20111213045253principles and Techniques of Counselling

PRINCIPLES AND TECHNIQUES OF COUNSELLING
MICROSKILL MODEL
Kinesics is included
D. John Antony, OFM. Cap.
Anugr! Pu"lic#i$ns
Anugr!
%T&ilndu C'uc!in Ins#i#u#e ($r C$unselling) Ps*c!$#!er'* nd Reserc!+
N$c!i$di'##i P$s#) Dindigul , -./ 001) T&il Ndu) Indi
.002
Principles and Techniques of Counselling-7
D. 3$!n An#$n*) OFM.C'. .004
Other Books by the Author:
1. Dynamics of Counselling
Microskill Model
TA !"P are included
#. $kills of Counselling % #nd &di'ion
Microskill Model
(inesics )ocusing are included
*. Types of Counselling
"ifespan De+elopmen'al $i'ua'ional Approach
De+elopmen'al Psychology is included
,. Psycho'herapies in Counselling
-ncludes Theories of Personali'y
.. $elf Psychology in Counselling
A Te/'0ook of $elf Psychology
1. )amily Counselling
The Classic $chools
7. Trauma Counselling
2. &mo'ions in Counselling
3. Men'al Disorders &ncoun'ered in Counselling
A Te/'0ook of Clinical Psychology 4ased on D$M--5
16. Personali'y Profile Through 7and8ri'ing Analysis
A Te/'0ook of 7and8ri'ing Analysis
9raphology
11. Tamil
1#. Tamil
)irs' &di'ion : :anuary #663
Pu0lished 0y : Anugraha Pu0lica'ions
Anugraha
;Tamilnadu Capuchin -ns'i'u'e for Counselling< Psycho'herapy and
=esearch>
!ochiodaipa''i Pos'< Dindigul % 1#, 66*< Tamilnadu< -ndia
Prin'ed a' :
A+aila0le a' :
#
CONCISE TA5LE OF CONTENTS
Ta0le of con'en's ;Concise> . . . . . . . . 66
Ta0le of con'en's ;De'ailed> . . . . . . . . 66
A. Preface . . . . . . . . . . 66
4. -n'roduc'ion . . . . . . . . . 66
C. Counselling forma' . . . . . . . . . 66
I. PACING
FACILITATI6E DIMENSION
1. ?elcome 'he clien' 8i'h a small 'alk . . . . . . 66
#. @0ser+e 'he 0ody language of 'he clien' . . . . . 66
*. A''end 'o 'he clien' physically . . . . . . 66
,. "e' 'he clien' 'ell 'he s'ory . . . . . . . 66
.. =eflec' 'he con'en' of 8ha' 'he clien' said . . . . . 66
1. =eflec' 'he feeling of 'he clien' . . . . . . 66
7. =eflec' 'he deeper feeling of 'he clien' . . . . . 66
2. Allo8 'he clien' 'o speak sufficien'ly on 'he feeling . . . . 66
3. )acili'a'e 'he clien' 'o release s'rong nega'i+e feelings . . . 66
16. Pinpoin' 'he pro0lem and ask for a recen' e+en' . . . . 66
II. REFRAMING
ACTION7ORIENTED DIMENSION
11. PersonaliAe 'he clien'Bs deficiency . . . . . . 66
1#. )ind ou' al'erna'i+e frame of reference . . . . . 66
1*. &mploy pro0lem-sol+ing 'echniques< 0eha+ioural s'ra'egies< and ac'ion programmes
1,. -nsigh's . . . . . . . . . 66
1.. Define and opera'ionAliAe 'he goal . . . . . . 66
11. Make con'rac's and e+alua'e . . . . . . . 66
&ndno'es . . . . . . . . . . 66
4i0liography . . . . . . . . . 66
*
DETAILED TA5LE OF CONTENTS
Ta0le of Con'en's ;Concise> . . . . . . . . 66
Ta0le of Con'en's ;De'ailed>. . . . . . . 66
A. Preface . . . . . . . . . 66
4. -n'roduc'ion . . . . . . . . 66
C. Counselling forma' . . . . . . . . 66
I. PACING
8
9ELCOME THE CLIENT 9ITH A SMALL TALK
1. ?elcome 'he clien' . . . . . . . . 66
1> Acquain'ing
#> =appor' 0uilding
*> $haking hands
,> Pro+iding pri+acy
#. Make 'he clien' comfor'a0le 8i'h a small 'alk . . . . . 66
1> $mall 'alk
#> Confiden'iali'y
*> Time-limi'
,> Pre+ious counselling
.> -n+i'a'ion 'o 'alk
*. CounselleeBs 'ask . . . . . . . . 66
1> ?illingness
#> 9rea'er responsi0ili'y
*> "a8 of iner'ia
,> )ear of change
.> =eluc'an' clien'
1> =esis'an' clien'
7> CCoa/ meB game . . . . . . . 66
.
O5SER6E THE 5OD:LANGUAGE OF THE CLIENT
1. 4ody speaks mos' . . . . . . . . 66
#. The unconscious peeps 'hrough 'he 0ody
*. 4ody speaks a language
,. Displaced ac'i+i'ies . . . . . . . . 66
.. Psychodynamics of )reud
1. )i/ed muscular pa''erns re+eal se' a''i'udes
7. $8ea'-shir's and ul'erior 'ransac'ions
2. &nergy le+el
,
3. &ye-scanning . . . . . . . . . 66
16. 4rea'hing ;Cali0ra'ion>
11. 7and and arm ges'ures
1#. 7and-'o-face ges'ures
1*. Arm and leg 0arriers
1,. =eadiness ges'ures
1.. Cour'ship ges'ures . . . . . . . . 66
11. 7ead ges'ures
17. $moking ges'ures
12. @8nership ges'ures
13. @'her ges'ures . . . . . . . . . 66
1
ATTEND TO THE CLIENT PH:SICALL:
1. Physical a''ending . . . . . . . . 66
#. Modali'ies of physical a''ending
1> Dis'ance . . . . . . . . 66
#> Done dis'ance
;1> -n'ima'e Aone
;#> Personal Aone
;*> $ocial Aone
;,> Pu0lic Aone
;.> Counselling Aone
*> $quaring . . . . . . . . 66
,> $ea'ing arrangemen's
;1> Coopera'i+e posi'ion
;#> Corner posi'ion
;*> -ndependen' posi'ion
;,> Compe'i'i+e-Defensi+e posi'ion
;.> Counselling Posi'ion
.> &yeing . . . . . . . . . 66
1> @pen pos'ure
7> "eaning for8ard
2> =emaining rela'i+ely rela/ed
3> Mirroring . . . . . . . . 66
16> &ncouragemen's 'o 'alk
*. -ni'ial silence
,. $ilence in 'he middle of 'he session . . . . . . 66
/
LET THE CLIENT TELL THE STOR:
1. &/pressing . . . . . . . . . 66
#. "e+els of e/pression
1> =i'ual
#> =epor' . . . . . . . . . 66
*> :udgemen'
,> )eeling
.> 9u'-le+el
*. Types of pro0lem si'ua'ion . . . . . . . 66
.
1> &/perience
#> Affec'
*> 4eha+iour
,. "is'ening . . . . . . . . . 66
1> (inds of lis'ening
;1> )ake lis'ening
;#> Par'ial lis'ening
;*> $elec'i+e lis'ening
;,> ProEec'i+e lis'ening
;.> )il'ered lis'ening
;1> To'al lis'ening
#> =easons for inadequa'e lis'ening. . . . . . 66
;1> Physical 'iredness
;#> Preoccupa'ion
;*> A''rac'ion
;,> Dis'rac'ion
;.> $imilari'y of pro0lem
;1> Dissimilari'y of pro0lem
;7> @+er-eagerness . . . . . . 66
;
REFLECT THE CONTENT OF 9HAT THE CLIENT SAID
1. =esponding . . . . . . . . . 66
#. 7elping skills pre-'es'
*. (inds of responses as per &-$PF . . . . . . 66
1> &+alua'i+e or ad+ising response
#> -n'erpre'a'i+e or analysing response
*> $uppor' or reassuring response
,> Pro0ing or ques'ioning response . . . . . . 66
1> )acili'a'i+e ques'ion
a. -nforma'ion ques'ion
0. $pecific ques'ion
c. &la0ora'i+e ques'ion
d. Personal affec' ques'ion
#> !on-facili'a'i+e ques'ion . . . . . 66
a. Curious ques'ion
0. Closed ques'ion
c. T8o ques'ions
d. Too many ques'ions
e. Con'inuous ques'ions . . . . . 66
f. ?hy ques'ion
g. "eading ques'ion
h. Threa'ening ques'ion
i. Am0iguous ques'ion
E. Poorly 'imed ques'ion
k. GuiA programme ques'ion
.> Fnders'anding or paraphrasing response . . . . . 66
1> -n'ernal and e/'ernal frame of reference
#> Fsefulness of unders'anding response
,. =eflec' 'he con'en' . . . . . . . . 66
.. (inds of responses as per ego-s'a'es
1> &go-s'a'es
#> =esponses from ego-s'a'es
1
1. =esponses +ie8ed from &-$PF and ego-s'a'es
7. =esponses seen as 'ransac'ions . . . . . . . 66
1> Complemen'ary 'ransac'ion
#> Crossed 'ransac'ion
*> Fl'erior 'ransac'ion
2. $pacing responses
-
REFLECT THE FEELING OF THE CLIENT
1. )eeling % emo'ion . . . . . . . . 66
#. The feeling char'
<
REFLECT THE DEEPER FEELING
"eads % Manner of communica'ing responses . . . . . 66
4
ALLO9 THE CLIENT TO SPEAK SUFFICIENTL: ON THE FEELING
2
FACILITATE THE CLIENT TO RELEASE STRONG NEGATI6E FEELINGS
1. 9rief . . . . . . . . . . 66
#. Anger
*. 9uil'
80
PINPOINT THE PRO5LEDM AND ASK FOR A RECENT E6ENT
A. PINPOINTING THE PRO5LEM
1. De+elopmen'al pro0lems . . . . . . . 66
#. Personali'y disorders
1> Paranoid personali'y disorder
#> $chiAoid personali'y disorder
*> $chiAo'ypal personali'y disorder
,> An'isocial personali'y disorder
.> 4orderline personali'y disorder
1> 7is'rionic personali'y disorder . . . . . . 66
7> !arcissis'ic personali'y disorder
2> A+oidan' personali'y disorder
3> Dependen' personali'y disorder
16> @0sessi+e-compulsi+e personali'y disorder
11> Depressi+e personali'y disorder ;=esearch cri'eria>
1#> Passi+e-aggressi+e personali'y disorder ;=esearch cri'eria>
1*> $elf-defea'ing personali'y disorder ;=esearch cri'eria>
*. $chiAophrenia ;Psychosis> . . . . . . . 66
1> $chiAophrenia
;1> Paranoid 'ype
;#> DisorganiAed 'ype
7
;*> Ca'a'onic 'ype
,. @'her psycho'ic disorders . . . . . . . 66
1> $chiAophreniform disorder
#> $chiAoaffec'i+e disorder
*> Delusional disorder
,> 4rief psycho'ic disorder
.> $hared psycho'ic disorder
1> Psycho'ic disorder due 'o a general medical condi'ion
7> $u0s'ance-induced psycho'ic disorder
.. Mood disorders . . . . . . . . . 66
1> Mood episodes
;1> MaEor depressi+e episode
;#> Manic episode
;*> Mi/ed episode
;,> 7ypomanic episode
#> Mood disorders proper
A. Depressi+e disorders . . . . . . 66
;1> MaEor depressi+e disorder< $ingle episode
;#> MaEor depressi+e disorder< =ecurren'
;*> Dys'hymic disorder
4. 4ipolar disorders . . . . . . 66
;1> 4ipolar - disorder< $ingle manic episode
;#> 4ipolar - disorder< Mos' recen' episode hypomanic
;*> 4ipolar - disorder< Mos' recen' episode manic
;,> 4ipolar - disorder< Mos' recen' episode mi/ed
;.> 4ipolar - disorder< Mos' recen' episode depressed
;1> 4ipolar - disorder< Mos' recen' episode unspecified
;7> 4ipolar -- disorder
1. An/ie'y disorders . . . . . . . . 66
1> Panic disorder
;1> Panic a''ack
;#> Agorapho0ia
;*> Panic disorder proper
a. Panic disorder 8i'hou' agorapho0ia
0. Panic disorder 8i'h agorapho0ia
;,> Agorapho0ia 8i'hou' his'ory of panic disorder
;.> $pecific pho0ia ;)ormerly simple pho0ia>
;1> $ocial pho0ia ;$ocial an/ie'y disorder>
#> @0sessi+e-compulsi+e disorder . . . . 66
*> Pos''rauma'ic s'ress disorder ;PTD>
,> Acu'e s'ress disorder
.> 9eneraliAed an/ie'y disorder
7. Dissocia'i+e disorder . . . . . . . . 66
1> Dissocia'i+e amnesia
#> Dissocia'i+e fugue
*> Dissocia'i+e iden'i'y disorder
,> Depersonalisa'ion disorder
.> Dissocia'i+e 'rance disorder ;=esearch cri'eria>
2. -mpulse con'rol disorders . . . . . . . 66
1> Common fea'ures of all impulse disorders
#> -n'ermi''en' e/plosi+e disorder
*> (lep'omania
,> Pyromania
.> Pa'hological gam0ling
1> Tricho'illomania
3. $oma'oform disorders . . . . . . . . 66
2
1> $oma'isa'ion disorder
#> Fndifferen'ia'ed soma'oform disorder
*> Con+ersion disorder
,> Pain disorder
.> 7ypochondriasis
1> 4ody dysmorphic disorder
16. $leep disorders . . . . . . . . . 66
Primary sleep disorders
A. Dyssomanias
1> Primary insomnia
#> Primary hypersomnia
*> !arcolepsy
,> 4rea'hing-rela'ed sleep disorder
.> Circadian rhy'hm sleep disorder
4. Parasomnias . . . . . . . . 66
1> !igh'mare disorder
#> $leep 'error disorder
*> $leep8alking disorder
11. $e/ual and gender iden'i'y disorders . . . . . . 66
1> $e/ual desire disorders
;1> 7ypoac'i+e se/ual desire disorder
;#> $e/ual a+ersion disorder
#> $e/ual arousal disorders
;1> )emale se/ual arousal disorder
;#> Male erec'ile disorder
*> @rgasmic disorders . . . . . . 66
1> )emale orgasmic disorder
#> Male orgasmic disorder
*> Prema'ure eEacula'ion
,> $e/ual pain disorders
1> Dyspareunia
#> 5aginismus
.> Paraphilias . . . . . . . 66
1> &/hi0i'ionism
#> )e'ishism
*> )ro''eurism
,> Pedophilia
.> $e/ual masochism
1> $e/ual sadism
7> Trans+es'ic fe'ishism
2> 5oyeurism
1> 9ender iden'i'y disorders . . . . . 66
1#. &a'ing disorders
1> Anore/ia ner+osa
#> 4ulimia ner+osa
1*. AdEus'men' disorders
1,. )ac'i'ious disorders . . . . . . . . 66
1> )ac'i'ious disorder
#> )ac'i'ious disorder 0y pro/y ;=esearch cri'eria>
1.. $u0s'ance rela'ed disorders . . . . . . . 66
1> $u0s'ance dependence
#> $u0s'ance a0use
*> $u0s'ance in'o/ica'ion
,> $u0s'ance 8i'hdra8al
.> Alcohol in'o/ica'ion
1> Alcohol 8i'hdra8al
3
11. Delirium< demen'ia and amnes'ic disorders
1> Delirium
;1> Delirium due 'o a general medical condi'ion
;#> $u0s'ance in'o/ica'ion delirium
;*> $u0s'ance 8i'hdra8al delirium
;,> Delirium due 'o mul'iple ae'iologies
#> Demen'ia
;1> Demen'ia of 'he AlAheimerBs 'ype
;#> 5ascular demen'ia
;*> Demen'ia due 'o o'her general medical condi'ions
a. Demen'ia due 'o 7-5 Disease
0. Demen'ia due 'o head 'rauma
c. Demen'ia due 'o ParkinsonBs disease
d. Demen'ia due 'o 7un'ing'onBs disease
e. Demen'ia due 'o PickBs disease
f. Demen'ia due 'o Creu'Afeld'-:ako0 disease
;,> $u0s'ance-induced persis'ing demen'ia
;.> Demen'ia due 'o mul'iple ae'iologies
*> Amnes'ic disorders
;1> Amnes'ic disorder due 'o a general medical condi'ion
;#> $u0s'ance-induced persis'ing amnes'ic disorder
17. Disorders usually firs' diagnosed in infancy< childhood< or adolescence . . 66
7> Men'al re'arda'ion
2> "earning disorders ;)ormerly academic skills disorders>
;1> =eading disorder
;#> Ma'hema'ics disorder
;*> Disorder 8i'h 8ri''en e/pression
3> Mo'or skills disorder . . . . . . 66
16> Communica'ion disorder
;1> &/pressi+e language disorder
;#> Mi/ed recep'i+e-e/pressi+e language disorder
;*> Phonological disorder
;,> $'u''ering
11> Per+asi+e de+elopmen'al disorder . . . . 66
;1> Au'is'ic disorder
;#> =e''Bs disorder
;*> Childhood disin'egra'i+e disorder
;,> AspergerBs disorder
1#> A''en'ion-defici' and disrup'i+e 0eha+iour disorders . . 66
;1> A''en'ion-defici'Hhyperac'i+i'y disorder
;#> Conduc' disorder
;*> @pposi'ional defian' disorder
1*> )eeding and ea'ing disorders of infancy or early childhood
;1> Pica
;#> =umina'ion disorder
;*> )eeding disorder of infancy or early childhood
1,> Tic disorders . . . . . . . 66
;1> Toure''eBs disorder
;#> Chronic mo'or or +ocal 'ic disorder
;*> Transien' 'ic disorder
1.> &limina'ion disorders . . . . . . 66
;1> &ncopresis
;#> &nuresis
11> @'her disorders of infancy< childhood< or adolescence
;1> $epara'ion an/ie'y disorder
;#> $elec'i+e mu'ism
16
;*> =eac'i+e a''achmen' disorder of infancy or early childhood
;,> $'ereo'ypic mo+emen' disorder . . . . 66

5. ASKING FOR A RECENT E6ENT

II. REFRAMING
A. REFRAMING
1. Meaning reframing
#. Con'e/' reframing
*. Ad+an'ages of reframing . . . . . . . . 66
5. SKILLS
1. 9enuineness . . . . . . . . 66
1> Fnfeigning unders'anding
#> &/pressing direc'ly
*> =esponding immedia'ely
,> 4eing spon'aneous
.> Manifes'ing +ulnera0ili'y
1> Clearing pipelines
7> 4eing non-defensi+e
2> 4eing consis'en'
#. =espec' . . . . . . . . . 66
1> 4eing a+aila0le
#> Paying a''en'ion
*> 4eing for 'he clien'
,> Physically priAing
.> 5aluing di+ersi'y
1> 5aluing indi+iduali'y
7> Assuming good8ill
2> )ai'h in hisHher po'en'ial
3> )ai'h in hisHher responsi0ili'y
16> 9i+ing freedom
11> =emaining neu'ral
1#> 4eing hones'
*. 4asic empa'hy . . . . . . . . 66
I A. Componen's of empa'hy
1> Fnders'anding
#> Communica'ion
*> To 'he sa'isfac'ion of 'he clien'
4. $ympa'hy-empa'hy comparison
C. 4eha+iour modali'ies
1> =epor' feeling and con'en' ;&/perience or 0eha+iour>
#> Checking accuracy
*> Picking up core messages
11
,> (eeping 'he clien' on hisHher agenda
.> 4eing fle/i0le
1> !o' parro'ing
7> !o craAy 'alk
2> !o da8dling
3> !o long-8indedness
16> !o' 0eing impulsi+e
11> !o'ing clien' resis'ance
,. Ad+anced empa'hy . . . . . . . 66
1> &/pressing 'he implied
#> -den'ifying 'hemes
*> Connec'ing islands
,> Concluding from premises
.> "ess 'o 'he more
1> $ummariAing
.. Concre'eness . . . . . . . . 66
1> @ne a' a 'ime
#> Direc' ques'ions
*> =ecen' e+en'
,> C-B s'a'emen'
.> $pecific goals
1> $pecific means
7> Presen' feeling
1. Challenging ;Caring Confron'a'ion or )eed0ack> . . . . 66
1> Challenging discrepancies 0e'8een
;1> ?ha' heHshe says and does
;#> 7isHher +ie8 of himHherself and o'hersB +ie8 of himHher
;*> ?ha' heHshe is and 8ha' heHshe 8an's 'o 0e
;,> 5er0al and non+er0al e/pressions
;.> Pas' and presen' u''erances
#> Challenging dis'or'ions
*> Challenging games
,> Challenging e/cuses
.> Challenging irra'ional inner rule
1> (inds of challenging
7> 9uidelines for challenging . . . . 66
;1> 4ased on rela'ionship
;#> @u' of lo+e
;*> ?i'h care
;,> Depending on clien'Bs s'a'e
;.> 4uild on success
;1> 4e 'en'a'i+e
;7> @8n your 'hough's and feelings
;2> Presen' i' neu'rally
;3> =es' 'he responsi0ili'y on clien'
;16> Do no' o+erdo i'
;11>4e open 'o challenge yourself
;1#> 4e specific
;1*> Challenge s'reng'h ra'her 'han 8eakness
;1,> &ncourage self-challenge
;1.> Presen' challenges as feed0acks
7. $elf-disclosure . . . . . . . . 66
1> (inds of self-disclosure
#> $elf-disclosure is a challenge
*> Ad+an'ages of self-disclosure
;1> )reedom from fear
1#
;#> Appearing human
;*> Modelling
;,> Direc'ion
,> Dangers of self-disclosure
;1> 4urdensome
;#> Appearing 8eak
;*> Domina'ing
;,> Coun'er 'ransference
.> )acili'a'i+e self-disclosure
;1> =ele+an' and selec'i+e
;#> Appropria'e
;*> )le/i0le
2. -mmediacy ;Direc'< Mu'ual Talk> . . . . . 66
1> (inds of immediacy
;1> @+erall rela'ionship immediacy
;#> 7ere-and-no8 immediacy
#> Componen's of immediacy . . . . 66
;1> A8areness
;#> Communica'ion
;*> Asser'i+eness
*> Purpose of immediacy
;1> To 0e immedia'e 8i'h counsellor
;#> To 0e immedia'e 8i'h o'hers
,> Con'e/' of immediacy
;1> Trus' issue
;#> Dependency
;*> Differen' s'ages
;,> Direc'ionless session . . . . 66
;.> A''rac'ions
;1> $ocial dis'ance
;7> Anger
88
PERSONALI=E THE CLIENT>S DEFICIENC:
PERSONALI=ING
1. ?ha' one does . . . . . . . . . 66
#. ?ha' one does no' do
8.
FIND OUT ALTERERNATI6E FRAME OF REFERENCE
1. $ol+a0le pro0lem . . . . . . . . 66
#. Concen'ra'ion on resources
*. Posi'i+e fu'ure
,. Dreadful fu'ure
.. @pen fu'ure
1. Ano'her angle . . . . . . . . . 66
7. $of' pedalling
2. T8o perspec'i+es
1*
3. Changing roles
16. Challenging +alues
11. Challenging 0eliefs
1#. Fsing C-B s'a'emen' . . . . . . . . 66
81
EMPLO: PRO5LEM7SOL6ING TECHNIQUES) 5EHA6IOURAL STRATEGIES) AND
ACTION PROGRAMMES
INITIATING
1. )ind a le+erage . . . . . . . . . 66
1> A''end 'o crisis firs'
#> A''end 'o pain
*> A''end 'o 8ha' clien' considers impor'an'
,> A''end 'o managea0le su0-pro0lem
.> A''end 'o 'he pro0lem 'ha' 8ill yield general impro+emen'
1> A''end 'o pro0lems for 8hich 0enefi's 8ill ou'8eigh 'he cos's
7> -ns'il confidence in 'he clien'
#. 7elping clien's commi' 'hemsel+es . . . . . . 66
*. &conomy in ac'ion
,. =eaching 'he goal 'hrough s'ra'egies
1> $uspend Eudgemen'
#> &ncourage more s'ra'egies
*> &ncourage craAy 'hinking
,> "e' 'he clien' choose a s'ra'egy
.> Make use of old s'ra'egy
1> $us'ain 'he s'ra'egy
.. CounselleeBs 'ask . . . . . . . . 66
1> ?illingness 'o appropria'e
#> Courage 'o carry ou'
*> $us'ained a''emp'
,> =esuming af'er a relapse
.> -n+es'ing 'he ma/imum . . . . . . . 66
8/
INSIGHTS
HELPFUL TIPS
1. Change 8ha' can 0e changed . . . . . . . 66
#. "e' 'he clien' accep' gracefully 8ha' canno' 0e changed
*. Prepare 'he clien' for 'he 8ors'
,. Prepare 'he clien' 'o 0e happy 8i'h 8ha'e+er decision heHshe made
8;
DEFINE AND OPERATIONALI=E THE GOAL
A. DEFINING THE GOAL
1. Day-dream 'he goal . . . . . . . . 66
1,
#. Po8er of possi0ili'ies
*. Define 'he goal
1> @u'come-orien'ed goals
#> $pecific goals
*> Measura0le goals
,> 9oals 8i'h impac'
.> =ealis'ic goals
1> 9oals 8i'h no o0s'acles . . . . 66
7> 9oals under con'rol
2> &conomic goals
3> 9oals consonan' 8i'h clien'Bs +alues
16> 9oals 8i'h a 'ime-frame
11> $a'isfying goals
1#>
5. KEEP THE GOAL SMART
1. $pecific goal . . . . . . . . . 66
#. Measura0le goal
*. Achie+a0le goal
,. =ealis'ic goal
.. Tangi0le goal
C. OPERATIONALI=E THE GOAL
8-
MAKE CONTRACTS AND E6ALUATE
A. MAKING CONTRACTS
5. E6ALUATING
1. @ngoing e+alua'ion . . . . . . . . 66
#. Clien'-cen'red e+alua'ion
*. $elf-e+alua'ion
,. Ad+an'ages of e+alua'ion
1> $uppor'
#> 4eing 8i'h
*> @+ercoming ini'ial difficul'ies
,> 7onouring 'he con'rac's
.> Modifying goals
1> Modifying s'ra'egies . . . . . . . 66
7> 9e''ing s'reng'hened
2> "earning process
3> Ackno8ledges learning
16> Moaning failure
11> )ailure is a learning
1#> Cele0ra'ing +ic'ory
1*> &nhancing rela'ionship
.. =e+ie8ing
ENDNOTES
1.
5I5LIOGRAPH:
A. PREFACE
?i'h 'he e/perience in 'he field of counselling and in 'raining counsellors< - came 'o realiAe 'ha' 'he
me'hod 8e use can 0e really made simple so 'ha' one can easily follo8 'he s'eps of counselling. @+er 'he
years< ha+ing o0ser+ed e/per's in 'he field of counselling ho8 'hey did successful counselling< - 'hough' of
de+ising a forma' of s'eps one could follo8 in order 'o do effec'i+e counselling. Thus 8as 0orn a counselling
forma'.
$ince - 8as s'ric'ly follo8ing kno8n s'eps or s'ages of e/per's in 'he field of counselling< - could
gi+e 'he counselling forma' only as a corollary 'o 'he counselling s'ages. ?hile prac'ising 'his procedure -
o0ser+ed 0o'h in me and in 'he counsellor 'rainees a cer'ain 'iredness and e+en confusion 8i'h regard 'o 'he
s'ages< skills< and forma' 'o 0e follo8ed. Therefore< - 'hough' of 8ri'ing a 0ook on counselling using only
'he forma' - ha+e de+ised 8hich - found easy 'o follo8. Tha' had 0een 'he e/perience of 'he counsellor
'rainees 'oo. &+en my colleagues in 'he field of counselling ad+ised me 'o recas' 'he 8hole 8ri'ing on
counselling according 'o 'he forma'.
This a''emp' does no' mean lea+ing ou' any impor'an' ma'erials. -n fac'< - ha+e decided 'o keep all
'he ma'erials found in 'he 0ooks on CDynamics of Counselling<B and C$kills of CounsellingB in'ac' and< of
course< upda'ed. The ma'erials 8ill no' 0e found in 'he form of s'ages as - did in 'he pre+ious 0ooks
follo8ing 'he de+elopmen'al model.
4y 'his< i' is hoped< 'ha' - shall firs' enuncia'e 'he counselling forma' 'ha' has 0een in use for some
years and - shall proceed s'ep-0y-s'ep follo8ing 'he sequence of 'he counselling forma'.
Counselling is an ar' and as such like any ar' i' requires cer'ain specific skills if i' is 'o 0e effec'i+e.
$kills are like 'echniques rela'ed 'o par'icular fields. @ne may ha+e a lo' of good8ill 0u' may no' ha+e 'he
necessary skills or 'ools 'o deal 8i'h 'he Eo0 concerned. 7ence 'he need of acquiring 'he skills 'ha' goes 8i'h
'he efficiency of a gi+en Eo0. )or ins'ance< 'ake a person 8ho is a 0orn ar'is'. 7eHshe has only 'he po'ency 'o
de+elop hisHher 'alen's of an ar'is'< 0u' in fac' heHshe may clumsily do 'he pain'ing 8i'hou' proper ini'ia'ion
and acquisi'ion of 'he skills. 7eHshe may do a li''le 0e''er 'han 8e do Eus' 0ecause heHshe is na'urally more
gif'ed 'han 8e are. 4u' hisHher performance can 0e enhanced if heHshe has 'he 'raining required and acquires
'he skills necessary.
The model - presen' in 'his 0ook is called CMicroskill Model.B -' is defini'ely an a''emp' 'o 0reak 'he
skills in'o smaller uni's for 'he sake of 'he learning process. Any'hing in smaller dose is assimila'ed more
easily 'han a 0igger chunk. This is 'he principle 'ha' - keep in mind 8hile presen'ing 'he model. - 8ould
also like 'o cau'ion you agains' 'he danger of 0eing 0ogged a' e+ery s'ep forge''ing 'he 'o'al +ision. There
may 0e '8o dangers in approaching counselling. The one is 'o 0reak do8n in'o smaller uni's and ge'
en'angled in 'he s'eps 8i'hou' looking a' 'he 8hole process 'aken 'oge'her. 7ere one may lose 'he 'o'al
+ision and unnecessarily concen'ra'e on a small uni' more 'han needed. The o'her danger of seeing 'he
8hole process of counselling 'oge'her as in'egra'i+e< 'hough ad+an'ageous in i'self< has 'he 'endency 'o
o+erlook each s'ep needed. @ne could make 'he mis'ake of 0eing +ery superficial 8i'hou' any su0s'ance
since 'he s'eps are no' deal' 8i'h sufficien'ly ei'her for lack of skills or lack of 'ime. Microskill Model helps
you 'o mas'er each s'ep me'iculously and keeps you reminded 'ha' 'he counselling has 'o 0e 'aken as a 8hole
11
in an in'egra'i+e 8ay. A 0alance of 0eing on a s'ep and looking a' 'he end 8ill 0e 'he 0es' a''i'ude one could
'ake in approaching counselling.
Jou are in+i'ed 'o approach counselling as a 8hole organism 8hile concen'ra'ing on each s'ep.
?hile clim0ing up 'he s'airs< your in'en'ion is 'o reach ups'airs 0u' your fee' are in con'ac' 8i'h e+ery s'ep of
'he s'airs 8hile you 'ry 'o reach ups'airs. Tha' is 8ha' - precisely mean 8hen - in'roduce 'he Cmicroskill
model.B
Cer'ainly - am no' reflec'ing in 'he airK - 0ase my findings on 'he praise8or'hy 8orks of 'he gian's in
'he field of counselling. Carl =. =ogers forms 'he 0asic founda'ion of 'he edifice of counselling< 8i'h =o0er'
=. Carkhuff gi+ing a direc'ion and 9erard &gan ela0ora'ing on 'he skills. Again =ichard !elson-:onesB
prac'ical approach finds a place in my a''emp'< and Adrian 5an (aam influences my o+erall approach 'o
counselling. 4esides 'hese< - hea+ily rely on my o8n e/perienceK for< e/perience is 'he 0es' 'eacher< 'hey say.
Again i' is said 'ha' if you 8an' 'o learn a su0Eec' you should 'each 'ha' su0Eec'. My acquisi'ion of 'he skills
is more 0y 'eaching 'han 0y 0eing 'augh'. $ince - in'end 'his 0ook for 8ider circula'ion among 'he persons
of counselling profession 0y necessi'y - am cons'rained 'o speak in a 'echnical language< of course< 'ha'
8hich can 0e unders'ood 0y 'he non-professionals as 8ell.
A 8ord a0ou' 'he +oca0ulary - ha+e employed in 'he 0ook 8ill 0e in place. The 8ords CcounselleeB
and Cclien'B are in'erchangea0ly used. As - 8ri'e each 8ord and e+ery sen'ence< - imagine 'ha' - am speaking
'o persons 8ho hear a0ou' counselling for 'he firs' 'ime. $ince - do my 8ork 8i'h 'his a''i'ude< - hope 'ha'
you 8ill 0e a0le 'o unders'and 8ha' - 8ri'e. ?i'h 'his 0ackground informa'ion 0eing supplied righ' a' 'he
0eginning - in+i'e you 'o go 'hrough 'he pages 'ha' follo8< 8ishing you a pleasan' and re8arding reading.
D. :ohn An'ony< @)M Cap.
:anuary #663
17
5. INTRODUCTION
Counselling is 'ruly a human encoun'er. -' is no' merely a chance mee'ing or a planned mee'ing 8i'h
ano'her human indi+idual 8here 8e hold our o8n masks and recogniAe only 'he mask in 'he o'her.
&ncoun'er is differen'ia'ed from mee'ing since 'he former goes 0eyond 'he la''er and 'he C8e e/perienceB
8hich emerges in encoun'er has a deeper meaning and is per+aded 0y a much more genuine humani'y and
affec'ion 'han is usually 'he case in rou'ine mee'ings 8hich fill our daily li+es of'en marked 0y indifference.
7uman encoun'ers are 'he core of counselling and 'he 0asis of change and gro8'h.
1
Adiran 5an (aam
speaks of human encoun'er 'hus:
An authentic human encounter always implies that I am, at least for some moments, totally present
to a person, that I am fully with him. In a true encounter, I participate in the personal existence of another
for whom I really care. To participate means literally to take part in. Thus encounter entails that I share the
life of the other, the existence of the other, and his way of being in the world.
2

