THe weekly sHpiel

July 5th, 2014 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret

table of contents
1 Front Page
2-3 Sports
4-5 Culture
6-7 Meet Your Staff
8 New
9 Announcements
a brief introduction
week in review
1 vol.1
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BREAKING NEWS: THE SHPIEL RETURNS FOR THE BSE 2014!!!
-Maya Leibmann
The campers arrived on a rainy Tuesday
meeting up and unpacking bags. New
campers were made to feel at home, and
returning ones revived memories. The
next day, everyone was eager to try the
new showers. That night was chug
intros, which is always more a comedy
than anything. Thursday the LITs went
on a hike and had a fancy dinner, while
the young campers enjoyed fun
programming and activities.
Hello fellow Shpiel lovers,

Welcome to the first edition of the
second season of The Weekly Shpiel,
Camp Kinneret's very own weekly
newspaper!! Here at Camp Kinneret, we
pride ourselves on encouraging creativity
amongst our campers in every way
possible. The Shpiel is a great example
of the creative talent we have at this
camp; a gathering of so many amazing
writers, hilarious comedians, dedicated
sports journalists, and detailed reporters!

This year, we are so excited to see the
Shpiel go above beyond! With brand
new reporter pens and notebooks, we
can't wait to see what our Shpiel writers
have in store for us. We've heard
rumblings that the Shpiel will even be
bringing a new award to Camp Kinneret
- the Golden Toothbrush award for the
most hygienic camper each week!

We'd like to give a huge shoutout to Sneezy (otherwise known
as Noah Sniderman, your Kochot unit head) for being the
mastermind behind this wonderful Kinneret tradition!! This
year, with Simon and UB joining the editorial team, we know
this will surely be the BSE for the Shpiel!

Chazak V'ematz!

Shoshi + Guy
Sports
July 5th, 2013 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret
2 vol.1
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KSC COMBINE 2014
Reporters in the Field

John Sochaczevski,
Ashkelon Kings

On his newfound height
Its going to be insaneIve
got six inches on the next
tallest player and hes on my
team. In football, I can run
deep, catch high! In ultimate
frisbee, I can catch em high.
Ive been working on my
ultimate frisbee over the
year.

Evan Sinclair, Ashkelon
Kings

On favorite kind of cheese
Pizza cheese.


Drew Bornstein, Free Agent

On what he expects out of
new sponsorship with
Orthodontists of America
Better teeth.






Jacob Kreisman, Knights

On Knights chances

Were coming with the
attitude that were trying to
win, we dont want to nish
last, were tired of that. Were
in a position to win now,
were not waiting for the
future. Our time is now.
Sports
July 5th, 2013 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret
3 vol.1
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Chief Editor of Shpiel Now With The Rams?
By: Yung Sneezy

Assistant GMs are all the rage in the KSC, and the Ramat-Gan Rams are the latest team to jump on
the trend. However, their chosen candidate has the critics talking. Writing the Shpiel and being part
of the Rams front office is a conflict of interest, Eagles GM Jesse Shuster-Leibner has whined, with
tears in his eyes on crust on his lips. Others have remained neutral on the topic, such as Vicky
Borenstein who was quoted saying What? Oh, I dont care at all.

Yung Sneezy is now both the AGM of the Ramat-Gan Rams and the Chief Editor of The Weekly
Shpiel. He is even writing this very article in the third person. Can such a thing be allowed? Is it
dangerous to fair competition? Will the power get to his head? This journalist thinks the answer is
yes. What if Sneeze was the publicly state that no other KSC team can offer players clear-headed
management, transparency, and a team-oriented atmosphere like the Rams? What if he were to
promise KSC free agents a cover story on The Weekly Shpiel if they were to sign with the Rams?
The possibilities are endless.

Of course, conflicts of interest are nothing new to KSC management. Shuster-Leibner himself has
faced accusations of tampering with free agents using his power as Rosh Avodah to promise no
shower duty for a week. Current Knights GM Val Trojman leads services every shabbat, and some
have suggested she may use her powers of faith and religious fervour to her clubs advantage. At the
end of the day, such is the nature of a semi-professional league in which managers double as
councillors outside of Chug B hours. Where though, shall we draw the line? Yung Sneezy also
happens to be the CEO of Sneezus S&E talent agency, responsible for negotiating many KSC players
contracts and sponsorship deals. Unfortunately, it seems as though it is too late, and his profound
power has already been cemented. At this point, the only viable option a star KSC player has left, is
to request a trade to the Rams and refuse to play until his or her GM has relented. Your are either
with Yung Sneezy or against him, and you dont want to be against him.
KSC COMBINE QUOTES
-Benji Budman

"Always wanted to try it
Drew Bornstein
Doesnt give up
Daniel Fogel
No weaknesses
Raymond
Good at dodgeball and football
Tyler Ponak
Hockey is my strongest, I think Im fast
Ben Korne
Doesnt crack under pressure
Jamie Savelson
Was a king last year
Rachel Hadef
I try the best I can to win, I work as a team
Obi Berlach
I try to do everything myself
Jordan Grosz
I like how competitive hockey is
Andrew Korne
Lets interview you this time
Sean Herscovitch
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vol.1
4
Culture
July 5th, 2013 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret
Meet your first Shabbat Best Bed
winner: Tyler Ponak!
gossip girls
RebStarr's BF?
1. Cabin 8 is looking for Rebecca's boyfriend.
Last year Eli took Rebecca to a dance but now he
is supposedly dating Kelly! Some people say that
this isn't true but some say differently. Is Eli
Rebecca's boyfreind or is he dating Kelly? What
do you think?
XOXO Gossip Girl!

