1

Flee
Youthful
Lusts!
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“You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).
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An apology to the reader: In this chapter, there are some words which may
be too frank for you. However, I found it necessary to be specific so that you
may be transformed and God will be glorified. “I pray that the eyes of your
heart may be enlightened” (Ephesians 1:18) that you may understand how
you may have committed adultery (Proverbs 6:32; Hosea 4:14) and avoid it.

The media teaches its own morality. In TV programs, movies and

magazines, it is very common to see those who ‘love each other’ kissing and
going to bed. Homosexuality and lesbianism, which used to be shameful, are
now bandied as acceptable alternative lifestyle. Actors, singers, directors and
others in the movie industry are no longer ashamed of it. What makes it
worse, many are following their examples.

WHY FORBIDDEN SEX IS NOT BEST FOR YOU

1. FORBIDDEN SEX CAN DESTROY YOUR OWN BODY.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside
his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians
6:18)

According to the Barnes New Testament:

‘The sense is, “It wastes the bodily energies; produces feebleness,
weakness, and disease; it impairs the strength, enervates the man, and
shortens life.” Were it proper, this might be proved to the satisfaction of
every man by an examination of the effects of licentious indulgence. Those
who wish to see the effects stated may find them in Dr. Rush ‘On the
Diseases of the Mind’. Perhaps no single sin has done so much to produce
the most painful and dreadful diseases, to weaken the constitution, and to
shorten life, as this. Other vices, as gluttony and drunkenness, do this also;
and all sin has some effect in destroying the body; but it is true of this sin
in an eminent degree.”

This may mean death to you:

“If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife— with the wife
of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to
death” (Leviticus 20:10).

You may complain, ‘But that is for the Jews in those days! Jesus did not
condemn an adulterer caught in the act! (John 8:3-11).

Even if your government will not give you such punishment for adultery, the
spouse may give it:

“But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so

destroys himself … for jealousy arouses a husband’s fury, and he will
show no mercy when he takes revenge. He will not accept any
compensation; he will refuse the bribe, however great it is” (Proverbs 6:32-
35).
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Indeed, when you commit adultery with someone’s spouse, if the spouse
takes revenge, he/she will show no mercy.

2. FORBIDDEN SEX CAN GIVE YOU PERMANENT SHAME AND DISGRACE AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.

“But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so

destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will
never be wiped away” (Proverbs 6:32-33).

3. FORBIDDEN SEX AFFECTS YOUR SOUL.

“ Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to

abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul” (1 Peter 2:11).

Worst of all, if you continue and die in that sin, you will not go to heaven:

“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of
God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor
adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders” (1
Corinthians 6:9).

Are you being tempted to commit adultery? … Remember that it can have
evil effects on your body, name and eternal destiny!

Having seen the negative results of forbidden sex, you might now ask:

WHAT KINDS OF SEXUAL ACTS ARE FORBIDDEN?

“And you shall not give your semen to your neighbor’s wife [by]
lying [with her]” (Leviticus 18:20 Green’s Literal Translation).

1. SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH OR COVETING ANOTHER’S SPOUSE

Now you may say, ‘I have not had sexual intercourse with another’s wife!’
That is good! However, sexual intercourse with another’s spouse is not the
only thing forbidden:

“…. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife…”

(Exodus 20:17).

Yes, the following is also a sin:

2. DESIRING ANOTHER’S SPOUSE

Someone complained, “We are not sinning—both of us are not married!”

That is a faulty reasoning! It is common knowledge that a prostitute may not
be married. However, she may commit adultery:

“…He has condemned the great prostitute who corrupted the earth by
her adulteries” (Revelation 19:2).
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One way by which she commits adultery is by becoming one flesh with a
man:

“…. Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one
with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh’” (1
Corinthians 6:15-16).

We can see here that if you have had sexual intercourse with a prostitute
(whether she is paid for it [Luke 15:30] or not [Ezekiel 16:33-34]), you have
already sinned. Thus, the following is also a sin:

3. SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH AN UNMARRIED PERSON

You need to avoid not only sexual intercourse with someone not your
spouse but you are also to avoid …

4. BURNING LUSTS TOWARD AND INDECENT ACTS WITH THE SAME SEX

“You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an
abomination.” (Leviticus 18:22 NAS)

“Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity,
that their bodies might be dishonored among them… For this reason God
gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the
natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the
men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their
desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts
and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error” (Romans
1:24-27 NAS).