-n 'his con'e/' of encoun'er in 8hich counselling 'akes place< 8e find 'ha' i' is a '8o-8ay
colla0ora'i+e process. Counsellors pro+ide s'imula'ion 'o 'he clien's and 'he clien's 'ake ad+an'age of 'he
s'imula'ion pro+ided and help 'hemsel+es for more effec'i+e 8ays of li+ing. -f only counsellors 8ere 'o
s'ri+e hard 8i'hou' 'he clien's coopera'ing and 'aking 'heir share of responsi0ili'y< counselling 8ill 0e a one-
8ay 'raffic 'ha' 8ill sa0o'age 'he effec'i+eness of 'he +ery process of counselling. $ince i' is a colla0ora'i+e
concern< 0o'h 'he counsellors and 'he clien's con'ri0u'e grea'ly 'heir share in 'he human encoun'er 'ha'
facili'a'es gro8'h and change.
*
-' 0ecomes clear 8hen 8e analyse 'he direc'ion 'ha' emerges in counselling.
?hen a counsellor counsels a clien' no one 8ill 0e a0le 'o predic' 0eforehand 8ha' direc'ion 'he counselling
8ill 'ake since i' is no' en'irely 8i'h 'he counsellor or 8i'h 'he counsellee 'ha' 'he direc'ion res's.
,
The
human encoun'er 8hich is deeply caring 0rings a0ou' a direc'ion 'ha' has 0een fa'hered 0y 'he counsellor and
'he counsellee and hence i' is righ'ly a human encoun'er 8hich is colla0ora'i+e.
?e see 'his colla0ora'i+e human encoun'er as a process of in'ers'imula'ion. $ince no encoun'er is a
neu'ral 'ype of mee'ing nor is i' a one-8ay 'raffic< 'he in'erac'ion 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee
is 0ound 'o 0e in'ers'imula'ing. ?ha' could 0e 'he implica'ion of counselling 0eing a process of
in'ers'imula'ionL -' simply indica'es 'ha' a counsellor 0y a''ending in+ol+es 'he clien' and 'his is 'he firs'
s'imula'ion. 4ecause 'he clien' is in+ol+ed heHshe 0egins 'o e/press and e/plore hisHher concerns 8hich
make 'he counsellor unders'and 'he clien' and 'o respond 'o hisHher in'ernal frame of reference and 'his is 'he
second s'imula'ion in 'he counselling in'er+ie8K 'hus mu'ually reinforcing each o'herBs effor' 'he counselling
glides on. 4u' for 'he mu'ual s'imula'ion< 'he counselling 8ould ge' s'uck mid8ay. ?e come across cer'ain
counsellors 8ho are no' a0le 'o pro+ide s'imula'ion 0y appropria'e responding and pro0ing and hence lack
'he knack 'o reframe 'he mind of 'he clien'. A' 'imes< 'he clien's are so dull and unresponding 'ha' 'he
counsellors do no' ge' 'he minimal le+el of s'imula'ion 'o main'ain 'heir effor' 8hich is sho8n in one 8ay or
o'her as reluc'ance 'o counsel par'icular 'ypes of counsellees.
.
-n a 'ruly human< caring< colla0ora'i+e and in'ers'imula'ing encoun'er 'he counsellor ge's in+ol+ed in
'he personal life of ano'her human person 8ho needs 'he counsellor in a +ery special 8ay in some phase of
hisHher life and de+elopmen'.
1
@f'en 8e do no' fully realiAe 'he 'herapeu'ic effec' of presence. )or a child
'he presence of 'he mo'her is comfor'ing< for a lo+er 'he presence of 'he 0elo+ed is pleasura0le< for a friend
'he presence of hisHher friend is reassuring< for a person in 0erea+emen' 'he presence of hisHher colleagues is
consoling and 'hus 8e can go on enumera'ing 'he effec' of mere presence 'o human life enhancemen'. Tha'
is 8hy =a0indrana'h Tagore sings of 'he 0eau'y of mere presence in an ecs'a'ic +ein in 9i'anEali. 7e 0egs
'he "ord 'o gran' him 'he indulgence of si''ing for a momen' 0y 7is side.
7
This presence in order 'o 0e
'o'ally presen' 'o 'he clien' in+ol+es 0y i's +ery na'ure 0reaking 'hrough oneMs unconscious self-preoccupa'ion
and lea+ing 0ehind oneMs self-cen'red 8orld of daily in+ol+emen'.
2
&+en if you are only a fe8 minu'es 8i'h
'he clien'< le' 'he clien' enEoy your 'o'al presence.
12
The reasons 'ha' compel us 'o accep' counselling as a human encoun'er< simul'aneously impress
upon us 'ha' counselling is a li+ing< organic process.
3
The li+ing organism adap's i'self 'o 'he cons'an'ly
changing en+ironmen'al forces and in 'he same 8ay 0o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee keep 'hemsel+es
adEus'ing no' only 'o each o'her 0u' 'o e+ery ne8 emergence of insigh's in 'heir e/ploring< unders'anding<
and ac'ing 'he 'hree main phases of counselling.
7a+ing spoken a li''le in general< le' me no8 propose a 'en'a'i+e defini'ion or descrip'ion of
counselling. ?C$unselling is n in#er'ers$nl nd c$ll"$r#i@e 'r$cess "* A!ic! $ne (cili##es gr$A#!
$r c!nge in n$#!er "* d$'#ing cer#in ##i#udes nd e&'l$*ing cer#in sBills ''r$'ri#e #$ #!e
c$n#eC#.>
80
The 8ord Cin#er'ers$nl> deno'es a rela'ionship 0e'8een '8o human indi+iduals. According 'o 'he
e/is'en'ial philosophy< - crea'e a 8orld of my o8n and you crea'e yours. ?e are indeed 8orlds apar' unless
8e decide 'o en'er in'o 'he realm of 'he o'her and le' 'he o'her en'er in'o ours. 7ere 8e need 'o gi+e more
emphasis 'o 'he quali'y of 'he rela'ionship. !o' e+ery 'ype of rela'ionship is conduci+e for counselling. 4y
'he quali'y of rela'ionship - mean a 8hole lo' of nuances 'ha' uphold human rela'ionship and more
specifically a non-possessi+e 8arm'h 0orn of genuineness and nourished 0y sensi'i+eness 'o 'he 'hough's and
feelings of 'he clien'.
11
The 8ord Cc$ll"$r#i@e> means 'ha' 0o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee ha+e 'o 8ork 'oge'her
for 'he success of 'he counselling. The responsi0ili'y res's 8i'h 0o'h of 'hem and more 8i'h 'he counsellee.
-f any one of 'hem is no' minimally coopera'ing< 'he ou'come 8ill no' 0e encouraging. - ha+e me' paren's
8ho compel me 'o gi+e counselling 'o 'heir un8illing 8ards. Their children ha+e no need of counselling<
perhaps 'he paren's are more in need. ?hene+er counselling is a''emp'ed on un8illing clien's< i' does no'
8orks. The clien's 'hemsel+es sa0o'age 'he 8hole process and 'he resul's of counselling. )inally decisions
are 'o 0e made 0y 'he clien's. The clien's 8ill no' make decisions< and e+en if 'hey did make 'o please you<
'hey 8ill no' carry 'hem ou'. Therefore< such a''emp's could 0e a colossal 8as'e. @ne of my professors ga+e
me an insigh' in'o ho8 he used 'o handle such si'ua'ion of un8illing clien's 8ho are 'hrus' in'o counselling
as manda'ory 0y 9o+ernmen' officials or 0y 8ell-meaning paren's. -n a gen'le 8ay< 'he professor used 'o 'ell
'he clien's 'ha' 'hey ha+e 0een referred 'o him for counselling. Jou are free 'o 8as'e 'he 'ime 8e are 'oge'her
or 'o profi' from 'his in'er+ie8< he 8ould say. -f a' all you are in'eres'ed 'o profi' from 'his< - am a' your
ser+ice. A' 'imes 'his approach 8orks. Mos' of 'he 'ime< 'he 8illingness of 'he clien's is no' easily
for'hcoming.
The 8ord C'r$cess> indica'es mo+emen'< a for8ard 'hrus'< a flo8ing. -' is opposed 'o any'hing
fi/ed< defini'e< immu'a0le and non-nego'ia0le. The 9reek philosopher 7eracli'us said 'ha' 'he 8orld is in a
flu/ and as an e/ample he said 'ha' 8e can ne+er se' foo' in 'he same ri+er '8ice< for 8hen 8e s'epped in'o i'
for 'he second 'ime 'he ri+er 'ha' flo8ed 8hen 8e s'epped in'o i' for 'he firs' 'ime has already gone a8ay.
)or him 'he sym0ol of change is fire< 8hich keeps changing cons'an'ly. Counselling is like a fire 'ha' keeps
cons'an'ly 'ransforming. The changes and 'urns 'ha' are 0eing 'aken 8i'h e+ery s'ep in 'he counselling
in'er+ie8 is incredi0ly in a flu/ and 'herefore i' is more ap' 'o speak of 'he in'erac'ion as a process 'han
any'hing else.
1#
The 8ord C(cili##es> pu's 'he 8hole pic'ure of counselling in 'he con'e/' of equali'y< of
colla0ora'i+e par'nership suffused 8i'h a 'remendous respec' for 'he a8esome person of 'he o'her. -n some
cen'res of counselling< counsellors scrupulously a+oid using 'he 8ord ChelpingB so 'ha' 'he 'rainees do no' ge'
'he impression e+en unconsciously of gi+ing some'hing 'o 'he clien'. 7ar+ey :ackins has 'ermed his me'hod
of counselling as C=e-e+alua'ion Co-Counselling.B 4y 'he 8ord Cco-counsellingB he means 'o respec' 'he
digni'y of 'he o'her and also nega'es 'he idea of one-up-and-one-do8n s'a'us 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he
counsellee. )acili'a'ion can 0e unders'ood more in 'erms of s'imula'ion< an in+i'a'ion< 8hich a clien' can
accep'< or decline. Though 8e 'hink of colla0ora'ion and equali'y among 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee
8e should no' forge' 'ha' counselling is unila'eral in 'he sense 'ha' 'he focus of a''en'ion is on 'he pro0lem of
'he counsellee and no' on 'ha' of 'he counsellor.
1*
&+en 'hough i' is unila'eral i' is no' helping a helpless
person 0u' i' is seriously s'imula'ing 'he clien' 'o 0e a8ake and asser'ing< 'o 0e 0ra+e and possessing< 'o 0e
13
ac'i+e and ac'ualising< 'o 0e courageous and non-a0using and 'o 0e 'ender and forgi+ing. The idea of
facili'a'ion lea+es 'he responsi0ili'y
1,
'o change 8i'h 'he clien' himHherself. $elf-help and personal
responsi0ili'y of 'he clien' can 0e 'riggered off 0y facili'a'ion and no' 0y helping.
The 8ords gr$A#!> and c!nge> refer 'o 'he goal of counselling. -' is 8i'h 'his goal in +ie8 'ha'
one en'ers in'o a counselling in'er+ie8. ?hiche+er school of 'hough' one may follo8< one aims a' 'he
clien'sB managing 'heir li+es more effec'i+ely and sol+ing 'heir pro0lems and de+eloping oppor'uni'ies.
1.
The 8ord Cgro8'hB underscores 'he idea of clien'sB 0ecoming more effec'i+e self-helpers. The 8ord CchangeB
refers 'o 'he a0ili'y 'o sol+e pro0lems and 'he a0ili'y 'o de+elop or iden'ify oppor'uni'ies. The clien's ei'her
ha+e unsol+ed pro0lems or do no' li+e as effec'i+ely as 'hey 8ould like 'o li+e or 0o'h 'oge'her. Counselling
is no' for no'hing< nei'her is i' for 'he sake of s'ruc'uring 'ime. -' is 8i'h 'he idea of change 'ha' counselling
is under'aken. -n shor'< 'he '8o 8ords refer 'o 'he pro0lems of li+ing 8hich are de+elopmen'al 'asks 'ha'
people face a' differen' s'ages of 'heir lifespan like ge''ing married< forming a family< ha+ing children and
ge''ing old< and 'he pro0lems connec'ed 8i'h 'he 'ransi'ions 'ha' accompany e+ery s'age and 'he indi+idual
'asks like 0ecoming 8ha' 'hey 8an' 'o 0ecome.
11
The 8ord ##i#udes> refers 'o oneBs men'al orien'a'ion. -' is a learned and more or less
generaliAed affec'i+e 'endency. -' is ou' of our a''i'udes 'ha' our feelings and 0eha+iours proceed. -f my
a''i'ude 'o8ards you is posi'i+e< my feelings 'o8ards you 8ill 0e one of sympa'hy and lo+e and con+ersely if
my a''i'ude 'o8ards you is nega'i+e< - feel angry and 0eha+e aggressi+ely. A caring rela'ionship of 8arm'h
should 0e 0u''ressed 0y a ne'8ork of a''i'udes< 8hich are in'errela'ed. )or e/ample< respec' is an a''i'ude.
4ecause - am deeply con+inced of your 8or'h< indi+iduali'y< and po'en'iali'y and +alue you as a person 8i'h
righ's< - a+oid gi+ing ad+ice or manipula'ing you. A counsellor is 0ound 'o ha+e cer'ain a''i'udes< 8hich are
ei'her posi'i+e or nega'i+e. 7o8e+er< for a 8arm human encoun'er 8e need posi'i+e a''i'udes 'o permea'e
'he 8hole rela'ionship. More 'han 'he skills 8ha' is more apprecia'ed 0y 'he clien's is 'he posi'i+e a''i'ude
'he counsellor adop's.
17
The 8ord sBills> means e/per'ness< prac'ised a0ili'y or facili'y in an ac'ion or doing some'hing.
Counselling is no' an aimless 8andering for 8hich one does no' need skills. $kills are means or 'ools 'o
achie+e 'he goals. $ince 8e ha+e a defini'e se' of goals in counselling< i' presupposes 'ha' some skills
specific 'o 'he field in ques'ion are a mus'. The skills are 'o 0e selec'i+e and rela'ed 'o 'he 'ask in hand. 4y
employing 'he appropria'e skills 8e a+oid 8as'ing 'ime and 8e mo+e in a focused 8ay.
12
)inally 8e land on 'he 8ord c$n#eC#.B $kills are 'o 0e e/ercised in cer'ain se''ings. Take for
e/ample 'he skill of challenging. This skill can 0e e/ercised a' a la'er s'age of 'he counselling process 8hen
'he counsellor Eudges 'ha' hisHher challenging 'he discrepancies of 'he clien' 8ill defini'ely enhance self-
a8areness and decision making process of 'he clien'. -f no' used pruden'ly< 'his +ery e/ercise of 'he skill of
challenging 8ill 0e coun'er produc'i+e and one may lose 'he clien'.
13
The o+er+ie8 of 'he facili'a'ing model - presen' here comprises of '8o main 'hemes< namely
)acili'a'i+e Dimension ;Pacing> and Ac'ion-@rien'ed Dimension ;=eframing>. 7ere CpacingB means 'ha' you
go along 8i'h 'he clien' in agreemen' 8i'h himHher and CreframingB means 'ha' you no8 are a0le 'o facili'a'e
'he change of a''i'ude or 0eha+iour of 'he clien'.
O@er@ieA $( C$unselling
1. Pacing )acili'a'i+e Dimension
#. =eframing Ac'ion-@rien'ed Dimension
- kno8 a group of s'uden's 8ho a''ended a 9erman language course in a repu'ed ins'i'u'e. The
course ended 8i'h an e/amina'ion. A 0rillian' s'uden' go' 'he firs' mark. -n prac'ice 'he one 8ho go' 'he
highes' mark could no' communica'e in 'ha' +ery language effec'i+ely 8hereas 'he s'uden's 8ho scored lo8
marks 8ere a0le 'o communica'e ra'her 8ell. Therefore< i' is no' so much 'he amoun' of kno8ledge and
skills you may ha+e< 'hough of course 8e do no' underes'ima'e 'he +alue of such 'hings< 0u' 8ha' is
prac'ically needed is your a0ili'y 'o make use of 8ha'e+er you may possess 'o facili'a'e 'he clien'. 4eing
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a0le 'o facili'a'e gro8'h in o'hers e+en 8i'h a li''le of kno8ledge should in a 8ay mo'i+a'e you 'o learn more
and 0ecome proficien'.
?i'h 'his in'roduc'ion< - suppose< you are ready 'o en'er in'o 'he process of counselling< 'reading one
s'ep a' a 'ime< learning i' 'horoughly and marching for8ard 8i'h a relen'less spiri'. And 'his is 'he microskill
model of counselling.

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C. COUNSELLING FORMAT
Counselling forma' con'ains s'eps in counselling. More or less 'hese s'eps are found useful in my
counselling prac'ice. A' any momen' - check 8here - am 8i'h 'he clien'. )or 'his< 'his forma' helps me. -
make sure 'ha' - ra'her me'iculously follo8 'he s'eps. Af'er ha+ing seen many good counsellors and my o8n
professors doing effec'i+e counselling and ha+ing 'ried one 0y one in my o8n counselling prac'ice - ha+e
de+ised 'hese s'eps 8hich are gi+en as a forma'. - ha+e e/perienced 'ha' if - o+ers'ep any one s'ep< 'hen
counselling does no' proceed or ra'her - ge' s'uck. There are 'imes 8hen - come 0ack 'o 'he pre+ious s'eps
Eus' 0ecause - am una0le 'o proceed or 'he clien' is no' prepared 'o deal 8i'h a par'icular s'ep - am a'.
The chap'ers of 'his 0ook are more or less arranged according 'o 'he s'eps you find in 'he forma'.
$ide 0y side< you 8ill also 0e learning counselling skills. $kills are deal' 8i'h a' 'he reframing sec'ion.
$kills need no' 0e confused 8i'h 'he s'eps. $kills are 'echniques 8hile s'eps are procedure. ?i'h 'his clari'y
le' us see 8ha' 'he s'eps are.
COUNSELLING FORMAT
I. PACING
%FACILITATI6E DIMENSION+
1. ?elcome 'he clien'< and make himHher comfor'a0le 8i'h a small 'alk.
#. @0ser+e 'he 0odylanguage of 'he clien'.
*. A''end 'o 'he clien' physically.
,. "e' 'he clien' 'ell 'he s'ory.
.. =eflec' 'he con'en'. of 8ha' 'he clien' said.
1. Deal 8i'h 'he feeling.
1> =eflec' 'he feeling.
#> =eflec' 'he deeper feeling.
*> Allo8 'he clien' 'o speak sufficien'ly on 'he feeling.
,> )acili'a'e 'he clien' 'o release s'rong nega'i+e feelings.
7. Pinpoin' 'he pro0lem and ask for a recen' e+en'.
II. REFRAMING
%ACTION7ORIENTED DIMENSION+
3. PersonaliAe 'he clien'Ms deficiency.
16. )ind ou' al'erna'i+e frame of reference.
11. &mploy pro0lem sol+ing 'echniques< 0eha+iour s'ra'egies< and ac'ion programmes.
1#. -nsigh's:
1> Change 8ha' can 0e changed.
#> "e' 'he clien' accep' gracefully 8ha' canno' 0e changed.
*> Prepare 'he clien' for 'he 8ors'.
,> Prepare 'he clien' 'o 0e happy 8i'h 8ha'e+er decision heHshe has made.
1*. Define and opera'ionaliAe 'he goal.
11. Make con'rac's and e+alua'e.
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I. PACING
The 8ord CpacingB is a 'erm from !eurolinguis'ic programming. -' is 'he same as mirroring.
The communica'ion 'ha' goes on 0e'8een '8o persons is mos'ly 'hrough 0odylanguage. ?e do
communica'e +er0ally< 'hen +ocally< and 0odily< and 'ha' 8hich fills mos' of 'he communica'ion is
0odylanguage. -' is es'ima'ed 'ha' a0ou' ..N of 'he communica'ion is 'hrough0ody language. The
pacing direc's i's a''en'ion 'o 'his 0ody language of 'he clien'.
- 8ould consider 'his pacing in '8o 8ays: 1. mirroring< and #. pacing.
MIRRORING
Mirroring is reflec'ing like a mirror 'he 8hole or par' of 'he 0odylanguage of 'he clien'. -' could
0e done Eus' like a car0on copy doesK for e/ample< if you si' 8i'h your arms crossed on your ches'< - 'oo
do 'he sameK i' is a car0on copy reflec'ion. @r i' could 0e a cross-o+er mirroring in 'he sense 'ha' - keep
nodding my head according 'o 'he rhy'hm of your 0rea'hing. -f - 8ere 'o reflec' your mere 0rea'hing i'
is a direc' mirroring and since - mirror your 0rea'hing no' 'hrough my 0rea'hing 0u' 'hrough ano'her
organ of my 0ody 'ha' is my head 'hen i' is a cross-o+er mirroring.
Mirroring can 0e done af'er learning 8ha' i' is for< or you could disco+er mirroring
spon'aneously 8i'hou' e+er consciously ini'ia'ing i'. :us' 8a'ch people 8hen 'hey are engaged in
con+ersa'ion ei'her in '8os or 'hrees< or e+en in a li''le 0igger group. Those 8ho are in perfec'
agreemen' usually ha+e 'he same 0odily pos'ures and ges'ures. The dominan' one ini'ia'es a ges'ure or a
pos'ure of 'he 0ody and 'he res' of 'he group mem0ers imi'a'e i' 8i'hou' 'heir 0eing a8are of i'. T8o
people 8ho are mirroring are in agreemen' 8i'h each o'her< or 'hey like each o'her. "o+ers mirror each
o'her and i' is lo+e 'ha' promp's 'hem 'o mirror each o'her. People 8i'h ideological iden'i'y 'oo mirror
each o'her. -' is an indica'ion 'ha' a rappor' has 0een es'a0lished 0e'8een '8o indi+iduals.
PACING
- unders'and 'he mirroring no' only a' 'he physiological le+el 0u' also a' 'he psychological le+el
for 8hich - 8ould like 'o designa'e 'he 8ord Cpacing<B

'hough in effec' 0o'h mirroring and pacing can
mean one and 'he same 'hing. -n pacing - do no' mean 'o say of 'he physiological reflec'ion of a
0eha+iour< 0u' 'he agreemen' of 'he mind. ?hen people go for group discussion as '8o opposing camps
A and 4< i' is difficul' 'o arri+e a' a par'icular common decision. -ns'ead< if one of 'he par'ies ;A> goes
in agreemen' 8i'h 'he o'her ;4>< la'er 'he group ;A> 'ha' agreed 8i'h 'he o'her ;4> can lead 'he o'her
group ;4> 'o i's o8n decision. This is ac'ually pacing and leading. ?e pace someone in 'he sense of
going along 8i'h 'he person so 'ha' a' a la'er 'ime 8e can lead 'he person. @nce 'he o'her person kno8s
'ha' you are for himHher and no' agains' himHher 'hen heHshe is ready 'o follo8 your lead e+en 'hough
ini'ially heHshe 8ould no' ha+e consen'ed 'o i'.
A' 'his s'age of pacing you go along 8i'h 'he clien' almos' 0eing in agreemen' 8i'h himHher so
'ha' la'er you can a' 'he reframing s'age lead himHher 'he 8ay you 8an'. A' leas' la'er heHshe 8ill no'
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offer resis'ance 'o your ini'ia'i+es. -n 'his s'age of pacing or facili'a'i+e dimension 8e are going 'o spell
ou' in 8ha' 8ays 8e can go in agreemen' 8i'h 'he clien's.
8
8. 9ELCOME THE CLIENT
8+ ACQUAINTING
!o8 8e are en'ering in'o 'he firs' s'ep of 'he counselling process especially in pacing. 7ere 'he 'ask
of 'he counsellor is 'o ge' acquain'ed 8i'h 'he clien'. Mos'ly i' is a s'ranger 8ho comes 'o mee' 'he
counsellor and 'herefore 'he 'hing 'ha' needs immedia'e a''en'ion is 'o ge' 'o kno8 'he clien' 8ell. 7ere 'he
counsellor makes himHherself familiar 'o 'he person 8ho has come 8i'h a lo' of e/pec'a'ion. The firs'
impression is 'he 0es' impression< 'hey say. And 'he firs' impression usually las's longer compared 'o 'he
impressions 8e form la'er. -n a +ery fe8 ins'ances only 8e change 'he firs' impressions 8e ge' of people.
?hen a person mee's you for 'he firs' 'ime< heHshe forms a Eudgemen' a0ou' you in 36 seconds. -' is
es'ima'ed 'ha' 36N of 'he opinion heHshe makes a0ou' you is made 8i'hin 36 seconds.
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The res' of 'he 'ime
heHshe spends 8i'h you is only 'o confirm 'he impression heHshe has formed a0ou' you. 4ecause of 'he
impac' of 'he firs' impression on a s'ranger 8ho is going 'o en'er in'o a deep 'herapeu'ic rela'ionship< 'he
counsellor 8ill do 8ell 'o 'ake 'he necessary s'eps 'o presen' himHherself in a 0ecoming 8ay 8i'hou' 0eing
o+er-en'husias'ic or 'oo dull.
&+ery 'ime 8e conduc' 'he counselling course< - no'ice some'hing curious happening on 'he e+e of
'he s'ar'ing of 'he course 8hen 'he par'icipan's arri+e. $ome of 'he s'aff mem0ers make i' a poin' 'o recei+e
'he par'icipan's and see 'ha' 'hey are accommoda'ed and 8ell a''ended 'o. ?hen finally 'he course is ge''ing
o+er and 'he par'icipan's are a0ou' 'o lea+e or during 'he 'ime of e+alua'ion of 'he course< 'he par'icipan's
recall 8i'h a gra'eful hear' ho8 'hey had 0een firs' recei+ed. ?ha' is surprising for me is 'he fac' 'ha' a
par'icular indi+idual 8ho recei+ed 'he par'icipan's may no' ha+e con'ri0u'ed 'o 'heir learning much during
'he course compared 'o 'he o'hers 8ho spend 'hemsel+es for 'he par'icipan's. 4u' 'he par'icipan's remem0er
+i+idly only 'he person 8ho recei+ed 'hem firs' and no' 'he ones 8ho helped 'hem mos'. This only goes 'o
'ell 'ha' 'he clien's form an opinion of 'he counsellor from 'he 8ay 'hey ha+e 0een recei+ed. 7ere 'he firs'
impression 'he counsellor makes is of grea' impor'ance for 'he ensuing 'ask. $ince 'he clien's could form
0o'h posi'i+e as 8ell as nega'i+e opinion a0ou' 'he counsellor looking a' 'he person ins'an'aneously< 'here is
'he necessi'y of ha+ing 'he appropria'e skills 'o presen' oneself 0ecomingly. ?hen - speak of presen'ing
0ecomingly< - do no' mean 'o say 'ha' one should fake and pre'end 'o 0e s8ee'. ?ha' is required is far from
such manipula'ionK genuineness should permea'e e+ery mo+emen' of 'he counsellor.
Jou migh' ha+e no'iced 8hen you yourself had 0een a gues' 'o someoneBs house or 8hen you
recei+ed gues's in'o your o8n house. The gues' an'icipa'es and e/pec's a 8arm recep'ion and e+ery 8ord or
ges'ure of 'he hos' is keenly read 0y 'he gues' in 'erms of hisHher accep'ance or non-accep'ance. The reason
is ra'her o0+ious. The one 8ho comes 'o you is +ulnera0le 0ecause heHshe is no' sure if heHshe 8ill 0e
8elcome. $ome'hing similar happens 'o 'he clien's 8ho approach 'he counsellor and 'herefore i' is
recommended 'ha' 'he counsellor recei+es 'he clien's 8armly.
.+ RAPPORT75UILDING
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-n 'he firs' s'ep< 'he counsellor se's 'he 'one and 'he quali'y of 'he rela'ionship 'ha' 8ill las' 'hrough
'he counselling sessions. Therefore< 8e call 'his s'ep rappor'-0uilding s'ep. Tha' 8hich 'akes place 0e'8een
'he counsellor and 'he counsellee is also 'ermed as C#!er'eu#ic llince> or CA$rB"le llince.B
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An
informal con'rac' of 8ha' is e/pec'ed of 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee is already dra8n up as soon as '8o
en'er in'o a counselling in'er+ie8. -n mos' ins'ances< 'his alliance or con'rac' is no' formal. The alliance 8e
speak of implies in'erpersonal rela'ionship. This helping rela'ionship is no' an end in i'self. -' is no' for 'he
sake of rela'ionship 'ha' counselling is en'er'ained 0u' 'his rela'ionship ser+es as a means 'o reach 'he goals
of counselling. -f a 8arm friendship 8ere 'o flo8er from 'he counselling i' is al'oge'her ano'her s'ory 0u'
counselling is no' under'aken primarily 8i'h a +ie8 'o es'a0lish rela'ionship< 'hough 'herapeu'ic rela'ionship
is essen'ial for counselling.
- remem0er 'o ha+e frequen'ed a repu'ed ins'i'u'e. )irs' 8hen - 8en' for 'he in'er+ie8< 'he one 8ho
in'er+ie8ed and conduc'ed 'es's on me hardly re+ealed 8ho he 8as e/cep' his name. Again in 'he same
ins'i'u'e 8hen - had 'he manda'ory one-'o-one sessions< 'he one 8ho 8as dealing 8i'h me 8as no' any 0e''er.
Perhaps he 8as main'aining a cer'ain 'herapeu'ic neu'rali'y. 4u' 'ha' did no' help me in any8ay.

Jour ac'i+e presence is a kind of s$cil7e&$#i$nl 'resence<
##
8hich speaks in unequi+ocal 'erms
your 8illingness 'o 8ork 8i'h 'he clien'. $ince you commi' yourself 'o hisHher 8elfare< you should 0o'h
+er0ally and non-+er0ally communica'e 'he 8arm'h and 8illingness of 0eing 8i'h 'he clien' and 8orking
8i'h himHher. - remem0er 'o ha+e gi+en an oral e/amina'ion 'o a professor 8ho on en'ering his room poin'ed
'o a chair and asked me 'o si' do8n 8hile he 8as 0usy 8i'h his 8ork. 7e 8as dus'ing his 'a0le and 'rying 'o
'race ou' an o0Eec' 8hile asking me 'o 'alk. $uch a 0eha+iour hardly can suppor' a counselling session.
$ince much depends upon 'he recep'ion one recei+es a' 'he hand of a counsellor< 'he counsellor should 'ake
'he ini'ia'i+e 'o 8elcome 'he clien's 8armly 8i'hou' 0eing affec'ed 'oo much in hisHher manners. A na'ural
8ay of gree'ing 'ha' is e/pressi+e of genuineness and concern is called for. Clien's feel ei'her encouraged or
pu' ou' depending upon 'he 'one of in'erac'ion during 'he firs' fi+e minu'es or so. &+ery cul'ure has i's o8n
ceremony of recei+ing a gues'. Tha' ceremony 8hich is appropria'e 'o your cul'ure canno' 0e dispensed 8i'h
in recei+ing a clien'.
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1+ SHAKINGHANDS
-n 8elcoming< you shake hands 8i'h 'he person 8hom you are mee'ing. 7ere 8ho e/'ends 'he hand
firs' is significan'. The person 8ho is pleased 8i'h 'he arri+al of ano'her person is happy 'o e/'end hisHher
hand 'o shake hands 8i'h 'he ne8comer. Therefore< i' 8ill al8ays gi+e 'he feeling of 0eing 8an'ed for 'he
clien' if you 'ake 'he ini'ia'i+e 'o e/'end your hand and gen'ly shake hands 8i'h himHher. -' sho8s 'ha' you
are pleased 8i'h 'he arri+al of 'he clien' and are happy 'o mee' himHher.
There are differen' s'yles in shaking hands. They are unconsciously purposeful. A person of
dominan' charac'er< or a' leas' 'he one 8ho 8an's 'o domina'e 'he o'her< places hisHher palm o+er 'he palm of
'he o'her 'hus indica'ing 'ha' heHshe 8an's 'o 'ake con'rol of 'he si'ua'ion ;Figure 8>.
The one 8hose hand is do8n< palm looking up8ard< is su0missi+e and heHshe gi+es 'he con'rol 'o 'he o'her
dominan' person ;Figure7.>.
#.
Figure 8 Figure .
9n#s #$ #Be c$n#r$l $( #!e si#u#i$n Su"&isi@e

A par'nership handshake 8i'h respec' and rappor' 8ill 0e a +ice-like handshake 8i'h 0o'h palms
remaining in 'he +er'ical posi'ion ;Figure71>.
?i'h your clien's< 8e do no' e/pec' 'ha' you domina'e nor should you 0e su0missi+e 0u' deal 8i'h
respec' as a par'ner or colla0ora'or. Then you ha+e 'he Cpoli'icianBs handshake<B 8hich is o'her8ise called
Cglo+e handshakeB 'ha' is Eus' holding 'he righ' hand of 'he o'her 8i'h 0o'h 'he hands ;Figure7/>.

