DAYTI ME DATI NG

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DAYTI ME DATI NG
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Daytime Dating - Never Sleep Alone
Copyright 2010 Love Systems, Inc.
All Rights Reserved

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DISCLAIMER
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This work is not to be considered professional, medical, psychological or legal advice. It is for en-
tertainment purposes only. Love Systems, Inc., or our associates, or afliates will not be liable for
any direct or indirect consequences that occur from the use of any of the ideas contained this book.
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CONTENTS
(cl i ck chapters bel ow for qui ck navi gati on)
Introduction






















DAYTI ME DATI NG
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PREFACE
How woul d I descri be Jeremy Soul i n dayti me dati ng?
A master of speech, thought and action. Let me expl ai n.
I t was on a col d wi nters day that I arri ved at Stockhol m i nter nati onal ai rport, pri med f or
my f i rst ever bootcamp as an i nstructor f or Love Systems, the most presti gi ous and re-
spected dati ng sci ence company i n the worl d. Bootcamps are i ntense trai ni ng weekends
where cl i ents l ear n about every aspect of meeti ng, dati ng and approachi ng women
typi cal l y usi ng bars and ni ghtcl ubs to practi ce. I knew thi s was goi ng to be l i f e-changi ng
weekend f or me as wel l as our cl i ents.
On my phone was the number of a true l egend, f amed f or bei ng the best dayti me pi ck up
arti st i n the worl d: Jeremy Soul . As I wal ked through the termi nal , I di al ed the number
and put the phone to my ear, not compl etel y sure what to expect.
Hel l o?
Hey, i ts Mr M here.
Hey mate, how are you? I m at the ai rport. Can you see me?
I scanned the area. And then I saw hi m. Across the hal l way, stood a short, average l ook-
i ng guy of Sri Lankan descent, weari ng j eans, a tracksui t top and prof essor-l i ke gl asses,
wi th a phone to hi s ear, wavi ng and l ooki ng di rectl y at me. My f i rst thought was, I s thi s
an academi c or one of the worl ds greatest pi ck up arti sts? Di d he l ook l i ke the stereo-
typi cal geek? Not qui te. A Casanova? Def i ni tel y not at f ace val ue. Wel l , not unti l l ater,
when I saw hi m work hi s magi c.
I had heard much about Jeremy. Thi s man was a wi del y revered Lothari o, earmarked by
respected members of the dati ng sci ence communi ty as one of the greatest seducers to
cl i mb i nto the i nter nati onal l i mel i ght.
As I approached, he smi l ed, put hi s hand out and shook my hand warml y. Over the next
hour, as we shared a taxi together, we shared our thoughts about dati ng sci ence, our
backgrounds. What struck me was how posi ti ve and wel l bal anced he was.
The f i rst ni ght we went out, I was standi ng next to hi m, wi th dozens of stunni ng Swedi sh
gi rl s around us i n one of Stockhol ms most excl usi ve bars. I made a comment to Jeremy
about how hot the group of bl ondes that were standi ng i n a ti ght kni t group i n the cor ner
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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was. I t l ooked l i ke an i mpenetrabl e f ortress and I d watched guy af ter guy get shot down
tryi ng to approach them.
Jeremy smi l ed, and wi thout hesi tati ng, wi thout bl i nki ng an eye, and wi th Spartan f ear-
l essness and conf i dence aki n to the sol di ers f rom the movi e 300, Jeremy wal ked towards
the group. But thi s i s where i t gets amazi ng.
The man wal ked ri ght i nto the mi ddl e of the group and conf i dentl y, wi th George Cl ooney-
esque charm, sai d to the most beauti f ul woman, I was standi ng over there wi th my
f ri end, I saw you over here and thought you l ooked beauti f ul . I had to come and tal k to
you. I t worked. The gi rl started beami ng f rom ear to ear and her f ri ends stood back, al -
l owi ng Jeremy space to conti nue to work hi s charm on her.
Three mi nutes l ater, Jeremy was l eani ng agai nst the bar havi ng an i nti mate conversati on
wi th thi s beauti f ul woman, hi s hand on hers, her eyes wi deni ng and her mouth i ncreas-
i ngl y aj ar wi th every f resh sentence he uttered. She had those puppy-dog eyes and the
l ook on her f ace that sai d, Who i s thi s guy and why am I so attracted to hi m ri ght now?
Despi te the f act that he had barel y i ntroduced hi msel f to them, the other gi rl s i n the
group knew that they coul dnt i nterrupt the i ntensi ty of the moment thei r f ri end was hav-
i ng wi th thi s perf ect stranger. Al l they coul d do was l ook on f l abbergasted: who was thi s
short, dark-ski nned man to apparentl y have bi gger bal l s than al l of the other tal l er, better
l ooki ng guys i n the bar, who surel y shoul d be the ones pi cki ng up thei r f ri end?
As I spent more ti me wi th Jeremy that weekend, I saw that i t wasnt j ust about the cour-
age he had i n moments l i ke that. I t was hi s abi l i ty to charm peopl e, to exci te thei r emo-
ti ons, to make them f eel appreci ated and understood l i ke no other, and to hel p them
become stronger.
Thi s was a man of acti on.
The f i rst ti me I heard about Jeremys dayti me techni ques, I was skepti cal . I had been
studyi ng dati ng and pi ck up sci ence f or years and I thought i t was i mpossi bl e to get
consi stent resul ts f rom dayti me approaches, especi al l y wi th a di rect approach. I wasnt
a bel i ever. Af ter spendi ng more ti me wi th Jeremy, I became one. He made me more than
that i n f act he made me a f an.
I travel ed wi th Jeremy the worl d over and he showed me what was possi bl e wi th dayti me
dati ng. He was meeti ng beauti f ul women on the street, i n parks, caf s, shoppi ng mal l s
and bookstores and they woul d end up i n bed wi th hi m at ni ght. Every ti me I met one of
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Jeremys gi rl f ri ends and asked hi m how they met, the answer was, i n the dayti me. As
I do wi th al l those whom I thi nk are great at dati ng sci ence, I sat hi m down, asked hi m
how he does i t and l i stened. And l i stened. And l i stened.
Thi s was a man of thought.
I count Jeremy as a work col l eague and one of my cl osest f ri ends. Together, we wal k on
a path of sel f -enl i ghtenment.
Thi s i s a man whom I respect and credi t wi th showi ng me what was possi bl e i n terms of
meeti ng women i n the dayti me. I have not met anyone wi th the same sort of ski l l that he
has i n the col d l i ght of day, unl ess they are peopl e that he has trai ned personal l y.
Thi s book i s Jeremys speech.
Read i t. Use i ts i deas i n your l i f e and i t wi l l hel p you real i ze your potenti al wi th women.
Gandhi s wi f e was once asked by a j our nal i st how he accompl i shed so much. Si mpl e,
sai d the wi f e. Gandhi i s congruent i n regards to hi s speech, thought and acti on.
And that i s how Jeremy has become the l eadi ng i nter nati onal authori ty on dayti me dat-
i ng. Speech, thought and most i mportantl y, acti on.
To my f ri end Jeremy Soul , I extend my heartf el t congratul ati ons and my utmost admi ra-
ti on f or your endeavor. I wi tnessed f i rsthand how much of a l abor of l ove thi s was f or you
and how i t represents the essence of what you have l ear ned the hard way over the years.
Rest assured that i t wi l l touch the l i ves of many men and women f or the better.
Mr. M
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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I NTRODUCTI ON
I f you tol d me years ago I woul d one day wri te a book on how to meet and attract women,
I woul d never have bel i eved you.
I was a terri bl y i ntroverted ki d. Everythi ng I ve done i n my l i f e si nce about age 12 has
been to try to buck that trend. When I was young, I thought that because I was short,
Sri Lankan and not a good-l ooki ng ki d, I coul d never be good wi th gi rl s. Then one day I
f ound Love Systems: I started l ear ni ng about how to meet and attract women ( what we
cal l game) , and my l i f e began to change.
I worked hard on mysel f f or years to get to where I am now: a f ul l -ti me Love Systems i n-
structor, travel i ng the worl d runni ng , spendi ng ti me wi th wonderf ul wom-
en and l i vi ng my passi ons. I cant tel l you how many ups and downs I ve had over the
years. But no matter how many ti mes I f el l off the horse, I kept getti ng back on i t, more
determi ned each ti me.
I have had more successes and f ai l ures i n dati ng than most peopl e I know. As the sayi ng
goes, To succeed qui ckl y, f ai l f ast. So I went out there, day af ter day, and made al l the
mi stakes I coul d. Then thi ngs began to cl i ck. Years l ater, I f i nal l y f eel l i ke I understand
f emal e psychol ogy and meeti ng and dati ng beauti f ul and i ntri gui ng women i snt a si de
i nterest or even my j ob; i ts j ust a part of my l i f e.
Now I teach men al l around the worl d how to meet and date beauti f ul women. I t i s i ncred-
i bl y rewardi ng to get emai l s f rom cl i ents who are getti ng marri ed, have f ound amazi ng
gi rl f ri ends, or are otherwi se experi enci ng al l the f un and j oy they al ways wanted.
Over the years, I ve had the honor of speaki ng at conf erences around the worl d on dati ng
sci ence, been the subj ect of a documentary by a presti gi ous London f i l m school , had an
anthropol ogi st research my teachi ngs, and been i ntervi ewed by a number of j our nal i sts
i n the medi a.
I ve al so been gl ad to have an i mpact on the l i ves of women I ve met and dated or those
who have read my wri ti ngs. Becomi ng better wi th women has made me a stronger man
and has al l owed me to hel p others to become stronger: more conf i dent, more determi ned,
more aware of how the worl d works and how to succeed wi thi n i t. No matter whether i t
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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was a one-ni ght encounter or a deeper and l onger-l asti ng romance, I endeavored to l eave
every woman I met wi th an experi ence that she coul d enj oy and grow f rom.
Li ke many men, I credi t the earl y devel opment of my current l i f estyl e al most enti rel y to
the i deas presented i n , the gol d standard of dati ng bi bl es f or men. Wi thi n a
f ew short months of l ear ni ng the i deas wi thi n i t, I was tal ki ng to beauti f ul women i n bars
and ni ghtcl ubs everywhere, taki ng phone numbers, goi ng on dates and bri ngi ng women
home wi th me.
But as I spent more ti me goi ng out speci f i cal l y i n the dayti me to meet women, I di scov-
ered al l sorts of nuances and subtl eti es I hadnt expected to di scover. I started experi -
menti ng, testi ng out new theori es and concepts to f i gure out what worked best f or dati ng
i n the dayti me compared wi th i n ni ghtcl ubs and bars.
I spent years honi ng these ski l l s and sti l l conti nue to do so now. I l ove meeti ng i ncredi bl e
women anywhere i n bars, cl ubs, through soci al ci rcl es and i n the dayti me but many
of the best I ve met have been through dayti me approaches.
I m proud of what I ve created because i t i s a si mpl e, eff ecti ve and honest method f or
meeti ng and attracti ng women i n the dayti me. Usi ng i t mi ght l ead to seemi ngl y natural i n-
teracti ons wi th beauti f ul women, but there i s a very sci enti f i c structure behi nd i t mean-
i ng that i t i s f ul l y l ear nabl e, by anyone.
Good l uck on your j our ney, f ri ends. I hope that I can aff ect the course of your l i f e and
hope to hear f rom you i n the f uture.
.z.z .z/1
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I am f orever gratef ul to my f ami l y, f ri ends and l overs who have i nspi red and gui ded me.
Thanks to my mother and f ather, wi thout whom I woul d never have had the strength and
resources necessary to do what I have done. Thanks to my brother and hi s wonderf ul
wi f e f or al ways bei ng there and al ways havi ng the strength of heart to keep us al l to-
gether, and to l i ttl e Jakob and Lukas who al ways make me smi l e and gi ggl e.
Thanks to the hi gh school crew f or gi vi ng me good ti mes i n my f ormati ve years; f or com-
i ng to tal k to women wi th me when none of us knew how but we sti l l tri ed. Thanks Phi l ,
Sami r, Ani sh, Sutha, Vi nny, Di l han, Sachi n and Cheups you boys are the best.
Thanks to the London crew: Mi ke, Andy, Juan, Ri ch, Darren and al l the other guys that
practi ced wi th me way back when we were al l soci al l y awkward but had f un nonethel ess.
Remember mi scal i brated Thursdays?
Thanks to the Love Systems crew, wi thout whom I woul dnt have the l i f estyl e, abundance
of pl easure, or f ri ends I have today. Thanks Sheri ff , my ori gi nal mentor and the man to
whom I owe so much, Savoy, Mr M, Braddock, Rokker, Ki sser, Presti ge, Sphi nx, Caj un,
Moxi e, Bi g Busi ness, Tenmagnet, The Don, 5.0 and Vercetti I have l ear ned so much
f rom al l of you.
Thanks to the Proj ect Rockstars: Starl i ght, Keychai n, Bl ack Swan, Pal adi n, Opti mi st and
Pri zef i ghter. Wow, what a j our ney, eh?
Thanks Sebasti an, Ryan, Marti n, Peter, Joshua and Shak. Youve al l had i mmeasurabl e
i mpact on my character and wi l l never know how much you have hel ped me become the
man I am today.
Thanks Ni na, Amanda, Debby, Thrse, Al ev, Soni a, Mari e, Katheri ne and Ki m. Youve al l
i nspi red and gui ded me i n countl ess and di verse ways. Shoul d our ways have parted or
part i n the f uture, good l uck i n achi evi ng everythi ng you coul d ever want.
I woul d al so l i ke to thank Aaron Wol verton f or al l the graphi c desi gn associ ated wi th thi s
book.
Thi s book i s dedi cated to Nei l , who l ef t thi s worl d f ar sooner than he shoul d have and
remi nds me of why I choose to l i ve each day as I do.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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MAGI C BULLETS
I di rect men who have probl ems tal ki ng to women or want to i mprove thei r dati ng l i ves
to read Magi c Bul l ets, the gol d standard of seducti on bi bl es wri tten by Ni ck Savoy, one
of the worl ds top dati ng experts and Presi dent of Love Systems. I t i s a resource that i s
unparal l ed by any other i n i ts depth and breadth of knowl edge concer ni ng f emal e psy-
chol ogy, approachi ng, dati ng, and seduci ng beauti f ul women.
The i deas i n Magi c Bul l ets gi ve you the f oundati ons f or a successf ul dati ng l i f e. I cant
recommend i t enough to better understand f emal e psychol ogy and to become an at-
tracti ve man. On my l i ve workshops, cl i ents who have read Magi c Bul l ets or taken a
bootcamp general l y get more out of i t than those who have never done so. But whereas
Magi c Bul l ets i s a system f or al l f orms of dati ng and seducti on i n general ( i ncl udi ng day-
ti me, soci al ci rcl e, ni ghtcl ubs etc.) , i n thi s book I have the f reedom to f ocus excl usi vel y
on dayti me dati ng.
I wrote thi s book f or the man who f rom ti me to ti me sees a beauti f ul woman wal ki ng
past hi m, si tti ng next to hi m on the subway or browsi ng a magazi ne i n a bookstore and
wonders, How can I tal k to her? Readi ng thi s book wi l l gi ve you enough i nf ormati on to
go out and meet wonderf ul women i n al most any dayti me venue, to tal k wi th them, date
them and bri ng them home wi th you.
Di f f erences i n Dayt i me Dat i ng
You may be f ami l i ar wi th the Love Systems Tri ad model descri bed by Savoy i n Magi c
Bul l ets 2.0, consi sti ng of three strands: Emoti onal , Physi cal and Logi sti cal Progressi on.
Further, Emoti onal Progressi on can be di vi ded i nto si x phases: Approachi ng, Transi ti on-
i ng, Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on, Comf ort and Seducti on.
I ve conceptual i zed dayti me i nteracti ons wi th women i n a si mi l ar but sl i ghtl y di ff erent
way. The subtl e nuances of dati ng and how to appl y the Tri ad pri nci pl es most eff ecti vel y
i n the dayti me wi l l be expl ai ned throughout the book i n great detai l , but l ets take an
overvi ew of some of the maj or di ff erences that Magi c Bul l ets readers wi l l noti ce:

DAYTI ME DATI NG
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A specific Inner Game chapter for the daytime. So many guys have probl ems
approachi ng and tal ki ng to a woman when they dont have al cohol or the anonymi ty
of a dark cl ub envi ronment to protect them that I i ncl uded speci fi c i nformati on to gi ve
you the ri ght mi ndsets for dati ng i n the dayti me.
There i s a greater focus on di rect approaches (whereas Magi c Bul l ets covers
di rect, i ndi rect and at l east four other types of approach). Ive i ncl uded i nformati on
on i ndi rect approaches, but havi ng experi mented wi th both, Ive found di rect
approaches to be the most effecti ve for dayti me si tuati ons and have i ncl uded a l ot
of detai l on how to make them work.
Passi on repl aces bei ng Chal l engi ng as an Attracti on swi tch. There are ei ght
Attracti on swi tches detai l ed here, as i n Magi c Bul l ets, but Ive removed bei ng
Chal l engi ng i n order to focus on demonstrati ng Passi on. Thats not to say that
bei ng a chal l enge to a woman i snt i mportant and useful , but rather that wi thi n the
context of most dayti me i nteracti ons, Passi on i s a more useful source of bui l di ng
attracti on than tryi ng to chal l enge her. In most cases, a woman i s so i mpressed
that you came to approach her i n the dayti me that you dont need to be as much of
a chal l enge that you woul d be at ni ght i n a bar or cl ub.
Qual i fi cati on i s covered i n more detai l ed i n terms of screeni ng and rewardi ng.
The dayti me i s a great ti me to meet the ki nd of women you real l y want to, so Ive
i ncl uded a l ot of detai l on setti ng your standards and screeni ng women to meet
them. Theres al so a l ot of focus on the ri ght way to appreci ate women
compl i ments can be used far more often and more powerful l y i n the dayti me than
at ni ght.
Comfort i s anal yzed and descri bed i n a greater l evel of detai l . Whereas ni ghtti me
i nteracti ons typi cal l y i nvol ve a l ot of Attracti on and Qual i fi cati on ti me, Comfort
i s goi ng to be more si gni fi cant wi th women you meet i n the dayti me. So Ive
descri bed the rel evant factors for Comfort here and shown you how to appl y i t
when tal ki ng to a woman i n a caf, bookstore etc. (or that can appl i ed l ater when
you are on a date wi th her).
Seducti on ( what to do when a woman i s i n your bedroom) i s not covered i n
thi s book, because whether you meet a woman i n the ni ghtti me or the dayti me, i ts
pretty much the same process. Refer to Magi c Bul l ets for i nformati on on that.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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Physi cal Progressi on i s focused on l ess i n the earl y stages of the i nteracti on.
In a ni ghtcl ub or bar, a hi gher l evel of touchi ng i s expected and accepted, but i n
the dayti me you wi l l general l y have to focus more on your conversati onal abi l i ty.
Of course, you sti l l need to progress thi ngs physi cal l y and l ogi sti cal l y, so I have
covered these two Tri ad strands i n the fi nal part of the book.
Caveat s
I want to stress that the i nf ormati on presented here comes wi th a f ew caveats. Some
peopl e make the mi stake of taki ng thi ngs 100% l i teral l y and bel i eve that i f i ts wri tten by
someone who i s a guru, then i t must be gospel .
At Love Systems, the barri ers to entry f or becomi ng an i nstructor are i ndeed hi gh. I had
to prove mysel f i n-f i el d and on bootcamps f or a l ong ti me bef ore Savoy gave me the
green l i ght to start teachi ng programs. But j ust because we are al l good at what we do
and teach, i t doesnt mean that we know everythi ng there i s to know about dati ng. One
of the thi ngs we pri de oursel ves on i s conti nui ng to l ear n and evol ve as a communi ty and
as men who are good wi th women.
So understand that as I wri te thi s book, I bel i eve i t to be the most up-to-date, eff ecti ve
and powerf ul system f or meeti ng women i n the dayti me. But bear the f ol l owi ng caveats
i n mi nd:
1. The sequence of the Love Systems Tri ad descri bed here i s a model . The f act
i s that there wi l l al ways be si tuati ons where thi ngs happen out of sequence.
I nteracti ons wont al ways progress i n exactl y thi s order, but they wi l l tend to.
2. Dont get hung up on termi nol ogy. For ease of l ear ni ng and f or the benef i t of
the tens of thousands of peopl e whove read Magi c Bul l ets or are on
( the Love Systems onl i ne communi ty) , I ve tri ed to use termi nol ogy thats
consi stent wi th how peopl e tal k about dati ng and attracti on today. Whether you
cal l i t rapport or comf ort, or day game or dayti me dati ng i snt as
i mportant as what you actual l y do and say when you are wi th women.
3. You wi l l onl y trul y understand thi s i nformati on when you put i t i nto practi ce.
I ts great to read Dayti me Dati ng, but you wont ful l y bel i eve i n what I advi se here
unti l you try i t f or yoursel f . Go out and use thi s stuff .
DAYTI ME DATI NG
14
HOW TO USE THI S BOOK
Thi s book has been wri tten to be both a compani on to Magi c Bul l ets f or those wi shi ng to
understand more about dayti me dati ng and as a stand-al one book f or those who are new
to the i dea of acti vel y worki ng to i mprove thei r i nteracti ons wi th women.
I f at the end of thi s book, you f eel l i ke you need f urther i nf ormati on on a speci f i c topi c ( f or
exampl e, meeti ng women through your soci al ci rcl e or rel ati onshi p management) , then
I ve i ncl uded a bunch of at the end that wi l l hel p you.
I n parti cul ar, there i s i nf ormati on i n the Resources secti on on the l i ve Dayti me Dati ng
workshops that we run and how you mi ght benef i t f rom them. The workshops i nvol ve not
onl y trai ni ng of the theoreti cal materi al , but l i ve coachi ng i n-f i el d by expert i nstructors.
Our trai ni ng i s second-to-none, and i f you f i nd yoursel f needi ng f urther assi stance to ap-
pl y the materi al presented here, I hi ghl y recommend l ooki ng i nto i t youl l f i nd i t nothi ng
l ess than l i f e-changi ng.
Dayt i me Dat i ng i s di vi ded i nt o t hree part s:
Thi s secti on wi l l hel p to prepare you mental l y f or the chal l enges
youl l f ace. Most men get i ncredi bl y nervous when approachi ng women i n the
dayti me ( I was no di ff erent when I started) . Thi s secti on wi l l hel p you to deal wi th
that, set heal thy expectati ons f or yoursel f and i ntroduce you to the f oundati onal
model of everythi ng we do at Love Systems, the Love Systems Tri ad.
Thi s secti on f ocuses on progressi ng thi ngs emoti onal l y
as you tal k to a woman, i ncl udi ng how to approach her and begi n a conversati on
( Approachi ng and Transi ti oni ng) , how to get her i nterested i n you ( Attracti on) ,
how to show your i nterest i n her ( Qual i f i cati on) , how to structure the i ni ti al
conversati on ( Conversati on Mappi ng) and how to bui l d an emoti onal connecti on
wi th her ( Comf ort) .
Thi s secti on wi l l show you how to progress
the i nteracti on to the poi nt where she i s i n your bedroom and thi ngs get physi cal
between the two of you.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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PART I
PREPARATI ON
CHAPTERS
1. A System You Can Use Today
2. Inner Game
3. The Best Places to Meet Women in the Daytime
4. Love Systems Triad
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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CHAPTER 1
A SYSTEM YOU CAN USE TODAY
Bei ng abl e to successf ul l y approach and date women i n the dayti me i s a ski l l that takes
ti me to l ear n. As you practi ce wi th the i nf ormati on you l ear n i n thi s book, gradual l y thi ngs
wi l l begi n to cl i ck and you wi l l f i nd your i nteracti ons wi th attracti ve women becomi ng
better.
There i s a l ot of i nf ormati on presented here and i t wi l l take you ti me to read. A l ot of thi ngs
wi l l make more sense once you go out and try i t a f ew ti mes and observe the resul ts. So
treat thi s book as a ref erence that you keep comi ng back to, over and over agai n.
However, you mi ght be si tti ng i n a caf readi ng thi s ri ght now and there i s a cute gi rl
si tti ng next to you. Or you mi ght wal k out of your off i ce at l unchti me and see a beauti f ul
woman wal ki ng past you on the street. So what shoul d you say?
Wel l , thi s enti re book i s devoted to breaki ng down the stages you need to go through
to successf ul l y approach and date women i n these si tuati ons. However, thi s secti on wi l l
show you very bri ef l y how to get i nto that i ni ti al conversati on and take i t somewhere, f or
exampl e taki ng a phone number.
Thi s i s by no means a comprehensi ve expl anati on of dayti me dati ng, but shoul d be
enough i f you onl y have ten mi nutes to read thi s and a beauti f ul woman happens to cross
your path today.
Approachi ng and Transi t i oni ng
Get her attenti on pol i tel y, expl ai n how you came to noti ce her and pay her a
smal l , but genui ne physi cal compl i ment. For exampl e:
Excuse me, hi . I j ust saw you si tti ng there and I had to tel l you, you have
an amazi ng styl e. I real l y l ove your l ook: i ts so wel l put-together.
Excuse me, hi . I j ust saw you si tti ng there and I had to tel l you, you have
an amazi ng styl e. I real l y l ove your l ook, i ts so wel l put-together.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
17
Wai t f or her to say thank you, then put your hand out, ask her name and
i ntroduce yoursel f .
The i deal reacti on f rom a woman i s pl easant surpri se. The more warml y she
reacts, the more open to a conversati on she i s. I f you get a l ess than warm re
acti on, dont take i t personal l y! Some women j ust arent i nterested i n meeti ng
strangers, or perhaps she al ready has a boyf ri end.
The and chapters cover al l thi s i n a l ot of detai l ,
showi ng you ways to make i t work as eff ecti vel y as possi bl e.
At t ract i on
Over the next f i ve or ten mi nutes, you want to f i nd out a l i ttl e bi t about who thi s
woman i s, and demonstrate that you are an i nteresti ng person to her.
Fi nd out what she i s doi ng today, what she does f or a l i vi ng, and what she does
i n her spare ti me f or f un. Dont ask al l these questi ons i n a row, but gradual l y
fi nd out these answers over the course of a fi ve- or ten-mi nute conversati on. Use
her answers to make statements that l ead the conversati on onto topi cs you are
knowl edgeabl e about.
For exampl e, i f youre a good wri ter, and i t tur ns out shes studyi ng j our nal i sm,
you coul d tal k about how much you enj oy j our nal i sm, your experi ences of studyi ng
wri ti ng, or what you l ove most about wri ti ng as a j ob.
Make sure you dont go i nto i ntervi ew mode by aski ng l ots of questi ons and
maki ng f ew statements. You shoul d make statements about yoursel f f or most of
the conversati on. The questi ons you ask her si mpl y al l ow you to target the
statements youre goi ng to make.
Try to di scover thi ngs that you are both passi onate about and spend ti me tal ki ng
about those thi ngs wi th her.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
18
Qual i f i cat i on
Thi s i s where you f i nd out whether she has the ki nd of personal i ty and l i f estyl e of
someone you coul d get al ong wi th someone worth getti ng to know better.
Thi nk about your f avori te topi cs of conversati on, whether i ts travel l i ng, wri ti ng,
danci ng, sports, musi c, movi es or anythi ng el se, and ask her questi ons rel ated
to these thi ngs, f or exampl e, What ki nd of movi es do you l i ke?
I f af ter a f ew mi nutes, you get the i mpressi on you coul d genui nel y l i ke her, gi ve her
another compl i ment that thi s ti me doesnt rel ate to how she l ooks. For exampl e,
I real l y l i ke that youre i nto travel l i ng. I t makes me thi nk that we coul d have a
f ew thi ngs i n common.
Try to pay her a coupl e of these non-physi cal compl i ments over the course of the
conversati on.
Logi st i cal Progressi on
I f youve had a good conversati on wi th her af ter f i ve or ten mi nutes, tel l her that
you enj oyed tal ki ng wi th her and that youd l i ke to tal k some more over a dri nk or
a coff ee. See how she responds.
I f she agrees, f i nd out what her schedul e i s l i ke f or toni ght or the next f ew days,
and arrange a mutual l y conveni ent ti me to meet. Ask her to put her phone
number i n your phone and save i t.
You have hopef ul l y now set up a date!
I f she says no, tel l her, No probl em. I t was ni ce to meet you, and go approach
some more women...
DAYTI ME DATI NG
19
CHAPTER 2
I NNER GAME
Approachi ng women i n the dayti me can be a scary thi ng to do. I f youve never been par-
ti cul arl y conf i dent tal ki ng to women, then approachi ng them at ni ght i s scary enough
but at l east then you have al cohol , your buddi es, soci al proof ( i f you are wi th other wom-
en) and the anonymi ty of a dark, l oud envi ronment to protect your ego f rom rej ecti on.
A bi g hurdl e to j ump over i s maki ng your f i rst dayti me approach. The f i rst ti me I travel ed
i nto central London al l those years ago to do my f i rst mi ssi on, whi ch was si mpl y wal k-
i ng up to ten women and tel l i ng them, Youre cute, I was terri f i ed.
What made me overcome that? Honestl y, there was nothi ng that speci al that I heard, saw
or understood that gave me the conf i dence to do i t; i t was si mpl y good ol d-f ashi oned
determi nati on. There comes a poi nt i n your l i f e when you real i ze that i f you want to grow,
i f you want to i mprove your l i f e and i f you want to acqui re new ski l l s or experi ences, you
are goi ng to f eel scared when you do so. Accept that and move beyond i t, or that f eel -
i ng wi th haunt you f orever. Courage i snt the absence of f ear. I ts the wi l l i ngness to act
i n spi te of i t.
DAYTI ME MI NDSETS
I ts very i mportant to have a posi ti ve and heal thy mi ndset when i t comes to approachi ng
women i n the dayti me. You can do hundreds or thousands of approaches and have suc-
cesses wi th those, but ul ti matel y i f your head i s not i n the ri ght space, you are wal ki ng
down a path of f rustrati on and di sappoi ntment.
When I f i rst started dayti me approaches I di dnt have al l of these mi ndsets. But as I
started to reach pl ateaus i n my ski l l set and wanted more consi stency i n my resul ts ( and
l ess f rustrati on) , I real i zed that there were several pri nci pl es I needed to embrace i n order
to be as successf ul as possi bl e. These took me years to f i gure out. Some of them wi l l
resonate wi th you i mmedi atel y, whereas others wi l l take some ti me to take root i n your
subconsci ous and your behavi or. Keep on comi ng back to these mi ndsets whenever you
f eel f rustrated and they wi l l off er you sol ace and a route back onto the ri ght path.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
20
1. Anyt hi ng i s possi bl e
When I f i rst started dayti me approachi ng, I thought i t was i mpossi bl e to tal k to a woman
i n the col d l i ght of day, l et al one take her phone number or even take her on a date i n-
stantl y. I ve si nce bl own that real i ty apart and taken thi ngs much f urther than that.
I ve approached women whi l e they were wi th thei r mothers, when they seemed l i ke
they were i n a rush and woul dnt stop f or me, when they were surrounded by groups of
f ri ends, and i n even stranger, more awkward or di ff i cul t si tuati ons than those.
I sti l l havent done everythi ng I coul d want to do i n terms of dayti me approachi ng, but I
real i ze now that nothi ng i s i mpossi bl e. Some thi ngs are i mprobabl e i n certai n si tuati ons,
but wi th ti me and energy anythi ng i s achi evabl e.
2. I t ake ri sks f or t he t hi ngs I want
I take a l ot of i nspi rati on f rom the l i ves of successf ul peopl e. A f ew years ago I read Los-
i ng My Vi rgi ni ty by Ri chard Branson, a bi l l i onai re and the man behi nd the Vi rgi n brand.
I n i t, Branson descri bes hi s earl y busi ness endeavors such as starti ng a student maga-
zi ne at age 16 and cal l i ng nati onal adverti sers to convi nce them to adverti se i n hi s un-
heard-of publ i cati on. He goes on to descri be how someone off ered hi m a stake i n a new
ai rl i ne. Agai nst al l personal and busi ness advi ce f rom those around hi m, he took up the
chal l enge: the now successf ul ai rl i ne Vi rgi n Atl anti c was bor n.
As I read Bransons book, I real i zed that there was one maj or qual i ty that set hi m apart
f rom most of the worl d: he i s wi l l i ng to take ri sks f or the thi ngs he wants. He says,
My i nterest i n l i f e comes f rom setti ng mysel f huge, apparentl y unachi evabl e
chal l enges and tr yi ng to ri se above them...from the perspecti ve of wanti ng to l i ve
l i f e to the f ul l est, I f el t that I had to attempt i t.
Taki ng ri sks i s not about al ways achi evi ng what you want. There wi l l be f ai l ures and
thi ngs that dont work out; you need to accept that. Taki ng ri sks i s about bei ng wi l l i ng
to act when you thi nk, I want that. The outcome i s not as i mportant as taki ng acti on.
When I go to bed at ni ght, I dont thi nk of how many women I ve sl ept wi th or how deep
DAYTI ME DATI NG
21
I ve f al l en i n l ove. I thi nk about how much opportuni ty I ve seen and how much of that
I ve acted on. Li vi ng a l i f e wi th beauti f ul , i ntel l i gent and i nspi rati onal women around you
i s great, but what i s real l y sati sf yi ng i s l i vi ng a l i f e of acti on i nstead of one of regret. The
way you choose to l i ve your l i f e i s i nf i ni tel y more i mportant than the exter nal trappi ngs of
your l i f e; success i n the l atter i s great, but i t doesnt come wi thout the f ormer.
Every ti me you see a woman i n the dayti me you want to tal k to, remember that the un-
comf ortabl e f eel i ng of approachi ng her and potenti al l y getti ng rej ected wi l l subsi de a l ot
qui cker and be a l ot more bearabl e than the regret you wi l l f eel i f you dont. Be happy
to take the ri sk f or somethi ng you want, and dont worry so much about the outcome of
each i ndi vi dual si tuati on.
3. I express my desi res and f eel i ngs
Doi ng dayti me approaches i s l i ke putti ng a mi croscope on your soci al i nteracti ons. Sud-
denl y, everythi ng appears to you i n a l evel of detai l and i ntensi ty that you have never
experi enced bef ore; not i n ni ghtcl ub approaches, soci al ci rcl e i ntroducti ons, or even i n
speed dati ng.
You have a f ew seconds as a beauti f ul woman wal ks past you to deci de whether you are
goi ng to run af ter her and say somethi ng, anythi ng, or l et her be j ust another mi ssed op-
portuni ty. I n ni ghtcl ubs and bars, you can of ten get away wi th a l i ttl e procrasti nati on. I n
the dayti me, rarel y do you have that l uxury. The wi ndow of opportuni ty opens and cl oses
i n moments.
I f you are a person that rati onal i zes, cal cul ates and takes ti me to f i gure out the best strat-
egy f or the hi ghest chance of success wi th her, you coul d mi ss out on more opportuni ti es
i n the dayti me than those you capi tal i ze on.
I m not sayi ng there i s no pl ace f or strategy or pl anni ng i n the dayti me, but you need to
be wi l l i ng to act qui ckl y l est al l your strategi zi ng be wasted.
The si mpl est way to do thi s i s to be wi l l i ng to express your desi res and f eel i ngs as soon
as you f eel them. You see a woman you l i ke, you noti ce somethi ng about her, and then
you approach her and tel l her i mmedi atel y. The more ti me you spend thi nki ng about i t and
rati onal i zi ng what coul d happen, the greater the chance you wi l l get nervous and mi ss
the opportuni ty.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
22
Expressi ng how you f eel by tel l i ng a woman that you l ove the way she carri es hersel f or
the way her hai r bounces off her shoul ders gi ves you sati sf acti on i n an i nstant and makes
you a stronger man. Most men are af rai d to express how they f eel ; embraci ng your de-
si res l i ke thi s sets you apart as a hi gher cal i ber man.
The counterpart of thi s mi ndset i s that you are happy to si mpl y express your desi res
wi thout expectati on or outcome. I t i s more about putti ng yoursel f out there and gi vi ng
her the opportuni ty to spend ti me wi th you than i t i s about expecti ng or hopi ng that she
wi l l f eel si mi l arl y.
For exampl e, the worst way you can tel l a woman you l ove her i s to say i t expecti ng her
to say i t back. Do that and you are a weak man. Tel l a woman you l ove her wi thout worry
whether she wi l l say i t back or not and you are a strong man. I once cal l ed a woman to
tel l her I l oved her. Three months l ater she cal l ed me to say that she real i zed she f el t the
same way. Was I worri ed i n between? No. I was happy to si mpl y express how I f el t and
to conti nue spendi ng ti me wi th her.
I ts the same wi th dayti me approaches. Be happy to si mpl y express your desi res and f eel -
i ngs when you f i rst approach her. I f you spend more ti me wi th her, go on a date, or end
up i n bed a f ew hours l ater, great. But l i ve a l i f e where you embrace and express your
desi res i nstead of hi di ng them i nsi de and you wi l l l ead a much happi er l i f e.
4. I am comi ng f rom a posi t i on of hi gh val ue
I ts very easy when youre tal ki ng to or l ooki ng at a beauti f ul woman to thi nk she i s out
of your l eague, that she somehow has more val ue than you. As soon as you start to thi nk
that, i ts i nti mi dati ng.
But what happens when you start tal ki ng to her? Maybe i t tur ns out she i s a student of
an academi c subj ect that you have a PhD i n. Maybe she goes regul arl y to a ni ghtcl ub
where you know the manager. Maybe when you wake up wi th her i n the mor ni ng, you wi l l
real i ze that she i s a person j ust l i ke you, wi th strengths and weaknesses of her own, and
i nsecuri ti es deeper than you coul d possi bl y i magi ne.
Val ue i s rel ati ve across si tuati ons. Sure, when youre i n a ni ghtcl ub and she i s danci ng on
the pol e, she has every guy i n there gawpi ng at her. She mi ght have hi gher soci al val ue
than you i n that si tuati on ( because more peopl e are f ocusi ng on her than they are on
DAYTI ME DATI NG
23
you) . But take her out of that envi ronment and put her i n your workpl ace as your i nter n
or j uni or. Suddenl y you have the hi gher val ue.
Thats j ust one exampl e, yet there are countl ess si tuati ons where you mi ght hol d greater
val ue than her. You wi l l never have hi gher val ue than every person you meet i n l i f e, but
i f you recogni ze the areas of your l i f e where you do have strong val ue, then you have
somethi ng to off er everyone.
When you are tal ki ng to a woman i n the dayti me, real i ze that you are comi ng f rom a posi -
ti on of hi gh val ue. You wi l l convey some of thi s val ue i mmedi atel y as you approach her
( your body l anguage, tonal i ty etc.) , but the rest of i t wi l l be conveyed as you tal k more to
her. Dont worry about demonstrati ng i t al l strai ght away. Rel ax, do enough to get her i n-
terested i n the approach, and bel i eve that she wi l l l i ke you more as you i nteract wi th her.
You see her wal ki ng down the street, shes beauti f ul , sure. But arent you yoursel f i ntel -
l i gent, f unny, and i nteresti ng? I t mi ght not be i mmedi atel y apparent when she l ooks at
you, but take the chance to tal k to her and she mi ght j ust di scover al l these thi ngs about
you ( especi al l y wi th what you are goi ng to l ear n i n thi s book) .
5. I want you, but I do not need you
Theres a bi g paradox here whi ch astute readers may have noti ced. I f you adopt al l the
above mi ndsets you real i ze you are hi gh val ue, you j ust enj oy expressi ng how you f eel
then what i s the poi nt or rati onal e behi nd seeki ng outcome ( sex, l ove or otherwi se) at al l ?
I s i t wrong to want to enj oy the physi cal i ty of a beauti f ul woman, or to rel i sh the compan-
i onshi p an i ntel l i gent woman off ers? No.
What i s dangerous i s to thi nk that you need any of thi s i n the absol ute sense. I n absol ute
terms, al l you need i s f ood, ai r and water.
Real i ze that you have romanti c and sexual desi res and be wi l l i ng to act on them ( as de-
scri bed above) . These desi res are real and are a part of you, but they do not control you.
Each woman you meet mi ght be desi rabl e ( she mi ght even be the most desi rabl e woman
you have ever met i n your l i f e) , but she i s not necessary f or your exi stence or happi ness.
Thi s i s the most powerf ul mi ndset you can ever adopt f or your dati ng l i f e and i ndeed
other areas of your l i f e. Buddhi sts bel i eve that detachment f rom outcome and the exter-
DAYTI ME DATI NG
24
nal trappi ngs of l i f e i s i mportant f or spi ri tual sel f -sati sf acti on. But i f that was true, why
not cast off your cl othes, gi ve away al l your money, and go l i ve on a mountai n somewhere
by yoursel f ?
I ts good to have desi res and to want thi ngs. I t makes f or an i nteresti ng l i f e to pursue
these desi res and achi eve your goal s ( and to keep on setti ng and achi evi ng new goal s) .
But i ts bad to thi nk that any one outcome i s the be al l and end al l of your l i f e.
Some ti me ago I got i nto a stupi d f i ght and ended up i n hospi tal wi th my l ef t eye pretty
damaged. I wasnt sure whether I d ever be abl e to see out of i t agai n. As I l ay there i n
the hospi tal the next mor ni ng, I thought to mysel f , Whatever happens, I wi l l deal wi th i t.
I was amazed at my own stoi ci sm, and I real i zed i t has come f rom the path I have been
wal ki ng f or the l ast f ew years i n dati ng sci ence.
There i s an i mmense i nner strength you devel op when you become a person who i s wi l l -
i ng to try to achi eve everythi ng he wants i n l i f e, and wi l l i ng to deal wi th any outcome as
a resul t of those eff orts. Posi ti ve or negati ve, whatever happens to you i n your l i fe makes
for a more i nteresti ng tapestry overal l .
So every ti me you want to tal k to a beauti f ul woman you see wal ki ng past you, embrace
your desi re f or her but real i ze that whatever happens, you are sti l l you, and that i s al l you
need.
SUCCESS EXPECTATI ONS
You wont become a master of dayti me dati ng over ni ght. I ts i mpossi bl e to say how l ong
i t wi l l take you bef ore you reach a parti cul ar benchmark of bei ng good because ev-
eryone starts f rom a di ff erent pl ace ( based on thei r geneti cs, earl y upbri ngi ng, f ormati ve
experi ences at school and the i nf l uences theyve had si nce then) and l ear ns at a di ff er-
ent rate. Bei ng good i s al so rel ati ve; knowi ng that you are i mpl ementi ng what you are
l ear ni ng and maki ng i mprovements i s a more usef ul measure of success.
You wi l l have to take yoursel f out of your comf ort zone regul arl y by doi ng thi ngs that are
deepl y unf ami l i ar or unusual f or you. I t may seem strange to start havi ng conversati ons
wi th women usi ng the structure and techni ques you are goi ng to l ear n. You wi l l have to
DAYTI ME DATI NG
25
f ei gn conf i dence and pretend you know what you are doi ng f or a whi l e: at l east unti l you
have practi ced the el ements so much that they become natural to you and you no l onger
have to thi nk about them.
You may be usi ng pre-scri pted l i nes and stori es ( what are cal l ed ) i n order to
gai n conf i dence and competence i n havi ng i nteresti ng conversati ons wi th women. Dont
worry i f i t f eel s arti f i ci al at f i rst i t wi l l . When you f eel ready to f ree-f l ow attracti ve con-
versati on, try not usi ng anythi ng scri pted and see how you do.
The i mportant thi ng i s that you are progressi ng and growi ng i n your abi l i ty to meet and
attract women. I f you f i nd that your progress sl ows and then stops, you probabl y need
addi ti onal i nformati on to gui de you to the next stage of your devel opment. The
chapter at the end of thi s book shoul d provi de you wi th enough di recti on on where to go
next.
Dont set goal s l i ke, I want to be abl e to seduce every woman I see. When you encoun-
ter a group of guys soci al l y, at a busi ness conf erence or at school , you dont thi nk to
yoursel f , I am goi ng to make f ri ends wi th al l of these guys here, do you?
No, you dont. Because you know that some of them you wi l l l i ke and get al ong wi th,
whi l e others you wont real l y have anythi ng i n common wi th or want to get to know better.
Why shoul d i t be any di ff erent wi th women?
Yes i ts true that we pri ori ti ze physi cal beauty more so than women, but other f actors sti l l
come i nto pl ay when we thi nk about bri ngi ng a woman i nto our l i ves. Bel i eve me, sex wi th
a woman who i s beauti f ul i nsi de and out, whom you sti l l want to be there when you wake
up i n the mor ni ng, i s a much l onger-l asti ng and f ul f i l l i ng source of pl easure than someone
whom you are tol erati ng unti l you can orgasm and rol l over.
My goal i s to teach you how to bri ng qual i ty women i nto your l i f e through the power of
dayti me dati ng. I f you f i nd yoursel f happi l y dati ng a wonderf ul woman, or bei ng abl e to
have romanti c and sexual encounters wi th beauti f ul , i ntel l i gent and i nteresti ng women
wherever you are, then I l l be very proud of what I ve brought to your attenti on i n thi s
book.