If you have committed these homosexual or lesbian sins, pray this way:
“God, I agree with what my sex organ tells me. I am a man/woman! I am
not a homosexual/lesbian! It is an abomination and a sin to have sexual
motives and activities with the same sex. Remove the burning desire in me
for the same sex.”

5. SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH AN ANIMAL

Also you shall not have intercourse with any animal to be defiled with
it, nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it; it is a
perversion” (Leviticus 18:23; Exodus 22:19 NAS).

Suggested Prayer if you committed this sin: “Lord, I agree that I have
sinned against you in having sexual intercourse with another other than my
spouse. I shall now fill my thoughts with your Word that I may be freed from
continuing in that sin.”

6. UNCOVERING THE NAKEDNESS OF A BLOOD RELATIVE:

“None of you shall approach any blood relative of his to uncover

nakedness; I am the LORD. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your
father, that is, the nakedness of your mother. She is your mother; you are
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not to uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your
father’s wife; it is your father’s nakedness. The nakedness of your sister,
[either] your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether born at
home or born outside, their nakedness you shall not uncover. The
nakedness of your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter, their
nakedness you shall not uncover; for their nakedness is yours. The
nakedness of your father’s wife’s daughter, born to your father, she is
your sister, you shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover
the nakedness of your father’s sister; she is your father’s blood relative.
You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister, for she is
your mother’s blood relative. You shall not uncover the nakedness of your
father’s brother; you shall not approach his wife, she is your aunt. You
shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law; she is your
son’s wife, you shall not uncover her nakedness. You shall not uncover the
nakedness of your brother’s wife; it is your brother’s nakedness. You
shall not uncover the nakedness of a woman and of her daughter, nor
shall you take her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter, to
uncover her nakedness; they are blood relatives. It is lewdness. And you
shall not marry a woman in addition to her sister as a rival while she is
alive, to uncover her nakedness (Leviticus 18:6-18 NAS).

“Thus, any kind of sexual activity involving the uncovering of the nakedness
of another person who is not a lawful wife or husband [including acts that fall
short of sexual intercourse] oversteps God’s boundaries of purity and is serious
sin against Him and His law.” (Full Life Study Bible)

For male reader: Have you uncovered the nakedness of your mother or
father’s wife (Leviticus 18:7-8; 1Corinthians 5:1)? … aunt (v.12-13)? …
father’s brother’s wife (v.14)? … sister from one or both parents (v.9,11)? …
wife’s sister, daughter/daughter-in-law or granddaughter (v.10,17,18)? …
wife of your brother or son (v.15,16)? … If so, confess it to God.

For female reader: Have you uncovered the nakedness of your son or
your husband’s (Leviticus 18:7-8)? … your nephew or your husband’s (v.12-
14) … your brother from one or both parents (v.9,11)? … the husband of
your sister, mother or grandmother (v.10,17,18)? … brother/father-in-law
(v.15,16)? … If so, confess it to God.

Note that marriage of cousins is not forbidden in Leviticus 18 though you

may chose to not allow it because of the law of the land where you live. But if
cousins are married, do not judge them. Caleb, who followed God fully
(Joshua 14:8) gave his daughter as wife to her cousin (Joshua 15:17).

You may be saying, “I have not done any of the sins you have mentioned!”
Good for you, but notice that there are …

ACTS THAT LEAD TO SEXUAL ACTIONS

WHICH DOES NOT PLEASE GOD

1. LOOKING WITH A LUSTFUL PURPOSE.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I
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say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has
committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if your right eye
makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for
you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to
be thrown into hell.”

This is what Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-29 (NASB). Thus, looking with a
lustful purpose is already adultery!

You do not only sin by looking lustfully. Just by your motive, you can
already sin! The question is ‘Why did you look?’ If you already know that
there is something lustful there, why did you still look? Even if you do not feel
any lust at that time, if your motives are evil, you already sin!

Have you watched a lustful movie? ...gazed at a lustful picture? ... Have
you read a lustful magazine? ... Have you peeped? ... If you will not stop in
your sin, according to Matthew 5:29, your whole body will go to hell.

If you are saying, ‘I’m not affected by the evil things I see!’ That is good!
However, beware that you do not cause others to sin by the way you dress.

“Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound
to come, but woe to that person through whom they come” (Luke 17:1).

“And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,
it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone
tied around his neck.” (Mark 9:42)

“ I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not
with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes” (1 Timothy 2:9).