Figure 1 Figure /
Pr#ners!i' Hnds!Be Gl$@e Hnds!BeD P$li#icin>s Hnds!Be
9n#s #$ gi@e i&'ressi$nD
H$nes#) #rus#A$r#!* E ((ec#i$n#e
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The one doing i' 8an's 'o gi+e 'he impression 'ha' heHshe is hones'< 'rus'8or'hy< and affec'iona'e.
4u' 'o do 'ha' 8i'h a s'ranger a' 'he firs' ins'ance may 0e misunders'ood. Perhaps 8i'h a +ery 8ell kno8n
person 'his ges'ure 8ill 0e unders'ood 0u' no' 8i'h s'rangers. -f you are mee'ing a clien' for 'he firs' 'ime< i'
may no' 0e ad+isa0le 'o use a glo+e handshake. -n counsellor 'raining sessions - make 'he par'icipan's
0ecome a8are of 'he 'ype of handshake 'hey use. A fe8 of 'hem in spi'e of 'he a8areness 0rough' a0ou' on
'heir 0eha+iour gi+e a Cdead-fish handshakeB ;Figure7;>.
-' is unders'ood 'ha' 'he people 8ho gi+e a dead-fish handshake sho8 a 8eak charac'er and can
easily 0e manipula'ed. There are people 8ho squeeAe 'he fingers in such a 8ay 'ha' 'he knuckles crack
;Figure ->.
Figure ; Figure -
Ded7Fis! Hnds!BeD KnucBles CrcBingD
9eB c!rc#er) cn "e esil* &ni'ul#ed Aggressi@e 'ers$n
-' is 'he charac'eris'ic handshake of an aggressi+e person. ?hen ei'her you gi+e only 'he 'ips of your
fingers< or o'hers gi+e 'he 'ips of 'heir fingers< 'he message is one of non-confidenceK 8hen you gra0 only 'he
finger'ips of 'he o'her you sho8 lack of confidence in yourself and 8hen o'hers hold your finger'ips only
'hey are lacking in self-confidence. @ne 8ho gi+es only hisHher finger 'ips 0esides lacking confidence in
himHherself 8an's 'o keep 'he o'her a' a comfor'a0le spa'ial dis'ance ;Figure <> .
The righ' orien'a'ion 'o handshake could 0e holding i' 8armly 8i'hou' 0eing 'oo cold or 'oo
aggressi+e 8i'h sufficien' in'erlocking of 'he palms ins'ead of 'he finger'ips. To sho8 dep'h of feeling
'o8ards 'he o'her< sinceri'y< and 'rus'< people use dou0le-handed handshake. ?hile holding 'he hand of 'he
o'her 8i'h your righ' hand< you hold 8i'h your lef' hand 'he 8ris' or el0o8 or upper arm or shoulder of 'he
o'her ;Figure 4>.
This 'ype can 0e misunders'ood like 'he glo+e handshake and hence i' is ad+isa0le 'o use only 8hen
you are on in'ima'e 'erms 8i'h 'he clien' and also 8hen you percei+e 'ha' such an os'en'a'ion of feeling is
8elcomed 0y 'he clien'.
#,
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Figure < Figure 4
Gi@ing #!e #i's $( #!e FingersD D$u"le Hnds!BeD
N$7c$n(idence) Kee's #!e $#!er 9n#s #$ s!$A de'#! $( (eeling) sinceri#*) E #rus#
# c$&($r#"le s'#il dis#nce
/+ RO6IDING PRI6AC:
-' is impera'i+e on 'he par' of 'he counsellor 'o pro+ide pri+acy for 'he clien' 'o speak freely 8i'hou'
'he fear of 0eing o+erheard 0y o'hers. Pri+acy is also desired for 'he sake of emo'ing< especially 8eeping. -n
a college se'-up - 8as called 0y 'he principal 'o counsel a girl in 'he presence of 'he principal herself. ?hen -
proposed 'ha' 'he girl could 'alk 'o me pri+a'ely< 'he girl herself pro'es'ed and 8an'ed 'he principal 8i'h her.
Any8ay a li''le 8hile elapsed and no'hing significan' 8as spoken of. Then all of a sudden 'he principal had
a phone call for 8hich she had 'o lea+e us. -' 8as a' 'ha' 'ime 'he girl 0urs' in'o 'ears 'elling me 'ha' 'hough
she had e+ery affluence she 8as an orphan adop'ed 0y 'he fos'er paren's 8ho are kno8n 'o 'he principal as
'he real paren's. The 8hole pro0lem of 'he girl 8as 8i'h 'ha' issue. Then - kep' 'he principal a8ay and
con'inued 'he counselling. May 0e due 'o 'he delicacy of 'he rela'ionship 'he clien's may no' openly demand
pri+acy from 'he 'hird par'y 'ha' accompanies 'hem. 4u' 'he counsellor should normally see 'ha' 'he clien's
are pro+ided pri+acy. @nce an organiAer of a counselling course 8an'ed me 'o counsel his 8ife a' his house.
- did go 'o his house. 7e 8ould si' all 'he 8hile 8i'h me 'o see ho8 - counsel his 8ife. 7is 8ife 8as
speaking in a muffled +oice 'he 8ay he en'er'ains her sis'er 8ho is a young 8ido8. The 8hole pro0lem 8as
8i'h 'he supposed rela'ionship of her hus0and 8i'h her 8ido8ed sis'er. 4u' no counselling could properly 0e
done 0ecause 'he clien' 8as no' free 'o speak 8ha' she 8an'ed. -n any si'ua'ion i' is al8ays safe 'o pro+ide
pri+acy for 'he clien'. @'her8ise you may 0e missing 'he real pro0lemO
.. MAKE THE CLIENT COMFORTA5LE 9ITH A SMALL TALK
8+ FSMALL TALK>
Clien's come 'o speak a0ou' 'heir pro0lems and find solu'ions 0u' 'hey need 'o calm do8n and ge'
composed 0efore 'hey could en'er in'o 'heir pro0lems. Therefore< counselling psychologis's recommend 'ha'
8e engage 'he clien's af'er 8elcoming< in some neu'ral 'ype of con+ersa'ions only 'o ease 'he fear and
an/ie'y 'ha' is 8ri''en large on 'he faces of 'he clien's. -' could 0e in 'he form of enquiring a0ou' 'he 8ea'her
or 'he curren' e+en's 'ha' are spoken of or any 'opic of some in'eres'< 'opics 'ha' are non-'hrea'ening.
$ome'imes asking ques'ions like Cho8 are youLB or C8ha' are you feelingLB may direc'ly 'ake 'hem 'o 'heir
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pro0lems for 8hich 'hey may no' 0e prepared. Therefore< ini'ia'ing a 'alk on non-'hrea'ening and neu'ral
'opics ill ease 'he uncomfor'a0le feeling of 'he clien'.
#.
.+ CONFIDENTIALIT:
-n an official se''ing and e+en o'her8ise 8hen someone comes 'o confide in you< i' 0ecomes highly
impera'i+e 'o le' 'he clien' kno8 'ha' you 8ould keep e+ery'hing secre' and assure himHher 'ha' you 8ould if
a' all needed 'o speak any'hing a0ou' 'he issues shared< 'o 'he persons 8ho referred himHher 'o you< do so
only 8i'h hisHher consen' and permission. @ne of 'he 8ays 'o deal 8i'h 8hen people ask you a repor' of 'he
counsellee is no' 'o 'ake up such a commi'men' and ins'ead 'ell 'he person in charge 'ha' you 8ill ins'ruc' 'he
clien' 'o le' himHher kno8 8ha' had happened 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. This me'hod
safeguards 'he a0solu'e secrecy of 'he concerns shared. @r you could ge' 'he consen' and permission of 'he
clien' 'o 'alk a0ou' 8ha'e+er is necessary for hisHher o8n good 'o 'he person concerned and rehearse 'he
ma''er you 8ould 'alk< 'o 'he clien' and ge' i' edi'ed and appro+ed 0y himHher.
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1+ TIME7LIMIT
There are 'imes 8hen counsellors s'ar' 'he counselling session 'hinking 'ha' i' migh' ge' o+er in ,.
minu'es or an hour. 4u'< i' can happen 'ha' 'he counselling drags on e+en af'er an hour. @r you ha+e ano'her
appoin'men' af'er cer'ain 'ime. All 'hese cases can 0e sa+ed if you could 'ell 'he clien' 0eforehand ho8
much 'ime you ha+e a' your disposal for 'he counselling. -f you do no' do 'ha'< you may mee' 8i'h a8k8ard
si'ua'ions 8here as you are ge''ing ready for ano'her appoin'men'< 'he clien' is in'eres'edly 'alking a0ou' 'he
issue or 'he clien' is emo'ing for 8hich you need 'o 8ai' 8hich means you are delayed in keeping up 'he ne/'
appoin'men'. -' is 'he du'y of 'he counsellor 'o speak a0ou' 'he 'ime-limi' in 8hich case 'he clien'
himHherself 8ill adEus' hisHher in'er+ie8 so 'ha' heHshe is a0le 'o come 'o a conclusion on 'ime.
#7
/+ PRE6IOUS COUNSELLING
There are clien's 8ho go a0ou' shopping counsellors. They s'ick 'o a counsellor for some'ime and
'hen seek ano'her. -f a clien' has recei+ed a par'icular form of 'herapy for 'he curren' pro0lem and no8 going
'o a ne8 counsellor< 'his fac' is no' disclosed< 'hen 'he ne8 counsellor migh' 'ry 'he same ineffec'i+e 'herapy
on 'he clien'. @r e+en 'o assess 'he gra+i'y of an issue i' is good for 'he ne8 counsellor 'o kno8 8ha' 'ype of
counselling or 'herapy 'he clien' under8en' pre+iously. -n 'he medical profession< doc'ors do no' under'ake
'rea'ing a pa'ien' unless 'he pa'ien' has 'ermina'ed hisHher 'rea'men' 8i'h 'he pre+ious doc'or. -n 'he same
8ay no counsellor 8ill under'ake counselling unless counselling 8i'h 'he pre+ious counsellor is 'ermina'ed
or 'he pre+ious counsellor refers 'he clien'. -n such cases 'he ne8 counsellor should kno8 8ha' all
psychological 'rea'men' 'he clien' has undergone.
#2
;+ IN6ITATION TO TALK
@nce 'he small 'alk is o+er and more or less you percei+e 'ha' 'he clien' is in a mood 'o 'alk a0ou'
hisHher concerns you can speak a0ou' 'he confiden'iali'y and 'ime limi' and in+i'e 'he clien' 'o share hisHher
concerns. There are clien's 8ho may go on 'alking unrela'ed 'hings or may keep mum and in ei'her cases 'he
counsellor< af'er 'he ini'ial 'alk 'o calm do8n 'he clien'< can in+i'e himHher 'o speak a0ou' 'he pro0lem. $ome
clien's specially 8ai' for 'he permission from 'he counsellor 'o 'alk a0ou' 'heir pro0lems.
#3
?ha' - ha+e spoken so far is 0eing referred 'o as CIni#il S#ruc#uring.B
*6
The o0Eec'i+e of 'he ini'ial
s'ruc'uring as a prepara'ion for 'he oncoming counselling is 'o facili'a'e 'he process of counselling. 7ere 8e
find '8o aspec's: one is 'ers$n7$rien#ed in 'he sense 'ha' i' aims a' es'a0lishing a 'herapeu'ic rela'ionship of
caring concern 8i'h 'he clien'< and 'he o'her is #sB7$rien#ed formali'ies 'ha' 8ill reduce 8as'ing of 'ime and
energy and help 0o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee 'o mo+e for8ard in a focused 8ay.
#3
-' is also possi0le 'ha' 8hen you gi+e 'he permission 'o 'alk< 'he clien' keeps silen'. 7ere you need a
cer'ain knack 'o elici' a response from 'he clien'. -f 'he clien' is confused as 'o 8here 'o 0egin you could
gen'ly ask himHher 'o say 8ha'e+er comes 'o hisHher mind. Jou could also make a s'a'emen' 'elling 'ha' i' is
difficul' 'o 0egin< or simply make s'a'emen's a0ou' 8ha' you o0ser+e< like 'elling himHher 'ha' heHshe seems
sad or depressed. Jou could also dra8 hisHher a''en'ion 'o 'he o0+ious fac' of 8ha' is going on in her mind.
These 'echniques migh' 'rigger off and 'he clien' migh' s'ar' 'alking. Perhaps your ini'ial s'ruc'uring could
0e like 'he follo8ing: $a'hian< - am happy 'ha' you ha+e come 'o speak 'o me< and 8ha'e+er you speak 'o me
is confiden'ial. !o8 8e ha+e an hour 'oge'her and you are 8elcome 'o share 8i'h me 8ha'e+er you 8an'.
?hile asking 'he clien' 'o speak a0ou' 'he pro0lem 'he counsellor could 0e careful in 'he choice of
8ords heHshe uses. )or e/ample< asking a clien' s'raigh' MTell me 8ha' is your pro0lemLM migh' 0e 'oo
frigh'ening for a clien'< since i' is a direc' ques'ion 8hich is personaliAed. Though clien's come 'o deal 8i'h
'heir pro0lems< 'hey may no' 0e +ery happy e+en 'o hear 'he 8ord Cpro0lem.B Therefore you could ask 'he
clien' like M?ha' is 'ha' you 8ould like 'o share 8i'h meLB or C?ha' are your concerns 'ha' you 8ould like 'o
8ork on in 'his sessionLM These kinds of in+i'a'ions keep 'he pro0lems non-personaliAed< and so 'he clien'
may no' feel 'hrea'ened.
*1
-n 'he firs' s'ep 8ha' you are using< 8he'her kno8ingly or unkno8ingly< are 8ha' 8e call Fs$cil
sBills)F 8hich comprise a num0er of o'her specific skills like saying M9ood Morning M or M9ood &+eningM and
in'roducing your name in a simple unders'anda0le 8ay like M- am $ounder< a full 'ime counsellor a' Anugraha
-ns'i'u'e and - am happy 'o mee' youK 'hen you ha+e C'$li#eness sBills> like CThank youB CPleaseB C&/cuse meB
CPardon meB C?ould you mindB and 'he likeK and 'here come CBindness sBills> like offering a chair< sho8ing
'he 8ay< gi+ing a glass of 8a'er< enquiring a0ou' 'he heal'h and 'he like.
*#
$o far 8e sa8 'he skills of 'he
counsellor in 'he firs' s'ep and no8 le' us 'urn 'o 'he 'ask of 'he counsellee in 'he same s'ep.
1. COUNSELLE>S TASK
@ur main line of search is 'o kno8 8ha' makes for a successful counselling and 8ha' 'he counsellor
and 'he counselle ough' 'o con'ri0u'e 'o8ards 'he success of 'he session. -n 'he preceding pages 8e ha+e
spelled ou' 'he skills of 'he counsellor. - am par'icularly in'eres'ed in kno8ing 8ha' 'he counselle ough' 'o
do so 'ha' 'he effor's of 'he counsellor are frui'ful. 7ence in 'he follo8ing pages 8e are going 'o concen'ra'e
on 'he 'ask of 'he counsellee.
8+ 9ILLINGNESS
@ne 'hing s'ands ou' ra'her prominen'ly 8hich a counselling psychologis' canno' o+erlook.
Counselling canno' 0e forcedK i' can only 0e offered. !o forced counselling 8ill 0e a successful one. This is
almos' a fundamen'al principle regarding 'he clien'. Clien'sB good8ill is essen'ial so 'ha' 'he desired goal is
achie+ed. $ome counsellors make grea' a''emp's 'o con+ince 'he clien's of 'he need for counselling and 'ry
'o do 'heir 0es'< 0u' 'he un8illingness of 'he clien' sa0o'ages 'he 8hole effor' of 'he counsellor.
-n a 8ay 'he 8illingness of 'he counsellee comes prior 'o 'he ini'ia'i+es of 'he counsellor. ?e had
seen in 'he foregone pages 'ha' i' is 'he counsellor 8ho 'akes 'he ini'ia'i+e 'o 8elcome 'he clien'< make
himHher feel a' home and in+i'e himHher 'o share her concerns. -n fac' 'he clien' should ha+e come already
mo'i+a'ed and 0e 8illing 'o coopera'e 8i'h 'he ini'ia'i+es of 'he counsellor< a' leas' 0y associa'ing 8i'h 'he
counsellor in 8ha'e+er 8ay heHshe could. $ome counsellors are o+er-confiden' 'o 'he e/'en' 'ha' 'hey 0elie+e
'ha' 0y 'heir influence 'hey could help e+en an un8illing clien'. - do no' deny 'he social influence of 'he
counsellor and 'he indirec' pressure 'ha' can 0e pu' on 'he clien' 8i'hou' hisHher e+er kno8ing i'. $ome
counsellors 0y 'heir cle+er manoeu+ring are a0le 'o make 'he clien' 8an' counselling. -n 'his case< i' is no
more forced 'han 8an'ed< 'hough 'ha' 8illingness 8as 0rough' a0ou' 0y 'he social influence of 'he
counsellor.
Adrian 5an (aam has some'hing +ery succinc' 'o say a0ou' 'he free response of 'he counsellee
8i'hou' 8hich 'he process of 'he counselling seems meaningless.
*6
The authentic counsellor wants to affirm the uniue personality and the spontaneous initiati!e of his
counsellee" he wants him to grow in his own independent being. But this desire can bear fruit only when the
counsellee ratifies my therapeutic attempt by his own consent to my desire for him. Therapeutic care does
not want to force or to impose. #hat is more, as soon as the counsellor tries to o!erpower the counsellee, if
only by suggestion, then his acti!ity is no longer therapeutic care. $ounselling can only become authentic
by means of the free consent and cooperation of the other.
%%
.+ GREATER RESPONSI5ILIT:
-n 'he in'roduc'ion of 'he 0ook< 8e ha+e seen 'ha' counselling is a colla0ora'i+e process< a '8o-8ay
s'imula'ion. -f i' is a colla0ora'i+e process 'hen 'he ini'ia'i+es of 'he counsellor alone is no' enough. The
counsellor pro+ides enough of s'imula'ion 'o8ards 'he clien'Bs self-help. )inally i' is 'he counsellee 8ho
achie+es 'he goal heHshe se'< i' is heHshe 8ho manages 'he pro0lem< i' is heHshe 8ho decides 'o li+e an
enhanced life de+oid of psychological games. -' is more correc' 'o say 'ha' 'he clien's achie+e 'heir goals
'hrough 'he facili'a'ion of 'he counsellor. The counsellors do no' con'rol 'he ou'come of counselling. -n fac'<
'he one 8ho is more responsi0le for 'he process< ou'come< and quali'y of counselling is 'he clien'
himHherself.
*,
7isHher responsi0ili'y and coopera'ion s'ar' from 'he +ery s'ar' 0y hisHher 8illingness< righ'
'hrough 'he process< decision making< and finally res's 8i'h hisHher e/ecu'ion of 'he decisions heHshe makes.
-' is 8idely accep'ed 'ha' counselling 8ill 0e in good shape no' in spi'e of 'he lack of good8ill of 'he
clien'< 0u' 0ecause of 'he good8ill of 'he clien'. Take for e/ample clien's 8i'h an'isocial personali'y
disorders 8ho rarely coopera'e 8i'h any0ody and for 'ha' ma''er 8i'h any counsellor. -' has 0een found 'ha'
such clien's profi' from counselling 'o 'he e/'en' 'hey are 8illing 'o coopera'e 8i'h 'he counsellor.
*.
-n our
o8n li+es 8e find 'ha' if 8e happen 'o 8an' a 'hing 8e do ge' i'K o'her8ise any amoun' of pressure from
ou'side is no' going 'o make us ge' i'.
1+ LA9 OF INERTIA
The cause of un8illingness could 0e many< and of'en i' comes under one par'icular principle called
Cla8 of iner'iaB 8hich s'a'es 'ha' a 'hing 8ill res' un'il some'hing mo+es i'. -n human 0eha+iour 'his physical
la8 can 0e seen in +arious forms.
*1
The la8 of iner'ia is fur'her reinforced 0y 'he psychological games 'he
clien's play. Dr. &ric 4erne speaks of a num0er of psychological games clien's play. They seem 'o 0e
playing from 'hree differen' posi'ions or roles. -n e+ery socie'y some Cpersecu'orsB nag and ill-'rea' o'hers.
There are also people 8ho are al8ays 0eing persecu'ed and +ic'imiAed and 'hey are called C+ic'ims.B Then
'here come some people 8ho are on 'he look ou' for rescuing 'he +ic'ims from 'he persecu'ors. They are
called Crescuers.B Thus 'here are 'hree roles: 'he persecu'or< 'he +ic'im and 'he rescuer. All 'he 'hree
ca'egories of people play 'heir roles unconsciously. 7ere par'icularly 8i'h regard 'o 'he la8 of iner'ia< 8e
find 'ha' 'he people 8ho play 'he role of +ic'im 8an' 'o perpe'ua'e 'heir role as +ic'ims and hinder 'heir o8n
progress unconsciously.
)or e/ample< 'he people 8ho play 'he game of CPoor MeB 8ill no' +en'ure 'o impro+e 'heir lo' 0u'
8ill keep complaining a0ou' e+ery'hing 'ha' happens 'o 'hem.
*7
They are paralysed 0y iner'ia and 8ill no'
'ake 'he necessary s'eps 'o ge' 'he help needed 0y 8ay of approaching a counsellor or coopera'e 8i'h himHher
for 'heir o8n good. Take ano'her e/ample of a person 8ho plays 'he +ic'imMs game of Cif i' 8ere no' for
you.B
*2
7eHshe 8ould 0lame hisHher family 0ackground and personal defec's as reasons for no' impro+ing.
These are a kind of passi+i'y and learned helplessness 'ha' come in 'he 8ay of 'he clien's and pre+en' 'hem
from approaching a counsellor or 'o coopera'e 8i'h himHher. The ugly face of iner'ia is 'hus seen in
numerous manifes'a'ions like passi+i'y of no' doing any'hing< learned helplessness 'hinking 'ha' one is
incapa0le of impro+ing a si'ua'ion< disa0ling 'alk 'elling 'ha' one does no' ha+e 'he po'ency 'o manage oneMs
life< and disorganiAa'ion in 8hich a person 8ill keep hisHher personal and social life in a mess and 8ill no' 0e
a0le 'o figure ou' 8ha' heHshe could do 'o ameliora'e 'he circums'ances.
*3
Thus 8e find 'ha' iner'ia can 0e
one of 'he main reasons 8hy clien's do no' coopera'e 8i'h 'he counsellors.
*1
/+ FEAR OF CHANGE
Coupled 8i'h 'he la8 of iner'ia 8e also find 'he fear of change
,6
'ha' pre+en's 'he clien's from 'aking
adequa'e s'eps. Though 'here is a desire for no+el'y deep do8n 8i'hin us< 8e are also a8are 'ha' 8e do no'
8an' any change. There 8as a de+as'a'ing flood in 1377 along 'he ri+er0ed of 'he ri+er Cau+ery in Trichy
and $rirangam< as a resul' of a cyclone. Many of 'he poor people< li+ing in a clus'er< los' 'heir houses and
proper'y. ?hen some of 'he +olun'ary agencies 'ook up 'heir cause and proposed a 0e''er place 8here 'hey
8ould no' 0e affec'ed 0y flood any more< and 8here 'here 8ere plen'y of Eo0 oppor'uni'ies< 'he people
simply refused 'o mo+e< in spi'e of 'he ne8 proposal 0eing +ery appealing in'ellec'ually. Though 'he ne8
proposal promises a 0e''er li+ing condi'ion< 'he fear of a changed life s'yle dis'ur0ed 'he people more 'han
'he a0Eec' po+er'y 'hey 8ere facing in 'he flood affec'ed area.
$ome'hing similar happened in 4om0ay and Calcu''a 8here slum d8ellers 8ere gi+en 0e''er
d8elling places 8hich 8ere qui'e decen' and nea'. 4efore long< 'hey all re'urned 'o 'heir original d8elling
places in 'he slum 0ecause 'hey could no' 'olera'e change in 'heir cus'omary ha0i's. -n Andhra Pradesh some
0onded la0ourers 8ere freed 0y 'he 9o+ernmen'< and af'er a fe8 mon'hs 'hey 8en' 0ack 'o 'heir landlords
0egging 'o 0e 'aken 0ack as 0onded la0ourers. -n 'he same 8ay clien's are afraid of a changed 8ay of life
0ecause 'he ne8 8ay is unfamiliar< or 'hey ha+e 'o make a num0er of adEus'men's or simply 'hey are
accus'omed 'o 'he old 8ays only.
The feelings of 'he clien's apparen'ly desiring a change and unconsciously deep do8n fearing 'he
change 'hey ask for< are 8ell 0rough' ou' in su0'le +erses 0y =a0indrana'h Tagore in 9i'anEali 8hen he sings:
The shroud that co!ers me is a shroud of dust and death" I hate it yet hug it in lo!e. &y debts are
large, my failures great, my shame secret and hea!y" yet when I come to ask for my good, I uake in fear lest
my prayer be granted.
'(
This is a pi'ia0le s'a'e of some of 'he clien's 8ho are afraid of 'aking up 'he responsi0ili'y of
changing 'heir li+es dras'ically< 8hen 'hey go for counselling or coopera'e 8i'h 'he counsellor.
There are some ca'egories of people 8ho do no' seem 'o 0enefi' from counselling. Children< +ery
old people< and people 8hose in'elligence is 0elo8 a+erage 'end no' 'o unders'and 'he dynamics of 'heir
in'erac'ion and are in a 8ay una0le 'o go along 'he counselling process and also la'er lack 'he gu's 'o e/ecu'e
'he decisions. -n some sense 'hey are una0le 'o coopera'e 8i'h 'he ini'ia'i+es of 'he counsellor.
;+ RELUCTANT CLIENT
Prac'ically 8e can di+ide 'he clien's in'o 'hose 8ho d$ n$# 8an' 'o coopera'e and 'hose 8ho 'hough
8illing cnn$# coopera'e 8i'h 'he counsellor. They are 'he reluc'an' clien's and resis'an' clien's. =eluc'an'
clien's are 'hose persons 8ho do no' 8an' counselling a' all for 'heir o8n personal reasons.
,#
They are no'
self-referred 0u' ra'her referred 'o 0y o'hers. Mala aged ,. is a married 8oman. 7er hus0and feels 'ha' she
is in need of psychological help< and Mala 'oo agrees 'o i' 0u' is un8illing 'o mee' a counsellor< for 'he
simple reason 'ha' an in'ense in'erac'ion in a counselling si'ua'ion frigh'ens her. $i+aBs case is qui'e
differen'. 7e is suspicious of e+eryone and has grea' difficul'y in 'rus'ing o'hers. 7is lack of 'rus' comes in
'he 8ay of approaching a counsellor. Ca'herine is a cu'e girl doing her firs' year of gradua'ion. 7er pro0lem
is she is +ery shy. $he is no' a0le 'o face an audience and e+en indi+iduals separa'ely. 4esides< 'o share her
inmos' 'hough's and feelings 8i'h ano'her person is some'hing shameful for her. 7er feeling of shame
pre+en's her approaching a counsellor. Thus 8e find a num0er of reasons for 'he reluc'ance of 'he
counsellee. A' 'imes< 'he 'hird par'y is in'eres'ed in counselling. This happens mos'ly 8i'h 'he paren's of 'he
'eenagers. The paren's are sure 'ha' 'hings do no' go 8ell 8i'h 'heir 'een-age children and 'hey 8an' 0y all
means 'ha' 'he children should ge' counselling< 0u' unless 'he children 'hemsel+es 8an' counselling i' is of
no use coa/ing 'hem< for 'hey usually do no' o0lige. $imilarly 8e find persons sen' from correc'ion homes
0y 'he officials. $ince 'hey ha+e 'o fulfil an o0liga'ion of mee'ing a counsellor 'hey come and for no o'her
reason. )rom such clien's 8ha' could 0e e/pec'ed e/cep' reluc'ance and indifferenceL Jou can hardly
succeed counselling a reluc'an' clien'. Perhaps i' is a 8as'e of 'ime and energy on your par'.
*#
-+ RESISTANT CLIENT
Ano'her ca'egory is 'he resis'an' clien's. They are persons 8ho 8an'ed counselling 0u' la'er changed
'heir mind and resis' e+ery a''emp' of 'he counsellor.
,*
=esis'ance could 0e ei'her conscious or unconscious.
-f resis'ance is conscious i' almos' amoun's 'o reluc'ance and i' is hard 'o deal 8i'h< 0u' if i' is unconscious
'he counsellor can facili'a'e 'o remo+e 'he unconscious 0lock and help 'hem come up 8i'h 'he necessary
coopera'ion. ?hen i' is a ques'ion of unconscious resis'ance< making 'he clien's 'o 0ecome a8are of 'he
0locks 8ould 0e helpful.
<+ ?COAG ME> GAME
?hen speaking of reluc'ance and resis'ance - am reminded of a psychological game 8hich 'he
clien's migh' play 8i'h 'he counsellor. The game is called Ccoa/ meB
,,
8hich is played from 'he role of a
persecu'or. According 'o 'he dynamics of 'his game< 'he person playing 'his game is in'en' on pu''ing 'he
o'her person do8n. -n 'he con'e/' of counselling< 'he clien' unconsciously pu's 'he counsellor off 0y
declining e+ery appeal from 'he counsellor. -' migh' happen 'ha' a counsellor una8are of 'he game pa''ern
may ge' hooked 0y 'he clien' and migh' 0e playing 'he complemen'ary role 'o main'ain 'he game pa''ern.
The counsellor migh' ha+e 'ried hisHher le+el 0es' 'o con+ince 'he clien' of 'he need for counselling a' a
par'icular phase of hisHher de+elopmen'. The clien' migh' say 'ha' a par'icular need has 'o 0e me' 0efore
counselling can 0e s'ar'ed. ?hen 'ha' par'icular need is me'< heHshe migh' propose ano'her need< and 'hus
'he person 8ill go on placing many unreasona0le demands and keeping 'he counsellor coa/ing himHher< and
finally 'he counsellor migh' ge' annoyed 8i'h 'he demands and lea+e 'he clien' 'o himHherself< mean8hile
feeling 0ad a0ou' 'he 8hole si'ua'ion. -' had 0een a perfec' game plan 'ha' 8as 8orked ou'.
?hen clien's are ei'her reluc'an' or resis'an'< i' is 8or'h e/ploring if 'he clien's are playing 'he game
of Ccoa/ me.B -f i' is a game plan 'ha' is cunningly e/ecu'ed< 'hen 'he counsellor can address 'he clien' in
8ords similar 'o 'he follo8ing and s'op 'he game proceeding fur'her: CJou seem 'o 0e finding i' difficul' 'o
'alk 'o me. - 8ould like 'o assure you 'ha' - am a+aila0le 'o you 8hene+er you decide 'o speak up< and for
'he 'ime 0eing 8e 8ind up 'he session.B This une/pec'ed response from 'he counsellor migh' shake 'he clien'<
and heHshe migh' lea+e 0ehind her game pa''ern and 0egin 'o ans8er.
**
#
7uman 0ody is a +ehicle of communica'ion. -' is purely 'he 'rue aspec' of our personhood. -' can
speak more eloquen'ly 'han any o'her medium of communica'ion. As a counsellor one needs 'o kno8 ho8
our 0ody re+eals inner disposi'ions and mo'i+es. The 0ody is 'he sures' and 'he mos' comprehensi+e
re+ela'ion of our personali'y.
8. 5OD: SPEAKS MOST
The sures' 8ay 'o unders'and a person is 'o o0ser+e hisHher 0ody language P non+er0al 0eha+iour.
The 'raining 8e recei+e in 'he schools and 'he socie'y does no' 'each us 'o read 'he non-+er0al 0eha+iours.
-n counselling si'ua'ions< 'he counsellor can ge' lo's of informa'ion ;and more or less accura'e informa'ion>
0y o0ser+ing 'he non-+er0al 0eha+iour of 'he counsellee. =o0er' =. Carkhuff recommends o0ser+ing 'he
non+er0al 0eha+iour 'hus:
Obser!ing skills in!ol!e the helper)s ability to see and understand the non*!erbal beha!iour of the
helpee. These skills are essential because the richest source of empathy is the helper)s obser!ation of the
helpee)s physical beha!iours. #e must obser!e those aspects of the helpee)s appearance and beha!iour
which tell us about the helpee)s energy le!el, her feeling and her degree of congruence +whether she really is
as she appears,. The helpee gi!es us many cues to her experience in her physical beha!iour and
appearance. #hen all other cues to the helpee)s experience confuse us, we must return to the most basic
e!idence of all - the helpee)s beha!iour.
'.
!o8 'he counsellor is in+i'ed 'o focus hisHher a''en'ion on 'he cues 'o read 'he non+er0al 0eha+iours
of 'he clien'. @nce - had 0een 'o a medical e/hi0i'ion. 9oing 'hrough 'he +arious s'alls< - came across a
room a' 'he en'rance of 8hich 8as 8ri''en QThe 0ody ne+er lies.Q -' 8as 'he forensic science s'all. ?e ha+e
differen' means or +ehicles of communica'ion. ?ha' is e+iden'ly kno8n is 'he medium of a language
'hrough 8hich 8e communica'e 8i'h one ano'her. &+en 0efore language could de+elop humans 8ould ha+e
0een communica'ing 8i'h one ano'her. Cer'ainly 'hey 8ould ha+e communica'ed 0y 'heir 0odies< 'ha' are
also +ehicles of communica'ion. The primary mode of communica'ion for 'he primi'i+e manH8oman 8as 'he
0ody.
The same phase of de+elopmen' is seen e+en no8 in 0a0ies. 4a0ies rely purely on 'heir 0ody
language for communica'ion along 8i'h grun's< cries< gurgles< and 'he like 8hich la'er de+elop in'o a
language. The psychologis' Mehra0ian has es'ima'ed 'he percen'age of each of 'he modes of
communica'ionK and he came up 8i'h as'onishing resul's. 7e says 'ha' 8e communica'e 7N +er0ally< *2N
+ocally and ..N 0odily.
,1
-n o'her 8ords communica'ion is mos'ly 0y 0ody language< 'hen 0y paralinguis'ic
0eha+iour ;like accen'< emphasis< in'ona'ion< and pauses>< and 'he leas' is 0y 8ords. The clien' 8ho comes 'o
you< 'herefore< speaks mos'ly 'hrough hisHher 0ody. -f you are no' a0le 'o read hisHher 0ody language< 'hen
you miss mos' of hisHher communica'ion. 7ence - s'ress on reading 'he 0ody language of 'he clien'. -n 'his
s'ep - am endea+ouring 'o in'roduce 'o you in 8ha' all 8ays our 0ody re+eals hidden messages.
.. THE UNCONSCIOUS PEEPS THROUGH THE 5OD:
The in'eres' of 'he psychologis's in unders'anding 'he 0ody language s'ar'ed some 'hir'y years 0ack<
'hough of course )reud himself o0ser+ed in 136. 'ha' pa'ien's re+ealed 'hemsel+es 'hrough 'heir finger'ips.
,7
People ins'inc'i+ely read 0ody languages from 'he +ery 0eginning of 'he human raceK ye' real scien'ific s'udy
0egan only in recen' years. (inesics< 'he science of 0ody language< is in i's infancy. All 'he same 8e are
endea+ouring 'o e/ploi' 'he kno8ledge gained 'hrough kinesics 'o unders'and 'he clien' and help himHher
0e''er.
*,
@nce - happened 'o see a group of men sea'ed in 'he parlour of an ins'i'u'ion. @ne among 'hem
Prakash 0y name had already placed his legs on a small 'a0le< 8hile 'he o'hers 8ere sea'ed along 8i'h him in
a circle. The o'her men 8ho sa' 8i'h him 8ere his equals or his Euniors. -n a 8ay Prakash 8as asser'ing his
dominance< superiori'y< and his 'erri'orial righ's. @n o'her occasions also - had o0ser+ed 'he same
indi+idualK 8hene+er his s'a'us is 'hrea'ened< he immedia'ely assumes 'he pos'ure of placing his legs on 'he
'a0le in fron'. @n ano'her occasion< - 8as anima'ing a group of young girls for communi'y 0uilding. All of
us 8ere sea'ed on ma''resses 'ha' 8ere 8ell arranged in 'he room. A num0er of cushions 8ere also pro+ided
so 'ha' any one desiring a li''le more suppor' or ele+a'ion could +ery 8ell make use of 'hem. @n en'ering 'he
room< - found Clara< one of 'he par'icipan's sea'ed on an ele+a'ed sea'. $he 8as +ery conspicuous 0y her
ele+a'ion. - did no' pay much a''en'ion 'o her raised sea'ing. During 'he in'erac'ions - could make ou' 'ha'
Clara 8as superior in in'elligence and prac'ical a0ili'y. $he 8as sho8ing 'o me and 'o 'he 8hole group 'ha'
she is superior 'o 'he res'. 4o'h Prakash and Clara 8ere speaking eloquen'ly 'hrough 'heir pos'ures. The
unconscious someho8 leaks 'hrough 'he 0ody if no' 'hrough 'he 8ords.
1. 5OD: SPEAKS A LANGUAGE
-n e+ery language 'here are 8ords< phrases< and sen'ences.
,2
There are simple sen'ences< compound
sen'ences< and comple/ sen'ences. ?e ha+e ac'i+e +oice and passi+e +oiceK and 8e ha+e direc' speech< and
indirec' speech and a 8hole lo' of grammar. $ince 0ody mo+emen's and ges'ures are a language< 'hey 'oo
should 0e ha+ing 8ords and sen'ences as in a spoken language. &/per's in (inesics say 'ha' 0ody language
in fac' has 8ords and sen'ences. A li''le ges'ure of 'ouching 'he mou'h or 'he nose is like 8ordsK and a
clus'er of ges'ures ;like dila'ed pupils< preening 0eha+iour and 'hum0s in 'he pocke' 8i'h 'he o'her fingers
poin'ing do8n> is like a sen'ence made up of many 8ords. ?ords ha+e differen' meanings in differen'
con'e/'sK for e/ample< 'he 8ord Mligh'M 8ill mean 1> an ar'icle 'ha' is no' hea+y< or #> an ar'icle 'ha' emana'es
luminous par'icles< or *> 'he luminosi'y i'self. "ike8ise e+ery ges'ure has 'o 0e unders'ood in i's o8n
con'e/'K one and 'he same ges'ure may ha+e differen' meanings in differen' con'e/'s.
7a+ing spoken a0ou' 0ody language and 'he 8ays 'o read 'he 0ody language< - should 8arn 'he
reader of 'he danger of misreading 'he language. Take for e/ample crossed legs. -' may 0e a sign of
defensi+enessK 0u' 'his same ges'ure 8ill 0e used 8hen a couple< for e/ample< is sea'ed on a 0ench 8i'h a
'hird person facing 'hem. $ince 'hey feel di+ided 0e'8een '8o desires ;'ha' of closing a circle 0e'8een 'hem
and of including 'he 'hird par'y as 8ell>< 'he couple 8ill sol+e 'he pro0lem 0y crossing 'heir legs in such a
8ay 'ha' 'hey form a closed circle 0e'8een '8o of 'hemK a' 'he same 'ime 'heir 0odies 8ill 0e 'urned 'o 'he
'hird person 'o include himHher.
?hile reading a ges'ure< i' is good 'o go 0y clus'er< con'e/' and cul'ure. )or e/ample< crossed arms
and crossed legs 8i'h 'he head do8n forms a clus'er of defensi+eness or nega'i+e a''i'ude. "ike8ise a fro8n
may indica'e annoyance 8hen someone is cons'an'ly making 'he same mis'ake< or i' could 0e also a sign of
in'ense concen'ra'ion. $o here 'he con'e/' is +ery impor'an' 'o read a ges'ure. Cul'ure 'oo can colour our
ges'ure and may gi+e differen' meanings. -n some cul'ures people shake 'heir head side8ays 'o say CyesM and
mo+e 'he head up and do8n 'o say MnoMK and 'he re+ersal is in prac'ice in some o'her cul'ures. This is a
cul'ural difference. $o 8hen all is said and done< i' is good 'o 'ake in'o accoun' 'he fac'ors of clus'er<
con'e/'< and cul'ure 'o read a ges'ure accura'ely. &+en af'er all 'hese< i' is good 'o keep your Eudgemen'
'en'a'i+e les' you should make 'he 0lunder of 0eing cocksure a0ou' a human 0eha+iour.
?e 8ere 0orn naked< 0o'h physically and psychologically. 4u' sooner or la'er< 8e 8ere clo'hed
physicallyK and also clo'hed psychologically. The psychological clo'hing are masks 8hich 8e 8ear mos' of
'he 'ime. :us' 0ecause 8e keep on our masks< o'hers find i' difficul' 'o kno8 8ha' is 0ehind. The clien's
8ho come 'o you are also 8earing masks< making i' difficul' for you 'o unders'and 'hem. $poken languages
may decei+e us 0u' 'he real person 0ehind 'he masks leaks 'hrough 'he masks and peers ou' piercing 'he
masks 8i'hou' 'he conscious con'rol of 'he indi+iduals. The medium 'hrough 8hich a clien' comes ou' of
hisHher hiding ;0ehind 'he masks> is hisHher 0ody. 7ence o0ser+a'ion of 'he 0ody mo+emen's and
e/pressions and reading 'hem 0ecome a necessi'y for 'he counsellor if heHshe 8an's 'o help 'he clien'
adequa'ely.
/. DISPLACED ACTI6ITIES
*.
The counsellor o0ser+es 8ha' 'he counsellee manifes's ;re+eals of himHherself>. The counsellee
manifes's hisHher in'ernal s'a'e ;8ha' is going on 8i'hin himHherself>. This manifes'a'ion can 'ake place a'
'he conscious le+el or a' 'he unconscious le+el. ?hen a clien' 8eeps and 8ears a sad look heHshe is
manifes'ing consciously 'ha' some'hing is hur'ing himHher. $ome'imes 'he clien's may no' 0e 8illing 'o 'ell
you 8ha' is going on 8i'hin 'hemsel+es. They may hide cer'ain feelings of 'heirs or cer'ain in'ernal s'a'es<
'hus faking some'hing qui'e differen' from 8ha' 'hey are e/periencing 8i'hin. The counsellor can 0e of help
only 8hen heHshe unders'ands accura'ely 8ha' is happening 'o 'he clien' e+en 'hough heHshe is no' 8illing 'o
e/press i'. -' may no' 0e 'he ill 8ill of 'he clien' no' 8an'ing 'o re+eal. The fac' 'ha' heHshe is no' 8illing 'o
re+eal could 0e unconscious in 'he sense 'ha' i' is ou'side hisHher a8areness. ?he'her 'he clien' is
consciously hiding or unconsciously hiding< hisHher 0ody language leaks ou' 'he 'rue feeling of 'he clien'.
The 0ody language comes in 'he form of displaced ac'i+i'ies.
Displacemen' means e/pressing a cer'ain emo'ion in a si'ua'ion o'her 'han 'he one 'ha' aroused i'.
)or e/ample< 'he hus0and scolds 'he 8ifeK she is una0le 'o e/press her anger agains' her hus0and 0u' +en's
ou' her feeling of anger on her daugh'erK 'he daugh'er 8ill e/press her anger 'o8ards 'he mo'her 'o her li''le
0ro'herK and 'he li''le 0oy 0eing una0le 'o re'alia'e his sis'er 8ill go and kick 'he dog. 7ere 8e find a chain
of displacemen's< and in 'his case i' is anger. ?hene+er direc' e/pression of emo'ions is inhi0i'ed< 'he
emo'ions are e/pressed on some neu'ral or unrela'ed o0Eec' or person. $ome 'eenagers 8ho are no' a0le 'o
e/press 'heir aggression and anger agains' 'heir paren's may commi' suicide. -' is a case of displaced
aggression. The anger agains' 'he paren's is displaced on 'hemsel+es and so 'hey commi' suicide. People a'
'imes 0ea'ing 'heir o8n 0reas's and s'riking 'heir heads agains' 8alls sho8 displaced anger or grief. ?hen
8e are no' a0le 'o accep' our o8n defea's and failures< 'ake responsi0ili'y for 'he same< 0u' shif' 'hem on 'o
some o'her persons in 'he communi'y< i' is scapegoa'ing 8hich is a displacemen' ac'i+i'y. @nce - 8as
counselling a couple 8i'h 'hree 0oysK 'he counselling 'ook place in 'heir o8n home. The man complained
'ha' his 8ife had no' 'rained 'heir sons properly especially 'he one 8ho 8as pu''ing on 8eigh'. The man 'ook
'he leas' in'eres' in disciplining 'he sons< 0u' 0lamed his 8ife 8ho did more 'han her share. -' is defini'ely
scapegoa'ing< 8hich 8e kno8 is a displacemen' ac'i+i'y. A man 8as running a home for 'he aged in an
inadequa'e manner. @n +isi'ing 'he ins'i'u'ion< - 8as 8ondering 8hy could he no' reha0ili'a'e 'he old people
in o'her ins'i'u'ions 'ha' are 8ell run. ?hen - said 'his 'he man 8as +ery angry 8i'h me. 7e immedia'ely
0ea' his o8n head s'rongly and ga+e me an a0rup' ans8er. -' 8as +ery clear 'ha' 'he 0lo8 8as mean' for me
0u' since he could no' do 'ha' 'o me he 'urned i' on himself. This< indeed< is a displacemen' ac'i+i'y. 7ere
'he poin' - 8an' 'o dri+e home is 'ha' 0ody language is a displaced ac'i+i'y.
,3