DAYTI ME DATI NG
26
CHAPTER 3
THE BEST PLACES TO MEET WOMEN
I N THE DAYTI ME
The beauty of dayti me dati ng i s that the worl d i s your pl ayground. You dont have to try
to get i nto an excl usi ve cl ub l ate on a Saturday ni ght, tal k over l oud musi c or cal l a bunch
of your f ri ends to try to convi nce them to come party wi th you.
Dayti me dati ng i s al so a f l exi bl e f orm of meeti ng women. You can tal k to women on your
way to and f rom work, on l unch breaks, whi l e youre runni ng errands, whi l e youre work-
i ng on your l aptop i n a caf or when youre grocery shoppi ng. There are countl ess pos-
si bi l i ti es.
I n addi ti on to f l exi bi l i ty, i t al so off ers a di versi ty of women. Ni ghtcl ubs and bars tend to
be f ul l of women who l i ke goi ng out, dri nki ng or partyi ng, whi ch can of course be f un.
But what i f you want to meet women who l ove to read, go to art gal l eri es, or si t i n caf s
chatti ng and dri nki ng coff ee wi th f ri ends?
Any venue where you mi ght possi bl y f i nd attracti ve women i s f ai r game. Lets l ook at
some exampl es.
The St reet
Thi s i s my f avori te venue because you get constant streams of beauti f ul women wal ki ng
past, provi ded you pi ck the ri ght street of course. Shoppi ng streets are i deal , but beware
of ti mes when theyre overcrowded. Women are more on edge when there are a l ot of
peopl e bustl i ng by them, so i ts a good i dea i n these cases to wai t unti l there i s some
space around her when she can reasonabl y stop bef ore you approach.
Al so, be aware that peopl e are constantl y goi ng i n and out of stores, crossi ng roads etc.,
so when you see a woman you want to approach you shoul d do so qui ckl y or she coul d
change her traj ectory suddenl y and i t mi ght l ook as though youre stal ki ng her. You can
get away wi th a l i ttl e hesi tati on i n bars and cl ubs ( though i ts not i deal and you shoul d
try to el i mi nate i t) because the women arent goi ng anywhere, but on the street you real l y
do need to act qui ckl y.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
27
Shoppi ng Mal l s
These are al ways f ul l of good-l ooki ng women, ei ther hangi ng out by themsel ves, or more
commonl y i n groups. Duri ng the week youl l tend to f i nd a l ot of women who are touri sts,
bored or j ust not i n ni ne-to-f i ve j obs. These women tend to be i nterested i n adventure,
so approachi ng them makes f or some great i nteracti ons!
On the weekends youl l tend to f i nd more party gi rl s out shoppi ng or getti ng ready f or
thei r ni ghts out. These women can be j ust as f un, and you can usual l y arrange some i n-
teresti ng meet-ups i n the eveni ng i f you f i nd out what thei r pl ans are that ni ght.
Be caref ul of spendi ng too l ong i n shoppi ng mal l s and doi ng too many approaches whi l e
youre there. I f you roam the mal l and do dozens of approaches i n a short space of ti me,
peopl e mi ght noti ce and i t coul d get soci al l y awkward.
St ores
Theres a huge vari ety of stores that you can have a l ot of f un wi th. Bookstores and musi c
stores are great because you can meet women that have si mi l ar tastes to you and start
conversati ons rel ated to these.
The caveat I d add to approachi ng women i n stores i s to be very aware of your surround-
i ngs. Certai n stores are l ess conduci ve to approachi ng ( f or exampl e, youd have to work
hard to establ i sh credi bi l i ty f or why youre i n a womens l i ngeri e store) . Be aware al so that
store securi ty mi ght see you tal ki ng to thei r customers and wont appreci ate you hi tti ng
on al l of them! So be di screet and dont chase every woman you see around the store.
Cof f ee Shops
You wont al ways f i nd huge vol umes of beauti f ul women i n a caf the same way you mi ght
a bar or a cl ub, but you wi l l spot the occasi onal woman or group of women you want
to approach. Coff ee shops al so have the uni que characteri sti c that peopl e are usual l y
si tti ng down i nstead of bei ng on the move and theref ore of ten have more ti me f or a con-
versati on and/or adventure.
Coff ee shops are al so great when you have a l aptop to work f rom or a book to read. I f
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you were goi ng to work f rom home or j ust si t around and read your book, why not do so
i n a coff ee shop where a stream of beauti f ul women wi l l be passi ng through as you si t?
I of ten approach women i n coff ee shops ei ther when I am l eavi ng, or they are on thei r
way out. That way, i f i t doesnt go wel l , you dont have to conti nue si tti ng near them and
f eel i ng awkward. I f i t does go wel l , you can tal k wi th them f or a f ew mi nutes bef ore you
or they move on.
Museums and Art Gal l eri es
These venues dont necessari l y have a hi gh f l ow of beauti f ul women passi ng through, but
sui t men who are l ooki ng f or ol der, more creati ve-mi nded women. Agai n, as wi th book
and musi c stores, i ts easy to stri ke up conversati ons and f i nd peopl e wi th si mi l ar tastes
to you.
Buses, Trai ns and Subways
Dependi ng on what ci ty you l i ve i n, publ i c transport approaches can be an amazi ng way
to maxi mi ze your ti me and opportuni ty f or women. Be strategi c. I n some ci ti es ( f or ex-
ampl e, London, New York, Toronto, San Franci sco) i t i s normal f or beauti f ul women to be
on the subway or a bus. I n others ( f or exampl e, Los Angel es, Phi l adel phi a or San Di ego) ,
a l i ttl e l ess so.
One thi ng you wi l l noti ce af ter approachi ng a f ew women on publ i c transport i s a real ti me
constrai nt. You mi ght onl y have a f ew stops on the subway bef ore she gets off , so i ts
i mportant to f i nd out earl y on i n the i nteracti on where she i s headed so you know what
ti mef rame to work to so you can get her contact detai l s i n ti me.

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CHAPTER 4
THE LOVE SYSTEMS TRI AD
CHAPTER SUMMARY:
I ntroducti on to the Love Systems Tri ad
How to use the Tri ad: New, I ntermedi ate, Advanced Ski l l Level s
The Emoti onal Progressi on Model
The Physi cal Progressi on Model
The Logi sti cal Progressi on Model
Putti ng i t al l together - i mpl i cati ons
The f oundati on of the dayti me dati ng system i s the Love Systems Tri ad, ori gi nal l y con-
cei ved by Ni ck Savoy. As hes the expert on i t, I m goi ng to pass over to hi m f or thi s
chapter to gi ve an over vi ew of the Tri ad model and how i t appl i es to dayti me dati ng ( and
I l l go over each part of the model i n greater detai l i n the chapters to come) .
The Love Systems Tri ad i s a powerf ul system to devel op sexual or romanti c rel ati onshi ps
wi th beauti f ul women, even i f youre not ri ch, f amous, or good-l ooki ng yoursel f .
I t i s based on real -worl d experi ence f rom hundreds of thousands of approaches and
pi ckups - both through col d approach ( approachi ng women you dont know) and so-
ci al ci rcl e ( f ri ends, co-workers, etc.) .
Have I approached hundreds of thousands of women? Of course not. But I do have the
good f ortune of havi ng a team of over twenty Love Systems i nstructors worl dwi de, and
a broader network of thousands of cl i ents who weve taught i n person. By constantl y
testi ng and ref i ni ng i deas, weve evol ved a system that works regardl ess of a mans age,
cul ture, or background. I ts based on what actual l y works i n the real worl d i t has to be,
because i ts what we use oursel ves.
I NTRODUCTI ON TO THE TRI AD
Most women especi al l y beauti f ul women who are used to a l ot of attenti on f rom men -
wont sl eep wi th someone new unl ess at l east three speci f i c f actors are present:
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30
She f eel s the ri ght ki nd of emoti onal connecti on wi th you.
She has a physi cal connecti on wi th you.
The two of you are al one somewhere where sex can reasonabl y happen ( Logi sti cs) .
Now, i ts not qui te as easy as f l i ppi ng a swi tch ( or three swi tches) . There i s usual l y a
bunch of i ntermedi ate steps on the way to her bei ng emoti onal l y, physi cal l y, and l ogi sti -
cal l y ready to sl eep wi th you. I ts l i ke dri vi ng a car. You dont usual l y go strai ght i nto
f i f th gear; you bui l d momentum by accel erati ng through the gears i n the ri ght order unti l
youre goi ng f ul l speed.
I l l gi ve you a qui ck i dea of how thi s al l works, usi ng the the ri ght ki nd of emoti onal con-
necti on as an exampl e.
I NSI GHT #1: THE FOUR KEY EMO-
TI ONS
One thi ng we l ear ned f rom our hundreds of
thousands of approaches i s that women around
the worl d general l y want to f eel f our speci f i c
emoti ons bef ore they say yes:
1. Feel i ng that your soci al val ue i s equal to or
greater than hers ( Attracti on) .
2. Feel i ng that shes ear ned your attenti on f or
non-superf i ci al reasons ( Qual i f i cati on) .
3. Feel i ng comf ort and connecti on wi th you
( Comf ort) .
4. Bei ng aroused by you wi thout awkwardness or embarrassment ( Seducti on) .
I NSI GHT #2: THE MAGI C SEQUENCE
Thi s one amazed us at f i rst. Not onl y di d we di scover the f our key emoti ons, but we
l ear ned that theyre most eff ecti ve when a woman f eel s them i n exactl y that order.
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Theref ore, we cal l thi s sequence of emoti ons the Emoti onal Progressi on Model , and each
emoti on i s a phase i n the Model .
Why does the order matter? Lets use my f ri end Ti m as an exampl e. Li ke many men who
havent studi ed Love Systems, when Ti m meets a woman he i s i nterested i n, he starts
aski ng her a l ot of questi ons wi thout addi ng anythi ng i nteresti ng to the conversati on.
Have you ever had a conversati on l i ke thi s?
Ti m: Hi , I m Ti m.
Jenni fer: I m Jenni f er.
Ti m: Where are you f rom?
Jenni fer: New York.
Ti m: Oh cool . What are you doi ng here?
Jenni fer: Just vi si ti ng some f ri ends.
Ti m: Oh cool . So what do you do?
Jenni fer: I m a nurse. Li sten, i ts been ni ce tal ki ng to you, but I have to get goi ng.
Why di d Ti m f ai l ? The si mpl e answer i s he wasnt man enough to ask f or hel p. Men ask
each other f or hel p on thei r taxes, gol f swi ngs, and cars, but most guys get al l stubbor n
when i t comes to getti ng hel p on somethi ng much more i mportant your romanti c and
sex l i f e.
Fortunatel y, as a reader of thi s book, you wont have thi s probl em. You wi l l be abl e to
surpass Ti m and al l of the other Ti ms of the worl d. Congratul ati ons - youve al ready
gotten past the bi ggest hurdl e to l i f el ong success wi th beauti f ul women.
Ti ms second mi stake was that he got the emoti onal steps i n the wrong order. He started
off by aski ng Jenni f er to share detai l s of her l i f e. I n other words, he tri ed to bui l d Comf ort.
Unf ortunatel y, beauti f ul women tend to get approached al l the ti me by men aski ng l ots of
these sorts of Comf ort-questi ons wi thout showi ng any soci al val ue themsel ves. Jenni f er
has probabl y l ear ned that these conversati ons usual l y end wi th some nervous guy ask-
i ng her out, and an awkward si tuati on when shes not i nterested. So she shut Joe down
bef ore the conversati on coul d get there.
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The probl em i s that Ti m hasnt yet shown her that he i s worth her ti me. Aski ng a woman
about hersel f i snt wrong; i t was j ust a bad i dea to ask so many questi ons bef ore he gave
her a f ew reasons to i nvest i n the conversati on ( whi ch happens i n the Attracti on phase) .
I f Ti m were very good l ooki ng, that mi ght have gi ven her a reason, or i f she had been
f eel i ng l onel y or i nsecure, or whatever. But thats not what Love Systems i s about. I
want you to be abl e to succeed wi th secure and conf i dent beauti f ul women, regardl ess
of your l ooks.
Let the sequence be a gui de, not a strai ghtj acket. Thi nk of i t l i ke you have three
gl asses, and you need to f i l l them al l wi th water. These gl asses represent your Attrac-
ti on, Qual i f i cati on, and Comf ort l evel s wi th a speci f i c woman. Fi l l them i n that order, but
remember that water, l i ke emoti ons, can evaporate. A woman who f el t attracted to you
l ast week ( or even an hour ago, at a busy and exci ti ng shoppi ng mal l ) mi ght not f eel as
attracted to you ri ght now. Thi s can happen duri ng the same conversati on i f you l et her
Attracti on l evel s di ssi pate once youve moved on to Qual i f i cati on and Comf ort. I n these
si tuati ons, you have to top up the Attracti on gl ass whi l e i n a l ater phase.
I nci dental l y, thi s i s why f i rst phone cal l s and f i rst dates shoul d usual l y begi n wi th re-
f reshi ng her Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on, and Comf ort l evel s bef ore you break new ground.
I n case you are wonderi ng, you cant prepare f or thi s evaporati on by gi vi ng a woman
extra Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on, or Comf ort earl y on. I n other words, you cant overf i l l a
gl ass to save some f or l ater. Thi s i s a common mi stake when men f i rst l ear n Love Sys-
tems Attracti on techni ques, and f i gure that more i s better. I ts not. Tryi ng to attract a
woman who i s al ready attracted wont make her more i nto you; i ts more l i kel y to f rustrate
her and cause her to l ose i nterest al together.
I NSI GHT #3: FAST TRACK TO MASTERY
Our di scovery that the phases of the Emoti onal Progressi on Model shoul d be accom-
pl i shed i n a speci f i c order had a surpri si ng benef i t, beyond bri ngi ng our abi l i ty to succeed
wi th beauti f ul women to the next l evel . I t made Love Systems much easi er to l ear n and
use, because i t maps di rectl y to how most men actual l y thi nk and break down probl ems.
I t was al most l i ke nature ( or Cupi d) had meant f or us to di scover thi s al l al ong...
Unl i ke women, men are not natural mul ti -taskers. The mal e brai n i s best at accompl i sh-
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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i ng a seri es of l ogi cal l y connected steps, one a ti me, toward a goal . The Emoti onal Pro-
gressi on Model not onl y al l ows f or thi s, i t i nsi sts on i t.
For exampl e, once youre i n a conversati on wi th a woman, your mai n goal i s to make
her f eel attracted to you. Once thats done, al l you have to thi nk about emoti onal l y
i s maki ng her f eel that shes ear ned your attenti on f or non-superf i ci al reasons ( i .e.,
Qual i f i cati on) . And so on. ( Yes, I know that bui l d Attracti on/Qual i f i cati on/Comf ort wi th a
beauti f ul woman i s easi er sai d than done, but we have the rest of the book to show you
some of our techni ques. Ri ght now were j ust i ntroduci ng you to the overal l system so
you know what f i ts where.)
The step-by-step system al so makes i t easy to l ear n f rom your mi stakes. You attracted
her, but you l ost her i nterest a l i ttl e whi l e l ater? Probabl y a probl em wi th Qual i f i cati on.
Passed through Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on, and Comf ort j ust f i ne but she sai d: l ets j ust be
f ri ends? Probabl y a Seducti on i ssue.
Now, i ts not al ways as easy as one thi ng at a ti me. You have to be thi nki ng of al l three
di mensi ons: Emoti onal , Physi cal , and Logi sti cal . Thi s i s one of the thi ngs that makes
the Love Systems Tri ad so eff ecti ve ( and ori gi nal ) , but i t does take a bi t of practi ce. For-
tunatel y, al l three di mensi ons of the Tri ad work i n si mi l ar ways. And si nce there i s an
i ncredi bl e depth of Love Systems resources f or each phase of each di mensi on, i ts easy
to get expert hel p on any phase you want to i mprove.
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THE LOVE SYSTEMS TRI AD

How t o use t he t ri ad
I n a moment, were goi ng to get i nto al l of the detai l s of al l three model s. But dont j ust
pl ow i nto thi s i f youre new. The Love Systems Tri ad i s an amazi ngl y sophi sti cated tool ,
but i ts i mportant to wal k bef ore you try to run.
NEW
I f youre new to the Love Systems Tri ad
Start wi th the Emoti onal Progressi on Model onl y. Dont worry about anythi ng el se unti l
you are abl e to get to at l east the Comf ort phase consi stentl y. Dont di stract yoursel f
wi th other i nf ormati on that i s not part of thi s goal . Trust me on thi s one weve trai ned
over ten thousand men and know what works. Let Conf uci us i nspi re you: A j our ney of
a thousand mi l es begi ns wi th a si ngl e step.
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I NTERMEDI ATE SKI LLS
Use the Emoti onal Progressi on Model as your base, but keep i n mi nd that you need to
escal ate physi cal l y and l ogi sti cal l y as wel l . Wi thout worryi ng about the speci f i cs of the
Physi cal or Logi sti cal Progressi on Model s, l ook f or ( and create) opportuni ti es to do the
f ol l owi ng:
I ni ti ate and i ntensi f y touchi ng ( aka ki no) between you and her. Start smal l and bui l d
momentum. Get her al one. A l ot of ti mes f or dayti me dati ng, thi s wi l l requi re a phone
number and a date another ti me. Move her. Al most any move i s good, but the best
moves are the ones that l ead toward a bedroom.
ADVANCED SKI LLS
Unl ock the f ul l power of the Love Systems Tri ad, usi ng al l three model s and bei ng con-
sci ous of and l ooki ng f or i nter-rel ati onshi ps between them. Read on.
THE EMOTI ONAL PROGRESSI ON MODEL
Lets expl ore the Emoti onal Progressi on Model
i n a bi t more detai l . Note that the poi nt of thi s
secti on i s to get you up to speed so you can
make the most of the materi al i n thi s book. The
detai l ed gui de to the Love Systems Tri ad and
how to use i t to i ts f ul l potenti al i s the f ocus
of a l arge part of our cor nerstone book, Magi c
Bul l ets.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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The Four Key Emoti ons
1. Attracti on - Feel i ng that a mans soci al val ue i s
equal to or greater than hers
Every woman wi l l percei ve a mans soci al val ue di f -
f erentl y. However, our research has shown that most
women around the worl d respond to some of the
same thi ngs. We cal l these Attracti on Swi tches.
For dayti me dati ng, these are: appearance, conf i -
dence, soci al i ntel l i gence, humor, passi on, pre-se-
l ecti on, status and weal th.
A womans soci al val ue i s based on how desi rabl e
she f eel s that she i s at that moment to men i n gen-
eral . To grossl y oversi mpl i f y, many beauti f ul women
l i ke to sl eep wi th men who are better than them. Thi s causes a woman to f eel attracted
to you. We cal l the ti me when youre doi ng thi s the Attracti on phase ( or j ust Attracti on) .
2. Qual i fi cati on - Feel i ng that shes earned hi s at-
tenti on f or non-superf i ci al reasons
[ Qual i f i cati on]
Most women l i ke to f eel that they have ear ned a
mans attenti on and that he i s i nterested i n them
f or more than thei r l ooks. Thi s i s f or two reasons.
Fi rst, they know that hi gh-val ue men can eas-
i l y attract beauti f ul women. I f bei ng beauti f ul i s
enough by i tsel f to get you i nterested, then shel l
questi on whether youre real l y a hi gh-val ue man
( or shel l thi nk youre a pl ayer) . Second, peopl e
val ue what they have to work f or.
The Qual i f i cati on phase i s where we sol ve both
probl ems by 1) hel pi ng her work f or your i nterest and then 2) gi vi ng i t to her based on
somethi ng other than her l ooks al one. The Qual i f i cati on phase i s usual l y where you make
your i nterest more speci f i c to her personal i ty.
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37
3. Comfort - Feel i ng comf ort and connecti on wi th
hi m
Comf ort i s usual l y the l ongest phase i n the Emo-
ti onal Progressi on Model . I t begi ns toward the
end of the Qual i f i cati on phase, when i ts cl ear that
both of you are i nterested i n each other. I t ends
when you have establ i shed enough comf ort and
connecti on wi th her that she i s comf ortabl e bei ng
i n a sexual si tuati on wi th you. A sexual si tuati on
i s one i n whi ch a woman i s emoti onal l y ready to
engage i n sexual behavi or ( touchi ng that goes be-
yond ki ssi ng) i n a pl ace where sex coul d real i sti -
cal l y happen.
4. Seducti on - Feel i ng aroused by hi m wi thout
awkwardness or embarrassment
Seducti on i s based pri mari l y on i ntensi f yi ng her
wi l l i ngness to have sex wi th you and mi ti gati ng
her reasons not to. We separate the emoti onal
process of seducti on f rom the physi cal progress
the l atter i s cal l ed Sexual Touch and i s part
of the Physi cal Progressi on Model . We do thi s
because the processes themsel ves are di ff erent.
Physi cal l y, you are tryi ng to arouse her. Emoti on-
al l y, you are tryi ng to make her comf ortabl e wi th
bei ng aroused by you.
These f our emoti ons appl y i n vi rtual l y every si tuati on f rom a woman you meet on the
street to a bl i nd date wi th your si sters best f ri end.
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However, i f youre meeti ng women through col d approach i .e., you dont have any
reason to know each other, but you approached her on the street or i n a coff ee shop or
wherever then there are two phases that have to take pl ace bef ore shed even be ready
to be attracted to you. These are:
1. Approachi ng: St art i ng a si ngl e-subj ect
conversat i on
The Approachi ng phase starts when you f i rst see a
woman youre i nterested i n meeti ng. I t ends when
you start a conversati on wi th her - usual l y about a
speci f i c subj ect. We someti mes cal l the di ff erent
ways of starti ng a conversati on openers or open-
i ng l i nes.
2. Transi ti oi ng: Tur ni ng a si ngl e-subj ect approach
i nt o a normal , f ree-f l owi ng conversat i on
To attract a woman, you shoul d be i n a conversa-
ti on wi th her that can i ncl ude a vari ety of topi cs and
where you can express emoti on. We cal l thi s nor-
mal conversati on. Si nce i ts not al ways easy to go
strai ght f rom an opener i nto normal conversati on,
we of ten use a Transi ti on. The Transi ti on ref ocuses
the dynami c of your i nteracti on and shows a woman
that youre about to start a mul ti -topi c conversati on
wi th her. Thi s can be as si mpl e as i ntroduci ng your-
sel f or as detai l ed as usi ng a speci f i c col d read to
get i nto a speci f i c topi c of conversati on.
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Key Ti ps t o Remember:
1. Attracti on comes before Qual i fi cati on.
Make a woman at t ract ed t o you bef ore showi ng si gni f i cant non-superf i ci al i nt erest
i n her.
2. Attracti on comes before Comfort.
Make a woman attracted to you before aski ng her for l ots of personal i nformati on.
3. Qual i fi cati on comes before Comfort.
Have a woman work to wi n your i nterest bef ore you open up to each other.
4. Comfort comes before Seducti on.
Hel p a woman f eel connected to you bef ore progressi ng sexual l y.
THE PHYSI CAL PROGRESSI ON MODEL
Earl i er versi ons of Love Systems f eatured onl y
the breakthrough concepts of the Emoti onal
Progressi on Model . The i dea of a step-by-
step model and a correct i denti f i cati on of the
key emoti onal phases was revol uti onary at the
ti me, and one of the reasons why Love Sys-
tems i s recogni zed today as the l eadi ng dati ng
coachi ng group.
Sti l l , l i ke any si mpl i f i cati on, i t has i ts l i mi ts.
And one of those i s that as I of ten expl ai n at
our l i ve workshops you cant tal k a woman
i nto bed.
To be consi stentl y successf ul wi th beauti -
f ul women, you shoul d master the art of the
physi cal conversati on. Thi s ranges f rom
subtl e si gnal s - l i ke when one of you reaches out to touch the other to respond to a
humorous comment or to emphasi ze a poi nt to the more obvi ous physi cal advances
DAYTI ME DATI NG
40
l i ke putti ng your arm around her, putti ng her i n your l ap, ki ssi ng her, or more. We cal l i t
a conversati on because her reacti ons to your moves, and your reacti ons to hers, are
equal l y i mportant and bui l d on each other i n sequence.
I remember a date I was on f ew years ago, bef ore I di scovered Love Systems. My f ri end
set me up. She was a graduate student, i ntel l i gent, pl ayf ul , and very attracti ve. We had
a ton i n common, f rom taste i n books and musi c to a shared i nterest i n hi story, astronomy
and cl assi c cul t movi es.
I thought our date went wel l , wi th l ots of l aughs and great conversati on. But when I tri ed
to ki ss her at the end of the ni ght, she pul l ed away. Now, women wi l l rarel y tel l you why
they rej ect you, because they dont want to f eel mean or have awkward conversati ons,
but i n thi s case I happened to run i nto her a coupl e of years l ater, when I was deep i nto
devel opi ng Love Systems. I asked her i f she remembered our date she di d and she
tol d me that shed been real l y i nterested i n me at f i rst, but toward the end of the ni ght
the energy was gone and she thought of me more as a f ri end. Okay.but what di d that
actual l y mean?
I n Love Systems terms, the l ack of physi cal contact and physi cal progressi on over the
course of the ni ght sl owl y but surel y di ssi pated her romanti c/sexual f eel i ngs f or me. She
di dnt even real i ze thi s was happeni ng women of ten dont know why they become at-
tracted or un-attracted and thei r expl anati ons are of ten j ust guesses or rati onal i zati ons
of thei r behavi or. But i n thi s case her meani ng was easy to i nterpret:
Emoti onal Progressi on wi thout Physi cal Progressi on = Lets Just Be Fri ends
I n more techni cal l anguage, I d tri ed to j ump to the end of Romanti c Touch when I hadnt
even establ i shed Soci al Touch ( wel l cover each of the phases of the Physi cal Progres-
si on Model i n a moment) . I hadnt bui l t any momentum, and my sequenci ng error was
the physi cal equi val ent of Ti m approachi ng a beauti f ul woman wi th Comf ort bef ore At-
tracti on.
Bef ore we di ve i nto thi s, i ts i mportant to real i ze that Physi cal Progressi on i snt gropi ng
or f orci ng yoursel f on women. Rather, you are copyi ng the i ntui ti ve touchi ng that many
chari smati c men do natural l y.
For exampl e, U.S. Presi dent Bi l l Cl i nton had an amazi ng abi l i ty to connect wi th peopl e.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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The other day I was watchi ng an ol d newscast, and saw hi m shaki ng hands wi th some-
one. I must have repl ayed i t f our ti mes - there was so much goi ng on. He shook hands
wi th hi s ri ght hand, and hi s l ef t went to the other guys el bow. Then he sai d a coupl e
of words, l aughed, and tapped hi m on the shoul der, al l wi thi n a coupl e of seconds, and
al l compl etel y natural l ooki ng, compl etel y appropri ate, and compl etel y eff ecti ve. Peopl e
who have met hi m al ways tal k about hi s charm and magneti sm and of course he has
a reputati on f or bei ng attracti ve to women, even bef ore he was the Presi dent.
Many men who arent natural l y touchy come to Love Systems thi nki ng that they coul dnt
get away wi th normal physi cal progressi on. Thi s i s why I encourage guys to be the
creepy touchy guy f or a week or so. Someti mes you have to try to del i beratel y over-
shoot the mark to f i nd out where the l i mi ts real l y are. You probabl y have much more
f reedom than you thi nk.
Wi th that i n mi nd, l ets take a l ook at each of the f our phases of the Physi cal Progressi on
Model .
1. Soci al Touch

Soci al Touch i s the ki nd of touch that woul d be so-
ci al l y appropri ate i f the person you are touchi ng i s a
compl ete stranger.
General l y, thi s ki nd of touch i s on the el bow, shoul -
der, or hands. Common exampl es of soci al touch
i ncl ude:

Physi cal l y demonstrati ve handshakes ( Bi l l
Cl i nton exampl e)
Touchi ng someones arm or shoul der when you
are maki ng a poi nt, showi ng a person
somethi ng, or getti ng hi s or her attenti on
Hi gh-f i ves
Games l i ke thumb-wrestl i ng, hot hands, etc., that i nvol ve some touchi ng
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I f youre conf used about whether somethi ng qual i f i es as soci al touch, ask yoursel f : woul d
you touch a man thi s way? I f not, i ts not soci al touch.
Wi th Soci al Touch, you shoul d touch everyone i n a group who i s cl ose to you and treat
everyone equal l y. No speci al attenti on f or women, l et al one f or the woman you are spe-
ci f i cal l y i nterested i n.
Some Soci al Touch opportuni ti es wi l l al most al ways be there. For exampl e, touchi ng
someones arm or shoul der wi l l al ways be a possi bi l i ty. Other opportuni ti es need to be
created. For exampl e, the handshake routi ne ( i n the Love Systems Routi nes Manual ,
Vol ume I ) i s expl i ci tl y desi gned i n part to gi ve you an opportuni ty to create and i ntensi f y
Soci al Touch. Thats the poi nt of physi cal progressi on routi nes to gi ve you bui l t-i n op-
portuni ti es to escal ate your touchi ng.
You can and shoul d i ni ti ate soci al touch as earl y as possi bl e i n an i nteracti on, usual l y
wi thi n 30 seconds. Thi s i s i mportant f or establ i shi ng momentum to move f orward i nto
the next phase of the Physi cal Progressi on Model : Fri endl y Touch.
Thi s i s real l y i mportant. Compare two approaches. Say I approach a group of strang-
ers, and as part of my i ni ti al conversati on, I m usi ng Soci al Touch. A f ew mi nutes l ater,
I pl ayf ul l y put my arm around the woman I m i nterested i n f or a second ( Fri endl y Touch) .
I ts not real l y awkward or worth anyone noti ci ng or commenti ng on. I t f eel s natural , as
escal ati ng physi cal touch al ways shoul d.
Now, say I hadnt done any touchi ng at f i rst. When I try the same arm-around-her move a
f ew mi nutes i nto the conversati on, peopl e wi l l noti ce. I t wi l l seem di ff erent and peopl e
wi l l f eel the shi f t. I ts not natural at al l .
( On a more advanced note, thi s natural f eel i ng i s one reason why we teach men at our
l i ve trai ni ng workshops to al ways be tal ki ng at the ti mes when they are escal ati ng physi -
cal l y ( or l ogi sti cal l y) so that theyre drawi ng attenti on away f rom the escal ati on.)
2. Fri endl y Touch
Fri endl y Touch i mpl i es that you and the person you are touchi ng are more than strangers.
However, i t doesnt necessari l y i mpl y romanti c or sexual i nterest. For exampl e:
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Your arm around someone bri ef l y
Touch on the back
Touch on the l egs ( i n a seated posi ti on)
but not the upper or i nner thi ghs
Fi xi ng someones hai r
Extended touchi ng of someones hands
(Not hol di ng hands rather, the sort of
hand touchi ng i f you were readi ng some
ones pal m)

