LISTEN

Chapter One: One Night

Ladies and Gentlemen, here is CN to the Blues song, In My Head,for all of you Boic
es out there! Sounds like our boys are singing specifically to you. Enjoy! echoed
the DJ from the small radio in Seohyuns room.
The music came blasting through the speakers as Seohyun searched her bag for the
book she was reading. She hummed along to her ex-husbands band unknowingly until
she finally found what she was looking for. How to Lead with Both the Mind and
Heart.
She turned off the radio mid-song, sat back on her bed, and cracked the book ope
n to the page she had left off. If she was lucky, shed probably finish the entire
thing by that night.
And she wouldve, had Hyoyeon not burst into the room some minutes later.
Whats going on in here, Maknae? the girl asked enthusiastically. I heard Yong seoban
g just now.
It was just the radio, Unnie, Seohyun responded distractedly, turning a page of he
r book.
Whats this? Hyoyeon yanked the book from Seohyuns grasp and read the cover.
Unnie, hand it back!
Oh, this must be the party room, said someone from the doorway. Both Seohyun and H
yoyeon looked up and saw Sooyoung.
Dae, what are you doing tonight?
Nothing. No one else is getting in until late, so Ill probably sit in my room all
night eating four helpings of ramen, and wondering when the hell Im going to get
a boyfriend, replied Sooyoung. Not like our maknae here. Did I just hear In My Hea
d floating down the hallway?
Hyoyeon laughed and handed Seohyun back the book. Seohyun pouted. I dont have a bo
yfriend, Unnie.
Well you would if youd call up Yonghwa and tell him that you miss him and that your
e ready to give him your entire heart, Hyoyeon teased, and Sooyoung squealed hyst
erically.
Seohyun knew where this was going, when Yonghwa was involved. If her unnies had
plenty to tease her about before she went on the show, they had a plethora of th
ings to tease her about now. They had some weird fascination with her and Jung Y
onghwas fake marriage, insisting that even though they knew that it was just a sh
owone of the many they all participated inthey couldnt help to see how much she rea
lly liked him. For almost a year she had been trying to convince them otherwise,
but when they clung to something, they clung to it hard.
What are you talking about? Ah, seriously.
Were very serious. Besides, its not a secret that WGM almost had a real life scanda
l with innocent Seohyun. I cant believe its you out of all of us who get to fall i
n love first.

For the last time, that was over a year ago, Seohyun whined. And for the last time,
I feel nothing for him.
Oh, really? Hyoyeon crossed her arms and cocked her hip. Then why did you cry and m
ope for two whole days after breaking up with him? Why did you fling yourself at
your phone every time it buzzed for three months straight afterwards?
Sooyoung flopped onto her stomach next to Seohyun. Yeah, Hyunnie, explain yoursel
f.
Seohyun huffed. I thought I had feelings for him, but time passed, and I realized
I never did. And we didnt break up. It was just the end of the show.
I dont get it, said Sooyoung. You got to date. With one of the cutest, funniest guys
we know. In public! Were your unnies! We know stuff about you that even you dont
know!
She didnt want to talk about it with them, or anyone. The past was past. Jung Yon
ghwa didnt care for her like that, and she needed to focus on her career. He had
probably moved on to some other girl whom he didnt have to coach on being the per
fect girlfriend. A girlfriend who wouldnt ask him stupid, nave questions about the
difference between liking someone and loving someone.
I have an idea. Lets all go out and invite the CN Blue boys along. If our maknae i
s going to be dating Yonghwa foreal in the future, we should at least get to kno
w his bandmates more, Hyoyeon suggested excitedly.
Dae! Seohyun, come on. Call up Yonghwa, Sooyoung laughed.
Honestly, Seohyun sighed, attempting to control her thoughts of the past. Im reading
. Thats how I want to spend my night. If you guys want to talk about boys or go p
lay with them, go ahead. Just dont miss curfew.
Seconds later, a phone was waved in front of her face. Hyoyeon stood there defia
nt. Call him. Now.
Annio.
And you wonder why things got awkward between you two. The girl rolled her eyes. Ju
st call him. We have nothing to do tonight and we want to play with boys, and I
cant do another outing with Suju. I just cant.
Please, Hyunnie, Sooyoung pouted at her dongsaeng. They play instruments and write
their own songs. Theyre too young for me, but Ill take it. Just let us be normal f
or once.
Call them yourselves. I dont know their schedule.
Babo, we cant just call them! Hyoyeon sat down and smiled scarily. Just one night.
Seohyun paused. She was trying this new thing of being more flexible with her un
nies and accepting the invitation of having fun. If she was serious about that c
hallenge, she would have to do things like CN Blue on the spur of the moment, de
manding that they all play together for a night.
Fine, she sighed.
I call Jungshin! both Hyoyeun and Sooyoung called out. They glared at each other.

No way! You four got to have a picnic! Sooyoung shouted. I got nothing. Give me Jun
gshin.
Annio, let him decide!
Both girls looked at Seohyun expectantly and said call.

The bathroom was the one place Seohyun could escape to with her phone where her
unnies wouldnt follow her. Why was she stupid enough to agree to something like t
his? Yonghwa was going to think it was too sudden and random, the fact that shed
basically call to ask him and his bandmates out on some sort of group date.

She thought about that last part for a long time and decided that she was wrong.
It wasnt really a group date because none of them were dating each other technic
ally. She knew that her unnies would try to throw her together with Yonghwa when
ever they got the chance, but she did miss seeing him. She missed her friend? No
, that wasnt right. She missed her oppa.
There was a loud rap on the door.
Hyunnie, call him or else were coming in there! shouted Sooyoung.
I will after Im done using the bathroom! she lied.
Seohyun breathed in and out slowly, then put her face into her hands. Ottoke. I c
ant do this.
She didnt know why it was such a big deal. They hadnt
d terms with each other. It had just been a really long
called casually or sent a text. Thats what she really
But wouldnt it seem weird and impersonal? It made more
l quickly. He probably wouldnt answer anyway.

fought, and they werent on ba

time since they had last
wanted to do send a text.
sense to just call and cal

She let out a sigh and hit the call button.

Chapter Two: 1 Missed Call

Yonghwa sipped his coffee, leaning against the kitchen counter as Jonghyun laugh
ed at something on TV. He was in a composing mood, but had extreme writers block.
Or was it composers block? Oh well, it didnt matter anyway. It didnt matter how ex
cited he felt about sitting in front of his equipment trying to create, nothing
was coming to him.
Things used to come much easier to him, when he had been with her during that ti
me. He felt so stupid. He had only gone on the show to get CN Blues name and musi
c out to the public even more and show that he was more than quiet, pining Shin
Woo in Youre Beautiful. He hadnt expected to actually fall for anyone. She had been
some sort of muse, and while every CN Blue song hadnt been written about her, the
feelings and soulfulness he put into composing was inspired by how happy she ma
de him. He missed her, but it had been over for a long time. He was in the early
stages of letting her go. Clearly, she had already done so.
Jonghyun wandered into the kitchen and helped himself to some water. Thought you
were composing all night long.

I am, I will, replied Yonghwa defensively. Cant I come into my own kitchen for some
coffee?
Jungshin, clad in a t-shirt and shorts, wandered into the kitchen and searched t
he fridge.
Just send maknae in to get it, said Jonghyun, which caused Jungshin to look up, hes
clearly not doing anything important for CN Blue.
Leave me alone. Im tired and hungry, and I have to deep condition my hair tonight,
Jungshin frowned. Besides, I can hear you laughing all the way in my room. How mu
ch work are you doing for the band?
Im, Jonghyun tried to think fast, trying to improve my variety skills by doing some
research.
Jungshin and Yonghwa laughed and shoved him playfully.
Weve all been working hard, huh? said Yonghwa thoughtfully. You guys should relax to
night. Ill try coming up with something really good for us to listen to in the mo
rning.
Yonghwas phone began ringing.
He reached into his pocket wondering who it could be at this time of night. The
last person he expected was Seohyun. Her smiling face, a 2 year old picture that
he had taken of her during the We Got Married filming, stared back at him from th
e phone.
Who is it? asked Jonghyun, peaking over Yonghwas shoulder.
Its Seohyun, Yonghwa said quietly, as if he had just received a death sentence and
didnt know which feeling to express first.
What? Jungshin came from behind. Why is she calling?
If I knew that, Id be answering the phone.
Why arent you answering it?
Because He had no clue why. His heart was pounding, and he felt anxious. His ringt
one echoed throughout the room, and her face continued to illuminate his phone.
Hyung, seriously, answer it. Jonghyun nudged him lightly.
But it was too late. The call ended and the phone went back to original screensa
ver with a new message. 1 missed call.
The three CN Blue boys continued to stare at the phone as if it would do somethi
ng extraordinary again any minute.
Aigoo, this is boring. You shouldve answered it, said Jungshin after awhile before
leaving the kitchen.
Yonghwa looked up at Jonghyun. Jonghyun was younger than him, but he knew hed get
a straightforward answer from him.
She probably just called on accident right? I mean, its happened before.

Jonghyun shrugged. Yonghwa tried to read his expression, but it was very seldom
that Jonghyun looked anything but mischievous, irritated, or tired. Guess well nev
er know.
The boy went back into the living room and shut off the TV, leaving Yonghwa alon
e in the kitchen. Yonghwa went back to drinking his coffee.
Sometime later, he was sitting back in his room, staring through his equipment.
If he was unable to focus before, he was really unable to get anything done now.
Why had he been too afraid to answer her call? What really stopped him? A dull
part of his brain tried to convince him that he was trying to get over her and w
hatever she had to say was unimportant, but a large part of his brain was tellin
g him he was a coward. He couldnt answer the phone because he would be at a loss
of what to say, and maybe hed say something stupid. Maybe hed feel stupid if the c
all had been an accident.
Yonghwa didnt like being a coward in any situation. His dongsaengs would never ta
ke him seriously now. He flexed his muscle, reminding himself that he was a man
and reclaimed his phone.
1 missed call.
He breathed in and out, then hit the call button.
Seohyun picked up on the second ring.
Yoboseyo? her quiet, slow voice came through the phone.
Hyun, said Yonghwa, forgetting the fact that he probably shouldnt call her that any
more. You called.
Dae! Thank you for calling me back, her voice became more cheerful, but she seemed
to be trying to keep quiet. Maybe her unnies were in the room or maybe she was
hiding from them.
Is everything ok? he asked. Surely she hadnt called to talk.
Dae, Dae. Yong oppa, whats your schedule like tomorrow?
Hearing the words Yong oppa come out of her mouth thrilled him. He missed her call
ing him that. He missed her calling him anything for that matter. It was good to
know she still felt comfortable with him. Maybe she wanted to remain close with
him afterall.
Nothing. We just got home. I was going to record some music, he told her coolly.
Oh, so youre busy. Ok.
Annio! he practically shouted, and the coolness evaporated. I mean, Im free. How abo
ut you? Whats your schedule like tomorrow?
Nothing for the first half of the day. Yong Oppa, Hyoyeon unnie and Sooyoung unni
e have a request. They want to meet with you guys tonight, maybe eat something g
ood. Would you be willing?
Hyoyeon unnie and Sooyoung unnie? Since when did they care anything about him an
d his band members? Yonghwa was thoroughly puzzled.
Is it just your unnies, or will you come too? I havent seen you in a long time.

Dae, Im coming too. I miss everyone, and Unnies dont know them very well.
Somehow, that was all he needed to hear. Ok, Ill come pick you up. Give me a half
hour.
Dae.
.........................................................
Yonghwa couldnt contain his excitement. Why did she have to sound so cute on the
phone? It was cool that she made the first move to call him and even cooler that
she had called to spend time with him. The situation was strange no doubt, with
Sooyoung and Hyoyeon coming along with Jonghyun, Minhyuk, and Jungshin, but hed
take it. Just as long as she wanted to see him.
So much for that trying to let go thing.
He searched in all the rooms until he found everyone hanging out in Jungshins roo
m. It was no surprise that they had all powwowed to make fun of him over ignorin
g her call.
Jungshin was in the middle of a deep voiced dance rendition of SNSDs The Boys, one
arm flung out in front of him, and the other propped up on his head.
Girls Generation make you feel thehyung! Jungshin was caught in the act when Yonghwa
walked through the door, which caused Jonghyun and Minhyuk to collapse into a p
ile of laugher on the bed.
By all means, Jungshin, dont stop now that Im here, said Yonghwa. Continue performing
and then you can all get ready.
For what?
Seohyun wants to see you guys, and a couple of her unnies do too. Yonghwa tried to
say coolly and uncaring. He tried to read their expressions.
What? responded Jonghyun.
You heard me. Get ready. Were going to hang out for a little while, maybe get some
thing to eat.
Hyung, we cant just hang outwith SNSD, said Minhyuk, who looked as shocked as ever.
Why not? Some of us have before. And its not all of them, just Sooyoung and Hyoyeo
n.
That was for a TV show, and that was only you and Jungshin. We cant just freely pi
ck them up at their apartment and freely go to Minhyuks fathers restaurant to get
something to eat, Jonghyun was incredulous. Wed be on the front page of the newspap
er by tomorrow morning.
Thats a good idea actually, replied Jungshin. We can go to Minhyuks fathers place. Sur
ely hed shut down the restaurant for SNSD. Then we could eat in private.
Yonghwa nodded in agreement.
Seriously? Hyung, is this a joke? asked Minhyuk.
Why are you guys acting like this? Were famous too. Its harmless. They want to hang
out with us, and I told Hyun Id be there in a half hour.

Oh, so now its Hyun again, Jonghyun mumbled to Minhyuk.

Its always been Hyun, Yonghwa smiled widely at Jonghyun to spite the boy. Now be rea
dy in ten minutes. Im taking the van.
Chapter 3: The Plan
When Yonghwa didnt answer the phone, Seohyun felt relieved but sad at the same t
ime.
There was always the excuse that he had a late schedule and wasnt able to pick up
the call. But there was also the chance that he simply wanted to ignore her or
answering would be too awkward for him. He was so popular these days, and the at
tachment to Yongseo often seemed like a burden for him. It was easier for her, t
o handle the jokes and the questions, but he was a man. Surely he wanted to be f
ree of ties to any girl holding him back, especially if he had someone else in h
is life.
She still had the bear. And the guitar. And the letters, gifts, pictures, and me
mories. But she seldom touched them or looked at them anymore. Whenever she did,
she felt sad and confused. She remembered the cameras in her face, the nervousn
ess that came with standing next to him, hoping she wouldnt say or do something s
tupid, and feelings that she couldnt explain during a moment shared between them.
And shed take that feeling home with her and grin over it for hours. He wasnt rea
lly the problem. She was who had probably made it more than it was. Considering
all of this, she decided in the end that it was good that he didnt answer the pho
ne, that they didnt open back up that can of worms.
And then he called back.
The instant Seohyun heard his voice, she knew that they were alright. It was ref
reshing to hear him say Hyun, and memories came rushing back of her choding husban
d. They were still close, and it made her happy to know.
He said hed pick her up soon, and when they hung up, she couldnt help but to smile
. But she promised herself not to open up too much. What they had hadnt been real
. She had to remind herself of that if she was going to survive this little play
date. She took a breath and controlled her emotions for the sake of clarity.
Sooyoung and Hyoyeon were waiting impatiently by the bathroom door when she came
out.
So? they asked at the same time.
He said theyll be here in a half hour to get us.
Wow, thats not nearly enough time to get ready, Sooyoung mused. Oh well, the importa
nt thing is what Hyunnie will wear.
Ill just throw on something and do my hair, said Seohyun thoughtfully.
Throw on? Youre going to go see your ex-husband wearing something thrown on? Sooyou
ng teased.
Seohyun laughed. You make it sound so real, Unnie.
Treat it like it is. Let him know what hes missing, she winked, heading toward her
room. Hyoyeon dragged her back into their own room and began to look through her
closet.

Annio, annio, too childish, too dressy, annio, the girl mumbled to herself as Seoh
yun waited.
Unnie, I can pick my own clothes.
Nonsense. Where is that little leather jacket you bought awhile ago?
Its in there, in the black section. But isnt that too much?
Why would it be too much? You look good in it.
Seohyun sighed. She did want to look pretty and show him that she matured, but s
he didnt want to give anyone the wrong idea.
Unnie, this isnt a date ok. Were spending time as friends, nothing else. Please dont
embarrass me tonight.
Hyoyeon spun around, wearing a smirk. Me? When do I ever embarrass you? Huh?
Unnie, seriously! Seohyun fell backwards onto the bed and whined.
Wah, Wah! Stop moping and put this on, Hyoyeon ordered, tossing the cute leather j
acket at her.