Phoebe and the Mystery Man
2. Every time Phoebe goes to the Chadar, a man
with red-ish orange-ish hair puts soap on her.
Does anyone know who he is? Also, where is
Chris?
XOXO Gossip Girl!

Staff Lounge Mystery
3. When staff go into the staff lounge, do they
close the door? What happens in the staff
lounge? Do you know?
XOXO Gossip Girl!

Staff Couple Brewing
4. Rumour on the street is that Erin and Rogers
are an item. How long do you think it'll take until
they become offish?
XOXO Gossip Girl!

The Future of Waterslides
5. Rumour on the street is that water slides are
cancelled because all the money was spent on the
shower repairs. Is this a good trade-off?
XOXO Gossip Girl!
Why should I bother brushing my teeth?

Whats the point of showering anyways?

While these may have been reasonable questions for a camper to ask in the past, this
summer they have been rendered illogical jibber-jabber. Why is that you may ask?

Well, it is because of the launch of the Golden Toothbrush Award! For the rst time in
Kinneret history, this summer The Weekly Shpiel will be presenting the Golden
Tootbrush end of the summer award to the Gib-Gosh or Kocohot camper who nishes in
rst place upon the Hygiene standings. Every issue, the Hygiene standings will reect
an updated tally of hygiene points, with morning-teeth brushing being valued at one
point, evening teeth-brushing at two points, and showering valued at three points.
In order to register your points, check
in with your cabin staff and give them
an honest report on the number of
times you brushed that day, and
whether you showered or not.

May the cleanest kid win!
golden toothbrush award
best bed winner!
Culture
July 5th, 2013 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret
5 vol.1
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Fashion Dos: The #1 fashion dos are striped t-
shirt and camou!age

Fashion Donts: The #1 fashion dont is socks
with crocs and yellow shirts because they are
not in style for the the summer!

Hot Or Not:

Blue and Red t-
shirts are totally
hot right now!
Polka dot pyjamas
de"nitely not!

UB = HOT!
Burdo = NOT!

Shorts out, Jean shorts in!
Tuesday: Dinner was chicken fingers. They
were nice and crunchy on the exterior, but a
tad dry in the centre.

Verdict: (7/10 Not 2 shabby)

Wednesday: Breakfast was aight. We had
light fluffy french toast without the light and
fluffy. But drowning the meal in syrup made it
a chewy delight.

Verdict: (5.5/10 Decent)

Lunch was #primetime: fettucine alfredo. Lets
start with the sauce. The alfredo was creamy
and not too watered down. The fettucini was
boiled to perfection. Although this was a relish
combination, the garlic bread was meh.

Verdict: (8/10 Oooooh)

Cookout dinner was classic, as always. It was
your regular camp smokey hotdog and charred
burgizzle. The outdoor atmosphere enhanced
the feel of a family barbeque- but lets be
honest. The fries kind of sucked and there was
no mayo.

Verdict: (6.7/10 Kinda sweet, but were talking
food)

Thursday: Breakfast was a little too greasy
for my taste. I was hesitant to try it but Viner
talked me into it. Egg and cheese burritos were
a nice surprise but I couldnt eat more than
one.

Verdict: (5/10 Naw)

Lunch was grilled cheesenuff said.

Verdict: (10/10 Duh)

Dinner was meatballs. They were pretty nice,
because Im a fan of meatballs. They went
well with toast, and the garlic bread was better
than Wednesdays.

Verdict: (7/10 I love the new kitchen staff)