Hol di ng her hand wi th an excuse ( e.g.,
come wi th me)
Any ki nd of pl ay f i ghti ng
Hugs or French-styl e cheek ki sses
Rol e-pl ayi ng touchi ng
Of ten, thi ngs that qual i f y as Fri endl y Touch coul d al so be Romanti c Touch, dependi ng
on the context and durati on. For exampl e, i f I put my arm around a f emal e f ri end f or a
f ew seconds when I run i nto her, thats Fri endl y Touch. I f I m si tti ng on the couch wi th a
woman wi th my arm around her f or a hal f hour, thats Romanti c Touch.
Fri endl y touch i s a cruci al bri dge between Soci al Touch ( avai l abl e to anyone) and Ro-
manti c Touch ( avai l abl e onl y to potenti al romanti c connecti ons) . I ts great f or testi ng her
i nterest i n you does she reci procate? Pul l away? I ntensi f y the connecti on?
3. Romanti c Touch
Romanti c touch i s somethi ng that i mpl i es a connecti on beyond the j ust f ri ends l evel .
But dont assume anythi ng. Unti l youve ki ssed her, she sti l l has pl ausi bl e deni abi l i ty. She
can be enj oyi ng the f eel i ng of Romanti c Touch, enj oyi ng the f l i rti ng, enj oyi ng the sexual
tensi on, and have absol utel y no i ntenti on of proceedi ng f urther. ( Thats okay peopl e who
l ear n Love Systems get pretty good at getti ng beauti f ul women to change thei r mi nds.)
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Exampl es of Romanti c Touch i ncl ude:
Massages
Stroki ng her hai r
Her si tti ng on your l ap
Hol di ng hands
Etc. ( Note that Romanti c Touch i s not
expl i ci tl y sexual .)
Ki ssi ng comes at the very end of Romanti c Touch
and thats where pl ausi bl e deni abi l i ty ends. The
makeout i s an i mportant si gnpost i n the Physi cal
Progressi on Model . Once she makes out wi th you,
shes not f l i rti ng or bei ng f ri endl y, shes put hersel f out there. ( But see the chapter on
Ki ssi ng i n the book Magi c Bul l ets f or some bi g pi tf al l s about ki ssi ng too soon or how i t
can di ssi pate sexual tensi on and ki l l your chances of advanci ng i nto Sexual Touch. I ts
not true that you shoul d al ways go f or the makeout as soon as you can.)
4. Sexual Touch
Sexual touch i s the end zone of the physi cal mod-
el . I t i ncl udes anythi ng past ki ssi ng.
Were not goi ng to teach you how to have sex i n
thi s book, but we are goi ng to remi nd you of the
potenti al obstacl es and dead ends even once you
get to thi s stage. Most of the ti me, these i ssues
are emoti onal , not physi cal , and are deal t wi th i n
the chapter on Seducti on i n Magi c Bul l ets.
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THE LOGI STI CAL PROGRESSI ON MODEL

A coupl e of years ago, I made the bol d cl ai m
that Advanced game i s pri mari l y about l ogi s-
ti cs. At the ti me, i t was controversi al . Now,
of course, i ts the conventi onal wi sdom. But
what does thi s actual l y mean?
Logi sti cs i s the soci al and physi cal context
that you and a woman are i n, and i ncl udes two
cri ti cal questi ons:
1. Are her f ri ends or other peopl e associ -
ated wi th her around? ( Soci al Logi sti cs)
Thi s onl y appl i es to her peopl e. Your f ri ends
shoul d be on your si de and know what to do.
I f they dont, they coul d be great f ri ends but
theyre not the peopl e you shoul d go out meet-
i ng women wi th. Thi s i s why l ots of guys come to Love Systems l i ve trai ni ng workshops
wi th thei r f ri ends, or end up f i ndi ng qual i ty wi ngmen there.
Few women normal l y want to hook up whi l e thei r f ri ends l ook on. Whi l e advanced guys
are good at changi ng thi s dynami c - somethi ng we tal k about i n our advanced materi al on
f emal e psychol ogy i ts usual l y a saf e assumpti on that you want to get her al one, where
you can be more open wi th each other and where she mi ght be l ess sel f -consci ous.
2. How cl ose are you to a pl ace where sex coul d reasonabl y happen?
( Locati on Logi sti cs)
Theres no sense getti ng her to want to have sex wi th you i f you have nowhere to go.
Whi l e many of the adventures I ve had i n VI P rooms, taxi cabs, and el sewhere have dra-
mati cal l y expanded my personal def i ni ti on of pl aces where sex coul d reasonabl y hap-
pen, the standard assumpti on i s that thi s means your house or hotel room. ( Her pl ace
i s okay too, but usual l y not as eff ecti ve.) Other f actors come i nto pl ay l ogi sti cal l y f or
exampl e, how much ti me she has, whether she has to get up i n the mor ni ng, etc. - but
these are the two most i mportant.
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USI NG LOGI STI CS
Say youre on a date at a bar, youve been tal ki ng to her f or a coupl e of hours, shes
attracted, qual i f i ed, comf ortabl e, and your conversati on has become sexual i zed. Physi -
cal l y, youre al l over each other. But... you l i ve 45 mi nutes away, and she has a f ri ends
bi rthday party she i s supposed to be goi ng to. Her f ri ends are goi ng to be angry wi th her
i f she doesnt tur n up, and theres not enough ti me f or her to come back to your pl ace
and sti l l make i t f or her f ri ends bi rthday.
You, my f ri end, are not goi ng home wi th her toni ght. I n f act, as we wi l l see, i t was
counter-producti ve to advance so f ar Emoti onal l y and Physi cal l y when your Logi sti cs
were so unf avorabl e. Hence, the i mportance of bei ng abl e to qui ckl y assess and manage
l ogi sti cs.
Because the Logi sti cal Progressi on Model has two separate vari abl es ( Soci al and Loca-
ti on) , i t i s a l i ttl e bi t more f l exi bl e than the stri cter step-by-step Emoti onal and Physi cal
systems.
I n other words, you can do the two maj or steps i n any order. You can get her al one f i rst,
and then take her home. Or you can take her home f i rst and then her f ri ends l eave ( or
get di stracted f or l ong enough) . Or you can do both at once e.g., i f you meet her when
shes out wi th f ri ends but the two of you l eave together to go home.
Those are your basi c pl ays, but there are al so a bunch of i ntermedi ate steps avai l abl e to
you, dependi ng on the si tuati on. Use:
Soci al Logi sti cs
Wi n her fri ends: I f you cant get her al one yet, try to get her f ri ends on your
si de or at l east neutral ei ther by getti ng them to communi cate to her that i ts
okay f or her to hook up, or by encouragi ng them to hook up themsel ves. The l atter
opti on i s another reason why good wi ngmen are so val uabl e.
Locati on Logi sti cs
In-venue moves: These are the easi est moves to make. I n a shoppi ng mal l , f or
exampl e, you can move a woman to a seated area or to a coff ee shop. I n-venue
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moves are hel pf ul f or bui l di ng momentum toward bi gger moves l ater. Moreover,
as wel l see bel ow, l ocati on moves general l y hel p you Emoti onal l y and Logi sti cal l y.
Intermedi ate moves: You have more opti ons than stay where you are or go
home. You al so can take her, wi th her f ri ends i f necessary, to one or more
di ff erent venues. I deal l y these shoul d trend geographi cal l y toward home. For
exampl e, you mi ght meet a woman at a restaurant, and then suggest grabbi ng a
dri nk at a pl ace that i s conveni entl y near where you l i ve, bui l di ng momentum
f or the bi g move to your pl ace l ater on.
Reset / Ti me Bri dge: Fi nal l y, theres the common l ogi sti cal tool of the phone
number exchange. Usual l y, when you see her agai n, you can pl an the l ogi sti cs
so that shel l be al one and your date wi l l natural l y end at or near home. Gi ven
that most peopl e are rel ati vel y busy when you meet them i n the dayti me, thi s i s
probabl y the most f requent way youl l l ogi sti cal l y escal ate i n dayti me dati ng.
These l ocati on tool s are especi al l y eff ecti ve when you use l i ttl e moves to create
momentum. Shes more l i kel y to come home wi th you i f shes al ready used to
f ol l owi ng your l ead as you wal ked wi th her down the street, took her a to coff ee
shop, went on a date wi th her i n a bar, took her to a great dessert pl ace near
where you l i ve, and so on.
PUTTI NG I T ALL TOGETHER - I MPLI CATI ONS

One of the reasons the Love Systems Tri ad has been so successf ul i s because i ts f ai rl y
easy to l ear n whi l e i ts i mpl i cati ons can be very advanced and sophi sti cated.
Because everyone i s uni que, some i mpl i cati ons may be more i mportant to your styl e than
others. Weve l ear ned that most peopl e wi l l do better i f they di scover the most i mportant
i mpl i cati ons natural l y through usi ng the Love Systems Tri ad, as opposed to tryi ng to
memori ze them. But here are a f ew i mportant ones to get you started:
1. Al ways be movi ng toward the center.
I f i t doesnt advance you emoti onal l y, physi cal l y, or l ogi sti cal l y, then dont do i t. Suc-
DAYTI ME DATI NG
48
ceedi ng wi th beauti f ul
women i s of ten about
what you dont do as
opposed to what you
actual l y do. Taki ng the
usel ess extra stuff out
of your game shoul d
al ready i mprove your
resul ts.
So - whenever you f eel
stuck move toward
the center.
2. Get momentum on
your si de dont l et i t
work agai nst you.
You cant stay too
l ong i n any phase of any part of the Tri ad f orever. I t wi l l bore or f rustrate most women.
For exampl e, even i f you had a great three hours meeti ng a woman at a party and you
made i t al l the way to the Comf ort phase emoti onal l y and to Romanti c touch physi cal l y,
but the next two weeks consi sted of both of you unl ucki l y l eavi ng messages on each
others voi cemai l , your f ai l ure to move f orward Logi sti cal l y means you wi l l l ose momen-
tum, and, eventual l y, her i nterest. Lack of momentum can work agai nst you through no
f aul t of your own.
Momentum can al so work f or you. Each phase that you can smoothl y pass through
bui l ds up your momentum f or the next one. When a woman tal ks about sl eepi ng wi th you
and says, i t j ust happened, thats momentum at work.
By the way, thi s i s where the more advanced concepts of i nvestment and soci al momen-
tum ( otherwi se outsi de the scope of thi s chapter) come i nto pl ay. I f you can get her to
i nvest i n you by, say, f ol l owi ng you around the bar, or wai ti ng whi l e youre on the phone,
or real l y doi ng anythi ng that you ask her to do that bui l ds soci al momentum that can
be appl i ed ( i n order of i mpact) l ogi sti cal l y, physi cal l y, or emoti onal l y.
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3. Progress i n sync.
Have you ever gotten a woman al l hot and bothered, taken her home, and been near the
f i ni sh l i ne when she says stop... too f ast... why do you l i ke me? You l et the emoti onal
l ag behi nd the physi cal and l ogi sti cal probabl y i n thi s case i t was an i ssue wi th Qual i -
f i cati on.
Or have you ever had a date l i ke my l ets j ust be f ri ends di saster I tal ked about earl i er
- where everythi ng went wel l emoti onal l y and l ogi sti cal l y, but I got rej ected because I
was nowhere physi cal l y?
Dont make avoi dabl e mi stakes. Dont l et any di mensi on l ag way behi nd.
4. There are shortcuts i f you l earn the rel ati onshi ps between speci f i c poi nts on the Tri ad.
A much more advanced and mul ti -di mensi onal i mpl i cati on and one were not goi ng to
f ul l y cover here but that I want to put i n your head so you can recogni ze i t when i t hap-
pens i s that there are speci f i c rel ati onshi ps between the three di mensi ons. The three
model s are not i sol ated and separate.
For exampl e, the very act of movi ng up the f i rst two steps on the Physi cal Progressi on
Model wi l l hel p you emoti onal l y. Study af ter study has shown that women are more apt to
be sexual l y and romanti cal l y i nterested i n men when there i s ( appropri ate) touchi ng as a
subtext to thei r conversati on. Thi s actual l y appl i es to non-romanti c i nteracti ons as wel l .
Some other exampl es:
Locati on moves [ Logi sti cs] hel p you progress emoti onal l y. The more contexts i n
whi ch she sees hersel f wi th you, the better she wi l l f eel she knows you. For
exampl e, a date that hi ts three pl aces f or an hour each i s much better than a
date that stays i n one pl ace f or three hours.
I f you get to Romanti c Touch on the Physi cal Progressi on Model , youve al ready
accompl i shed Attracti on on the Emoti onal Progressi on Model , whether you know
i t or not. Tryi ng to attract a woman who i s al ready attracted i s worse than
poi ntl ess; i ts counter-producti ve.
Dont start Comf ort wi thout hi tti ng Fri endl y Touch. Bui l di ng deep comf ort when
there i s no physi cal conversati on i s the easi est way to get her to say: Lets Just
Be Fri ends.
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Dont get i nto Sexual Touch unl ess you are i n a Logi sti cal ( and Emoti onal )
posi ti on to take advantage of i t. Thi s can di ssi pate sexual tensi on, and actual l y
reduce the chances of seei ng her agai n i f you dont cl ose the deal that ni ght.
.. .,1z
LOVE SYSTEMS TRI AD I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
Now that you understand the Love Systems Tri ad, l ets l ook at how we can appl y thi s to
dayti me dati ng. Al though si tuati ons wi l l vary wi del y, thi s i s the typi cal sort of game pl an
you want to have:
1. Approach and Transi ti on 30 seconds
2. Attract & Qual i fy 1-10 mi nutes
3. Organi ze a date ( wi th speci fi c ti me and pl ace)
4. Date 2-3 hours
Dont treat thi s l i ke a ri gi d schemati c f or al l the women you meet. Every si tuati on and
every woman i s sl i ghtl y di ff erent. But the above i s a good gui del i ne to sti ck to f or the
maj ori ty of women you approach i n the dayti me.
The f i rst part i s approachi ng her and transi ti oni ng i nto a f ul l conversati on. Once youve
done that, you want to bui l d Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on wi th her f or up to around 10
mi nutes. At the end of that conversati on, you want to ask her out. I f she says yes, you
shoul d establ i sh a rough ti me and pl ace to have a date wi th her ( rather than si mpl y taki ng
her number and f ol l owi ng up l ater whi ch as wel l see i n Logi sti cal Progressi on, can l ead
to a l ot of women gi vi ng you thei r phone number but not f ol l owi ng through) .
Dont worry too much about Physi cal Progressi on i n the f i rst i nstance of meeti ng her i n
the dayti me. I ts true that i n a bar or cl ub, i t can be advantageous to get rel ati vel y physi -
cal as soon as you start tal ki ng to her. But i n the dayti me, i ts l ess soci al l y acceptabl e
to do so and you mi ght creep her out i f you try. As a rul e, def i ni tel y avoi d goi ng i nto Ro-
manti c Touch unti l youre on a date wi th her, and possi bl y even wai t unti l then to go i nto
Fri endl y Touch ( though thi s wi l l vary a l i ttl e dependi ng how f ri endl y the woman i s when
you meet her) .
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Once youre on a date wi th her, you shoul d spend a f ew hours wi th her and i f thi ngs go
wel l , ei ther take thi ngs f urther ( f or exampl e, aski ng her to come back to your pl ace) or
endi ng the date wi th an expectati on that youl l see each other agai n.
Thi s mi ght seem overwhel mi ng to do al l thi s ri ght now, but as you read f urther i nto thi s
book, the i ndi vi dual steps and how you make them happen wi l l become cl earer to you.
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PART I I
EMOTIONAL
PROGRESSION
CHAPTERS
5. Approaching
6. Transitioning
7. Attraction
8. Qualication
9. Conversation Mapping
10. Comfort
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CHAPTER 5
APPROACHI NG
CHAPTER OUTLI NE
What i s Approachi ng?
Approachi ng i n Dayti me Dati ng
Verbal El ements of the Approach
Non-verbal El ements of the Approach
Approach Logi sti cs
Advanced Consi derati ons
I ndi rect Approaches
WHAT I S APPROACHI NG?
Approachi ng i s the f i rst stage of Emoti onal Progressi on and si mpl y means starti ng a
conversati on wi th a woman. I ts al so one of the stages that men tend to f i nd the most
i nti mi dati ng because i t natural l y i nvol ves a chance of rej ecti on.
Have you ever been to a bar earl y i n the eveni ng when i ts qui et and noti ced how groups
of peopl e dont real l y mi ngl e and tal k to each other? There are al ways a f ew beauti f ul
women si tti ng around but no one i s approachi ng them. Why? Because no one wants to
be the f i rst guy to do i t.
I f you do pl uck up the courage to go have a f i ve mi nute conversati on wi th a coupl e of
beauti f ul women, suddenl y you open the f l oodgates and youl l noti ce other men ap-
proachi ng them i mmedi atel y af ter you. Seei ng you do i t has gi ven them permi ssi on to do
i t themsel ves.
I n most dayti me si tuati ons, you have to l ear n to be that f i rst guy: to gi ve yoursel f per-
mi ssi on. Seei ng other peopl e doi ng dayti me approaches i s rare ( whi ch i s why the
are so usef ul ) . Most peopl e, when they l ook around i n dayti me si tuati ons
and see strangers not tal ki ng to each other ( the cl assi c exampl e i s on a subway or bus) ,
thi nk, Wel l , i f no one el se i s doi ng i t, I probabl y shoul dnt ei ther. You have to f i ght these
DAYTI ME DATI NG
54
thoughts and be wi l l i ng to do what every other guy i s thi nki ng of doi ng but doesnt have
the courage to.
These are some of the thi ngs that went through my head years ago when I di d my f i rst
f ew approaches on women I di dnt know ( what we cal l col d approaches) :
She i s goi ng to thi nk I m wei rd
She i s goi ng to tel l me to get l ost
She i s out of my l eague
Everyone i s goi ng to l ook at me
I am goi ng to f eel si l l y
Be wi l l i ng to chal l enge these assumpti ons every ti me you f eel them. I ts true that these
thoughts and emoti ons can cause di scomf ort f or a f ew mi nutes, but youl l pref er them to
the much l onger-l asti ng f eel i ng of regret youl l experi ence f or the next f ew hours, days or
weeks i f you dont approach a woman you l i ke.
APPROACHI NG I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
There are a f ew i mportant di ff erences to approachi ng women i n the dayti me as opposed
to doi ng so at ni ght i n a bar or cl ub.
The women you approach wi l l of ten be busy or on thei r way somewhere when
you meet them.

You wont al ways have a chance to spend l ots of ti me wi th them ( and run through the
whol e Love Systems Tri ad model ) i n the f i rst i nstance, but wi l l typi cal l y have to arrange
to meet her agai n at another ti me ( i .e. set up a date) .
Women wi l l more of ten be al one than they woul d i n a ni ghtcl ub or bar.
Thi s means you dont need to thi nk about entertai ni ng a group and i mpressi ng al l of her
f ri ends as much, but can f ocus on connecti ng wi th her i ndi vi dual l y.
Women are approached f ar l ess of ten i n the dayti me than at ni ght.
For thi s reason, women tend to be a l ot more i mpressed when you approach them i n the
dayti me, and the process of bui l di ng an i nteracti on can of ten seem easi er than at ni ght.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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Now l ets take a l ook at exactl y how to approach a woman you f i nd attracti ve i n the day-
ti me. Were goi ng to cover the mai n verbal and non-verbal el ements of an approach, and
then some more advanced consi derati ons.
VERBAL ELEMENTS OF THE APPROACH
The si mpl est, easi est, and most powerf ul way you can approach a woman i n the day-
ti me i s use what we cal l a di rect approach, whi ch means expressi ng some i mmedi ate
physi cal i nterest i n her i n order to begi n a conversati on. I t does not mean aski ng her
out i mmedi atel y, aski ng f or a phone number, or tel l i ng her you want to sl eep wi th her,
but rather payi ng her a compl i ment and expressi ng i n some way that you want to have a
conversati on wi th her.
Hi stori cal l y i n the f i el d of seducti on, theres been a l ot of di scussi on on the benef i ts of
di rect versus i ndi rect approaches, where your physi cal i nterest i n her i s masked and a
conversati on begi ns through means of a ruse or gambi t. I ts my personal pref erence to
use di rect approaches most of the ti me f or dayti me dati ng, and thi s i s what I ve f ound to
be the most eff ecti ve f or most dayti me envi ronments. However, we wi l l al so take a l ook
at i ndi rect approaches af ter thi s.
The structure of a good di rect approach on a woman l ooks l i ke thi s:
[ Get her at t ent i on] + [ Soci al Cal i brat i on] + [ Compl i ment ]
You have to get her attenti on so she l i stens to what you are about to say; the meat of
whi ch wi l l be the compl i ment. The Soci al Cal i brati on part i s about adj usti ng to whatever
si tuati on youre both i n, to make her f eel more comf ortabl e and demonstrate some soci al
i ntel l i gence ( whi ch wel l tal k more about i n Attracti on l ater) .
Some exampl es are:
Excuse me, I j ust saw you wal ki ng past, and I had to come tel l you that you l ook
absol utel y beauti f ul .
Excuse me, I j ust saw you si tti ng there, and I wanted to come tel l you that you l ook
i ncredi bl e.
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Hi , I saw you f rom across the room and I thought you l ooked gorgeous. I wanted
to come i ntroduce mysel f .
You can pl ay wi th these a l i ttl e bi t, and you shoul d. Putti ng your own spi n on the openi ng
l i ne i s i mportant to i nj ect your own personal i ty i nto i t, to show a bi t of the real you, and
al so to ensure that you enj oy the process of tal ki ng to women. At the start, however, f eel
f ree to use the l i nes above verbati m unti l you f eel comf ortabl e ad l i bbi ng and expressi ng
how you genui nel y f eel moment to moment f or each woman you see.
Soci al Cal i brat i on
The Soci al Cal i brati on part of your openi ng l i ne i s the I saw you wal ki ng past/si tti ng
there/standi ng there ( or any other i nf ormati on on what you saw her doi ng) . Thi s el ement
hel ps to ground what i s about to f ol l ow i n your openi ng l i ne. I f you l eave out the Soci al
Cal i brati on, i t can appear a bi t abrupt to run up to a woman and j ust excl ai m, Youre
gorgeous!
You can vary the Soci al Cal i brati on. I t doesnt al ways have to be about her; i t can be
about what youre doi ng too.
Here are some other exampl es:
I was j ust over there wi th my f ri ends and coul dnt hel p but noti ce you
My f ri end and I saw you standi ng there...
I m l ate to a meeti ng, and I probabl y shoul dnt be stoppi ng, but I j ust saw you
Compl i ment
The compl i ment shoul d demonstrate an expl i ci t physi cal i nterest i n her attracti veness.
Dont f or exampl e, say thi ngs l i ke you have great shoes or I l i ke your scarf ( or at l east,
dont say these thi ngs al one) otherwi se she mi ght mi sconstrue you to be i nterested i n
havi ng a conversati on about f ashi on. You want to communi cate i n some expl i ci t way that
you f i nd her physi cal l y attracti ve f i rst, and then i f you want you can comment on more
speci f i c thi ngs i n her styl e.
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I of ten start wi th somethi ng f ai rl y generi c, f or exampl e I thi nk you l ook gorgeous, but
then add on somethi ng a l i ttl e more speci f i c.
For exampl e:
I real l y l i ke your sense of styl e.
The way you carr y yoursel f j ust reeks of sel f -conf i dence. I l i ke that.
Somethi ng about the way your hai r i s done caught my eye. I ts stri ki ng.
By compl i menti ng somethi ng speci f i c about her, you make her f eel more speci al and not
j ust a random woman you approached ( i n thi s way, youve actual l y begun a l i ttl e Qual i f i -
cati on) . Al so, i f youre goi ng to use a speci f i c compl i ment, f ocus on somethi ng wi thi n her
control l i ke her styl e, her hai r or her body l anguage ( the way she stands, si ts or wal ks
f or exampl e) , rather than characteri sti cs she cant control , l i ke her eye col our or hei ght.
NON-VERBAL ELEMENTS OF THE APPROACH
Your styl e, your body l anguage and your speech are al l goi ng to have a bi g i mpact on how
wel l your di rect approaches work. I ts i mportant to bear the f ol l owi ng i n mi nd:
Look your best. Dress styl i shl y, f i x your hai r and be cl ean. Dont wal k out of the
house l ooki ng your worst and thi nki ng i t doesnt matter. You mi ght see the most
beauti ful woman youve ever seen and then forever regret that you had a mustard
stai n on your whi te shi rt.
Carry yoursel f wel l . Keep your head up, your shoul ders back and your chest
pushed f orwards. Dont l ook at the ground when youre wal ki ng. Dont sl ouch
when youre si tti ng.
Speak confi dentl y. Take the ti me to f i gure out exactl y what youre goi ng to say
and then say i t cl earl y and conci sel y. Tal ki ng too sof tl y or tal ki ng excessi vel y
demonstrates a l ack of conf i dence i n what you are sayi ng.
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Sl ow down and pause. Most guys del i ver thei r approach too f ast. Sl ow down the
pace of your openi ng words: try pausi ng f or a f ew seconds af ter you get her
attenti on wi th the excuse me and al so af ter you f i ni sh del i veri ng the
compl i ment ( and j ust bef ore you ask her name) . I n those bri ef pauses, mai ntai n
strong eye contact wi th her and smi l e. The pausi ng el ement al one wi l l skyrocket
the success of your approaches ( but honestl y, you wont bel i eve me unti l you try
i t to see what I mean) . Try a three-second pause ( I know i t sounds l i ke a l ong
ti me) i n your openi ng l i ne and see how i t changes the dynami c.
Strong body l anguage and conf i dence i n your speech are easi er to model f rom real l i f e
than they are to understand f rom a wri tten book. Have a l ook at men who are conf i dent
and observe how they move, stand, gesti cul ate and speak. The key peopl e to l ook at are
those wi th hi gh status; f or exampl e, CEOs, cel ebri ti es and other men that you see women
bei ng very attracted to.
APPROACH LOGI STI CS
I n order to start a conversati on wi th a woman, you have to be abl e to get her attenti on
i n the most eff ecti ve way possi bl e. That i s why the Excuse me part of the approach i s
i mportant to ensure that she l i stens to the rest of what you are about to say.
For exampl e, f or women standi ng on the street or si tti ng on a park bench, i ts not too di f -
f i cul t to get thei r attenti on. You j ust go up to them and del i ver your approach. For women
who are seated down, i f they respond wel l to your i ni ti al approach and you can get i nto
conversati on wi th them, you need to si t down wi th them j ust ask Do you mi nd i f I j oi n
you f or a mi nute?
For women who are wal ki ng past you on the street, however, i t can be a l i ttl e bi t more
i nvol ved. Theyre on thei r way somewhere, so you have to work a l i ttl e harder to get thei r
attenti on. I ve di scovered through years of tri al and i mprovement that the best thi ng i s
to approach them f rom behi nd and to the si de a l i ttl e, touch them l i ghtl y on the arm and
then del i ver your approach as you ( and hopef ul l y her) stop movi ng. Even i f I see her wal k-
i ng towards me, I wi l l l et her pass and then tur n around to approach her f rom behi nd.
Heres a di agram to expl ai n f urther:

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I l l ustrati ons by Jess Per na, JessPer na.com
STEP 1 STEP 2
STEP 3 STEP 4
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To some peopl e i t sounds counteri ntui ti ve to approach f rom behi nd. But i f you approach
them f rom the f ront as they wal k towards you, i t can appear as i f youre tryi ng to sel l
somethi ng to them, especi al l y i n bi g ci ti es whi ch are ri f e wi th street sel l ers. On the other
hand, i f you approach f rom behi nd and l i ghtl y touch a woman on the arm, i ts al most as i f
an ol d f ri end must have seen her wal ki ng past and wanted to say hel l o. Of course when
she tur ns around and di scovers that i ts a stranger, thats your chance to del i ver a good
approach and f l atter her.
I f you f i nd that a woman doesnt stop movi ng as you touch her and say your openi ng l i ne,
dont conti nue movi ng wi th her to do so woul d l ook creepy. Stop dead i n your tracks
and proj ect your voi ce unti l she stops. I f she stops, you can cl ose the di stance as you
keep tal ki ng to her. I f she doesnt stop, dont worry. Maybe she was too busy, maybe your
body l anguage was off , but regardl ess, there are pl enty more women you can approach.
To better understand approach l ogi sti cs and see dayti me approaches i n acti on, check
out the Love Systems Youtube channel where you can see hi dden camera f ootage of me
approachi ng women:
ADVANCED CONSI DERATI ONS
Once you start doi ng a l ot of dayti me approaches, youl l probabl y noti ce a f ew si tuati ons
that are a l i ttl e more chal l engi ng, f or exampl e, approachi ng a woman when shes wal k-
i ng wi th a f ri end or group of f ri ends. I f youre not comf ortabl e approachi ng a woman by
hersel f , then dont worry too much about the more di ff i cul t si tuati ons ri ght now. Focus on
maki ng the verbal and non-verbal el ements of your approachi ng strong bef ore you do so.
Chal l engi ng si tuati ons are actual l y real l y good opportuni ti es to demonstrate your soci al
i ntel l i gence ( whi ch as wel l see i n the Attracti on chapter i s very attracti ve to a woman) .
Here are some ti ps f or deal i ng wi th some of the more common ones:
I f she i s wi th a f ri end, acknowl edge the f ri end pol i tel y af ter youve started the
conversati on. I f you are bei ng di rect, af ter youve approached the woman you
want, say, Youre very l ovel y too, but I j ust have a thi ng f or XYZ [ f or exampl e,
brunettes, tal l gi rl s, gi rl s i n red dresses] to the f ri end. Then make sure to get
the f ri end i nvol ved i n whatever conversati ons youre havi ng.
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I f you moved a l arge di stance or di verted f rom your ori gi nal path of wal ki ng to
tal k to her, tel l her, f or exampl e, Excuse me, I was j ust eati ng my l unch over
there when I saw you si tti ng here you l ooked so beauti f ul and charmi ng. I had
to come say hel l o.
I f she l ooks startl ed as you start tal ki ng, say, I m sorry, I di dnt mean to startl e
you! I j ust had to come over and tel l you... bef ore you l aunch i nto your normal
approach.
I f i ts real l y crowded where she i s, consi der wai ti ng a l i ttl e unti l theres more
space to approach her. The more peopl e she has bustl i ng by her, the more
apprehensi ve she i s goi ng to be when you approach her, so i t mi ght be worth
wai ti ng unti l she i s i n an area that i snt as crowded.
I f you are anythi ng l i ke me when I f i rst started approachi ng women i n the dayti me, you
wi l l make al l sorts of excuses to not approach a woman. You wi l l cl ai m you cant because
she i s wi th f ri ends, she l ooks busy or she l ooks mean. As a f ri end of mi ne once tol d me,
There are al ways a hundred reasons not to approach her, and onl y one reason why you
shoul d.
Heres a good exampl e of approachi ng i n a si tuati on where most men woul dnt have the
key was j ust to be soci al l y i ntel l i gent. I recentl y dated a young model whom I m met whi l e
she was out shoppi ng wi th her mother. I approached both of them, started tal ki ng to the
mother, commenti ng on how beauti f ul her daughter was and how she had done wel l to
rai se her. Af ter i ntroduci ng mysel f ( f i rst to the mother and then the daughter) , I tur ned to
the daughter and f ound out a l i ttl e bi t more about her. I made sure to keep the mother
engaged i n conversati on f rom ti me to ti me so that she di dnt f eel awkward. By approach-
i ng the mother f i rst who had the power i n the soci al si tuati on and compl i menti ng her
f or rai si ng her daughter wel l , I had shown hi gh soci al i ntel l i gence. Af ter that i t was down
to me to have an i nteresti ng conversati on wi th both of them.
I NDI RECT APPROACHES
Al though usi ng a di rect approach i s my personal pref erence, I ve had some cl i ents that
never f ound i t comf ortabl e to be so upf ront about thei r physi cal i nterest i n a woman. For
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these guys, they f eel much more comf ortabl e starti ng an i nnocuous conversati on wi th a
woman about what shes l i steni ng to on her i Pod, the book shes readi ng, or somethi ng
el se goi ng on i n the si tuati on around them.
I ts al ways worth experi menti ng and persi sti ng f or a whi l e wi th di rect approaches i f youve
never tri ed them, but i f they are real l y not your thi ng then by al l means, use i ndi rect ap-
proaches.
There are vari ous types of i ndi rect approach such as opi ni on, si tuati onal , and f uncti onal .
The i nf ormati on on when and how to use these approaches has al ready been covered i n
great detai l i n and theres no poi nt re-i nventi ng the wheel here. But l ets
l ook at a coupl e of f actors that you shoul d take i nto consi derati on when usi ng i ndi rect
approaches i n dayti me dati ng.
Fi rst, because women are general l y i n a l ess soci al mi ndset i n the dayti me ( of ten on thei r
way to meeti ngs, on l unch breaks etc.) than at ni ght, you have to be caref ul to ground
your approach appropri atel y to the si tuati on youre i n. When youre i n a bar, you can ask
a woman her opi ni on on somethi ng as i f you had j ust been havi ng a conversati on wi th
a f ri end about i t ( because i ts a soci al context, i ts not beyond the real m of normal i ty to
start tal ki ng to peopl e around you about random thi ngs) .
But i f you stop a woman on the street and ask f or her opi ni on on somethi ng, she wi l l
thi nk, Why i s he aski ng me, i nstead of the dozens of other women wal ki ng past? On the
other hand, i f youre i n a cl othes store and ask f or an opi ni on on some cl othes, i t woul d
be grounded to the context and make more sense.
Second, how di stracted she i s wi l l aff ect how successf ul an i ndi rect approach i s. For ex-
ampl e, a f uncti onal approach such as, Do you have a l i ght? or Do you know where the
nearest Starbucks i s? mi ght work f or a woman standi ng somewhere by hersel f or per-
haps wal ki ng sl owl y. But a woman i n a rush, carryi ng l ots of bags or f ranti cal l y browsi ng
cl othes on a di scount rack i s probabl y goi ng to i nvest much l ess i n an i ndi rect conversa-
ti on. I n such cases, i t mi ght be hard to successf ul l y approach her anyway, but i f youre
goi ng to try i t, your best shot i s to be di rect.
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Here are some more exampl es of i ndi rect approaches:
What are you l i steni ng to on your i Pod? I m real l y bored of my pl ayl i st at the
moment.
Ive heard that book i s real l y good. If I coul d read, Id total l y buy i t. How are you
enj oyi ng i t?
Thi s subway i s so crowded. I f I f ai nt, wi l l you catch me?
Wow, your l aptop i s so much cool er than mi ne. Im j eal ous. I total l y have l aptop
envy ri ght now.
Youre not f rom around here, are you?
How t o Make a Di rect Approach Work
Here are the f undamental thi ngs to be aware of when usi ng a di rect approach.
1. Have st rong body l anguage
I f you sl ouch, pl ace your hands i n a suppl i cati ng posi ti on ( f or exampl e, wi th your pal ms
f aci ng up) or avoi d eye contact, she wi l l i mmedi atel y thi nk you are a l ow status man. Con-
centrate on pushi ng your chest out, keepi ng your shoul ders back, hol di ng your head hi gh
and movi ng at a sl ow pace at al l ti mes especi al l y when you are del i veri ng the approach.
2. Have st rong speech
The most i mportant thi ngs i n your speech are to sl ow i t down and i ncl ude pauses. I f you
rush the whol e approach out i mmedi atel y, i t sounds l i ke youre af rai d she i s goi ng to run
away bef ore you have a chance to f i ni sh. I ncl ude pauses f or dramati c eff ect between
parts of the approach, f or exampl e, Excuse me... [ pause] I j ust saw you wal ki ng past...
[ pause] and I had to come tel l you... [ pause] your outf i t i s i ncredi bl e. Al so, dont rai se
your voi ce at the end of the sentence i t sounds l i ke you are suppl i cati ng i f you do.
3. Compl i ment somet hi ng speci f i c
I ts very easy to tel l a woman shes beauti f ul but i t takes a hi gh status man to noti ce the
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speci f i cs of what i s attracti ve about her. A man that pays attenti on to detai l i n the f i rst
f ew seconds i s normal l y a man that pays attenti on to her i n bed. You wi l l general l y do
best to compl i ment a woman on her styl e, her hai r or her body l anguage. Use unusual
words that most men probabl y woul dnt thi nk of usi ng i n a compl i ment, f or exampl e, el -
egant, gracef ul or al l uri ng.
Here are some speci fi c exampl es:
You have an i ncredi bl e styl e. I ts cl ear that you have good taste and a sense of
coordi nati on.
I l ove the way your hai r j ust cascades of f your head l i ke that. I ts so al l uri ng.
You carr y yoursel f wi th such conf i dence, and yet wi thout any hi nt of arrogance.
4. Show t hat you have hi gh st andards
I n addi ti on to maki ng the compl i ment speci f i c, you can al so show hi gh status by i nci den-
tal l y menti oni ng your standards. For exampl e, af ter she responds to the i ni ti al compl i -
ment you coul d say, Seri ousl y, i ts so rare where I m f rom to see a woman wi th thi s ki nd
of styl e; you have somethi ng uni que about you that most women dont have.
By poi nti ng out that most women you meet dont have the qual i ty that youve compl i -
mented her f or, youre showi ng that youre abl e to meet a l ot of women but that most of
them the average ones hol d no i nterest f or you. Youre af ter somethi ng speci al , and
theref ore you are unl i ke the average guy.
5. Show t hat you want more t han j ust l ooks
The ul ti mate goal of the approach i s not to i mpress her or to begi n the process of seduc-
ti on. The ul ti mate goal i s to start a conversati on i n order to f i nd out whether you want
to get to know her better or not. Thi s i s a mi ndset that most guys dont ever consi der
adopti ng; theyve al ready deci ded j ust f rom the way she l ooks that they want to sl eep
wi th her. A man wi th abundance and real choi ce i n hi s l i f e wants much more.
Set the tone that you started the conversati on wi th her because shes physi cal l y attrac-
ti ve, but you want to f i nd out more to see i f she i s your type. I of ten tag, I had to come
and f i nd out some more about you, i nto the approach or the f i rst mi nute of conversa-
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ti on. For exampl e, Excuse me, I saw you wal ki ng past and I l oved your styl e. I wanted
to come and f i nd out some more about you.
Contrast thi s wi th, Youre beauti f ul . I had to come and ask you out on a date, whi ch
shows that youre wi l l i ng to commi t your preci ous ti me j ust on the basi s of her bei ng
good l ooki ng. Thats not a trai t of the hi gh status man.
6. Be ready t o l ead t he conversat i on on af t er t he approach
Most guys expect a di rect approach to make a woman magi cal l y j ump you or excl ai m,
Wow, youre so brave! Take my number! af ter del i veri ng i t. But the i deal and most com-
mon response i s si mpl y her bei ng pl easantl y surpri sed and sayi ng, Thank you. Af ter
thi s, i t i s sti l l down to you to l ead the conversati on and have an attracti ve i nteracti on.
You can take i t where you want af ter the approach. I tend to ask a f ew questi ons to f i gure
out what the womans personal i ty and l i f estyl e i s l i ke and whether shes someone I want
to get to know better. I mi ght al so get some banter goi ng by maki ng a f ew si tuati onal
j okes. The i mportant thi ng i s to have some f ol l ow-up i mmedi atel y af ter the approach,
otherwi se you wi l l get j ust a Thank you, and the woman wi l l tur n back to whatever she
was doi ng.
7. Bel i eve t hat she i s goi ng t o respond posi t i vel y
Thi s i s a hard one. Approaches work best when you bel i eve they are goi ng to work
because your body l anguage and speech are al i gned i n a way conduci ve to i t worki ng.
That bel i ef onl y trul y comes when you have enough posi ti ve ref erence experi ences of i t
worki ng.
So real i ze that the f i rst ten, f i f ty or hundred ti mes you try i t, i t mi ght be tough. But at
some poi nt you wi l l get i nto a f ew real l y good conversati ons and start to see i t worki ng.
At thi s poi nt, you have good ref erence experi ences and you wi l l f eel more conf i dent to
approach a woman di rectl y.
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CHAPTER SUMMARY
The basi c structure of a di rect dayti me approach i s:
[ Get her attenti on] + [ Soci al Cal i brati on] + [ Compl i ment] .
I n addi ti on to the verbal el ements, i ts i mportant to f ocus on non-verbal el ements
i n your approach such as your styl e, your body l anguage and your speech.
For a woman wal ki ng past you, l et her wal k past and then doubl e back, catch up
to her and touch her l i ghtl y on the arm to del i ver your approach. For a woman
seated down, approach her, and then i f she responds wel l , ask her i f you can j oi n
her f or a mi nute.
I f you try di rect approaches and you real l y cant get used to them, you can try i n
di rect approaches. However, f or these to work, youl l need to f ocus on
approachi ng women i n stati c setti ngs and getti ng i nto an appropri ate posi ti on
where you coul d start a seemi ngl y i nnocuous conversati on.