The van rattled as Yonghwa ran over a pothole pulling off of the highway. The cl
oser he got to Seohyuns apartment building, the more he anticipated it.
So whats the plan, Hyung? asked Minhyuk.
Well probably just go out to eat and then come back home.
We meant about Seohyun, said Jungshin quietly.
Yonghwa looked in the rearview mirror at them. There is no plan. I just want to s
ee her, as a friend.
Hyung, were just a little worried about you. After the show ended, Minhyuk treaded
carefully, you had a really difficult time. And when she answered no on that show
Ill be ok. Like I said, were all meeting as friends. Dont worry about anything.
He knew his dongsaengs meant well, more than well, but did they have to bring th
at up? It was still a sore spot with him. Here he was on a broadcast, shouting a
t the top of his lungs that he loved her, but all she could do was hold up an X
when asked about her feelings. He had tried to play it cool, giving the situatio
n excuses that made him feel better, but one day, he couldnt anymore, and it was
like one of his scenes out of CN Blues first music video Im A Loner.
Eventually he had faced it and gotten over it, but he hated remembering it. And
what he had thought about her at the time.
Just know that we have your back, even if you dont need it, said Jonghyun.
Yonghwa laughed. Lets see how much you have my back once pretty girls are around.
Speaking of which, please dont make everything awkward. Talk, be funny, be nice.
They can be kind of intense.

The van pulled in front of the familiar apartment building and Yonghwa sent a te
xt saying that he was parked downstairs. After about five minutes, he saw them i
n the atrium.
Here they come. Be gentlemen, ordered Yonghwa, but Jonghyun and Minhyuk were alrea
dy acting giddy.
Only two girls emerged from the building in sunglasses, cute casual outfits, and
heels. He tried to angle his head to see if Seohyun was coming, but he didnt see
her. His excitement died.
The two girls knocked on the door, and Minhyuk opened it. Greetings and quick in
troductions were exchanged, and Minhyuk moved to the back of the van, his eye sm
ile in full throttle. Rather than following suit, Jungshin remained in his seat.
Yonghwa was about to scold him until he saw Hyoyeon climb over Jungshin to sit
on his left. He ended up sandwiched between both girls, and couldnt help but grin
about his luck.
Lastly, Jonghyun abandoned the front seat and moved to sit in the back with Minh
yuk. He was wearing a wide smirk, the one he reserved for when he felt embarrass
ed.
Seohyuns coming down. Just wait awhile, Hyoyeon answered his prayer.
Ok, lets cut to the chase, Sooyoung leaned forward in her seat toward Yonghwa. Do yo
u still have feelings for our Seohyun?
Yonghwa was caught off guard and couldnt bring himself to respond to her forwardn
ess. But there was no need because she and Hyoyeon seemed satisfied by his gapin
g, nervous expression.
Just what we thought. So listen up, we need you to convince her that shes still in
love with you, explained Hyoyeon seriously.
What? Why? he found his voice again. If she doesnt like me, then shes doesnt like me.
Besides, Im not her type.
Youre the one who gave her a type, Babo. Weve known that girl half of her life, and
all 8 of us members have seen changes in her we never imagined. She still think
s about you, a lot, but she wont ever say whats on her mind. Sometimes she gets re
ally sad, but shes become good at pretending lately.
Were hoping that you can rekindle something in her. You two are too perfect to let
it fall apart. Sooyoung added.
Even if I do, what does it matter? Shell never accept me, Yonghwa insisted. Itd mess
up her image if we were ever caught. And maybe even the bands.
Thats true it would. But she cant be the innocent maknae forever.
If youre worried about losing fans and causing a scandal, I understand, but we can
handle that. We do it regularly. Not for us sadly, Hyoyeon frowned at Jungshin, b
ut for the other members. If SNSD can get around scandals, cant CN Blue?
Good question, said Jonghyun from the back. Yonghwa forgot that his dongsaengs wer
e even present for this conversation.
There was a rap on the van window, and they all jumped. It was Seohyun.
Tonights your one chance, said Hyoyeon lastly.

Sooyoung popped open the door and told the girl to sit in the front.
When she opened the passenger door, Yonghwas throat went dry at the mere sight of
her. Before he could stop himself, he smiled widely. She was in tight skinny je
ans, a cute mini leather jacket he had seen before in pictures, and her black ha
ir was long and bone straight. She looked like his stylish rockstar girlfriend w
ho was waiting backstage at one of his shows.
She met timid eyes with him and bowed slightly. How many times had he clung to t
he image of her eyes?
Annyeonghaseyo! they both said to each other as she climbed in.
Hyun, he said cheerfully. Its been a long time.
Dae, it has, she smiled at him easily.
His CN Blue brothers echoed the sentiments, and she turned and greeted them happ
ily.
He drummed on the steering wheel happily. This was going to be a good night. Hed
certainly take on the challenge of expressing his feelings to her. They werent st
arting from scratch this time.

So here they were, Seohyun thought. After several months, back in each others pre
sence. Free to talk, to laugh, to be friends. It felt good but worrying.
Mianne, said Seohyun, running her hand through her hair. I know its short notice, an
d you probably all wouldve liked to stay home and rest.
Annio! said Jungshin. Were happy you called. Home was uneventful.
She clicked her seatbelt on and turned back again. Sooyoung and Hyoyeon had posi
tion themselves on either side of Jungshin, who looked clueless as to what they
were up to. Jonghyun and Minhyuk, buried deep in the back of the van, waved to h
er. She felt sorry almost immediately.
She had only met the CN Blue boys a handful of times, and she liked them a lot.
They had a feeling of warmth and friendship, but she couldnt help to worry about
Sooyoung and Hyoyeons presence. Would things be even more awkward with them joini
ng? This had the potential to be an interesting night.
Ok, none of this awkward stuff, said Hyoyeon as if she had read Seohyuns mind, lean
ing forward and popping a CD into the player.
Unnie, put on your seatbelt, Seohyun scolded innocently. She glanced over at Yongh
wa, who grinned at her and pointed out with his finger that he was already strap
ped in.
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I made a CD that we could all enjoy. Jungshin-ah, you like Ma
roon 5, right?
Dae, we all like Maroon 5, said Jungshin.
Seohyun realized she was stuck in a van with two of her most intimidating unnies
, three shy ex-brother-in-laws, and what felt like an ex-boyfriend rather than a
husband. She knew things would seem weird, but nothing had prepared her for tha

t feeling of seeing her oppa again. Her stomach flipped so wildly when she had o
pened the passengers door to the van and saw Yonghwa in the drivers seat. When he
had smiled, it went even crazier. These days, she didnt even have that reaction p
erforming on stage. How could she bare to look at him all through dinner?
Misery began to play. And thats what Seohyun began to feel like as the van rolled a
way from their dorm.
Chapter 4: Seatbelt Shuffle

So where are we going? asked Sooyoung as Yonghwa ran over yet another pothole. How
had his driving skills gotten so rusty and why did it have to show so much duri
ng this one outing?
Minhyuk, all the way from the backseat, was the first to speak. My fathers restaur
ant.
Oh, wow, your father owns a restaurant? Sooyoung turned all the way around in her
seat to face him in fascination.
Dae. Hes closing down early so we can go and eat freely.
Wah, cool!
Well eat very well tonight, Minhyuk replied confidently.
Yonghwa grinned to himself over Minhyuk. Just over a half hour ago, Minhyuk was
complaining that it would be impossible to do, and now he was trying to show off
. Still, he had to hand it to the boy. The girls were making an effort to make t
hings comfortable with his members, who had warmed to them as well. The only one
s not talking were Seohyun and himself. He wanted to, and it wasnt like him to ke
ep quiet for long, but after Hyoyeon and Sooyoungs confrontation, he felt like hi
s every move was being watched by everyone in the van.
Im already anticipating it. But it wont be too fun with Hyunnie coming, Sooyoung pou
ted. Shell monitor everything I put into my mouth.
Yonghwa glanced over at Seohyun to see her reaction. She looked hurt for a few s
econds before responding with a half-hearted Unnie!
Hyoyeon and Sooyoung chuckled. Yonghwa knew they were being funny, but he didnt f
eel like laughing.
Seohyun, said Yonghwa loudly, Will you choose something healthy for me to eat at th
e restaurant? I havent been eating very well.
Seohyun smiled timidly at him. Dae. Of course. Do you still drink coffee?
Yes! He does everyday, shouted Jungshin.
Oppa Yonghwa was expecting her to begin lecturing him, but Seohyun trailed off and
looked out the window.
The van fell silent again. A familiar melody came through the speakers, a melody
that oddly made Yonghwa want to dance, and that just didnt happen on a regular b
asis. It was Party Rock by LMFAO. Even ahjummahs knew that song.
Oh, I love this song! Turn it up! cheered Hyoyeon.

Yonghwa turned up the volume, and the pop lyrics that none of them could underst
and blasted from the speakers. Hyoyeon began to dance wildly. Sooyoung joined he
r, then Jungshin smiled and began mumbling along, wiggling around. Yonghwa had t
o hand it to Jungshin. No matter what situation he was thrown in, the boy went w
ith the flow.
Pretty soon Minhyuk and Jonghyun had joined in in their own little way, Minhyuk
drumming with his hands on the seat and Jonghyun nodding his head. When the shuf
fle music break came on, the van went wild together, moving in their seats and l
aughing.
Yonghwa focused on driving, and Seohyun remained shy.
Seohyun, can you shuffle? he asked.
Annio.
Come on, show me. Show me the seatbelt shuffle. Its the coolest dance, right?
Annio, she laughed.
Come on! One, two, three, go!
On his count, she did a little wiggle, pumping her arms. It lasted all for 10 se
conds before she collapsed into laughter, her long hair swinging forward to cove
r up her blushing face. It made her look beautiful.
And thats how you do it? he smiled widely at her.
Thats how you do it, she confirmed with a cute nod before giggling again.
Definitely the coolest dance in the car. Even cooler than Hyoyeons, he shouted over
the music.
Ha! Maknae wishes, Hyoyeon stuck out her tongue.
A couple of other songs came on after that, but a conversation had begun about s
chedules, performances, tips for certain TV shows, station broadcasting protocol
. It was clear that all of them were exhausted by their work, most of them were
lacking in health except Seohyun, and all of them had mishaps over foreign food
while touring in other countries. By the time they had reached the restaurant, t
hey had talked themselves into malnourishment and couldnt wait to devour anything
set in front of them.
Wait, we cant just walk in together right? asked Minhyuk.
Maybe we should circle around the block a couple of times and see if we notice an
y hidden paparazzi, suggested Hyoyeon.
Maybe we should drop off the girls first, then well come about 15 minutes later, su
ggested Jonghyun.
Annio, Minhyuk should go first. He can go in without looking suspicious. Then he
can call us and let us know its safe, said Sooyoung.
Yonghwa looked at Seohyun. What do you think?
She thought for a moment before responding. Circle around once, drop all the CN B
lue boys off first, and then Ill drive and wait for the call. Once oppa calls, th

en I can park, and we can go in quickly. Maybe through the back way?
Everyone was quiet while they thought over the plan until Yonghwa finally said Yo
ure a genius.
.
Seohyun didnt feel like a genius, but she wanted her plan to work. So far, the at
mosphere was good between everyone, even if she and Yonghwa were barely speaking
. Eventually he had initiated talk between them, but it had taken him longer tha
n she expected. Still, she wanted to renew their friendship. She wanted to share
a meal with him once again and get back to being comfortable with the first guy
she was ever close to. That seatbelt shuffle thing had been so embarrassing, bu
t she knew he liked stuff like that. If she was taking him away from a night of
composing hit songs, she should at least appease him by making him laugh.
They drove around the block once and searched for anyone who looked suspicious b
ut determined that things were pretty clear. The boys were dropped off, and Yong
hwa had trusted her with the van, but not before telling her a thousand times to
drive carefully and not to miss his call.
The minute she revved up the engine, and the boys disappeared into the restauran
t, Hyoyeon and Sooyoung descended on her.
So, whats it like seeing Yong Seobang after all this time? Is your heart flutterin
g? Hyoyeon chirped from the passenger seat.
Of course its fluttering. Shes acting so cute in front of him.
Seohyun tried to change the subject while she navigated the small alley way. Has
Jungshin chingoo chosen yet?
Dont change the subject. Tell us about Yonghwa. Why were you giggling so much?
I wasnt giggling. We were just talking. Hes like a friend.
We have plenty of friends, Sooyoung sighed at her. We have plenty of everything. Wh
at we dont have are boyfriends.
Is that the most important thing to you? asked Seohyun.
No, its not, but if I found a guy that made me act the way you act around Yonghwa,
Id want him around as more than a friend.
Seohyun parked the van at the end of the alley and put her phone in her lap, awa
iting Yonghwas call. She sat back in her seat and breathed.
I know what you two are doing, but can we be honest? Im not his type. Im not even c
lose. Everything that happened between us is in the past, and now all we have le
ft is friendship. I dont want to date just to have to someone to call every night
. When I date, I want it to be serious. Not something that will last a couple of
months before were too busy to care about each other anymore. Like what already h
appened, she thought.
Hyoyeon was about to say something when Seohyuns phone went off. It was Yonghwa t
elling her that the coast was clear, and that they were waiting for them to come
. That signaled the end of the conversation as the girls quickly exited the van
and greeted Minhyuks friendly father at the back of the restaurant.
The restaurant had been cleared of customers as promised, and the boys had appar

ently chosen their normal spot, a sitting area where some of their CN Blue poste
rs decorated the wall. Seohyun and her unnies sat down, and everyone uttered sma
ll words of accomplishment.
And that, chingoos, is how you avoid a scandal, Sooyoung grinned proudly at her ma
knae.
Seohyun sat across from Yonghwa, a seat no doubt perfectly planned, and was dete
rmined to finish dinner without any other mention of that word. Scandal.
Chapter 5: Two Pieces of Advice

Yonghwa took the prongs and turned over the meat to cook it on the other side. H
e had taken charge of grilling the meat while his bandmates and the girls chatte
d. It hadnt taken any of them long to order nor for the food to come, but Sooyoun
g was still oozing over the menu, pointing out delicious looking pictures to Min
hyuk.
Tried it, he would confirm, then talk about how tasty or spicy it was.
It was the weirdest image for Yonghwa, watching Sooyoung and Minhyuk sit next to
each other, their voices overlapping whenever they got excited and the clash of
her aegyo and his eyesmile. He hoped Minhyuk wouldnt get his hopes up. There was
something weird going on with the two girls and Jungshin, who was being preoccu
pied by Hyoyeons choding charms. He was bent over laughing, almost hair first int
o his soup. Jonghyun and Seohyun were making polite conversation, which Yonghwa
tried hard not to get jealous over. It was hard to join in on anything since the
smoke from the grill was burning his eyes.
He blinked a few times before his eyes cleared momentarily, and he saw Seohyun r
eaching out to him.
Oppa, let me help before you start crying.
Annio. I dont want you to get burned. Im doing fine.
Then let me do it, suggested Jonghyun. He gave Yonghwa a significant look, and Yon
ghwa knew to hand over the prongs right away.
As you wish. Dont mess up the food.
The three of them fanned at the smoke until Yonghwa had clear vision of Seohyuns
pretty face. Now what?
After awhile, the two of them laughed.
Do you want to go get some air? he suggested.
Dae, she nodded.
.
Once Yonghwa and Seohyun were out of sight, the table leaned in together to asse
ss the situation.
Lets be truthful, said Jonghyun to Hyoyeon and Sooyoung. How long would it take for
Hyung to make her realize her feelings?

Hyoyeon and Sooyoung exchanged looks, and Hyoyeon answered, It will probably take
the whole night if Maknae is going to confess anything.
Do we have all night? asked Minhyuk.
Of course we do, Jungshin responded. Hyung is crazy about her, but he feels betraye
d. He needs this night to make up with her and tell her how he feels.
Betrayed? Why would he feel betrayed? asked Hyoyeon, scowling.
The CN Blue members looked around uncomfortably at each other.
Jonghyun was the first to reply. She announced nationally that she never had feel
ings for him. That can ruin a mans confidence for awhile.
Aigoo, Sooyoung sighed. Doesnt he know Seohyun at all? Of course she would say that.
In her mind, she didnt.
What? We dont understand.
If she admits to herself that she had true feelings for Yonghwa, then that means
she would have to allow herself to be sad, to want a relationship with him, to p
ut her focus into something other than being a member of SNSD. Things like that
scare her, and she doesnt like being scared. The girl is really pure and really s
mart, but shes nave when it comes to feelings.
The girl raps so much, she can talk herself in and out of anything in 20 seconds,
added Hyoyeon. But speaking of betrayal, I think it hurt Maknaes feelings when you
r leader was flirting with those girls on Star King, especially the one who perf
ormed our Hoot.
Like Jonghyun said, a mans confidence can be ruined for awhile. To get it back, he
usually goes against his heart, Jungshin told them.
So, were all clear on one thing, said Minhyuk. They both like each other a lot, but
if theyre going to confess, its going to take all night. We apparently have all ni
ght.
Dae, but were going to have to speed things up a little. Theyre not doing much talk
ing around us because they know were watching. We have to seclude them in some wa
y.
Force them the first time, and the other times will come more natural to them, cam
e a voice.
Everyone looked up at Minhyuks father, who had approached the table.
Appa? Minhyuk looked puzzled.
You 5 shouldnt be causing any scandals, but since its your night off, and you care
about your friends, Ill give you two pieces of advice. Being alone with the perso
n rekindles everything even if theyre only alone in their minds, and two, the man
pointed to the grill. Never have important discussions while cooking. The meats bu
rning.
Jonghyun swore and grabbed the prongs, turning the meat over on the grill to che
ck out the damage.
Suddenly Hyoyeon cracked up. They all looked at her.