The Full Life Study Bible comments, “The word decency… implies a certain
shame in exposing the body. It involves a refusal to dress in such a way as to
draw attention to the body and to pass the boundaries of proper reserve.”

Did you feel shame the first time you wore a seductive dress? … Then do
not wear it again!

In the way you dressed, acted or spoke, have you caused one who is not
your spouse to look lustfully at you? … Woe to you! This is especially true
when you cause believers in Jesus to sin—your punishment will be terrifying
unless you receive forgiveness for that sin!

2. SINS OF THE HAND

MASTURBATION

I’d like to ask the male reader of this book: Suppose you see a naked
woman and no one sees you, what is the next part of your body that would
most likely sin? …

In your sincere answer to that question, you may now understand why
Jesus said after the eye sinned:
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“ And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it
away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole
body to go into hell” (Matthew 5:30).

Should you say, “But I don’t use my right hand!”, remember that Jesus also
said:

“If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter
life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes
out” (Mark 9:43).

How can your hand sin? Paul says:

“What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now
ashamed of? Those things result in death!” (Romans 6:21)

One of the sins a person may be ashamed of is masturbation. It may make

his clothes unclean:

“When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole

body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or
leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be
unclean till evening” (Leviticus 15:16-17).

A man may have seminal emission naturally when his semen increases.
That is not sin. However, if he causes it to come out through masturbation, he
sins. If he did it with his garments on, he makes them unclean and stained by
flesh (his evil desires):

“save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy
with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh” (Jude 1:23
NAS).

You may sin with your hand by going beyond the boundaries of your
physical intimacy:

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; [that is], that you abstain
from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own
vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles
who do not know God; [and] that no man transgress and defraud his
brother in the matter because the Lord is [the] avenger in all these things,
just as we also told you before and solemnly warned [you]. For God has not
called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification” (1 Thessalonians
4:3-7 NAS).

You can see from this verse that you are not to imitate those who do not
know God. You are not to follow what you see on TV, in the movies or in any
reading material made by those who are not close to God. You are also not to
transgress or defraud another believer.

To transgress is to go beyond the boundaries. In Job 24:2 of the

Septuagint (a translation of the Hebrew Old Testament into Greek), the same
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Greek word is used. It means to move boundaries

“Boundaries, men move back, flocks, they seize and consume…” (Job
24:2 Rotherham).

You should set limits to your physical intimacy with your girlfriend and
neither of you should cross the boundaries. Here’s one thing you should not
do:

CARESSING THAT ARE FOR MARRIED COUPLES ONLY

… Abimelech king of the Philistines looked down from a window and saw
Isaac caressing his wife Rebekah. So Abimelech summoned Isaac and
said, “She is really your wife! Why did you say, ‘She is my sister’?”….
(Genesis 26:8-9).

When others see your physical intimacy, would they not think you are
married? If so, you have crossed the boundary!

To defraud is to take advantage--a work of Satan. We should live in a way

“that Satan might not outwit us” (2 Corinthians 2:11)

When you defraud or wrong a person, you also corrupt and exploit him.
Paul says:

“…. We have wronged no-one, we have corrupted no-one, we have

exploited no-one” (2 Corinthians 7:2).

TOUCHING THE BREASTS & KISSING

In describing Israel’s sin, God talked about what happened with prostitutes.
He said:

“They became prostitutes in Egypt, engaging in prostitution from their

youth. In that land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms
caressed. …. She did not give up the prostitution she began in Egypt,
when during her youth men slept with her, caressed her virgin bosom and
poured out their lust upon her. …. So you longed for the lewdness of your
youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts
fondled” (Ezekiel 23:3,8,21).

It is clear from these verses that one of the things done to prostitutes is
that their breasts were fondled and caressed.

In describing the actions of an adulterous wife who was dressed like a

harlot and was seducing a man, Solomon said:

“…. So she seizes him and kisses him… “ (Proverbs 7:6-27 NAS).

To the female reader: Would you like to be treated like a prostitute or an

adulteress by your boyfriend? … If not, then, don’t let him touch your breast
or any other sensitive part of your body nor kiss you as adulterers would in
preparation for sexual intercourse!
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To the male reader: Do you want to be married to a prostitute or an

adulteress? … If not, don’t treat your girlfriend like one! Respect her!