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CHAPTER 6
TRANSI TI ONI NG
Af ter you approach a woman and she responds, you need to begi n a bi gger conversati on.
Transi ti oni ng i s the second stage of Emoti onal Progressi on and achi eves thi s.
I n the dayti me, parti cul arl y i f youve used a di rect approach, transi ti oni ng i s very easy.
I ts of ten as si mpl e as i ntroduci ng yoursel f , exchangi ng names and shaki ng the womans
hand.
Al though i t sounds si mpl e, i t i s a very i mportant step. By i ntroduci ng yoursel f , you com-
muni cate to her i n a soci al l y i ntel l i gent way, Were about to have a conversati on, whi ch
wi l l al l ow you to start tal ki ng and ask about mul ti pl e topi cs. Al so, shaki ng her hand i s a
f orm of Soci al Touch, whi ch begi ns Physi cal Progressi on ( covered i n detai l l ater on) .
I f a woman responds real l y wel l to your i ni ti al approach, thi s exchange of names and
handshake i s normal l y al l you need. However, i f she doesnt respond so wel l and doesnt
l ook too i mpressed, i t mi ght hel p to use a stronger transi ti on.
I n such cases, re-emphasi ze what you ori gi nal l y sai d and then tangent i nto somethi ng
that you noti ced about her or some rel ated topi c. What you tangent onto shoul d demon-
strate somethi ng i nteresti ng about you, or cal l attenti on to somethi ng of i nterest about
her. Here are some exampl es:
No real l y, there are a l ot of good-l ooki ng gi rl s i n thi s ci ty, but you have a uni que
styl e. I m guessi ng that you do somethi ng creati ve f or a l i vi ng or i n your spare
ti me?
I meant what I sai d about the way you carr y yoursel f . You real l y do have a
gracef ul wal k. I m wonderi ng whether youre a dancer or have had some ki nd of
dance trai ni ng bef ore?
Real l y, you do have an i nteresti ng l ook ver y di f f erent f rom most of the women I
meet i n thi s ci ty. I m guessi ng youre not f rom around here?
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Noti ce i n these exampl es theres an i mpl i ci t sense that you have some rel evant experi -
ence i n those thi ngs you cal l attenti on to. For exampl e, by ( hopef ul l y correctl y) guessi ng
about her dance trai ni ng, i t shows that youve ei ther dated dancers bef ore, you have
f ri ends who are dancers, or youve worked i n the i ndustry yoursel f . By enqui ri ng about
her creati vi ty, youre gi vi ng her an opportuni ty to tal k about somethi ng she i s probabl y
passi onate about. By poi nti ng out that shes di ff erent f rom most of the women youve
met i n thi s ci ty, youre demonstrati ng that youre not short of choi ce f or women i n your
l ove l i f e, but maybe youre pi cky.
Usi ng stronger transi ti ons l i ke these gi ve a woman a wi ndow i nto what el se you have to
off er. A l ot of thi s wi l l become cl earer as we go through the next chapter on Attracti on
and tal k about how you have to off er soci al val ue to a woman.
Formi ng t he Approach Habi t
By , Love Systems i nstructor
We are what we repeatedl y do. Excel l ence then, i s not an act, but a habi t.
- Ari stotl e
Most of us are awake and movi ng about the worl d duri ng the day f ar more than at ni ght.
We shop, we work, we eat and we travel . For those of us who l i ve i n or near a popul ated
area l i ke a ci ty, there are l ots of opportuni ti es to meet beauti f ul women i n the dayti me.
When I f i rst arri ved at uni versi ty, I woul d go out at ni ght wi th my f ri ends to meet gi rl s.
Perhaps three or f our ti mes a week we woul d hi t the cl ub and spend hours approachi ng
groups of women and hi tti ng on them. Later, af ter f i ndi ng and bei ng armed
wi th new knowl edge, I woul d i ncrease thi s practi ce and of ten go al one to bars and cl ubs
to meet new peopl e and exerci se my soci al muscl e. I f el t nervous at f i rst but af ter a cou-
pl e of approaches i n an eveni ng thi s f eel i ng woul d f ade. Af ter that, i t was as i f my motor
was runni ng; I d have a sense of f l ow, exci tement and soci al l ubri cati on. Af ter those i ni ti al
nervous conversati ons, I f el t accl i mati zed to approachi ng strangers and coul d work on
other aspects of my dati ng ski l l beyond the i ni ti al approach.
I nevi tabl y, the ni ght woul d end, wi th al l i ts vari ous ups and downs. Lo and behol d, the
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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next ti me I went out to the bar, that f ear of approach was once agai n back to bother me.
Goi ng out speci f i cal l y to tal k to and meet new women i s great f or practi ci ng core aspects
of your dati ng ski l l s but somethi ng most peopl e do not practi ce as i ntensel y i s overcom-
i ng that i ni ti al rel uctance to approach, of ten ref erred to as approach anxi ety. Thi s i s
si mpl y because af ter a coupl e of i nteracti ons, thi s f eel i ng f ades. Af ter that i ni ti al warm-
up peri od, we usual l y f i nd the soci al motor i s runni ng, were havi ng f un and approachi ng
wi thout too much worry, but i t doesnt l ast. Every ti me we go out, thi s f eel i ng tends to
crop up and needs to be overcome agai n.
I t i s general l y accepted that thi s i s j ust the way i t must be. The of t-prescri bed sol uti on i s
to bur n through some warm-up approaches to get i n the ri ght mood. But what i f i t was
possi bl e to greatl y mi ni mi ze that f eel i ng of nervousness over ti me so that you coul d gen-
erate the momentum to approach at any ti me you wi shed wi thout the need to warm up?
What i f there was a way to f orm a habi t of approachi ng beauti f ul gi rl s?
Pi cture the scene: youre shoppi ng f or groceri es, on publ i c transport or wal ki ng down the
street and you see a beauti f ul gi rl . You dont have the advantage of the mental run-up
f rom whi ch you can make a consci ous deci si on to practi ce your dati ng ski l l s today, you
have no f ri ends nearby to spur you on and you cant j ust bur n through two or three ap-
proaches to get on a rol l and then approach thi s gi rl . Youre j ust goi ng about your dai l y
l i f e and bam, she appears! Do you approach? Can you approach?
The Fi rst Hot Gi rl
Approach the f i rst hot gi rl you see ever y day. I t wi l l change your l i f e.
- Sasha
Begi n an i nteracti on wi th a stranger, pref erabl y a beauti f ul woman, everyday. Thi s begi ns
to f orm an approach habi t the dai l y habi t of i ni ti ati ng conversati on wi th someone f rom
col d. Over ti me, thi s habi t can become so i ngrai ned that i t wi l l actual l y f eel strange not
to approach a hot gi rl . The energy that you previ ousl y experi enced as f ear and pani c wi l l
morph i nto exci tement, pl ayf ul ness and enj oyment.
Thi s wi l l not onl y hel p you greatl y mi ni mi ze approach anxi ety, but the dai l y routi ne wi l l
have you meeti ng more gi rl s than ever bef ore.
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Trai ni ng Your Eye
Formi ng the approach habi t wi l l al so go a l ong way towards trai ni ng your eye to become
aware of the opportuni ti es al ready present i n your surroundi ngs. I f you know you need to
approach at l east one gi rl i n your l unch break f or i nstance, you get good at noti ci ng the
attracti ve gi rl s al l around you.
I t i s not unusual , a week or so i nto thi s, f or peopl e to say thi ngs al ong the l i nes of , I
never real i zed there were so many hot gi rl s around here! Someti mes we can work and
l i ve i n an area f or years wi thout real i zi ng the opportuni ti es al l around us.
Don t Run t he Perf ect Approach
Dont worry about runni ng the perf ect approach i n every one of these i nteracti ons. At
f i rst, dont even worry about conti nui ng the conversati on. I f you are short on ti me, j ust
make your dai l y i nteracti on a qui ck one. Remember, we are f ormi ng the approach habi t.
For thi s purpose, i t i s more i mportant at f i rst to approach than to necessari l y take i t any-
where. Dont l et the pressure of What do I say next? and What i f ? questi ons di s-
suade you f rom taki ng acti on.
When you spot that gi rl , and you get that f eel i ng of I shoul d/coul d/can/want to approach
her, go tal k to her. I f i t l asts ten seconds or ten mi nutes, i t doesnt matter j ust ap-
proach. Form the approach habi t.
Avoi d Burnout
Habi t i s habi t and not to be f l ung out of the wi ndow by any man, but coaxed downstai rs
a step at a ti me.
- Mark Twai n
I ts much l i ke j oi ni ng a gym. I n the f i rst f l ush of enthusi asm and novel ty, the temptati on i s
to go very f requentl y and stay f or hours, worki ng real l y hard. But conti nue down thi s road
and i t i s very l i kel y youl l experi ence bur n out. You wi l l l ose your moti vati on and weeks
wi l l go by bef ore you darken the gym door agai n ( i f at al l ! ) . I t i s much more sensi bl e ( and
heal thy) to do shorter workouts and rati on that dri ve f or the l ong-haul heal th benef i ts of
regul ar exerci se.
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Consi der thi s poi nt when embarki ng on your mi ssi on to f orm the approach habi t. One a
day f or a month i s f ar better than ten i n two days, bur ni ng out and doi ng nothi ng f or the
rest of the month.
Fi nd Your Wi ndow
Look at your l i f estyl e, f i nd the wi ndow of ti me where you can make your dai l y approach
and sti ck to i t. For me, I had a l ong commute, so I woul d use the trai n j our ney and ap-
proach at l east one gi rl on the way i nto London and one on the way out of London. For
you, your l unch break mi ght be an i deal ti me. Whatever i t i s, f i nd your wi ndow.
Scal e I t Up
I t can f eel more chal l engi ng to approach duri ng the day wi thout havi ng a f ri end ( a wi ng-
man) there to encourage you.
I f youre al one and f eel i ng nervous, j ust take off some pressure. Scal e the opener you
use i f youre petri f i ed, you dont have to start di rect and bal l sy, start more si tuati onal
and l ow-key. For exampl e, a f uncti onal approach such as, Excuse me, do you know i f
theres a Starbucks around here? i s much easi er to muster the courage to del i ver than,
I saw you f rom across the street and I j ust had to come say hi , because I thi nk youre
gorgeous! I f you gradual l y scal e up your materi al , j ust as you woul d add wei ght to your
bench press routi ne, you wi l l be abl e to del i ver the l atter approach wi th ease and enthu-
si asm.
Fashi on
I f youre goi ng to f orm thi s habi t, be ready. Al ways l eave the house dressed wel l , what-
ever that means f or your l i f estyl e. Throw out your bad cl othes so you wont be tempted
to wear them dont l et the f act that youre dressed badl y be an excuse to not approach.
Dressi ng wel l has a posi ti ve i mpact on your i nteracti ons wi th everyone i n your l i f e.
Wi ngman/Ment or
Your dai l y approaches shoul d be done sol o f or maxi mum growth, but i t can hel p to have
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a wi ngman or accountabi l i ty buddy who wi l l check i n wi th you every day to make sure
youve done your approach. Thi s added moti vati on can gi ve you the ki ck start you need
to start f ormi ng the habi t.
Concl usi on
Does thi s mean you shoul dnt go out f or concentrated peri ods of ti me speci f i cal l y to meet
women? No!
Worki ng on your dati ng ski l l i n f ocused peri ods l i ke thi s i s great f or getti ng those ski l l s
ti ght perhaps your Attracti on phase needs tweaki ng or your comf ort phase l acks con-
necti on. Go out, hi t the streets, shoppi ng mal l s and bookstores and do a ton of ap-
proaches. The tri ck i s to combi ne thi s wi th dai l y approachi ng to bui l d and sustai n the ap-
proach habi t. Do thi s and youl l go a l ong way towards achi evi ng your rel ati onshi p goal s.
I of ten thi nk of the abi l i ty to approach as a muscl e. For every approach you make, you
grow that muscl e. For every approach you back out of , you weaken i t.
Make those approaches, bui l d your courage. The resul ts may very wel l astound you.
Good l uck!
Keychai n