Burning, she pointed to the meat, and Burning, she pointed to Jonghyun, collapsing i
nto more laughter.
Jonghyun smiled amusingly, and they all laughed with her.
.
Yonghwa and Seohyun went and stood at the back door that she had snuck into, hid
den from view of the street. Seohyun leaned against the door frame, her arms cro
ssed. He kept his hands in his pockets.
Were the closest out of any of them, yet were the most awkward, said Yonghwa bravely
.
I know, Seohyun confessed with a smile. I think Im just worried about my unnies, and
what theyll say. We also havent talked in a long time.
Weve been busy, havent we?
Dae.
Now it was time to go into Yong-choding mode. He wanted to make her seem less gu
arded against him and more comfortable. Did you miss me?
Seohyun looked shocked at his bluntness then smirked. Did you miss me?
What do you think? I should be at home composing a billboard hit, but I came to s
ee you.
And I would be reading my book right now, but here I am. I did. I did miss you, sh
e smiled. Oh, look!
She revealed a necklace, a tiny butterfly charm dangling on the paleness of her
neck. The one he had given her so long ago. The necklace alone reminded him of t
hat one night, when everything seemed to change. When he held her hand for the f
irst time, when he couldnt look her in the eyes because he was too shy and embarr
assed over what he was really feeling. It was the first night he realized that s
he had begun to have feelings for him the way he had feelings for her.
He smiled widely. You still have it?
Of course! I just cant wear it out a lot. My mom still does every day.
I still have the ring. Still untarnished.
I have it too. I have all of our stuff her eyes sparkled before she hesitated, the
n trailed off.
It made him feel less pathetic, knowing that she had kept pieces of their memori
es. It had been a TV show, a time slot on MBC for netizens, but the memories the
y had created couldnt be undone. Still, the way she trailed off made him suspect
something. She seemed too unsure about traveling down memory lane. Was it becaus
e there was someone else and no one else knew? Not even her unnies?
He had to ask. So is there another lucky guy yet?
What?
Are you seeing anyone, that might be jealous that your cool ex-husband is sharing
the night air with you, he smirked.

Annio. You know me better than that.

True.
They met eyes and the smiles faded. It was a comfortable gaze, but it didnt take
long before it turned into a desire, to speak, to be heard, to voice something t
hey both had been holding in since the last day they spent together. He saw it i
n her eyes, and he felt it in his own.
Yonghwa-sshi, Seohyun-sshi.
Both of them turned hastily. It was Minhyuks father standing at a respectful dist
ance. Yonghwa loved the man, but he did not love his timing. It couldve been a go
od time to confess to the beautiful girl in front of him.
The meat is ready, and the others are looking for you.
Oh, thank you, Yonghwa bowed slightly. He looked back at Seohyun, but she was alre
ady following the man back into the restaurant.
Chapter 6: Its A Wrap

Seohyun was so confused. She was trying to remain calm and be mature about the s
ituation, but Yonghwa had an effect on her. One she wasnt used to. He could make
her blush, spout nonsense and act like a school girl grinning at his every word.
Her mind kept going back and forth between what she wanted. She wanted Yonghwa
to express how he felt towards her, but she needed to control her own expression
s. She only wanted to be friends, but she kept having fleeting thoughts of being
real with him. No, she told herself. She was only feeling like this because of
her unnies teasing her over him. She needed to get through dinner, and then she
wouldnt have to worry about it anymore. Then, he would be a text message friend,
a really close one that she would never have to be face-to-face with.
There you are, Hyung, said Jungshin as Seohyun and Yonghwa came back to the table.
Were making wraps.
The meat came out really good even though Jonghyun scorched it a little, said Sooy
oung, who already had a mouth full. Mr. Kang is Daebak!
Minhyuks father gave a thumbs up from the cash register.
Hyoyeon was wrapping a piece of meat in lettuce and stuffing it with rice. She t
urned toward Jungshin. Jungshin-ah, open wide.
The boy did so, and he confirmed right away that it was delicious. Sooyoung pout
ed and helped herself to more food.
Are we not as cute as Jungshin? asked Jonghyun.
Boys get jealous so quickly. Here. Hyoyeon prepared one for him and fed it to him.
It was more mechanical than when she happily gave it to Jungshin.
Seohyun helped herself to a wrap and saw Yonghwa distractedly trying to make his
own.
Something had just happened between them, hadnt it? For a minute, Yonghwas express
ion outside had told her there was something he needed to say and that it was im

portant. Maybe he thought that she had feelings for him and wanted to clear the
air. He was probably going to tell her that he was secretly dating someone else
and apologize for making her think they were going to start fresh.
If that had been what he was going to say, would it have been what she wanted to
hear?
Still, there was the question. If he had a girlfriend, he wouldnt have agreed to
meet with her, even if it was on a friendly basis. They had history together, an
d he probably wouldnt want to explain to the girl if they were caught spending ti
me. Maybe there was simply someone he liked.
Either way, Seohyun hated that she cared. Even a little bit. An hour and a half
ago, she didnt.
There was only one way to test if he was attached to someone or not, and if she
was under the influence of her unnies or were her feelings that she had claimed we
re never real actually real. The only way with her unnies, Jonghyun oppa, and he
r chingoos there.
She made a pretty looking, healthy wrap and said, Oppa, I made this for you.
If he had a girlfriend, he would not let her feed him. Or he would let her get h
alfway and then shove it into his own mouth. It was risky and brave of her, ever
ything she wasnt, but she had to know. If she didnt need to be bothered about it,
then the rest of dinner would go smoothly and things could go back to normal.
Yonghwa looked at her curiously. So did everyone else at the table, their cheeks
sticking out like they were all squirrels.
Let me feed it to you, she said calmly.
Yonghwa leaned forward and opened his mouth. She placed the wrap in, and his lip
s came down onto her fingers. What happened next was something shed never forget.
The minute his lips made contact with her skin, she became hungry, and not for t
he wraps or any of the other food on the table. Crazy scenarios flashed before h
er eyes, all of them leaving her breathless and intrigued. She snapped out of it
to see Yonghwas bursting cheek smile. Thanks, Hyun. That was delicious.
Delicious? Her head started spinning.
Dae, she replied, standing up hastily and almost running from the table.
Hyunnie, where you going? asked Sooyoung.
Excuse me, she bowed awkwardly, halfway to the bathroom.
Once inside, Seohyun stared at herself in the mirror in shock. She could barely
believe what she had been thinking only seconds ago. He had eaten the wrap fully
, no interferences. But his lips, the way he stared back at her as she fed him,
the slight moan echoing from his throat as he tasted it
Hyoyeon burst into the bathroom. Whats wrong? the girl was concerned.
Im losing my mind, Unnie! whined Seohyun.
Come on, talk to your Unnie. What happened?

Ottoke, I cant say it. Not to you.

Then who can you say it to?
Seohyun sighed. No one. Its crazy. Or maybe its not. Ah, Im losing my mind.
Maknae, spit it out. Hyoyeon waited.
When he ate the wrap, his lips touched my fingers, and just now, I she trailed off
, aware that her face was burning. I didnt realize how much I missed his physical
touch. Then I just didnt want it to be my fingers.
Seohyun waited a moment before Hyoyeons eye went wide. She burst into laughter.
Maknae, do you mean what I think you mean?
Annio! Maybe. Molla, she shook her head and muttered an aigoo. But Id never do that.
Not ever. Maybe I just miss holding his hand.
Hyoyeon touched her cheek lightly and smiled at her dongsaeng. Those urges are no
rmal, and one day, youll be able to give in to them so its nothing to be embarrass
ed about. But youre right. Now isnt the time.
I dont get urges like that. Not even when I held his hand before.
Somethings intimate about watching your man eat with pleasure. You can see his mas
culine tendencies, right? Hyoyeon smiled, leaning against the sink.
When he did, I saw earnest in his eyes. I liked it, she said, almost to herself as
if she were trying to figure something out.
Interesting. Her unnie smirked, then turned to fluff her own hair in the mirror as
if proud of something. Hurry back before Yong seobang suspects something.
Wait, Unnie, Seohyun grabbed her arm before she left, does this mean I I like him?
What do you think? The better question is, what will you do about it?
Seohyun suddenly had a lot to think about.
Are you ok? Yonghwa asked when she returned to the table after splashing herself w
ith cool water.
She nodded, looking around on the table to decide what to put in her own wrap to
avoid his eyes.
Hyun, Ill make a wrap for you. Anticipate it, ok.
She watched him load up the lettuce wrap with meat and all of her favorite veget
ables. He leaned forward and held it out for her. She couldnt avoid his eyes any
longer. She allowed him to fully feed her but kept tight control over her mind.
The wrap tasted amazing on first bite, and she allowed herself a smile and a con
firmation to him that it was delicious.
One thing was clear. Yonghwa did not have a girlfriend. Something not so clear?
Seohyuns true feelings and what she was going to do with them.

Yonghwa was running out of ideas. Everything on the table was almost finished up

, and they would be leaving soon. He wasnt going to give up yet, but he had no pl
an of action. He couldve always asked her to get more air, but there was no more
smoke, and she might think he was being suspicious. He wouldnt get anywhere with
her while sitting at the table. What would they do? Keep feeding each other wrap
s back and forth?
Jungshin-ah, feed me a wrap, Sooyoung suddenly proclaimed to his maknae.
It was his turn to watch the interaction of wrap feeding. Jungshin looked puzzle
d, then shy, then determined. He made a nice one and leaned across the table.
Sooyoung moaned happily and shot him with an aegyo look that sent Jungshin grinn
ing like a fool. Minhyuk looked a bit sore about it.
Was it good, Noona?
The best, she confirmed.
Noona? When had they been close enough for him to call her noona?
Yonghwa didnt miss the exchanged look between Hyoyeon and Sooyoung noona which si
lently announced This means war.
Jonghyun-ah, Hyoyeon turned to the boy, Feed me a wrap.
Annio, Jonghyun replied nonchalantly.
Hyoyeon put on her scary smile and leaned into his ear. Youll feed me a wrap if yo
u know whats good for you.
Jonghyun quietly began making one, his expression one of intense amusement. Clea
rly he couldnt wait to see what was going to happen. Neither could Yonghwa. He wa
s mesmerized.
Jonghyun fed Hyoyeon the wrap, and she moaned in tasty pleasure too but not with
out falling back into Jungshins arm and lying there for a moment. Jungshin laughe
d shyly.
Looks like girls get jealous pretty quickly too, Jonghyun muttered under his breat
h and Hyoyeon elbowed him in the arm.
Yonghwas mouth was hanging open at the display. His phone vibrated in his pocket
and he reached for it. It was a text from Seohyun. He looked up and made eye con
tact with her.
They both want Jungshin chingoo to be their date for tonight. Are they being too
much? The text read.
Almost. Another question. Is this a date? He sent back and looked up wanting to
read her expression.
Seohyun flinched slightly then stared at her phone. She mustve been reading the t
ext over and over again, which gave him no sense of relief. Was it a date or was
nt it?
Ah, now we need snacks, Minhyuk suddenly announced loudly.
The word snacks mustve grabbed Seohyuns attention because she looked ready to give
a lecture.

Minhyuk-ah, having snacks this time of night is bad. We shouldnt have even eaten d
inner at this time. It will offset our bodies and make us gain weight, she explai
ned.
Its either dessert or snacks, and both are equally bad for you, expressed Hyoyeon t
o her dongsaeng. Were all adults, and we work hard everyday. If we want snacks, wer
e allowed to get snacks.
Unnie, you know how I feel, Seohyun pouted, not backing down. Yonghwa liked that.
He now felt even guiltier for drinking coffee so much after they divorced.
Seohyun, can you pick us out healthy snacks instead? asked Minhyuk nicely. Theres a
store not far from here. Just a couple of blocks over.
Why are you asking her as if shes the one going to get them? asked Yonghwa.
Shes our maknae. We want her to, said Hyoyeon. And you should take her just in case
some weirdo tries to kidnap her.
Yah! Why me? Jungshin, Minhyuk, go get us some snacks, Yonghwa ordered his dongsae
ngs.
We dont want Jungshin and Minhyuk to get the snacks. We want you and Hyunie to wal
k your butts to the store, Sooyoung ordered back. Or are you insisting she go by h
erself?
Oppa, its ok. If I dont, theyll just come back with something sweet, Seohyun was alre
ady standing up and collecting her purse.
Then Ill come too. It wasnt what he had in mind to finish up the night, but he was n
ot about to let her drive the van or walk the streets by herself. It couldve been
bad news if she went with either of his dongsaengs and was spotted. He could se
e the articles now. Seohyun prefers the Nations Chingoo to CN Blue leader Yonghwa
. Seohyun and Minhyuk more than same-aged friends. Jonghyun is Seohyuns real CN B
lue oppa. SNSD gets kidnapped on the streets of Seoul All CN Blues fault.
Things could blow up in his own face if they were caught together, but better hi
m than anyone else. He only wanted Seohyuns name next to his own.
Chapter 7: You re Beautiful

Yonghwa and Seohyun put on conspicuous glasses and baggy t-shirts and hats from
the restaurant as their idol disguise. When they revealed the disguises to each
other, both laughed. So much work just to walk down the street and not get attac
ked by fans, or worse, anti-fans.
You look like an architect student working part-time, Seohyun told him.
You look like a library ahjummah with those glasses and that hair, he chuckled. Sh
e had tucked her long hair up into the hat, making it look like she had a short
bob. Come on, lets go.
They left their friends and went out into the neighborhood as regular people. Th
e street had become emptier since they had arrived to eat, and now, there were o
nly a few people who passed by. None of them looked twice at the two of them. Th
e only thing that would have made this better, other than being able to wear bet
ter clothes, was if Yonghwa could reach over for Seohyuns hand and hold it or put
his arm around her. He wished he had enough courage to ask.

Seohyun chuckled cutely to herself.

What?
This reminds me of old times a bit. We used to walk everywhere during our filming
.
Ah, I know. We were so uncool, we didnt even have licenses.
I got mine before you, she teased. Oppa got his when it was too late.
But whos now driving the van? he teased back, nudging her with his shoulder.
The same person whos running over every pothole in Seoul.
Jashik, Yonghwa smiled widely at her.
It was natural when they were alone, more natural than he had expected when they
had first spoken on the phone and agreed to meet. They walked in a comfortable
silence, him purposely bumping into her shoulder and her retaliating with a bump
against his. They eventually stopped, but Yonghwa kept stealing glances at her.
He wondered what she was thinking in that moment, the thought that was making h
er look like an angel.
Hyun, youve become so beautiful, he blurted out.
She visibly blushed. Annio. I look the same as before.
You were beautiful then too, but these days, no man can take their eyes off of Se
ohyun. Somethings changed. Yonghwa left out that fact that he was one of these men
.
Seohyun shrugged. My unnies are prettier, right? They help me a lot.
Jashik. Dont give them all the credit. Youre doing fine on your own. Youre really be
autiful.
Seohyun was quiet and refused to look at him. Did he ruin everything just now?
Does me saying that make you uncomfortable? he asked sincerely.
She pouted her lips like a duck, the way she usually did when she was contemplat
ing something but didnt answer or speak.
Mianne, he apologized. I guess I got too comfortable."
Its fine, Oppa, she watched her shoes as they walked. I dont mean to be so awkward. I
ts just been a long time.
Indeed it had been. Maybe if he found out why, it would be easier to get over th
e wall she had rebuilt since they had been away from each other. Things were eas
ier when they were alone, yet more difficult. They could be themselves and not w
orry about what others would think and if the episode would be successful, but n
ow they were too worried what each other had to say and what it would mean for t
hem.
It didnt matter. If he still had feelings, putting up his own wall wouldnt help.
Hyun, what happened to us?