;. PS:CHOD:NAMICS OF FREUD
?hen conflic's or unaccep'a0le desires are un0eara0le for 'he conscious mind< 'hey are pushed 'o 'he
unconscious 0y 'he primary defence mechanism. ?hen some'hing associa'ed 8i'h 'he repressed ma'erials
'riggers off 'he ma'erials in 'he unconscious< 'hey 8ould like 'o come 'o 'he surface of 'he conscious< in
8hich case 'he secondary defence mechanism< 0eing una0le 'o push 'he ma'erials in'o 'he unconscious<
displaces 'hem on an innocen' o0Eec'< and 'his is called pho0iaK if i' con+er's 'he ma'erials in'o 0odily
ailmen's 8i'hou' physical cause< 'hen i' is hys'eriaK if in 'he unconscious 'he repressed ma'erials 0ecome
independen' and insula'ed< ha+ing 'heir o8n au'onomy independen'ly of 'he conscious mind i' is a
disassocia'ed s'a'e like amnesia< somnam0ulism< fugue< dual personali'y< and de+il or di+ine possession.
Thus 'he secondary defence mechanism keeps 'he repressed ma'erials coming 'o 'he conscious 0y displacing
'hem in one 8ay or o'her.
?hen e+en 'his displacing fails< 'hen 'he repressed ma'erials come 'o 'he conscious mind and 'he
indi+idual has 8ha' is called an/ie'yK 'his an/ie'y can +ery 8ell 0e o0ser+ed 0y any0ody. The principle of
'he psychodynamics of )reud is a' 8ork in non+er0al language. ?hen a feeling or emo'ion does no' find
direc' e/pression for 8ha'e+er reason< 'he +ery feeling or emo'ion finds an ou'le' in'o 0odily ges'ures.
Fnconscious ma'erials or 'he hidden 'hough's< feelings and an/ie'ies leak ou' 'hrough our 0ody language.
.6
@ur 0ody language is 'he 'ru'hful aspec' of our personali'y. -' re+eals 'he 'ru'h 8e do no' like or for 8hich
8e are no' prepared.
.1
*1
-. FIGED MUSCULAR PATTERNS RE6EAL SET ATTITUDES
?ha'e+er feelings one e/periences< 'hese feelings are e/pressed physically. -' is e/pressed in 'he
8ay you hold your 0ody< 'he 8hole carriage and compor'men'< 8hich resul' in fi/ed muscular pa''erns and
correspondingly se' a''i'udes 'o8ard life in general. These 'hings persis' unless some in'er+en'ions are made.
@ne could change 'he feelings and e+en'ually correc' 'he fi/ed muscular pa''ern< or one could also change
'he fi/ed muscular pa''ern and 'hus influence 'he feeling. Deep massaging and s're'ching e/ercises 8ork on
'his principle.
.#

These attitudes and fixed muscular pattern reflect, enhance, and sustain one another. It is as if the
body sees what the mind belie!es and the heart feels, and ad/usts itself accordingly. This gi!es rise to a way
of holding oneself, as pride can swell the chest or fear contract the shoulders. The muscular pattern in turn
sustains the attitude, as for example, slouching forward, which makes e!ery action more difficult and so
makes life itself seem burdensome.
.%
)rom 'he foregoing passages i' is o0+ious 'ha' 8e can read 'he 'hough's and feelings of o'hers e+en
from 'he 8ay 'hey hold 'heir 0ody in fi/ed muscular pa''erns. Thus a rigid pos'ure is indica'i+e of angerK a
rela/ed pos'ure sho8s happiness< a slouched pos'ure 0e'rays sadness and a 'ense pos'ure poin's 'o an/ie'y.
.,
The founder of ges'al' 'herapy< )ri'A Perls< ga+e much impor'ance 'o 0ody a8arenessK his clien's are
e/pec'ed 'o 0ecome a8are of 'heir 0ody language< 'heir 0rea'hing< 'heir +oice quali'y and 'heir emo'ions.
This pa+es 'he 8ay for 'he clien's 'o o8n 'heir o8n feelings and in'ernal s'a'es.
..

<. S9EAT7SHIRTS AND ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
-f - 8ere 'o in'erpre' Dr. &ric 4erneMs s8ea'shir's 'ha' are ul'erior 'ransac'ions< - 8ould 'erm 'hem as
0ody language ;of 8hich 8e are concerned a' presen'>. @neMs 0eha+iour< demeanour< compor'men' P all
speak much more eloquen'ly 'han 8ords. -n Transac'ional Analysis< i' is spoken of as Cs8ea'shir's.M People
8ear s8ea'shir's 8i'h some inscrip'ions on 'hem. These inscrip'ions are messages. Mos'ly 8e find 'hem
0eing 8ri''en on 'he fron' por'ion of 'he s8ea'shir'. A' 'imes 8e find some inscrip'ions on 'he 0ack por'ion
of 'he s8ea'shir' as 8ell. $urprisingly enough< 8e find a' 'imes 'ha' 'he message 8ri''en on 'he fron' por'ion
is Eus' 'he opposi'e of 8ha' is 8ri''en on 'he 0ack. -n all pro0a0ili'y 'he people 8ho 8ear cer'ain s8ea'shir's
are communica'ing 'o 'he people 8i'h 8hom 'hey are in con'ac'.
Transac'ional Analys's ha+e iden'ified some of 'he common messages 8e con+ey 0y our 0ody
language. There may 0e Eus' one message or mul'iple messages or con'radic'ory messages. 9ee'ha ac's +ery
'ough. 4y looking a' her< people keep a dis'ance in 'he office. $he is 8earing a s8ea'shir' 8i'h 'he message
CI & #$ug! nd s$ Bee' *$ur dis#nce.B ?hen 'his message is 8ri''en large on her 0ody< no0ody 8ill 'hink
of approaching her. 9ee'ha may 0e qui'e unconscious and in fac' she is. @penly a' 'he conscious le+el she
may 0e pro'es'ing 8hen poin'ed ou' 'ha' she is 8earing a message asking 'he people 'o keep 'heir dis'ance.
$unil ac's helplessK he is al8ays in need of help. People around him Eudge him 'o 0e incompe'en' for any
8or'h8hile 8ork and so he is marginaliAed. 7e is 8earing 'he s8ea'-shir' CI & !el'less nd s$ 'lese #Be
cre $( &e.B Those 8ho play 'he role of a rescuer 8ill immedia'ely rush 'o render him help and e+en
+olun'eer 'o 'ake care of him. There are ac'ually persons 8ho are helpless and ye' do no' play any
psychological game. -' does no' refer 'o such persons 0u' only 'o 'hose persons 8ho are capa0le of looking
af'er 'hemsel+es and ye' appear 'o 0e helpless. Anil is an in'elligen' and efficien' sales represen'a'i+e. 7e
has 'he righ' 8ord a' 'he righ' momen'K he is polished and poli'eK his unconscious need is 'o 8ear 'he
message CI & s&r# nd s$ d&ire &e.B =eka is a s8ee' ladyK her 8alk and 'alk are gracefulK she is
8elcoming and 8arm in her rela'ionship. People around her 8an' 'o associa'e 8i'h her. =eka is 8earing 'he
s8ea'shir' FI & nice nd s$ ''r$@e $( &e.B =icco does no' seem 'o possess enough of in'elligence. 7e
asks funny ques'ions in 'he class and he is 'he 0u'' of 'he class. @f'en he is singled ou' 0y 'he 'eachers 'o
+en' 'heir anger. =icco is 8earing 'he s8ea'shir' CI & s#u'id nd s$ cri#iciHe &e.B =adhika has
propor'iona'e fea'ures< a charming look< and any0ody 8ill fall for her. $he is 8earing 'he s8ea'shir' C I &
seC* nd s$ c$&e nd ge# &e.B People unconsciously 8ear cer'ain messagesK people around 'hem pick up
*7
'hose messages unmis'akinglyK and a 8hole lo' of ul'erior 'ransac'ions go on among us 'he 8hole 'ime. Thus
'hrough s8ea'shir's 8e communica'e our hidden messages.
4. ENERG: LE6EL
4efore any'hing else< 8ha' impresses upon 'he counsellor is 'he physical appearance of 'he
counsellee. The amoun' of disorganiAa'ion can 0e made ou' from 'he 8ay one appears. -f oneMs energy is
+ery much drained 0y 'he conflic's and demands in oneBs day-'o-day li+ing< 8e canno' e/pec' 'he clien' 'o
appear nea' and clean. ?hen a person is nea'< i' only indica'es 'ha' hisHher energy le+el is a' 'he op'imum
le+el. Cer'ainly i' 'akes a cer'ain amoun' of energy 'o main'ain oneself clean and 'o appear nea'. -f 'he
grooming is markedly poor< 'hen 'he personMs energy le+el 'oo is +ery poor and lo8. A drooping head<
slumped shoulders< a ca+ed in ches'< slo8 and 0urdened gai' indica'e clearly a lo8 le+el of energy< and
'herefore 8eakness and defea' in life. @n 'he con'rary< 8hen a person carries hisHher head erec'< 8i'h hisHher
shoulders fle/i0ly s'raigh'< ches' fully e/'ended and a gai' 'ha' is ligh'< heHshe indica'es high energy and a
confiden' ou'look.
.1
Along 8i'h 'he non+er0al 0eha+iour< one should no'ice 'he 0ody-0uild< pos'ure< and
grooming. -n cer'ain cul'ures< indi+iduals do no' com0. They Eus' come from 0ed and are comfor'a0le 'o 0e
so in any social si'ua'ion< 0ecause in 'hose cul'ures mos' of 'hem do so. -n 'his case< i' does no' deno'e lo8
le+el energy 0ecause of 'he cul'ural difference.
2. E:E7SCANNING
!eurolinguis'ic Programming ;a00re+ia'ed as !"P as de+eloped 0y :ohn 9rinder and =ichard
4andler in recen' years> has de+ised a me'hod of ge''ing informa'ion a0ou' 8ha' is going on 8i'hin a person
0y 8a'ching hisHher eye mo+emen's. This is called Ceye scanningB
.7
in !"P. ?hen you remem0er some'hing
from your pas' e/perience< your eyes mo+e up 'o 'he lef' corner for a frac'ion of a second. ;5isual Memory>
;Figure 2>.
-f 'he eyes mo+e up 'o 'he righ' corner ;5isual Cons'ruc'ion> ;Figure 80>< 'hen one is cons'ruc'ing a
+isual image 8hich one did no' ha+e early.

Figure 2 Figure 80
6isul Me&$r* 6isul C$ns#ruc#i$n
)or e/ample< - am asking you 'o imagine yourself in 'he cos'ume of a Eudge. $ince you ha+e ne+er
8orn 'he cos'ume of a Eudge< you need 'o cons'ruc' an image of yourself in 'ha' a''ire. Therefore< 8hene+er
you are accessing 0y 'he mo+emen' of 'he eyes up 'o 'he righ' corner< i' is sure 'ha' you are ha+ing some'hing
+isual 8hich is 0eing cons'ruc'edK and if up 'o 'he lef' corner< you remem0er a 'hing you ha+e seen. "ies are
cons'ruc'ed. -f - 'ell a lie 'ha' - ha+e seen a 0a0y elephan'< 'hen au'oma'ically my eyes 8ill go up 'o 'he righ'
corner< since - am repor'ing a +isual image 8hich is cons'ruc'ed. -f - ha+e really seen a person s'ealing<
8hen - speak of 'ha' my eyes 8ill mo+e up 'o 'he lef' corner. Care should 0e 'aken 'o read 'he eye
mo+emen's. @nce - 'augh' eye scanning 'o a group of counsellor 'rainees. @ne of 'hem< af'er a fe8 days<
repor'ed 'ha' he 8as insis'ing 8i'h a peer counsellee 'ha' she 8as 'elling a lie since he found her mos' of 'he
'ime looking up 'o 'he righ' corner. Ac'ually accessing a +isual or audi'ory or kines'he'ic mode is done
8i'hin a frac'ion of a second. As soon as you are asked a ques'ion< s'raigh' go your eyes 'o 'he specific
direc'ion and re'urn. Therefore look for 'he accessing ra'her 'han 8here 'he eyes res'.
*2
$o far 8e ha+e seen '8o eye mo+emen's. Thirdly if 'he eyes mo+e 'o 'he lef' side s'raigh'< 'hen i' is
an audi'ory memory ;Audi'ory Memory> ;Figure 88>
)or e/ample - ask you 'o recall your fa+ouri'e songK your eyes 8ill mo+e 'o 'he lef' side s'raigh'. -f -
ask you 'o 'ell me ho8 your girl friendMs laugh'er changes in'o a loud lamen'a'ion< your eyes 8ill 'urn 'o 'he
righ' on a s'raigh' line< since you ha+e 'o cons'ruc' 'he sound audi'orily ;Audi'ory Cons'ruc'ion> ;Figure7
8.>.

Figure 88 Figure 8.
Audi#$r* Me&$r* Audi#$r* C$ns#ruc#i$n

-f - ask you ho8 i' 8ould feel like 'o run on 'he seashore 0arefee'< your eyes 8ill go do8n 'o 'he
righ' corner. Do8n is 'he place 8hen 8e are in 'ouch 8i'h our feelings. ?hen 8e ask a clien'< M8ha' are you
feeling righ' no8LM heHshe 8ill look do8n 'o 'he righ'. 7eHshe is accessing and is in 'ouch 8i'h hisHher
feelings ;(ines'he'ic> ;Figure 81>.
?hen you are all 0y yourself ha+ing a self-'alk 'hen your eyes 8ill look do8n 'o 'he lef'
corner ;Audi'ory Dialogue> ;Figure 8/>.

Figure 81 Figure 8/
Kines#!e#ic Audi#$r* Dil$gue

These eye mo+emen's are of a fi/ed pa''ern< re+ealing 8ha' represen'a'ional sys'ems ;senses> you
are accessing a' a gi+en momen'. Thus eye scanning 8ill gi+e you addi'ional informa'ion a0ou' 'he clien'
si''ing in fron' of you.
80. 5REATHING %CALI5RATION+
Cali0ra'ion is ano'her 8ay of o0ser+ing a clien'Ms in'ernal s'a'e. Cali0ra'ion is e/'ernal manifes'a'ion
of 'he in'ernal s'a'e of mind.
.2
?he'her 'he clien' si''ing in fron' of you has some +isual e/perience or
audi'ory e/perience or kines'he'ic e/perience can 0e made ou' from 'he loca'ion of hisHher 0rea'hing.
4rea'hing high up in 'he ches'< or e+en 'emporarily s'opping of oneBs 0rea'h< 8ill indica'e 'ha' 'he person has
+isual images. ?hen 'he 0rea'hing is mos'ly fel' a' 'he diaphragm< 'he person has audi'ory e/perienceK and if
oneBs 0rea'hing is +ery deep< lo8 in 'he s'omach< i' 8ill 0e'ray kines'he'ic e/perience. A person really
ha+ing a s'rong kines'he'ic e/perience 8ill 0e 0rea'hing +ery lo8 a' 'he 0o''om of hisHher s'omach< 'ha' is a'
'he a0domen.
*3
4y eye scanning and cali0ra'ion< you 8ill ha+e some informa'ion a0ou' 'he clien' 8hom you are
going 'o counsel. $ince 8e in'end 'o unders'and 'he clien' in all hisHher manifes'a'ion< 8e o0ser+e 'he eye
mo+emen's and 0rea'hing pa''erns. The more you o0ser+e 'he clien'< 'he 0e''er i' is.
88. HAND AND ARM GESTURES
=u00ing 'he palms indica'es posi'i+e e/pec'a'ion ges'ures ;Figure 8;>. Tigh'ly clenched hands is a
frus'ra'ion ges'ure signalling 'ha' 'he person is holding 0ack a nega'i+e a''i'ude< suspicious< and is +ery
difficul' 'o rela'e 'o ;Figure 8->.

Figure 8; Figure 8-
Ru""ing #!e Pl&sD Tig!#l* clenc!ed HndsD
P$si#i@e EC'ec##i$n H$lding "cB neg#i@e ##i#ude) sus'ici$us) E
is @er* di((icul# #$ rel#e #$
$'eepling hands re+eal a confiden' and superior a''i'ude ;Figure 8<>. -' designa'es 'he confiden' and
some'imes smug< pon'ifical< egois'ic< or proud ges'ure. A0solu'e self-confidence displayed in superior-
su0ordina'e rela'ionship.
Figure 8<
S#ee'ling HndsD C$n(iden# E Su'eri$r A##i#ude
,6
9ripping 'he 8ris's< hands< or arms 0ehind is a confiden' and superior ges'ure ;Figures 84) 82) nd
.0>. Thum0 displays< in 8ha'e+er form are done< signal dominan' and aggressi+e a''i'ude and e+en ridicule
or disrespec' for 'he o'her.
.3

7olding an arm 0ehind 'he 0ack and clenching 'he hand 'igh'ly 8hile 'he o'her hand grips 'he 8ris'
or arm ;locked 8ris' ges'ure> is a self-con'rol ges'ure.

Figure 84 Figure 82 Figure .0
Gri''ing 9ris# Gri''ing Hnd Gri''ing Ar&

All #!e T!ree indic#eD C$n(iden# nd S'eri$r
8.. HAND7TO7FACE GESTURES
Co+ering 'he mou'h ;Figure .8>< 'ouching 'he nose or sligh'ly ru00ing 'he nose usually 8i'h inde/
finger ;Figure ..>< ru00ing 'he eye ;Figure .1>< 'he neck scra'ch ;Figure ./>< and 'he collar pull ;Figure
.;>: all indica'e decei'< dou0'< lying< reEec'ion< Cno<B no' sure ho8 'o approach a su0Eec' or 8ha' audience
reac'ion 'o i' migh' 0e. Fingers in #!e &$u#!D Feels insecure nd s$ An#s ressurnce.
,1

Figure .8 Figure .. Figure .1
C$@ering #!e M$u#! T$uc!ing #!e N$se Ru""ing #!e E*e
All #!e T!ree Indic#eD Decei#) Sel(7d$u"# %I d$n># Bn$A+ $r l*ing

Figure ./ Figure .;
T!e NecB Scr#c! T!e C$llr Pull

5$#! indic#eD decei#) d$u"# $r l*ing
,#
Touching 'he ear or earlo0e ;Figure .-> signals 'ha' one is fed up 8i'h 8ha' one heard and so 8an's
'o 'alk. 7and suppor'ing 'he head - 4oredom %Figure .<+.

Figure .- Figure .<
T$uc!ing #!e Er $r Erl$"eD Hnd su''$r#ing #!e HedD
Fed u' Ai#! A!# $ne !erd E s$ An#s #$ #lB 5$red$&
Tugging erD In#erru'# ges#ure %An#ing #$ #lB+
)ingers or hand 'ouching 'he chin< s'roking 'he chin< 'ouching 'he cheeks. -' is also done 0y 0ringing
a hand 'o 'he face< pu''ing oneBs chin in 'he palm< and e/'ending oneBs inde/ finger along oneBs check< and
'he remaining fingers are posi'ioned 0elo8 'he mou'h: are all ;cri'ical-> e+alua'ion ges'ures< or decision-
making ges'ures ;Figure .4 nd .2>.
,*
Figure .4 Figure .2
Fingers $r !nd #$uc!ing #!e C!in) s#r$Bing #!e C!in) #$uc!ing #!e C!eeBsD T!inBing) e@lu#i$n $r
decisi$n &Bing ges#ure) c$&&unic#es n*#!ing (r$& "$red$& #$ e@lu#i@e in#eres#.
Hnd7#$7c!ecB is #!inBer ges#ure

7ead-ru00ing and head-slapping ges'ures ;Figure 10> and palm ru00ing 'he hair or 'he 0ack of 'he
neck ;Figure 18>: frus'ra'ion.
16
Palm 'o 0ack of neck 8hich is unders'ood as ho' under 'he collar 8ill also mean defensi+e 0ea'ing
pos'ure.

