, was quite early. He never seemed to have any problems with the way he was. He was just who he was. Gy described their son as always having a powerful feeling of self-worth. Berts aha moment came while reading Rita Mae Browns semi-autobiographical and explicit coming out novel Ruby Fruit Jungle published in 1973. When I read that book, Bert told his parents, I said thats me. I know who I am now. When he went to the University of Illinois at Champagne, he met a Presbyterian chaplain who had a gay group and found friends there. Now 53, Bert was married in 2000 and lives in Sweden with his husband. Although Bert later acknowledged to Gy and Sylvia that the coming out process was more difficult than it had appeared to them at the time, Berts parents freely admitted that the road from Iowa to the gay pride parade was not that easy for them either. We gradually began to look at our religion quite differently, Sylvia said with an empha- sis on the word gradually. It was the same God but we were beginning to view that God through different lenses. The first step was their decision to join a Presbyterian church while they were living in Highland Park in the 1980s. It was a big step for us and very disturbing to our parents, Sylvia recalled, even though it was still a pretty conservative church. Then when they moved to Burlington, Vermont for a short time, they went to a Presbyterian church that referred to itself as being More Light, an association of Presbyterians whose mission actively welcomed the full spectrum of the GLBT community. It was just amazing, said Sylvia. I didnt know there was something like this very liberal little campus church in Burlington. They were just wonderful. Then, following Gys work assign- ments, the Menningas moved to Boulder, Colorado where they worshiped with a United Church of Christ congregation which was Open and Affirming, a category similar to More Light in the Presbyterian Church. What was especially attractive about that church, said Gy, was that the pastor there had a gay son. It took a long time, said Sylvia. Just joining the Presbyterian church in Highland Park was a big step. A member there was a wonderful woman named Betty Werrenrath. Her father had been a liberal Presbyterian minister, and she had her theology down. She got me reading the Christian Century, and gave me a copy of J.B. Phillips Your God is Too Small. She also gave me my first taste of social action, of getting out there and doing some of the work that Christ wants us to do. In Vermont Sylvia continued to partici- pate in social action by volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House there. The pastor in Boulder helped them interpret Scripture in a way that did not throw the baby out with the bath water when he said, I take the Bible seriously. I dont take it literally. She said what taking the Bible seriously but not literally means to her by sharing a pam- phlet she received from the Shem Center in Oak Park. On the cover it states, What Jesus Said About Homosexuality. When you open the pamphlet the pages are blank. She said, If you read the Bible at all, what keeps coming up is that God cares about the poor, about widows and orphans and the hungry. We hear that all the time from the prophets, and Jesus was very, very concerned about this. I dont know how you can miss that. There are maybe half a dozen anti-gay verses at the very most. Theres no possible comparison to the number of verses about worship of money and care of the poor. Its not worth fussing and fighting about. Although the Menningas spiritual journey involved moving away from the Christian Reformed tradition, Gy hastened to empha- size, There were certainly some positive things about our growing up there. My par- ents very much cared for the poor people in the community. We had a couple of widows who lived in our area, and my parents sort of looked after them. There were a couple gay guyspeople referred to them as bachelors- -that my father looked after. They never talk- ed about them being gay, but Im convinced that my father knew they were. One of the reasons why we are so caring about the food pantry and are involved in the CROP Walk is that we were taught that when we were kids. The Christian Reformed Church does a lot of that, even though their theology is very conservative. I mean theyre wonderful people. Its a wonderful community to live in. Gy summed up their spiritual journey by saying, The church has always been impor- tant to us, and First United here in Oak Park has been important to us as well. The congre- gation is a strong part of our social connec- tions in addition to the theological thing. Sylvia agreed. The spiritual life at First United keeps us centered. We feel like weve finally found the perfect church [because of its balance of spirituality and social action]. What has been remarkable to Gy and Sylvia is that they havent caught a lot of flak about Bert from their relatives in Pella. Part of the reason is that they have broached the subject with them very carefully, one family at a time. Regarding Bert and our extended family in Pella, we have one big thing on our side, Sylvia said. Bert is very popular with them. He was loved by aunts and uncles. His girl cousins still go crazy over him. He was always accepted, and Im sure that it was apparent to many that this kid is quite different. He was/ is a very appealing person. Hes delightful to talk to and has great stories to tell. Hes a great singer, an excellent pianist and a writer. Hes one of our most interesting kids. Sylvia summed up their experience of hav- ing a gay son by saying that she and Gy have grown because of sharing their sons life. Its a positive, wonderful thing in our lives. It has made us understand the need to be tolerant of other people. Its broadened our horizons immensely and introduced us to so many wonderful people. An evolving faith as a son comes out Same God, viewed through different lenses The fear of God far outbalanced Gods love. My behavior was motivated by the fear that God would not approve of me, Sylvia Menninga Mother Courtesy Gysberg Menninga FAMILY: left to right are: Francisco Ballesteros, Bert Menninga, Gy Menninga and Sylvia Menninga. PRIDE 2014 A16 June 19, 2014 Celebrating 25 years. GALA October 25th, 2014 at Nineteenth Century Womens Club Watch our website and facebook for upcoming ticket information A Community Of Pride 25 Years of Pride & Progress For 25 years, the Oak Park Area Lesbian and Gay Association (OPALGA) has worked to make our area a place we all can be proud to call home. We do this by: Fostering positive attitudes and advocating for full equality for the LGBT community Promoting institutional change in both the private and public sectors Providing educational, social and cultural opportunities for LGBT individuals Celebrating the contributions the organization and its members make to the community. To help keep the Oak Park area a place we all can be proud to call home, join us today! www.opalga.org email: info@opalga.org A Community Of Pride Oak Park Area Lesbian and Gay Association visit us on Facebook or www.opalga.org