What?
Yonghwa shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked a rock in his path. Why did
we stop calling? Why did the texts stop?
I was busy, and I knew you were busy, with the drama and after the drama. With ev
erything. The time in between grew so long, I didnt know if you still wanted to h
ear from me, she replied.
I thought the same, so I never called either, he confided. The drama. You said youd
support me. Did you watch?
Dae, of course. I watched well, He noticed right then that Seohyun lowered her eye
s. I forgot to tell you at Niigata.
Hows your acting coming along? He knew that she was studying theater in college and
wondered about her progress. He hadnt heard any rumors about it, but he hoped sh
ed be able to experience both the joys and hard work of a drama set.
Not so well, she admitted with an embarrassed grin. Ive auditioned for a couple of t
hings. My biggest criticism is that Im unnatural. I cant get the emotion of the sc
ene correct. I need to work harder.
Yeah, its difficult to be natural with someone you barely know, right? But with ac
ting, youre not yourself. Youre the character.
I know that.
Then whatever the scene asks you to do, dont think How should I do this? but, My char
acter would definitely do it like this, Yonghwa explained.
They turned the corner into an empty narrow alleyway. A moment of brilliance fla
shed for Yonghwa, and he slowed his walk. It would either get him slapped by the
innocent maknae of SNSD or do just want he wanted.
Ive known. Since the beginning, he said quietly in a controlled voice.
Huh? Seohyun turned around in confusion.
He leaned against the wall of the alley coolly. That you were a woman. Now that y
ouve revealed it, Ill claim you as mine.
Now Seohyun looked thoroughly puzzled. He now approached her, moving into her pe
rsonal space and backing her softly into the wall. He placed his hand near her h
ead and leaned close.
Oppa, what are you doing? she murmured in fear. He braced himself for a slap but i
t never came.
He leaned in for a kiss, then in all seriousness said, Go Mi Nam.
Seohyuns face did at least three different expressions before pushing him away. Y
onghwa burst into laughter. He laughed so hard his glasses almost fell off of hi
s face.
Oppa! she whined, her face astonished by his joke. That was so mean!
He couldnt stop laughing, but she began laughing too, muttering aigoos and shakin
g her head back and forth.

Good acting? he asked in between breaths.

Terrible acting. Thats not even what you said in that drama, she playfully shoved h
im. Ugh, aigoo!
Jashik. You liked it!
Babo! Ugh, youre such a choding.
Im a man, Hyun, he snickered, trying to pat her on the arm. She pushed him away aga
in.
Fine. Yong Oppa is a cruel man. No wonder Go Mi Nam didnt choose you.
They kept going back and forth with each other, laughing, until they relaxed in
took in the freedom of being normal. Things felt perfect with her at his side, e
ven if he hadnt really confessed and wasnt holding her hand or cradling her with h
is arm.
They walked further in silence, arm to arm. She tipped her hat lower and he repl
ied to a text sent from his brother. When they rounded a couple of corners, Yong
hwa spotted a young guitarist setting up to play on the corner. His guitar case
was open to collect money, and Yonghwa had memory flashes of CN Blues time in Jap
an as nobodies playing on the streets, hoping that someone would stop and take i
nterest. Now, they had fans worldwide. People who loved them without knowing who
they really were or without ever having seen a concert. He felt bad for the gui
tarist, but he also envied him greatly.
Cruel Man Yong, Seohyuns voice interrupted his thoughts. Is that the store?
On the corner across the street from the guitarist, the store illuminated the re
st of the block. It looked welcoming, but it would probably be closing soon. It
was almost 11 oclock at night. Where had the time gone?
Oh, Dae. Come on. He ushered her across the street.
Yonghwa and Seohyun moved quickly in the store. The lyrics, You dont know (oh oh)
, You dont know youre beautiful, echoed somewhere from the store radio. They picke
d out packaged dry fruits and nut mixtures, and Yonghwa paid the saleswoman hast
ily before she looked too close at his face. He knew everyone would complain abo
ut the snacks, and he wished he couldve gotten an ice-cream pop or some candy, bu
t he dutifully followed her health suggestions.
By the time they left, the street guitarist was beginning a new song. It was an
English song Yonghwa had heard a couple of times but didnt know the name or the s
inger.
The scars of your love remind me of us. They keep me thinkin that we almost had i
t all.The scars of your love they leave me breathless. I cant help thinkin we coul
dve had it all, the guitarist belted out in perfect English. His voice was untrai
ned but was really good and raw.
He must be Korean-American or something, Yonghwa mused. Seohyun told him that he
r unnie Tiffany sings the song in the shower all the time. They admired him long
er from a far, and Yonghwa wished he could go over and join him.
That used to be you. Seohyun smiled at him.
That still is me, confessed Yonghwa. Seohyun looked at him curiously. Playing for b

oth love and survival.

Youre surviving well.
Some days, I wish I could go back to pre-debut days, he told her quietly. Where I c
ould play on the street and people would just keep walking past. No one would no
tice me.
If people are walking past you, how can you show them your passion for music? aske
d Seohyun. Its no secret that Im a Boice.
At this confession, they both smiled widely at each other.
Im happy that when you walk down the street as yourself, people notice.
That meant a lot to him, that she would say something like that. It made him wan
t to work harder and become even better in her eyes. Her sparkling eyes that he
wanted to see only him and no one else.
What if, he hesitated, dropping his voice, I wanted to walk down the street hand in
hand with someone. Wouldnt I get punished for it?
When the right time comes, you can hold hands with whoever you want, and there wo
nt be a punishment.
Seohyun, something tells me therell never be a right time.
She looked up at him with those sparkling eyes and said, There will be.
Fine. If she was so certain, he wondered how certain shed feel if he were to tell
her right then and there that he wanted to hold her hand. Now was as good as an
y time. Soon, they would be back with their friends, and the night would be over
. He would have no more chances.
Hyun he started, but Seohyun was preoccupied once again.
Gogumas! she squeaked, pointing across the street excitedly.
Yonghwa followed the direction he was pointing and laughed. An elderly man selli
ng fresh steaming hot gogumas on the opposite corner of both the store and the g
uitarist was packing up. He was removing three gogumas he apparently hadnt been a
ble to sell. It was too warm out to eat them, but there was no way he was going
to deny Seohyun of her favorite food. Maybe it would rekindle more of their time
together. They were the Goguma couple after all.
Hyun, how does my disguise look? he asked, fixing himself as if her face was a mir
ror.
Still like an architecture student, she confirmed.
Good. Stay here. Ill be back.
He wandered over to the corner and paid for two gogumas. The man didnt recognize
him but acknowledged him all the same. Your girlfriend will surely love this tast
y treat. Enjoy.
Kamsahamnida, Ahjusshi, Yonghwa bowed then returned to Seohyun, who was happier th
an he had witnessed all night.
This is so tasty! she raved as they began their trek back to the restaurant. Were so

lucky!
He almost believed her.
Chapter 8: Close Friends

Seohyun distracted herself from everything she was feeling with a tasty, piping
hot goguma. The walk had confirmed two things. One, she definitely wanted to spe
nd more time with Yonghwa, more time alone. She felt really comfortable with him
but felt the opposite when they were with everyone else. And two, Yonghwa had n
o idea how much he was teasing her. Not only had he gone on and on about how bea
utiful she was now, embarrassing her to no end, but when he had pulled the alley
way stunt with her, she had actually wanted him to do something. Hug her, kiss h
er, something, anything.
Seohyun didnt think of herself as beautiful or even pretty for that matter. She f
elt like she was quite plain compared to the rest of her unnies. When Yonghwa wa
s telling her that men were paying attention to her, it had disheartened her. Sh
e didnt want that attention yet, not when she still felt so young. Her days of be
ing the cute maknae were over and it saddened her. Was she ready to be beautiful
and sexy? Did she want to be considered that? She knew that Yonghwa would never
understand it if she had told him what she was thinking in that moment. He knew
about the pressures of being a leader but none of a maknae. Especially a maknae
female whose image was to be pure and innocent. After being turned on twice by
him, she was sure that exaggerated innocence was no more.
And then the alleyway act. At first, she had been confused by his sudden outburs
t of randomness. Then he started awkwardly confessing. Then he had made his move
, and she foolishly became entranced with what he was going to do. She liked tha
t forceful side of him, maybe even more than his choding side. It wasnt scary or
too rough, but stimulating and manly. Then he had said the poisonous word. Or na
me. Go Mi Nam. But that name was better than another name.
In the end, his act had been funny to her, but in the moment, she was nothing bu
t embarrassed. She couldnt tell if he liked her or not, and she wasnt about to con
sider anything until he proved it in some way. Reading him was so frustrating, s
he thought.
Go.
Gu, she added, smiling at Yonghwas sudden game.
Ma. Is that still all there is to that game? So frustrating, he said, taking a lar
ge bite of his treat.
Go, she began again.
Gu.
Ma. Dae, it doesnt seem to be changing, she replied.
Back at the alleyway entrance to Minhyuks fathers restaurant, they met their frien
ds who had powwowed next to the van, chatting happily. Luckily the streets were
almost empty, and no one posed as a possible threat. They all looked up the minu
te Seohyun and Yonghwa appeared and gave casual greetings.
What are you eating, Hyoyeon ran up to her. Oh, you brought us back gogumas?

Not really, Unnie, Seohyun turned away.

Yah! Give me some! Hyoyeon demanded.
Unnie! Seohyun screamed.
Sssh! Yonghwa chuckled, looking around and making sure no one was spying on them.
Seohyuns hand flung to her mouth, and she laughed. Hyoyeon stole a bite of her sw
eet potato.
So what did you guys get us? asked Jonghyun, leaning coolly against the van.
Yonghwa took out the dried fruit and nuts and threw one bag to Jonghyun and one
to Minhyuk. Sooyoung, who was standing close to Jungshin, took the fruit from Jo
nghyun and groaned. This isnt a snack.
Sure it is, said Seohyun. Unnie, youre just getting over a head cold. Its good for yo
u.
So you guys get gogumas, and we get dried fruit? Hyoyeon complained.
If you wanted different, you should have gone to the store yourself, said Yonghwa.
Seohyun was happy that he was standing up for her. She hadnt expected them to com
plain so much. Didnt everyone like dried fruit?
Anything interesting happen along the walk? asked Minhyuk.
Not really, said Seohyun, and she looked to Yonghwa for confirmation. She hoped he
wouldnt tell them about the alleyway stunt. Shed never be able to look her unnies
in the eye if he did, and it was bad enough that Hyoyeon already knew about her
little wrap feeding incident.
No, nothing, confirmed Yonghwa. Just a walk to the store and back. Why are you guys
outside?
Just hanging out. Mr. Kang wanted to get things cleaned up for tomorrow. He let u
s eat for free and got an autograph from the girls, said Jonghyun. When you guys c
hange, hell probably get yours too, Seohyun.
She nodded and headed inside to change back into her regular clothes and leather
jacket. Yonghwa followed. After she was back to normal and thanked Mr. Kang for
the hospitality of his restaurantand signed her autographthey met everyone back a
t the van. She was expecting to head back to the dorm when she heard Minhyuk tel
ling Yonghwa that Hyoyeon had requested to play his drums. Everyone wanted to go
to the old music room.
What? she edged into their conversation. You want to go tonight?
Dae, why not? We all have time, replied Minhyuk.
Did you bring instruments?
Theyre in the back of the van. This is the last time well get together for awhile.
Lets make the most of it.
Seohyun noted that the boys all looked at Yonghwa when Minhyuk said this. Yonghw
a seemed to understand something that she didnt. He turned to her, shrugging. It c
ould be fun. Ill teach you more guitar.

Seohyun was curious about the significance of the CN Blue boys looks. What did th
ey mean by making the most of it? They mustve been really happy to hang out with
her unnies.
Jungshin-ah, will you teach me the bass? asked Sooyoung.
Sure, Noona. The bass looks really cool when youre tall, replied Jungshin happily.
Very true. You always look very cool, she replied back.
Oh, Kamsamnida, Noona.
Hyoyeon rolled her eyes, and Seohyun saw Jonghyun snicker at her reaction.
Minhyuks father came outside, and everyone said their goodbyes and gave him many t
hank yous for being so nice and treating them so well. Minhyuk parted from his fa
ther last as everyone climbed into the van. Jonghyun apparently wanted to drive
this time around instead of Yonghwa, and Sooyoung and Hyoyeon once again sandwic
hed Jungshin in the middle seats of the van. Seohyun thought about sitting upfro
nt, but as much as she liked Jonghyun, it wouldve been awkward. Yonghwa tapped he
r on the shoulder.
Sit in the back with me.
She nodded and climbed in after him, sliding into the very backseat of the van.
Moments later, Minhyuk got into the passenger seat, and they were on their way.
Yonghwa casually put his arm on the sear, making her too shy to sit back. They s
miled at each other timidly, and Seohyun squirmed in her seat a little.
Hyoyeons CD mix started up again.
Ke$has Blah Blah Blah blared from the van speakers. Zip your lips like a pad-lock a
nd meet me at the back with a jack and the jukebox.
Why was she so uptight? It was just Yonghwa and she was an adult, not a little g
irl. There was no reason to be so stiff, and she liked the idea of his armalmost
being around her shoulder. She slowly edged back into the seat and tried to rel
ax.
Think youll be getting this. Not not not, not in the back of my car car car
Yonghwas phone vibrated on the seat. He looked down at it then glanced over at Se
ohyun. She had already read the name on the screen, Park Shin Hye, but he angled
the phone away from her to text back. Seohyun busied herself looking out the wi
ndow into the dark. Her unnies and chingoos were chatting lively with each other
, making jokes and picking on each other as if they had all been close for years
.
Park Shin Hye. Seohyun liked that unnie a lot, but when rumors started flying ar
ound about her involvement with Yonghwa and how their friendship was flawless, S
eohyun had felt strong jealousy. During that time, she had tried to act like she
didnt care about it. There were always plenty of rumors about everyone dating ev
eryone else, her included. But it was during a time when their divorce had still
felt fresh, and she felt that she had some claim over him still. Seohyun didnt w
ant to feel anything bad about Shin Hye so she disregarded the jealousy and thre
w herself into work and kept things neutral with Yonghwa until eventually they w
ere where they were now. Sitting in the back of the van while Ke$ha sang lyrics
that Unnies Tiffany and Jessica were too embarrassed to explain to her.

Sitting with him now, knowing that he was texting her, she allowed herself to re
flect on that jealousy. Maybe the rumors had been true. Maybe Seohyun was just a
friend to him he wanted to reclaim, but Shin Hye was the real person who had hi
s heart.
Yonghwas phone went off again, and Seohyun looked back over at him out of habit.
He looked ready to put the phone away, but she stopped him.
Its ok. If you want to talk to her, do it. You dont have to worry about entertainin
g me.
Yonghwa sighed. Shes just a friend. Honestly. She only texted me a joke.
You dont have to explain to me. Im no one, she said pleasantly but quiet enough for
the others not to hear. She didnt want to draw attention to the two of them and c
ause everyone to become serious.
He moved closer to her. Shin Hye is a very close friend. Ill have other opportunit
ies to talk with her. I want to talk to Seohyun right now while I still have tim
e.
They gazed at each other, and Seohyun felt strangely overwhelmed and happy at th
e same time.
Oh thank goodness, she told herself. She couldnt stop the smile spreading across
her face.
Seohyun, do me a favor, said Yonghwa. Smile like that for the rest of the night.
His words gave her chills. The good kind. Her smile spread wider.
Jungshin turned around in his seat. So cheesy, Hyung.
Yonghwa shoved him, making her laugh. She anticipated what the music room would
bring.
Chapter 9: The Music Room

Sometime later, due to Jonghyuns speeding, the van arrived at the old music room,
the first place Yonghwa had taken Seohyun during the first night of their fake
marriage. It was the place where she was introduced to the guitar for the first
time, the place where Yonghwa requested they speak banmal and she curtly refused
, the place where they sang their first duet, her on the keyboard and him on his
acoustic guitar. Where she met her fun brother-in-laws, cut cake with Yonghwa,
roughly played him her version of the Banmal song as part of their goodbyes to e
ach other
Are you guys coming? asked Hyoyeon.
Seohyun looked around. Yonghwa was waiting for her to get out. She shuffled thro
ugh the seats and hopped out. Once she was out, they retrieved their guitars and
bass and headed into the building. They were across town from Minhyuks fathers re
staurant now, and the neighborhood was empty and silent. Seohyun didnt even want
to know how late it was, but she felt better about the complete privacy they wou
ld have. Seohyun hung back with Yonghwa while the others walked ahead, chatting
happily. Yonghwa would add something to their conversation every once in awhile,
but Seohyun stayed silent for the most part. She wanted to remember all of the
good memories.

Is there a bathroom we can use? asked Sooyoung.