Figure 10 Figure 18
Hed7Sl''ingD Frus#r#i$n Hir) 5cB $( #!e NecB) nd Hed7Ru""ingD Frus#r#i$n

5$#! $( #!e& indic#eD De(ensi@e "e#ing '$s#ure
,,
81. ARM AND LEG 5ARRIERS
)olded arms ;Figure 1.>< crossed legs ;Figures 11 nd 1/>< ankle-lock ;Figure 1;>: !ega'i+e and
defensi+e a''i'udeK displeasureK 'ough-minded and s'u00orn< closed a''i'udeK holding 0ack a nega'i+e a''i'ude<
emo'ion< ner+ousness or fear and hea'ed argumen's 'ake place.
11
Crossed legs and crossed arms means
ad+ersary. Arms crossed on ches' and 'he hands fis'-like 8ill indica'e defensi+eness and pro'ec'i+e pos'ure.

Figure 1. Figure 11
F$lded Ar&s Cr$ssed Legs
5$#! indic#eD Neg#i@e nd de(ensi@e ##i#ude

Figure 1/ Figure 1;
Cr$ssed Legs AnBle L$cB
,.
5$#! indic#eD Neg#i@e nd de(ensi@e ##i#ude
L$cBed Angles nd Clenc!ed Hnds Aill indic#eD H$lding "cB s#r$ng (eeling nd e&$#i$ns

8/. READINESS GESTURES
7ands on hips ges'ures ;Figure 1-> hands on knee ;Figures 1<> or on 'high ;Figure 14>K learning
for8ard and gripping 'he chair 8hile si''ing as 'hough one is a0ou' 'o mo+e or s'ar' and si''ing on edge of
chair: =eadiness ges'ures and orien'ed 'o8ards ac'ion.
1#

Figure 1- Figure 1< Figure 14
Hnds7$n7Hi's Hnds $n Knee Hnds $n T!ig!
All #!e T!ree indic#eD Rediness
8;. COURTSHIP GESTURES
Cour'ship ges'ure also consis's of preening ges'ure 8hich is performed for 'he 0enefi' of 'he se/ual
par'ner.
?omen Preening: 'he head flicked 0ack 'o 'oss 'he hair 0ack o+er 'he shoulders< e/posed 8ris's<
rolling hips< side8ays glance< sligh'ly opened mou'h< 8e' lips and lips'ick ;Figure 12>.
Men Preening: legs apar' in an aggressi+e cro'ch display< 'hum0s 'ucked in'o 'he 0el' or 'he 'ops of
'he pocke's ;Figure /0>.
1*
,1

Figure 12
Figure /0
9$&n Preening Mn Preening
5$#! indic#eD C$ur#s!i' ges#ure
$e/ual aggressi+eness is sho8n 8hen one 'ucks his 'hum0s in'o 'he 0el' or 'he 'ops of 'he pocke's.
?hen '8o male persons are using 'he signals of 'hum0s-in-0el' and hands-n-hips ges'ure< i' means 0o'h 'he
males are engaged in siAing each o'her up and ge''ing ready for an aggression.
1,
8-. HEAD GESTURES
?hen 'he head is up and s'raigh' ;Figure /8>: !eu'ral a''i'ude 'o 8ha' one hearsK 8hen 'he head is
'il'ed 'o one side ;Figure /.>: -n'eres'ed in 8ha' one hears and coopera'i+eK 8hen 'he head is do8n ;Figure
/1>: !ega'i+e and Eudgemen'al a''i'ude.

Figure /8 Figure /. Figure /1
Hed is u' nd s#rig!# Hed is #il#ed #$ $ne side Hed is d$An
%/8+ Neu#rl ##i#ude #$ A!# $ne !ers) %/.+ In#eres#ed in A!# $ne !ers E c$$'er#i@e) %/1+ Neg#i@e
E Iudge&en#l ##idude
,7
"eaning 0ack8ard 8i'h 0o'h 'he hands are in'erlaced 0ehind 'he head suppor'ing i'< and a' 'imes
crossing 'he legs: @ne feels confiden'< superior< dominan' and an air of superiori'y

;Figure //>.
1.

Figure //
5$#! #!e !nds re in#erlced "e!ind #!e !edD Feels c$n(iden#) su'eri$r) d$&inn#) nd n ir $(
su'eri$ri#*.
8<. SMOKING GESTURES
?hen smoke is e/haled in an up8ard direc'ion ;Figure /;>: )eels posi'i+e< superior and confiden'.
?hen one 0lo8s 'he smoke do8n and also from 'he corner of 'he mou'h: An a''i'ude more nega'i+e<
secre'i+e and suspicious ;Figure /->.
11

,2
Figure /; Figure /-
S&$Be eC!led in n u'Ard direc#i$nD 5l$Aing s&$Be d$An E (r$& c$rner $( #!e &$u#!D
Feels '$si#i@e) su'eri$r E c$n(iden# An ##i#ude &$re neg#i@e) secre#i@e E sus'ici$us

84. O9NERSHIP GESTURES
"egs placed on 'he arms of 'he chair or on 'he desk or on 'hings 8ill indica'e a carefree and rela/ed
a''i'ude< 'erri'orial righ's< dominance and o8nership righ' o+er 'he ar'icle on 8hich one places hisHher legs
;Figure /<>. $i''ing 8i'h a leg o+er arm of chair or s'raddling a chair 'ha' is si''ing 8i'h 'he chair 0ack
ser+ing as a shield 8ill mean announcing dominance< 'erri'orial righ's< and domineering pose.
Touching< leaning agains' an ar'icle or au'omo0ile and 'aking a pho'o of i': Pride of o8nership
;Figure /4>.
17

Figure /< Figure /4
Legs 'lced $n #!e r&s $( #!e c!ir $r $n #!e desBD T$uc!ing) lening
OAners!i' rig!# gins# n r#icle $r u#$&$"ile E
e@en #Bing '!$#$ $( i#D
Pride $( $Aners!i'
82. OTHER GESTIRES
-4
N$n7@er"l 5e!@i$ur P$ssi"le Mening
1. The simple smile:
Tee'h 'oge'her< 'ee'h une/posed 'ypically
nonsense smile.
The person is no' par'icipa'ing in any
ou'going ac'i+i'y. 7eHshe is smiling 'o
himHherself. The person is 0y himHherself and
happy.
#. The upper smile :
Fpper incisors e/posed usually 8i'h eye-
'o-eye con'ac' 0e'8een indi+iduals.
9ree'ing smile 0e'8een friends. Children
gree'ing 'heir paren's.
*. The 4road $mile :
4o'h upper and lo8er incisors e/posed
and eye-'o-eye con'ac' seldom occurs.
Commonly seen during play and is of'en
associa'ed 8i'h laughing. $i'ua'ions of
pleasura0le e/ci'emen'.
,3
,. The o0long smile :
The lips are dra8n fully 0ack from 0o'h
upper and lo8er 'ee'h forming 'he o0long
8i'h 'he lips. There is no dep'h 'o 'his
smile.
This is 'he smile or grimace 8hen one is
pre'ending 'o enEoy a Eoke or off-'he-cuff
remark.
.. The lip-in smile : Coy-girl smile :
-' is much 'he same as 'he upper smile
e/cep' 'ha' 'he lo8er lip is dra8n in
0e'8een 'he 'ee'h.
The person feels in some8ay su0ordina'e 'o
'he person heHshe is mee'ing.
1. &ye0ro8s are usually do8n< par'icularly
a' 'he inner ends< producing a fro8n.
The lips are 'ensed and pushed sligh'ly
for8ardK 'he head and chin are 'hrus'
for8ard< eye0all-'o-eye0all con'ac'.
Conflic'.
7. ?ide open mou'h and 'he chin drops. $hock or grea' surprise or in'ense
concen'ra'ion.
2. A+oiding eye con'ac'. Fnin'en'ionally communica'es dou0's and
possi0le pre+arica'ion.
3. )ro8n. Displeasure or confusion.
16. =aised &ye0ro8. &n+y or dis0elief.
11. Tigh'ening of 'he Ea8 muscles or
squin'ing of 'he eye.
An'agonism.
1#. $cuffling along 8i'h hands in 'he
pocke's< seldom looking up or no'icing
8here 'hey are headed.
DeEec'ion.
1*. ?alking 8i'h hands on 'he hips. $prin'er.
1,. Medi'a'i+e pose 8hile 8alking: head
do8n< hands clasped 0ehind 'he 0ack.
Preoccupied 8i'h a pro0lem. The
preoccupied 8alker.
1.. ?alking 8i'h chin raised< arms s8inging
e/aggera'edly< legs are some8ha' s'iff<
and 'he pace is deli0era'e and calcula'ed.
The self-sa'isfied< some8ha' pompous<
8an'ing 'o impress. The s'ru''er.
11. @pen hands. $inceri'y and openness.
17. $houlder shrugging 8i'h open-hands<
palms up8ards.
@pen na'ure of 'he person.
12. Fn0u''oning coa' or e+en 'ake i' off in
someone elseBs presence.
@pen and friendly. Concen'ra'ing on 8ha'
you are saying.
13. Dropping eyeglasses in'o 'he lo8er
0ridge of 'he nose and peering o+er 'hem.
An e+alua'i+e ges'ure 'ha' causes a nega'i+e
emo'ional reac'ion in o'hers.
#6. $lo8ly and deli0era'ely 'aking 'he
glasses off and carefully cleaning 'he
lenses or af'er remo+ing 'he glasses
pu''ing 'he earpiece of 'he frame in 'he
mou'h.
Procras'ina'ion< or pausing-for-'hough'
ges'ure or gaining 'ime.
#1. 9lasses are remo+ed ei'her quickly or
8i'h much emphasis and 'hro8n on 'he
'a0le.
&mo'ional ou'0urs' indica'ing Cno8 you are
going 'oo far.B
##. Pinching 'he 0ridge of 'he nose 8i'h
closed eyes.
9rea' 'hough' and concern a0ou' 'he decision
'o 0e made.
#*. $ide8ays glance. Dis'rus'ing a''i'ude.
#,. )ee' and Hor en'ire 0ody poin'ing 'o 'he
e/i'.
?ishes 'o end 'he mee'ing< con+ersa'ion< or
8ha'e+er is going on and is an/ious 'o lea+e.
.6
#.. Arms spread 8hile hands grip edge of
'a0le.
C"is'en 'o me< damn i'< - ha+e some'hing 'o
sayB posi'ion.
#1. Mo+ing in< speaking confiden'ially. -ndica'es an aggressi+e readiness co+er'ly.
#7. Physically narro8ing do8n 'he dis'ance
0e'8een 'he '8o.
An a''emp' 'o domina'e 'he o'her.
#2. Clenched hands 8i'h 'he 'hum0s ru00ing
agains' each o'her< cu'icle-picking and
hand-pinching< s'icking a pen or pencil in
'he mou'h 'o che8 or suck. Touching 'he
0ack of 'he chair 0efore si''ing do8n.
$lo8ly and gracefully 0rings her hand 'o
her 'hroa'< pinching 'he fleshy par' of 'he
hand< 'hum0 sucking and nail 0i'ing.
?an'ing reassurance.
#3. $hor' 0rea'hs. Angry.
*6. ?ringing hands. =equired 'o ans8er serious charges agains'
himHher.
*1.
Clenched fis'.
De'ermina'ion< anger< possi0le hos'ile ac'ion<
e/'reme emphasis< +ehemen' declara'ion<
fierce de'ermina'ion< despera'e resol+e<
defiance.
*#. Poin'ing inde/ finger. Communica'ing orders and discipline.
**. (icking a' 'he ground or imaginary
o0Eec'.
)eeling angry< frus'ra'ed or generally irri'a'ed.
*,. 7ands Eoined 'oge'her a' 'he 0ack< chin
'hrus' up8ards.
Au'hori'y posi'ion.
Au'hori'y: 'he sergean'.
*.. A par'ner pu''ing hisHher arm around 'he
o'herBs 8ais'< 8alking hand-in-hand< or
indulging in some o'her 'ype of holding.
Communica'es o8nership or 0elonging.
*1. Placing an o0Eec' on a desired space. &/'ending 'erri'orial righ's.
*7. &le+a'ing oneself. Dominance or superiori'y.
*2. Cigar smoking ceremony. $'a'us sym0ol< associa'ing cigars 8i'h 8eal'h.
Confidence and self- assurance.
*3. Clearing 'he 'hroa'. !er+ousness.
,6. Cigare''e-smoking. =ela/ed< 8hen 'he 'ension is released.
,1. ?his'ling. )righ'ened or apprehensi+e.
,#. )idge'ing in a chair. 1. Tired< #. ?ha' is 0eing said is no'
s'imula'ing< *. Programmed 'heir 0odies 'o
responding 'o a specific 'ime say< lunch 'ime<
,. Chair is no' 8ell adEus'ed .. Preoccupied
8i'h o'her 'hings.
,*. Pu''ing 'he el0o8s on a 'a0le< forming a
pyramid 8i'h hisHher forearms< and
holding 0o'h hands 'oge'her direc'ly in
fron' of 'he mou'h.
Playing ca'-and-mou'h 8i'h 'heir opposers
un'il 'hey fel' i' oppor'une 'o open up.
,,. :ingling money in pocke's. 5ery much concerned a0ou' money or lack of
i'.
,.. =es'raining an arm or gripping 'he 8ris'. &/presses inner conflic'.
,1. Doodling. -n'eres' is 8aning.
,7. The 0lank s'are. -n'eres' is 8aning.
,3. 7and 'o ches'. "oyal'y< hones'y and de+o'ion.
,3. Touching ges'ures. ?an'ing 'o in'errup' or emphasiAe a poin'<
.1
calming ges'ure< sho8ing affec'ion< feels
comfor'a0le in 'he company.
.6. ?oman si''ing 8i'h one leg 'ucked under
'he o'her.
Comfor' in ano'herBs presence.
1
.#
4y no8 you ha+e comple'ed 'he ini'ial formali'ies and ha+e 0een o0ser+ing 'he clien' 'o decipher
any non+er0al messages. !o8 s'ar's 'he impor'an' 'ask on 'he par' of 'he counsellor. 7eHshe is ac'i+ely
going 'o plunge in'o counselling. This is 'he s'age of laying 'he founda'ion for 'he edifice of counselling.
The counsellor is 0uilding a po8er 0ase for all 'he 'asks 'ha' ensue. 7ere 'he counsellor 8ill 0e using a
num0er of skills 'ha' 8ill prepare 'he clien' 'o ge' in+ol+ed. -n 'he firs' s'ep< 8e sa8 'he 'ask of 'he
counsellor as acquain'ing and a' 'he +ery same 'ime 8e realiAed 'ha' 'he clien' has 'o associa'e 8i'h 'he
counsellor. Clien'Ms good8ill alone is no' enough 0u' heHshe needs 'o in+ol+e ac'i+ely in 'he counselling
process. This can 0e done 8i'h 'he counsellorMs prac'ical a0ili'y 'o se' 'he s'age 0y a''ending physically 'o 'he
counsellee.
8. PH:SICAL ATTENDING
To s'ar' 8i'h< 'he counsellor a''ends 'o 'he clien'. There is more 'o a''ending 'han 8e can 'hink of.
?e use 'he 8ord Ma''endingM ins'ead of Ma''en'ion<M for 'he simple reason 'ha' 'he gerund a''ending indica'es a
process 8hereas 'he noun Ma''en'ionM por'rays a s'a'ic concep'. A' a gi+en momen' 8e are a8are of many
'hings in our en+ironmen'< 0u' 8e do no' a''end 'o all of 'hem. ?hen 8e a''end 'o some'hing 8e make a
selec'ion of a fe8 o0Eec's and 8e concen'ra'e our a8areness on 'hem. =eally speaking 8e can a''end only 'o
one o0Eec' a' a 'ime 'hough 8e are a8are of a num0er of 'hings a' 'he same 'ime. Hence ##ending is
c$ncen#r#ed Areness $( selec#ed $"Iec# in $ur en@ir$n&en#. -n a''ending< 'he o0Eec' is singled ou'
for close o0ser+a'ion. -' is a kind of gi+e and 'ake process of adEus'men'. There is a cons'an' adEus'men' 'ha'
goes on in 'he indi+idual as heHshe narro8s do8n hisHher a8areness on a par'icular o0Eec'. ?i'h a''ending
8e can o0ser+e an o0Eec' carefullyK 8e harness all our energy and channel i' in a chosen direc'ionK 0ecause a
num0er of 'hings are ignored< 'he efficiency in a''ending a par'icular o0Eec' is enhanced< and 'his facili'a'es
remem0ering. ?e can say 'ha' ##ending is s##e $( &ind se# ($r cer#in Bind $( s#i&ulus.
13
There are fac'ors 'ha' influence our a''ending as o0Eec'i+e fac'ors< as 8ell as su0Eec'i+e ones.
@0Eec'i+e fac'ors ;like a changing s'imulus< an in'ense s'imulus< a large s'imulus< a no+el s'imulus and a
con'ras'ing s'imulus> usually ca'ch our a''en'ion. These are of li''le +alue 'o us in 'he counselling con'e/'<
0ecause 8e 'ake 'he clien' as heHshe appearsK and for our sake of a''ending 8e canno' make himHher
colourful< con'ras'ing< and changing. 4u' 'he su0Eec'i+e fac'ors are of real +alue 'o us< for< 0y manipula'ing
'hem 8e can augmen' our a''ending. )or e/ample< in'eres' is one of 'he su0Eec'i+e fac'ors. -f you are no'
in'eres'ed in 'he clien' and in your helping profession< i' is unlikely 'ha' you a''end properly 'o 'he clien'.
Jour a''i'ude is also responsi0le for your rich or poor a''ending. -f you ha+e a nega'i+e and hos'ile a''i'ude 'o
'he clien'< 'hen your a''ending 8ill 0e a+er'ed au'oma'ically. The mood of 'he momen' also affec's your
a''ending. -f you feel lousy af'er an a''ack of +irus fe+er< you are unlikely 'o a''end properly. 4y adEus'ing
your su0Eec'i+e fac'ors< you can defini'ely increase 'he efficiency of your a''ending. -n counselling< 'he
a''ending 'ha' is called for is a +olun'ary one. -' migh' also happen 'ha' af'er ha0i'ua'ing yourself o+er a
period of 'ime< you find 'ha' you are ha0i'ually inclined 'o a''end 'o clien's ;'ha' is your a''ending has
0ecome a ha0i'>.
76
T8o kinds of a''en'ion are spoken of in counselling. @ne is physical a''ending< and 'he o'her is
psychological a''ending. @ne 8ill kno8 'ha' an indi+idual is a''ending psychologically from 'he 8ay one
has picked up 'he clien'Bs message along 8i'h hisHher feelings.
Physical a''ending is unders'ood 0y a num0er of skills rela'ed 'o a''ending. -' is 8or'h8hile 'o ge'
acquain'ed 8i'h such skills so as 'o 0e a0le 'o a''end 'o 'he clien' more func'ionally.
.. MODALITIES OF PH:SICAL ATTENDING
8+ DISTANCE
.*

=igh' dis'ance 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee is one of 'he componen's of physical
a''ending. Animals are kno8n 'o ha+e 'erri'ories< 8hich 'hey claim as 'heir o8n< and figh' 'oo'h and nail
8hen some o'her animals 'ransgress 'hem. A dog< ho8e+er small and 8eak i' is< 8ill 0e grea' and po8erful
e+en agains' a 0ig dog in i's o8n 'erri'ory. -'s 'erri'ory is clearly demarca'ed< and also ackno8ledged 0y 'he
o'her dogs. Take for e/ample '8o dogs 0elonging 'o '8o neigh0ours. &ach of 'he dogs 8ill ha+e i's o8n
'erri'ory and a no-manMs land 0e'8een 'heir 'erri'ories. -n i's o8n 'erri'ory 'he dog is ferocious 8hen
someone +iola'es i's righ'sK i' main'ains calm in 'he no-manMs landK and in 'he 'erri'ory of 'he o'her dog< i' is
+ery cringing realiAing 'ha' i' is no' 'he 0oss. -f you rear pigeons or if you 8a'ch 0irds 0uilding nes's< 8ha'
8ill mee' your eyes is 'he fierce 0a''le 'ha' 'akes place 0efore a couple of 0irds es'a0lish 'heir nes'ing
loca'ion and 'he imaginary 0oundary 'ha' surrounds 'he nes'. &+en fishes are credi'ed 8i'h 'erri'orial righ's.
"ike8ise< a human person 'oo has hisHher o8n 'erri'ory or Aone or space. Much research has 0een carried ou'
in 'he field of de'ermining 'he Aones of human indi+iduals.
71
-' has also 0een found 'ha' all humans ha+e
'heir 'erri'oriesK 'he dis'ance of 'he 0oundaries are influenced 0y cul'ure and en+ironmen'. The space a
person can claim as hisHher o8n in a cro8ded area is less< 8hereas one 8ho is 0rough' up in a 'hinly
popula'ed area 8ill ha+e more personal space. ?i'h 'his cau'ion le' us e/amine a s'andard Aone dis'ance for
a human person.
.+ =ONE DISTANCE %FIGURE /2+
Figure /2
=$ne Dis#nce
%8+ In#i&#e H$neD An indi+idual claims a cer'ain area as hisHher in'ima'e Aone< a space measuring
a0ou' 1. 'o ,1 cen'ime'res ;or 1 'o 12 inches.> This - call Mporcupine dis'anceM in 'he sense 'ha' a porcupine
8ill no' le' anyone normally 8i'hin a close range. ?hen someone approaches 'he close area< 'he animal
makes i's 'horns s'and on 'heir edges< 'hus pre+en'ing 'he s'ranger from coming close 'o i'. This is 8ha'
human 0eings do< and defend such an in'ima'e Aone. People 8ho are +ery close 'o you emo'ionally ;paren's<
children< lo+ers< and friends> are permi''ed 'o en'er in'o 'his in'ima'e Aone. -f you mee' your schoolma'e
af'er a long 'ime you Eus' go close 'o himHher 8i'hou' any formali'y< en'er in'o hisHher in'ima'e Aone< and
.,
e+en pu' your arm around himHher shoulders 8i'hou' your friend ge''ing angry or uncomfor'a0le a0ou' i'.
@ne en'ers 'he in'ima'e Aone of ano'her< ei'her 8i'h lo+e or 8i'h aggression.
%.+ Pers$nl =$neD This is 'he space 0e'8een ,1 cen'ime'res and 1.## me'ers ;or 12 and ,2 inches>.
-' is nei'her 'oo close nor 'oo dis'an'. ?hen 8e a''end par'ies like marriage< any o'her func'ion< or ga'hering
of social na'ure< and in our 8ork places< 8e main'ain 'his Aone. -' is 'he Aone 8here people 8i'h friendly
feelings are en'er'ained< and official 8orks are under'aken.
;*> S$cil =$neD -' is a space measuring 0e'8een 1.## and *.1 me'res ;or , and 1# fee'>. -' is 'he
cour'yard of 'he s'rangers. The people 8hom 8e do no' kno8 +ery 8ell< and a' 'he same 'ime 8e ha+e some
0usiness 'o do 8i'h 'hem like 8orkers 8ho come 'o our houses< are kep' a' 'his Aone. All 0usiness
'ransac'ions are carried ou' in 'his area.
;,> Pu"lic =$neD )inally 8e ha+e 'he pu0lic Aone ranging from *.1 me'res ;or 1# fee'>. ?hen you
address a ga'hering< you na'urally 'ake a posi'ion from 1# fee' on8ards. Thus 8e find 'ha' oneMs 'erri'ory is
0roken do8n in'o four dis'inc' ;0u' fluid> Aone dis'ances. According 'o 'he le+el of in'imacy and
acquain'ance< people remain close or far. $omeone mee'ing you au'oma'ically 'akes hisHher posi'ion in 'he
Aone indica'ed non+er0ally 0y you. A' 'imes aggressi+ely 'he s'ranger migh' en'er in'o a Aone or mis'akenly
en'er in'o a Aone you 8ould no' 8an' himHher 'o do. A young man 8as referred 'o me for counselling. As -
me' 'he man for 'he firs' 'ime< he came +ery close and 8ished me as 'hough he 8as a +ery in'ima'e friend of
mine. ?hile 'alking 'o him< - realiAed 'ha' he 8as under 'he influence of a drug< and 'ha' his social
sensi0ili'y 8hich goes 8i'h personal 'erri'ory 8as lacking. 7is in'rusion in'o my in'ima'e Aone 8as 0y
mis'ake since he 8as no' much a8are of 8ha' 8as happening 'o him.
7#
;.> C$unselling =$neD 4y e/perience 8e realiAe 'ha' a dis'ance 0e'8een #!ree #$ ($ur (ee# is normal
0e'8een a counsellor and a counsellee. Tha' means< in 'erms of Aones< 'he clien' 8ill 0e sea'ed 'o8ards 'he
end of your personal Aone. -f you si' closer 'han 'hree 'o four fee'< 'he implica'ions are: firs' of all you are
+ery in'ima'e 8i'h 'he clien'< or you are making se/ual ad+ances< or you are ge''ing ready 'o a''ack himHher
0y in'imida'ing himHher 0y your aggressi+e presence. -' is in'imida'ing 0ecause i' 8eakens 'he clien'Ms
'erri'orial defence. The reac'ion of 'he clien' 8hen you en'er in'o hisHher in'ima'e Aone< is in'eres'ing 'o no'e.
-f you are s'ill a s'ranger and en'er in'o hisHher in'ima'e Aone a num0er of physiological changes 'ake place
8i'hin himHher. The hear' 0ea' is fas'er< and since i' is considered as an emergency< adrenalin is poured in'o
'he 0loods'ream profusely< and 0lood is pumped 'o 'he 0rain and 'he muscles +igorously< making 'he clien'
ei'her 'o figh' or 'o flee. Tha' is 8hy 8hen a person aggressi+ely en'ers in'o ano'her personBs in'ima'e Aone
8i'h se/ual ad+ances< 'he person 8hose 'erri'ory is in+aded a''acks 'he in'ruder or a''emp's 'o flee from
himHher.
7*