“.... Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and

younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (1 Timothy 5:1-2)

Would you have touched or kissed your girlfriend or boyfriend in the way
you have done it if she or he were your mother, brother or sister? If you
would, you have crossed the boundary! Don’t do it again!

3. SEDUCTIVE SPEECH, ATTIRE AND LOOKS

Because you know your boy/girlfriend’s weakness, did you do something to

cause him/her to fall? … How did you do it? Did you use the same speech and
body language that an immoral woman uses?

“keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of
the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her
captivate you with her eyes”
(Proverbs 6:24-25).

Did your attire seduce a person? … Have you talked to him/her in a way
that he/she could not resist? … Did you use seductive words?…

Have you done something that “turned others on” to have immoral actions
or thoughts? Did you sing songs about sexual intercourse? … Did you dance
the way prostitutes dance on stage, moving as they would in sexual
intercourse with humans or animals? …

4. INTIMATE FRIENDSHIP OF A MARRIED PERSON TO ANOTHER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.

A husband had a problem with his wife. He shared it with his female office-
mate. She gave him ‘favor’ by listening to him. He returned the favor by
helping her do the shopping … Later, they had sexual intercourse.
Yes, their friendship ended up in fornication. Does this mean if you are
married, you are not to have friends of the opposite sex?
To answer this question, let us first consider the following verse:

“Ye adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is

enmity with God? Whosoever therefore would be a friend of the world
maketh himself an enemy of God.” (James 4:4 ASV) … Whoever, then,
purposes to be a friend of the world is shown to be an enemy of God.”
(LIT). “…. an enemy of God he is set.” (YLT)

The word for friend here does not imply sexual relationship. A person is a
friend of another if he does what the other tells him (John 15:14), like the
friend of the bridegroom rendering him “various services in closing the
marriage and celebrating the nuptials (3:29) or the friend of the centurion
relaying his message to Jesus (Luke 7:6). He does favor for his friend
(23:12), even at an inconvenient time (11:5,6,8).
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A friend also reveals intimate things about his family and activities (John
15:15). He believes in him (James 2:23). He does not speak evil against his
friend (John 19:12). He invites or is invited by the other to eat or drink with
him (Luke 14:10,12; 7:34; Matthew 11:19), sometimes in his dwelling (Luke
16:9). They have fun times together (15:6,9,29). He refreshes him (Acts
27:3).

He associates himself with the other even if that would mean being
degraded in the eyes of others (Matthew 11:19; Luke 7:34). When the
friendship becomes so deep, he may even be willing to die for him (John
15:13).

Having understood what the word ‘friend’ means, let us consider when such
friendship becomes adulterous:

The church is the bride of the Son of God (John 3:29; Revelation 19:7).
The friendship that the world offers is enmity with God—He hates it.
Therefore, the church member who desires and purposes to be a friend of the
world—to reciprocate the friendship that the world offers—sets himself to
become a spiritual adulterer and thus and enemy of God.

Such is a picture of how adultery can be committed. In the case mentioned

earlier, the woman offered friendship by listening to the husband. He then
reciprocated by helping her with her shopping. If I were the wife’s father, I
would have become angry when the woman listened to the husband. The
husband would become my enemy if he purposes to do favor for her. I would
be outrageous when they later commit physical fornication.

What do you do when you have marital problems? Do you seek comfort
from another of the opposite sex? … Do you trust him/her? … Do you tell
him/her about your problems? … even intimate things about your life and
family background? … Do you ask favors from him? … Can you do these to
him even in inconvenient times? …Do you feel refreshed with him/her? …

What if a married person of the opposite sex has a problem with his
spouse? Do you spend time listening to him/her alone? … Do you eat food
together? … Do you comfort him/her? … Do you listen to him sharing intimate
things about his/her family? … Do you avoid speaking evil against him/her? …
Do you seek to protect him/her from harm? … Do you make merry with
him/her? … Do you give favors for him/her? … even when others speak evil of
you? …

The degree to which you answer these questions in the affirmative shows
how deep your friendship with him/her. That shows the degree of danger of
you are toward committing physical adultery!

Do you have this thought sometimes, “I wish my spouse were like

him/her!” Be honest with yourself. Are you not already committing adultery
with him/her in your heart? …

If your spouse, knowing this relationship, would be jealous or someone

close to him/her would be jealous for her, that is a protection for you from
the Lord. If you say, “He/she is just a friend!” That shows that you have
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crossed the dangerous boundary! I urge you, flee!