culinary critics
Meet Your Staff
vol.1
head staff waterfront
specialty
Camp Director
Guy Korngold
Do it!
Associate Camp
Director
Shoshi Rothchild
The worst day at
camp is still better
then the best day in
the city
When youre nished, share this Shpiel with a friend!
Vicky
Bornstein
NO RUNNING
ON THE
DOCKS
Yaara Avitzur
Hakuna
Matata!
Rosh Music
Daniel Witkowsky
A wizard is never late, nor
is he early; he arrives
precisely when he means
to.
Adina Sugar
"Yoohoo big
summer
blowout!
Zach Savelson
You miss 100% of
the shots you dont
take.
Aliza Herzstein
Apple juice is my
favorite tuck item!
Tripper
Laxer
I didnt choose the
tripper life. The tripper
life chose me.
Tripper
Tzvi Gomberg
The chevra that trips
totether, sticks
together <3
Jacob Rosie
Rosenberg
I enjoy the company of
a solid utter board.
Waterfront Director
Michael Smilo
Smilovitch
I like screaming.
6
Program Director and APD
Dalia and Katie
This is going to be the best day of our
lives!
Meet Your Staff
7 vol.1
giborim goshrim
kochot LITS
When youre nished, share this Shpiel with a friend!
Matthew
Rogers
I have pretty
cool eyebrows
Sagi Kahane-Rapport
"My name is Inigo
Montoya. You killed my
father. Prepare to die"
Jesse Shuster-
Leibner
#hashtag
Jeremy
Ullman
"Look
everybody!
Elmo is a
reghter!
Ido Biran
I love falafel
balls.
Noah Sadaka
"Reality is
wrong, dreams
are for real"-
Tupac
Zoey
Krantzberg
"If Plan A fails,
remember that
you have 25
Sarit Cohen
Namaste
Eryn Syne
Slow and
Steady wins
the race.
Gabi Malek
I like frogs.
Kelly Epstein
I'm so fancy, you
already know.
Rosh Stack
Rebecca Starr
RABOTAY
Jess Burdo
Val Shoma'at?
Val Trojman
Yeah, go ahead.
Adam UB Ublansky
Gold all on my chain.
Gold all on my ring.
Gold all on my watch.
Don't believe me just
watch.
Robbie Sommer
Everyone you will
ever meet knows
something you dont."
Dalya Cohen
Oh my God, thats so
random
Hannah Epstein
"Everything in the world is exactly
the same."
!"#$ &'$()#'*
"If you'ie not
fiist, you'ie last"
- Ricky Bobby

Itai Gibli
Everybody
love
everybody
Simon Paransky
Life is like a box of
chocolates.
Phoebe Goldig & Elianna Diamantstein
Kinneret on the Kinneret.
Rosh Sports
Marlee Held
I love basketballs.
Giborim Unit Head
Jessie Gourdji
Good things come
in small packages!
LIT Unit Head
Josh Viner
Song that describes
me: "Club Can't
Handle Me" - Flo Rida
Goshrim Unit
Head
Eli Sherman
I like turtles.
Kochot Unit Head
Yung Sneezy
Turn left.
Justin Birbrager & Sam Silverstein

#Gainz
politics
Suspicion has been aroused in many Kinneret political circles. Concerns have been raised
about the propaganda, with the constant cheering of RAYMOND! throughout the camp. Is
this an ominous omen of underhanded schemes? Are menacing forces hammering Raymond
into our minds? The Shpiel shall investigate further.

In other news, more conservative campers are angered at many classic staff retiring. It is a
new era at Camp Kinneret.

News
July 5th, 2013 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret
8 vol.1
astro-news
When youre nished, share this Shpiel with a friend!
This week in observations:
In the night sky, right after
sunset, both Saturn and Mars
can be seen right near the 6-star
constellation Scorpio. If you
stand near mifkad and face
cabin 10, and try to block out as
much light as possible, you
might just be able to make them
out.
NHL
Stars receive J. Spezza from
Senators for three players and a
2nd rounder
Sabres receive J. Gorges from
Habs for a 2nd rounder
Avalance receive D. Briere from
Habs for P.A. Parenteau and 5th
rounder
Oilers receive T. Purcell from
Lightning for Sam Gagner
Ducks receive R. Kesler and a
pick from Canucks for N.
Bonino, L. Sbisa and picks
Predators receive J. Neal from
Penguins for P. Hornqvist and N.
Spaling
Flyers receive R.J Umberger
from Columbus for S. Hartnell
M. Havlat signs with Devils
J. Iginla signs with Avalanche
B. Richards signs with
Blackhawks
R. Miller signs with Canucks
T. Vanek signs with Wild
P. Stasny signs with Blues
J. Reimer requests a trade

NBA
Nets name L. Hollins head
coach
Bucks trade 2nd rounders to
Nets for coach J. Kidd
K. Lowry signs with Raptors for
4 years
Raptors trade J. Salmons and
2nd rounder to Hawks for L.
Williams and L. Nogueira
Celtics resign A. Bradley for 4
years
Cavs resign K. Irving for 5 years
Wizards sign M. Gortat for 5
years
S. Livingston signs with
Warriors for 3 years
free agency
Any More Annoucements?
July 5th, 2013 ! Mont-Tremblants Finest Newsmakers ! Camp Kinneret
9 vol.1
When youre nished, share this Shpiel with a friend!
SUBMIT YOUR ADS
FOR NEXT WEEK TO
SIMON OR UB BY
EVENING MIKFAD
NEXT WEDNESDAY!!!
COUPON GOOD FOR ONE
ADMISSION TO THE
NEXT SHOWING OF:
(Ol6k( (6vkI
ORANGE
POWERADE
NOW AVAILABLE IN TUCK
THE GOLDEN TOOTHBRUSH AWARD
PM TEETH BRUSHING - 2 POINTS
AM TEETH BRUSHING - 1 POINT
SHOWER - 2 POINTS
SPEAK TO
YOUR CABIN
STAFF FOR
MORE DETAILS