Sure. Its right down the hall. Minhyuk pointed. Well get the instruments set up. A dr
um set should already be in there.
Hyunnie, come with us, Sooyoung ordered, pulling her arm.
They parted from the boys and entered the bathroom to re-do their make-up and fi
x their hair. Seohyun had tried to get her hair back to normal after wearing the
hat disguise, but now her unnies were able to better help her when she wasnt in
such a rush. Sooyoung reapplied her own lipstick and Hyoyeon fixed her blonde ha
ir.
So, what happened on the walk? Anymore turn ons? asked Sooyoung.
Seohyun stared daggers at Hyoyeon, who shrugged innocently. You told, Unnie?
Of course she told. Dont worry about it. Our secret, Sooyoung giggled.
Ottoke, sighed Seohyun. I cant trust you guys with anything.
So the walk. What did you two talk about? Did he try to hold your hand? Hyoyeon pr
essed for details.
Seohyun shrugged, blushing. Nothing. We just talked.
Now there was definitely no way she was going to tell them what happened in that
alleyway.
What about in the van?
Please, Unnie, stop pressuring me. He hasnt done anything.
Hyoyeon rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at her in the mirror. In other n
ews, its time to pressure Jungshin into choosing one of us. We cant keep playing c
at and mouse.
I agree. I cant watch you flirt with him any longer.
Me? Jungshin-ah, feed me. Arent I so pretty and tall? Dont you love feeding me? Dont
you want to teach me bass? Hyoyeon mimicked Sooyoung in a high pitched voice not
hing like Sooyoungs actual tone.
If you were smart, youd try to convince him to teach you bass too, Sooyoung snapped
back. Ill be getting skinship, and youll be banging the drums with Minhyuk, whos sh
own no interest in you.
Jungshin will choose me, said Hyoyeon. I have a tactic.
Truthfully, hes too young for either of you, Seohyun voiced her opinion. Jungshin ch
ingoo looks older than he is, but hes just as nave as me. Hes a really nice person.
Dont lead him on.
No one is as nave as you, Maknae, replied Hyoyeon. And no ones leading anyone on. No
ones falling in love, other than you.
Love? Seohyun felt strange at the mention of the word. She stared at herself in
the mirror. The last time she had been here, hadnt she felt something like that?
Not quite but almost. She was starting to think that she had a lot more feelings

for Yonghwa than she ever admitted to herself. Why else would she be so affecte
d by him? Why else was she so defensive whenever anyone brought him up? Why had
she been so happy to come back to this place? This stuff was too complicated. It
was the exact reason why she avoided things like this. She was too deeply invol
ved in her emotions that there was no turning back tonight, but they were too ou
t of control.
How do I know? asked Seohyun out loud. How do I know I can trust what I feel?
Her unnies looked confused. If you cant trust yourself, who can you trust? said Hyo
yeon.
Seohyun leaned against the sink miserable. A few hours ago, I was perfectly conte
nt. Oppa was just a good memory. And now. Now, hes making me feel like Ive been bu
rying something.
You have been, for several months. Yes, hes a memory, but hes a strong one. Why are
you fighting it so much?
You know why. I dont know how to let go, she admitted.
Her unnies nodded in understanding.
In moments like this, we have to ask ourselves, what would Beyonc do? Hyoyeon did a h
ip swing in the mirror, and Sooyoung followed. Seohyun giggled. She always lets i
t go.
So what would she do? Sooyoung asked Seohyun as if it were a test question she nee
ded to answer correctly to pass the entire course.
Seohyun looked at her reflection again in the mirror. She was mature now, and Yo
nghwa had told her she was beautiful and had meant it. Confidence. Shed be confide
nt.
Ive got an idea! Hyeoyeon shared excitedly. Youll know what to do when I give you the
cue.
What?
Just trust me, Maknae.
We better get back before the boys get antsy, Sooyoung commented. Ottoke. Are we go
ing to embarrass ourselves with these instruments?
They left the bathroom, and Seohyun wondered if she would love or hate Hyoyeons s
ecretive idea. Either way, it was good to know that her unnies were looking out
for her.
.
Yonghwa was happy the girls disappeared for a little while. He needed to check i
n with his dongsaengs and make sure things were going smoother than he felt they
were. He still hadnt confessed to Seohyun, and Shin Hyes texting while they had b
een trying to get comfortable looked like it might hurt his chances. Luckily, Se
ohyun had accepted that she was just a close frienda friend who knew his feelings
for the SNSD maknae.
Shin Hye was cool like that. He could confide in her about things like this, and
she could confide in him about the same types of things, asking for advice. The
y had it down to an art so that when he texted her their code phrase A miracle, sh

e had sent him good luck and congratulations. He could almost hear the glee in h
er voice. A miracle stood for the fact that he always said it would take a mirac
le for him to spend time with Seohyun ever again.
He couldnt tell if Seohyun liked him or not. Sometimes she was distant, and other
times, she acted like she didnt want to leave his side. He wondered how it would
go when he put his guitar around her and helped her practice.
How are you guys doing?
Jungshin and Jonghyun confirmed that they were doing just fine, but Minhyuk was
in low spirits.
I was doing fine until I realized what was happening, Minhyuk scoffed
Whats happening? They all asked him.
Everyone has a date, except me, explained Minhyuk. Hyung has Seohyun, Jonghyun Hyun
g keeps flirting with Hyoyeon noona, but she and Sooyoung noona like Jungshin. I
didnt get to feed anyone a wrap. Im the seventh wheel.
Minhyuk, Noonas dont like me. Theyre just being nice, said Jungshin.
Jungshin, theyre paying more attention to you than to anyone. But Im not flirting w
ith anyone, said Jonghyun, strumming a few notes on his guitar.
Yonghwa grinned at him. Jonghyun, I know your style. Subtle but potent. You defin
itely think shes pretty.
Its the blonde hair, isnt it, Hyung? asked Jungshin with a knowing smile. Dae, noona
really has become prettier. Shes really funny too. I like it.
So shes your ideal? Good, then let me date Sooyoung noona, said Minhyuk.
Everyone looked at Jungshin. Was he really going to give up all of the attention
?
He stuttered for a bit before flipping his hair charmingly and pouting. Enough of
this. Were here for Yonghwa Hyung, not ourselves. Honestly, Hyung, we thought yo
ud confess to Seohyun on your walk to get snacks.
I tried. Kind of. We talked and joked around, but shes not very open. Its like shes
pushing and pulling and doesnt even know it.
Sister-in-laws just like that, Hyung. Really shy until you do something bold, said
Minhyuk, beating the bass drum with his foot.
Sister-in-law? asked Yonghwa at the sudden use of the term.
Dae, I miss calling her that. Minhyuk smiled.
I told her she was beautiful. Thats very bold, but she didnt seem to like it.
How many people probably tell her that on a daily basis? Its probably more burdens
ome than anything. Hyung, be a man. If you want her, let her know. Thats what I w
ould do, said Jonghyun confidently.
Yonghwa strapped on his guitar and played a short, quick melody. Well, this man p
lans to woo her with what I know best. Music.

Just then the girls entered into the music room, Seohyun leading the way. All of
the boys looked up from what they were doing. Sooyoung was tall and glamorous l
ike a model, Yonghwa mused, and Hyoyeon was bright and gave a vibe of a tough gi
rl underneath all that brightness. But Seohyun? Yonghwas eyes were glued to her i
n that cute leather jacket of hers. She had everything he wanted, and no one els
e could compare. Whatever had happened in the bathroom that had her coming back
looking like this, it had stirred something strong in him.
Chapter 10: Instruments
Yonghwa was trying to be a smooth musician. Any one of his fans would tell him h
e didnt need to try, but when it came to Seohyun who would be oblivious to any fl
irtation, he had to pull out the big guns. Teaching someone the guitar was alway
s hands on and personal, but as Hyoyeon banged pointlessly at the drums with a g
iant smile while Minhyuk covered his ears and Jonghyun laughed, and Jungshin and
Sooyoung were too busy looking into the mirror using the bass as a modeling too
l and plucking a couple of notes, Yonghwa and Seohyun were in their own little c
orner of the room actually getting somewhere.
Seohyun had been practicing and could roughly and slowly play a couple of chorus
lines, but Yonghwa wanted to teach her one of CN Blues songs. He used this oppor
tunity to stand over her, his stomach pressing against her back, his head leanin
g into the crook of her neck, his quiet words finding her ear as she listened to
his advice. He kept touching her fingers or placing his over hers for both effe
ct and teaching.
The biggest surprise was that she let him. There had only been a moment of tensi
on before she had relaxed into him and let him lead her. One time, she had turne
d her head to him, and he had lost track of what he was saying. They had only be
en inches apart, and he scrambled to regain focus. It was difficult, as was tryi
ng to not focus on the fact that he and Seohyun were so close to intimate skinsh
ip. The longer they practiced like this, he had to control crazy urges that migh
t get him in trouble of he listened to them. He didnt want to, but he fought it.
After awhile, she played what he had taught her correctly, and they celebrated a
s everyone else remained distracted. Yonghwa checked his phone. It was almost on
e in the morning.
Seohyun, its really late, he told her. Will you get into trouble with your manager?
She thought for a moment, checked her phone, and seeming reassured herself. Howd i
t get so late?
I dont know. I dont want you to get into trouble.
If Oppa is worried where we are, hed call one of us, but he hasnt. Were ok. What abo
ut you? Doesnt your manager live with you?
He has a date tonight, Yonghwa smiled. The last thing he wants to do is check up on
us. Trust me."
He and Seohyun shared a laugh. His manager hyung was definitely calling it a nig
ht and a morning with his date. If only Yonghwa had that freedom with Seohyun. U
gh, he needed to get his thoughts under control before he gave himself away.
Ok! Hyoyeon shouted over the noise and drummed on a cymbal. Minhyuk looked pained.
I want Seohyun-ah and Sooyoungie to get over here so we can show you guys our ba
nd.
What band? asked Sooyoung.

The SeoHyoSoo band! Were a rocker subgroup of So Nyuh Shi Dae. Come on, get over h
ere.
Seohyun hesitantly made her way over to the drumset. Sooyoung as well. She cooll
y positioned herself where Jungshin would be if they were on stage, and Seohyun
awkwardly stood at his place, front and center.
Ill play me, offered Jonghyun.
Jonghyun Oppas in SNSD now? Seohyun joked as he went to his usual place.
Yeah, Im the popular one. Its HyunSeoHyoSoo band, he responded.
When did CN Blue break up, Jonghyun? asked Yonghwa. Have you no loyalty?
He got a better offer! called out Hyoyeon, who clicked the drumsticks above her he
ad and began to count off the intro. 1, 2, 3 ,4!
Wait, what song, Unnie? asked Seohyun, but everyone had started playing random not
es, and Hyoyeons horrid drumming kicked into gear. No one could hear anything, bu
t Yonghwa, Jungshin, and Minhyuk couldnt stop holding their ears and laughing, th
eir heads in between their legs. The room was complete and utter chaos. Seohyun
was the beautiful center of it.
Around the time one oclock in the morning came and went, everyone was sitting tog
ether in the center of the room, chomping lazily on the snacks they had bought e
arlier. Hyoyeon was fooling around with her mp3 player on her phone.
Ah! she said, standing up, searching around for something.
Unnie, whats wrong? ask Seohyun.
I need to plug this in for maximum sound.
They found adaptable speakers lying in a corner under some equipment down the ha
ll, and Hyoyeon plugged up her phone excitedly. He wondered why she was suddenly
so happy.
And now, for our instruments, she announced, standing up and approaching the mirro
r. He saw Seohyun and Sooyoung exchange confused looks.
You a bad girl and ya friends bad too, ooh. You got that swag sauce, ya drippin s
wag-goo, ooh
A woman started singing with a slow, dancy beat behind her voice.
Ooh, Beyonc, said Sooyoung, exchanging another glance to Seohyun, this one more con
fident. She now seemed to know what was going on, as did Seohyun.
Hyoyeon went to the mirror and began dancing slowly to the rhythm. The girl real
ly took her dancing queen title seriously, he thought. Hyoyeon wasnt his ideal, b
ut she had a pretty shape when she danced. It appealed to him only mildly, but h
is CN Blue dongsangs couldnt tear their eyes away it seemed. Jungshin had his mo
uth partly open. He wished Seohyun would do it as well.
When Beyonc began singing about how much she liked to Party-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey, Hyo t
urned around to call on her members, and Yonghwa got his wish.
You two remember that dance we made up awhile ago?

Sooyoung stood up and joined Hyoyeon in front of the mirror on her left side. Se
ohyun gave him a look he didnt understandbut likedand joined on the right.
Your touch is driving me crazy. I cant explain the way I feel
They began a slow, synchronized dance that was pretty and sensual at the same ti
me. Yonghwa knew that Seohyun danced, and he usually enjoyed watching it when th
ere were nine people on stage and no one could tell who he was staring at. But r
ight now, in the intimacy of this room with his friends, everyone knew who he wa
s staring at.
So in love I dont care what they say. I dont care if they talkin tomorrow
Cause tonights the night, oh oh oh oh, That I give you everything...
Her legs, her hips, her beautiful, confident face in the mirror, the way her hai
r fell whenever she moved. He couldnt breathe. He felt hot, dangerous. He was tur
ned on. He revved up even more when she looked at him through the mirrors reflect
ion, with that smirk she only revealed on stage. It was for him.
The dance ended before the song did, and Yonghwa cursed on the inside. They shou
ldve made it longer. Seohyun walked back to him with a slightly more confident ai
r to her. She sat back down beside him, while Sooyoung and Hyoyeon continued to
dance randomly but maintained their appeal.
Youre a good dancer. I liked it, Yonghwa whispered to her.
Thank you, Oppa, she grinned.
Suddenly Hyoyeon whipped around toward his dongsaengs.
Jungshin-ah, whos prettier? Sooyoung Noona or this Noona? she pointed to herself.
Jungshin, who was in some sort of trance jerked awake and blinked a few times at
them.
Uh, he tried to recover. Well, Hyoyeon Noona is very pretty when she dances, and So
oyoung Noona is pretty when she smiles.
Annio. Thats a safe answer, she continued. You can only choose just one. Whos prettie
r?
Jungshin was stumped. Minhyuk visibly rolled his eyes at his friend and scooted
out of the circle.

I cant answer that, he finally replied. I dont want to hurt any noonas feelings. Im so
ry.
It wont hurt our feelings, said Sooyoung this time. Just choose.
Seohyun spoke up. Jungshin chingoo, theyre asking you to choose your ideal type be
tween the two of them.
Jungshin looked to Seohyun for immediate help of getting out of the situation, b
ut Yonghwa was feeling very protective of her after her little show for him.
Dont look at Seo Joohyun. Shes my ideal type, he said sternly. Seohyun visibly blush
ed.

Jungshin contemplated for a moment before sighing and answering quietly. My ideal
type is Sooyoung. Im sorry Noona.
It felt as though all the air left the room for a few seconds. A grin spread acr
oss Sooyoungs face. It took a moment for Hyoyeon to recover, but she eventually d
id with a smile and a pat on Sooyoungs arm.
Meet Sooyoung. She would like to date with you for tonight, said Hyoyeon.
Jungshin smiled at Sooyoung timidly as she came to sit beside him.
Drinks, Jonghyun suddenly blurted.
What? everyone asked.
We need drinks. These snacks are too dry, he stated. Minhyuk was going to voluntee
r, but Hyoyeon interrupted. Ill go get them.
Yonghwa had the funny feeling she wanted to fume over Jungshins choice.
Ill show you the machine. Come on.
Jonghyun ushered her out of the room, and the air lightened a little bit, except
for Minhyuk who wasnt happy with how things had turned out.
And Im going to sit over here with my dry snacks and my drum set, Minhyuk muttered.
Yonghwa would talk to him about it later.
He leaned to whisper in Seohyuns ear. Take a walk with me.
She nodded in agreement, and they both stood up and left the room. He didnt care
if all eyes were on them. It was time to be a man about the situation.
.
So disappointed? asked Jonghyun.
In what? replied Hyoyeon boredly.
The drink machine was a floor down from the music room, and they walked side by
side, Jonghyuns hands shoved into his pockets, and Hyoyeons arms crossed. She was
feeling jealous, and he was feeling bored.
That Jungshin chose Sooyoung, he tried to make conversation. It seems like you real
ly liked him.
Hyoyeon thought for a minute, really thought. Annio. Not really. He just seems li
ke a really nice guy. Last time I was with him, he treated me really good. I tho
ught itd be nice to be like that again. I was too confident.
Jonghyun waited a beat before responding. Well, there are two other members in ou
r band who are available. You couldve dated any of us for the night.
She laughed. I dont know Minhyuk, but I know about him more than you. All I know i
s that youre a Busan boy.
We Busan boys are the best, he smiled coolly in his accent, which made her smile. E
very girl should know that.