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CHAPTER 7
ATTRACTI ON
CHAPTER OUTLI NE
What i s Attracti on
Attracti on i n Dayti me Dati ng
Snapshot Theory
The Attracti on Swi tches
How to Show Val ue
Si gns of Attracti on
Chapter Summary
WHAT I S ATTRACTI ON?
Once youve approached a woman and transi ti oned i nto a conversati on wi th her, Attrac-
ti on i s the next phase you shoul d concentrate on. Attracti on i s where a woman begi ns to
thi nk of you as someone she coul d potenti al l y sl eep wi th, rather than j ust as a f ri end or
a stranger.
To expl ai n how Attracti on works, we use the concept of val ue. Val ue i s what makes
somethi ng desi rabl e. Val ue f or men and women i s di ff erent. General l y speaki ng, women
are more i nterested i n men f or soci al val ue and men are more i nterested i n women f or
physi cal val ue duri ng the Attracti on phase. That i s a vi tal pi ece of knowl edge you need to
embrace i n understandi ng how to get better wi th women. So l et me repeat that: women
are more i nterested i n men f or our soci al val ue, where we are more i nterested i n women
f or thei r physi cal val ue.
The eff ects of thi s can be seen al l over the worl d i n l ots of di ff erent and common si tua-
ti ons. For exampl e, f emal e empl oyees of ten f eel some attracti on f or thei r boss, regardl ess
of how physi cal l y good l ooki ng he i s. Women are of ten attracted to cel ebri ti es, regardl ess
of how obnoxi ous they can someti mes be. Fi nal l y, i f you l ook at a mens magazi ne l i ke
askmen.com, youl l noti ce that there are l i sts of the worl ds most beauti f ul women but
that the equi val ent l i st f or men typi cal l y compri ses the worl ds most soci al l y i nf l uenti al
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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men. I n short, soci ety pri zes women f or thei r beauty, and men f or thei r soci al capabi l -
i ty. Your task then, when you f i rst meet a woman, i s to demonstrate that you have hi gh
soci al val ue.
Your soci al val ue as a man i s determi ned by a l ot of di ff erent thi ngs, but there are a f ew
thi ngs that women speci f i cal l y l ook f or ( even i f unconsci ousl y) to esti mate your soci al val -
ue when they f i rst meet you. For exampl e, your general conf i dence, your sense of humor
and how wel l you seem to get al ong wi th other peopl e around you. We cal l these thi ngs
attracti on swi tches ( al so known as Demonstrati ons of Hi gher Val ue or DHVs) , whi ch wel l
go i nto more detai l s of shortl y.
You need to show soci al val ue to a woman when you meet her by usi ng these attracti on
swi tches. I f you are f ai l i ng to attract women i n your l i f e, i t i s very l i kel y because you are
not usi ng these swi tches.
You mi ght be wonderi ng at thi s stage, exactl y what do you say to a woman or what do
you tal k about to make her i nterested i n you? I n the Conversati on Mappi ng chapter, wel l
go through the speci f i cs of how you structure a typi cal dayti me dati ng conversati on, but
f i rst of al l we need to go through the f undamental s of Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on. As you
l ear n more about these topi cs, wel l be abl e to ti e them together i nto havi ng an i ni ti al ,
attracti ve conversati on wi th a woman that potenti al l y resul ts i n a date wi th her.
ATTRACTI ON I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
Attracti on bui l di ng i n the dayti me needs to be executed wi th some adj ustments to how
you mi ght do i t i n a ni ghtcl ub or bar.
Attracti on i n the dayti me i s general l y shorter than i t woul d be at ni ght, onl y
taki ng approxi matel y 1-10 mi nutes ( i n thi s book I l l general l y ref er to a f i ve
mi nute conversati on as an approxi mati on) .
Because youve approached her i n a si tuati on where she doesnt normal l y get approached
( or at l east wi th f ar l ess f requency than she does at ni ght) , your val ue i s al ready very
hi gh and you need to do l ess work to bui l d her attracti on.
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You dont need to do much Di squal i f i cati on ( a techni que to f ei gn di si nterest or
ambi val ence towards a woman) i n the dayti me.
I f f act, di squal i f yi ng too much can actual l y hurt your chances wi th a woman you meet i n
the dayti me parti cul arl y i f you won her over i n the f i rst pl ace wi th a di rect approach. A
bi t of l i ght teasi ng can be good, but avoi d the stronger di squal i f i ers.
I ts i mportant to show some Passi on ( whether thats f or your j ob, hobbi es or any
other i nterest you have i n l i fe) when you meet a woman i n the dayti me, and i deal l y,
to fi nd common passi ons between you.
Al though Passi on i s a good val ue to show to a woman regardl ess of where you meet her,
i n the dayti me i n parti cul ar, i ts somethi ng that wi l l hel p her become attracted to you very
qui ckl y. Compare thi s wi th a ni ghtcl ub, where i t coul d be consi dered more i mportant to
be seen as a chal l enge bef ore tal ki ng about your passi ons. For thi s reason, Magi c Bul -
l ets readers wi l l note the addi ti on of a Passi on attracti on swi tch i n thi s chapter i n pl ace
of the Chal l engi ng attracti on swi tch. Thats not to say that both are not i mportant when
you meet a woman, but si mpl y to hel p you f ocus on whats most i mportant f or those f i rst
f ew mi nutes i n the dayti me.
SNAPSHOT THEORY
As you get used to usi ng the attracti on swi tches, i ts easy to get carri ed away and end up
tryi ng too hard to i mpress a woman or to reveal more about yoursel f than i s necessary.
I t can actual l y be very unattracti ve f or a woman to know everythi ng about you. Parti cu-
l arl y when you have j ust approached her i n the dayti me, she doesnt need to know al l
the detai l s of why she shoul d be i nterested i n you, j ust that you coul d be the sort of man
she coul d spend more ti me wi th. Thi s el ement of mystery i s very i ntri gui ng to a woman.
For thi s reason, i ts i mportant to gi ve her a snapshot pi cture of yoursel f by demonstrati ng
as many of the di ff erent attracti on swi tches as possi bl e, wi thout rel yi ng on any one too
much. Thi nk about presenti ng yoursel f as a wel l -rounded character i nstead of a guy who
i s j ust a f unny guy or j ust a guy who i s passi onate about musi c f or exampl e.
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When we get to the Conversati on Mappi ng chapter, youl l see how i ts i mportant not to
dwel l on any one conversati on topi c too l ong, even i f the both of you have an avi d i nter-
est i n i t. The key i s si mpl y to show her as attracti ve an overal l snapshot of yoursel f as
possi bl e.
Now l ets take a l ook at the 8 attracti on swi tches i n more detai l .
THE ATTRACTI ON SWI TCHES
1. Appearance
Al though the way a man l ooks i snt as i mportant i n determi ni ng attracti on f or a woman
as the way a woman l ooks to a man, i t certai nl y i snt goi ng to hurt your chances to make
yoursel f l ook as good as possi bl e.
We can control our appearance a l ot more than most peopl e thi nk. I ts not j ust about
your bone structure or your body shape: your styl e, your body l anguage and the way
you speak al l aff ect how attracti ve a woman percei ves you as. I f you act l i ke a conf i dent,
strong, attracti ve man, youl l f i nd women start to ref er to you as handsome a l ot more
of ten.
Bei ng out i n the dayti me i s not an excuse to dress sl oppi l y. You have no i dea when a
beauti f ul woman mi ght wal k by you i t mi ght happen when you pop out of the house f or
a f ew mi nutes to buy groceri es. So be ready and make sure you l ook decent whenever
you l eave the house.
Havi ng good styl e means conveyi ng a parti cul ar i denti ty. Are you tryi ng to convey to oth-
ers that you are an entrepreneur, a creati ve type, or a col l ege student f or exampl e? Have
i n mi nd the i mage youd l i ke to present to women and get cl othes and accessori es to
represent that as wel l as possi bl e.
Try to i ncl ude a f ew i tems i n every outf i t that are unusual , f or exampl e a whi te pai r of
shoes or a styl i sh hat. These sort of thi ngs normal l y attract attenti on f rom women and
can gi ve them good excuses to compl i ment you.
You shoul d make an eff ort to i mprove your body l anguage as much as possi bl e. Most
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guys sl ouch too much, l ook down at the ground when theyre wal ki ng and tal k too f ast
( especi al l y i f theyre nervous) . Try to exhi bi t body l anguage that ref l ects conf i dence and
bei ng comf ortabl e wi th yoursel f . The most i mportant thi ngs are to stand and wal k wi th
your shoul ders hel d back, your chest out, and your chi n up; to wal k sl owl y wi th your eyes
f ocused strai ght ahead ( not l ooki ng at the ground and not l ooki ng around too much) ; and
to si t wi th your back strai ght and your l egs comf ortabl e.
When you speak, arti cul ate what you want to say cl earl y and at a reasonabl e pace. I ts
tempti ng i f youre nervous to speed up or to add l ot of unnecessary words. Try to avoi d
doi ng thi s. Dont be af rai d to pause when you are stressi ng a poi nt or wai ti ng f or i nput
f rom the other person. As weve seen i n the Approachi ng chapter, pausi ng can be very
powerf ul .
Devel opi ng strong body l anguage and speech consi stentl y can take ti me. The easi est
way to do i t i s to i mpl ement al l the ri ght body l anguage and speech control s consci ousl y
f or a peri od of a f ew weeks or a month. Eventual l y you wi l l start to exhi bi t them uncon-
sci ousl y and be abl e to correct yoursel f when you sl i p up.
2. Conf i dence
Dayti me approachi ng i s a great way to demonstrate your conf i dence to women. Most
guys wi th a f ew dri nks i nsi de them can muster the courage to approach a woman i n a
ni ghtcl ub, but very f ew men who havent read thi s book are abl e to do so i n the gl ari ng
l i ght of day.
A conf i dent man i s one who i s wi l l i ng to take ri sks f or what he wants, i s wi l l i ng to l ead and
not j ust f ol l ow others, and i s asserti ve when he needs to be. Women correl ate conf i dence
wi th success i n l i f e ( f or good reason) , so become attracted to conf i dent men.
Your appearance i s goi ng to gi ve a woman an i ni ti al esti mate of your conf i dence, but you
shoul d al so try to get i nto conversati on topi cs that f urther demonstrate you are a con-
f i dent guy. For exampl e, have you j ust moved to a new ci ty? Do you do any parti cul arl y
chal l engi ng acti vi ti es i n your spare ti me that i ndi cate conf i dence, such as skydi vi ng or
mountai n cl i mbi ng? Are you starti ng your own busi ness? These are good thi ngs to tal k
about because they show youre an i nherentl y conf i dent person.
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Another i mportant way to show conf i dence i s si mpl y to l ead the i nteracti on. I f you prog-
ress thi ngs emoti onal l y, physi cal l y and l ogi sti cal l y wi thout wai ti ng f or suggesti ons f rom
her to do so, i tl l show her that youre conf i dent i n yoursel f . So be the one to l ead the
conversati on, be the one to ask her out and be the one to ask her to come back to your
pl ace. Dont wai t f or her to suggest or take charge of these thi ngs.
3. Humor
I n the dayti me, maki ng a woman you j ust met l augh i nstantl y rel axes the i nteracti on and
transf orms i t f rom two strangers havi ng a potenti al l y awkward conversati on to two
peopl e who j ust met havi ng f un. I t i s not absol utel y f undamental that thi s happens wi thi n
the f i rst f ew mi nutes, but i t can hel p a l ot.
Be l i ght-hearted, dont take yoursel f or the si tuati on too seri ousl y, and dont be af rai d to
have f un wi th her. As sai d earl i er, you shoul dnt engage i n heavy di squal i f i cati on, but a
l i ttl e teasi ng i s f i ne.
I f the si tuati on i s awkward ( f or exampl e, her mother tur ns up af ter you have approached
her) , a good sense of humor about the si tuati on can hel p to di ff use i t: Oh my god, I had
no i dea I d be meeti ng your mother so soon!
Humor can al so be usef ul i f you are tryi ng to progress the i nteracti on and she i s hesi tant.
For exampl e, i f she i s rel uctant to gi ve you her phone number, you can tease her wi th:
Real l y? How I am I goi ng to cal l you twenty ti mes a day then? Damn i t. I was pl anni ng to
go home, si t by my phone and spend f our hours composi ng the perf ect text message.
Now that pl an i s out of the wi ndow, I real l y dont know what I am goi ng to do wi th the
rest of my af ter noon.
4. Soci al I nt el l i gence
Soci al i ntel l i gence means havi ng an understandi ng of soci al si tuati ons and how to deal
wi th them appropri atel y. General l y speaki ng the more soci al l y i ntel l i gent someone i s, the
more f ri ends they wi l l have and the more they wi l l be abl e to get al ong wi th strangers and
new peopl e. Women know that men wi th soci al i ntel l i gence tend to be more successf ul
i n l i f e.
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Part of soci al i ntel l i gence i s knowi ng that you are goi ng to treat her respectf ul l y and treat
her wel l , and part of i t i s knowi ng that you wi l l be abl e to f uncti on wel l i n her worl d. For
exampl e, i f you demonstrate a l ack of soci al i ntel l i gence by i gnori ng her f ri ends, she wi l l
natural l y expect that you woul d make a bad i mpressi on on her f ami l y i f she was ever to
i ntroduce you to them. The l i ttl e thi ngs you do earl y on i n an i nteracti on can thus be i n-
di cators of how you wi l l be i n a rel ati onshi p wi th her.
Look f or cues i n the si tuati on to adj ust how and when you tal k to her. For exampl e, i f
shes busy, show that you understand that by keepi ng your conversati on bri ef , expl ai ni ng
that she i ntri gues you and youd l i ke to tal k more another ti me.
I f shes wi th f ri ends, make sure to pay some attenti on to them and i nvol ve them i n the
conversati on. I f you have a f ri end or wi ngman ( a f ri end who i s there to meet women wi th
you) , you can get hi m to tal k to the f ri end of the woman youre i nterested i n.
I f shes at work and youd l i ke to approach her, make sure that she i snt busy wi th cus-
tomers and that her manager i snt hoveri ng around keepi ng an eye on her.
Col d readi ng, the practi ce of maki ng i nf erences about someone based on subtl e cues
f rom them, i s another great way of showi ng soci al i ntel l i gence. A l ot of col d readi ng i s
about trui sms, but you can al so do more i nspi red warm reads when you have gotten to
know a l ot of peopl e and can i nf er character trai ts more accuratel y.
For exampl e, i f a woman l ooks shy, you coul d say, You know, you seem l i ke the ki nd of
person who can be real l y shy someti mes, but I bet when there i s somethi ng you real l y
want, you are wi l l i ng to take ri sks f or i t. Or i f a woman l ooks very styl i shl y dressed, you
coul d say, You seem l i ke the ki nd of person who takes pri de i n her appearance. I l i ke
that. Fi rst i mpressi ons are so i mportant.
You can al so use col d readi ng to transi ti on across conversati on topi cs, f or exampl e, You
carry yoursel f real l y wel l . I m guessi ng that youre a dancer or youve done some danci ng
i n the past? or You l ook l i ke youre a student. Do you study at UCLA?
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5. Passi on
Passi on i s one of the most underrated sources of attracti on f or women. Women l ove a
man who i s passi onate about thi ngs i n hi s l i f e. I t coul d be hi s work, hi s hobbi es, hi s f am-
i l y, f ri ends or somethi ng el se.
They l i ke to see dri ve i n men and they l i ke to see evi dence of that dri ve. I ts not enough
to j ust be i nterested i n somethi ng; you shoul d show that you are acti ng on that i nterest.
For exampl e, i f you say youre passi onate about musi c, do you go to a l ot of concerts or
pl ay an i nstrument yoursel f ? I f youre passi onate about your j ob, are you putti ng i n extra
hours at the off i ce and doi ng a bi t of work on the weekends?
Let women know subtl y that you are acti ng on your passi ons through the topi cs of con-
versati on you bri ng up, the emoti on you express about them, and the concrete acti ons
you are taki ng i n that area.
I deal l y, you want to see i f you can f i nd a f ew common passi ons between you and the
woman you approach. The more shes i nterested i n whatever i t i s youre passi onate
about, the greater the attracti on bui l di ng eff ect wi l l be. You can of ten rel ate di sti nct pas-
si ons by themes. For exampl e, i f shes i nto yoga, you can rel ate that to sports or marti al
arts, whi ch you may be i nterested i n.
6. Pre-sel ect i on
Pre-sel ecti on i s when you are f avored by other women al ready. A beauti f ul woman has so
many men chasi ng her that i t can be f rustrati ng to gi ve al l of them enough attenti on to
f i l ter the attracti ve ones f rom the ti me wasters. Goi ng on the recommendati ons of other
women who have a si mi l ar or hi gher l evel of soci al val ue to them, whether those recom-
mendati ons come expl i ci tl y or i mpl i ci tl y, can be a usef ul shortcut.
A woman wi l l i nf er a certai n amount of pre-sel ecti on f rom how you carry yoursel f ( f or ex-
ampl e, a good l evel of conf i dence suggests that you have at l east some experi ence wi th
women) . Shel l al so l i sten to how you tal k about your l i f e and the thi ngs you do. Do you
have f emal e f ri ends that you hang out wi th? Do you have f ri ends that come over to cook
f or you someti mes ( i f a f ri end i s comi ng over to cook f or you, shel l l i kel y i nf er that that
f ri end i s f emal e) ?
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Pre-sel ecti on doesnt have to mean that you are sl eepi ng wi th l ots of women, j ust that
other women f i nd you attracti ve. Dont try too hard to show her that youve been wi th
a l ot of women or that you have l ots of f emal e f ri ends i nterested i n you. Too much pre-
sel ecti on can backf i re ( though you can of ten bal ance i t out i f you bui l d stronger Qual i f i -
cati on) , so be caref ul .
7. St at us
Havi ng hi gh status means havi ng authori ty and power, whi ch women l i ke both f or evo-
l uti onary reasons ( men wi th these attri butes tend to have better genes) and f or soci al
reasons ( i t can l ead to a more i nteresti ng dati ng experi ence f or women) .
Status i s rel ati ve dependi ng on context. For exampl e, a uni versi ty prof essor has hi gh sta-
tus i n hi s cl assroom, but on the f ootbal l f i el d the quarterback has more status than hi m.
You can al so i ndi rectl y get status benef i ts by bei ng around or associ ated wi th peopl e of
hi gh status, whi ch i s why men i n the entourage of f amous peopl e of ten get a l ot of at-
tenti on f rom women.
Havi ng a strong soci al ci rcl e wi th peopl e around you that respect you i s a good si gn of
status. Knowi ng a l ot of peopl e i n other soci al ci rcl es can be usef ul too. A l ot of ti mes,
when I cant thi nk of a better way to rel ate to somethi ng a woman says, I wi l l end up say-
i ng, I have a f ew f ri ends that do that.
I f you have any posi ti ons of real power ( f or exampl e, you are a publ i c speaker or you are
captai n of a sports team) , l everage them by subtl y drawi ng the conversati on towards top-
i cs where your posi ti ons mi ght come up.
8. Weal t h
Weal th i s attracti ve to women f or si mi l ar evol uti onary and soci al reasons that status i s.
Most women want a man that has some degree of f i nanci al comf ort, typi cal l y one equal
to or greater than hers.
I f you have a l ot of weal th, be caref ul how you di spl ay i t. Be subtl e and onl y l et on to your
weal th sl owl y. I ts al so better f or her to see i t rather than f or you to tel l her about i t; f or
exampl e, her comi ng back to your pl ace and seei ng that i ts cl earl y an expensi ve pl ace
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i s better than tel l i ng her, I have a l uxury condo i n Beverl y Hi l l s.
I f you dont have much money, i ts not a bi g deal . Just make sure you dont l ook l i ke
youre struggl i ng. Dont bri ng up any f i nanci al worri es and dont make an i ssue of ex-
penses. Al so, demonstrate some ambi ti on and potenti al to have greater weal th l ater i n
l i f e. Men who are on thei r way up i n the worl d are very attracti ve to women.
Accumul at i ng Li f e Experi ence
For a l ong ti me when I was younger and woul d try to meet women, I woul d see them
hooki ng up wi th ol der guys and wonder why. Si nce f i ndi ng , I ve gradual l y
broken down what I was doi ng wrong and what these guys were doi ng ri ght.
One f actor that di rectl y aff ects the Attracti on val ues we are abl e to demonstrate to a
woman i s l i f e experi ence. The more we have done i n our l i ves and the more real worl d
knowl edge we have, the more attracti ve we are to women.
For exampl e, travel i ng experi ence rel ates to conf i dence ( adventurousness) ; cul tural ex-
peri ence rel ates to soci al i ntel l i gence; and busi ness experi ence rel ates to status. I f a
parti cul ar experi ence does not rel ate to any Attracti on Swi tches, then i t i s probabl y not
worth di scussi ng i n conversati on wi th a woman.
Some types of experi ence are more attracti ve to certai n women than others. Havi ng the
ski l l to mi l k a cow f or exampl e, i s probabl y not as attracti ve to most women as havi ng
the ski l l to sal sa dance unl ess of course, cow mi l ki ng i s usef ul to her or val uabl e i n her
soci ety; f or exampl e, i n a f armi ng communi ty.
Do not despai r i f you are young. At the ti me of wri ti ng thi s, I am twenty-si x years ol d. I
know guys my age or younger who have more l i f e experi ence than me, and guys that are
decades ol der wi th l ess. Al though experi ence i s roughl y proporti onal to age, what re-
al l y determi nes i t i s how you approach l i f e. Do as much as you can do, try as many new
thi ngs as you can, read, l i sten, l ear n and observe everythi ng you can or wi sh to and you
wi l l gai n more l i f e experi ence than most.
You have had a certai n amount of experi ence i n your l i f e so f ar. Search your memory f or
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cool thi ngs you have done and thi nk about how they rel ate to where you are now and
when they mi ght be rel evant i n a conversati on. For exampl e, i f you are tal ki ng to a woman
f rom Pari s, thi nk have you a) been to Pari s yoursel f bef ore, b) had a gi rl f ri end f rom Pari s,
c) had a f ri end who l i ved i n Pari s, d) read about i t and al ways wanted to go, or e) heard
good thi ngs about i t. These are al l ways to rel ate to what a woman i s sayi ng and demon-
strate some l evel of experi ence i n your l i f e ( Chapter 17 of has some great
ti ps on storytel l i ng that wi l l hel p your abi l i ty to do thi s) .
I f you are an ol der gentl eman, then you shoul d have a l ot of l i f e experi ence under your
bel t. Thi s shoul d gi ve you a l ot to tal k about but remember, make sure i t al l rel ates back
to the Attracti on val ues. I f you havent got a l ot of l i f e experi ence behi nd you, you need
to ask yoursel f the honest questi on, Shoul d I be doi ng more? I wi l l tel l you now that i t
i s never too l ate. I ve seen ol der guys do amazi ng thi ngs af ter theyve real i zed how they
trul y want to l i ve thei r l i ves f rom meeti ng young, beauti f ul women i n the dayti me to
travel l i ng the worl d i n search of cul tural and personal i nspi rati on.
A great exampl e of someone wi th a massi ve amount of accumul ated l i f e experi ence i s
my good f ri end . He has worked i n the i nvestment banki ng, SEO, green energy
and corporate technol ogy i ndustri es; he travel l ed through Europe as a teenager, toured
the USA as a f amous rock star and has vi si ted many countri es to teach
. Al l of these thi ngs al l ow hi m to rel ate to and demonstrate val ue to a di verse
range of women.
A great book to read i f you f eel l i ke you havent done enough i n your l i f e i s Yes Man by
Danny Wal l ace. The hero of the story real i zes one day how bori ng hi s l i f e i s and deci des
to say Yes to every opportuni ty that presents i tsel f to hi m f or a year. I ts an i nspi rati onal
story and I thi nk we can al l l ear n f rom i t.
HOW TO SHOW YOUR VALUE
So now you understand the mai n sources of val ue that can generate Attracti on, l ets l ook
i n more detai l at the f our maj or ways you can demonstrate your val ue to a woman.
Li ve demonstrati ons are when a woman sees your val ue f i rst-hand. I t coul d be that she
sees you maki ng conversati on wi th other strangers ( demonstrati on of Soci al I ntel l i gence) ,
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that you ask her to have a cup of coff ee wi th you ( demonstrati on of Conf i dence) or that
she comes back to your pl ace and sees one of your gol f i ng trophi es ( demonstrati on of
Passi on) .
Showi ng a woman a l i ve demonstrati on i s the most powerf ul way demonstrati ng val ue.
I magi ne the ri chest man i n the worl d tel l i ng you he i s the ri chest man i n the worl d. You
woul d be more i mpressed i f you coul d see some f i rst-hand evi dence of hi s weal th; f or
exampl e, a mansi on or a pri vate i sl and.
Authori ty demonstrati ons are when a woman sees that you understand a topi c and have
experi ence wi thi n i t, wi thout you di rectl y tel l i ng her why. I n other words, you show that
you have knowl edge on a topi c, but you dont menti on the detai l s of how you came to
acqui re that knowl edge.
For exampl e, i f you vi si ted Japan f or a f ew months to trai n i n Kendo ( Japanese sword
f i ghti ng) , you coul d show a bi t of val ue by tel l i ng a woman, I went to Japan l ast year f or
three months and trai ned i n the art of Kendo wi th some of the top samurai i n the country.
Thi s i s anecdotal evi dence, as wel l come onto bel ow.
But i f you omi t the anecdotal detai l s and i nstead show authori ty of the subj ect of Japan
or Kendo, then i t wi l l show even more val ue. For exampl e, i f youre i n a Japanese restau-
rant, you coul d say, I l ove watchi ng Japanese chef s make sushi . The Japanese have an
attenti on to detai l and a work ethi c unparal l ed by most other cul tures i n the worl d. I ts
j ust l i ke how they practi ce Kendo. Even though i t can be a vi ol ent sport, theres a beauty
and a grace i n how the two opponents move i n rel ati on to each other.
Thi s i snt about tryi ng to one-up someone wi th knowl edge. When you do an authori ta-
ti ve demonstrati on of your val ue, show that you understand the area the other person i s
tal ki ng about and off er val ue to the conversati on by shari ng i nteresti ng or usef ul i nf orma-
ti on on i t.
When you are showi ng a woman your val ue, authori tati ve demonstrati ons are the most
powerf ul method you have af ter l i ve demonstrati ons.
Anecdotal demonstrati ons are when you tel l a woman a story or somethi ng about your-
sel f that di rectl y i mpl i cates your val ue. The obvi ous way to do thi s i s i n the f orm of si mpl e
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i denti ty or achi evement statements, f or exampl e, I m a musi ci an, or I go rock cl i mbi ng
at the weekends. The more subtl e and more powerf ul way to do i t i s to embed i t i n the
context of somethi ng el se, f or exampl e, Rome i s real l y i nteresti ng, I was on tour there
l ast year, or Can you grab that f or me? I hurt my arm when I was cl i mbi ng l ast week-
end.
Thi rd-party demonstrati ons come f rom other peopl e tel l i ng the woman about your val -
ue, f or exampl e, a f ri end of yours or a stranger menti ons to her that you are a musi ci an or
that you are a nati onal rock-cl i mbi ng champi on. Thi s i s an enormousl y powerf ul source of
evi dence because i t comes f rom a source l ess bi ased than you but of tenti mes i s out
of your control . The maj or thi ng you can do to f aci l i tate thi rd party evi dence f or your val ue
i s bri ng the women you meet i nto your soci al ci rcl e or to a venue where you have good
rel ati onshi ps wi th peopl e there. They wi l l tal k posi ti vel y about you and that wi l l make the
woman more attracted to you.
Lets l ook at some exampl es of statements you coul d make that woul d show val ue.
Have a thi nk about what ki nds of val ue you thi nk they show.
The f ood i n Rome i s i ncredi bl e; I tal i an f ood ever ywhere el se doesnt taste qui te
as good as i t does there.
Most peopl e are af rai d of taki ng ri sks f or the thi ngs they want i n l i f e. When I
approached you, I had no i dea what you were goi ng to say or be l i ke, but I d
rather f i nd out than not. I ts the same wi th starti ng a new busi ness.
I think its important to be open-minded in life. I know that in the music world, if you
shut yourself off to new musical perspectives, you end up producing the same tune
over and over again. But by being experimental and looking at other perspectives, you
gain new inspiration. Its the same with meeting new people.
Now l ets have a l ook at how attracti on statements can be worked i nto an i ni ti al
conversati on.
John: Excuse me, I j ust saw you wal ki ng towards me and I had to tel l you that
you l ook i ncredi bl e. Thi s outf i t i s so el egant and the way you wal k i s so gracef ul .
Sarah: Thank you!
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John: Whats your name?
Sarah: Sarah.
John: I m John, pl eased to meet you, Sarah. So what are you doi ng today?
Sarah: Oh I m j ust goi ng to meet some f ri ends f or l unch.
John: Thats cool . I was actual l y j ust goi ng to meet some f ri ends when I saw you
wal ki ng past. They are goi ng to be annoyed wi th me f or bei ng l ate by tal ki ng to
you, but I know I woul d be more annoyed i f I l et you wal k past wi thout sayi ng
hel l o. So tel l me Sarah, what do you do f or a l i vi ng?
Sarah: I m an accountant.
John: Yes, I thought so. You have a ver y cal cul ated way of wal ki ng. I di dnt know
accountants were al l owed to be thi s attracti ve. I f i gured you had to be a geeky
dude wi th gl asses. The guys i n the of f i ce must go nuts over you. What made you
get i nto accounti ng?
Sarah: Wel l , the pay i s good and the work i snt too hard. I ts a pretty good deal
overal l .
John: I can understand that. A l ot of my f ri ends i n the ci ty went i nto the
f i el d. I thought about i t f or a whi l e, but I f ound numbers werent my thi ng. I l i ke
busi ness, but I wanted to throw some creati vi ty i nto i t, so I ended up goi ng i nto
marketi ng.
Noti ce how John i s maki ng statements af ter every answer i nstead of f i ri ng a questi on
strai ght back. I n these statements he demonstrates some ki nd of val ue, whether i ts hu-
mor, conf i dence, passi on, status etc. and then asks another questi on to al l ow Sarah to
open up f urther.
SI GNS OF ATTRACTI ON
As you bui l d attracti on wi th a woman youre tal ki ng to, you want to be abl e to read
whether she i s getti ng attracted to you or not. The more attracted she i s to you, the more
l i kel y you can engage i n f urther Emoti onal , Physi cal and Logi sti cal Progressi on.
I n the context of a short dayti me approach and conversati on, the mai n thi ngs you are
l ooki ng to do i s Emoti onal l y Progress i nto Qual i f i cati on, and Logi sti cal l y Progress i nto
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securi ng and organi zi ng a date wi th her. The more si gns of attracti on you see as you
converse wi th her, the more l i kel y youl l be abl e to proceed i nto these stages.
Di ff erent women do di ff erent thi ngs when they are attracted to a man, but the bel ow l i st
shows some of the more common si gns of attracti on you shoul d l ook out f or i n the day-
ti me:
She rei ni ti ates conversati on when you stop tal ki ng.
She gi ggl es.
She pl ays wi th / tosses her hai r.
She asks you f or your name or any other personal questi ons ( e.g., age, where
you l i ve) .
She compl i ments you on anythi ng.
She i s l aughi ng, smi l i ng, and/or hol di ng eye contact wi th you.
Both her f eet are poi nti ng towards you. I f you stopped her on the street, both
feet poi nti ng towards you general l y i ndi cate she i s engaged i n what youre sayi ng
and not thi nki ng about l eavi ng.
She doesnt make excuses to l eave. Thi s i s especi al l y rel evant f or a woman you
stop on the street as shes wal ki ng. I f she doesnt make an excuse to go wi thi n
a mi nute or two, she i s most l i kel y attracted.
However, dont get too hung up on wai ti ng f or al l or even some of these si gnal s bef ore
tryi ng to progress the i nteracti on. For one, i ts a mans responsi bi l i ty to progress roman-
ti c and sexual i nteracti ons, and a womans responsi bi l i ty to exert a choi ce whether she
wants to go al ong wi th i t or not.
Too many guys wai t f or some ki nd of a green l i ght f rom a woman bef ore they ask her
out, try to ki ss her, or otherwi se try to move the i nteracti on f orward. At hi gher stages of
dati ng ski l l , thi s does i ndeed demonstrate hi gh soci al i ntel l i gence. However, wi thout a l ot
of practi cal experi ence of recogni zi ng and acti ng on the above si gnal s, most men tend to
pl ay i t saf e and end up not progressi ng thi ngs wi th women, when those women actual l y
wanted them to but perhaps werent as conf i dent i n expressi ng to the man that they
wanted to go f urther.
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So as you are practi ci ng your dati ng ski l l , dont l ook f or a green l i ght as much as you l ook
f or the absence of a red l i ght. The ul ti mate l i tmus test of Attracti on i s tryi ng to progress
the i nteracti on and seei ng whether she goes al ong wi th i t.
For two, no si gn i s def i ni ti ve. A woman can do some of the thi ngs on thi s l i st wi thout
bei ng attracted to you, or she can engage i n none of them and sti l l be attracted. These
are gui des, not l aws of physi cs. I t i s easy to get addi cted to si gns of attracti on. They f eel
good, and i f youre not used to them, they f eel l i ke l i ttl e wi ns ( Thi s beauti f ul woman i s
actual l y attracted to me! ) . However, i nduci ng too many of these si gns wi thout movi ng
on to Qual i f i cati on i s counterproducti ve, and gets bori ng f or women. The end goal of a
sexual rel ati onshi p i s more exci ti ng than these si gns anyway.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Attracti on i s based on showi ng women that you have hi gh soci al val ue.
I n the dayti me, your Attracti on phase wi l l l i kel y be shorter than i t i s at ni ght, you
dont need to do as much Di squal i f i cati on, and you shoul d f ocus more on
demonstrati ng Passi on than bei ng Chal l engi ng.
You shoul d focus on demonstrati ng an attracti ve snapshot of yoursel f wi thi n the
i ni ti al f i ve-mi nute conversati on usi ng the di ff erent attracti on swi tches.
The 8 di fferent attracti on swi tches you can use to bui l d soci al val ue are Appearance,
Conf i dence, Humor, Soci al I ntel l gence, Passi on, Pre-sel ecti on, Status and Weal th.
You can leverage these attraction switches by using live demonstrations, authority
demonstrations, anecdotal demonstrati ons, or thi rd-party demonstrati ons. I n i ni ti al
dayti me conversati ons, you wi l l tend to use authori ty and anecdotal demonstrati ons
the most.
Good si gns that you are bui l di ng Attracti on wi th a woman are when she engages
i n the conversati on, she gi ggl es or l aughs, she touches hersel f ( e.g. her hai r or
her arm) whi l e she tal ks to you, both f eet are poi nti ng towards you, and she
doesnt make excuses to go.
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CHAPTER 8
QUALI FI CATI ON
CHAPTER CONTENTS
What i s Qual i f i cati on?
Qual i f i cati on i n Dayti me Dati ng
Screeni ng
Compl i ments
Chapter Summary
WHAT I S QUALI FI CATI ON?
Once a woman has become attracted to you, she wants to know that youre attracted to
her f or reasons other than j ust physi cal ones. We cal l thi s process Qual i f i cati on.
I ts sti l l a good i dea to express physi cal i nterest i n a woman ( and as weve seen i n
, i t can a great way to start a conversati on i n the dayti me) , but thi s needs
to be combi ned wi th compl i ments on her personal i ty and achi evements as wel l .
Qual i f i cati on consi sts of screeni ng and rewardi ng. Screeni ng i s where you assess wheth-
er a woman meets your standards and rewardi ng i s where you show her that she meets
your standards ( i f i ndeed, she does) mostl y by compl i menti ng her.
Qual i fi cati on i s i mportant because:
Hi gh qual i ty men have hi gh standards for women i n thei r l i fe. By showi ng a woman
that she meets speci f i c standards you have set, she wi l l be more attracted to you.
Showi ng women your appreci ati on f or who they are makes them more i ncl i ned to
spend ti me wi th you. She may be attracted to you, but i f she f eel s l i ke shes j ust
goi ng to be another notch on your bedpost, she i s l ess l i kel y to act on i t because
there coul d be negati ve bi ol ogi cal or soci al consequences f or her; f or exampl e,
getti ng pregnant or havi ng other peopl e thi nk of her as a sl ut.
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I f you dont qual i f y a woman af ter bui l di ng Attracti on wi th her, i t wi l l be hard to progress
the i nteracti on physi cal l y and l ogi sti cal l y. You can sl eep wi th some women wi thout much
qual i f i cati on, parti cul arl y younger gi rl s or gi rl s that party a l ot. But i n most cases, wi thout
expressi ng anythi ng other than physi cal i nterest i n a woman, you wi l l struggl e to get her
to come home wi th you.
You shoul d begi n Qual i f i cati on once a woman i s attracted to you ( see f or more
detai l s on how to recogni ze when thi s i s) . Once a woman knows that you are attracted
to her, the Qual i f i cati on phase i s compl ete. However, bear i n mi nd that you wi l l need to
mai ntai n Qual i f i cati on l evel s when you are i n Comf ort ( see Love Systems Tri ad) .
QUALI FI CATI ON I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
There are two maj or di ff erences i n Qual i f i cati on f or dayti me dati ng compared wi th meet-
i ng women i n ni ghtti me venues.
Qual i f i cati on of ten happens a l ot sooner i n the dayti me than i t does i n bars and
ni ghtcl ubs.
Because Attracti on tends to be bui l t i n the dayti me a l ot qui cker than i t i s i n bars and
ni ghtcl ubs, you can move i nto the Qual i f i cati on phase sooner. As you become more ex-
peri enced wi th bui l di ng Attracti on, you may f i nd that you move i nto Qual i f i cati on very
qui ckl y someti mes you can even do so i mmedi atel y af ter Approachi ng i f you f eel that
the woman i s al ready attracted to you.
Qual i f i cati on of ten runs a l ot deeper i n the dayti me than i t does i n bars and
ni ghtcl ubs.
Women i n bars and cl ubs tend to be dri nki ng, di stracted by thei r f ri ends and have mul -
ti pl e guys competi ng f or thei r attenti on. These i ssues are mostl y absent i n the dayti me,
so you can get i nto real and di rect conversati ons wi th women much more easi l y. Thi s
al l ows you to di scover a l ot of genui ne thi ngs you l i ke about a woman beyond her l ooks.
Of course, i t al so runs the other way: i f a woman i snt i nteresti ng beyond her l ooks, i t wi l l
become apparent to you very qui ckl y.
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SCREENI NG
I n order to f i nd out i f a woman meets your standards, you need to deci de what those
standards are i n the f i rst pl ace. What ki nd of women do you want i n your l i f e? Do you l i ke
women who are adventurous, ambi ti ous, soci abl e or f ei sty f or exampl e?
Wri te down a l i st of f i ve thi ngs that are i mportant to you i n a womans personal i ty. Then,
next to each one, wri te down a f ew exampl es of what a woman mi ght have goi ng on i n
her l i f e that woul d ref l ect that qual i ty. For exampl e, I real l y l i ke a woman to be very open-
mi nded, whi ch coul d be ref l ected by her travel i ng a l ot, havi ng a real l y vari ed taste i n
musi c, or bei ng wi l l i ng to try new thi ngs regul arl y.
Screen women you meet by i ntroduci ng these speci f i c topi cs i nto the conversati on. Do
so gentl y; you dont want to sound l i ke you are i ntervi ewi ng her, rather that you are po-
l i tel y f eel i ng her out to see whether she matches what youre l ooki ng f or i n a woman.
Topi cs that typi cal l y al l ow you fi nd out a l ot about a womans personal i ty i ncl ude:
Career
Educati on
Travel
Hobbi es
Musi c and movi es
Fi tness and sporti ng acti vi ti es
Soci al acti vi ti es
Lets say I deci ded that I wanted a woman who was very soci abl e and had a l ot of f ri ends.
I coul d screen f or that by f i ndi ng out about her soci al acti vi ti es:
Jeremy: So tel l me, do you go out a l ot?
Jul i a: Hmmm yeah! Qui te a bi t.
Jeremy: Ah, so youre a party gi rl . I l i ke that. What sort of pl aces do you normal l y
go to?
Jul i a: Wel l , I m not real l y i nto cl ubbi ng. I used to go to ni ghtcl ubs al l the ti me,
but I pref er goi ng to l ounge bars these days.
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Jeremy: I m the same. I enj oy good conversati on wi th good peopl e. You can do
that i n a l ounge bar, but tr y doi ng i t i n a ni ghtcl ub and you end up wi th a hoarse
voi ce the next day. You know, you have a ki nd of dangerous l ook i n your eyes
are you the ki nd of gi rl who tri es to get al l your f ri ends drunk??
Jul i a: Oh no! Not me. I m ver y wel l behaved.
Jeremy: Yes. Ei ther that, or youre ver y good at pretendi ng that you are [ sai d
wi th a smi l e so she knows I m teasi ng] .
Noti ce that I start wi th a very general screeni ng questi on and then get more speci f i c as I
get more posi ti ve i nput f rom the woman. Al so, I m usi ng statements i n between questi ons
to keep Attracti on l evel s up and to ensure she doesnt f eel l i ke shes bei ng i ntervi ewed.
Some fi nal notes on screeni ng:
Screen f or thi ngs that you genui nel y want i n a woman. Dayti me dati ng gi ves you
a chance to have honest conversati ons wi th women real l y easi l y. Take advantage
of that by havi ng a seri ous thi nk about the ki nd of women you l i ke and f i guri ng
out what sort of questi ons you coul d ask to f i nd them.
I ts real l y i mportant to rel ate back to her answers wi th your own opi ni ons and
experi ences i n between aski ng her questi ons. Most guys ask women way too
many questi ons earl y on wi thout contri buti ng any materi al to the conversati on
themsel ves dont be one of those guys!
Screeni ng i s one of the most usef ul tool s you have i f you f i nd yoursel f runni ng
out of thi ngs to say when you are tal ki ng to a woman: i f you l ead the conversati on
onto a topi c that i nterests you, you wi l l probabl y have a l ot you can say on i t.
What I f She Doesn t Meet Your St andards?
I f you screen a woman on somethi ng and she doesnt match up to what you want, dont
gi ve up strai ght away. Change the topi c and see whether she meets any of your other
standards. No one i s goi ng to match up 100% to everythi ng you want, so be wi l l i ng to
have some f l exi bi l i ty ( besi des, what you thi nk you want wont necessari l y be what you
end up enj oyi ng the most) .
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However, i ts worth havi ng some threshol d mi ni mum cri teri a that women absol utel y need
to meet. For exampl e, my deal breakers are:
She does nothi ng i nteresti ng i n her spare ti me beyond partyi ng
She doesnt travel and expresses no i nterest i n doi ng so
She di srespects my f ri ends
I f a woman doesnt meet your mi ni mum standards, pol i tel y excuse yoursel f and wal k
away. There are many, many more women out there to approach that j ust mi ght have
what youre l ooki ng f or.
COMPLI MENTS
The mai n way to reward women f or meeti ng your standards i s to compl i ment them. You
shoul d weave a f ew l i ght but si ncere compl i ments i nto the conversati on earl y on, as soon
as a woman starts respondi ng posi ti vel y to your screeni ng topi cs.
Here are some exampl es:
Youre actual l y real l y cool to tal k to.
I thi nk thats real l y attracti ve i n a woman.
I l i ke that you carry yoursel f so wel l .
I thi nk i ts great youre so ambi ti ous.
You seem l i ke a real l y open-mi nded person. I l i ke that.
Compl i ments shoul dnt be overused. I f you compl i ment a woman too of ten, she wont
f eel l i ke shes ear ned them. Space them out wi th pl enty of conversati on i n between. Al so,
dont al ways del i ver compl i ments strai ght af ter seei ng a qual i ty you l i ke; someti mes i ts
good to wai t unti l l ater to tel l her. The sl i ght unpredi ctabi l i ty means shel l be more exci ted
about you prai si ng her when you do.
As you get to know a woman better, you can compl i ment her more deepl y. To do thi s, be
more speci f i c wi th your compl i ment. For exampl e, I l i ke how conf i dent you are i s a l i ght
compl i ment. Af ter spendi ng more ti me wi th her, you coul d say, I l i ke how conf i dent you
are. You take ri sks wi th thi ngs where other peopl e woul d be too af rai d. I ts real l y rare to
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f i nd someone wi th that ki nd of bol d atti tude to l i f e.
Af ter you del i ver a compl i ment to a woman, dont l et i t l i nger or wai t f or a response. You
dont want there to be a pause as i f you expect her to suddenl y express her undyi ng
grati tude f or what you j ust sai d. Throw the compl i ment out and then move strai ght onto
the next topi c of conversati on.
Here are some other gui del i nes for compl i ments:
Compl i ments shoul d be genui ne. Dont pretend l i ke you l ove everythi ng about the
woman you j ust met. I nstead, l ook f or her posi ti ve qual i ti es and reward her f or
those.
Try to compl i ment her on thi ngs that arent i mmedi atel y obvi ous. The l ess of ten
she hears i t f rom peopl e, the more powerf ul i t wi l l be.
Physi cal compl i ments are ok so l ong as they are used i n moderati on and you
dont dwel l on them. Theyre much better i f they i nvol ve some el ement she has
control over, f or exampl e her hai r, the way she carri es hersel f or her styl e ( as
opposed to her eye col our or her ski n tone) .
You shoul d ai m to gi ve a woman a f ew compl i ments ( around two or three) wi thi n the
i ni ti al conversati on you have wi th her when you meet her. By gi vi ng her expl i ci t compl i -
ments on her personal i ty ( and not j ust her physi cal sel f ) , youre emphasi zi ng to her that
the two of you are a good match. I t al so communi cates that you di dnt j ust stop her to
be f ri endl y, but you actual l y have some romanti c i nterest i n her. That way, i f she stays i n
the conversati on, she i s gi vi ng her i mpl i ci t consent f or you to pi ck her up and theref ore
shes much more l i abl e to agree to a date when you ask her out at the end of the conver-
sati on ( whi ch wel l cover i n ) .
Lets look at an example of doing some screening and then weaving a compliment into the
conversation.
Jeremy: You gi ve of f a creati ve vi be. Tel l me, do you do somethi ng creati ve f or a
l i vi ng or i n your spare ti me?
Jul i a: Wel l I work i n adverti si ng, but I do pai nti ng i n my spare ti me.
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Jeremy: Thats great. I m pretty anal yti cal mysel f , so I f i nd I m al ways drawn to
peopl e more on the creati ve si de. Thi nki ng about i t, when I f i rst saw, I f i gured
youd be that sort of person. The way youre dressed and the way you wal ked
was so expressi ve I guess your energy spi l l s over i nto your body l anguage. I
f i nd that attracti ve.
Jul i a: Thanks [ bl ushes] .
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Qual i f i cati on means appreci ati ng a woman f or her non-physi cal qual i ti es, i .e. her
personal i ty.
Its i mportant to bui l d Qual i fi cati on so that a woman feel s more comfortabl e taki ng
an i nteracti on f urther wi th you. I f you dont make her f eel appreci ated, she wont
f eel comf ortabl e goi ng to bed wi th you.
Qual i f i cati on i s based on screeni ng f or the personal i ty characteri sti cs you l i ke,
and then gi vi ng her compl i ments based on those.
I f she doesnt meet your standards, you shoul d wal k away or otherwi se end the
conversati on pol i tel y.
You shoul d ai m to throw a f ew compl i ments i nto your i ni ti al f i ve-mi nute
conversati on wi th her so that she gets the sense that you are romanti cal l y
i nterested i n her, and not j ust chatti ng to be soci al . Thi s makes her more l i kel y to
agree to go out wi th you when you do ask her out.

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CHAPTER 9
CONVERSATI ON MAPPI NG
CHAPTER OUTLI NE
What i s Conversati on Mappi ng?
Context, Work & Lei sure
Mastery Topi cs
Bri dgi ng
Dead Ends
I nvestment Equi l i bri um
Chapter Summary
WHAT I S CONVERSATI ON MAPPI NG?
Now that you understand how Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on work, l ets take a l ook at how
to put al l of thi s i nto a f i ve-mi nute conversati on. To do thi s, you can use a techni que I
desi gned cal l ed Conversati on Mappi ng, whi ch appl i es a si mpl e but powerf ul structure
that al l ows you to bui l d Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on very qui ckl y and eff i ci entl y.
You can actual l y use Conversati on Mappi ng f or any si tuati on where you mi ght meet a
woman, though there wi l l probabl y be some adj ustments dependi ng on the si tuati on. As
an exampl e of an adj ustment that mi ght be made f or a di ff erent si tuati on, wel l see that
work i s one of the f i el ds of the Conversati on Map. However, i n a ni ghtcl ub, work i snt
necessari l y a good topi c to bri ng up earl y on ( i nstead i ts of ten better to stay on more f un
or humorous topi cs and possi bl y get i nto work l ater) .
The beauty of Conversati on Mappi ng i s that i t gi ves you a gui de to tal k a perf ect stranger
and have a good shot at establ i shi ng a connecti on wi th them wi thi n j ust a f ew mi nutes.
Many of my cl i ents have sai d to me, I j ust dont know what to say when I f i rst meet a
woman! Thi s techni que gi ves you a game pl an f or j ust that.
In a way, i ts al most l i ke a game of chess when you fi rst meet a woman. You cant j ust move a
pi ece wi thout thi nki ng: you have to be wonderi ng what the possi bl e consequences of movi ng
that pi ece coul d be. In other words, you have to be thi nki ng several steps ahead.
I ts the same i n Conversati on Mappi ng. When you ask a questi on about what shes up
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to or her work or somethi ng el se, youre not j ust aski ng the questi on i dl y ( whi ch i s what
most guys do si mpl y to prol ong the i nteracti on and keep her there) . No. You have a
speci f i c pl an wi th speci f i c conversati onal routes you are tryi ng to go down.
Have a qui ck l ook over the f ol l owi ng di agram to get an overvi ew of Conversati on Map-
pi ng, and then wel l go through each aspect of i t i n detai l .