If you have transgressed or defrauded a person, whether a male or female,

stop it now! Otherwise, God will punish you!

“and that in this matter no-one should wrong his brother or take
advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have
already told you and warned you.” (1 Thessalonians 4:6)

Our sexuality is a good and perfect gift of God. It is like a beautiful river. It
is beautiful when it flows in its natural course. However, it is destructive when
it goes beyond its natural boundaries. In the same way, those who have gone
beyond the sexual boundaries of the Bible end up in grief, anxiety, regrets,
tears and trouble.

If you have transgressed or defrauded someone, confess it to God:

Sample Prayer: “Lord, forgive me for transgressing or defrauding some by

gazing, speaking and acting with a lustful purpose. I have kissed a person
torridly or touched sensitive parts of his/her body.”

TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MOST PLEASING

SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH YOUR SPOUSE:

1. Resolve not to gaze at a person (a man or woman) to lust for him/her.

Follow David’s and Job’s resolution:

“I will set before my eyes no vile thing. The deeds of faithless men I hate;
they shall not cling to me (Psalms 101:3).”

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl (Job 31:1).”

2. Avoid shows, movies, reading articles or even radio programs or music

which stimulate you sexually. We are being warned:

“Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?”
(Proverbs 6:27)

“but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away
and enticed” (James 1:14).

Instead, read something that will draw you closer to God.

3. Set clear boundaries between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend. Avoid

touching or kissing sensitive parts of his/her body. Avoid places that are
dark or isolated (such as movie houses, motels and even alone in one’s
house). That way, neither of you will be tempted to transgress nor defraud
the other. Instead join others in their ministries—like witnessing, leading
Bible studies, etc.

4. If you are married, it is not advisable to develop an intimate friendship with

the opposite sex. It’s not only that it is improper but it is also very
dangerous for a married person to completely confide in someone belonging
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to the opposite sex. Many who claimed to be spiritually related to God, even
spiritual leaders, eventually fell into sexual sin due to closeness and over-
bonding with a person whom they consider only from the beginning as
their friends.

5. Regularly meet with a mature Christian or a Christian group of your gender.

“See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that
turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as
long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s
deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:12-13).

It is shameful and inappropriate to confess sexual sins like masturbation to

a person belonging to the opposite sex other than your spouse. So chose
from the members of that group one that is ready to come alongside you—
understand, pray for, remind, strengthen and advise you. If you cannot
find someone to help, if you are married, you may ask your spouse to help.

If ever you share how you have been defeated by sin, be careful that you
do not give Satan the glory nor encourage others to dwell on things that
are not pure, lovely and of good repute (Philippians 4:8). Avoid talking in
details about sexual sins. It would be enough to go through what is written
in this book.

In your group, do not laugh at any sin that will be shared—like engaging in
homosexual activities. Do not even joke with someone related to his being
a homosexual or lesbian. Be sure that you do not act judgmentally about
the sins that will be confessed. Doing so would add pain and difficulty to
someone who may be ashamed already of the sin (Romans 6:21)!

6. If the testimony of your group or church has been affected by a sin you
have committed, tell it to a group leader of the same gender. Ask him to
help you and do whatever is necessary to clean whatever stains you have
produced that the name of God and that of your group may no longer be
criticized (2 Samuel 12:14).

7. If God has given you the ability to control yourself, you may choose to
remain unmarried and pursue devotion to the Lord not distracted by the
troubles in this life (1Corinthians 7:25-38). If you choose to marry, be
married to a believer after getting godly and scriptural advice (vv.1-2, 7-9,
39-40) as a confirmation that you heard from God (John 10:27).

8. If you are married, have sexual intercourse with your spouse whenever you
or your spouse wants it (1Corinthians 7:3-6).

9. If you have lived-in with another, ask God for strength. Make restitution
before judgment comes upon you and you go to hell with your live-in
partner (Luke 3:7-14). Stop sexual intercourse with him/her and ask
forgiveness from him/her. Read this chapter to him/her. If he/she becomes
guilty of his/her sin too, and he/she is not married, ask him/her to look with
you for a marriage counselor who knows God and who can help you get
closer to God and be married in a ceremony which need not be expensive
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(Exodus 22:16-17; 1Corinthians 7:13-16). You may try to contact 700 Club
at 1800-1-888-8700 for toll-free counseling. You may also try to contact
me at +639178481928 or Equippers@msn.com.