Sure you are. But honestly, Ive barely seen you unless youre with the band.
Thats not an accident. The company says its to make me mysterious, but I think they
worry about other things.
Unable to shake your accent? She guessed, walking backwards in front of him.
Its shaken when it needs to be. That, and I was kind of a bad trainee in Japan.
Her eyes lit up in curiosity. Bad? Now Im intrigued. Did you have a girlfriend?
Dae. A couple, he shrugged. When we came back to Korea, I broke up with the last on
e.
I dated a lot too before. Even a foreigner.
And now, here we are. Jonghyun stopped short of the drink machine. Musicians who ca
nt even go on a date with the thousands who love us.
Im from SNSD. You mean millions, Hyoyeon corrected him cheekily.
They both laughed.
So now that we know each other a little better. Why not choose me? he leaned again
st the wall in between the machine and a door into another room. His Busan accen
t was in full swing.
You? she was amused. You wanted to get me alone, didnt you? Am I suddenly your ideal
?
Yes and no, he answered both questions, but Im curious about something. About you.
Get to the point, Hoobae.
Jonghyun pushed himself off of the wall and stepped closer to her. He was a man
right then, strong and unashamed. Hyoyeon sunbae of SNSD, can I kiss you?
Kiss? Hyoyeon took a short moment to think. She was no longer jealous, and he was
no longer bored. Now, they were just two mischievous natured people standing in
the hallway of an empty building in the middle of the night. Ok.
Jonghyun looped an arm around the small of her back and pulled her close. They s
miled amusingly at each other before their lips crashed against each others. Thin
gs became chaotic as Jonghyuns hands moved around, and Hyoyeons hair became wild,
getting in the way of their kissing. He spun her around, backing her into the cl
osed door. She used her free hand to feel for the door knob, and when it opened,
she fell back into it and started laughing.
Be careful! Jonghyun said grinning before diving in for another kiss.
The room was dark, and they continued to kiss as they shuffled into the room, tr
ipping over whatever was blocking their path. They erupted into more laughter.
Are you ok? they asked simultaneously. The answer was yes.
They remained there on the floor, propped up against odd furniture, and Jonghyun
took the lead once again. He gingerly grabbed her face, and kissed her deeply.
Time stretched on and on until both seemed satisfied.
So, Jonghyun grinned. Do you like me now?

Hyoyeon leaned closer. Not a chance. But youre a good kisser for a hoobae.
Eventually, they had to leave before someone came to look for them. They closed
the door, fixed their hair and clothes, and retrieved drinks just in time before
Minhyuk wandered down the hall looking forlorn.
Whats up? asked Jonghyun nonchalantly.
Where were you two? It doesnt take that long to get drinks, said Minhyuk.
We were kissing, replied Hyoyeon with a straight face.
Minhyuk scoffed and then laughed in amusement.
Really, we were, said Jonghyun in an equally straight face.
Yeah, Hyung, in your dreams maybe.
Jonghyun-ah, we just cant win can we? Hyoyeon patted him on the shoulder and walked
ahead, juggling three drinks. Jonghyun had the other four.
Anyway, we only need 5 drinks. Hyung and Seohyun took a walk.
Ah, good! Hyoyeon cheered. By the time they come back, they better be holding hands
. Minhyuk, youve been lonely tonight, huh?
What? No, Im fine, Noona.
Jonghyun, should I kiss Minhyuk too? she asked, sending him a significant look.
Annio. I should be your first and last kiss of the night, he responded happily. Dont
make me jealous.
Minhyuk looked back in forth in between them and shook his head. You both are tak
ing the joke too far. He took his drink, opened it, and took a large gulp.
Chapter 11: Like and Love

Seohyun stopped in her tracks. Even with her new discovered confidence her unnie
s had given her, she still felt as though her heart was tugging her opposite dir
ections. What had seemed like a moment of clarity back in the music room now see
med like a decision made by someone else. They were down the street from the bui
lding, dim streetlamps the only things keeping them company.
Yonghwa continued walking, assuming that she was keeping up, but eventually he t
urned to find her shifting from foot to foot hesitantly.
Oppa, what are we doing? she asked frowning at him.
Were talking a walk.
Annio, I mean, why? What are we doing? What are we trying to accomplish tonight?
Yonghwa frowned at her and stuck his hands in his pocket. He seemed to think har
d about something before meeting her eyes. I guess I should be honest with you be

cause I think thats what youre asking for.

She wasnt sure if it was or wasnt, but she wanted to listen to him anyway. He kept
his distance as if clarifying something himself.
He sighed and became serious. The truth is, I think we have some unfinished busin
ess. At least I know I do.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. Unfinished business? What did he mean?
I saw you on TV, when you said you never had feelings for me, said Yonghwa after a
while.
Her breath caught in her throat.
So now she would have to explain to him. The only problem was, she didnt know wha
t to say or what to explain. It had been true when she lifted that X, turning down
the notion that she ever had real feelings for him. She had programmed herself
to not feel anything special when it came to Yonghwa, and had been successful at
it until tonight, she knew that now.
I cant pretend I wasnt surprised, but I didnt think Id feel so strange about it, he fi
nished.
Did you ever have real feelings for me? she asked quietly.
He looked at her quizzically. Yeah, I wrote two songs about you. Well, one and a
half. That gives it away I think.
How? How do you know it wasnt just the show manipulating us? she inched into the re
al question further. The question she had constantly asked herself over and over
again when it first ended.
I dont, he replied confidentially. I dont know at all, but manipulation or not, I lik
e you.
I like you. Those words sent her heart rampant in her chest. He liked her. He ha
d feelings for her. He wanted to be with her.
Even after a year, I still like you, he continued, approaching her. I follow everyt
hing you do, even when I dont mean to. I still get jealous, I still look at our p
ictures, I still hold on, even up until the moment before you called me. I know
dating is off limits, but even still, I cant stop my heart from telling me how mu
ch I miss you.
He stopped her right then. Seo Joohyun, I was your fake husband, but I was more l
ike a boyfriend, right?
Dae, she admitted.
If you didnt like me, had no feelings for me at all, how you did end up feeling co
mfortable enough to hold my hand and call me oppa that special way you do? To lo
ok into my eyes that way you do?
Seohyun sighed and looked up at him. Oppa, I dont have the answer. It confused me
a lot. It still does, when I allow myself to think about it. You made me laugh s
o much, feel pretty, fun. I was always excited to see you, to talk with you, exp
erience whatever activity that was planned for us to do. That night we held hand
s, my heart wouldnt stop pounding. I thought I was sick, and I never get sick.

And what are you feeling now?

I dont need a boyfriend right now.
Dae, I know. Joohyun never wants a boyfriend. He practically shouted the words in
annoyance.
I cant decide what I want, she said slowly.
Then let me help you. Be with me tonight, and maybe your heart will reveal someth
ing, he pleaded. Dont you trust me?
Dae. I trust you more than anyone, she stared at the ground, her voice almost as w
hisper.
Then let me show you how I feel, if only for the length of this walk. Give me per
mission.
There was only one thing she could do other than speak. She was trying this new
thing, you see, where she went with the flow of things. Maybe this time, she cou
ld have no regrets. She moved closer to him and looked into his eyes. He was so
captivated by her face, he was surprised to feel her soft hand slide into his an
d take hold. Her hand grasped his gently, but he tightened the grip as if hed nev
er let go.
With unspoken words, they began walking together in silence again. It was a heav
y silence, but her head was still reeling. She was holding his hand, and she had
made the first move. She wanted this, to be walking with him, with everythingwel
l, mostly everythingout on the table.
Oppa, she started, lets forget about what I said that time, on Happy Together. I fee
l too regretful about it.
He lifted up their clasped hands to show her. Its already forgotten, Hyun.
She nodded in understanding and saw the blissful grin spread across his face. It
made her grin too. She wondered what he was thinking. Maybe he was wondering wh
at she was thinking as well. She tried to send him a telepathic message. I misse
d this so much, Yong. I missed us.
He apparently didnt receive it. He continued to grin staring straight ahead.
Whats your favorite thing about me? he asked her.
It didnt take her long to answer because the answer was so obvious. The look you g
et, when youre singing to the audience.
I mean physically. What do you like about me?
Hmm, she thought, poking out her lips. I like it when you smile.
My smile? Really?
Dae. Especially your teeth. And your cheeks.
But why my smile?
Its charismatic, and it tells me how happy you are. Whats your favorite thing about
me?

Everything, he blurted. I love everything about you.

Oppa, love?
He became shy, side glancing over at her. Yes.
She let the word hang in the air. She had not expected such a bold statement. Bu
t then again, he said he wanted to show her how he felt. Why would he hold back?
Again, more silence between the two of them. She had the urge to lean on his sho
ulder as he cradled her. It took her awhile before she became aware of how far t
hey had walked from the music building, and how the streetlights became brighter
and the buildings became higher.
We are we going?
I dont know.
We should probably know, she replied nervously.
I dont care where we go. Just keep holding my hand.
Seohyun waited a beat. What if someone takes a picture? What if a reporter finds
out?
Yonghwa and Seohyun, Yonghwa mused. Relationship a Reality.
What? she laughed.
You try it, He urged. Think of a headline.
Hmm, she thought. Im not good at this.
Just try. Its fun.
Yours was really good. I cant come up with anything.
Joohyun-ah, youre a genius. Come up with something.
Innocent maknae Seohyun caught dating rocker leader Yonghwa, she grinned embarrass
ingly. Not very good, right? Maybe something like Yongseos Secret Love Reunion.
Joohyun, are you saying you love me? he smiled cheekily. She whined in embarrassme
nt, pushing him away, but he wouldnt let go of her hand.
But Oppa, truthfully, reading headlines like that wouldnt be very fun, she frowned.
Itd hurt a lot of people. Things could get bad, right?
Lets not worry about those things unless we have to and enjoy our time while we ca
n. Sing me a song.
Sing me a song instead. So that I wont feel nervous.
He smiled at her and pulled her even closer. Lets sing together.
There was a light debate over which song to sing, but there was only one song sh
e could really think of. The one he had written for no one but her. Only her. Th
eir song.
Theres still some awkwardness, right? So sing me, she said shyly, staring at her sh

oes, Banmal Song.

He gave a surprised expression, which made her a little nervous. Had he forgotte
n the lyrics? Banmal Song?
Dae, she continued shyly. Or if we want to be formal, For First Time Lovers.
He laughed now. To the world, its For First Time Lovers, but to us, its Banmal Song
. Thats what my heart calls it.
Oppa, your lines are too cheesy, she blushed, but she still liked it. He began to
sing, and she joined in when it was her turn. They sang quietly together as they
walked together, side by side, hand in hand, bumping shoulder to shoulder. So t
his was what it was like to go out on a date with someone without cameras follow
ing, without people gawking at them in fascination. To feel like those dandelion
seeds she had used for a metaphor to describe like and love. This night was so magi
cal, it made her giddy inside. It would not always be like this, she knew that.
At some point, the sun had to come up and things would have to return back to no
rmal.
But for now, it was only 2 in the morning. It was still night, and she was still
with Yonghwa.
Chapter 12: One Time
Seriously, Yong oppa, Seohyun said to him after awhile. We have to know where were g
oing.
Hyun, dont get upset, but I think were lost.
What?!
The panic in her large eyes made him crack up laughing. Im just kidding. I know wh
ere we are.
She slapped him on the chest with her free hand, and his heart began to pound ye
t again.
They were reaching civilization by this point, and in a couple of blocks, they w
ould be identifiable in a heartbeat the minute anyone saw them. What had started
out as a regular walk with no aim of an actual destination turned into a search
for him. Here was one place he did want to go, and he wanted to go there on thi
s night where she was by his side.
I want to check out this one place a few blocks from here, he explained. We always
drive past it, but Ive never been inside.
We cant just walk in. Wed be spotted right away. Plus, its really late, almost 3 in
the morning. Everyone will worry about where we are.
They havent called us yet, which means theyre doing fine. I dont want this night to
end yet so come with me to this place. Just once. One time.
She whined in her throat, but eventually agreed. But we dont have disguises.
Lets find some.
He dragged her down the street until they reached a well-lit area, searching for
a store that would still be open at this time of night. Right when it seemed do
wnright impossible to find one, there was one open, cluttered-looking shop.

Yonghwa took his glasses from his backpack and put them on to go inside, but Seo
hyun took them from his face. Ill go in. I dont want to stand out here alone.
He was hesitant to let go of her hand, but she reassured him with her eyes that
shed be back soon. Ten minutes later, she emerged with hats, a black bobbed wig,
and a pair of glasses for herself.
You bought a wig? he asked in amusement.
Oppa, its for you, she replied, sticking it half-hazardly on his head. He laughed a
nd straightened it out. After joking around, they put on the proper disguises an
d walked several more blocks until they heard a loud bass sound and saw a group
of people hanging out in front of a building surrounded by closed shops.
It was an underground music venue where Korean Indie bands usually played. Yongh
wa had always wanted to go there after having passed it in the van several times
. He always imagined a tiny stage where the crowd pressed against it, dancing an
d giving over their bodies to the music. That was one thing he loved about being
in a band. The sound of the instruments and the delivery of the lyrics into the
microphone got the crowd so excited and crazy, that energy pushed and pulled ev
eryone in the room.
Oppa, I cant do this, she suddenly clung to his arm. Theyll definitely recognize us.
Ill protect you. I promise, he assured her with a long gaze.
After a few deep breaths, she clung to him closer, and they entered into the clu
b. The deeper they went inside of the place, the more she pressed against him fo
r protection. The long, dark hallway opened into a large, dim chaotic room where
everyone moved and swayed to the band onstage. The band was loud and clumsy, bu
t it made Yonghwa smile. It reminded him of Japan.
Seohyun looked around with her mouth partly open. Yonghwa imagined her large doe
eyes behind her sunglasses blinking and taking in the atmosphere.
Are you ok? he shouted in her ear.
An uncharacteristic smile broke out across her face. Yeah! she shouted back in wha
t sounded like excitement. This is crazy!
I know! Ill get us some drinks.
No thank you! Ill wait here!
He flashed her a warm smile before heading to the bar. He was tempted to drink,
but he needed to be alert in a place like this. They could get caught at anytime
, and he needed to be able to run for it. But he felt like a man strolling up to
the bar, his girl waiting and enjoying the date. He felt like the person he alw
ays wanted to.

Seohyun was scared. And amazed. And somewhere in between the two. In fact, she w
as all over the place as the band in front of her slammed into their instruments
enthusiastically. A CN Blue concert was like this too but more professional and
controlled. Maybe the band playing was a new one who hadnt practiced much, yet s
till, the crowd was having the time of their lives. She chuckled at the thought
that some time long ago, Yong, Jungshin, Minhyuk, and Jonghyun once played this
way together as well.

She recognized that they were singing in bad English too, which pulled the whole
act together. From the words she could make out, they were doing a rather loud
cover of Lady Gagas Edge of Glory. She laughed out loud and stroked the locks of he
r fake wig.
Someone slid next to her near the wall she was leaning against waiting for Yongh
wa to return.
Never in a million years did I expect Joohyun-ah to step foot in a place like thi
s, said the male voice.
Seohyun looked up startled. It was her friend and college classmate, YoungJoon,
YJ for short. Any other time, it wouldve been wonderful to see him around, but no
w was absolutely not that time. YJ Chingoo, what are you
Doing here? I belong here. You, on the other hand, he snickered, then motioned ove
r to Yonghwa heading back her way with his drink. Let me guess. CN Blue leader?
Sssh! hissed Seohyun. YJ chingoo, please. Keep this quiet. Howd you know it was me?
How long have I known you? When its you, I know! YJ laughed.
Joohyun, is there a problem? Yonghwa asked, having approached to the two of them.
She was surprised to see he hadnt got alcohol but some water.
Seohun stuttered. YJ casually bowed to Yonghwa with a smirk. No problem here. Im J
oohyuns friend. We go to school together.
Yonghwa glared at him and turned to Seohyun. Who is this?
A school friend. Nothing else. Hell keep the secret.
Im not so sure, said Yonghwa.
YJ was still grinning, very pleased with himself, and she resisted the urge to s
nap at him.
Joohyun, I didnt know you had it in you. Sneaking around like this. With him! I th
ought it was just a show.
Joohyun, were leaving, demanded Yonghwa, but YJ cut in.
Ok, ok, relax, Hyung. I can call you Hyung, right? My names YJ. I like to joke, thats
all. I wont give you away.
The boys had a stare-down in front of her, but YJ was cowering under Yonghwas gaz
e. YJ did that to people. He could be funny but annoying when he wanted to be. S
he would never hear the end of this now. He would tease her about this date?no, o
uting with Yonghwa. To make things worse, she had to pee.
YJ, it was nice seeing you, said Seohyun quickly, but Ill talk to you later. Oppa, sh
e turned to Yonghwa apologetically, Ill be right back.
She teetered off to the bathroom hoping that when she returned, YJ would be gone
, and Yonghwa would be back to his cheerful mood. One thing was for certain thou
gh, she couldnt hold his hand anymore if YJ was in sight of her.