1+ SQUARING
$quaring means facing 'he person s'raigh'. Jou si' in fron' of 'he clien' facing himHher. Turning
a8ay from 'he clien' 8ill 0e'ray your lack of in'eres' in himHher. )or ge''ing 'he mos' ou' of 'he clien' and 'o
assure himHher of your 'o'al presence< i' is required 'ha' you face 'he person. -f 'here are more 'han one
person< you can adEus' your posi'ion in such a 8ay 'ha' you are a0le 'o see all of 'hem equally 8ell. -f 'here
are more 'han 'hree< i' is 0e''er 'o form a circle. &+en in a circle< if one of 'he par'icipan's is 'alking 'o you<
you should incline your 0ody posi'ion 'o 'ha' par'icular person so 'ha'< 'o himHher and 'o e+ery one in 'he
group< i' is clear 'ha' you are physically a''ending 'o himHher. -' is 0e''er 'o a+oid maEor sea'ing changes in
'he mids' of counselling les' 'hey should dis'rac' 'he clien'.
!o' all 'he clien's are happy a0ou' your facing 'hem. - ha+e of'en o0ser+ed 8i'h some 'eenagers<
some 8omen if 'hey are 'alking 'o men counsellors< and some men 8hile 'alking 'o 8omen counsellors< and
some people ha+ing physical defec's on 'heir faces< un8illing 'o face 'he counsellor direc'ly. $ince 'he
purpose of squaring is 'o assure 'he clien' of your presence and in'eres' and 'o make himHher comfor'a0le< if
your squaring is 'hrea'ening 'o himHher i' is 0e''er 'o adop' an angled posi'ion. This 8ay of angling yourself
8ill lessen 'he degree of uneasiness in 'he clien'< 8hile assuring a' 'he same 'ime 'ha' you are 8i'h himHher.
7,
..
/+ SEATING ARRANGEMENTS %FIGURE ;0+
Figure ;0
Se#ing Arrnge&en#s
)irs' le' us consider 'he posi'ions 8here you and 'he clien's si'.
%8+ C$$'er#i@e P$si#i$nD %A75 $r C7D+
?hen you and 'he clien' are sea'ed on 'he same line side 0y side 0y a rec'angular 'a0le< 'his posi'ion
is called Ccoopera'i+e posi'ion.B 7ere 'he clien's usually coopera'e 8i'h 'he counsellor 0ecause 'hey are
nei'her confron'ed nor lef' ou' 0y 0eing sea'ed in 'his posi'ion.
%.+ C$rner '$si#i$n D %A7E+
Jou are sea'ed 0y 'he leng'h of a rec'angular 'a0le near a corner< and 'he clien' si's 0y your side 0y
'he side of 'he 0read'h< 8i'h a corner in 0e'8een 0o'h of you. This posi'ion is called Ccorner posi'ion.B This
posi'ion is main'ained for friendly and casual con+ersa'ions.
%1+ Inde'enden# '$si#i$nD %A7C $r 57D+
?hen you are sea'ed near a corner 0y 'he leng'h of a rec'angular 'a0le and 'he clien' si's on 'he
opposi'e< no' agains' you 0u' far remo+ed< 'hen i' is 'he independen' posi'ion. People 8ho are +ery much
'hrea'ened 'ake 'his posi'ion 'o 0e a' a safe dis'ance.
%/+ C$&'e#i#i@e7De(ensi@e P$si#i$nD %A7D $r 57C+
?hen you are sea'ed on one side< 'he clien' is sea'ed on 'he opposi'e side across 'he 'a0le. -' is a
+ery +ulnera0le posi'ion. $ome'imes secre'i+e< nega'i+e< and hos'ile officers arrange 'his posi'ion ;They pu'
'hose +isi'ing 'hem on 'he opposi'e side across 'he 'a0le>. 7o8e+er< 'his posi'ion as research has sho8n< is
also helpful< if you face 'he o'her direc'ly ;8hen 'here is no desk or 'a0le in 0e'8een>.
%;+ C$unselling P$si#i$n %Figure ;8+
.1
Figure ;8
P$si#i$n ($r C$unselling
)acing each o'her 8i'hou' any 'a0le or desk in 0e'8een< is ideal and i' is called a Fcl$sed ($r&#i$nM
since no 'hird par'y could in'er+ene 8i'hou' 'he '8o changing 'he posi'ion. -f you happen 'o si' 0y a 'a0le<
'he corner posi'ion 8ill 0e 'he one ne/' sui'a0le< 0ecause 'he clien' is close 'o you.
Af'er considering 'he posi'ion< 8e no8 'urn 'o 'he 'ypes of sea'ing pro+ided. The heigh' of 'he 0ack
of 'he chair indica'es oneMs po8er and s'a'us in 'he socie'y or in a gi+en si'ua'ion. The higher 'he 0ack of 'he
chair< 'he grea'er is your s'a'us. Tha' is 8hy people in high posi'ion are placed on high-0acked chairs. -f
your chair is higher 'han 'ha' of 'he o'her< i' means you are superior 'o 'he o'her. $8i+el chairs are
considered 'o 0e 0elonging 'o a superior s'a'us< and chairs 8i'h arms are superior 'o chairs 8i'hou' arms. )or
counselling< a comfor'a0le chair for you and 'he clien' is appropria'e. -f i' is an easy chair< i' may no' 0e
conduci+e for 'he 'ype of 8ork 'ha' is under'aken. The heigh's of 'he chairs should 0e scrupulously kep'
equal< and if 0y chance yours is raised a0o+e 'he o'her personMs chair< 'hen you 8ill 0e unders'ood as
domina'ing.
7.
;+ E:EING
Main'aining a fairly s'eady eye con'ac' 8i'h 'he clien' is called eyeing. Jour quali'y of a''ending can
0e Eudged from 'he 8ay you keep 'he eye con'ac' 8i'h 'he clien'. -' is no' 'he same as s'aring. The s'eady
eye con'ac' 8hich a counsellor main'ains in counselling is usually marked 0y frequen' 0linking of 'he eye
lids ;siC #$ eig!# "linBs 'er &inu#e>< 8hereas in a s'are 'he frequency of 0linking is far 0e'8een and i' is
almos' keeping your eyes on 'he eyes of 'he o'her and keeping 'hem locked 'here for a longer 'ime. ?e kno8
'he lo+erMs gaAe 8hich is a kind of s'are. This kind of s'are may no' 0e helpful in a counselling si'ua'ion.
Counselling is no' da'ing< and so s'aring is un8elcome. $ome counsellors may ha+e 'he compulsion 'o res'
'heir eyes on 'he physical defec's of 'he clien's. There are o'her counsellors 8ho res' 'heir eyes on 'he 0eau'y
spo's or a''rac'i+e fea'ures of 'he clien's. All 'hese ac'i+i'ies 8ill only say aloud 'ha' your in'eres' is no' in
'he clien' himHherself< 0u' in your o8n enEoymen' of hisHher a''rac'i+eness. As 8i'h 'he squaring so also 8i'h
'he eying< 8e ha+e clien's 8ho are 'hrea'ened 0y 'he normal look. -f you kno8 'ha' a clien' is uncomfor'a0le
8i'h your looking< 'hen you could look do8n< and once in a 8ay keep looking a' 'he clien'. !o' 'o look a'
'he clien' a' all 0ecause heHshe is uncomfor'a0le 8ill no' in 'he long run ser+e 'he purpose of elici'ing 'he
appropria'e response from 'he clien'.
E:EING IN SPEAKING AND LISTENING
&yeing can 0e analysed from '8o angles: ?hile you are speaking and 8hile you are lis'ening.
=esearch has sho8n 'ha' people main'ain more eye con'ac' 8hile lis'ening 'han 8hile speaking. This in
general 8ill indica'e 'ha' 'he speaker is s'eady on 'he 'heme heHshe presen's< 'he e/plana'ion heHshe gi+es and
'he argumen's heHshe adduces< and i' could 0e a signal 'o 8ard off dis'rac'ion and in'errup'ion. Af'er 'he
'alking 8hen one looks a' 'he lis'ener< i' is a signal 'ha' heHshe has comple'ed 8ha' heHshe 8an'ed 'o say< and
'he o'her is gi+en 'he permission 'o 'alk. This 0eing 'he general rule< in indi+idual cases< a cer'ain pa''ern is
percei+ed. "e' us see 8ha' 'he pa''ern is.
?hen you speak if you keep looking a' 'he person fairly of'en< i' means 'ha' you are cer'ain of 8ha'
you are saying< and if you look a8ay you may 0e saying 'ha' you are no' sure a0ou' 8ha' you are saying.
?hile lis'ening< if you keep s'eady eye con'ac'< you are non+er0ally saying 'ha' you are 8i'h 'he speaker and
are in'eres'ed in 8ha' heHshe says< and con+ersely looking a8ay 8hile lis'ening 8ill mean 'ha' you are no'
.7
comple'ely sa'isfied 8i'h 8ha' 'he speaker says and so you are ha+ing cer'ain reser+a'ionsK i' could also
mean 'ha' you 8an' 'o conceal your real feeling from 'he speaker< especially if 'he speaker is a cri'ical and
e+alua'i+e 'ype. A+oiding eye con'ac' may unin'en'ionally communica'e dou0's< possi0le pre+arica'ion and
concealmen'.
FREQUENC: OF E:EING
The frequency of 'he gaAe is cul'urally coloured. -' has 0een found 'ha' people of differen'
na'ionali'ies may ha+e a cer'ain +aria'ion in 'he frequency of 'he gaAe. 4esides< in general if a personMs gaAe
mee's your eyes less 'han '8o-'hirds of 'he 'ime of 'he con+ersa'ion i' may 0e an indica'ion of dishones'y or
8i'hholding of some informa'ion. &yes 0e'ray our emo'ions. ?hen one is pleased 8i'h ano'her< hisHher
pupils 8ill dila'eK 8hile in displeasure< 'he pupils con'rac'. ?hen lo+ers in'en'ly look a' 'he eyes of each
o'her< 8ha' 'hey may 0e looking for is 'he dila'ion of 'he eyes 8hich 8ill 0e a sure 'ell'ale sign of 'he o'her
personMs liking for you. -f a person looks a' you more 'han '8o-'hirds of 'he 'ime of 'he con+ersa'ion 8i'h
dila'ed pupils 'hen heHshe is in'eres'ed in you and in 8ha' you sayK in con'ras' 8hen heHshe looks a' you less
'han one-'hird of 'he 'ime 8i'h cons'ric'ed pupils< 'hen heHshe is hos'ile 'o you or dishones' 8i'h you. -f you
use dark 'in'ed glasses in con+ersa'ion< you are ei'her s'aring 'he o'her person 8i'h in'eres' or 8i'h hos'ili'y<
or you do no' 8an' 'ha' 'he o'her person 'o kno8 8ha' you are feeling< since 'he pupils 8ill 0e'ray your
emo'ions. Jou also may 0e gree'ed 0y some side8ays glance. -' 'oo deno'es ei'her in'eres' or hos'ili'y.
$ide8ays glances are used in cour'ship and in se/ual in+i'a'ion< and if i' is coupled 8i'h do8n-'urned
eye0ro8s i' 8ill communica'e suspicion and hos'ile a''i'ude.
E:E 5LOCKING
There is a phenomenon called eye 0locking. -f you are looking a' a clien' and 0link 'he eyes and
keep 'he lids closing 'he eyes longer 'han 'he usual ra'e of si/ 'o eigh' 0links per minu'e< 'hen you are using
an eye 0lock ges'ure. -' could 0e also percei+ed in half-closed eyes 8i'h 'he 'il'ed head and looking do8n a'
'he clien'. The simple eye-0lock ges'ure 8ill communica'e 'ha' you are no' in'eres'ed in 'he clien' and if i' is
coupled 8i'h o'her nega'i+e ges'ures like head 'il'ed 0ack8ards 'hen you are saying non+er0ally 'ha' you are
superior 'o 'he o'her as 'hough looking do8n upon himHher. )rom 'he foregoing pages i' 0ecomes amply
clear 'ha' 'he use of our eyes is a +i'al non+er0al signal< and appropria'e gaAe 0eha+iours are necessary for
counselling in'er+ie8s.
KINDS OF E:EING
&yeing can 0e of 'hree kinds ;1> 5usiness E*eing< ;#> S$cil E*eing< and ;*> In#i&#e E*eing. -n
0usiness eyeing you look a' your par'nerMs eyes and 'he cen're of hisHher forehead< forming a 'riangle 8i'h 'he
'8o eyes and 'he cen're of 'he forehead. -n any case< your gaAe should no' 0e lo8ered 0elo8 'he eyes of
your par'ner. -n main'aining 'his 'ype of 0usiness eyeing< you keep 'he si'ua'ion under con'rol. -n social
eyeing again< your look is direc'ed 'o8ards a 'riangle< 0u' 'his 'ime 'he 'riangle is upside do8n< 'ha' is< you
look a' 'he eyes and 'he mou'h of your par'ner< in 8hich case you ge' a 'riangle 8i'h '8o eyes and one
mou'h. This is 'he 'ype of gaAe 8e engage in 8hile con+ersing 8i'h our friends< rela'i+es< acquain'ances and
kno8n persons in ga'herings and o'her social si'ua'ions. -n in'ima'e eyeing< you form an upside do8n
'riangle 8hich is long. Jou look a' 'he eyes of 'he o'her in 'he eyes and 'hen 0elo8 ches'< and if you are
looking from a dis'ance< do8n 'o 'he cro'ch. This 'ype of gaAing communica'es your in'eres' in 'he o'her for
in'imacy and se/. -n counselling i' may no' 0e appropria'e 'o make use of in'ima'e gaAe. To oscilla'e
0e'8een 0usiness gaAe and social gaAe 8ould 0e helpful< main'aining mainly 'he social gaAe.
71
-+ OPEN POSTURE
-f you yourself are closed< 'hen you canno' e/pec' your clien' 'o 0e open. 4esides< your closed
pos'ures 8ill 'rigger off some'hing nega'i+e in 'he clien' 'ha' heHshe 8ill au'oma'ically de+elop closed
pos'ure and 'here0y closed a''i'ude 8hich 8ill Eeopardise 'he counselling process. )or e/ample< if you si'
8i'h your arms and legs crossed and your hands held fis' like< 'hese ges'ures communica'e your closedness.
!o' 'ha' you canno' cross 'he legs or arms once in a 8ay during 'he con+ersa'ion< 0u' 'o 0e locked like 'ha'
.2
mos' of 'he 'ime 8ill 0e indica'i+e of a closed pos'ure. 7ence you realiAe 'he impor'ance of posi'ioning of
your en'ire 0ody in 'he counselling session 'ha' 8ill indica'e your openness.
77
<+ LEANING FOR9ARD
?hen deli+ering a lec'ure if you no'ice one of your audience is leaning 0ack on hisHher chair 8i'h
hisHher head flung far 0ack< hisHher legs e/'ended in fron' and hisHher arms crossed on hisHher ches'< i' is a
clear indica'ion of hisHher no' 0eing in'eres'ed in your 'alk or hisHher 0ecoming 0ored 8i'h i'. -' can also
mean 'ha' 'he person is physically +ery 'ired. @n 'he con'rary< 8hen one of your audience is leaning for8ard<
perhaps res'ing hisHher forearms on hisHher 'high and 'hrus'ing hisHher head 'o8ards you 8i'h 'il'ed head< i'
communica'es 'ha' heHshe is in'eres'ed in 8ha' you are saying. Therefore leaning for8ard is a sign of
in'eres'< and 'he clien's usually apprecia'e 'his ges'ure and non+er0ally 'hey are impelled 'o ge' in+ol+ed and
'alk more a0ou' 'hemsel+es 0ecause 'hey percei+e 'ha' 'he counsellor is all ou' 'o help 'hem. ?hene+er you
find '8o persons engaged in in'ima'e con+ersa'ion 'hey usually incline 'heir 0odies< 'ha' is 'he upper par's of
'heir 'runk< for8ard. ?hile si''ing< 'his can 0e done 8hen you 0end for8ard and make your forearms res' on
your 'highs< or 8hile you s'and you can go closer or s'and in such a 8ay 'ha' your righ' foo' is one s'ep ahead
of you. ?hen you are o+er-8orked or you are physically 'ired af'er lis'ening 'o 'he clien' for a 8hile< 'hen
you can mo+e 0ack for a 8hileK and mo+ing 0ack and for'h can 0e of con+enience 'o you as a counsellorK 0u'
in any case see 'ha' you are no' seen leaning 0ack mos' of 'he 'ime. -' is presumed 'ha' 8hen 8e lean 0ack
8e are in'eres'ed in oursel+es< our comfor' and con+enience< and 8hen 8e lean for8ard 8e are in'eres'ed in
'he o'her 8hom 8e are lis'ening 'o.
72
4+ REMAINING RELATI6EL: RELAGED
7a+e you e+er o0ser+ed in yourself or in o'hers 'ha' 8hen one of 'he persons engaged in
con+ersa'ion is ner+ous< 'he o'her 'oo 0ecomes 'he same e+en'uallyL !er+ousness is con'agiousO -f you are
facing someone 8ho is uncomfor'a0le 8i'h you< 'he ou'8ard manifes'a'ion of hisHher ner+ousness ;0y 8ay of
fidge'ing< ru00ing 8e' palms agains' a fa0ric and clearing 'he 'hroa'> promp's you unconsciously 'o 'ake 'o
displacemen' 0eha+iours.
?e 'ense up 8hen 8e a''end 'o some'hing. "ook a' a dog 'ha' looks up and 'urns 'he head 'o8ards
'he direc'ion of 'he noise and inclines 'he ears in a funnel like fashion 'o channel 'he noise in'o 'he inner ears.
The 8hole 0ody of 'he dog 0ecomes 'ense. -n 'he same 8ay 8hen our sense organs ge' ready 'o recei+e
s'imuli< 'he en'ire 0ody is 'ensed up 'o a considera0le e/'en'. -f you seriously s'udy a su0Eec'< you si' 8i'h
'ensed musclesK if you are reading some ligh' ma'erials like shor' s'ories< 'hen you are rela/ed. Therefore<
high concen'ra'ion requires 'ensing up of 'he muscles of 'he 0ody. $ince lis'ening< responding and e/ploring
along 8i'h 'he clien' is such a concen'ra'ed ac'i+i'y< your muscles are 0ound 'o 'ense up. 4u' 8hen 'he 0ody
muscles are 'ensed up 'oo much< i' 8orks agains' your efficiency. - ha+e o0ser+ed s'uden's in oral
e/amina'ions. &+en 'he cle+er s'uden's do no' ans8er properly 'hough 'hey kno8 'he ans8er 8ell Eus'
0ecause 'hey are +ery 'ense< and 'his can 0e made ou' on 'heir 0odies. $o< on 'he one hand no' 'ensing up of
'he muscles is an indica'ion of your non-in+ol+emen'< and on 'he o'her hand< your 'oo much of 'ensing up 'he
muscles is de'rimen'al 'o lis'ening 'o 'he clien' properly. Therefore< 'he +ia media 8ill 0e 0eing rela'i+ely
rela/ed. The principle of rela'i+e rela/a'ion applies 'o 'he clien' as 8ell. @ne of my professors ga+e us some
'ips 'o deal 8i'h clien's 8ho are 'oo 'ensed. -f 'he clien' is 'oo rela/ed< 'hen heHshe may no' 0e serious in
8orking ou' hisHher pro0lem< in 8hich case s'raigh' looking in'o hisHher eyes 8ill make himHher feel
uncomfor'a0le and heHshe 8ill s'ar' 0ecoming serious. Jour gaAe has a8akened himHher from hisHher
le'hargy. And 8hen heHshe is 'oo much 'ensed< look a8ay for a 8hile< and 'ha' 8ill make himHher feel a'
ease. The ideal si'ua'ion 8ill 0e 8hen 0o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee are rela'i+ely rela/ed.
73

2+ MIRRORING
-f you are a0road and happen 'o come across a person from your coun'ry or a person from your
cul'ure or language< 'hen irrespec'i+e of hisHher charac'er< a' 'he firs' sigh'< you 0egin 'o like 'he person for
'he simple reason 'ha' heHshe 0elongs 'o your na'ionali'y or in o'her 8ords heHshe is like you. There is an
.3
unconscious affini'y es'a0lished as soon as you mee' a person 8ho looks similar 'o you. The sameness in
'8o indi+iduals 0rings a0ou' a liking for each o'her. This concep' of similari'y can 0e fur'her e/ploi'ed for
'he 0enefi' of 'he clien's. This 8as done 0y gian's in psychological field like 5irginia $a'ir< )ri'A Perls and
Mil'on &rickson 8ho reflec'ed cer'ain 0eha+iour pa''erns of 'heir clien's. This 8as only 'o make 'he clien's
feel 'ha' 'hey are 8i'h someone 8ho unders'ands 'hem and 8ho is like 'hem. To feel a' home 8i'h a
counsellor and also 'o feel unders'ood< a cer'ain rappor' has 'o 0e es'a0lished. This can 0e achie+ed 0y 'he
counsellor 'hrough reflec'ing 'he 0eha+iour pa''erns of 'he clien's. The reflec'ing of 'he 0eha+iour pa''erns
of ano'her in a su0'le 8ay is called Cmirroring<B Eus' like a mirror reflec's 8ha'e+er ac'ion you do in fron' of
i'. This mirroring is o'her8ise called Cpacing.B -f you copy or mirror 'he 0eha+iour of a person< i'
communica'es 'ha' you are in agreemen' 8i'h 'ha' person. @nce agreemen' is es'a0lished< 8hich is in i'self a
kind of rappor'< 'hen 'he o'her 8ill no' resis' 'o 8ha' you are saying. -f you pace a person< i' is firs' of all 'o
es'a0lish a good rappor'< and 'hen la'er 'o lead 'he person. Pacing is follo8ed 0y leading. - shall 0e speaking
a0ou' pacing and leading a' a la'er s'age< 0u' a' presen' - 8ould like 'o underscore 'he idea of 0ody mirroring
and +ocal mirroring. Mirroring or pacing can 0e done a' 'hree le+els: )irs' of all< i' can 0e a' 'he 0ody le+el
or physical le+el. Then i' can 0e a' 'he +ocal le+elK and 'he 'hird le+el is 8i'h 8ords. :us' like 8e ha+e 'hree
mediums of communica'ion like +er0al< +ocal< and physical< in mirroring 'oo 8e ha+e 'hese 'hree mediums
of reflec'ing 'he 0eha+iour. 7ere - 8ould like 'o underscore 'he idea of +ocal and physical mirroring< lea+ing
'he +er0al mirroring or pacing and leading 'o a la'er s'age.
The +ocal and 'he physical pacing is done for 'he sake of es'a0lishing a rappor'. 5ocal mirroring 8ill
0e like imi'a'ing 'he 'empo< +olume< pi'ch< rhy'hm< and accen' of 'he language of 'he clien'. Physical
mirroring 8ill 0e 8hen - adop' 'he 0ody pos'ure< ges'ures< 0rea'hing loca'ion< 0rea'hing ra'e and 0linking of
'he eyes. Again mirroring can 0e ei'her direc' or crosso+er. Direc' mirroring is reflec'ing 'he +ocal and
physical 0eha+iours of 'he clien' e/ac'ly 0y 'he same medium of ei'her +ocal or physical. )or e/ample< if -
am imi'a'ing 'he head pos'ure of a clien'< - 8ould keep my head 'he 8ay heHshe holds i'. A crosso+er
mirroring is done 8hen - 'ap 'he 'a0le in accordance 8i'h 'he 0rea'hing ra'e of 'he clien'. The 0rea'hing ra'e
is imi'a'ed no' direc'ly 0rea'hing in 'he same 8ay< 0u' 0y 'apping 'he 'a0le. -n 'he 0eginning of 'he
counselling sessions< counsellors make use of 'he mirroring 'echniques 'o es'a0lish a reasona0ly good
rappor'.
26
80+ ENCOURAGEMENTS TO TALK
Jou 'alk 'o a person and 'he o'her person a''ends 'o you in such a 8ay 'ha' you feel like con'inuing
your 'alk and re+ealing more a0ou' yourselfK 'here are also persons 'o 8hom 8hile 'alking you feel you
canno' proceed fur'her. ?hen 8e analyse 8ha' happens 0e'8een 'he '8o indi+iduals< 8e find 'ha' if a person
encourages 'he speaker in one 8ay or o'her< 'hen 'he speaker is pleased 'o speak more. These may 0e done in
minor 8ays like nodding 'he head< leaning for8ard qui'e of'en< mo+ing a 0i' closer 8hen 'he clien' is saying
some'hing +ery impor'an' 'o you< saying Mumhum<M repea'ing one or '8o significan' 8ords of 'he clien'< and
repea'ing 'he las' 8ords of 'he clien'. These li''le 'echniques go a long 8ay in es'a0lishing a good rappor'
and making 'he clien' feel unders'ood and 8an'ed.
These encouragemen's 'o 'alk are 'ermed 0y =ichard !elson-:ones as Cc$n#inu#i$n &essges<B
8hich are more 0odily 'han +er0al. The 0odily con'inua'ion messages include 8ha' 8e ha+e so far seen in
mirroring< plus responsi+e facial e/pressions< good eye con'ac'< and 0ody orien'a'ion. The +er0al
con'inua'ion messages include 8ords like M Tell me moreM< M=eallyM< M 9o on M< M ThenM< M - seeM and M$o.M These
messages 0ecome essen'ial for 'he con'inua'ion of a narra'ion. Jou could 'es' i' 0y 'elling a s'ory 'o
someone. -f 'he person lis'ening 'o you does no' gi+e any con'inua'ion messages< 'hen you are frus'ra'ed and
8ould s'op 'elling 'he s'ory. -' is required all 'he more 8hile lis'ening 'o 'he clien's.
21
1. INITIAL SILENCE
$ilence is an enriching e/perience. -' is in silence 'ha' grea' insigh's are gained. 4o'h 'he
counsellors and 'he counselees can u'iliAe silence for 'he op'imum ou'come. )or 8ha'e+er reason silence
does occur< 'he counsellor should 0e prepared 'o deal 8i'h i'. -' is likely 'ha' silence opens 'he +ery session.
16
Af'er your ini'ial formali'ies and in+i'a'ion 'o 'alk< 'he clien' migh' si' quie'. As - ha+e already remarked< 'he
counsellor could in+i'e 'he person 'o say 8ha'e+er comes 'o hisHher mind< or could say 'ha' heHshe is 'hinking
of some'hing< or heHshe is finding i' hard 'o speak or some'hing is going on in himHher. Check if 'he clien' is
in need of some'hing< or needs some more 'ime 'o s'ar' or 8an's 'o ha+e 'he session a' ano'her 'ime. Af'er all
'hese< if 'he clien' keeps silen'< 'hen 0e''er respec' 'he silence.
,. SILENCE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SESSION
-n silence< +alua0le insigh's are a''ained 0o'h 0y 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. -' offers room for
'he clien' 'o look in'o himHherself and e/plore hisHher pro0lem deeper< gain ne8 insigh' in'o 'he dynamics of
hisHher 0eha+iour< and 'o see a changed perspec'i+e of 'he pro0lema'ic si'ua'ion. )or 'he counsellor< i' is a
'ime 'o unders'and 'he clien' 0e''er< and see 'he possi0le s'ep heHshe could 'ake 8i'h regard 'o 'he pro0lem
'ha' is presen'ed. $ilence can 0e righ' a' 'he 0eginning of 'he in'er+ie8< or in 'he middle of 'he in'er+ie8. -
ha+e already spoken a0ou' 'he silence you migh' encoun'er a' 'he 0eginning of an in'er+ie8. !o8 le' us
consider silence in 'he middle of 'he counselling session. A' 'his 'ime< silence can occur due 'o +arious
reasons. -n any case< see 'ha' you ha+e responded 'o 'he pre+ious s'a'emen' of 'he clien'< for heHshe migh' 0e
8ai'ing for you 'o respond 'o himHher. -f you had responded 'o hisHher pre+ious s'a'emen'< 'hen 'ake 'his
golden oppor'uni'y 'o summariAe and presen' in a nea' and orderly 8ay 8ha' you 0o'h ha+e so far deal' 8i'h<
and 'his migh' form a s'imulus s'a'emen' 'o 'he clien'. Jou could also make s'a'emen's like CJou are
'hinking of some'hingM or C$ome'hing is going on 8i'hin you.B &+en af'er 'his< should silence con'inue< you
could perhaps raise a ques'ion or make a pro0e. Af'er all 'his should silence persis'< 'hen respec' 'he clien'<
'elling himHher 'ha' 8hen heHshe is ready< counselling can 0e resumed< and 'ha' for 'he 'ime 0eing< 'he session
is o+er.
$ilence can 0e due 'o +arious reasons. May 0e 'ha' you ha+e a clien' 8ho is usually +ery re'icen' and
so heHshe finds i' difficul' 'o 'alk 'o you. Ano'her reason for hisHher silence could 0e 'ha' heHshe is s'ruggling
'o ge' a' 'he roo' of hisHher pro0lem. @r< heHshe is 'rying 'o pull hisHher 'hough's and feelings 'oge'her 0efore
e/ploring fur'her. -' is also possi0le 'ha' heHshe has reached 'he end of a 'heme. A' 'imes i' could 0e a sign
of preparing 'o re+eal fur'her.
@nce - me' a girl aged 13K she 8as highly dis'ur0ed. A' 'he 0eginning of her pu0er'y< she had
8i'nessed her paren's ha+ing in'ercourse a num0er of 'imesK 'he paren's 'hough' 'ha' she did no' kno8 i'.
?ha' she had 8i'nessed flooded her mind< and she 8as una0le 'o concen'ra'e on any'hing. As she came< she
opened 'he 'opic and 8en' on 'o e/plain ho8 she 8as affec'ed 0y 'hose images coming qui'e of'en. $he
8ould hardly s'ar' a sen'ence 'o e/plain< 'hen s'op dead and remain shy. -' 8as +ery e+iden' 'ha' she fel' 'he
8hole 'hing 'oo delica'e 'o disclose 'o a s'ranger 'ha' - 8as. Then some'hing s'ruck me< and - 'old her 'ha'
she need no' 'ell 'his par'icular pro0lem 'o me a' all and 8e could deal 8i'h o'her issues if 'here 8ere any.
-mmedia'ely came 'he reply M- 8an' 'o 'ell 'he 8hole 'hing since 'his 'rou0les me.M 7ere 8ha' - realiAed is 'ha'
8hen you gi+e 'he freedom 'o e/press< 'he clien' usually 'alks< and if you compel 'he clien' 'o 'alk 'hen
heHshe is likely 'o close up.
$ilence can 0e a me'hod of manipula'ion 0y 8ay of playing 'he game of Ccoa/ me.B According 'o Dr.
&ric 4erne< 'his game is played 0y people in 'he persecu'orMs role 'o pu' o'hers do8n. The counsellee migh'
unconsciously play 'his game. -f you are caugh' up in 'his game< you usually reques' 'he clien' 'o speak and
heHshe 8ill remain silen'K 'hen you plead all 'he moreK 'he clien' 0ecomes all 'he more silen'< and 'hus finally
you ge' fed up 8i'h reques's and end 'he con+ersa'ion feeling so 0ad a0ou' e+ery'hing. -f you realiAe 'ha'
silence is a game pa''ern< 'hen gi+ing himHher 'he freedom 'o e/press 8ill spoil 'he game righ' a' 'he +ery
s'ar'< and 'he person 8ill s'ar' e/pressing 0reaking hisHher silence. Also keep your eyes 8ide open 'o o0ser+e
non+er0al 0eha+iours during silence. The non+er0al 0eha+iours 8ill 0e'ray more or less 8hy a clien' keeps
mum a' a par'icular s'age. 7a+ing unders'ood 'he reason for 'he silence< you could 'ake 'he appropria'e
measures 'o o+ercome 'his hurdle. -f one me'hod does no' 8ork< 'ry ano'her< and 0y 'rying +arious me'hods
you are likely 'o succeed.
2#
11
/
%IN6OL6ING AND EGPRESSING+
The counsellor 'ook 'he ini'ia'i+e 'o a''end 'o 'he clien'. A''ending is like gi+ing an in+i'a'ion. -f
you recei+e an in+i'a'ion you are 0ound 'o ans8er saying ei'her you are a''ending or no' a''ending 'he
func'ion. -n+ol+ing is 'he reac'ion you elici' from 'he clien' 0y a''ending 'o himHher. 4u' for 'he a''ending<
in+ol+ing 8ould no' 'ake place. 4eing in+ol+ed is ge''ing in'eres'ed 'o 8ork ou' hisHher pro0lem< 'aking 'he
courage 'o look in'o hisHher si'ua'ion< and 8an'ing 'o 'ake 'he appropria'e s'eps. The clien' is se' for 8ork<
and no8 heHshe needs 'o do a num0er of 'hings. 7isHher in+ol+ing 8ill 0e seen from 'he 8ay heHshe engages
himHherself in cer'ain ac'i+i'ies 'ha' 8e 8ill see immedia'ely. 7ere 8e are speaking of clien's 8ho ha+e shed
'heir reluc'ance or resis'ance< and are se' 'o 8ork.
8. EGPRESSING
-f 'he clien' is in+ol+ed< heHshe s'ar's e/pressing hisHher concerns. "e' 'he clien' 'ell 'he s'ory.
7eHshe needs 'o 'ell 'he s'ory fully. 7alf-'ru'hs 8ill no' help 'he counsellor 'o unders'and 'he en'ire con'e/'.
@nce in my pas'oral minis'ry< a young man 8as sen' 'o me for counselling. The young man had de+eloped
psychia'ric symp'oms. There 8as no0ody in his family 8i'h such his'oriesK nor had he any 0rain inEury<
epilepsy and 'he like. Then - enquired a0ou' any ha0i' of his like 'aking drugs or alcohol. 7e fla'ly refused.
Any8ay - managed 'o send him 'o a psychia'ris' 8ho repor'ed 'o me 'ha' 'he young man 8as a ha0i'ual user
of drugs. -' 8as a case of drug-induced psychosis. ?hen a +i'al informa'ion is hidden from 'he counsellor
'he diagnosis of 'he real pro0lem is no' possi0le. The young man 8ho came 'o me did no' ha+e any of 'he
'hings - asked a0ou'K so - concluded 'ha' he 8as suffering from func'ional psychosis< 8hich 8as no' 'rue
since his condi'ion 8as drug induced. 7ence 'elling 'he 8hole s'ory and 'he real s'ory is impor'an' for an
assessmen' 0y 'he counsellor.
.. LE6ELS OF EGPRESSING
&/pressions could 0e a' fi+e differen' le+els.
8+ RITUAL
The lo8er le+el of self-disclosure is ri'ual e/pression like gree'ing a person< or enquiring a0ou' some
neu'ral su0Eec's< 8hich do no' 'ouch 'he personali'y of 'he speaker.
.+ REPORT
A le+el higher 'han ri'ual e/pression is 'he e/pression of fac's. -f you speak a0ou' his'ory< e+en's
'ha' ha+e 'aken place< you are a' 'he second le+el of e/pressing.
1+ 3UDGEMENT
The 'hird le+el 8ill 0e 'o gi+e your Eudgemen' a0ou' a fac'< 'hus also re+ealing your a''i'ude and
men'al affilia'ion. 7ere you s'ar' 'o re+eal a0ou' yourself.
/+ FEELING
1#
The four'h le+el is 'o speak a0ou' your feelings. )eelings are +ery unique 'o e+ery indi+idual. 4y
feelings 8e unders'and a person 0e''er 'han 0y hisHher sharing. This is one of 'he high le+els of re+ealing
a0ou' oursel+es.
;+ GUT LE6EL
The fif'h le+el is 'o re+eal yourself 8i'hou' any reser+e< 8hich one may achie+e only 8i'h a +ery fe8
indi+iduals. 7ere 8e share e+ery'hing a0ou' oursel+es. This does no' happen 8i'h e+ery indi+idual. This
gu' le+el communica'ion does no' e/clude oneBs pri+acy and secrecy. =igh' 'o oneBs pri+acy and secrecy is
an inaliena0le aspec' of our personhood. All 'he same re+ealing a' 'his le+el is 'he highes' 8e can achie+e in
our in'erpersonal rela'ionships. @f course< i' could 0e risky. 4u' e+ery in'erpersonal rela'ionship is risky.
1. T:PES OF PRO5LEM SITUATION
Counselling psychologis's are of 'he opinion 'ha' 'he clien's speak a0ou' 'heir pro0lems in 'hree
8ays.
8+ EGPERIENCE
Clien's may e/press 8ha' has happened 'o 'hem< 'ha' is< 'heir e/perience. DurairaE 8ho is a field
officer in a company says: C- am sen' ou' 'oo of'en< and - am una0le 'o 0e presen' for mos' of 'he family
func'ions.B Tha' DurairaE is 0eing sen' ou' is 8ha' happens 'o him.
.+ AFFECT
Clien's could speak a0ou' 'heir affec's. MAffec'M refers 'o counselleeMs feeling and emo'ion< 8hich
accompany hisHher e/perience or 0eha+iour. $heela says: C- am angry 8i'h my hus0and for coming 'oo la'e.B
1+ 5EHA6IOUR
Clien's may e/press 8ha' 'hey are doing or no' doing< 'ha' is< in 'erms of 'heir 0eha+iour. !ee'a is
8orking in a s'ore and she complains: C- ans8er 0ack my 0oss 8hene+er he poin's ou' my mis'akes.B This is
a 0eha+iour 8hich she does. 7er ano'her pro0lem is: CMy old paren's are eking ou' 'heir e/is'enceK e+en
'hough - am ma'erially 8ell off< - do no' lend a rupee 'o 'hem.B 7ere she e/plains 8ha' she fails 'o do.