If he/she does not want to be married or if one of you is married to another

and the two of you have kids as a result of your fornication, discuss with
him/her how you can contribute to the children’s needs and explain to them
what you will do. Ask forgiveness from them too. Leave your live-in
partner as soon as you have arranged for these things.

If you are married, after leaving your live-in partner, be reconciled to your
spouse (1Corinthians 7:11). Bring to your spouse some flowers or
whatever pleases him/her. Ask forgiveness from him/her. If he/she
rejects you, pursue him/her as what a man does in courting a single
woman. Since he/she remains as your spouse, seek to please him/her
(v.33). Keep on doing good to him/her. Persevere. Give him/her time to
heal of his/her emotions. If you have children by him/her, do these same
things with them. Perhaps, if you get reconciled with them, they may help
you reconcile with your spouse.

10. You are commanded by the Lord not to separate from your spouse
(1Corinthians 7:10; Matthew 19:6), especially when your hard heart leads
you to seek divorce (Matthew 19:8; 1Corinthians 7:27). Divorce breaks
faith with the marriage covenant partner (Malachi 2:14). God wants you to
remain as one because He is seeking godly offspring (v.15). But with
divorce, your children becomes unclean (1Corinthians 7:12-14) like demons
(Matthew 12:43). That is why God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16).

If your spouse is an unbeliever and is willing to live with you, stop leaving
him/her or sending him/her away (1Corinthians 7:12-13). Staying with
him/her may save him/her (v.14). But if your spouse leaves, let him/her
do so. In such a case, you are not under bondage to hinder him/her from
leaving you (v.13) even if you are financially in bondage to (dependent
upon) him/her. Continue to seek God’s kingdom and righteousness and
expect Him to supply your food and clothing (Matthew 6:25-34;
Deuteronomy 28:1-14).

Appendix III shows that a man can divorce his wife only if: she is related
to him according to Leviticus 18:6-18; ‘she’ is of the same sex or an
‘animal’ (18:22-23); her first husband is still alive (Romans 7:2-3); after
being married and before coming together, she commits sexual intercourse
with another (Matthew 1:29). The wife can divorce her husband for the
same grounds.

If your spouse committed adultery, instead of divorce or annulment, follow

the way of love (1Corinthians 14:1). Love him/her as Christ loves the
church (Ephesians 5:25), as God loves the Israelites and as Hosea loved
her adulterous wife (Hosea 3:1). Like Christ who does not divorce us or
replace us for being adulterous (James 4:4), do not divorce him/her nor
replace her. Seek to be reconciled to him/her (1Corinthians 7:11).
Convince him/her to live with you for the sake of your children. If he/she
agrees, it may make his/her and your children sanctified (1Peter 3:1-2) and
not remain unclean. Pursue your spouse and snatch him/her out of the fire
 14
(Jude 1:23) as in item #8 above. Don’t give up hope unless God takes
your spouse’s life and bring him/her to hell (Revelations 21:8).

11. If he/she physically or verbally abuses you and/or your children or he/she
hinders you from obeying God that staying with him would be participating
in his deeds of darkness (Ephesians 5:11), you may separate from your
spouse. However, remain unmarried or else be reconciled to your spouse
(1Corinthians 7:10-11).

12. If you and your spouse get divorced, and at least one gets remarried to
another, you should no longer return to each other (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).

Grounds for Divorce or Annulment

In situations where a spouse commits adultery, the aggrieved party have
considered divorcing the spouse. In countries like the Philippines, some think
of having their marriage annulled. But what does Jesus say?

“But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual
immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who
is divorced commits adultery.” (Mattthew 5:32 NKJV) “And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another,
commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits
adultery.” (19:9 NKJV)

It is evident from this passage that the ground for divorce was only “sexual
immorality” or “fornication” (KJV). Now the question is what kind of
fornication is included here?

Fornication was also used of adultery (Hosea 3:1,3 LXX). The question is
which kind of adultery is a ground for divorce.

Surely not all adultery are grounds for divorce. Otherwise, when a man looks
on a woman to lust for her, his wife can already divorce him for adultery in his
heart (Matthew 5:28)?

Let us now see which kinds of fornication are grounds for divorce:

“2 For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long

as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of
marriage. 3 So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still
alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released
from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another
man.” (Romans 7:2-3)

Have you discovered that your spouse was previously married to another who
is still alive? Then your marriage is null and void. If your government
considers it valid, you can work for an annulment of your marriage. You can
marry because you were deceived and hence was never truly married! Thus …

1. A person can divorce his spouse if the latter's first spouse is still
alive.
 15

An example of an adulteress for two reasons was Herodias. First, she married
while her husband was still alive. Secondly, she married brothers (Mark 6:18;
Leviticus 18:16; 1Corinthians 5:1).