Yonghwa drank all of his water in a couple of gulps and sat his cup on a random
table. He watched the band finish up Edge of Glory and begin talking and joking wi
th the crowd. He couldnt enjoy anything anymore. Seohyuns friend was still standing
there, sticking his nose into other peoples business. Yonghwa wasnt one to willing
ly show jealousy, but he wanted to punch this boy. She had no business being fri
ends with boys, not unless they were his CN Blue dongsaengs who knew how to beha
ve around her. Seohyun still hadnt confessed to him, but Yonghwa was already feel
ing like a boyfriend.
I have to admit, Joohyun doesnt seem your type, said YJ after awhile.
What?
Well, shes kind of boring.
Yonghwa breathed slowly. What kind of person would say that about his friend?
YJ snickered. Thats why Im saying it, Hyung. Because Ive known her for so long. If s
he wasnt a singer, shed probably be a diplomat or something. She doesnt belong in t
his type of place. Please, Hyung, take care of her more than that.
Yonghwa paused. He didnt know this guys deal. Maybe he had a crush on Seohyun or h
ad a grudge against him, but either way, he didnt want to put up with it. Joohyun
belongs wherever she wants to go, and shes not boring. Maybe youre not as close as
you think.
Ah, you must think Im competition, Hyung.
Yonghwa snickered in spite of himself.
Its true, I liked her in middle school, Joohyun-ah has never wanted a boyfriend. B
ut over time, she just became a friend I couldnt get rid of, YJ laughed, and Yongh
wa glared at him. Men like you should date girls like this, YJ waved out to the cr
owd.
Im going to say this as nice as possible, YJ-sshi, but you arent familiar with me n
or do I like what youre saying about Joohyun. Shes not boring, but intelligent, sh
es not plain but pretty, and her voice hits every beautiful note possible. This i
s what kind of girl I find to be my type. We are here together because we want t
o be, and Joohyun trusts you to keep her secret. You and I have nothing else to
say to each other, so Id appreciate it if you let us enjoy the night and found so
meone else to hang out with.
YJ simply stared. I have a feeling you left out a bunch of swear words. Ok, I did
nt mean to cause trouble. Ill say goodbye to Joohyun and find my date.
Date? Seohyun had returned.
Dae, said YJ, shrugging. Hyung just told me to get lost. I wanted to tease you a bi
t, but I think I went too far. Ill see you at school?
Ok? Seohyun was a little confused but said her goodbye. When he disappeared into t
he crowd, Seohyun looked timidly at Yonghwa. Mianne. Was he too much?
He was more than that, Yonghwa sighed. Are there any other guy friends I need to kn
ow about?
Annio, she smiled. Hes harmless. Really he is.
He had a point though. Well leave after one more song. This isnt really our crowd,

is it?
Annio! But its fun. I always experience new things with you.
Neither Yonghwa nor Seohyun had been paying attention when the band had been ann
ouncing their next song that they were going to cover, but when the music starte
d up, both looked up in astonishment. They began playing One Time, his song.
This is our song, whispered Yonghwa.
I know. From the First Step album.
He looked at her in surprise.
I told you, Oppa! she shouted over the music. Im a Boice!
Oh, really? Then whos your bias?
Minhyuk, Jungshin, and Jonghyun oppa. All 3 are my biases, she joked.
What about the leader, Yonghwa? Shouldnt he be your bias? he pointed indignantly to
himself.
Ah, well its difficult. I was once married to the leader. Is it right for me to go
back? she didnt wait for his answer. Instead she proceeded to cheer loudly for th
e band.
He grabbed her hand and pulled her into the crowd. The awkwardness with YJ was f
orgotten, and together, they danced and cheered during his song. She was happy,
and it made him feel happier. How was it possible that he could fall in love all
over again with the same person?
After the song ended, they slipped out of club. They decided to walk all the way
to the Han River. There were other people this time but no one paid them attent
ion. Mostly, people had had too much suju and were stumbling along, friends tryi
ng to support them but were the same amount of drunk. There were even some forei
gners laughing out loud and going on about the Korean sky. One drunken foreign g
irl even wandered up him and Seohyun and told them in terrible Korean that they
were perfect and went on to say some stuff in English that none of them could ca
tch.
By the time they made it to the Han river, they, too, felt drunk. They were laug
hing and mimicking the voices of the drunk girl with the English accent and poin
ting up at the night sky. The best part was that no one noticed them.
Yooong, Seohyun giggled, throwing her hands up in the air and doing a spin. Were in
disguise. We can do whatever we want. What should we do?
What does Hyun want to do?
Hmm, she mused, as he claimed her hand. I want to sleep!
Sleep? Out of everything we can do tonight, you want to sleep?
Dae, very much.
Yonghwa looked around and then guided her over to a bench. Together they sat dow
n, and she leaned back against his arm around her shoulder. They stared out at t
he city lights reflecting off the river and felt a slight chill set in.

Oppa, she asked quietly. In ten years, where do you see yourself?
Still making music with CN Blue, he responded without hesitation. Ill be a good husb
and, and a fun dad. Ill teach my kids music, and theyll all travel with me when th
ey can. Therell always be music in our home. Never a silent day.
Ah, your wife will be exhausted, replied Seohyun with a sigh.
He smiled to himself, staring over at her shyly.
You would be exhausted?
Of course! Running after the children and their appa all the time. Itd drive a wom
an crazy.
Annio, he chuckled. Youd be running with us. Singing all the time. And dancing.
Seohyun grew quiet. He was referring to her, and he assumed she had picked up on
it. When we were married, did you ever feel exhausted?
Oppa, when you say it like that, it sounds real, she laughed comfortably.
He wished that one day, it would be. But that was a long time off. She still had
nt thoroughly confessed anything to him. He was the one speaking from his heart,
and she was along for the ride, but her heart was still closed in some way. He w
anted her to reveal more of what she felt.
Did you? he pressed on.
It was a good exhaustion. We were always laughing, and there was always a joke, o
r a fun misunderstanding. By the time I caught my breath, the entire day had gon
e by with you.
It would be the same, in the future, he replied. What about you, Seohyun. Where do
you see yourself in ten years?
The members and I always joke about being grandmothers generation once we get olde
r. As long as Im performing music, Ill be happy. Ill probably marry too, and take p
leasure in teaching my children how to sing and play piano. But Id make them wait
a little longer before training, if they wanted to be a performer. I missed a l
ot of precious time with my mother.
Well train the kids at home first and foremost and guide them very well so that wh
en they do train, it wont be so difficult for them. Well be a strong family. Suppo
rtive. He blurted, then realized that this should not have been voiced to her. He
was acting like they were already engaged.
She looked at him strangely, smirking, but he knew she wouldnt dare ask him the q
uestion. Are you talking about us getting married and having a family?
Seohyun, what kind of books are you reading these days? he changed the subject.
The book I was reading tonight is called How to Lead with Both the Heart and Mind
.
Sounds interesting, he lied. Whats it bout.
Well, it talks about the concept humans have of following the expressions of thei
r heart, essentially, doing things and making decisions based purely off of feelin
gs and morals as opposed to using logical reasoning where people make decisions

based on practicality. The book combines both ideas and explains that separately
, the heart and mind undermine each other, but if humans learn to use them toget
her, the decision or the action will most times be the correct one.
Her teacher speech ended, and he wondered for the 100th time since he had met he
r why she had not been a professor and had instead chosen to be a singer.
He blinked a couple of times. What happens if someone has a bad heart and an evil
mind? he questioned. What does the book say about that?
I dont know, I havent gotten that far, she replied, looking surprised that he was wi
lling to discuss a little more. Seohyun was interested in this sort of thing, an
d even if he wasnt, he wanted to show that he accepted her for who she was. But, I
think that person like that wouldnt succeed in the end. If you have a bad heart,
its not really a heart at all.
Right then, both of their phones went off. They answered at the same time.
Yoboseyeo?
Hyung, where are you?
Yonghwa hesitated. He didnt really want to go back to the group. He wanted to be
alone with her for as long as he could. Still, he heard Seohyun tell whomever ha
d called her that they were at the Han River in the park. Almost like magic, the
van appeared.
Yonghwa found himself claiming her hand again. If they had been looking for them
this long, already searching in the place they already were, it meant the night
was just about over. He wanted to feel the warmth of her hand before he had to
give it up. And he would eventually have to give it up.
Chapter 13: Kidnapped

Seohyun saw the van appear out of nowhere just as Sooyoung hung up on her. It ca
me to a halt in front of them, the van lurging forward slightly from the driver
slamming on the breaks. When the door popped opened, Minhyuk leaped out, surpris
ing them.
Seohyun grabbed her chest and exhaled. She remembered the wig and yanked it off
her head. Yonghwa took off his glasses and hat.
Are you kidnapping us? she exclaimed, happy to see the face of her friend.
She and Yonghwa approached the van to get in. When she stepped up, she saw that
Jonghyun was driving and Hyoyeon was in the front passenger seat. They, again, h
ad left the very back open to she and Yonghwa.
Kidnapping? More like searching for missing people, said Minhyuk. You guys were gon
e for almost two hours.
Wah! Youre holding hands. Are you dating? Sooyoung bounced in her seat next to Jung
shin whose hair was now swept up into a bun. He had his arm around her in the va
n.
Annio, Seohyun made a face and let go of Yonghwas hand. It wasnt that she didnt like
it, but she didnt want to show this side to her unnies or to the CN Blue chingoos
. The idea of dating also scared her no matter how nice it was spending time wit

h him, allowing him to like her and allowing herself to like him.
Yonghwa laughed at her expression and told everyone in the van, Idols cant date.
They cant hold hands either, added Jonghyun. Or kiss.
Yes, they can, replied Hyoyeon. They just cant get caught.
Take care of our Maknae, said Sooyoung. Shes the purest, you know.
Take care of our Maknae, Yonghwa poked Jungshin, who turned a shade of red. Seohyu
n turned red too. He looks cooler than he actually is.
They settled in the back, and Jonghyun drove off away from the river. In the dar
kness of the van, Yonghwa reclaimed her hand. She glanced over at him shyly. A l
ong time ago, she hadnt had an ideal type. The only men she had thought about car
ingly were her father and Ban Ki Moon. Now, there was Yonghwa. Dancing with him
at the indie club and talking about personal things with him in the park made he
r heart flutter.
She was a practical person, but everything he had said about families and about
music, she couldnt help but feel excited by his words, how he imagined their fami
ly would be like. Of course, she couldnt really show it at the time. She didnt wan
t to appear too eager for something she didnt know would even happen. She loved h
is playfulness and passion. She loved his determination and dedication to his ba
nd. She loved his warm hand in hers. She loved a lot of things about him, but sh
e wasnt sure what to do about it. Her practical side still held her back.
Either way, tonight had been a lot of fun. It was rare, getting to experience th
e city differently than moving schedule to schedule, restaurant to restaurant, a
nd secluding oneself in the dorm to pass out. But now, that was all she wanted t
o do. She was exhausted.
Right when she checked her phone for the time (4 oclock in the morning!), and Jon
ghyun turned up the song playing from Hyoyeons CD (Tonight, we are young), Hyoyeo
n turned around in her seat excitedly.Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Were going to
the beach!
What?! both Seohyun and Yonghwa shouted simultaneously.
Unnie, its really late, and the drive takes forever. We should go home. Seohyun was
aware that her professor voice had kicked in, but her unnies were taking things
too far.
Ill get us there in an hours time, said Jonghyun confidently, which made Seohyuns bra
in go crazy. Hed be speeding and breaking the law. He could get everyone into a c
ar accident. She exhaled through her nose.
Hyunnie, loosen up. Itll be fun to sneak away and see the ocean. Just a few minute
s. Maybe well catch the sunrise, said Sooyoung. Jungshin smirked at her.
Im with Seohyun. I say we go home, said Minhyuk.
Annio, its been decided. Were going to the beach, Hyoyeon wiggled her finger at ever
yone. If youre tired, sleep on the way there. Were done playing when were done playi
ng.
Yonghwa looked at Seohyun, squeezing her hand. We have been kidnapped, he smiled c
harmingly. This is all your fault.

My fault! How? she went along with his exasperation, trying to lighten her own moo
d.
You set up this whole night. Calling me and convincing me to step away from my mu
sic.
Your bandmate is the one driving, Oppa. Who really set things up?
Yonghwa leaned closed and whispered into her ear, sending goosebumps up her spin
e. Apparently getting turned on by him wasnt completely behind her.
Maybe I did. Either way, I have you longer, he told her.
He let go of her hand and put his arm around her, pulling her closer toward him.
He was being bold now, even if front of everyone. She wanted him to continue to
because she couldnt.
Are you guys behaving back there? Hyoyeons voice cut through.
Everyone in the van except Jonghyun turned around and smiled at them. Seohyun fr
oze, feeling guilty in Yonghwas embrace, but she didnt want to move.
Just make sure Jonghyun gets us to the beach quickly so we can come back home, sai
d Yonghwa, shooing their eyes away.

Seohyun told everyone in the van about their trip to the indie club, running int
o her friend, and the band playing One Time. Sooyoung and Hyoyeon were impressed t
hat Yonghwa had managed to talk Seohyun into going somewhere so cool, and his do
ngsaengs expressed jealousy of not being able to join them. Jonghyun was making
excellent time on the highways. No one had anywhere to go at 4 in the morning. I
t was simply them and the open road. Eventually everyone in the van fell silent,
and Yonghwa saw Seohyuns head bobbing back and forth. She snapped awake eventual
ly as if sensing his eyes on her.
He and Seohyun gazed at each other for a long time. He took her head, feeling he
r soft hair under his palms, and gently pushed it to rest on his shoulder. She g
rinned up at him, settled in comfortably, and closed her eyes to sleep.
Youre beautiful, he whispered before placing his head against hers. Soon, he was as
leep too.
Every once in awhile, hed hear whispering or a chuckle. Everyone was asleep, but
Jonghyun and Hyoyeon continued to have a quiet conversation on their own. Jungsh
in was sleeping with his head back against the seat, and both Sooyoung and Minhy
uk on opposite sides were using each of his shoulders for a pillow.
He looked down at Seohyun, still resting contently against him. So many things r
an through his mind in the quiet of the van as he was drifting back into sleep,
but there was one main thought that followed him into dreamland. He loved her. Y
onghwa loved Seohyun.

Chapter 14: Waking Up

Yonghwa woke up in a daze. The van had come to a halt, but there was noise all a

round him. He blinked a couple of times, looking around, and saw two people outs
ide, running around the van and smacking their hands against the windows.
Wake up! they chanted and screamed one right after another.
Slowly but surely, everyone in the van began to move around and awaken from the
noise.
Seohyun was the last to rise. She looked up at him, confused, and he grinned at
her lovingly.
WAKE UP! shouted a girl who then giggled. Yonghwa looked up toward the drivers seat
and front passenger seat. They were empty.
He looked out the window again and caught site of the silhouette of Hyoyeons long
hair.
What are they doing? asked Jungshin groggily.
Jonghyun and Hyoyeon, again, ran circles around the van, beating it with their h
ands and laughing.
Were at the beach! screamed Jonghyun.
Seohyun moved away from him as Minhyuk pushed open the doors and hopped out. Yon
ghwa checked his phone. It was almost 5 in the morning.
Everyone who exited the van received a chuckle and a shoulder slap from Hyoyeon
and Jonghyun. Then, they all went running toward the ocean. It was still dark ou
t, but there was a small slither of light. Yonghwa and Seohyun walked slowly, si
de by side. It was a bit chilly out now, and Seohyun hugged herself, stepping ov
er the rocks and sand. She mustve been extremely tired, Yonghwa thought. He hoped
his shoulder had been enough.
The waves continued to crash against the shore as Jonghyun, Hyoyeon, Minhyuk, Ju
ngshin, and Sooyoung kicked their feet in the water and chase each other around,
laughing out loud. This is what life shouldve been like all of the time. Having
fun with friends and feeling in love.
Yonghwa reached over slowly and gingerly took Seohyuns hand into his. Startled, s
he looked from their clasped hands up to him. He had a billion things to say to
her in this moment but didnt quite know how to say any of it. They held hands, lo
oking toward the sea and felt the cool breeze on their face.
And then he knew how to say it, kind of.
Joohyun-ah said Yonghwa lovingly. She looked up into his eyes, unsure. He took her
face in his hands, leaning down slowly and cautiously to kiss her.
It was supposed to be perfect. He could almost feel the wetness and soft cushion
of her lips on his.
But instead, Seohyun pushed him away softly, dropping her eyes. Dont do it.
I said I wanted to show you how I felt, he persisted, feeling the sting of her rej
ection.
She shook her head. I cant.
Seo he reached out to her but she backed away.