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CONTEXT, WORK & LEI SURE
Through many thousands of approaches, I real i zed that there were three f i el ds of con-
versati on that I normal l y went through when I met a woman: context, work and l ei sure.
Context i s about di scussi ng the current si tuati on you meet her i n. I n the dayti me, i t nor-
mal l y starts wi th you seei ng her wal ki ng past, si tti ng down, or standi ng somewhere and
wanti ng to come tal k to her ( as you expl ai n when you approach her) . Af ter the approach,
theres sti l l a bi t more context to establ i sh. For exampl e, what i s she doi ng when you
meet her? I s she on her way somewhere, i s she studyi ng i n a caf , or i s she a touri st i n
town wanderi ng around tryi ng to f i nd thi ngs to do?
Context wi l l someti mes al l ow you to get onto i nteresti ng thi ngs. For exampl e, maybe
shes an aspi ri ng actress and on her way to a casti ng whi ch shes exci ted about. On the
other hand, i t coul d be somethi ng more mundane, l i ke shes out shoppi ng f or groceri es.
Whether or not you manage to l and on somethi ng i nteresti ng ( and by i nteresti ng, I mean
i nteresti ng to the both of you) , establ i shi ng the context i s a good way of breaki ng the
soci al i ce and easi ng her i nto a more comf ortabl e conversati on.
Context can al so i nvol ve where shes f rom or youre f rom, especi al l y i f i ts cl ear that shes
rel ati vel y new to town or onl y travel l i ng through ( or i ndeed, you are) . I ts a l ess i nterest-
i ng topi c i f i ts cl ear youre both f rom that pl ace and have l i ved there a l ong ti me. ( Thi s
ref l ects a general conversati onal pri nci pl e whereby thi ngs that are newer to us are more
emoti onal l y rel evant and of ten more i nteresti ng to tal k about.)
A typi cal context questi on i s somethi ng l i ke, So what are you doi ng today? As wel l see
shortl y, aski ng that questi on i tsel f doesnt real l y generate any Attracti on, but al l ows you
to gui de the conversati on towards thi ngs that coul d be potenti al l y i nteresti ng. As a rul e-
of -thumb, never ask a questi on wi thout knowi ng where youre goi ng wi th i t. Wi thi n the
f i rst f ew mi nutes, you shoul d al ways be pl anni ng to reach speci f i c topi cs where you have
i nteresti ng or f unny thi ngs to say. At the very l east, know your answer to every questi on
you ask her. For exampl e, i n the case of context, be prepared to tel l her what youre up
to today ( and make sure i t shows some soci al val ue) i f youre aski ng her the same.
Once youve establ i shed some context and broken the i ce a l i ttl e, the second f i el d i s
work. Some peopl e wonder i f work i s a good topi c to bri ng up. I t may be, i t may not be,
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dependi ng on whether you each enj oy your j obs. Regardl ess, i t certai nl y f orms most of
our dai l y l i ves as human bei ngs, so by f i ndi ng out about work we can f i nd out a l ot about
each other. So you can ask her what she does f or a l i vi ng, perhaps goi ng on to say what
you do f or a l i vi ng.
The key i s not so much about f i ndi ng out random f acts about her, but rather f i ndi ng out
how your l i ves rel ate to each other, and how you can demonstrate soci al val ue to thi s
parti cul ar woman based on the aspects of her l i f e. Wel l cover thi s shortl y when we tal k
about Mastery Topi cs, but as an exampl e, i f you f i nd out that shes trai ni ng to be a l awyer,
and youre al ready a l awyer wi th a presti gi ous l aw f i rm, then suddenl y you have a good
opportuni ty to bui l d soci al val ue and thus attracti on.
You may not get these opportuni ti es i n the work f i el d of conversati on, so the thi rd and
f i nal f i el d i s l ei sure: what you both do i n your spare ti me f or f un. Aski ng a woman, What
do you do f or f un? of ten l eaves her a bi t unsure what to say, so try to l ead her down
possi bl e routes by aski ng i f shes i nterested i n speci f i c thi ngs. For exampl e, f rom What
do you do f or f un? you coul d add, I mean, are you a party ani mal , do you l i ke to go out
a l ot, or are you more the stay-at-home-and-read type? You coul d even try somethi ng
as si mpl e as, Are you i nto travel l i ng, sports musi c?
I n general , i ts i mportant to cover al l three f i el ds ( context, work and l ei sure) i n your i ni ti al
conversati on. Moreover, that speci f i c order wi l l hel p the f l ow of conversati on because
each f i el d i s progressi vel y more i nti mate. I f you were to start wi th the l ei sure questi on,
you mi ght f i nd that a woman doesnt open up easi l y. But i f youve gone through context
and work, and hopef ul l y bui l t some Attracti on wi thi n those f i el ds, then youl l be abl e to
move onto l ei sure much more easi l y.
Remember, as di scussed i n the Attracti on chapter when we tal ked about Snapshot The-
ory, you dont want to f ocus on any one topi c or attracti on swi tch as your sol e source
of soci al val ue, but cover a wi de range of topi cs. Goi ng through these three f i el ds hel ps
f aci l i tate that.
And j ust to rei terate, remember that aski ng about context, work or l ei sure i snt by i tsel f
attracti ve, but rather i t gi ves you a roadmap to get onto thi ngs that are more i nteresti ng.
Everyone i s i nterested i n tal ki ng about di ff erent thi ngs. Some peopl e l ove thei r j ob, some
peopl e l ove sports, some peopl e l ove travel l i ng. Aski ng about context, work and l ei sure
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are si mpl y avenues that wi l l hel p you di scover who she i s, what she enj oys and what you
can show soci al val ue on.
Jeremy: So what are you doi ng today?
Jessi ca: I m goi ng shoppi ng.
Jeremy: Cool . I ts a great day to be out and about. I m tr yi ng to work of f a huge
hangover f rom l ast ni ght, so i ts ni ce to be out i n the sun! Tel l me, what do you
do f or a l i vi ng? Hmmm I m guessi ng you do somethi ng creati ve f rom the way
youre dressed?
Jessi ca: Wel l , yes, sort of . I work i n adverti si ng.
Jeremy: Oh, ni ce. I have a background i n adverti si ng mysel f
[ Jeremy then bui l ds Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on, usi ng the adverti si ng topi c be
cause he knows a l ot about i t. A f ew mi nutes l ater, he moves i nto the next f i el d
of conversati on, l ei sure.]
Jeremy: I thi nk i ts great that you have such a cool j ob, but tel l me, what do you
do when youre not worki ng? Are you a party ani mal , or more the stay-at-home-
and-read type f or exampl e?
Jessi ca: Haha, yeah, I l i ke to party.!
MASTERY TOPI CS
There are certai n topi cs of conversati on that as an i ndi vi dual you wi l l f eel very comf ort-
abl e wi th. Possi bl y because you are passi onate about that topi c, you have a l ot of ex-
peri ence i n i t, you have achi eved a l ot i n that area or because you are ambi ti ous about
getti ng more i nto i t. These topi cs are your Mastery Topi cs, and can be used to bui l d At-
tracti on and Qual i f i cati on.
Some si mpl e exampl es of Mastery Topi cs coul d be sports, the ni ghtcl ub scene, travel -
l i ng, adverti si ng, or technol ogy.
I mportantl y, a Mastery Topi c shoul d i nvol ve as many attracti on swi tches as possi bl e. For
exampl e, i f youre good wi th computers, i t doesnt necessari l y mean that tal ki ng about
why a certai n type of programmi ng l anguage i s better than another i s a good i dea. ( Al -
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though i f she happens to be i nterested i n that, i t mi ght actual l y hel p; but i td be rare to
f i nd a woman who i s.) However, usi ng technol ogy as your Mastery Topi c, and tal ki ng
about how f ast the worl d i s evol vi ng technol ogi cal l y and the i mpact i ts havi ng on our
l i ves demonstrates Soci al I ntel l i gence, Passi on and possi bl y even Status i f you are good
i n your f i el d.
Tal ki ng about a Mastery Topi c i s l i ke pl ayi ng on home rather than away ground i n sports:
you know the arena, you know the vari abl es, you have the advantage. The i ni ti al conver-
sati on you have wi th a woman i n the f i rst f ew mi nutes i s so i mportant that you shoul d try
to stay on home terri tory as much as possi bl e, so you can demonstrate your soci al val ue.
I magi ne f or exampl e, that you meet a woman and get i nto a conversati on about some-
thi ng you know nothi ng about, l i ke art. I f she i s knowl edgeabl e about art and youre not,
that topi c i s not goi ng to al l ow you to show soci al val ue and theref ore you probabl y wont
bui l d any Attracti on ( whi ch you need to do as soon as possi bl e) by stayi ng on that topi c.
On the other hand, i f she tel l s you her f avouri te art gal l ery i s i n France, and Europe i s one
of your Mastery Topi cs ( because you spent a summer travel l i ng there) , then i f you l ead
the conversati on towards a di scussi on of Europe rather than art, youre on much better
ground.
Mastery Topi cs are al so onl y usef ul i nsof ar as a woman i s or coul d be i nterested i n them.
To conti nue the exampl e, i f Europe i s one of your Mastery Topi cs, but she has never been
to Europe, has no real i nterest i n vi si ti ng i t, and i snt i nterested i n any of the cul ture there,
then i t probabl y wont be that usef ul to get onto Europe as a topi c of conversati on.
However, do try to thi nk outsi de the box when i t comes to rel ati ng Mastery Topi cs to
thi ngs she mi ght be i nterested i n. For exampl e, i f youre an excel l ent and passi onate gol f
pl ayer, then she mi ght not be abl e to rel ate to gol f or be i nterested i n gol f speci f i cal l y,
but she mi ght have experi enced the same sort of emoti onal f eel i ng and stress rel ease i n
yoga that you do wi th gol f .
Fi nal l y, bear i n mi nd that l evel s of Mastery i n a topi c are rel ati ve. I f youre a prof essi onal
wri ter, and shes an aspi ri ng one, i ts a good Mastery Topi c to showcase your soci al val -
ue. On the other hand, i f shes a prof essi onal wri ter and youre the aspi ri ng one, i ts not a
bad topi c to get onto, but not one you want to stay on f or l ong i n the earl y stages where
you need to demonstrate your soci al val ue. When you get onto a topi c where you dont
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have any Mastery or she has more Mastery than you, i ts general l y a good i dea to rel ate
to her a l i ttl e, and then bri dge out of i t. Wel l come onto Bri dgi ng and Rel ati ng shortl y.
Bui l di ng At t ract i on usi ng Mast er y Topi cs
Once you have l ed the conversati on onto a Mastery Topi c, you bui l d Attracti on on i t by
usi ng I -statements. An I -statement i s a statement that uses the sel f to tal k about some-
thi ng, f or exampl e: I di d, I do, I know, I thi nk, I f eel , I want. The I -statements we want
to use i n Attracti on shoul d ul ti matel y construct sentences that l everage the attracti on
swi tches.
For exampl e, l ets l ook at the fol l owi ng statement.
I l ove gol f because i t real l y hel ps me to de-stress f rom a l ong week of work.
Theres a course real l y cl ose to me thats beauti f ul , and ever y Sunday my
f ri ends and I get together to debri ef and pl ay a f ew hol es. No matter how
stressed I am, I can al ways rel ax f or those f ew hours on a Sunday.
Thats good f or bui l di ng attracti on because i t contai ns l ots of I -statements whi ch l ever-
age attracti on swi tches ( worki ng hard ref l ects Passi on, havi ng a gol f course cl ose by re-
f l ects Status, and getti ng together wi th f ri ends every Sunday ref l ects Soci al I ntel l i gence) .
A bad set of thi ngs to say on the other hand, when bri ngi ng up gol f woul d be:
Oh, you l i ke gol f ? Thats great! Where do you pl ay? Oh I m probabl y not as good
as you. Have you pl ayed f or a l ong ti me? You sound l i ke youre a pro!
Thats a bad set of thi ngs because i t makes the i nteracti on al l about her, whi ch i n the
begi nni ng, when youre tryi ng to bui l d Attracti on, i t shoul dnt be.
As a general rul e, wi thi n the f i rst f i ve-mi nute conversati on, you shoul d be tal ki ng most of
the ti me. About 70% of your conversati on shoul d be I -statements, and the rest shoul d be
questi ons that are used to gui de and tai l or the conversati on.
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Bui l di ng Qual i f i cat i on usi ng Mast er y Topi cs
Mastery Topi cs are natural l y good topi cs f or Qual i f i cati on. I f these are the thi ngs that you
are most i nterested and experi enced i n i n l i f e, then i ts probabl y goi ng to be hard to con-
nect wi th a woman i f she has no vesti ge of i nterest i n those thi ngs.
She mi ght not necessari l y be di rectl y i nterested i n one of your Mastery Topi cs, but maybe
she i s i nterested i n somethi ng rel ated to or si mi l ar to i t. For exampl e, i f youre i nto sports,
she mi ght not pl ay anythi ng hersel f but maybe she goes to the gym regul arl y, whi ch
comes under the banner of heal th and f i tness. You can theref ore demonstrate some so-
ci al val ue and gi ve compl i ments by l everagi ng the sports topi c.
Note that Mastery Topi cs wont be the onl y thi ngs you qual i f y a woman on, but theyre a
good start. Once youve bui l t a bi t of Attracti on wi th her usi ng a coupl e of your Mastery
Topi cs, you can ask more about her i n rel ati on to thi ngs you dont have Mastery over, to
see i f she coul d match what youre l ooki ng f or. For exampl e, l aw i s not one my Mastery
Topi cs, but I l ove f i ndi ng out that a woman i s a successf ul l awyer ( because i t of ten means
shes i ntel l i gent, wel l -read, educated, arti cul ate and ambi ti ous) . So al though I dont use
the l aw topi c to bui l d Attracti on on, I do use i t to gi ve her a compl i ment or two.
BRI DGI NG
Bri dgi ng i s how you get onto Mastery Topi cs ( or how you end up at Dead Ends, whi ch
wel l come onto i n a bi t) . Si mi l ar i n nature to the Transi ti oni ng stage of the Love Systems
Tri ad, there are two maj or types of bri dges you can use.
The f i rst i s the Logi cal Bri dge. Thi s i s where you search f or a l ogi cal , f actual connecti on
between two topi cs. For exampl e, aski ng a woman what she does f or a l i vi ng, what she
does f or f un, or whether she l i kes danci ng are al l Logi cal Bri dges.
The second i s the Emoti onal Bri dge. Thi s i s where you search f or an emoti onal con-
necti on between two topi cs. For exampl e, aski ng a woman whether she enj oys her j ob,
whether she does anythi ng adventurous i n her spare ti me, or what i t i s she enj oys about
danci ng. I n these cases, youre tryi ng to l i nk topi cs by f i ndi ng a si mi l ar f eel i ng to her,
even though what causes you each to have that f eel i ng mi ght be di ff erent.
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You can use both questi ons and statements, separatel y or even together to make Logi cal
and Emoti onal Bri dges. Statements are general l y more usef ul when you know you have
to show a bi t more soci al val ue i n order to get her to open up ( especi al l y i f she seems a
bi t hesi tant to open up f i rst of al l ) .
Lets l ook at some exampl es.
Logi cal Bri dge ( Questi on) : What do you do f or a l i vi ng?
Logi cal Bri dge ( Statement) : You l ook l i ke youre a l awyer. Smart, no-nonsense
dress, upri ght posture, eyes that l ook l i ke they coul d sl ay someone i n a courtroom.
Emoti onal Bri dge ( Questi on) : Do you enj oy your j ob?
Emoti onal Bri dge ( Statement) : You l ook l i ke someone who enj oys what she
does. I thi nk thats great. I ts rare to meet peopl e who actual l y are doi ng
somethi ng they l ove.
DEAD ENDS
When you use Bri dges, youre tryi ng to manoeuvre the conversati on onto your Mastery
Topi cs. Occasi onal l y, youl l hi t Dead Ends, whi ch are topi cs you know very l i ttl e about
( the opposi te of Mastery Topi cs) .
For exampl e, when you ask a woman what she i s doi ng and the response i s shoppi ng,
that coul d be a Dead End topi c. To stay on i t, f or exampl e, aski ng what she i s buyi ng or
whether she shops a l ot, coul d go nowhere f ast. On the other hand, i f youre i nterested
i n f ashi on ( assumi ng she i s out buyi ng cl othes) , i t coul d actual l y l ead you onto a Mastery
Topi c.
But l ets say i ts a Dead End f or you. You want to go onto somethi ng more i nteresti ng, but
i f you j ust shut down the conversati on thread wi th an Oh. Wel l what el se do you do? i ts
goi ng to come across as soci al l y awkward.
So i nstead, you want to rel ate to her j ust enough to grease the wheel of the conversa-
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ti on, and then Bri dge out ( hopef ul l y onto somethi ng more i nteresti ng) . I f you can di rectl y
Bri dge onto a Mastery Topi c, great; i f not, j ust move up the Conversati on Map onto the
next f i el d of Conversati on ( i .e. progress f rom context to work or work to l ei sure) .
Note that i t wi l l be di ff i cul t to have a good conversati on i f you havent managed to get
onto a si ngl e Mastery Topi c by the ti me youve gone through the context, work and l ei -
sure f i el ds. I f thats happeni ng a l ot, i ts probabl y Bri dgi ng that you need to work on.
Rel ati ng means to accept her statement i n some way, perhaps sayi ng what you can about
i t your experi ence of that thi ng, rel ati ng the experi ences your f ri ends have had wi th i t,
or even j ust thi ngs youve heard about i t.
For exampl e, I dont know much about art, but i f a woman bri ngs up art i n a conversati on
( maybe because I asked what she does f or a l i vi ng and she i s an arti st) , I coul d say the
f ol l owi ng thi ngs to rel ate to her:
Oh thats cool . One of my f ri ends i s real l y i nto art and j ust bought a smal l gal l er y
here [ Rel ati ng] . Do you enj oy what you do [ Bri dgi ng out] ?
I nteresti ng. That makes a l ot of sense you seem l i ke the creati ve type. I l i ke that
[ Rel ati ng and a l i ttl e Qual i f i cati on] . So tel l me, what do you do f or f un, when
youre not pai nti ng, I mean [ Bri dgi ng out] ?
Ni ce. I never got i nto art much i n school [ Rel ati ng] , but recentl y i t dawned on me
that I need to f l ex my creati ve muscl es [ Bri dgi ng out] . I m i n marketi ng so f rom
ti me to ti me I need to brai nstorm and thi nk up new stuf f . I f i nd i t qui te
chal l engi ng but at the same ti me, qui te f un too.
As sai d earl i er, Mastery i s rel ati ve. So i f you real i ze a woman has more Mastery than you
on a parti cul ar topi c, consi der rel ati ng to her j ust enough to show you have some soci al
val ue on i t, bef ore you Bri dge out.
I NVESTMENT EQUI LI BRI UM
A l ot of men make the mi stake of tryi ng too hard to i mpress women. I ve seen thi s hun-
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dreds of ti mes even wi th guys who cl ai m they are good wi th women. When you try too
hard to prove your soci al val ue to peopl e, i t makes them f eel l i ke you are seeki ng thei r
approval . Some guys f al l i nto thi s trap by bei ng overl y cocky and f unny i n the f i rst f ew
mi nutes, i nstead of gi vi ng her a chance to tal k and rel ati ng to her worl d a l i ttl e.
Conversel y, a l ot of men make the opposi te mi stake of not tryi ng hard enough to i m-
press. They ask questi on af ter questi on, f orgetti ng to tal k about themsel ves and show
the woman anythi ng i nteresti ng about themsel ves. They try too hard to rel ate to her and
are not proacti ve enough i n demonstrati ng thei r soci al val ue.
You shoul d try to achi eve what I cal l an I nvestment Equi l i bri um i n your conversati ons.
Thi s i s when you l ead the conversati on down a good route, whi ch then gets her to open
up a l i ttl e, al l owi ng you to show some soci al val ue that i s goi ng to i nterest her, whi ch then
causes her to open up f urther and so on. I n thi s way, you both i nvest gradual l y i ncreasi ng
amounts i nto the conversati on to ensure that i ts i nteresti ng f or both of you, and that you
are demonstrati ng the ki nd of soci al val ue she i s i nterested i n.
For exampl e, i f you l i ke skydi vi ng and ask her i f shes i nterested i n extreme sports, you
need to check that she engages i n that topi c ( possi bl y tel l i ng you that yes, she l i kes ex-
treme sports, or maybe even j ust that yes, shes adventurous and wants to try skydi vi ng
someti me) bef ore you l aunch i nto a skydi vi ng story. I f she i s more of a bookworm type
and doesnt bi te on the extreme sports topi c, then youd be tryi ng too hard to i mpress i f
you went i nto a l ong skydi vi ng story.
When my f ri end and f el l ow i nstructor, , f amousl y pi cked up a Pl ayboy
Pl aymate doi ng a dayti me approach ( you can read the ) , he menti oned to
her that he ran a cl ub promoti ons company i n London. That val ue was rel evant to her
because she was i nvol ved i n the promoti ons i ndustry. Had he menti oned i t to a woman
who worked as a pai nter and had no i nterest i n soci al i zi ng i n ni ghtcl ubs, i t woul d have
had a f ar l esser i mpact.
Getti ng good at I nvestment Equi l i bri um wi l l take some ti me and a l ot of practi ce. The
l i ne between showi ng you have enough val ue and tryi ng too hard to i mpress can be a
f i ne one. The easi est way to thi nk about i t i s that when you ask a woman questi ons, you
shoul d general l y make a f ew statements that show some rel evant val ue bef ore aski ng
more questi ons, i .e. bef ore aski ng her to i nvest more i n the conversati on.
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I f you are onl y aski ng questi ons and not tal ki ng about yoursel f , you are probabl y
not showi ng enough rel evant val ue.
I f you are maki ng l ots of statements and she i s barel y sayi ng anythi ng, you are
probabl y tryi ng too hard to i mpress her.
Lets l ook at an exampl e of not showi ng enough val ue.
Mi chael : You dont sound l i ke you are f rom around here, where are you f rom?
Kati e: I m f rom Canada.
Mi chael : Canada? Cool ! What are you doi ng here?
Kati e: Just on hol i day.
Mi chael : Cool ! Do you l i ke i t?
Kati e: Yeah i ts ok.
Mi chael : Cool . What do you do f or f un?
Kati e: Sorr y, I real l y have to get goi ng...
I n thi s di al ogue, Mi chael di dnt off er any rel evant val ue or show that he had an opi ni on
about thi ngs, a sense of humor, or any ki nd of rel atabl e l i f e experi ence. Kati e has to ex-
cuse hersel f rather than expl ai n hersel f to someone she doesnt see any val ue i n.
Lets l ook at an exampl e of tryi ng too hard to show val ue.
Mi chael : You dont sound l i ke you are f rom around here, where are you f rom?
Kati e: I m f rom Canada.
Mi chael : Oh cool . My ex-gi rl f ri end i s f rom Canada. I met her there whi l e I was
snowboardi ng l ast year and she was doi ng a photo shoot.
Kati e: Oh, cool .
Mi chael : Yeah i t was a f un f or a whi l e. I real l y l ove snowboardi ng I m trai ni ng
to enter the European champi onshi ps thi s year.
Kati e: Oh, thats cool .
Mi chael : Yeah i ts a l ot of hard work, especi al l y because work i s so busy ri ght
now I m a management consul tant by the way. But to get anywhere i n l i f e
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takes sacri f i ce, you know? So l i sten, do you want to grab a dri nk wi th me some
ti me?
Kati e: Oh thanks, but I have a boyf ri end.
I n t hi s di al ogue, Mi chael t ri ed t oo hard t o show val ue and gave away l ot s of det ai l s about
hi msel f upf ront wi t hout wai t i ng t o see whet her Kat i e was i nt erest ed i n t hose det ai l s. When
he asked her out , she made a pol i t e excuse t o duck out of i t .
Fi nal l y, l ets l ook at an exampl e where Mi chael gets i t ri ght, demonstrati ng j ust
enough rel evant val ue to get Kati e to open up and become attracted to hi m.
Mi chael : You dont sound l i ke you are f rom around here, where are you f rom?
Kati e: I m f rom Canada.
Mi chael : Awesome! I l ove Canadi ans I f i nd them to be the f ri endl i est peopl e on
Earth. What are you doi ng i n London?
Kati e: Haha, yes we Canadi ans are cool ! I m j ust here f or a hol i day wi th f ri ends.
Mi chael : Hol i day, eh? I thi nk you are j ust here to pi ck up cute Engl i sh guys. What
do you guys thi nk of London so f ar?
Kati e: Haha, maybe I am! I ts real l y cool here, I l i ke i t. Everyone i s so fri endl y and
theres so much to do. I ts much qui eter where I m f rom.
Mi chael : Thats the cool thi ng about London. You can do al most anythi ng you
want here. And i ts such a cosmopol i tan ci ty; you get to meet peopl e f rom al l
over. So tel l me Kati e, what do you do f or f un?
Noti ce how Mi chael makes j ust enough val ue statements to rei nf orce the threads of di s-
cussi on and l ead the conversati on towards topi cs of mutual i nterest i n thi s case, meet-
i ng peopl e f rom di ff erent cul tures and what i ts l i ke bei ng i n London.
Bei ng abl e to structure and l ead a conversati on that demonstrates your soci al val ue wi th
the ri ght rel evance and i n the correct proporti on i s a ski l l that takes ti me to acqui re. I f
you master i t, doi ng so demonstrates soci al i ntel l i gence i n i tsel f .
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CHAPTER SUMMARY
Conversati on Mappi ng i s a method of bui l di ng Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on very
eff i ci entl y wi thi n a f i ve-mi nute conversati on wi th a woman.
The three f i el ds of the Conversati on Map you shoul d go through when you f i rst
meet a woman i n the dayti me are context ( what i s goi ng on ri ght now) , work
( what you and her do f or work) and l ei sure ( what you and her do f or l ei sure) .
Usi ng the Conversati on Map, you shoul d steer the conversati on towards Mastery
Topi cs, whi ch are topi cs you are very knowl edgeabl e about. Use these Mastery
Topi cs to bui l d Attracti on (by maki ng statements) and Qual i fi cati on (by aski ng
questi ons and gi vi ng compl i ments).
You can Bri dge between topi cs usi ng l ogi cal or emoti onal l i nks.
Make sure you bear i n mi nd how i nvested she i s i n a parti cul ar topi c bef ore you
start tal ki ng about i t a l ot.
I f you get onto Dead End topi cs, Bri dge out of them onto areas where you have
Mastery.
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CHAPTER 10
COMFORT
CHAPTER OUTLI NE
What i s Comf ort?
Comf ort I n Dayti me Dati ng
Shari ng and Empathy
Physi cal Comf ort
Logi sti cal Comf ort
Si gns of Comf ort
WHAT I S COMFORT?
Af ter bui l di ng Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on wi th a woman, the next phase of Emoti onal
Progressi on to consi der i s Comf ort.
Comf ort i s the phase where you real l y get to know each other. Thi s means openi ng up
and shari ng i nf ormati on about your l i ves wi th each other. For exampl e, i t i ncl udes shari ng
i nf ormati on about careers, hobbi es, f uture goal s, f ri ends and f ami l y.
Most guys who arent f ami l i ar wi th and Love Systems methodol ogy make
the mi stake of goi ng i nto Comf ort wi th a woman strai ght away, but dont f orget that At-
tracti on i s the prerequi si te of Comf ort i f you dont show any soci al val ue to a woman,
she has no reason to want to open up and share i nf ormati on about hersel f wi th you.
The Comf ort phase i s cri ti cal f or maki ng a woman f eel comf ortabl e enough to sl eep wi th
you. I t shows a woman that you understand her, and are theref ore more l i kel y to be abl e
make her f eel good when she i s wi th you. No matter how much Attracti on or Qual i f i cati on
you bui l d wi th a woman, i n general youl l sti l l need some l evel of Comfort to progress thi ngs.
I n thi s chapter, wel l go over the key pri nci pl es of shari ng and empathi zi ng that l i e at the
heart of Comf ort, as wel l as the physi cal and l ogi sti cal aspects of Comf ort-bui l di ng. Fi rst,
l ets take a l ook at how Comf ort f i ts i nto dayti me dati ng.
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COMFORT I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
Remember that the three parts of the Love System Tri ad Emoti onal , Physi cal and Logi s-
ti cal Progressi on shoul d occur i n sync. I n the case of Comf ort bui l di ng, you need to be
i n a si tuati on wi th a woman where you have ampl e ti me and are f ree enough of di strac-
ti ons to share thi ngs wi th each other. I n dayti me dati ng, thi s general l y means setti ng up
a date.
I t mi ght be a date that you suggest and set f or a l ater ti me, or i t mi ght even be an i nstant
date ( where you go on a date wi th a woman af ter j ust a f ew mi nutes of meeti ng and tal k-
i ng wi th her) . Thi s i s a key part of Logi sti cal Progressi on and wel l cover i t i n detai l i n
the next chapter. For now, real i ze that most of your Comf ort bui l di ng wi l l take pl ace on
that date, and that your i ni ti al meeti ng and conversati on wi th a woman shoul d f ocus on
Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on.
( Note that theres al ready some l evel of Comf ort i nherent to the process I outl i ned i n
Conversati on Mappi ng, mai nl y because i t i nvol ves tal ki ng about thi ngs youre passi onate
about whi ch as wel l see i n thi s chapter, i s i mportant i n the Comf ort phase. However,
the pri mary goal of Conversati on Mappi ng i s not Comf ort, but rather to demonstrate your
soci al val ue and recogni ze hers so that she mi ght want to spend more ti me wi th you.)
When you get i nto Comf ort ( when youre on a date) , your f ocus shoul d shi f t i nto more
emoti onal topi cs, shari ng perspecti ves wi th her, and bui l di ng a f eel i ng of rapport. I n that
sense, Comf ort i s l ess about showi ng soci al val ue to her, and more about shari ng emo-
ti onal val ue wi th each other.
Remember al so, that bei ng i n the Comf ort phase doesnt mean you never need to do any
Attracti on or Qual i f i cati on work ever agai n. Qui te the contrary: youl l need to keep top-
pi ng up Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on l evel s as you go through Comf ort. You cant store
emoti ons i n the bank. So remember that her f eel i ngs wi l l retur n to thei r pri or state over
ti me unl ess you keep up the Emoti onal Progressi on.
Comf ort wi l l f orm the bul k of your i nteracti ons wi th women af ter youve attracted and
qual i f i ed them. You wi l l probabl y spend a f ew hours bui l di ng Comf ort wi th a woman be-
f ore you sl eep wi th her. Thi s may happen i n one meeti ng, on the f i rst date, or over the
course of several meeti ngs.
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Ul ti matel y, there are no hard and f ast rul es as to how l ong i t takes to sl eep wi th a wom-
an. The mai n thi ng i s to make sure you are progressi ng the i nteracti on gradual l y as you
spend more ti me wi th her. Wel l cover i n detai l i n the
next part of thi s book.
SHARI NG AND EMPATHI ZI NG
Shari ng and empathi zi ng are the f oundati ons of Comf ort. A woman wants to know that
she can share detai l s of her l i f e and how she f eel s wi th you, and that you understand her.
She al so wants to see that you can do the same wi th her.
The more she shares wi th you, the more shel l f eel comf ortabl e wi th you. So i ts i n your
i nterest to get her to open up. I n other words, ask questi ons and f i nd out more about
her. Di g beyond the surf ace and real l y try to get to know her as a person: what are her
passi ons, moti vati ons, ambi ti ons, desi res, opi ni ons and experi ences i n l i f e?
General l y speaki ng, youl l bui l d stronger Comf ort i f you f ocus on topi cs of emoti onal rel -
evance to her. For exampl e, i f she has a strong f eel i ng towards her j ob ( whether i t gi ves
her a good or bad f eel i ng) , by shari ng that wi th you, shel l f eel more emoti onal l y i nvested
i n you. On the other hand, i f she i snt real l y bothered about her j ob, but gets exci ted
more about what she does i n her spare ti me, then her hobbi es and i nterests are probabl y
better topi cs to get i nto.
Here are some good topi cs for Comfort:
Career and work
Hobbi es and I nterests ( f or exampl e, sports, travel l i ng, musi c, movi es, readi ng, art)
Li f e goal s and ambi ti ons
Fri ends and f ami l y
Personal hi story ( f or exampl e, where she grew up, earl y j obs, educati on)
As a woman shares i nf ormati on wi th you about these thi ngs, you shoul d try to empathi ze
wi th her and share your own rel ated experi ences. When you rel ate to a woman ( or any-
one, f or that matter) , you dont necessari l y need to have experi enced the same thi ng as
them i n l ogi cal terms to be abl e to empathi ze. I nstead, i ts more i mportant to recogni ze
the emoti onal content of what theyre sayi ng and empathi ze wi th that, shari ng somethi ng
that made you f eel si mi l arl y.
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For exampl e, i f a woman shares wi th you that she enj oys horse ri di ng because she l oves
nature and i t gi ves her a sense of f reedom when she i s ri di ng, you dont necessari l y have
to have been horse ri di ng yoursel f to rel ate to her. Maybe you experi ence a si mi l ar f eel -
i ng when you ri de your motorcycl e or put the top down on your car on a sunny day, and
coul d use that to rel ate to her experi ence.
I f you cannot empathi ze wi th somethi ng f or exampl e, you meet an accountant and you
have nothi ng you thi nk you can rel ate to on that f i el d then you can try to di g deeper i nto
the topi c or across to another topi c to f i nd somethi ng you can empathi ze wi th. To use the
accountant as an exampl e, here i s how you coul d di g deeper i nto the topi c of careers to
f i nd somethi ng you can rel ate to:
Amanda: I m an accountant.
Jeremy: Ver y cool . What do you enj oy about i t?
Amanda: Wel l , not much! I t pays the bi l l s...
Jeremy: Haha, wel l tel l me then, what woul d you dream j ob be?
Amanda: Wel l ... I ve al ways wanted to be a si nger.
Jeremy: Thats so cool . I magi ne si ngi ng on a crui se shi p and getti ng to travel
the worl d. That woul d be amazi ng! Where woul d you travel to?
Here i s an exampl e of di ggi ng across topi cs; i n thi s case from careers to hobbi es
as a means to fi nd somethi ng to rel ate to:
Amanda: I m an accountant.
Jeremy: Ver y cool . What do you do when you have ti me of f ?
Amanda: Erm... I l i ke hangi ng out wi th f ri ends. Shoppi ng, I guess.
Jeremy: Sure, I l ove hangi ng out wi th f ri ends too. But l et me put i t thi s way, i f
you had tomorrow of f and I gave you $1m to do whatever you wanted to do,
what woul d you do?
Amanda: Haha... I thi nk I woul d go on hol i day. To Hawai i .
Jeremy: Thats awesome. I have a Hawai i an f ri end that i s al ways tel l i ng me how
beauti f ul i t i s there. I thi nk I l l go vi si t her there and hang out someday.
You don t al ways have t o agree wi t h ever yt hi ng a woman says or share her sent i ment re-
gardi ng an experi ence. I of t en have di f f erent vi ews t o t he women I meet and spend t i me
wi t h. But I rarel y i nval i dat e t hei r emot i ons by sayi ng t o t hem, You re wrong. I nst ead, I say
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t hi ngs l i ke, I see where you re comi ng f rom, or That s an i nt erest i ng perspect i ve, and
t hen st at e how I f eel about i t . I n t hi s way, al t hough you may have di f f erent vi ews on some-
t hi ng, you can bot h empat hi ze wi t h each ot her on an emot i onal l evel .
As you spend more t i me wi t h a woman, most l i kel y on a dat e t hat you ve set up af t er you ve
f i rst met her, you shoul d t r y t o get t o know her on a more personal l evel . Thi s means get t i ng
i nt o deeper emot i onal t opi cs, f or exampl e f i ndi ng out about her val ues and l i f e ambi t i ons.
Heres an exampl e of gradual l y get t i ng a woman t o open up more and more:
Heres an exampl e of gradual l y getti ng a woman to open up more and more:
John: So tel l me more about what youre goi ng to do i n Chi cago. Wi l l you be an
accountant there al so?
Sarah: I dont know exactl y, yet. Maybe. Someti mes Im not sure what I want to do.
John: I thi nk a l ot of peopl e are that way at certai n stages i n thei r l i ves. I ts
al most l i ke i ts a conti nual process of tr yi ng to f i gure out what you real l y want,
and stri ppi ng away al l of the thi ngs that the worl d makes you thi nk you want.
Whats i mportant to you i n l i f e?
Sarah: My f ri ends and my f ami l y I guess. I l i ke doi ng new thi ngs, especi al l y
thi ngs wi th a l ot of energy, l i ke sports and danci ng. I real l y l ove to cook, but I m
not sure whether I coul d be a chef .
John: Wel l , Chi cago woul d be a great pl ace to l earn. They have some f antasti c
cui si ne there. One of my best f ri ends i s a chef there and he al ways treats me to
some amazi ng f ood. What do you f eel i s stoppi ng you f rom bei ng a chef ?
Sarah: I m not sure. I ve been an accountant f or so l ong. But i ts bori ng, you
know? The money i s decent, but I m j ust not passi onate about i t anymore. The
thought of bei ng a chef i s so exci ti ng!
John: Absol utel y! I al ways l ove those ki tchen chal l enge shows and thi nk theyre
so much f un. I ts amazi ng what they can wi th the most ri di cul ous i ngredi ents.
At the end of the day,l earni ng any new prof essi on takes hard work and a bi t
of ti me. Of course i ts goi ng to be strange tr yi ng to l earn somethi ng new,
but i t sounds l i ke youre goi ng to be unhappy i f you conti nue doi ng what youre
doi ng now. On the other hand, i t may feel strange l earni ng a new trade, but youl l
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probabl y enj oy the process and be much happi er wi thi n a f ew months ti me.
Sarah: I thi nk youre ri ght. I shoul d j ust go do i t. John, i ts so easy to tal k wi th
you. I cant bel i eve I j ust met you today i n the park.
John: Wel l , I m gl ad I came to tal k to you. There are a l ot of good-l ooki ng
women i n London, but i ts rare to meet someone whos real l y passi onate,
i ntel l i gent and mature. I thi nk i ts i mportant to take chances to meet peopl e that
you mi ght get al ong wi th. The same goes f or your j ob: i t mi ght be a ri sk to tr y
the whol e chef thi ng, but i ts better to tr y and f i nd out than to al ways wonder
what coul d have happened.
See how John asks Sarah questi ons to f i nd out more about her, steeri ng the conversa-
ti on to good Comf ort topi cs l i ke l i f e goal s. He shares hi s own experi ences, thoughts and
f eel i ngs i n retur n and then encourages Sarah to open up more.
Sarah f eel s comf ortabl e i n tal ki ng wi th John and gi ves hi m a ni ce compl i ment. He reci p-
rocates and emphasi zes why he l i kes her gi vi ng her the f eel i ng that she woul dnt j ust
be another notch on hi s bedpost i f she were to sl eep wi th hi m.
Comf ort Gui del i nes
As you get better at bui l di ng Comf ort, there are a f ew thi ngs you need to bear i n mi nd.
Keep the conversati on as posi ti ve as possi bl e. Dont tal k negati vel y about your
own l i fe, and i f she gets onto a topi c thats negati ve for her, empathi ze but gentl y
gui de the conversati on towards a more upbeat topi c.
Dont be cocky, di squal i f y, tease or make f un of her when she i s openi ng up to
you. Those thi ngs can be usef ul i n the Attracti on phase, but they can hamper
thi ngs i n Comf ort ( al though i f you sense Attracti on l evel s are droppi ng, they
mi ght be usef ul i n smal l doses to renew them) .
Dont be afrai d to show a l i ttl e vul nerabi l i ty (so l ong as i t i s fol l owed by posi ti vi ty).
For exampl e, I have a f ear of hei ghts and i t makes me f eel l i ke a l oser, i s bad,
but I have an i ncredi bl e fear of hei ghts, so next year I ve booked a skydi vi ng tri p
so I can overcome i t, i s good.
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Dont be more emoti onal than her. You shoul d try to gui de her to open up to you,
and then open up an equi val ent amount yoursel f . I f you start gushi ng about your
f eel i ngs more than she does to you, i t coul d be a real tur n-off .
More seri ous topi cs ( and that of ten i ncl udes detai l s of bad break-ups and past
rel ati onshi ps) are best kept unti l l ater dates, possi bl y even once youve started
dati ng more seri ousl y. You dont want to be the shoulder a woman cries on until youve
established a real relationship with her.
Dont be j udgmental about anythi ng she says. Keep a compl etel y open mi nd and
be wi l l i ng to l ear n f rom her as a person
Tal k i n terms of the emoti ons behi nd thi ngs rather than the l ogi cal or materi al
thi ngs themsel ves. For exampl e, you dont establ i sh more Comf ort wi th a woman
by tel l i ng her that you have a Ferrari . But you do by tel l i ng her that f or a l ong
ti me i t was your dream to own a great sports car and that you had to work day
and ni ght f or a l ong ti me to get to a poi nt i n your l i f e where you coul d; and that
now, you l ove nothi ng more than dri vi ng on an empty l ane i n the countrysi de as
f ast as you can because thats when you f eel the most f ree.
Tal ki ng i n Emot i onal Terms
Most men have a real i ssue wi th tal ki ng i n terms of emoti ons, whi ch i s why theyre never
abl e to establ i sh as deep a Comf ort wi th women as they coul d. Women are natural l y very
i n touch wi th thei r emoti ons, but as men, we push our emoti ons down and dont real l y
understand how they aff ect us and i ndeed, can empower us.
The tri ck to understandi ng and appreci ati ng your emoti ons i s to keep di ggi ng at the f acts
deeper and deeper unti l you get to the raw emoti ons that make certai n experi ences si g-
ni f i cant to you. Then when you are wi th a woman and want to tel l her about one of these
experi ences, package up the emoti ons i n a posi ti ve way and expl ai n the events that l ed
to these f eel i ngs.
Heres an exampl e of somethi ng that actual l y happened to me whi l e I was i n Thai l and.
The f acts of the experi ence are qui te strai ghtf orward I met a gi rl and had sex on the
beach wi th her but how I dress up the story i s a great exampl e of usi ng emoti ve l an-
guage i n order to bui l d Comf ort. I f you read i t caref ul l y, there i s a l ot of posi ti ve senti ment
as wel l as f rames of adventurousness, spontanei ty, romance and sexual i ty. Dont repeat
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thi s to a woman yoursel f ( because i t di dnt actual l y happen to you) , but thi nk about how
you coul d use more emoti ve l anguage to descri be somethi ng that di d happen to you.
Have you ever been to Thai l and? I ts i ncredi bl e there. Honestl y, I dont thi nk I ve ever f el t
as f ree i n my enti re l i f e as I have when I was there.
I remember one ni ght, I was travel l i ng al one on one of the i sl ands, Ko Pha Ngan. I had
j ust l ef t my f ri ends on the l ast i sl and, so I di dnt know anyone there. I went to thi s huge
Ful l Moon Party. There were peopl e ever ywhere, dri nki ng and danci ng on the beach - i t
was crazy.
I chatted to a f ew peopl e, but the crowd got too crazy f or me, so I went f or a wal k. To-
wards the si de of the beach I saw thi s absol utel y beauti f ul gi rl si tti ng by hersel f . I dont
thi nk I ve ever seen someone l ook so at peace wi th hersel f .
I asked her i f I coul d j oi n her and we started tal ki ng. About two hours l ater, we were both
drunk on buckets of cocktai l s and stari ng out at the ocean. Somethi ng cl i cked between
us, and between the al cohol , the sun setti ng and the sof t, warm sand beneath us, i t was
l i ke we were perf ectl y i n sync wi th each other.
I m not normal l y one f or al f resco sex, but i n that moment wi th her i t was l i ke ever ythi ng
el se di sappeared. I t was j ust she and I i n thi s beauti f ul l i ttl e bubbl e, whi l e the outsi de
worl d parti ed and kept spi nni ng wi thout us.
I thi nk someti mes i t takes a f eel i ng of f reedom to be abl e to have a connecti on l i ke that.
Too of ten i n the bi g ci ty, peopl e l ose si ght of that f reedom. Do you know what I mean?
PHYSI CAL COMFORT
Another strong component of Comf ort, i n addi ti on to verbal l y shari ng and empathi zi ng
wi th a woman, i s how you are physi cal l y wi th her. That means your body l anguage when
you tal k wi th her, how you l ook at her and how you touch her. Lets have a l ook at the
mai n areas to be aware of .
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Eye cont act
Look her strai ght i n the eyes when you l i sten to her. I t sounds l i ke a si mpl e thi ng to do,
but a l ot of guys who arent conf i dent avoi d i t. I f you cant l ook her i n the eyes, then every
other Comf ort-bui l der you use wi l l be wasted.
I ts ok to l ook off i nto the di stance, f or exampl e, sl i ghtl y up towards a poi nt i n space,
when you are tel l i ng a story or tal ki ng about somethi ng you are real l y passi onate about
( parti cul arl y i n the Attracti on phase) . But f or the maj ori ty of the ti me, and certai nl y when-
ever you are l i steni ng to her tal k, you shoul d mai ntai n eye contact.
Smi l e
When you are tel l i ng her somethi ng that f i l l s you wi th posi ti ve emoti on, f or exampl e a
story about how you travel l ed to Thai l and, show her that by smi l i ng. When you are l i sten-
i ng to her, empathi ze wi th her good f eel i ngs by smi l i ng.
However, be caref ul not to smi l e al l the ti me she i s tal ki ng; thi s l ooks l i ke you are tryi ng
too hard to empathi ze ( remember, a guy who over-empathi zes doesnt bui l d good Com-
f ort) . The best way i s to keep a hi nt of a smi l e on your f ace i n a very rel axed manner.
Body posi t i oni ng
When you are bui l di ng Comf ort wi th her, tur n your body to f ace hers di rectl y. Look atten-
ti ve and l i ke you are f ul l y i nvested i n the i nteracti on. Lean f orward when you get real l y
engrossed i n what she i s sayi ng. When you are bui l di ng Attracti on and showi ng val ue,
i ts ok to l ean back and tal k at a sl i ght angl e to her; but i n Comf ort, tur n your body so i t
f aces her compl etel y.
Touchi ng
Touchi ng a woman bui l ds Comf ort wi th her. Touch her hand or her arm when you are tal k-
i ng and want to emphasi ze an emoti on behi nd a poi nt, f or exampl e, Oh my god, I went
on the best rol l ercoaster the other day [ touch her arm l i ghtl y] ; you woul d have l oved i t!
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Stroke her arm whi l e you are si tti ng next to her or i n f ront of her. Take her hand and hol d i t
when you move f rom one pl ace to another. Stroke strands of her hai r back over her f ace.
Gi ve her a ki ss on the f orehead or cheek every now and then. Fi nal l y, a ni ce gesture that
demonstrates a protecti ve and strong qual i ty i s to put your arm around her l ower back
whenever there i s a crowd of peopl e bustl i ng by.
LOGI STI CAL COMFORT
How wel l we f eel l i ke we know someone i s not j ust a f uncti on of ti me but a f uncti on of
memori es shared as wel l . Theref ore the more di ff erent pl aces you see and di ff erent thi ngs
you do wi th a woman, the more memori es and Comf ort you create wi th her.
Logi sti cal Comfort i ncl udes the fol l owi ng:
Instant-dati ng. Movi ng her from where you fi rst met her i n the dayti me to another
l ocati on. Wal ki ng wi th a woman down the street i s the si mpl est exampl e of an
i nstant date that bui l ds Comf ort. I f that goes wel l , you coul d take a l onger wal k
around the ci ty ( i f i ts a decent area and a good day to wal k) , go to a park, grab
a coff ee or a dri nk.
Goi ng on a date i n the eveni ng. Meeti ng her agai n l ater that eveni ng or a f ew
days af ter you f i rst met her i s the most f requentl y used method of bui l di ng
l ogi sti cal Comf ort.
Venue changi ng. Taki ng her to a f ew di ff erent bars when you go on a date i s
someti mes pref erabl e to j ust stayi ng i n one bar f or three hours, because more
memori es are created f rom bei ng wi th you i n three di ff erent envi ronments rather
than j ust one.
Doi ng acti vi ti es together. Thi s can be as si mpl e as danci ng together i n a ni ght
cl ub, doi ng shots at the bar, cooki ng together or watchi ng a DVD at home. As
you get deeper i nto Comf ort ( once you i n a rel ati onshi p) , the acti vi ti es can
i ncl ude meeti ng each others f ri ends and f ami l i es or taki ng a tri p away together.
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SI GNS OF COMFORT
Addressi ng how much Comf ort you need to bui l d wi th each i ndi vi dual woman i s more
di ff i cul t: al though there are certai n si gnal s you can l ook out f or, they are never 100%
f ool proof and women wi l l al ways surpri se you wi th how ready or not they are to get more
physi cal wi th you.
Nevertheless, here are some good signs that indicate you have a decent level of Comfort:
She tel l s you personal thi ngs about her that she woul dnt tel l to strangers.
She l eaves her f ri ends to spend ti me wi th you or comes out by hersel f to meet
you ( i ncl udi ng comi ng on a date wi th you) .
She agrees to do thi ngs f or you. For exampl e, cook f or you, wear a sexy outf i t
f or you, or bri ng wi ne over to your pl ace.
She agrees to do thi ngs wi th you. For exampl e, come to a dance l esson wi th
you, watch a DVD wi th you, or come to a party wi th you.
Ul ti matel y though, the onl y way you know whether you have enough Comf ort i s to try
to progress and observe the response. I f you try to progress and she compl i es or re-
ci procates then you have enough Comf ort. I f she doesnt, then you need to bui l d more
Comf ort.
For exampl e, i f you ask her i f she wants to come back to your pl ace, or she i s at your
pl ace and you try to take her cl othes off , any of the fol l owi ng responses i ndi cate that
you dont have enough Comfort wi th her:
Thi s i s movi ng too f ast.
I dont know you that wel l .
Can we j ust tal k?
We need to sl ow down.
I f you get a response l i ke thi s, i ts not a bi g deal . I ts not the woman rej ecti ng you or any
reason to f eel di sappoi nted at al l . Al l the woman i s sayi ng i s that you need to bui l d some
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more Comf ort wi th her f i rst. So si mpl y keep tal ki ng and usi ng the methods descri bed i n
the rest of thi s chapter to bui l d more Comf ort and try progressi ng agai n a l i ttl e l ater.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Comf ort i s the phase when you and a woman get to know each other on a more
personal l evel .
I t i s achi eved by mutual shari ng and empathi zi ng on personal topi cs. Bui l di ng
deeper
Comf ort means tal ki ng about thi ngs that i nvol ve more i ntense emoti ons.
You can bui l d Comf ort i n verbal , physi cal and l ogi sti cal ways.
You know you have bui l t enough Comf ort when she i s comf ortabl e wi th you
progressi ng thi ngs ( physi cal l y and/or l ogi sti cal l y) .
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PHYSICAL AND
LOGISTICAL PROGRESSION
CHAPTERS
11. Physical Progression
12. Logistical Progression
13. Case Studies
PART I I I
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CHAPTER 11
PHYSI CAL PROGRESSI ON
CHAPTER OUTLI NE
What i s Physi cal Progressi on?
Physi cal Progressi on i n Dayti me Dati ng
Physi cal Progressi on Steps
WHAT I S PHYSI CAL PROGRESSI ON?
I n the l ast part of the book we l ooked at how to tal k wi th a woman to bui l d emoti onal i n-
ti macy wi th her ( the Emoti onal Progressi on part of the Love Systems Tri ad) . But you al so
need to understand Physi cal and Logi sti cal Progressi on i f you are goi ng to sl eep wi th her.
Physi cal Progressi on means advanci ng through more i nti mate l evel s of physi cal contact
wi th a woman; f or exampl e ki ssi ng or sl eepi ng wi th her. Logi sti cal Progressi on i s about
getti ng her al one ( away f rom f ri ends) and somewhere pri vate where you can get more
i nti mate wi th her.
I ts natural to f i nd these two aspects of seducti on chal l engi ng. Most men experi ence a
si mi l ar f ear of rej ecti on when they consi der ki ssi ng a woman, aski ng her out or when they
consi der approachi ng a woman. The progressi on steps outl i ned i n thi s chapter are f ai rl y
strai ghtf orward; the chal l enge l i es mai nl y i n overcomi ng your anxi eti es and bei ng wi l l i ng
to ri sk taki ng thi ngs f urther wi th a woman.
I f you are bui l di ng Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on and Comf ort, a woman expects and hopes
that you wi l l progress the i nteracti on wi th her. I n f act, i f you dont, she wi l l l ose some at-
tracti on f or you. Conversel y, i f you try to progress thi ngs wi th her and you dont succeed
perhaps she decl i nes your off er of a coff ee or says, I cant ri ght now her Attracti on
to you actual l y i ncreases because you had the guts to l ead and try to take thi ngs f urther.
She may even be attracted to you qui te a bi t, but i s not compl etel y ready yet so you
need to spend more ti me bui l di ng Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on and Comf ort wi th her.
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PHYSI CAL PROGRESSI ON I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
The pri nci pl es descri bed i n f or Physi cal and Logi sti cal Progressi on l argel y
appl y to dayti me dati ng as wel l as i n bars and cl ubs, but the maj or di ff erence to bear i n
mi nd i s:
Physi cal touchi ng shoul d be kept l i ght unti l you are on a date wi th her
I n a ni ghtti me venue, a hi gher l evel of touchi ng i s soci al l y acceptabl e and even expected.
But i n the dayti me, excessi ve touchi ng can i nti mi date a woman. Thats not to say you
shoul dnt touch her at al l . Usi ng Soci al Touch ( and i n some cases, Fri endl y Touch) i s a
real l y good i dea, but you want to save the more i nti mate f orms of Physi cal Progressi on
f or when you are on a date wi th her or somewhere pri vate.
PHYSI CAL PROGRESSI ON STEPS
The surpri si ng truth of women i s that they enj oy sex as much as we do ( i f not more so) ,
but the route they pref er to get there i s di ff erent. As men, we tend to thi nk i n concrete,
pre-pl anned and l ogi cal steps; f or exampl e, We l i ke each other, theref ore we shoul d go
home together and have sex. Women pref er to f eel that thi ngs are f l owi ng natural l y f rom
one event to the next, al most beyond thei r control whi ch i s why they f requentl y use the
phrase, one thi ng l ed to another, to descri be dates that end i n sex.
The secret to Physi cal Progressi on i s to make the steps as smal l as possi bl e. I f you
havent touched her f or three hours, then suddenl y you l unge f orward to ki ss her as your
date ends, she wi l l be taken by surpri se and probabl y recoi l . On the other hand, i f youve
been si tti ng cl ose to her, gradual l y touchi ng her hands, her arms and hai r more and more
over the l ast f ew hours, then i t wi l l seem natural to tur n her head and ki ss her a l i ttl e on
the l i ps.
The second part of i t i s that every ti me you take a step f orward, you are testi ng whether
she i s ready or not. Of course i f you are bui l di ng Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on and Comf ort
then a woman shoul d be attracted to you, but you never 100% know i f she i s ready to
progress the i nteracti on wi th you unti l you try. So be wi l l i ng to make a smal l step f orward
to see how she reacts.
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I f a woman l ets you touch her or doesnt recoi l f rom your touch, then thats al most cer-
tai nl y a green l i ght that says, I am comf ortabl e and enj oy you touchi ng me l i ke thi s. I f
she does pul l back or l ook uncomf ortabl e, then sl ow down f or a l i ttl e whi l e, concentrate
on your Emoti onal Progressi on ( Attracti on, Qual i f i cati on and Comf ort) and wai t unti l a
l i ttl e l ater to try touchi ng her agai n.
When you make these l i ttl e steps f orward physi cal l y, you wi l l probabl y f eel some anxi ety.
You mi ght thi nk, What i f she rej ects my advance? Wi l l she be angry wi th me or l ose At-
tracti on f or me? The real i ty of i t i s that i f you are tal ki ng to a woman and showi ng val ue,
she expects that you wi l l try to take the i nteracti on f urther. You hurt yoursel f more by not
doi ng so because you show that you dont have the conf i dence to l ead and take ri sks
wi th her. Countl ess ti mes a woman has spur ned my advances, onl y f or us to keep con-
versi ng and l ater end up bei ng physi cal wi th each other.
There are f our stages of physi cal progressi on: Soci al , Fri endl y, Romanti c and Sexual
Touch. We covered these al ready i n the Love Systems Tri ad chapter, but l ets have a l ook
i n greater detai l at how to appl y these when we meet women duri ng the dayti me.
Soci al Touch
Soci al Touch shoul d be used i mmedi atel y af ter approachi ng a woman i n the dayti me. I n
f act, i ts a part of the Bri dge process: you shake her hand as you exchange names wi th
her.
Beyond the handshake, however, i t can be very powerf ul to use l i ght touches on her
hand, f orearm, el bow or shoul der f rom ti me to ti me as you tal k to her over the next f ew
mi nutes. These l i ght touches get her used to havi ng a l evel of physi cal contact wi th you
and wi l l rei nf orce the Emoti onal Progressi on you do wi th her, especi al l y i f you use them
duri ng peaks of emoti onal i ntensi ty i n the conversati on.
The l i ght touch can be di ff i cul t to master but i s i ncredi bl y usef ul i f you do. Thi nk of i t l i ke
how you woul d smi l e at certai n poi nts whi l e tel l i ng an exci ti ng story to someone or when
someone i s tel l i ng you about somethi ng that made them happy. The smi l e rei nf orces the
emoti onal peak. You can use a l i ght touch on the arm to achi eve the same thi ng.
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Here are a coupl e of exampl es where the l i ght touch coul d be used whi l e you are
sayi ng thi ngs to her, i ndi cated i n square brackets []:
Oh my God, I have to tel l you about somethi ng that happened to me today. I t
was crazy! [ touch]
I know that not everyone woul d make the deci si on that I made. I f eel l i ke there
were a l ot of peopl e that advi sed me agai nst taki ng the ri sk. Honestl y though
[ touch] , I m gl ad I di d because I ve never been happi er.
Sarah, I thi nk i ts i ncredi bl e how passi onate you are about l i f e. I l ove that about
you [ touch] .
Fri endl y Touch
Fri endl y Touch, such as cheek ki ssi ng or huggi ng, i s best used when youve establ i shed
some l evel of Comf ort wi th a woman.
Thi s mi ght not happen wi thi n the f i rst f i ve mi nutes of meeti ng her, but thats a not a prob-
l em. When you go on a date wi th her, you can start Soci al Touch agai n and then progress
i nto Fri endl y Touch soon af ter that.
I n some cases, you wi l l get al ong so wel l wi th a woman as soon as you meet her that i t
mi ght f eel more natural to gi ve her a hug goodbye or otherwi se use some ki nd of Fri endl y
Touch. Thats f i ne, but dont go overboard wi th i t ( otherwi se youl l come off as creepy) .
I f youre unsure, i ts best to j ust wai t unti l you get her on a date.
Romant i c Touch
Romanti c Touch, such as stroki ng her hai r or hol di ng hands, shoul d general l y be used
when youre on a date wi th a woman or somewhere pri vate.
I n some cases duri ng a dayti me approach, a woman wi l l al l ow you to do these thi ngs
and maybe even ki ss her on the l i ps but thi s can someti mes hurt your chances of
sl eepi ng wi th her l ater on, especi al l y i f you havent bui l t much Comf ort wi th her yet. So
f or the most part, i ts saf est to wai t unti l youre on a date wi th her to use Romanti c Touch.
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When youre on the date, try to si t next to her on a couch or some ki nd of conti nuous
seati ng arrangement i nstead of on separate chai rs. Def i ni tel y try to avoi d si tti ng across a
tabl e f rom her. You want to be physi cal l y cl ose to her, and be abl e to i ncrease that cl ose-
ness as you tal k more wi thout i t bei ng awkward.
Start gentl y wi th a f ew l i ngeri ng touches on her hands or arms, and then gradual l y hol d
your touches f or a l i ttl e l onger each ti me. I f theres no resi stance or f l i nchi ng on her part,
progress to touchi ng the ti ps of her hai r or stroki ng a l i ttl e bi t of i t back over her ear.
I f you get to thi s poi nt wi th a woman and theres sti l l no resi stance, she i s most l i kel y
thi nki ng about ki ssi ng you. Move i n sl owl y; i f she doesnt move back or f l i nch, go i n to
ki ss her on the l i ps.
However, dont ki ss her f or too l ong. Pul l back soon af ter and keep tal ki ng. I f you make
out wi th her f or a l ong ti me, i t di ssi pates the sexual tensi on and she wont be as exci ted
about comi ng home wi th you when you try to l ogi sti cal l y progress thi ngs. Someti mes, you
can get a woman to come back to your pl ace wi thout even havi ng ki ssed her on the date.
has an excel l ent chapter that goes i nto more detai l on the best ways to
ki ss a woman and the pi tf al l s to avoi d i f youre not experi enced wi th ki ssi ng women, I
hi ghl y recommend i t.
Sexual Touchi ng
Sexual Touchi ng ( whi ch i ncl udes anythi ng beyond ki ssi ng) shoul d onl y begi n when you
are somewhere pri vate wi th a woman.
From here on i n, i t i s about getti ng her tur ned on wi th your abi l i ty to sti mul ate her physi -
cal l y, taki ng each others cl othes off and becomi ng f ul l y i nti mate.
Remember that i ts sti l l your responsi bi l i ty to l ead and progress thi ngs. Dont wai t f or her
to take her cl othes off or suggest you have sex. Start by touchi ng her more i nti matel y; f or
exampl e, ki ssi ng her more passi onatel y and touchi ng her breasts or rubbi ng her thi ghs.
As she gets more tur ned on, you can start to take her cl othes and yours off . Thi s i s not
a sex manual , so youre on your own f rom thi s poi nt!
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CHAPTER SUMMARY
Tryi ng to progress thi ngs wi th a woman rarel y decreases her Attracti on f or you,
but can of ten i ncrease i t.
There are f our stages of Physi cal Progressi on: Soci al Touch, Fri endl y Touch,
Romanti c Touch and Sexual Touch. I n the i ni ti al dayti me approach, you onl y
real l y need to f ocus on Soci al Touch.
Once you are on a date wi th a woman, you can do more Fri endl y Touch and
possi bl y some Romanti c Touch.
When you are i n a pl ace where you can sl eep together ( typi cal l y your pl ace or
her pl ace) , you can do more Romanti c Touch and begi n Sexual Touch.
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CHAPTER 12
LOGI STI CAL PROGRESSI ON
CHAPTER OUTLI NE
What i s Logi sti cal Progressi on?
Logi sti cal Progressi on i n Dayti me Dati ng
Tradi ti onal Dates
I nstant Dates
WHAT I S LOGI STI CAL PROGRESSI ON?
Logi sti cal Progressi on descri bes the pl anni ng, executi on and control of movi ng f rom
pl ace to pl ace whi l e you are wi th a woman. Remember how physi cal l y, she wants thi ngs
to progress smoothl y f rom one step to another? I t i s the same wi th how you progress
thi ngs l ogi sti cal l y.
I t woul d be a l arge j ump to expect her to go f rom havi ng met you on the street i n the
af ter noon, to comi ng back to your pl ace thi rty mi nutes l ater ( though i t i s not i mpossi bl e) .
More l i kel y, there woul d be a seri es of smal l er Logi sti cal Progressi on steps i n between to
make the process smoother.
LOGI STI CAL PROGRESSI ON I N DAYTI ME DATI NG
The major difference for Logistical Progression between daytime dating and meeting
women at night is:
Women are l ess l i kel y to be l ogi sti cal l y avai l abl e i mmedi atel y.
When you meet a woman i n a bar or ni ghtcl ub, i f you know what youre doi ng you have a
reasonabl e chance of taki ng her home that ni ght. I n the dayti me, i ts l ess l i kel y shel l be
avai l abl e to come home wi th you i n that i nstance. Chances are she wi l l have stuff to do
soon af ter you approach her or otherwi se have pl ans f or the rest of the af ter noon. So i n
many cases, you wi l l have to set up a date f or a l ater ti me and take her phone number.
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There are two maj or opti ons f or Logi sti cal Progressi on i n dayti me dati ng: Tradi ti onal
Dates and I nstant Dates. Lets take a l ook at both of these i n more detai l .
TRADI TI ONAL DATES
The f act i s that a l ot of the women you tal k to i n the dayti me wi l l be busy shoppi ng,
runni ng errands, on thei r way to meet peopl e and so f orth. I t woul d be great i f you are
getti ng al ong wi th a woman to be abl e to spend ti me wi th her strai ghtaway, but i t wont
al ways happen.
A l ot of the ti me, theref ore, you wi l l need to arrange to meet her another ti me and take
her contact detai l s. The phone number i s not the goal here; setti ng up the date i s the
goal .
I deal l y, you want to see her i n an eveni ng someti me soon so you can tal k more over
dri nks. Meeti ng f or dri nks i n the eveni ng i s a good l ow-ri sk date that al l ows i nti macy to
devel op. Di nner i s too i ntense f or a f i rst date f or a l ot of peopl e, and thi ngs l i ke movi es
dont al l ow you to f ocus on the conversati onal aspect of the date ( i .e. Emoti onal Progres-
si on) .
So i f youve approached a woman i n the dayti me and had a good conversati on f or a f ew
mi nutes one i n whi ch youve bui l t some Attracti on and Qual i f i cati on then ask her i f
shed l i ke to tal k more over a dri nk. The emphasi s shoul d be on the two of you tal ki ng
more, rather than you taki ng her out or buyi ng her di nner.
The easi est way to ask a woman out i s to use some Qual i f i cati on and then f ol l ow i t wi th
a l ogi sti cal suggesti on. For exampl e:
I ve real l y enj oyed tal ki ng to you f or the l ast f ew mi nutes. How woul d you f eel
about grabbi ng a dri nk someti me and f i ndi ng out more about each other?
I ts great that youre i nto [ some topi c that youve di scussed wi th her and both
enj oyed] . I d l ove to tal k to you more someti me. How do you f eel about a coff ee
or a dri nk someti me soon?
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I thi nk youre the sort of person I coul d cl i ck pretty wel l wi th. I f youre f ree some
ti me thi s week, woul d you l i ke to tal k more over a dri nk?
I f she agrees, then set up a rough ti me and pl ace to meet her. The sooner the better, so
i f shes f ree that eveni ng, thats i deal . I f not, see how avai l abl e she i s over the next f ew
ni ghts. Then take her phone number so you can conf i rm agai n wi th her cl oser to the ti me.
I f I sense that she mi ght not be comf ortabl e or attracted enough yet when I ask her out,
I mi ght suggest a coff ee or a dri nk rather than j ust suggesti ng a dri nk, to see what she
bi tes on. Some women you meet mi ght not accept a dri nk af ter a short conversati on wi th
you, but mi ght agree to a coff ee as i ts l ess i nvestment on thei r part.
I f she decl i nes, then thank her f or the conversati on and move on. I ts real l y that si mpl e.
To be successf ul wi th women, you need to real i se that someti mes a woman wi l l j ust not
be i nto you, or wi l l be i nto you but not avai l abl e to meet wi th you ( perhaps she has a boy-
f ri end or perhaps she real l y i s too busy ri ght now) . There are pl enty of women out there,
so dont f ocus on converti ng everyone who tur ns you down; i nstead, f i nd the women that
do want to date you.
I NSTANT DATES
An I nstant Date i s when you try to spend more ti me wi th a woman very soon af ter meet-
i ng her, i nstead of a Tradi ti onal Date where you arrange to meet agai n another ti me. An
I nstant Date coul d mean wal ki ng down the street together f or a whi l e, stoppi ng f or cof -
f ee, headi ng to a bar nearby or even goi ng back to your pl ace.
I nstant Dates are great i f you both have ti me to do that when you meet. They work real l y
wel l wi th approaches done i n the earl y eveni ng, when women are more l i kel y to be abl e
to come to a bar wi th you strai ghtaway, or wi th women who have the day off f rom work
or are on hol i day.
The i mportant thi ngs to bear i n mi nd for Instant Dati ng are:
Ask l ogi sti cal questi ons l i ke, What are you doi ng today? and What are your
pl ans f or toni ght? to establ i sh her avai l abi l i ty. The f i rmer her exi sti ng pl ans, the
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l ess l i kel y i t i s she can spend ti me wi th you strai ghtaway.
Make your l ogi sti cal progressi on steps as smal l and l i near as possi bl e.
Movi ng f rom a coff ee shop to your pl ace an hour away i s a bi g j ump, but coff ee,
a bar a f ew mi nutes away, a cab ri de to a restaurant, and f i nal l y a f i ve-mi nute
wal k back to your pl ace i s a seri es of smal l er, l i near steps.
Make i t seem l i ke a spontaneous adventure. I t shoul dnt f eel l i ke you have a
pre-pl anned game pl an that you normal l y take women through. The way to
avoi d thi s i s to genui nel y avoi d havi ng a set l ogi sti cal pl an that you al ways use.
Be creati ve and do thi ngs that you enj oy i nstead of tryi ng to create the perf ect
l ogi sti cal sequence. I f you f eel l i ke vi si ti ng a certai n pl ace that you thi nk wi l l be
f un f or both of you, go f or i t.
When you suggest movi ng somewhere, show some Qual i f i cati on of your i nteracti on so
f ar and suggest a smal l next step so that you can get to know each other better. On the
bi g steps ( f or exampl e, comi ng back to your pl ace) , i t can be a good i dea to i ncl ude an
out f or her so she doesnt f eel pressured. For exampl e, i f you i nvi te her back to your
pl ace, you can tel l her youl l cal l a cab f or her i f i t gets l ate or that youl l wal k her back
to a bus or trai n stop.
Here are some exampl es of thi ngs to say to progress thi ngs l ogi sti cal l y:
I m real l y enj oyi ng thi s conversati on wi th you. Whi ch way are you headed? I l l
wal k wi th you f or a f ew mi nutes so we can f i nd out some more about each other.
You seem l i ke a real l y cool person. What are you doi ng ri ght now? Nothi ng? How
do you feel about grabbi ng a qui ck cup of coffee and tal ki ng some more? Theres
a pl ace ri ght around the cor ner.
I cant bel i eve I j ust met you an hour ago and here we are dri nki ng coff ee. I f eel
l i ke you and have so much i n common. Do you have anywhere you need to be?
No? Lets go grab a dri nk f or a bi t theres a real l y cool bar near here I know.
I have bottl e of wi ne back at my pl ace. Do you want to come f or a gl ass? I can
wal k you back to the trai n stati on af terwards.
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CHAPTER SUMMARY
Af ter meeti ng a woman f or f i ve mi nutes i n the dayti me, you can ei ther ask her
out on a Tradi ti onal Date, or go f or an I nstant Date. I nstant Dates wi l l onl y work
when you both have l ots of ti me to spend wi th each other ri ght there and then,
so i n a l ot of cases you wi l l end up goi ng f or Tradi ti onal Dates.
Set up a Tradi ti onal Date f or an eveni ng wi thi n the next coupl e of days i deal l y.
Arrange to meet at a bar and have dri nks together. Avoi d di nner, movi es or any
other date i deas peopl e have tol d you.