Fornication was also used to describe homosexual and lesbian acts (Romans
1:29, 26-27). Thus, those in same-sex marriages are also fornicators. If
through man’s wickedness, the wife was redefined so that ‘she’ is actually
another ‘man’, a man can divorce his ‘wife’. In the same way, if in the future,
it becomes worse that an animal can become a wife, the man should divorce
his ‘wife’ and should have the animal killed (Leviticus 18:22-23; 20:15-16).
The man need not be killed (John 8:1-11). This brings us to the second
ground for divorce:

2. A man can divorce his wife if ‘she’ is his mother / sister /

(grand)daughter / niece /aunt (or in-law) of the same gender or an
‘animal’ (Leviticus 18:6-18) .

What about the husband whose wife committed adultery? Can he divorce
him?

God asked Hosea to marry a prostitute (Hosea 1:2). Thus, fornication

before marriage is not a ground for not being one as husband and wife. and
thus is also not a ground for divorce.

Joseph thought Mary committed sexual intercourse before they came together
(Matthew 1:19). Notice that Matthew also says that contemplating divorce is
an evidence that Joseph was righteous. Hence:

3. A man can divorce his wife if after being married and before sexual
intercourse, she commits sexual intercourse with another.

After Hosea married Gomer, she committed fornication again. God’s counsel
for Hosea was not to divorce Gomer for such sin (Hosea 3:1,3). Thus, if your
situation is like that of Hosea, God tells you the same thing (Psalm 33:11).
You are to love your wife as Christ loves the church and gave himself for her
(Ephesians 5:25). If you are willing to die for your wife, can you not suffer for
her while she is still sinning?

In your mind, check (þ) any sin you may have done:

I HAVE COMMITTED ADULTERY BY:

¨ Having sexual intercourse with someone who is
¨ not my spouse (Leviticus 18:20; 20:10; Exodus 20:17; Rev. 19:2)
¨ of the same sex as mine (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:24-27)
¨ an animal (Leviticus 18:23)
¨ my parent/ sibling/(grand)child/nephew/niece/aunt/uncle (or in-law)
(Leviticus 18:6-18)
¨ Marrying though my spouse is still alive (Romans 7:2-3; 1Corinthians
7:39).
¨ Transgressing or defrauding another (1Thessalonians 4:3-7) by:
¨ looking to lust (Matthew 5:27-29; Exodus 20:17), peeping, reading,
hearing or watching pornographic newspapers, magazines, books,
 16
stories, movies, etc.
¨ seductive attire, words and actions (Proverbs 6:12,13,24,25).
¨ uncovering his/her nakedness (Leviticus 18:6-18)
¨ lustful embracing, kissing, or touching of sensitive parts of his/her body
(Proverbs 5:20; 7:13; Ezekiel 23:3,8,21).
¨ Masturbation (Matthew 5:30).
¨ Making myself a friend of the opposite sex when at least one of us is
engaged or married (James 4:4) by revealing family secrets to him/her,
obeying and defending him/her (John 15:13-15).
Suggested prayer: God, I no longer want to give Satan an opportunity by
following the sinful desires of my body. Instead, I will now use it in
righteousness for your glory alone.

As you pray this prayer and follow these suggestions, if you are married or
should God want you to be married, be prepared for maximum satisfaction in
your sex life with your spouse.

That you may be protected from sexual sins, meditate again on this
passage:
“ Do you not know that the wicked
will not inherit the kingdom of God?
Do not be deceived:
Neither the sexually immoral
nor idolaters, nor adulterers
nor male prostitutes , nor homosexual offenders…
will inherit the kingdom of God”
(1 Corinthians 6:9).

If you want to be forgiven in any of the sins listed here, you may write me
at equippers@msn.com. You may also want to read this 2 page link:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/22396398/Do-You-Want-to-Always-be-with-God-
who-Reigns.

Questions for Discussion:

(Suggest a partnership among the members of the group with the same
gender, one being able to be the brother keeper later. Once each accept a
partner, ask each one to share his answer to the following.)
1. Are you committing not to gossip what you will hear from your partner?
2. After reading this chapter, what would you want to avoid?