-' has also 0een found 'ha' clien's 8illingly 'alk a0ou' 8ha' happened 'o 'hem< less a0ou' 'heir
feelings< and much less a0ou' 'heir 0eha+iours. &/pressing 'he concern in 'erms of e/perience< feelings< and
0eha+iour is 'o 0e aimed a' for unders'anding 'he dynamics of 'he pro0lem 'he clien' is facing. @'her8ise<
you may 0e lacking in clari'y 'o pinpoin' 'he pro0lem and 'ake 'he necessary s'eps.
There are also clien's 8ho 'alk in a non-s'op fashion and 0ring ou' a lo' of ma'erial< 8hich are no'
ac'ually rela'ed 'o 'he pro0lem. @f'en clien'-ram0ling is a 0lock 'o clari'y. The clearer 'heir e/pression< 'he
0e''er disposed are 'hey 'o8ards healing. The counsellors 8ho help 'heir clien's e/press clearly achie+e
grea'er success 'han 'he ones 8ho allo8 'heir clien's 'o 8ander a0ou'.
/. LISTENING
The counsellor lis'ens 'o 8ha' 'he clien' says. Accura'e lis'ening is required so 'ha' 'he message of
'he clien' may no' 0e missed. @ne of 'he 'hings poorly done 0y people is lis'ening. This can 0e
demons'ra'ed 0y asking '8o +olun'eers among 8hom one narra'es an inciden' and 'he o'her lis'ens and
repor's 'he narra'ion heHshe heard. -n mos' ins'ances< 'he lis'ener repor's lea+ing ou' cer'ain fac's< or heHshe
1*
in'erpre's and includes ma'erials 'ha' 8ere no' narra'ed. "is'ening is 0eing a''uned 'o recei+e a message. -'
is no' mere hearing. ?e hear a lo' of noises< 0u' 8e do no' lis'en 'o all of 'hem. "is'ening is differen'ia'ed
from hearing 0y 'he fac' 'ha' in lis'ening 8e unders'and 'he meaning of 'he sound. -f you are no' looking for
'he meaning< 'hen i' is only hearing. Properly speaking< lis'ening implies 'he capaci'y 'o hear 'he sounds<
unders'and 'heir meaning and remem0er 'hem accura'ely. This hearing< unders'anding 'he meaning< and
remem0ering i'< requires a cer'ain amoun' of discipline. Therefore< lis'ening can 0e 'ermed as disci'lined
!ering.
8+ KINDS OF LISTENING
Counselling psychologis's ha+e analysed 'he +arious le+els of lis'ening in 'erms of i's
appropria'eness in a counselling con'e/'.
%8+ FAKE LISTENING
4e''y is a counsellor 'rainee 8ho has learned 'he skills of physical a''ending. 7er physical a''ending
8as Eudged 'o 0e a' i's ma/imum 0y 'he peer counsellors. 4u' 4e''y has 'he ha0i' of s8i'ching herself off
8hen she lis'ens 'o 'he counsellee. ?hen responding 'o 'he counsellee< 4e''y s'um0les and is no' a0le 'o
recall 8ha' she heard from 'he clien'. 4u' her con'inua'ion messages like M- unders'andM and M Tha' is really
in'eres'ingM 8ere real s'imuli for 'he clien' 'o go on 'alking. 7ere 'he counsellor 8as faking good lis'ening<
especially main'aining cer'ain non+er0al 0eha+iours and 'he counsellee 8as duped in'o 'hinking 'ha' 4e''y
lis'ened 'o her +ery 8ell. This is a case of faking 'o lis'en. This is one of 'he poores' ser+ices you can do 'o
'he clien'.
%.+ PARTIAL LISTENING
Dass is a good lis'ener and a good counsellor as 8ell. The counselling s'ar'ed in earnes'< and
mean8hile Dass 8as surprised 'o find himself doAing e+ery no8 and 'hen. The need of 'he clien' 8as such
'ha' she con'inued 'alking irrespec'i+e of 'he counsellorMs doAing. Dass could no' help 'he lady 0ecause he
had no' fully heard 'he core messages of 'he clien'. -' is a case of par'ial lis'ening. Fnless 'he en'ire episode
8i'h i's meaning and con'e/' is unders'ood< no good counselling can 'ake place.
%1+ SELECTI6E LISTENING
Cyn'hia is a 8ell-e/perienced counsellor 8orking in a college. Fsually 'he s'uden's ha+e a lo' of
'hings 'o 'alk< 'hings connec'ed 8i'h 'heir pro0lems and 'hings 'ha' do no' per'ain 'o 'heir pro0lems.
Tac'fully< Cyn'hia lis'ens 'o 'he s'uden's and selec's only 'he 'alking 'ha' is rele+an' 'o 'he pro0lem in hand<
and lea+es ou' all craAy 'alk. This is a case of selec'i+e lis'ening< and in 'his ins'ance +ery useful for 'he
counselling process. )or< lis'ening 'o all 'he craAy 'alk and 'he clien'Bs ram0ling is a 8as'e of 'ime. 4u' if 'he
counsellors prede'ermine early 8ha' 'o lis'en and 8ha' 'o lea+e ou'< 'hey migh' lea+e ou' impor'an' messages
on accoun' of 'he selec'ion< 'hen i' is a disser+ice 'o 'he clien'. $elec'i+e lis'ening may lea+e ou'< 0y chance<
messages 'ha' are +i'al 'o 'he counselling process.
%/+ PRO3ECTI6E LISTENING
There is a s'ory 'old of a family in a farm house. To8ards la'e in 'he e+ening 'here 8as a man
calling ou' some'hing on 'he lane near0y. Fsually +endors call ou' 'he 'hings 'hey sell 'hrough 'he s'ree's.
The fa'her of 'he family asked his young daugh'er 'o go and lis'en 'o 8ha' 'he man 8as selling. $he 8en'
and re'urned +ery shy. The fa'her asked her 8ha' did 'he man call ou'. $he 8as no' 8illing 'o 'ell. 7o8e+er<
'he fa'her insis'ed 'ha' she 'ells him. ?i'h much reluc'ance she said 'ha' 'he man 8as asking if 'here are
maidens 'o 0e married. The fa'her 8as surprised and so he sen' his 8ife 'o lis'en. $he 8en' ou'< lis'ened<
and came 0ack 'o 'ell 'ha' 'he man 8as selling 0raAen po's. The fa'her 8as no' sa'isfied. 7e sen' his son 'o
lis'en and repor'. The son 8en' and came 'o 'ell 'ha' 'he man 8as selling ploughshares. The fa'her could no'
0elie+e any of 'hese. 7e said 'ha' he 8ould go and hear for himself. The old man 8en' ou'< lis'ened and
1,
came 0ack 'rem0ling all o+er. The o'her mem0ers of 'he family asked him 8ha' did he hear. 7e said 'ha' 'he
man 8as an under'aker and he 8an's 'o kno8 if any0ody is deadO 7ere each one lis'ened 'o 8ha' 8as in
hisHher mind< perhaps< 'heir o8n needs or fear. The young girl 8as 8ai'ing 'o 0e marriedK 'he mo'her 8an'ed
a 0raAen po'K 'he young man 8an'ed a ploughshare 'o 'ill 'he landK and 'he old man 8as afraid of his o8n
dea'hO This s'ory illus'ra'es ho8 8e may lis'en 'o 'hings 8e 8an' or are in'eres'ed in< and no' in 8ha' 8as
0eing saidO
%;+ FILTERED LISTENING
5iEay is a 8ell-educa'ed man. 7e has acquain'ance 8i'h +arious 'heories of personali'y and has a
8ide psychological 0ackground. ?hen !ancy came for counselling< he could perfec'ly analyse her charac'er
and descri0e 8ha' 'ype of pro0lem she suffered from< and 8ha' 'he immedia'e and remo'e causes 8ere. 4u'
!ancy 8as no' in 'he leas' sa'isfied< for she fel' 'ha' she had no' 0een unders'ood. 5iEay 8as 8earing
0linkers as i' 8ere and 8as a0le 'o see persons and pro0lems from one par'icular angle only. This is a case of
fil'ered lis'ening< in 'he sense 'ha' our preEudices and personal< familial< social< and cul'ural 0iases pre+en'
our lis'ening 'o 'he clien' 'o'ally. &+en psychological 'heories could ser+e as 0linkers.
%-+ TOTAL LISTENING
There is a colleague of mine 8ho can si' hours 'oge'her 8i'h people 8ho pour ou' 'heir pro0lems.
7e does no' ha+e much formal 'raining in counselling< and ye' a lo' of people 8ere flocking 'o him 'o speak
ou' 'heir pro0lems. Perhaps 'he clien's did no' ge' much of ac'ion-orien'ed direc'ion from 'he counsellor< 0u'
all of 'hem fel' 'ha' 'hey 8ere unders'ood 0ecause he could lis'en 'o 'hem fully< 0eing presen' 'o'ally and
0eing a0le 'o pick ou' 'he messages accura'ely< 8i'hou' dis'or'ing and unders'anding 'he pro0lem< as 'hough
he 8ere in 'he place of 'he clien's. This is in fac' 'o'al lis'ening. -' is unders'anding 'he clien' in hisHher
in'ernal frame of reference< and communica'ing 'his unders'anding of 'he counsellor 'o 'he clien'.
2*
.+ REASONS FOR INADEQUATE LISTENING
To'al lis'ening is a rare gif'. $ome may ha+e 'his 'o a cer'ain le+el qui'e na'urally< and o'hers ha+e 'o
acquire 'his skill. 4y mo'i+a'ion and effor' 8i'h prolonged prac'ice< one can acquire 'his skill. -' is
8or'h8hile 'o consider +arious hindrances 'ha' pre+en' you from lis'ening 'o'ally.
%8+ PH:SICAL TIREDNESS
Amal is a much sough' af'er counsellor in his locali'y. People from far and near 'hrong 'o him for
counselling. 7e 'ries 'o o0lige all of 'hem since people come from far< and af'er mee'ing a fe8 counsellees<
he is una0le 'o lis'en 'o 'he res' of 'hem as he is physically 'ired. Physical 'iredness< as 8ell as men'al
'iredness< can come in 'he 8ay of your lis'ening 'o 'he clien' fully. 4ecause of 'he 'iredness you e/perience
in +arious sys'ems of 'he 0ody< you are una0le 'o concen'ra'e. Fsually a 'ired counsellor is a poor counsellor.
&+en 'hough you may ha+e 'he kno8ledge and 'he skills required for counselling< on accoun' of your
o+er8ork< or 8hile recupera'ing af'er a serious illness< you are una0le 'o lis'en 'o 'he clien'.
%.+ PREOCCUPATION
-f you recei+e a sad ne8s or 'oo good a ne8s< 'hen you 8ill no' 0e in a posi'ion 'o si' for counselling
session< since your mind 8ill 0e d8elling on 'he ne8s you had recei+ed. Any'hing ou' of 'he 8ay 0y 8ay of
ne8s< ei'her good or 0ad< 'ha' shakes your personali'y< demands some 'ime 'o se''le do8n. Jou may push
'hese 'hings aside< 0u' your mind au'oma'ically goes 0ack 'o 'hese ne8s. &+ery sad ne8s has 'o 0e grie+ed
for a 8hile as a grie+ing process< and like8ise e+ery good ne8s has 'o 0e cherished for a 8hile< 0efore i'
could 0e kep' aside. Therefore< 'hese concerns are a hindrance for lis'ening 'o'ally. -f you Eus' had an
e/perience of 0eing fired from your Eo0 and 'hen you 8ere 'o si' for a counselling< you can 0e ra'her sure 'ha'
1.
you 8ill no' 0e 'o'ally presen' 'o lis'en 'o 'he clien'. "e' us suppose 'ha' you go' a 0ig sum of money 0y
lo''eryO Do you 'hink immedia'ely af'er hearing 'ha' ne8s you 8ill 0e in a posi'ion 'o lis'en 'o a clien'L
Defini'ely no'< 0ecause you 8ill 0e hilariously Eoyous o+er 'he ne8s of your good for'une. )or e/ample< you
are planning an all -ndia 'our of one mon'h. -f you are +ery occupied 8i'h 'ha' plan< during 'ha' 'ime i' 8ill
0e difficul' for you 'o lis'en 'o someone 'o'ally. ?hen you are deeply dis'ressed< or hilariously e/u0eran'< or
passiona'ely engrossed in some'hing a0sor0ing< you 8ill no' 0e a0le 'o lend a lis'ening ear 'o your clien'<
since 'hose e/periences 8ill keep you occupied.
%1+ ATTRACTION
-' has 0een o0ser+ed 'ha' if 'he clien's are a''rac'i+e< 'hen 'hey seem 'o recei+e more a''en'ion from
'he counsellorsK like8ise if 'he counsellees are una''rac'i+e< 'hen 'he counsellors are no' eager 'o pay
a''en'ion 'o 'hem. This 0eing 'he case< 'he e/perience of 0eing pulled or repelled migh' occupy 'he a''en'ion
of 'he counsellor< and so heHshe concen'ra'es on 8ha' heHshe feels ra'her 'han on 8ha' 'he clien' says. -n 'he
same line of 'hough'< i' is also 'rue 'ha' if you ha+e a s'rong nega'i+e feeling 'o8ards a clien'< you are
unlikely 'o render your 'o'al lis'ening 'o himHher.
%/+ DISTRACTION
$ome'imes couples or e+en indi+iduals come for counselling 8i'h 'heir children. The small 'o's do a
lo' of 'hings 'ha' may dis'rac' 'he counsellor from lis'ening. A' 'imes< 'hey do no' lea+e 'he elders and cling
'o 'hem crying. As far as possi0le you could ask 'he clien's 'o come alone lea+ing 'heir children in 'he care
of o'hers. -n case 'hey ha+e come 8i'h 'heir children you need 'o 0e e/'ra a''en'i+e 'o lis'en 'o 8ha' 'he
clien's say.
%;+ SIMILARIT: OF PRO5LEM
(amala is a counsellor in a marriage 0ureau< and she is a 8ido8 pas' middle age. &s'her< ano'her
8ido8 of 'he age group of (amala< comes for counselling and shares her financial 8orries in educa'ing her
children. Precisely 'his is 8ha' (amala herself is e/periencing 8i'h her limi'ed salary 'o make 0o'h ends
mee'. As &s'her 8as narra'ing her pro0lems< (amala 8as los' in her o8n 8orries and remained daAed.
?hen 'he pro0lems you hear are similar 'o 'he ones you are e/periencing curren'ly< your lis'ening
performance may 0e a' a lo8er le+el.
%-+ DISSIMILARIT: OF PRO5LEM
Agnes from &urope had come 'o -ndia for e/perience< and she 8as qui'e fluen' in 'he local language.
?hile she a''ended 'he counselling course and 8as sen' 'o 'he hospi'als for field8ork< she me' a num0er of
people o+er 'here. ?hene+er people spoke of some local pro0lems of no' 0eing in+i'ed for a marriage and
ho8 i' ough' 'o 0e done< Agnes 8as 'o'ally a' a loss< 0ecause cul'urally 'he local pro0lems 8ere so differen'
'ha' she could no' unders'and 'hem. Thus dissimilari'y of pro0lems also can 0e a hindrance 'o your lis'ening
'o 'he clien'.
%<+ O6EREAGERNESS
@f'en counsellor 'rainees< and 'hose 8ho are prac'ising counselling for 'he firs' 'ime< ha+e pro0lems
in lis'ening< 0ecause 'hey are so o+ereager 'o respond properly 'ha' 'hey miss 'he clien's and 8ha' 'hey say.
&+en if you had 0een clumsy in responding< you need no' 8orry a0ou' i' since i' is only 'he 0eginning< and
8i'h 'he passing of 'ime and e/perience you are likely 'o impro+e your lis'ening capaci'y. 4y o+er-
eagerness< you only miss 8ha' you 8an' 'o preser+e. This idea came home 'o me +ery s'rongly recen'ly
8hen - 8as 'alking 'o someone on 'he 0anks of 'he ri+er Cau+ery. $uddenly 8e heard a human +oice< and
11
8e sa8 a man dro8ning in 'he ri+er. The man 8as caugh' in 'he curren' 8hile 'aking 0a'h a0ou' half a
kilome're a8ay from 8here 8e 8ere. The curren' 8as so forceful 'ha' he 8as s8if'ly 0eing carried 'o
ano'her half a kilome're ahead< 8here some people 8alking on 'he 0ridge spo''ed him and finally rescued
him. Af'er 'he rescue opera'ion 8hen - 8as 'alking 'o 'he dro8ning man< - realiAed 'ha' he did no' kno8
s8imming and he 8as suffering from psycho'ic symp'oms and he 8as no' +ery much a8are of 8ha' 8as
happening 'o him. 4ecause of his lack of a8areness of 8ha' 8as happening 'o him< he 8as safe 'hough he
8as 0eing carried a8ay 0y 'he curren' for a0ou' a kilome're. 7ad he 0een a8are and an/ious< - am sure he
8ould ha+e 0een dro8ned 8i'hin a fe8 me'res. &+en 8i'h regard 'o snake 0i'es< i' is said< 'ha' more people
die due 'o fear of 'he snake 0i'e ra'her 'han 'he 0i'es 'hemsel+es. $o any o+er-eagerness or an/ie'y only
8orks agains' 8ha' 8e 8an' 'o achie+e. 7ence one should 0e8are of o+er-eagerness in lis'ening and
responding.
2,