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CHAPTER 13
CASE STUDI ES
Now that you understand how to emoti onal l y, physi cal l y, and l ogi sti cal l y progress thi ngs
wi th a woman you meet i n the dayti me, l ets l ook at some case studi es that put al l thi s
i nf ormati on together.
Read the f ol l owi ng two stori es, tol d f rom both the mal e and f emal e perspecti ve and try to
pi ck out the el ements youve l ear ned f rom thi s book wi thi n them. Both of these are the
sort of thi ngs that wi l l happen to you i f you practi ce everythi ng taught to you i n thi s book
( they are both based on typi cal si tuati ons I ve experi enced) .
Af ter that, I ve i ncl uded one of my personal stori es and a dayti me dati ng adventure f rom
a f ri end of mi ne.
Enj oy.
John and Sarah Johns Story
I met Sarah on the street she was wal ki ng past me and i t turns out she was on her way
to meet some f ri ends f or l unch. She was so capti vati ng that I had to stop her and f i nd
out some more about her. We ended up havi ng a real l y i nteresti ng conversati on about
her travel l i ng to Spai n to become a chef and a f ew other thi ngs. I t struck me that here
was a woman who was beauti f ul , ambi ti ous, i ndependent and passi onate about thi ngs i n
her l i f e. Thats my ki nd of woman and I knew that she was worth getti ng to know better.
Af ter tal ki ng f or about ten mi nutes, i t seemed l i ke she was eager to end the conversati on
- suddenl y I remembered that she had sai d she was on her way to have l unch wi th her
f ri ends. She was i n a rush, so rather than conti nue tal ki ng to her, I tol d her that I thought
she was i nteresti ng and that I d l ove to get a cof f ee or dri nk wi th her someti me. She l i ked
the i dea and tol d me that she was f ree f or a dri nk tomorrow ni ght. That worked f or my
schedul e, so we swapped numbers and I tol d her I d text her l ater on. I texted l ater that
eveni ng, Any other charmi ng strangers stop you on the street today? ;-) Looki ng f orward
to dri nks tomorrow, to tease her a l i ttl e and make her thi nk about me l ater on i n the day.
We met up the next ni ght at a great bar near my pl ace and got al ong f amousl y. We shared
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a bottl e of wi ne and then I took her to another bar where I know the manager. I chat-
ted wi th hi m a bi t and then got us some more dri nks. As I l i stened to Sarah tal ki ng and
l ooked at her, I real i zed that I wanted to sl eep wi th her. She was real l y sweet and f unny;
she opened up to me about the thi ngs she wanted to do i n l i f e and what was i mportant
to her i n the peopl e she met.
She total l y met my standards f or a hi gh qual i ty woman, so I i nvi ted her back to my pl ace
f or a cup of cof f ee and tol d her I d cal l her a cab l ater on. She never needed the cab and
stayed the ni ght wi th me.
John and Sarah Sarahs Story
I was rushi ng to meet my gi rl f ri ends f or l unch when I f el t someone tap me on the arm
and say, Excuse me. I turned around and there was a guy standi ng there l ooki ng at
me wi th hi s eyes wi de open, as i f hed j ust seen somethi ng amazi ng. He sai d somethi ng
about how he l oved my outf i t and the way I wal ked. I was real l y surpri sed I ve al most
never had a guy ( especi al l y a wel l -dressed cute guy l i ke thi s one) stop me on the street
l i ke that.
He started aski ng me questi ons about what I di d and what sort of thi ngs I was i nto. He
was real l y rel axed and conf i dent, whi ch made me comf ortabl e enough to tel l hi m a bi t
more about mysel f . I t was strange: even though he sai d I was attracti ve, i t was l i ke he
was tr yi ng to f i gure out whether he l i ked me or not. Most guys normal l y j ust hi t on me
outri ght, especi al l y i n ni ghtcl ubs, and then tr y to i mpress me by tel l i ng me how good thei r
j ob i s or how much money they earn.
I di dnt actual l y f i nd out that much about hi m i n those f i rst f ew mi nutes. He had a won-
derf ul way of maki ng me l augh, bei ng conf i dent and tal ki ng general l y about thi ngs that i t
di dnt even cross my mi nd to ask hi m what he di d f or a l i vi ng, whether he was si ngl e, or
whatever el se. I j ust f el t drawn to hi m by hi s presence.
I real l y had to get goi ng, so we tal ked bri ef l y about a date and he took my number. I real l y
di dnt know what to expect of i t af ter that. For al l I knew, he was a pl ayer and di d thi s al l
the ti me. I thought he probabl y wasnt goi ng to cal l me. Then I got thi s f unny text f rom
hi m that eveni ng that made me smi l e, and I started l ooki ng f orward to seei ng hi m agai n.
When we went out f or dri nks the next ni ght, he was j ust as i nteresti ng and charmi ng as he
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was when I f i rst met hi m, even more so i n f act. I coul d tel l he was a guy who had choi ce
and f reedom i n hi s l i f e, and i t f l attered me that he thought so hi ghl y of me he kept on
sayi ng the most i ntui ti ve and compl i mentar y thi ngs about me.
I got real l y attracted to hi m and was hopi ng hed ask me to come back to hi s pl ace. I
di dnt want to f eel l i ke a sl ut though, so I was real l y gratef ul when he suggested that we
j ust have a qui ck cof f ee and then hed cal l me a cab. When we were on hi s couch, I coul d
f eel al l the sexual tensi on bubbl i ng up f rom the past f ew hours. He was tal ki ng to me but
I j ust kept l ooki ng at hi s l i ps and hopi ng hed ki ss me. Then he reached over and touched
my hai r a l i ttl e bi t. I t al most gave me goose pi mpl es.
Fi nal l y, he l eaned over and we ki ssed, sof tl y and gentl y at f i rst. Then he took my hand
and we went to hi s bedroom, where I spent the ni ght. I d l i ke to see hi m agai n, but hon-
estl y i f he di dnt cal l me, I woul dnt be upset. I ve never had a date as good as that and
he was an amazi ng l over.
Ravi and Anna Ravi s Story
I met Anna i n the bookstore. I was browsi ng the cooker y secti on when I saw her on the
other si de next to the travel books. She l ooked l i ke an angel , so I went over and pai d her
a compl i ment on her hai r. She was real l y easy goi ng and we started chatti ng about where
she was f rom i t turns out she had recentl y moved here f rom Norway.
We tal ked a bi t about movi ng to di f f erent countri es, how she was enj oyi ng London, and
what the di f f erences between Norwegi an and Engl i sh men were. I t was hi l ari ous: she tol d
me that a Norwegi an guy woul d never come up to her l i ke I di d. I teased her and tol d her
I onl y approached her because I saw her checki ng me out, and that I bet she comes to
bookstores al l the ti me to pi ck up guys.
She tol d me she was j ust browsi ng gui debooks f or London and doi ng a l i ttl e shoppi ng to-
day; she had pl ans l ater toni ght though. I was enj oyi ng tal ki ng to her she had a beauty
that I hadnt seen i n a whi l e, and she was conf i dent and i ntel l i gent. So I tol d her to come
over and hel p me choose a good cookbook f rom the other secti on of the store.
We started havi ng some f un wi th i t. I tol d her I was a worl d-cl ass chef and that i f she was
a good gi rl , she coul d be my sous chef . We were havi ng such a good ti me that I sug-
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gested that we take a wal k and that she di dnt need a London gui debook because she
had me now.
We went f or a wal k around the ci ty and I showed her a coupl e of the cool thi ngs I l i ke i n
London. Wed stop of f f or cof f ee or f ood ever y now and then and I got to f i nd out a l ot
more about her. Asi de f rom bei ng i ncredi bl y sexy, she was al so arti sti c, smart and real l y
open-mi nded def i ni tel y my ki nd of woman.
I t was starti ng to get towards eveni ng ti me and I remembered that she had pl ans l ater
toni ght. So I suggested a qui ck dri nk at a great bar I know that was real l y cl ose to my
pl ace. I kept on j oki ng wi th her that she had to sampl e my cooki ng and then sai d at the
ver y l east she had to tr y one of my beauti f ul cups of cof f ee.
Af ter the bar, we went back to my pl ace and starti ng maki ng out l i ke crazy once we got
i nsi de. She suddenl y got col d f eet and tol d me, I cant do thi s, I barel y know you. I re-
al i zed that maybe I had moved too f ast. So I tol d her i t was cool and that we coul d j ust
tal k f or a whi l e.
We sat on my bed and she started openi ng up to me that shed never done thi s sort of
thi ng bef ore and that a l ot of her previ ous boyf ri ends were successf ul guys but were re-
al l y needy. I empathi zed wi th her and tol d her i t was hard to f i nd good, conf i dent and
secure peopl e and that was one of the reasons why I l i ked her so much.
Twenty mi nutes l ater she started ki ssi ng me agai n and then reached f or my trousers. We
had i ntense and passi onate sex bef ore her phone started ri ngi ng of f the hook I guess
i t was her f ri ends cal l i ng her.
Af terwards, she l ef t wi th a huge smi l e on her f ace and rushed out to go meet her f ri ends.
I def i ni tel y want to see her agai n.
Ravi and Anna Annas Story
Today was crazy. Some guy started tal ki ng to me i n the bookstore and I ended up havi ng
sex wi th hi m. I sti l l dont know exactl y how i t happened one thi ng j ust seemed to l ead
to another.
I was standi ng i n the travel secti on when he j ust came up to me, tol d me he l i ked my hai r
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and started tal ki ng wi th me. He had thi s amazi ng conf i dence and a great sense of humor.
He kept on messi ng around wi th me pretendi ng he was a worl d f amous chef ; i t was pretty
f unny. But he al so seemed to be an al l -round i nteresti ng guy wi th l ots goi ng on i n hi s l i f e.
I l i ke that i n a man: he has to be dri ven and have thi ngs that are i mportant to hi m beyond
j ust a gi rl f ri end or a woman. A l ot of my boyf ri ends i n the past have been so needy.
One moment we were i n the bookstore, the next he was taki ng me on a tour of London.
I t was so much f un! He showed me l ots of thi ngs I ve never seen bef ore and took me to
thi s cool l i ttl e bar. I started to f eel so attracted to hi m, but wasnt sure what was goi ng
to happen. I dont normal l y sl eep wi th guys on the f i rst date, l et al one a guy I j ust met i n
the bookstore! But there was somethi ng so charmi ng and f un-l ovi ng about hi m that made
me f eel comf ortabl e bei ng wi th hi m. He was cl earl y a guy who took ri sks i n hi s l i f e, and I
guess that made me want to take a ri sk as wel l .
I agreed to come to hi s pl ace f or a cup of cof f ee. I thought i f he started bei ng creepy or
needy, I woul d j ust l eave. I real l y wanted to ki ss hi m and we started maki ng out when we
got i nsi de. But then I started to f eel uncomf ortabl e so I stopped hi m.
Was thi s common f or hi m? Di d he do i t al l the ti me? I di dnt want to be j ust another gi rl
he had sex wi th. He sai d he was okay f or us to j ust tal k and he seemed to be a great
l i stener. I tol d hi m about my previ ous boyf ri ends and why I di dnt l i ke them. Just f rom the
way he was l i steni ng and the thi ngs he sai d to me I coul d tel l he wasnt l i ke any of those
guys: I knew he wanted to sl eep wi th me, but he di dnt seem to mi nd i f i t di dnt happen.
That turned me on so much and I knew I wanted hi m i n that i nstant. I was l ate to di n-
ner wi th the gi rl s i n the end, but i t was wel l worth i t! I l ef t hi m my number and I hope he
cal l s. He seemed l i ke the ki nd of guy that i snt l ooki ng f or a gi rl f ri end, but I d be happy
to j ust be f ri ends or keep i t casual f or a whi l e. I m not real l y l ooki ng f or a boyf ri end ri ght
now ei ther.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
139
The Spani sh Brunette Jeremy Soul s Story
I was crui si ng the streets wi th a good f ri end of mi ne, tal ki ng but keepi ng an eye out f or
beauti f ul gi rl s. I had al ready tal ked wi th a f ew gi rl s that af ter noon, and gotten a f ew num-
bers, but I wanted to meet someone real l y beauti f ul that I coul d spend some ti me wi th
that day.
I noti ced two gi rl s qui ckl y wal k past us, a tal l , sl i m brunette, and a short, not-so-hot
bl onde gi rl . I l ooked back at them as they passed me, so I coul d get a good l ook.
The brunette gi rl tur ned her head, and l ooked back at me. She was stunni ngl y beauti f ul . I
stopped, and hel d her gaze f or a f ew seconds. She l ooked sl i ghtl y conf used, so I waved
back to her i n a f ri endl y and sl i ghtl y cheeky way. She l ooked even more conf used, and
they kept on wal ki ng.
I ts moments l i ke thi s that def i ne the ki nd of l i f e you l ead. There are two types of guy i n
the worl d. The f i rst type wi l l l et hi s emoti ons, i n parti cul ar, f ear, control hi s acti ons. Thi s
i s a guy who does not take ri sks, and wi l l theref ore never achi eve the ki nd of success he
wants i n l i f e.
The second type f eel s the f ear i n exactl y the same way, but i s wi l l i ng to take acti on i n
spi te of how he f eel s i nsi de. He i s a ri sk taker, and real i zes that he needs to chal l enge
the unknown i n order to get what he wants f rom l i f e. Hi s mi nd may want to make certai n
assumpti ons about si tuati ons f or exampl e, That gi rl i s out of my l eague but he wi l l
chal l enge al l negati ve assumpti ons wi th hi s acti on rather than al l ow them to di ctate hi s
acti ons.
I di dnt know what thi s beauti f ul woman was thi nki ng when she l ooked back at me. She
mi ght have thought she recogni zed me, she mi ght have thought I was cute, or she mi ght
have thought, Wow, that guy i s ugl y! I had no i dea, but I wasnt goi ng to l et her pass
me by wi thout f i ndi ng out.
I ran back towards the two gi rl s, tapped them both on the shoul der, and sai d to the beau-
ti f ul brunette,
Excuse me, I j ust saw you wal ki ng past and you are so beauti f ul that I had to come over
DAYTI ME DATI NG
140
and say hel l o. I coul dnt j ust l et you wal k past!
Then I tur ned to the not-so-good l ooki ng f ri end, and sai d, You are very l ovel y too, but I
have a thi ng f or tal l brunettes!
I t took me a l ong ti me to be abl e to say sentences l i ke thi s wi th conf i dence and to make
them work. Bel i eve me, sayi ng thi s sort of stuff to random women on the street does take
guts, but that i s exactl y what women f i nd so attracti ve about i t. I n thi s case, I al so had
to pay some attenti on to the f ri end, so that I woul dnt make the soci al si tuati on awkward.
Al so, I wanted the f ri end to thi nk I was cool and i nteresti ng, so that she coul d say, Hes
cool , to her f ri end l ater on.
Both gi rl s had stopped wal ki ng and tur ned to f ace me. Thi s was the f i rst posi ti ve si gnal .
They were al l owi ng me to i nteract wi th them. I f they hadnt stopped and j ust i gnored
me and carri ed on, I woul d have gone and tal ked to some other gi rl s. Some guys try to
convi nce gi rl s to l i ke them af ter they have cl earl y shown theyre not i nterested. Thi s i s a
waste of your ti me that coul d be better spent f i ndi ng gi rl s that do l i ke you.
I asked them what they were doi ng today and made smal l tal k f or a f ew seconds. Then
I tol d the beauti f ul gi rl agai n that she was beauti f ul , had l ovel y hai r, and was dressed so
el egantl y that I coul dnt hel p but noti ce her. I al so teased her by accusi ng her of l ooki ng
at me when I wal ked past because she thought I was cute.
She deni ed i t, and sai d she thought she recogni zed me. I tol d her wi th a wi nk and a smi l e
that she was a good l i ar. Everythi ng I sai d, I sai d wi th a smi l e on my f ace. My goal was
j ust to make her gi ggl e a f ew ti mes. Once I coul d do that, I knew she woul d f eel comf ort-
abl e around me and start to l i ke me.
I tal ked about what I was doi ng out wi th my f ri end that day, what I di d i n London, and
about the ki nds of peopl e that I l i ked to meet. Most guys are af rai d to tal k about them-
sel ves when they meet gi rl s. Women make them nervous and al l they can thi nk to do i s
ask l ots of questi ons. Screw that! To get women attracted to you, you have to l ead an
i nteresti ng l i f e and be wi l l i ng to tal k about i t.
I tal ked to them f or a f ew mi nutes, and then sai d, Hey, I have to go, but I woul d real l y
l i ke to speak wi th you some more, at whi ch poi nt she enthusi asti cal l y sai d, You shoul d
take my number!
DAYTI ME DATI NG
141
As she put her number i nto my phone, I made a f ew more j okes wi th the bl onde f ri end. I
tol d her that the brunette was very good at thi s, and I bet she does thi s al l the ti me. The
brunette started gi ggl i ng agai n, and sai d, Youre crazy, but I l i ke i t.
I tol d her we shoul d meet up toni ght so we can get to know each other better, and she
smi l ed and sai d, Yes, cal l me!
Thi s was on. I coul d tel l thi s was goi ng to be a sol i d date. I texted a coupl e of hours l ater
sayi ng, Hey beauti f ul , great to meet you earl i er today i n the street. Lets go out f or dri nks
toni ght, can you meet me at [ easy meeti ng poi nt i n town] at X ti me?
She repl i ed and agreed to meet up. I met her at 11pm that ni ght and gave her a hug as
we met. I suggested that we coul d go out to a bar l ater, but that I had some wi ne i n my
apartment that we coul d dri nk bef ore goi ng out. She sai d, Good i dea.
At thi s poi nt, I f el t she was so attracted to me that I di dnt even need to take her out to
a bar. I j ust needed to get her to my pl ace so I coul d seduce her. However, I tol d her,
Wel l go out to a bar l ater, to reassure her so that i f she f el t uncomf ortabl e, we woul d
sti l l have that opti on.
We get i n a taxi and head back to my pl ace. Once there, I pour her some wi ne, tal k and
get to know her f or about twenty mi nutes. I then ki ss her and l ead her by the hand i nto
my bedroom.
We make l ove, and I l i e next to her and get to know her some more af terwards. I f you
want to see a woman agai n, you have to make sure she f eel s saf e, comf ortabl e and ap-
preci ated af ter youve had sex f or the f i rst ti me.
She i s probabl y one of the most beauti f ul and charmi ng women I have ever met i n my l i f e,
and i t al l happened because I deci ded to take a chance when I saw her wal k past me that
day. You never know what coul d happen unti l you try.
Jeremy Soul
DAYTI ME DATI NG
142
Ai rport Pi ck Up Lekos Story
I have to admi t that I was one of those guys f or whi ch day game seemed i mpossi bl e.
Even af ter a l ong ti me i n the dati ng communi ty and a good l evel of experti se, 100% of my
cl oses came f rom the ni ghtti me, i n bars and cl ubs.
I j ust wasnt abl e to gather the courage to speak to a gi rl duri ng the day. I n f act, i t was
l i ke a tri p back i n ti me to my chump days. I coul dnt thi nk of thi ngs to say, thus I di dnt
approach. I was a cl assi c werewol f : f earsome and i rresi sti bl e at ni ght, but a pl ai n, ti mi d
man duri ng the day.
I had met Soul on a i n Stockhol m. We cl i cked i nstantl y and I vi si ted hi m one
ni ght i n London. We went to a cl ub and both scored, but he had met hi s gi rl duri ng the
day and I met mi ne at ni ght. I t was the second ti me I had seen hi m take home a gi rl hed
met some hours bef ore but I had never seen the actual procedure.
Then, he came to Barcel ona to repay me the vi si t. He arri ved wi th a f ri end and we were
al l starvi ng, so we went to eat a pi zza. What f ol l owed has never ceased to astoni sh me.
We took f orty mi nutes to wal k the f i ve bl ocks f rom my pl ace to the restaurant. Every ti me
we saw a beauti f ul gi rl , Soul di sappeared and went to tal k to her i n l ess ti me than i t takes
to thi nk, Wow, that chi ck i s hot, I shoul d tal k to her!
He number cl osed f i ve of them. I t was more than the total number I opened duri ng the
day i n my whol e l i f e! Thats when my actual day game i ni ti ati on started. I pi cked hi s
brai n merci l essl y and caref ul l y watched every approach he made. And he was a f antasti c
teacher, shari ng hi s knowl edge and expl ai ni ng to me every step of hi s theory. I woul d
never stop bei ng gratef ul to hi m f or that.
Fast f orward one year. I had sti l l pi cked up most of my gi rl s at ni ght. I ts my speci al ty,
af ter al l . But my game was much more bal anced. And I had tested Soul s techni ques
dozens of ti mes i n the f i el d wi th f antasti c success. I even adapted them to sui t my styl e.
That summer I went to London and went dayti me approachi ng wi th hi m agai n. He sti l l
was the best of the best, but thi s ti me I wasnt that f ar behi nd.
Onl y some weeks l ater I went to Vi enna on hol i day f or a coupl e of days. I went to Buda-
pest to party and then back to Barcel ona on a f l i ght that departed at 6am. I was abso-
DAYTI ME DATI NG
143
l utel y knackered. When I got on the pl ane al l I wanted was to get to my seat and sl eep. I
al ways si t i n the back of pl anes, because they are usual l y empti er and I can see i f there
are any hot gi rl s on my way there. Thi s ti me, I saw one i n one of the f ront rows and
thought, Wow, shes cute. But I was too ti red, so I went back and sl ept f or the whol e
two hours.
When we l anded, the gi rl wal ked past by agai n. Fuck, she wasnt j ust cute, she was one
of the hottest gi rl s I ve ever seen. She was 6 f eet tal l wi th model l ooks. A 10. I sat i n
f ront of her i n the shuttl e to the ai rport and thought, I def i ni tel y have to tal k to thi s gi rl .
But I coul dnt do i t ri ght away. There were too many peopl e around whi ch made the si tu-
ati on too hi gh-pressured. And I knew she wasnt goi ng anywhere anyway. So I wai ted f or
her to pi ck up her l uggage and deci ded to approach af ter she crossed the door to the
ai rport hal l way.
I never real i zed that was a bi g mi stake. What i f there was someone wai ti ng f or her? The
pi ck-up gods smi l ed at me thi s ti me though: she crossed the hal l by hersel f . ( Funni l y, i t
was she who poi nted thi s out to me some days l ater) . So I rushed to her, steadi ed mysel f
bef ore openi ng and sai d the trademark phrase, Excuse me, I usual l y don t do thi s but I
thought you were super sexy and wanted to tal k to you.
Usual l y, they l augh and say thank you. I n thi s case her answer was, Ok, i s that i t? Bang!
That took me out of the scri pt. That made me f umbl e my next l i ne but f ortunatel y al l the
practi ce I had hel ped me recover. Di sregardi ng what she j ust sai d, I kept on goi ng wi th
my openi ng. Ermm.. but i ts not j ust that, youre real l y tal l and have a f antasti c styl e, you
have to be a model .
She wasnt, but that l i ne i s gol d. Every gi rl wi l l be f l attered wi th that compari son and
then she gave me a break. She asked me i f I spoke Spani sh, so I qui ckl y swi tched and I
started bui l di ng on that. Af ter f i ve mi nutes of conversati on I asked her i f she wanted to
have a coff ee wi th me ri ght then. I knew she had three hours to wai t f or her connecti on
so she woul dnt say no.
So, we were on an i nstant date. As i t usual l y happens i n these cases I tal ked, a l ot. But
l i ttl e by l i ttl e she started openi ng up and I di scovered a bri ght gi rl behi nd those astoni sh-
i ng l ooks. We tal ked about nothi ng and everythi ng and the ti me f l ew by. When she had to
DAYTI ME DATI NG
144
l eave I f el t there was a f antasti c chemi stry mounti ng, but wel l she had to l eave and my
cal i brati on sense tol d me I coul d j ust go f or a number and emai l cl ose at that moment.
So I sent her an emai l three days af ter that. No answer. No probl em. I had other gi rl s to
take care of and I knew I pl ayed good game; she woul d eventual l y l ook f or me. She di d
and af ter a week and a hal f . She had a l ayover of ni ne hours i n Barcel ona f or her f l i ght
back, and asked i f I wanted to show her the ni ght l i f e.
Of course I wanted to! We went out, had a f antasti c ni ght and ended up i n my bed. The
chemi stry was so good that I al most made her mi ss her f l i ght! Si nce that moment, we are
real l y cl ose. I f l y to Vi enna once every two months and she does the same to Barcel ona.
She came wi th me to New York and I wi l l j oi n her on a ski tri p. We have si nce deci ded to
go excl usi ve and, surpri si ngl y f or a guy whose had si x mul ti pl e rel ati onshi ps at one ti me,
I f eel real l y comf ortabl e wi th i t. And nothi ng of thi s woul d have had happened i f i t wasnt
f or Soul and hi s passi on f or day game. Cheers mate.
Leko