Youre not thinking, so Ill do it for the both of us, she said with an empty gaze, th
en turned and walked away toward the beach. Hyoyeon seized her and together, the
y began laughing with joy.
Yonghwa stood there in shock. What had just happened? Hadnt they been sleeping to
gether in the back of the van, and sharing whispers and grins right before then?
Hadnt he diligently fought for her affection all night? What had happened within
an hours time that she was pushing him away.
Apparently Jonghyun had seen the whole thing. He approached him, hands in his po
ckets, but Yonghwa stood motionless.
Hyung, you tried. Thats what matters. The boy said quietly. You had her for one nigh
t. You made more memories.
Yonghwa felt his heart breaking, a long crack spreading straight through the mid
dle. He mustve been the stupidest person on earth, chasing after a girl who was n
ever sure about what she felt. But still, he loved her. He loved Seohyun.
Come play with us, Jonghyun offered.
Yonghwa nodded, looking away from Seohyun. But he didnt follow Jonghyun back to t
he beach. He took one last look at the crashing waves before heading back to the
van.
..
Right there, on the beach, Yonghwa had just tried to kiss Seohyun, and she had f
lat out refused him.
She really wanted his kiss, but that was the problem. If she let him
hen there would be no going back. If they kissed, her emotions would
nd who knew what would happen to the both of them. She couldnt have
ight now. She just couldnt. She needed to focus on music, improving
age presence, and dance technique. That was what was important.

kiss her, t
take over a
a boyfriend r
her voice, st

Yonghwa would be able to understand, she thought. He was a musician too. Surely
he knew that a kiss meant that they were something, something that could possibl
y throw his career straight into the ground. She didnt want him to face that, nor
did she want CN Blue or her unnies to suffer. It was so complicated. A single k
iss, one moment of passion would throw their lives into chaos. Seohyun didnt like
chaos, externally or in her mind. Tonight, she had tolerated it, but the sun wo
uld rise soon.
It broke her heart to leave him like that, but she had to tell herself that he w
ould forgive her. It wasnt like he loved her. He would not try to hang on to her.
Maybe tonight was just what they needed. One more time together to separate on
their own terms. But why did it feel like it feel like she hadnt taken his terms
into consideration?
Seohyun walked away from him, hoping that the refusal would not break his heart.
He was Yong choding. Maybe he would bounce back from the moment and hold her ha
nd within the next five minutes. They could pretend like the almost kiss didnt ha
ppen.
After making her way to the water, she was happy that Hyoyeons smiling face greet
ed her first. Had it been anyone else, even Sooyoung, Seohyun wouldnt have been a
ble to pull herself together.

Yes, any minute, Yong choding

ater onto her legs. Then they
ll be special in each others
rtant. Yes, when the sun came

would take effect, and hed tease her by splashing w

could promise to let things go and be friends. Sti
lives, but nothing else. Their dreams were more impo
up, they could still have friendship.

Seohyun focused on Hyoyeons smiling face, but eventually Jonghyun came up and spl
ashed her unnie, and she went chasing after him playfully. He picked her up, thr
eatening to toss her into the water. He held her like that while she protested a
nd flailed, and Seohyun had to tear her eyes away. Since when had Jonghyun and H
yoyeon become close enough to act like that? She looked the other way, only to s
ee Sooyoung and Jungshin taking a stroll hand in hand heading away from everyone
. They were both smiling at each other, sharing some private joke. It was so eas
y for them to throw caution to the wind.
She turned around, not wanting to look into Yonghwas eyes, but there was no need
to avoid it. He wasnt there but had gone back to the van. The only person left wa
s Minhyuk, sitting in the sand with a slight smirk.
Hey, Seohyun approached him and sat beside him. She felt bad for not including him
much that night.
Hey.
Are you ok?
I should be asking you the same thing, Minhyuk smiled sadly at her.
Im fine, Seohyun said quietly. Just tired. I really want to go home.
By the time we get there, we should be waking up, Minhyuk joked, then sighed. There
wasnt anyone else that couldve come with us tonight?
Sorry, Minhyuk-ah. There was no one. I didnt think it would turn out like this.
Annio, he chuckled softly. Its ok. No one ever knows how these things will turn out.
But next time, Im bringing my own date. Ill rope Juniel into it if I have to.
They laughed together. Minhyuk picked at his shoe and Seohyun drew in the sand.
Seohyun-ah, Minhyuk smiled at her warmly. You should give Hyung a chance. I know it
seems dangerous, but you wont regret it.
She smiled back, feeling sadder than she ever had. But thats what makes me differe
nt. Any route that may be a dangerous one usually isnt suited for me.
For the rest of the time, they stared out at the water and were the first ones t
o see the small slither of light appear in the horizon. Seohyun wondered if Yong
hwa could see it from the van and mourned that fact that he hadnt come to claim h
er hand. Now he could never claim it again.
Chapter 15: Good Night

They didnt stay at the beach for long. When everyone collectively realized that Y
onghwa had gone back to the van, the frolicking and fun ended. The ride back was
just as quiet as the ride up, but everyone stayed awake. Yonghwa, who had been
sitting in the drivers seat listening to musicKorean music finallyhad driven them b
ack to the city.

Jungshin and Sooyoung chose to be the couple in the back this time, while Hyoyeo
n sat in between Minhyuk and Jonghyun. Seohyun embarrassing sat in the front, wh
ere she and Yonghwa kept stealing awkward side glances, and not the good awkward
. Several times she wanted to say something, to him, to anyone in the van, but s
he felt like she had ruined everything. Because of her, her unnies couldnt get cl
oser to the guys, and Minhyuk had been left out. Yonghwa had wasted a night on l
iking her.
Maybe there would be no friendship between them.
When they finally reached her dorm, she felt relieved. She wanted to go upstairs
, fall into bed, and pull the covers over her head. Tightly.
Everyone got out of the van and stood in a circle to say goodbyes. The morning a
ir was chilly, but the sun was creeping up, large and wide.
Yooonghwa, Sooyoung said musically, it was good seeing you.
Yeah, added Hyoyeon, shoving him lightly. I can happily say I spent the night with
the handsome CN Blue.
We have more to say, I think, said Jonghyun. A long night with SNSD.
Its sad though, right? said Jungshin. I feel closer to everyone. This seems like its
the last time well do this.
Closer? You and Sooyoung were holding hands, laughed Hyoyeon. Of course you feel cl
oser, Jungshin-chingoo.
It was fun, Sooyoung grinned at him, squeezing his hand.
I know it ends tonight, but Jungshin hesitated, If even for friendship, can I have N
oonas phone number?
Dae, of course. Id like yours too, Sooyoung replied. Both took out their cell phone
s.
Youve got my number, right? said Jonghyun to Hyoyeon, who nodded.
Text often. You too Minhyuk, she patted him on the shoulder.
Ok, Noona, said Minhyuk.
When Sooyoung and Jungshin were finished exchanging numbers, Sooyoung kissed him
on the cheek. Call me whenever you need Noona for anything. Or just to talk.
Dae! Jungshin smiled brightly, sweeping his bangs out of his face.
Seohyun longed to go inside. She couldnt bare this any longer. Everyone was so co
mfortable, maybe too comfortable, and the person who was her comfort was standin
g too far. Yonghwa, too, was watching all of this with a frowning expression.
Oh, poor Minhyuk. We shouldve taken care of you better. Youre too cute to pass up t
he opportunity. Right, Sooyoung? Hyoyeon asked, advancing on him.
Oh, I think so, Sooyoung began to advance too. Minhyuks eyes went wide and he backe
d up, but they both threw themselves onto him in a hug. Hyoyeon happily placed a
small kiss on his cheek. Minhyuk began to blush furiously.
Yah! You know what I told you, said Jonghyun sternly. He leaned down, offering his

cheek to Hyoyeon, but she pushed him away.

Pabo! she laughed.
He offered it again, and very quickly, she complied with a kiss.
Just then, Yonghwa approached her. Seohyun.
She turned toward him a little too fast. Dae?
He sighed and put on a smile. Seeing him do so almost made her cry. It was a good
night. Thanks for calling us.
Calling you, she thought.
Of course, she replied, forcing her own smile. We should keep in touch this time.
Id like that, he nodded.
Good night, she said.
Good night.
She turned toward the boys. Jonghyun Oppa, Chingoos! It was fun, right?
Dae! Call us again, cheered Jungshin. Honestly.
Everyone bowed and waved goodbye, and Seohyun and her unnies and Yonghwa and his
dongsaengs headed the opposite way to the van. Right before she reached the doo
rs, Yonghwa called out to her.
Hyun, wait! Theres this movie called Once, he breathed. And in the movie, these two
people meet through music, and they fall in love more and more with each song. B
ut at the end of the movie, after their job is done together, the girl decides t
o go back to someone else, even though she doesnt love him. And the guy goes off
to make his dream come true.
His voice was growing hoarse, and she wouldve scolded him for talking so much in
the cold had she not been enthralled in whatever he was trying to explain to her
.
We live our dream everyday, and I refuse to let go of that life, but I dont want y
ou with someone else after weve made this beautiful music together, after weve ope
ned our hearts.
Everyone watched them intently. She could almost hear Hyoyeon and Sooyoungs reeli
ng thoughts. Jungshin, Minhyuk, and Jonghyuns faces faded into the background.
Oppa, I dont understand.
Im saying I love you, he confessed. Im saying to not be a fool. What is your heart te
lling you?
She started to answer, but he stopped her. No, dont answer until youve listened to
it and learned it, and then speak.
Oppa, Im sorry, she replied quietly.
He scoffed and blinked away what looked like tears. Ok. Go inside, its cold. It wa
s nice to meet with you again. His tone was controlled, she noted, but it was cle

ar he was trying not to get choked up. He looked at Sooyoung and Hyoyeon. Take ca
re of her please.
She waved goodbye again to Jungshin, Minhyuk, Jonghyun and who smiled politely a
t her but it was not the friendship smile she was used to.
Once the boys were back in their van and out of earshot and they were in the apa
rtment lobby, Hyoyeon smacked Seohyun hard on her arm. What is the matter with yo
u?
Ow! Unnie!
He just confessed to you in the middle of a street with all of us looking on, and
you tell him that you dont understand and sorry! She shouted.
He deserves the truth, Seohyun said quietly.
Yeah, and you didnt give it to him, replied Sooyoung. She had never seen her unnies
look so disapprovingly at her the way they were now.
Seohyun felt herself about to cry.
We dont know what to do with you, Hyunnie. How old are you now? Youre not that litt
le girl singing nursery rhymes anymore. Its ok for you to love someone. Sooyoung g
runted and stormed toward the elevator.
They rode up in complete silence, her unnies focusing on anything other than her
. She thought about Yonghwa driving home and how much she had probably embarrass
ed him in front of everyone.
He had told her that he loved her and had meant it. She had saw it in his eyes a
nd understood that much. But what he had asked of her, could she really do it? I
t was like her book was teaching her. The decision should be made with both the
heart and mind, and right now, both were thrown into chaos and sadness.
The three of them entered into their dorm quietly to find Yuri asleep on the cou
ch. She mustve returned from her drama and collapsed right there in exhaustion. T
he smallest noise of Sooyoung shutting the door made her sit straight up.
Where have you guys been all night? she asked, blinking and rubbing her eyes.
We had dates, Sooyoung responded with a yawn.
With who? You took Maknae along? Yuri pointed mystically at Seohyun.
She had a date too, Hyoyeon shuffled toward their room tiredly.
With who? Yuris face lit up. Dont tell me, Jinwoon-ah?
Annio, not him, Seohyun heard herself say rather forcefully. Her three unnies look
ed at her.
Then who?
It doesnt matter. She made sure to tell him she wasnt interested, Hyoyeon said sombe
rly, turning away from Seohyun. Goodnight.
Goodnight, Sooyoung echoed.
Goodnight, called Yuri in English. Seohyun sat down miserably beside her on the co

uch, and Yuri stood.

Unnie, where are you going? Seohyun pouted.
Yuri looked at her confusingly. To bed. Where else? Goodnight, Maknae. Then she di
sappeared down the hall.
But its morning, Seohyun uttered, falling back into the couch.
Chapter 16: Listen

For the first time in her entire life, Seohyun was unable to sleep. She tossed a
nd turned in her bed and couldnt get comfortable until she sat up completely, onl
y to see Hyoyeon cozy and sound asleep in her bed across the room. The thick cur
tains were drawn shut, blocking out any light to allude that it was early mornin
g, but Seohyun knew the minutes were ticking away. Eventually, she gave up on sl
eep altogether.
She tried reading some of her book, but she couldnt concentrate. She kept re-read
ing the same paragraph over and over, not retaining any of its message. She reme
mbered sitting on the bench at the Han River where Yonghwa had pretended to take
an interest in the topic. But he had had genuine interest in having children wi
th her in the future. That made her shut the book.
She wasnt feeling hungry but thought she ought of eat some sort of breakfast. She
blended some apples and milk, hoping it would settle her body, but it didnt work
. She paced around the living room quietly sipping from her mug, hoping that no
one would wake up. She remembered making the drink for Yonghwa on their show and
recalled watching the episode and blushing when he had commented that he loved
watching her back in the kitchen.
She tried listening to music, and at 6:30 in the morning, she grabbed a sweatshi
rt and took a walk. It wouldnt have been dangerous if she was an ordinary person,
but she was Seohyun of Girls Generation. Anyone could kidnap her off the street,
and it wouldnt be the fun kind that their friends had done only a couple of hour
s ago. Still, she didnt care. She had to settle her mind.
Her nature sounds music came to a halt through her headset as she walked, and he
r favorite song, Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson began. Seohyun had every word of the
song memorized and knew its meaning well. It was the song that motivated her to
chase her dreams, to be ok with stepping away from her mother and letting he fat
hers hand go to achieve something great. But now, the song seemed to be telling h
er something different.
Sooyoung was right. She was no longer a child, no longer the same nave girl who t
hought a book could explain even the simplest thing. But no book she had read ha
d yet to explain the feeling that was happening inside of her as the song played
on. What she did know was that she was a young woman whose fathers hand wouldnt s
uffice any longer.
There was only one hand she wanted to hold, one person she wanted to rest agains
t. There was one guy she wanted to cheer her loudest for, one name she wanted to
call out lovingly. And his guitar, his music, she wanted to protect that more t
han anything. How could she sleep when she had left a piece of herself with this
person? Her heart felt ready to burst as adrenaline rushed through her veins. H
er head told her to go. Go as fast as she could. Her feet carried her where she
wanted, needed to be.

Sooner then later, she reached a familiar building, entered, took the elevator,
and arrived outside of the door, breathing hard. She rang the doorbell several t
imes. After about 3 minutes, Jungshin answered the door, his tall stature hunche
d over, hair all over the place.
He yawned and blinked several times before realizing who it was. Seohyun? What ar
e you doing here?
Im so sorry. Can you wake Oppa for me? Please.
Already awake, a voice came from behind Jungshin. Yonghwa appeared, and the adrena
line pumped faster. He looked wide awake. Seohyun, please tell me you didnt walk o
ver here.
She entered. Oppa, please, she started quietly, I need to say something.
You couldve called. Why were you walking by yourself? Yonghwa scolded.
Jungshin looked at the two of them, then shuffled back to his room.
Oppa, please, listen to me. I lied to you, she started to cry. I lied because Im sca
red. I didnt want things to go further than we could handle, but I did what you a
sked. I listened to my heart. And it told me that I needed to be here, with you.
My head agrees too.
There was a long pause before Yonghwa cracked a smile and shook his head. She wi
ped at her tears. What? Was he telling her it was too late to go down that path?
Come with me. He took her hand gingerly. I want you to listen to something.
He led her into his bedroom and closed the door. She sat down on his bed while h
e took his headphones from his desk and dangled them in front of her. Almost imm
ediately, she felt comfortable.
I just finished this song, he said quietly. The minute I got home, it just all rush
ed out, everything that I feel. Everything you just told me. Its called Listen.
She took the headphones from him and slowly placed them on her head. He pushed p
lay on his computer. A beautiful melody filled her ears, a beautiful mixture of
the guitar, drums and bass like a heartbeat, and Yonghwas voice, singing the word
s of their night together. In the lyrics, their story played out like a movie. H
er smile and hesitation, his confessions, what happened at the beach, all of it.
She closed her eyes and let the music flow through her. When it came to an end,
her eyes flickered open and landed softly on his.
So, what do you think? he asked.
I love it, she whispered. And I love you. Oppa, I love you.
The sun was coming up all over the city, and soon it would rest on Yonghwa and S
eohyun sharing their first intimate kiss. It would work its way along the curves
of his fingers gently holding her head, highlight the brown in her hair as she
moved her lips and tongue with the rhythm of his, and trace their bodies pressed
together in an embrace. And if and when they pulled away, it would shine on bot
h of their faces as they faced the music of their feelings and actions together.
And the music to be faced was beautiful.

Fin.