DAYTI ME DATI NG
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CONCLUSI ON
You now have enough i nf ormati on to meet and date al l the women you coul d ever want to
i n the dayti me. But unl ess you go out and actual l y practi ce what you have l ear ned, thi s
i s goi ng to be j ust another book that you read and store somewhere.
I ve met countl ess peopl e i n my ti me as a coach f or who knew al l the ri ght
i nf ormati on and what they had to do, but never actual l y di d i t.
Peopl e al ways ask successf ul men, How di d you become so successf ul ? The answer i s
hard work. The di ff erence between the successf ul and the unsuccessf ul i s that we have
the guts to try somethi ng, and then to keep tryi ng even when i t doesnt qui te work how
we had hoped the f i rst ti me. Eventual l y thi ngs start sl otti ng i nto pl ace, and bef ore you
know i t, you have the l i f estyl e and the women i n your l i f e that you once dreamed you
woul d have.
Fi nal l y, i f you need any more hel p, whether youre l ooki ng f or l i ve trai ni ng or any other
good resources, were al ways here at .
Hi t me up on wi th any comments or f eedback you have on the book.

DAYTI ME DATI NG
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APPENDI X

DAYTI ME DATI NG
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GLOSSARY
Approachi ng I ni ti ati ng a conversati on wi th a woman or group of women. Al so known as
openi ng or starti ng a conversati on.
An off i ci al Love Systems trai ni ng program consi sti ng of a weekend spent
wi th a cadre of i nter nati onal renowned dati ng coaches, whi ch teaches you ul ti mate con-
f i dence and competence i n tal ki ng to and seduci ng attracti ve women.
Cl ose Taki ng a phone number, ki ssi ng or sl eepi ng wi th a woman.
Col d approach Approachi ng a woman or group of women you dont know. The oppo-
si te of a warm approach whi ch i s an approach where you have al ready have some con-
necti on to the woman through your soci al ci rcl e.
Congruence Consi stency of behavi or wi th the i denti ty you portray. I f you di spl ay a par-
ti cul arl y personal i ty trai t ( f or exampl e, i ntegri ty) , congruence requi res that you act i n a
manner consi stent f or someone that has that trai t.
The practi ce of meeti ng women duri ng the dayti me.
Escal ate To progress an i nteracti on wi th a woman f urther. Usual l y ref ers to physi cal or
l ogi sti cal progressi on, but can al so ref er to emoti onal progessi on.
Frame The context or subtext of an i nteracti on. You can set f rames to i nteracti ons by
the manner i n whi ch you act, what you say and how you say i t. For exampl e, teasi ng a
woman you j ust met sets the f rame that you are comf ortabl e and conf i dent i n yoursel f .
Game A term f or the process of meeti ng and seduci ng women. Of ten used to ref er to
the book, The Game, by Nei l Strauss.
Openi ng I ni ti ati ng a conversati on wi th a woman or group of women. Al so known as ap-
proachi ng or starti ng a conversati on.
Pi ck up A sl ang term f or meeti ng and seduci ng women.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
148
A l i ne or pre-wri tten scri pt desi gned to el i ci t a speci f i c response f rom a woman
or to conti nue a conversati on wi th her. Routi nes can be hel pf ul when you have absol utel y
no i dea what to say to a woman i n order to devel op f undamental val ues, f or exampl e
conf i dence, i n your i nteracti ons.
Tri ad Model A systemati c model f or i nteracti ng wi th women i n a way that i s attracti ve,
based on three strands: emoti onal , physi cal and l ogi sti cal progressi on.
Val ue What makes someone or somethi ng desi rabl e.

DAYTI ME DATI NG
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RESOURCES
Thi s book i s a great tool , and wi l l provi de you wi th a strong f oundati on f or i mprovi ng your
ski l l s and bol steri ng your conf i dence wi th women. Wi th the knowl edge gl eaned f rom
these pages and l ots of practi ce, you wi l l see a marked i mprovement i n your i nteracti ons
wi th women.
However, not everythi ng can be taught i n one book. Some techni ques are hard to convey
on the wri tten page, and others are f ar too advanced f or general consumpti on. For that
reason, weve compi l ed a l i st of f urther resources that can hel p you achi eve even more.
I n general , these are the thi ngs you shoul d be consi deri ng for i mprovi ng your ski l l s
after readi ng thi s book:
1. An Overal l System
2. Routi nes a Foundati on
3. 21st Century Pi ckup Text and Phone Game
4. Workshops and Trai ni ng
5. Advanced Materi al
6. Keep up to Date
1. AN OVERALL SYSTEM - MAGI C BULLETS
The systems and techni ques i n thi s book were desi gned to be used wi th Magi c Bul l ets as
the f oundati on. Most of you have probabl y read Magi c Bul l ets, but i f you havent, head
over to the Magi c Bul l ets page ( ) and pi ck i t up ( or
downl oad the f ree chapters) .
Magi c Bul l ets i s the qui ntessenti al gui de to dati ng sci ence today, and i s the Love Sys-
tems bi bl e. I ts al so a l i vi ng book, i n that we are constantl y experi menti ng and pushi ng
the f ronti ers of knowl edge, and new di scoveri es get added to f uture versi ons of the book.
I f you bought a l egal copy of the book, these updated versi ons are sent to you, f or f ree,
automati cal l y.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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2. ROUTI NES A FOUNDATI ON
Magi c Bul l ets provi des the f ramework f or the enti re Love Systems structure, and i s the
f i rst step i n masteri ng dati ng sci ence. Lear ni ng advanced routi nes and tacti cs f or every
step of the i nteracti on i s the second step. Whi l e many of you are probabl y al ready f ami l i ar
wi th the Love Systems Routi nes Manual Vol ume 1, some may have mi ssed i t.
The Love Systems Routi nes Manual Vol ume 1 i s a comprehensi ve gui de to l ear ni ng and
masteri ng the use of routi nes. I t not onl y expl ai ns how and why routi nes work, but al so
provi des a compi l ati on of hundreds of the very best and most eff ecti ve openers, con-
versati on starters, and routi nes f rom al l of the top tal ent i n the worl d of dati ng sci ence
i ncl udi ng Savoy, The Don, Fader, Mr. M, Sheri ff , Braddock, Si nn, I N10SE, Tyl er Durden,
and more.
I f you want access to 200 pages of what has been cal l ed the most practi cal and i mme-
di atel y usef ul i nf ormati on on seduci ton aval i abl e anywhere, or you j ust need a ref resher
on the basi cs of routi nes, how to use them, and how to create your own, then check out
the Love Systems Routi nes Manual Vol ume 1 here (or downl oad the free chapters):
Love Systems was al so proud to rel ease the f ol l ow up book, Routi nes Manual Vol ume
2. Stuff ed wi th hundreds more advanced routi nes and techni ques that you can use ri ght
now, wi th thi s vol ume you wi l l never run out of thi ngs to say. Vol ume 2 al so i ncl udes bo-
nus chapters on Col d Reads, Pal m Readi ng, and much, much more. Check i t out, al ong
wi th free chapters you can downl oad ri ght now, here:
3. 21st CENTURY PI CKUP TEXT AND PHONE GAME
To put i t si mpl y, i f you dont have rock sol i d text and phone game these days, youre i n
troubl e. Women ( and men too) communi cate more than ever vi a mobi l e devi ces, and your
game has to adj ust accordi ngl y. Thankf ul l y, two of Love Systems most experi enced i n-
structors have put together the number one product on the subj ect. Braddock and Mr.
Ms Ul ti mate Gui de to Text and Phone Game teaches you the basi cs and provi des you
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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wi th dozens of scri pts that you can adapt to your l i f e f or guaranteed successf ul text and
phone game. Check i t out here:
4. WORKSHOPS AND TRAI NI NG
You can read about i t, see i t, and hear i t, but theres real l y no substi tute f or actual l y do-
i ng i t.
Li ve trai ni ng usual l y i nvol ves three thi ngs:
1. I ntensi ve cl assroom semi nars, wi th i ndi vi dual i zed f eedback on your f ashi on, i denti ty,
routi nes, and ri gorous dri l l s and exerci ses to practi ce openi ng and approachi ng, story-
tel l i ng, qual i f i cati on, and so on. You wi l l be prepared and ready to succeed f rom the f i rst
ni ght.
2. Approachi ng and attempti ng to seduce random beauti f ul women, over and over, any-
where f rom coff ee shops to bars. A prof essi onal dati ng coach wi l l watch and l i sten and
tel l you af ter each approach what you di d ri ght and wrong and how to i mprove f or the
next one. And youl l keep doi ng i t unti l you i mprove.
3. Watchi ng and l i steni ng to a master dati ng coach at work, as he demonstrates vari ous
techni ques and gi ves you behavi ors and strategi es to model . You can see how a master
dati ng coach can attract even the most unapproachabl e women - l i ve. Thi s i s i mportant.
I f you dont know what sol i d game real l y l ooks l i ke, i ts very hard to devel op i t f or yoursel f .
The Love Systems bootcamp ( ) i ncl ude 3 days of
semi nar work, 2 ni ghts of f i el d work ( where you and the i nstructors go out to meet and
practi ce on beauti f ul women) , and a money-back guarantee. The Love Systems Day
Game Workshop ( ) i ncl udes 8 hours of semi nar work, 8
hours of f i el d work, and the same money-back guarantee. The authors of thi s book, and
many of the contri butors to i t, are Love Systems i nstructors. These are the top dati ng
coaches and workshops avai l abl e today.
Love Systems al so off ers i ndi vi dual i zed or one-on-one trai ni ng (
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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) . Thi s i s more expensi ve, but may be more conveni ent f or some peopl e.
I ts easy to postpone attendi ng a workshop. Theyre not cheap and theyre not al ways
conveni ent. We can say wi th conf i dence that thi s i s a mi stake. Both of us are f ormer
workshop students, as are vi rtual l y al l Love Systems i nstructors. On your f i rst day of
the workshop, you wi l l probabl y be bl own away by the i nstructors ski l l s. Dont be. They
were once i n your chai r. I f you l ear n f rom them and practi ce what youve l ear ned, your
ski l l s can equal or exceed thei rs. Weve seen thi s happen over and over; thats how we
recrui t new i nstructors.
Theres never a perf ect ti me to take a workshop. Theres al ways a reason not to. Part of
dati ng sci ence i s i nter nal transf ormati on, and that i ncl udes sei zi ng the moment. I f youre
seri ous about havi ng beauti f ul women as a normal and easy part of your l i f e, then make
i t happen. Now. Wai ti ng a year j ust means that you wi l l have one year l ess to enj oy your
new ski l l s once you devel op them. You dont get extra ti me at the end to enj oy your l i f e
j ust because you were l ate getti ng started.
Another pi tf al l some peopl e f al l i nto i s wai ti ng to take a workshop unti l thei r ski l l s i m-
prove. Thi s i s backward. The progress peopl e make af ter a workshop i s i nf i ni tel y qui cker
than the progress they made bef ore one. And you shoul d have the resul ts you want now,
or i n a f ew months, as opposed to some di stant f uture poi nt.
I f youve read thi s book and Magi c Bul l ets, start pl anni ng your workshop now. Pi ck a
date. Si gn up. Pay your deposi t. Make i t happen f or real .
5. SELECTED ADVANCED MATERI AL
By f ar the best source of advanced materi al i s a monthl y audi o program creati vel y known
as the I ntervi ew Seri es. Every month, two of the worl ds top dati ng coaches are i nter-
vi ewed together on a speci f i c subj ect, rangi ng f rom Approachi ng to Seducti on or f rom
Phone Game to Threesomes. I ts a uni que product, si nce every topi c gets treated i n tre-
mendous depth, f rom at l east two perspecti ves, and theres an opportuni ty to hear the
tonal i ty and del i very that the masters use i n di ff erent si tuati ons.
We strongl y recommend subscri bi ng to the i ntervi ew seri es at
. I ts $24.99 per month.
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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When you subscri be, you wi l l be sent the current months i ntervi ew, and a new i ntervi ew
every month af terward. So you dont have to start back at Vol . 1, but al l of the previ ous
i ntervi ews do make an excel l ent home study l i brary f or an amazi ng number of di ff erent
topi cs.
That bei ng sai d, i ts much cheaper to subscri be ( about 50% off ) . Pl us subscri bers get
the i ntervi ews sl i ghtl y bef ore everyone el se, and other goodi es i ncl udi ng thei r own mai l -
i ng l i st and bonus content.
Other than getti ng Magi c Bul l ets, thi s i s the si ngl e most i mportant thi ng you can do
ri ght now:

ADVANCED MATERI AL, BY TOPI C
I n thi s secti on, weve al so combi ned al l of these previ ous i ntervi ews wi th some other re-
sources we recommend, and sorted them by topi c. For anythi ng you are havi ng troubl e
wi th or want to i mprove, you can go strai ght to the source.
Learni ng Game:
Mr. M and Rokker on The Ri ght Way to Lear n Game

Braddock, Rokker, and Mr. M on Sti cki ng Poi nts

Approachi ng and Bri dgei ng:
Si nn and Savoy on Openi ng
http://www.LoveSystems.com/cd1
The Don and Tenmagnet on The Fi rst Fi ve Mi nutes

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Attracti on:
Future and Tenmagnet on Val ue

Braddock and Dahunter on Teasi ng

Caj un and Tenmagnet on Rol e Pl ays

Qual i fi cati on:
Si nn and Vi si on on Qual i f i cati on

Mr. M, Bradock, and Sphi nx on I ssues i n Qual i f i cati on

Seducti on:
Si nn and Tenmagnet on Seducti on

Soul and Johnny Wol f on Logi sti cs: Taki ng Her Home

Rel ati onshi ps:
Rel ati onshi p Management DVDs f rom Savoy

Meeti ng women i n bars & cl ubs:
Savoy and The Don on Advanced Wi ngi ng

Moxi e and Future on Obstacl es and Other Men

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Savoy and The Don on Col d Reads

Mr. M and Sheri ff on Hi gh-End Cl ub Game

Meeti ng women outsi de of bars and cl ubs:
Savoy and Tenmagnet on Warm Approach

Savoy and Badboy on Soci al Ci rcl es

Dayti me Dati ng Workshop

Soci al Ci rcl e Mastery Semi nar

Humor:
Si nn and Future on Storytel l i ng

Braddock and Caj un on Humor

Humor, I mprov, Attracti on Semi nar wi th Bi g Busi ness
Mai nstream humor books and DVDs that have been recommended by past students:
Humor Theory: Formul a of Laughter by I gor Kri chtaf ovi tch
True and Fal se: Heresy and Common Sense for the Actor by Davi d Mamet
Three Uses of the Kni fe by Davi d Mamet
Comedi an ( movi e) by Jerry Sei nf el d
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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Femal e Psychol ogy:
Savoy and Soul on Femal e Psychol ogy

Phone Game:
Si nn and Savoy on Phone Game

Dates:
Aj ax and Future on Dates

Fashi on and Identi ty:
Tenmagnet, and Future on I denti ty

Moxi e and Savoy on Bei ng I n State

Bi g Busi ness and Presti ge on Love Systems i n Everyday Li f e

I nner Game Semi nar

Advanced Strategi es Important:
Si nn and Savoy on Frame Control

Savoy and Brad P. on Taki ng Chances

Si nn and The Don on Physi cal Progressi on and Ki ssi ng

DAYTI ME DATI NG
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Savoy and Speer on Damage Control

The Don and Savoy on Usi ng and Creati ng Routi nes

Tenmagnet, Braddock, and Caj un on Jeal ousy Pl otl i nes

Braddock, Mr. M, and Sheri ff on How to Be an Al pha Mal e

Soul , Badboy, and Cortez on Di rect Game

Braddock and Mr. M on 9 and 10 Game

One Ni ght Stands:
One Ni ght Stands Semi nar

Threesomes:
Savoy and Badboy on Threesomes

Stri ppers and Hi red Guns:
Stri ppers and Hi red Guns Semi nar

Intervi ew Seri es Bundl e Packs: You can now pi ck up past I ntervi ew Vol umes at amaz-
i ngl y di scounted pri ces. Each Pack i ncl udes 10 vol umes!
I ntervi ew Seri es Bundl e Pack 1 ( i ncl udi ng Vol umes 1-10)
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I ntervi ew Seri es Bundl e Pack 2 ( i ncl udi ng Vol umes 11-20)
I ntervi ew Seri es Bundl e Pack 3 ( i ncl udi ng Vol umes 21-30)
I ntervi ew Seri es Bundl e Pack 4 ( i ncl udi ng Vol umes 31-40)
I ntervi ew Seri es Bundl e Pack 5 ( i ncl udi ng Vol umes 41-50)
6. KEEP UP TO DATE
The best way to keep up to date wi th new devel opments i n dati ng sci ence i s of course to
subscri be to the I ntervi ew Seri es . But thats not the
onl y source of conti nui ng i nf ormati on and resources. I n f act, there are three good pl aces
to check out.
1. The Attracti on Forums . Thi s phenomenal web-
si te i s a great pl ace to f i nd a wi ngman, to search f or and read arti cl es and f i el d re-
ports f rom the masters, to share i nf ormati on and ask questi ons to others, to f i nd or post
routi nes, and to make f ri ends. I ts f ree.
2. The Li f e Wi th Soul bl og ( ) . Thi s i s where Soul posts hi s
thoughts on day game, women, l ove, and sex. You can f i nd al l of hi s cl assi c arti cl es and
vi deos here and l eave comments or get i n touch wi th hi m.
3. The Love Systems Publ i cati ons Li brary ( ) . Many of
the best techni ques and f i el d reports are added to thi s l i brary, whi ch grows every week.
I ts a great database f or the best ti ps to devel op your ski l l s.
You wi l l al so want to check out our f ree newsl etter, the Love Systems I nsi der ( LSi ) . I ts f ul l
of great i nf ormati on and new breakthroughs, and readi ng i t regul arl y wi l l i nspi re you to
keep devel opi ng your ski l l s. You can j oi n ( f or f ree! ) at the si gnup box on our homepage
or go di rectl y to .
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CONCLUSI ON
Not every good resource i s l i sted here. However, thi s shoul d gi ve you a road map f or the
next year or so. We were once i n your shoes, so we know what i ts l i ke. Wri te us any ti me
at .
DAYTI ME DATI NG
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TESTI MONI ALS
Thi s book i s a great t ool , and wi l l provi de you wi t h a st rong f oundat i on f or i mprovi ng your
ski l l s and bol st eri ng your conf i dence wi t h women. Wi t h t he knowl edge gl eaned f rom t hese
pages and l ot s of pract i ce, you wi l l see a marked i mprovement i n your i nt eract i ons wi t h
women.
When I met you on t he workshop, I coul d see i t i n you. I coul d see t hat t hi s guy can make
a gi rl comf ort abl e t o sl eep wi t h hi m wi t hi n mi nut es.
- K. S., London
As she l ef t , whi l e I was comi ng i n, I coul d sense j oy radi at i ng f rom her eyes. She was t rul y
happy. Thi s weekend has t aught me so much: about l i f e, about women, about mysel f , and
most i mport ant l y has ser ved t o change peopl es l i ves f or t he bet t er. I t was t he most i nt ense
emot i onal rol l ercoast er I ve experi enced si nce I st art ed out .
- I ena, London
I cannot f i nd words t o descri be Soul . Thi s guy i s j ust passi onat e about what he does and
cares about hi s st udent s. I know i t has been ment i oned bef ore but Soul exudes a charm
t hat even James Bond and Casanova cannot emul at e. He i s t he embodi ment of conf i dence
and smoot hness.
- Member of t he At t ract i on Forums
I am new t o t he Love Syst ems communi t y. I came here because I was i n an abusi ve rel a-
t i onshi p. The guy beat me ever yday and I di d not have t he conf i dence t o l eave. Af t er readi ng
Soul s I nspi re Ot hers To Be Bet t er post I f el t I owed i t t o my ki ds t o l eave. Thank you Soul .
I owe you.
- Femal e member of t he At t ract i on Forums
A f ri end of mi ne showed me t he art i cl es St op Hangi ng Out Wi t h Unsuccessf ul Peopl e and
I nspi re Ot hers To Be Bet t er. Then I researched more of Soul . Si nce t hen I have had t he
conf i dence t o l eave my boyf ri end of t hree years, who never had a j ob and l i ved of f me com-
pl et el y. Soul i s more t han a l i f e coach, he i s a l i f esaver.
- Mol l y, Kansas
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Thi nk about t he f reedom you woul d f eel i f you coul d see a gi rl t hat you are genui nel y i nt er-
est ed i n, approach her, have a great conversat i on, and creat e SERI OUS at t ract i on whenever
and wherever you want . The f i rst st ep t o get t i ng t o t hi s poi nt i s t o meet Soul .
- John D., Member of t he At t ract i on Forums
Jeremy i s probabl y one of t he best i nst ruct ors I have ever met and I am not j ust ref erri ng t o
GAME ( and I have been i n post -secondar y educat i on f or over 9 years) . Jeremy i s art i cul at e,
humbl e, passi onat e, and ext remel y support i ve of hi s st udent s. Moreover, t he mat eri al he
present s i s i nval uabl e.
- L.H., San Franci sco
There i s no pri ce t ag on somet hi ng t hat changes your l i f e.
- S.S, Member of t he At t ract i on Forums
Out of al l t he i nst ruct ors I ve met Soul i s t he most t rul y dri ven by what he does, and he
real l y does bel i eve i n i mprovi ng t he l i ves of t he men t hat he coaches and t he women t hat
t hey i nevi t abl y end up i n rel at i onshi ps wi t h. He i s al so i ncredi bl y compassi onat e and under-
st andi ng, and t ook t he t i me t o work wi t h each of us not onl y on our game, but on t he ot her
t hi ngs happeni ng i n our l i ves as wel l .
- Aaron S., St ockhol m
Jeremy i s a great i nspi rat i on, genui ne, a cool guy and an excel l ent t eacher.
- J.B., Sydney
Soul does a phenomenal j ob of rel ayi ng hi s great conversat i onal ski l l s t o hi s st udent s
t hrough hi s revol ut i onar y concept of Mast er y Topi cs. Thi s compl et el y changed t he way I
t hi nk of not onl y Day Game, but ever y si ngl e conversat i on I have f rom now on.
- B.M., Los Angel es
Ever y si ngl e day si nce t he semi nar has been bet t er t han t he l ast . Soul has f i nal l y pushed
me over t he edge, and has got t en me t o f ace my f ears and f i nal l y f i nd a f orm of approach
t hat s t ot al l y up my al l ey.
- S.C., New York Ci t y
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Soul s ver y good at what he does. He real l y has perf ect ed t he art of Day Game you can
t el l f rom hi s mast er y of t he concept s t hat t hey are sel f -devel oped, and not j ust i nheri t ed
and rehashed. Soul s Day Game i s t he best out t here and somewhat ref reshi ng f or t hose
t i red of ni ght game.
- B.J., New York Ci t y
What I real l y admi red about Soul s modus operandi i s t hat i t s root ed i n aut hent i ci t y. Hes
t eachi ng you t o be di rect , open and honest t o at t ract women rat her t han t o mani pul at e t hem
i nt o l i ki ng you. So you won t be requi red t o l earn a l ong l i st of l i nes and st ori es and f orced
cocky f unny bant er. Soul s al so a f ant ast i c t eacher - ent husi ast i c, hi ghl y art i cul at e, and
amusi ng and an expert ( probabl y THE expert ) i n hi s day-game f i el d and a great bl oke.
- S.D., London
Soul i s an excel l ent t eacher, and hi s met hod i s downri ght pract i cal . I don t know how wel l
Soul t hi nks he i s accompl i shi ng hi s obj ect i ve, so I l l say i t ri ght now: He has hi t t he mark
dead on. I m f ami l i ar wi t h t he wri t i ngs of numerous wel l -known met hods, especi al l y t hose
wri t t en f or day game. Soul s met hod i s si mpl y more speci f i c, more pract i cal , and more
nat ural , t han t he ot hers I ve seen. I am soooo happy t hat I t ook t hi s cl ass. I t was l i f e-
changi ng f or me. I f eel so empowered. I wi sh ever y guy coul d experi ence what I di d t hat
weekend. I t changed my l i f e.
- S.N., San Franci sco
Soul t aught ever yt hi ng so wel l , so wel l expl ai ned. He conveyed ever yt hi ng as si mpl y as
possi bl e, so ever yone coul d underst and. I t was met hodi cal , and f l owed wi t h ease. From
keys t o success, i nner game, t o t he Tri ad; t o t he whol e emot i onal progressi on model i n re-
gards t o Day Game, each st ep of t he model -- al l i n dept h wi t h unbel i evabl e det ai l . I l oved
i t so much. Soul i s j ust such an amazi ng t eacher.
- K.B. London
Then t here was Soul . Si r you have changed my game compl et el y once agai n. I n al l honest y,
ri ght now I al most f eel l i ke I ve st art ed down t he road al l over agai n, but t hi s t i me I can see
i t i s t he ri ght road t o be on.
- Ji m, New York Ci t y
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163
Af t er t he Day Game Workshop, I f el t somet hi ng changed i n me. I f el t way bet t er about
mysel f . I f el t I have more cont rol over my l i f e. I f el t t hat I can be somebody who I al ways
want ed t o be: an al pha mal e ni ce guy. Thank you Soul ! The next t i me we meet and you ask
me, What i s t he l ast t hi ng I want ed t o do, but never di d, and have regret s about , I woul d
l i ke t o have t he same answer as yours. Not hi ng.
- P.M., Los Angel es
My f i rst i mpressi on of Soul was of a f ai rl y humbl e, unassumi ng, and yet conf i dent guy-
where was t he st ar guru pi ckup whi rl wi nd of f ur y?! Ref reshi ngl y, not here! Soul i s not a
sel f -seeki ng guru - he i s t here t o hel p you succeed wi t h dat i ng women. Peri od. Ul t i mat el y,
my experi ence of t hi s program was not hi ng short of amazi ng, and Soul i s t he real deal -
prof essi onal , empat het i c, and t ot al l y passi onat e about hel pi ng guys achi eve t hei r dat i ng
dreams.

- F.N., Sydney
From Soul I was gi ven a real bel i ef t hat you can meet women wi t hout needi ng t o be a
danci ng monkey, wi t hout needi ng al cohol or t o be i n a ni ght cl ub, wi t hout needi ng t o share
a career, hobby or a mut ual f ri end t o i nt roduce you and wi t hout needi ng t o beat about t he
bush t r yi ng t o be t hei r f ri end f i rst .
- B.B., Aust i n
Soul s a ver y bri ght , pl easant , dedi cat ed prof essi onal who i s easy t o get al ong wi t h who wi l l
put you at ease i nst ant l y; wi t hi n a f ew moment s you wi l l know i nst i nct i vel y t hat you ve put
yoursel f and your f ut ure i n t he ri ght hands. He real l y does care about hi s st udent s progress
and put s hi s soul ( pun i nt ended) i nt o i t . Al t hough hes t aught hundreds of boot camps and
t housands of st udent s at no t i me di d I ever f eel t hat I was get t i ng a robot i c response, but
rat her preci sel y what I needed at t hat moment , i n t hat speci f i c si t uat i on.
- Paul , New York Ci t y
Al l i n al l I bel i eve Soul i s an except i onal t rai ner and coach... hi s met hod of shari ng i nf orma-
t i on makes compl ex mat eri al ver y easy t o underst and... he t rul y bel i eves i n what he t eaches
and i s ver y passi onat e about i t ... he has hi s heart i nt o i t when he t eaches and i t shows t hat
he cares great l y about hi s st udent s
- T.G., Osl o
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Ot her t han bei ng t he best day game i nst ruct or I bel i eve Soul i s an except i onal human be-
i ng... Thank you f or ever yt hi ng Soul .
- Member of t he At t ract i on Forums
Al l I can say i s t hat we al l owe Soul a l ot . The l ook of happi ness and change i n t he st udent s
were j ust amazi ng. Soul s met hod wi l l be t he best met hod t o i mprove your success wi t h
women you meet duri ng t he day t i me f or a ver y l ong t i me t o come.
- S.B., New York Ci t y
Soul sees body l anguage and behavi oral t rai t s t hat of f er hi m t hi nl y sl i ced moment s of
memor y recogni t i on i n, I guess, j ust about ever yone. Perhaps t hi s i s why he i s such a great
i nst ruct or, wi t h a l egendar y abi l i t y t o f i nd your f l aws and hel p you f i x t hem. He i s al l of Game.
Not j ust Day. He i s Ni ght t oo. He i s i nner game, he has shown me a process i n whi ch I can
approach, open, at t ract , qual i f y, val i dat e, comf ort , seduce, l ove and l ogi st i cal l y escal at e i n
t wo mi nut es f l at wi t h j ust one wel l const ruct ed t hought f ul but genui ne i nt eract i on i n whi ch I
can di spl ay t he ver y best , most seduct i ve versi on of mysel f t o onl y t hose I am t rul y at t ract ed
t o wi t h l i t t l e more t han t he most gent l e and subt l e of physi cal cont act .
- B.K. Toront o