Also< remem0er 'o a+oid noisy places< dis'rac'i+e scenes< and 0o'hersome people near0y.
17
;
Re(lec# #!e c$n#en# using #!e ($r&ul ?:$u s*J.>
!o8 'ha' you ha+e carefully lis'ened 'o 'he clien'< you are ready 'o go 'o 'he ne/' s'ep of 0uilding a
po8er 0ase< 'ha' is< responding 'o 'he clien'. The clien's 8ho 'alked so far 8an' 'o kno8 if you ha+e lis'ened
'o 'hem carefully. ?he'her you lis'ened 'o 'hem carefully can 0e made ou' from your +er0al repor' of 8ha'
'hey ha+e narra'ed. "ike 'he firs' impressions you make on 'he clien's< 'he firs' responses are also going 'o
affec' 'he clien's ei'her posi'i+ely or nega'i+ely. ?i'hou' 0eing o+eran/ious< you need 'o 0e skilful enough 'o
8ord your responses. Primarily< i' is mean' 'o gi+e 'he assurance 'o 'he clien' 'ha' you unders'ood hisHher
messageK secondly< 'o make himHher hear hisHher message in an orderly 8ay< 'ha' is< Eus' 'he real message
lea+ing ou' all 'ha' accompanied 'he messageK 'hirdly< i' gi+es a cer'ain clari'y 'o 'he narra'ion of 'he clien'
since you pick and choose 'he real messageK and finally i' gi+es clari'y 'o 'he counsellor himHherself
regarding 8ha' heHshe unders'ood. Jour responding ser+es as a s'imulus s'a'emen' for 'he clien' 'o 'alk
fur'her.
Pre+iously 8e spoke a0ou' physical a''ending. !o8 is 'he 'ime 'o speak a0ou' psychological
a''ending. Psychological a''ending can 0e made ou' 0y 'he 8ay you are a0le 'o pick up 'he message of 'he
clien' and reflec' i' 'o hisHher sa'isfac'ion. This is 8ha' you are going 'o do no8.
8. Res'$nding
=esponding is no' al8ays necessaryO 7a+e you no' me' people 8ho come and e/press and emo'e and
ge' up and go. They did no' e+en 8an' any response from you. All 'ha' 'hey 8an'ed 8as 'o discharge<
especially 'heir emo'ions. They had a ca'har'ic effec' of ha+ing e/pressed 8ha' 8as 0o''led up in 'heir
sel+es. ?hen 'he clien's are no' par'icular a0ou' your response< you need no' 'hrus' your response upon
'hem. They go' 8ha' 'hey 8an'edO "e' 'hem go. -n case< as i' happens mos' of 'he 'ime in counselling< you
ha+e 'o respond< le' us see ho8 you ough' 'o do.
-n 'he communica'ion model< af'er lis'ening comes responding. =esponding is 'he 'ask of 'he
counsellor. 7a+ing lis'ened 'o 'he pro0lems of 'he clien' 'he counsellor has 'o respond. The quali'y of
hisHher response de'ermines 'he fur'her progress of 'he counselling. There are clien's 8ho are encouraged 0y
'he response 'hey recei+e from 'he counsellors. Therefore 8e gi+e impor'ance 'o 'he response< specially 'he
firs' ones. The firs' impression is 'he 0es' impression< 'hey say.
.. Hel'ing SBills Pre7 #es#
!o8 si' 0ack and rela/. Jou can ha+e some fun in your s'udy. Jou 8ill ha+e a 'as'e of 8ha'
responding is 0y doing 'he follo8ing 'es'. -' is 'o Eudge for yourself 'he na'ural capaci'y you ha+e a' presen'
in responding 'o people in crisis. -magine 'ha' you are in'erac'ing 8i'h 'he follo8ing counsellee for a0ou' *6
minu'es. The counsellee is a se+en'een years old s'uden' from a 0roken family fed up 8i'h 'he family
a'mosphere.
0I am unable to bear any more. &y house is in a mess" my father is a drunkard and whate!er he
earns he drinks and brings home nothing. &y mother is not able to manage the house. 1he beats and scolds
my brothers and sisters. There is no peace at home and I don2t know what to do.2
12
@n 'he follo8ing lines< 8ri'e ou' 8ha' you 8ould say 'o 'his counselee. ?ri'e 'he e/ac' 8ords you
8ould use if you 8ere ac'ually speaking 'o 'his s'uden'.
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!o8< 'o gi+e you an idea of ho8 8ell you can Eudge helpful responses< 8e 8ill consider here 0elo8
fi+e responses made 0y fi+e differen' counsellors. !e/' 'o each of 'he responses< you can 8ri'e a score 'o
indica'e your ra'ing of 'he effec'i+eness of 'ha' response.
Fse 'he follo8ing ra'ing scale. -f 'he response is +ery ineffec'i+e< gi+e 1 scoreK if ineffec'i+e< gi+e
#K if minimally effec'i+e< gi+e *K if +ery effec'i+e< gi+e ,K if e/'remely effec'i+e< gi+e ..
5ery ineffec'i+e 1
-neffec'i+e #
Minimally effec'i+e *
5ery effec'i+e ,
&/'remely effec'i+e .
Hel'er Res'$nses :$ur r#ing
1. Jou are saying 'ha' you are una0le 'o s'and 'he family si'ua'ion crea'ed 0y your
irresponsi0le and drunkard fa'her and 'he a0usi+e mo'her.
#. Jour fa'her may ha+e hundred and one reasons for drinking. 7o8 are you
going 'o unders'and his si'ua'ionL Jou should ha+e some pa'ience 'o unders'and
your fa'her and mo'her.
*. Jou are helpless and angry 8i'h 'he family si'ua'ion crea'ed 0y your drunkard
and irresponsi0le fa'her and 'he a0usi+e mo'her.
,. Jou feel hopeless a0ou' your family si'ua'ion on accoun' of 'he irresponsi0ili'y
of your drunkard fa'her and 'he o+er0urdened mo'her and you 8ould like 'o do
some'hing a0ou' i'. Perhaps you could as your firs' s'ep e/plore 'he possi0le
means of helping your fa'her.
.. Jou are helpless and angry 8i'h your family si'ua'ion made 0y your
irresponsi0le fa'her and a0usi+e mo'her and you 8ould really 8an' 'o do
some'hing a0ou' i'.
Pre7Tes# Discri&in#i$n Sc$re
Res'$nse
Nu&"er
:$ur R#ing EC'er# R#ing Di((erence Sc$re
1 #
# 1
* *
, .
. ,
T$#l $( Di((erence Sc$re
13
Pre7#es# discri&in#i$n Sc$re K T$#l $( di((erence Sc$re L Nu&"er Fi@e
To calcula'e your pre-'es' discrimina'ion score< do 'he follo8ing:
1. ?i'hou' regard 'o 8he'her 'he difference is posi'i+e or nega'i+e< 8ri'e do8n 'he difference
0e'8een each of your numerical ra'ings and each of 'he e/per'Bs numerical ra'ings.
#. Add up 'he difference scores.
*. Di+ide 'he 'o'al of 'he difference scores 0y .. The resul' is your pre-'es' discrimina'ion score.
,. The lo8er 'he score 'he 0e''er is your a0ili'y 'o Eudge helpful responses. -f your pre-'es'
discrimina'ion score is 6< 'hen you are an e/per'O
There are '8o 8ays of analyAing responses as 8e 8ill see in 'he for'hcoming pages. The one and 'he
same response can 0e analyAed 0y &-$PF ;&-$PF is an acronym made of 'he firs' le''ers of &+alua'i+e<
-n'erpre'a'i+e< $uppor'i+e< Pro0ing< and Fnders'anding responses> or &go $'a'es. "e' us consider 'hem in
de'ail.
1. KINDS OF RESPONSES AS EISPU
Amar is a '8en'y-'hree year old young man gi+en 'o drugs< and he approaches 'he counsellor 'o ge'
some help for his pro0lem. 7e says:
CIt all happened like fun. Actually I did not want to experiment with drugs, but my companions
forced this habit on me. Once I started, I liked the kick I got from the drug. 3ow I am unable to get rid of
this habit. I am mostly preoccupied with obtaining the drug by all means. &y whole life re!ol!es around
drug. If I stop for a day, my hands tremble.2
Counsellor A: 7o8 foolish you are 'o ha+e spoiled your precious life so
early< my son. Jour respec'a0le paren's may consider you a disgrace
'o your family. -s i' so difficul' 'ha' you canM' gi+e i' upL - 8onder if
you ha+e 'he good8ill 'o gi+e i' up.
Counsellor 4: Jou ha+e 0ecome dependen' on drugs 0y prolonged useK
and 'he 'rem0ling hands are a sign of 8i'hdra8al symp'om.
Jou are heading 'o8ards a chronic s'age< as far as - see.
Counsellor C: !o8adays youngs'ers ge' in'o such ha0i's< and i' is qui'e
common in high schools and colleges. -' is no' such
a serious pro0lem< and 8i'h some help - am sure you can
ge' o+er 'his difficul'y and s'ar' a ne8 life.
Counsellor D: - 8ould apprecia'e your 'elling me ho8 long you are 'aking drugs.
Counsellor &: Jou are 8orried a0ou' your condi'ion as a resul'
of 'aking drugs< and upse' a0ou' your ina0ili'y 'o come
ou' of 'he ha0i'.
Jou ha+e seen fi+e counsellors gi+ing fi+e differen' responses 'o 'he presen'a'ion of 'he one and 'he
same pro0lem. @ne can in+en' e+en more 'ypes of responses. "e' us limi' oursel+es 'o 'he a0o+e fi+e 'ypes
of responses< and analyse 'hem 8i'h regard 'o 'heir usefulness in 'he counselling process. Counselling
psychologis's ha+e grouped 'he responses 8hich counsellors usually make in'o fi+e ca'egories< depending
upon 'he in'en'ions of 'he counsellors. T!e in#en#i$n underl*ing #!e res'$nses is 'aken as 'he cri'erion 'o
place 'hem under differen' ca'egories. "e' us go in'o 'he de'ails of 'he na'ure of 'he fi+e responses.
76
8+ E6ALUATI6E OR AD6ISING RESPONSES
4;
Counsellor A indeed is +ery much concerned a0ou' 'he counsellee Amar. 7is response on accoun' of
his concern for Amar comes in 'he form of a reprimandK an ad+ice 'hough gi+en indirec'ly< is making a
Eudgemen' a0ou' 'he rela'i+e goodness< appropria'eness or effec'i+eness of 'he 8ay Amar is func'ioning.
9!ene@er *$u gi@e d@ice) $r c$rrec#) $r &$rliHe nd e@en sugges#) *$u &Be n e@lu#i@e res'$nse.
@f course< 'hose 8ho gi+e ad+ice mean some'hing +ery posi'i+e< and 'heir concern for 'he clien's also is
grea'. -' has i's o8n place in counsellingK and on 'he 8hole i' may no' 0e 'ha' useful as i' appears 'o 0e. !o'
e+ery clien' can see 'he care and concern 0ehind such a reprimand. The counsellor feels sorry 'ha' such a
young man like Amar should spoil his life in his 'ender age. The reasons 8hy such an e+alua'i+e response
may no' 0e helpful are many and 8e shall see some of 'hem:
i. -' aliena'es 'he clien' from 'he counsellor and heHshe 8ill no' fur'her coopera'e 8i'h 'he counsellor
les' heHshe should recei+e more reprimands. People 'end 'o a+oid punishmen's and scolding< and if
'he counsellor a' 'he 0eginning i'self 8ere 'o 0e puni'i+e 0y hisHher 8ords< 'he counsellee 8ill only
a''emp' 'o lea+e 'he si'ua'ion.
ii. -' makes 'he clien' feel 8orse 'han 8ha' heHshe fel' 8hen heHshe came for 'he counselling. ?hile
coming for 'he counselling< 'he counsellee 8ould ha+e come 8i'h 'he e/pec'a'ion of 0eing
unders'ood and helped< 0u' on 'he con'rary an e+alua'i+e response pu's himHher off< and heHshe
deprecia'es himHherself more 'han heHshe did earlier.
iii. -' undermines 'he capaci'y of 'he clien' 'o sol+e hisHher o8n pro0lem. 4y Eus' gi+ing your solu'ion 'o
'he pro0lem< you depri+e 'he clien' of 'he oppor'uni'y 'o mo0iliAe hisHher resources for 'he solu'ion
of hisHher pro0lem.
i+. -' is one 8ay of a+oiding in+ol+emen' 8i'h 'he clien'. ?hen you are in+ol+ed< you 8ill e/plore 'he
possi0ili'y of making himHher 'ake 'he necessary s'epsK 0u' 8hen you are no' in+ol+ed< you Eus' gi+e
a ready-made ad+ice.
+. Perhaps you do no' care for 'he clien' sufficien'ly< for if only you care for 'he clien'< you 8ill 'ake 'he
'rou0le of si''ing 'oge'her and spending some 'ime 'o facili'a'e himHher 'o e/plore< 'o unders'and< and
'o ac'.
+i. -n a 8ay< in gi+ing ad+ice< you indica'e 'ha' your Eudgemen' is 0e''er 'han 'ha' of 'he clien'.
+ii. Ad+ice usually 0e'rays your a''i'ude ra'her 'han 'he a''i'ude of 'he clien'.
+iii. -n gi+ing ad+ice< you may 0e indirec'ly in+i'ing 'he clien' 'o en'er in'o 'he unheal'hy psychological
game called CJes< 0u'.B &+ery sugges'ion you make is eagerly accep'ed< and 'he clien' presen's a
cer'ain difficul'y 8hy heHshe canno' pu' 'ha' piece of ad+ice in'o prac'ice. Af'er a num0er of
sugges'ions< for 8hich you recei+e coun'er argumen's< you finally gi+e up gi+ing ad+ice< feeling
+ery 0ad. 7ere 0o'h of you ha+e played a perfec' game: C?hy donM' you RB 0y you< and CJes<
0u'RB 0y 'he clien' ;8hich is complemen'ing>. 4y 'his game< no'hing is achie+ed< e/cep' feeling
nega'i+e 0y 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. People usually 8ill no' carry ou' decisions made 0y
o'hers. Ad+ices are no'hing o'her 'han decisions made 0y 'he gi+er of ad+ice. Fsually 'he clien'
reEec's 'he ad+ice 0y gi+ing argumen's agains' 'he ad+ice. -f a' all 'he clien' accep's your ad+ice< i'
may 0e 0ecause heHshe does no' 8an' 'o offend you 0y hisHher non-accep'ance of your ad+ice 0u'
la'er heHshe is no' likely 'o carry i' ou'.
Can 8e say 'ha' e+alua'i+e responses are all 0adL Are 'here no' momen's 8hen gi+ing ad+ice is
0eneficialL Perhaps 8e need 'o consider 'he 'ype of persons and 'he 'ype of si'ua'ions one migh' encoun'er.
%8+ M* n$# "e use(ulD
71
i. People 8ho are capa0le of self-managemen' and are highly in'elligen' in fac' resen' your gi+ing
ad+ice. They can run 'heir o8n sho8.
ii. People 8ho ha+e enough resources 0u' are un8illing 'o 'ap 'heir resources 'o make 'heir si'ua'ion
0e''er may 0ecome laAier and 0ecome e+er dependen' on you.
%.+ M* "e use(ulD
1. Children and old people ;8ho are prac'ically like children> may 0e helped 0y ad+ice. Children ha+e
no' 0uil' up 'heir ego s'rongly and are no' a0le 'o s'and on 'heir o8n. They need 'o depend on elders
8hose au'hori'y coun's much for 'he children. @ld people 'oo may respond 8ell 'o sugges'ions or
ad+ice since 'heir defences are de'eriora'ing< and 'hey s'and +ulnera0le like children 8an'ing 'o 0e
guided. ;7ere again le' us keep in mind 'ha' ho8 some'imes children and old people are adaman' on
carrying ou' 'heir o8n 8illO>
ii. People 8ho are seriously dis'ur0ed or ill may respond 'o e+alua'i+e responses. &+en s'rong people
8hen dis'ur0ed emo'ionally are disorien'ed and need guidance immedia'ely< 0u' no' la'er 8hen 'hey
can s'and up on 'heir o8n legs. People 8hose rela'i+es me' 8i'h an acciden' may no' kno8 8ha' 'o
do< and 8ha' no' 'o do< e+en 'hough 'hey are a0le indi+iduals. @nce - +isi'ed a sick pa'ien' in my
pas'oral minis'ry. The pa'ien' 8as a lady doc'or dying of skin cancer. $he had recei+ed e+ery kind
of a+aila0le 'rea'men'. -n her 'erminal s'age she 8as asking me 8ha' medicine she could s'ill 'ake.
$he kne8 for cer'ain 'ha' - 8as no' a medical personnel< and 'he fac' 8as 'ha' she kne8 more a0ou'
medicine 'han - didK and ye' 0ecause of her despera'e s'a'e< she 8as asking my ad+ice e+en in
medical fieldO $o people in despera'e si'ua'ions respond 'o sugges'ions.
iii. -n confron'a'ional counselling< e+alua'i+e responses are useful.
%1+ Gi@ing In($r&#i$n
9i+ing ad+ice is one 'hing< and gi+ing informa'ion is qui'e ano'her 'hing. ?hen you are gi+ing
informa'ion< you are supplying 'he clien' 8i'h fac's and da'a a0ou' e/periences< e+en's< and people. -n
gi+ing ad+ice i' is your Eudgemen' 'ha' is predominan'< 0u' in gi+ing informa'ion i' is da'a 'ha' you pro+ide
'ha' are impor'an'. Perhaps 'he informa'ion you pro+ide 'he clien' 8i'h may 0e +i'al in reaching a solu'ion.
@rdinary people 8ho are no' 8ell le''ered usually do no' ha+e enough of informa'ion. A 8ido8er 8ho 8as a
daily la0ourer had a se+en-year-old son< and his 8ife had eloped 8i'h ano'her man lea+ing 0ehind 'he 0oy.
This 8ido8er did no' kno8 8here 'o en'rus' his son for s'udy. 7is decision 'o educa'e his son and 0ring him
up 8ell 8as 'hereK 0u' 'he informa'ion 8here a se+en-year-old 0oy 8ould 0e 'aken care of 8as 'he one - had
'o gi+e him. -n gi+ing informa'ion 8e do no' force our decision. Therefore< keep in mind 8hile gi+ing
informa'ion 'ha' you do i' as a ma''er of fac'. @0+iously you could gi+e 'he informa'ion 8hen 'he clien's ask
for i'. &+en if 'hey do no' ask for i'< you could pro+ide informa'ion. The clien's may 0e 0lissfully ignoran'
of 'he consequences of 'heir decisions< and any amoun' of pro0ing may no' help 'hem since 'he kno8ledge is
no' 8i'hin 'heir reach< and in such circums'ances you could pro+ide 'he informa'ion a0ou' 'he consequences
of 'he decision. ?ha' 8ould 0e 8rong is 'o force 'hem 'o ac' according 'o 'he informa'ion you ha+e
pro+ided.
?hen you pro+ide informa'ion< see 'ha' 8ha' you gi+e is correc'. "e' no' your opinion 0e gi+en as
some'hing fac'ual. Presen' your opinion as your opinion. $ome of 'he +i'al informa'ion like 'he kno8ledge
of a dreadful sickness may ha+e an emo'ional impac' on 'he clien's< in 8hich case you need 'o deal 8i'h 'he
impac' as 8ell. "e' no' +i'al informa'ion 0e 8i'hheld from 'he clien's Eus' 0ecause you shy a8ay from gi+ing
unpleasan' informa'ion. -f +i'al informa'ion is kno8n 'o you alone and 8i'hheld from 'he clien's< you may
0e doing a disser+ice 'o 'hem.
.+ INTERPRETATI6E OR ANAL:SING RESPONSES
4-
7#
-n 'he case of Amar< Counsellor 4 has gi+en a response 8hich e/plains 8hy Amar is ha+ing such a
pro0lem. 7eHshe e/plains 'ha' 'he pro0lem is 0ecause Amar has 0ecome addic'ed 'o drugs< and 'ha' is 8hy
he is no' a0le 'o gi+e 'hem up. Again an e/plana'ion of 'he shaking hands is gi+en.
The shaking hands is e/plained as 8i'hdra8al symp'om 'ha' resul's in< 8hen someone gi+es up
drugs or alcohol 'o 8hich one is addic'ed. ?hene+er you gi+e reasons 8hy such a pro0lem ;as presen'ed 'o
you> e/is's< you are in'erpre'ing. 9!ene@er *$u ##e&'# #$ eC'lin A!* #!e clien# !s suc! 'r$"le& $r
i&'r# s$&e 's*c!$l$gicl Bn$Aledge #$ #!e clien# ($r !isL!er 'r$"le&) *$u re &Bing in#er're##i@e
res'$nses.
The reac'ion 'o in'erpre'a'i+e responses may 0e +aried. Mos'ly clien's do no' like 'o 0e o+eranalysed
and 0ecome +ery defensi+e and closed up< les' 'hey should 0e analysed s'ill fur'her. There are also clien's
8ho 8ould ask 'he ques'ion C8hyB a0ou' 'heir pro0lem. $uch clien's 8ould 8elcome in'erpre'a'i+e
responses. -n confron'a'ional and educa'ional kinds of counselling< counsellors make use of in'erpre'a'i+e
responses.
1+ SUPPORTI6E OR REASSURING RESPONSES
4<
?hen 8e 8ere small and 8ere in difficul'y< 8e ran 'o our paren's or elders for suppor'. As 8e gro8
old< 8e s'ill need someone 'o suppor' us in our crisis. ?hen 8e realiAe 'ha' someone is suppor'ing us< our
pro0lem may 0egin 'o disappear< or a' leas' lessen in i's gra+i'y. -n crisis< 8e 'end 'o e/aggera'e 'he gra+i'y
of 'he ma''er and 'he si'ua'ion< 8hereas in fac' i' 8ould no' ha+e 0een 'ha' serious. A 0achelor of '8en'y-fi+e
years came 'o me for counselling. 7e had con'rac'ed a +enereal disease< and 8as grea'ly 'rou0led. 7e
'hough' 'ha' he had con'rac'ed a +ery peculiar disease and 8as +ery depressed. - 'old him 'ha' i' 8as
common among youngs'ers 'o con'rac' +enereal diseases< and i' could 0e +ery easily cured 8i'h modern
medicine. ?hen he heard 'ha' i' 8as a common disease among youngs'ers and could 0e cured easily< he fel'
a grea' relief.
-n our e/ample of Amar< Counsellor C reassured him and 'old him 'ha' 'he pro0lem of drug
dependence is a passing phenomenon and can 0e go' o+er easily< and 'ha' Amar need no' feel as in'ensely
nega'i+e a0ou' his condi'ion as he does.
9!ene@er *$u ##e&'# #$ reduce #!e in#ensi#* $( #!e (eeling $( #!e clien# "* *$ur res'$nses) *$u
&Be su''$r#i@e res'$nses. $'a'emen's like MDonM' 8orry< 'hings 8ill pass off<B C-' is all qui'e na'ural<B
CThings 8ill soon 'urn ou' 'o 0e 0e''erB C-' is all for your good<B and C-n any case i' is a +alua0le e/perience
for youB 8ill indica'e 'ha' you are suppor'i+e of 'he clien'. :us' 'elling 'ha' you suppor' 'he clien' need no' 0e
a suppor'i+e response.
- had 0een in'er+ie8ing some hear' pa'ien's 8ho had ac'ually 0een sna'ched from dea'h 0y 'he
'imely in'er+en'ion of doc'ors. ?hile 'hey 8ere 'alking 'o me< - asked 'hem 8ha' in 'heir opinion 8as
facili'a'ing< and 8ha' 'hey did no' like people 'elling 'hem. All of 'hem unanimously said ;'hough 'hey 8ere
in'er+ie8ed separa'ely> 'ha' 8hene+er ei'her 'he people or 'he doc'ors spoke 'o 'hem suppor'i+e responses<
'hey liked i'< and 8an'ed 'o hear such responses only. &+en if 'he condi'ion 8as 8orse< 'hey 8an'ed 'o hear
'ha' 'he condi'ion 8as no' 'ha' serious and i' 8as qui'e normal in 'hese days< and 'ha' 'here 8ere many people
8ho had more se+ere a''acks and ye' carried on 'heir 8orks normally. Therefore< people 8ho are in e/'reme
despair 8ould like 'o hear only suppor'i+e responses.
People in crisis 8ill apprecia'e your suppor'i+e responses. Children defini'ely lo+e 'o 0e reassured.
The danger in suppor'i+e responses may 0e 'ha' 'hey discoun' 'he in'ensi'y of 'he feeling< significance< and
impor'ance of 'he e/perience. Perhaps 'he clien' 'hough' 'ha' a pro0lem 8as 8or'h8hile 'o 0e deal' 8i'h< 0u'
you migh' ha+e 0rushed i' aside 'elling 'ha' 'he pro0lem 8as no' 'ha' impor'an'. A li''le girl had her 'oy
0roken< and 8as 8eeping 'o her daddy sho8ing 'he 0roken 'oy. The daddy 'old her 'ha' she should no' 8eep
for small 'hings. Then came 'he ques'ion from 'he girl enquiring C8ha' are small 'hingsLB )or 'he daddy 'he
0roken 'oy is a small 'hing< 0u' no' for 'he girl. )or children< a pe' animal 0eing los'< or a cherished 'oy 0eing
0roken< is a +ery serious ma''er< and 'hey 8eep inconsola0ly. Jou could remem0er ho8 Eealously you
7*
guarded some of 'he play'hings in your younger daysO &+en a 0roken mar0le is 8or'h 'he 8orld for a small
0oy 8ho feels 'he Eoy of possessing i'. -n 'he same 8ay< a pro0lem presen'ed 0y 'he clien' may look 'erri0ly
serious for 'he clien'< 'hough i' may look 'rifling for 'he counsellor. -n any case< if you do reassure< do no' do
so 'o discoun' 'he pro0lem.
There is a difference 0e'8een suppor'i+e and discoun'ing responses. -n suppor'i+e response 8e
seriously 'ake 'he pro0lem 0u' 8e are only concerned a0ou' reducing 'he in'ensi'y of 'he feeling of 'he clien'.
-n discoun'ing response< 8e do no' 'ake 'he pro0lem seriously. 7ere 8e someho8 reduce 'he seriousness of
'he pro0lem. "i'erally discoun'ing is reducing 'he +alue of a 'hing.
/+ PRO5ING OR QUESTIONING RESPONSES
44
-n our e/ample of Amar< counsellor D asks a ques'ion 'o kno8 ho8 long Amar is 'aking drugs. -' is
a pro0ing or ques'ioning response.
9!ene@er *$u &Be res'$nse #!# is &en# #$ elici# (ur#!er in($r&#i$n #$ unders#nd #!e
eC'erience) (eeling) nd "e!@i$ur $( #!e clien#) i# is 'r$"ing res'$nse. Fsually ques'ions facili'a'e 'he
counsellor 'o unders'and 'he clien' 0e''er so 'ha' heHshe could facili'a'e himHher. ?hene+er appropria'e
ques'ions are asked a' 'he proper 'ime< 'hey are facili'a'i+e. Considering 'he 'ypes of ques'ion and 'he 'iming
of 'he ques'ion 8ill 0e useful.
%8+ FACILITATI6E QUESTIONS
. INFORMATION QUESTIONS
Fsually 'he counsellor is a s'ranger 'o 'he counsellee< and 'he counsellee is a s'ranger 'o 'he
counsellor. -f 'hey 8ere 'o unders'and 0e''er< 'hey need 'o kno8 each o'her 8ell< for 8hich some general
informa'ion is 'o 0e o0'ained e+en 0efore 'he counselling proper s'ar's. 7ere 'he counsellee need no' ha+e
'he de'ailed informa'ion a0ou' 'he counsellor 0ecause i' is no' for 'he pro0lem and 0enefi' of 'he counsellor
'ha' counselling is done. Je' 'he counsellor should in'roduce himHherself and gi+e some 0asic informa'ion
a0ou' 8ho heHshe is. 4y informa'ion ques'ions 8e mean 'he de'ails required of 'he counsellee 0eing elici'ed
0y 'he 'ype of ques'ions pu' 0y 'he counsellor. -n 'he 0eginning of 'he counselling in'er+ie8< of necessi'y< 'he
counsellor is 0ound 'o ask a num0er of ques'ions 'o ge' 'o kno8 'he clien' 8ell. $ince asking 'oo many
ques'ions a' a s're'ch migh' irri'a'e 'he counsellee< 'he counsellor is e/pec'ed 'o 0e Eudicious in 'iming 'he
ques'ions and spacing 'hem appropria'ely.
". SPECIFIC QUESTIONS
?hen you ask 'he clien' 'o gi+e you specific informa'ion like 8hich< 8ha'< 8ho< ho8< 8here and
8hen< you ha+e specific ques'ions: ?hen 8as i' 'ha' you quarrelled 8i'h your 0ro'herL ?ha' makes you
angry 8hen you are in 'he classL ?hen someone cri'iciAes you in pu0lic< ho8 do you reac'L These are all
e/amples of specific ques'ions. This helps 'he clien' 'o 0e +ery concre'e in hisHher e/plora'ion ins'ead of
0eing +ague and haAy. $ince specific ques'ions gi+e clari'y 'o 'he counselling process< 'his 'ype of ques'ion
is 'o 0e made use of in counselling in'er+ie8s.
c. ELA5ORATE QUESTIONS
&la0ora'e ques'ions gi+e oppor'uni'y for 'he clien's 'o speak in de'ail a0ou' 'he pro0lem si'ua'ions.
The general informa'ion you recei+ed may no' 0e of +ery much rele+ance 'o 'he pro0lem< and 'he specific
ques'ions 8ill no' gi+e 'he 8hole pic'ure. @nly 8hen 'he clien' ela0ora'es 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion< you ge' 'he
'o'al pic'ure. ?hile dealing 8i'h 'he feeling< you could ask like: CCan you speak more a0ou' your feelingsLB
@r in ordinary si'ua'ions you could ask C-s 'here any'hing more 'o addLB @r CCan you gi+e me more de'ails
7,
a0ou' 'he si'ua'ionLB These are all ela0ora'e ques'ions 'ha' 8ill impel 'he clien's 'o ela0ora'e on 'heir pro0lem
si'ua'ions.
d. PERSONAL AFFECT QUESTIONS
)inally< 8ha' ma''ers in a pro0lem si'ua'ion is 'he 8ay 'he clien' feels. The clien' is feeling 0ad
a0ou' 'he pro0lem heHshe is facingK and so 'o kno8 8ha' heHshe is feeling< and 'o 8ha' e/'en'< is impor'an'
for 'he counsellor. M?hen you 8ere 0eli''led 0y your colleague< ho8 did you feelLM CAs you are narra'ing
'hese 'hings 'o me< 8ha' are you e/periencing 8i'hin yourselfLB @r simply M?ha' are you feelingLB are all
ques'ions 'ha' 8ill elici' informa'ion a0ou' 'he 8ay 'he clien' is feeling a0ou' a si'ua'ion.
%.+ NON7FACILITATI6E QUESTIONS
. CURIOUS QUESTIONS
Jou need 'o kno8 informa'ion a0ou' 'he clien' and hisHher pro0lem and all 'ha' per'ains 'o 'hese. A
clien' says 'ha' he had an illici' rela'ionship 8i'h a 8oman. -f you ask him ho8 'he 8oman looks like< 'ha'
8ill 0e a curious ques'ion. The kno8ledge a0ou' ho8 'he 8oman looks like is no' necessary for your
counselling process and 'he clien' may no' 8an' 'o descri0e i' ei'her.
- remem0er 'ha' in my former prac'ice of counselling - used 'o 0e so s'ric' 'ha' - 8ould no' ask any
ques'ion o'her 'han 'he ones a0solu'ely needed for 'he immedia'e counselling process. 4u' la'er - realiAed
8hile doing family counselling< 'ha' - should ask o'her ques'ions 8hich need no' 0e curious ques'ions a' all.
)or e/ample< in family counselling or e+en in indi+idual counselling< 8e may ask 'he clien' 'o do 'he
CgenogramB ;family 'ree>. Af'er doing i' 8e ask 'he clien'Hs a num0er of ques'ions connec'ed 'o 'he
rela'ionship of 'he clien'Hs 8i'h o'her mem0ers of 'he family for 'hree genera'ions. 7ere 'he ques'ions 8e ask
are no' curious ques'ions. Jou migh' ask if someone commi''ed suicide or had men'al heal'h issues and 'he
like. These are mean' 'o unders'and 'he clien' and hisHher pro0lems presen'ed. 4u' o'her8ise< i' is good 'o
res'ric' oursel+es asking ques'ions 'ha' per'ain 'o 'he counselling only.
". CLOSED QUESTIONS
Closed ques'ions do no' gi+e enough room for 'he clien' 'o ela0ora'e on hisHher pro0lem. Closed
ques'ions aim a' ge''ing a reply in 'he form of MyesM or Cno.B )or e/ample< if you ask 'he clien' CDo you like
your fa'herLB< heHshe migh' ans8er ei'her MyesM or Cno<B and 'hen remain quie'. -ns'ead< if you 8ere 'o ask
himHher open-ended ques'ions like C7o8 is your rela'ionship 8i'h your fa'herLB 'he clien' migh' speak in
de'ail a0ou' ho8 heHshe rela'es 'o hisHher fa'her including 8he'her heHshe likes him or no'. $ince your aim is
'o make 'he clien' 'alk more< i' is good 'o ask open-ended ques'ions ins'ead of closed ques'ions.
c. T9O QUESTIONS
-f you are used 'o asking '8o ques'ions a' a 'ime< you are confusing 'he clien' and heHshe 8ill 0e in a
dilemma 'o ans8er your ques'ions. )or e/ample< C7o8 do you find 'he film 8e sa8 las' nigh'< and 8hich
ac'orHac'ress did perform 8ellLB Ask one ques'ion a' a 'ime< and af'er ge''ing 'he ans8er< ask 'he second
ques'ion. This gi+es a psychological space for 'he clien' 'o ans8er you properly 8i'hou' confusion.
d. TOO MAN: QUESTIONS
7.
-f your counselling 8ere 'o 0e filled 8i'h plen'y of ques'ions< 'ha' 8ill depri+e 'he clien' of 'he
oppor'uni'y 'o e/plore< and unders'and 'he pro0lem. All 'he essen'ial ques'ions are 'o 0e asked< 8hile
pruden'ly a+oiding 'oo many ques'ions.
e. CONTINUOUS QUESTIONS
&+en if you are asking 'oo many ques'ions< 'hese ques'ions need no' 0e asked a' a s're'ch< one af'er
ano'her< as 'ha' migh' EeopardiAe 'he psychological space 'he clien' requires for unders'anding< assimila'ing<
and ans8ering. Af'er pu''ing a pro0e< 8ai' for 'he ans8erK and on recei+ing 'he ans8er< make an empa'he'ic
s'a'emen' ins'ead of making ano'her pro0e. An empa'he'ic s'a'emen' makes 'he clien' feel accep'ed< and
keeps himHher ready for 'he ne/' ques'ion you may need 'o ask. -' is ad+isa0le 'ha' you make an empa'he'ic
response 0e'8een your ques'ions. This also gi+es 'he clien' psychological space 'o 'ake a 0rea'h and s'ar'
'alking.
(. 9H: QUESTIONS
A 8ord considered ana'hema in counselling is C8hy.B There are reasons 8hy M8hyM ques'ions are no'
usually asked in counselling. -n fac' C8hyB ques'ion 8ill elici' informa'ion from 'he clien'< 0u' i' 8ould also
0lock 'he real e/plora'ion of 'he clien'. The 8hy 'ype ques'ions 8ill make 'he clien' find ou' reasons<
8hereas Mho8B ques'ions 8ill elici' descrip'ion. 4y making 'he clien' gi+e reasons< you may 0e making 'he
condi'ion s'ill 8orse. The clien' is likely 'o 0ecome defensi+e and Eus'ify or ra'ionaliAe hisHher ac'ions
8i'hou' o8ning hisHher pro0lem and responsi0ili'y for change. Again M8hyM ques'ions 8ill indica'e your
disappro+al of 'he pro0lem of 'he clien'. -f you ask a clien' C?hy did you lose your 'emper 8i'h your class
'eacherLM you are communica'ing 0y 'his ques'ion 'ha' 'he clien' should no' ha+e go' angry 8hile 'alking 'o
hisHher class 'eacher. This is your disappro+al of 'he pro0lem of 'he clien'< and i' 8ill go agains' accep'ing
himHher uncondi'ionally.
g. LEADING QUESTIONS
4y leading ques'ions< you in+i'e 'he clien' 'o ans8er in 'he 8ay you 8an'. Jou almos' compel 'he
clien' 'o ans8er as you 8ish 0y gi+ing himHher 'he ans8er i'self clo'hed in your ques'ion. Take for e/ample<
CJou liked 'he par'y 8e had las' nigh'< didnM' youLB 8ill someho8 pressuriAe 'he person 'o ans8er CJes< - did
like i'.B -n leading ques'ions you may no' ge' 'he 'ru'h a0ou' ho8 a clien' 'hinks and feels a0ou' a pro0lem<
since heHshe may 0e concerned a0ou' pleasing you 0y gi+ing 'he Crigh' ans8er.B
!. THREATENING QUESTIONS
$elf-disclosure 8ill 0e o0+iously painful for 'he clien'. 7eHshe does re+eal 'o you mos'ly 0ecause
heHshe has 'o deal 8i'h hisHher pro0lem< and may no' 0e 0ecause heHshe feels happy a0ou' doing i'. -n'ima'e
de'ails should ra'her come ou' spon'aneously< and no' e/'rac'ed. Therefore i' is 0e''er 'o a+oid 'oo
pene'ra'ing ques'ions a0ou' oneMs in'ima'e personal life< unless 'he si'ua'ion 8arran's i'. )or e/ample< if a
clien' 'ells 'ha' heHshe 8as se/ually a0used in hisHher childhood< you need no' ask ho8 e/ac'ly 'he a0use 'ook
place. Jou ha+e kno8n 'he a0use and you need 'o kno8 ho8 i' affec's 'he person righ' no8 0u' no' 'he
de'ails of ho8 i' 'ook place unless 'ha' informa'ion comes spon'aneously from 'he clien'. The clien' 8ill feel
more confiden' and secure 'o gi+e you in'ima'e informa'ion a0ou' himHherself and hisHher pro0lems if you do
no' go af'er i'.
i. AM5IGUOUS QUESTIONS
Gues'ions 8i'h dou0le meanings 8ill make 'he clien' dou0' your mo'i+a'ion. Jour ques'ions need 'o
0e simple< s'raigh'for8ard< and easily unders'anda0le. Fsually am0iguous ques'ions ha+e '8o meanings< one
71
innocen' apparen'ly and ano'her 8icked undernea'h. -' is likely 'ha' 'he clien' in'ui's 'ha' you are con+eying
a 8icked meaning. Therefore< le' your ques'ions 0e open and frank.
I. POORL: TIMED QUESTIONS
?ha' should 0e asked a' 'he end of 'he session mus' no' 0e asked in 'he 0eginning of 'he session.
)or e/ample< 'o ask a clien' C?ha' s'eps do you 'hink 8ill 0e useful in ge''ing rid of laAinessB is poorly 'imed<
if you had no' firs' deal' 8i'h 'he pro0lem of laAiness i'self. @r a clien' had undergone a 'erri0le crisis in
hisHher life. Jou ask himHher 8he'her 'he 0i''er e/perience 8as no' a good lesson in hisHher life 0efore you
could make 'he clien' accep' and assimila'e 'he e/perience i'self and find meaning in i'.
B. QUI= PROGRAMME QUESTIONS
@ne need no' engage 'he clien's 8i'h a ques'ion-and-ans8er session as in a quiA programme. The
reason is +ery e+iden'K you are no' allo8ing 'he clien' 'o e/plore enough< reflec' on 'he a8areness< and 'ake
appropria'e decisions. "e' your pro0ing 0e 'o 'he minimum.
;+ UNDERSTANDING OR PARAPHRASING RESPONSES
42
-n 'he case of Amar< Counsellor & reflec'ed 'he message of Amar in 'erms of feelings. The dominan'
feelings 'ha' heHshe found in 'he narra'ion of Amar are: 8orry and upse'. 9!ene@er *$u 'icB $u# #!e
(eeling $( #!e clien# nd re(lec# i# #$ !isL!er s#is(c#i$n) *$u re &Bing n unders#nding res'$nse. -n
fac'< real cap'uring of 'he con'en' of 'he message of 'he clien' au'oma'ically implies picking up 'he feeling<
8he'her 'ha' floa's on 'he surface or remains 0uried undernea'h. The cri'erion 'o kno8 8he'her you are
making an unders'anding response is 'o see if your reflec'ing has any feeling 8ord< one 'ha' depic's 'he affec'
of 'he clien' accura'ely.
%8+ INTERNAL AND EGTERNAL FRAME OF REFERENCE
A concep' +ery in'ima'ely connec'ed 'o unders'anding responses is Cin'ernal frame of reference.B To
unders'and 8ha' is Cin'ernal frame of referenceB 8e need 'o kno8 8ha' is Cframe of referenceB and from 'here
8e shall proceed 'o Cin'ernal frame of referenceB and Ce/'ernal frame of reference.B
CA frame of referenceB is a cogni'i+e map< 8hich is a consis'en' +ie8 of oneself in rela'ion 'o oneBs
en+ironmen'< 'ha' is essen'ial for guiding oneBs 0eha+iour. A frame of reference is 0ased on 'he 'hree
assump'ions: 1> reali'y assump'ion< #> possi0ili'y assump'ion< and *> +alue assump'ion. These pro+ide an
indi+idual 8i'h hisHher phenomenal field. This phenomenal field is hisHher Cpersonal frame of referenceB
'hrough 8hich heHshe in'erac's 8i'h 'he 8orld. These 'hree assump'ions are fundamen'al 'o 'he func'ioning
of 'he self-sys'em ;indi+idual>.
This Cframe of referenceB can 0e ei'her Ce/'ernal frame of referenceB or Cin'erna'ional frame of
referenceB ;personal frame of reference>. !o8 le' us consider 8ha' are 'hey.
The clien' as an indi+idual has hisHher o8n 8orld-+ie8 a0ou' himHherself< o'hers and 'he res' of 'he
8orld. )or e/ample< hisHher +ie8 of himHherself is an in'ernal frame of reference. A drunkard 8ho had come
'o a psychia'ric clinic for a de-'o/ifica'ion< and 8hom - happened 'o mee'< 8as lamen'ing 'ha' he drinks 'o
forge' his 8orries and especially 'ha' he has no issue. &+ery drunkard has some lame e/cuses for drinking.
They 0lame o'hers< or 'he si'ua'ions 'ha' cause 'hem 'o drink< and ra'ionaliAe in a 8ay 'ha' 'hey are no'
responsi0le. 7ad 'he pro0lem no' 0een 'here 'hey 8ould no' ha+e 'aken 'o drinking< 'hey say. )or a
drunkard< 'o +ie8 hisHher drinking ha0i' as 'he resul' of 'he 8orries heHshe has< is hisHher in'ernal frame of
reference. Jour 'elling 'he drunkard 'ha' heHshe 'akes 'o drinks and does no' gi+e up 'ha' ha0i' 0ecause
heHshe does no' 8an' 'o< is an e/'ernal frame of reference 'o himHher. -' is your +ie8 'ha' heHshe does no'
77
8an' 'o gi+e i' up< 8hereas hisHher +ie8 is 'ha' heHshe 8an's 'o gi+e i' up 0u' only 'he si'ua'ion someho8
forces himHher 'o drink.
Thus your +ie8 a0ou' himHher forms 'he e/'ernal frame of reference for 'he clien'< and hisHher +ie8
a0ou' himHherself is 'he in'ernal frame of reference. 7ere 8e are no' speaking of 'he o0Eec'i+e fac'< 0u'
ra'her unders'anding 'he su0Eec'i+e fac' of 'he clien'. To ge' in'o 'he shoes of 'he o'her< cra8l in'o hisHher
skin< see 'he 8orld 8i'h hisHher eyes< and 'o feel 'he sensa'ion 8i'h hisHher senses< is unders'anding 'he clien'
in hisHher in'ernal frame of reference. -n'ernal frame of reference may no' 0e 'he correc' pic'ure of 'he
reali'y. A drunkard gi+ing a lame e/cuse is chea'ing himHherself and o'hers. 4u' Cunders'andingB means 'ha'
you unders'and 'he su0Eec'i+e feelings of 'he clien'< and con+ey 'his< so 'ha' 'he clien' feels unders'ood.
%.+ USEFULNESS OF UNDERSTANDING RESPONSES
)or 8ha' issues or concerns one should use an unders'anding response in a counselling process is a
ques'ion 'ha' addresses you.
i. )irs' of all 'he clien' 8an's 'o 0e unders'ood< unders'ood in hisHher in'ernal frame of reference.
People are Eudgemen'al< and see himHher from 'heir poin' of +ie8 only. The clien' 8ho is +ulnera0le
pleads 'o 0e unders'ood. This unders'anding 'ha' 'he clien' 0egs for< can 0e sho8n only 8hen you
pick up 'he feelings of 'he clien'.
ii. Jou 'oo canno' 0e cocksure 8he'her you unders'ood 'he clien' as heHshe is. Jour unders'anding
needs 'o 0e checked 8i'h himHherK and 'he 8ay you do 'ha' is 0y reflec'ing hisHher feeling and seeing
if heHshe confirms or denies i'. -n ei'her case< you are helped 8i'h a feed0ack as 'o your
unders'anding of 'he clien'Bs in'ernal frame of reference.
iii. The clien' speaks a lo'< some'imes 'hings 'ha' are connec'ed< and a' o'her 'imes 'hings 'ha' are no'
rela'ed. -' could 0e also in 'he form of confused s'a'emen's. Jou as 'he second person lis'ening 'o
himHher can nea'ly organiAe 'he 'hough' and feeling of 'he clien'< and presen' 'hem 'o himHher for
fur'her self-e/plora'ion. -f heHshe remains in hisHher confused s'a'e< heHshe 8ill remain in 'he same
s'a'e repea'ing 8ha' heHshe has 0een saying 8i'hou' proceeding fur'her. )or 'his< you need 'o reflec'
'he feeling of 'he clien'. -n a 8ay< you are direc'ing 'he clien' in a focused 8ay.
"e' us summariAe 8ha' 8e ha+e hi'her'o seen. 7ere you a''end and 'he clien' ge's in+ol+ed
and au'oma'ically e/presses himHherself. ?hile heHshe e/presses< you lis'en a''en'i+ely af'er 8hich
you respond reflec'ing ei'her 'he con'en'< or 'he feeling< or 0o'h 'oge'her< and 'hus you ha+e 8ell
prepared a po8er-0ase 'o con'inue counselling on a solid founda'ion< 8i'hou' 8hich 'he counselling
'ha' 8ill ensue 8ill no' 0e 8or'h8hile. Thus 8e can chalk ou' 'he skills of 'he counsellor< and 'he
'asks of 'he counsellee< as follo8s:
C$unsell$r 7 C$unsellee
A''ending -n+ol+ing

"is'ening &/pressing

=esponding &/ploring
/. REFLECT THE CONTENT
Af'er 'he clien' has e/pressed hisHherself< your immedia'e and e+iden' 'ask is 'o respond 'o 'he +ery
con'en' of 'he clien'. 4efore you could respond 'o 'he sophis'ica'ed message in a +ery skilful 8ay< your
72
ma''er-of-fac' repor'ing 'he con'en' is e/pec'ed 0y 'he clien'. ?e differ from one ano'her in our memory
span< as 8ell as our a''en'ion span. Depending upon 'hese '8o 'hings< your reflec'ing can 0e ei'her adequa'e
or inadequa'e. @ne 8ay of reflec'ing 'he message of 'he clien' is 'o repor' 8ord 0y 8ord 8ha' 'he clien' has
said. This is called C+er0a'im repor'.B Though counsellors may 0e 'rained for +er0a'im repor'< i' is no' used
in ac'ual counselling. Training in +er0a'im is 'o help one cap'ure 'he message of 'he clien' comple'ely. 4u'
if you use i' in counselling< 'ha' is< e/ac'ly repea'ing all 'ha' 'he clien' 8as saying< i' 'akes an enormous 'ime<
and 'he clien' himHherself may no' 8an' such a repor'. 4esides< in case of +er0a'im repor'< 'he clien' 8ill 0e
depri+ed of 'he chances of 'alking more. This +er0a'im repor' is also called parro'ing. Parro's repea'
8ha'e+er 'hey hear. -' is a mechanical repe'i'ion 8i'hou' unders'anding 'he meaning. -f 'he clien' 8an's only
'he repe'i'ion of 'he +ery same 'hing< 'hen a 'ape recorder 8ill do 'ha' Eo0 more accura'ely. Jour reflec'ing
should 0e enhanced 0y your skillK in o'her 8ords< you need 'o con'ri0u'e your share 'o 'he clari'y of 'he
message. Therefore 'he idea of paraphrasing comes handy. Paraphrasing is reformula'ing 'he +ery message
of 'he clien' in ne8 8ords 'ha' 8ill e/press 'he gis' of 'he clien'Ms message 8i'hou' dis'or'ing 'he meaning
and 'he feeling 'one. Thus you need 'o 0e prepared 'o respond 'o 'he clien'Ms s'a'emen' 8i'h your
paraphrasing.
7ere cer'ain formulas 'ha' counselling psychologis's use 8ill 0e of help 'o you. Jou can preface
your paraphrasing 8i'h 'he 8ords like: MJou say<B CJou are saying< MJou seem 'o 0e saying<B C)rom 8ha' you
say - unders'andB and MJou are 'rying 'o say.B This is called Cyou sayB formula. 7ere purposely you are using
'he 8ord CyouB 'o make 'he s'a'emen' +ery personal. ?ha' is personal is appealing and makes one feel
unders'ood and 8an'ed.
?hene+er you reflec' 'he con'en'< i' should 0e 'o 'he sa'isfac'ion of 'he clien'. Though no' +er0ally<
a' leas' non+er0ally< clien's appro+e or disappro+e of your paraphrasing. Consider 'he e/ample of
paraphrasing gi+en 0elo8:
Counsellee : - ha+e done 0adly in 'he las' 'hree e/ams< and my assignmen' paper
is no' ready< 'hough - am supposed 'o su0mi' i' 8i'hin four days. -
'ry 'o concen'ra'e on my su0Eec's and assignmen's< 0u' someho8 -
am no' a0le 'o< and - am 'erri0ly dis'rac'ed 8i'h a num0er of
o'her unimpor'an' 8orks 'ha' can ac'ually 0e done la'er.
Counsellor : Jou are saying 'ha' you are una0le 'o concen'ra'e on your
su0Eec's< and in fac' did poorly in your e/ams< and are no' ready
8i'h your assignmen's on accoun' of dis'rac'ions.
7ere 'he counsellor did no' reflec' 'he message +er0a'im< nor did heHshe lea+e ou' any message< and
'here is no dis'or'ing of 'he message. ?ha' heHshe did 8as 'o reformula'e 'he message in fresh 8ords
unders'anda0le 'o 'he clien'. =eflec'ing 'he con'en' should 0ecome qui'e na'ural 'o you< since you 8ill keep
'his 'echnique all 'hrough 'he counselling process.
;. Kinds $( Res'$nses s 'er Eg$7S##es
20
8+ EGO7STATES
The responses of 'he counsellors could also 0e ca'egoriAed or unders'ood from ano'her angle< 'ha' is<
from ego s'a'es. This is from CTransac'ional AnalysisB poin' of +ie8. Transac'ional Analysis ;or TA as i' is
popularly called> is a 'heory of human 0eha+iour 0ased upon Dr. &ric 4erneBs disco+ery 'ha' a person has
'hree se's of 0eha+iour. &ach se' of 0eha+iour is accomplished 0y i's o8n kind of 'hough's< feelings and
ac'ions. 7e named 'hese se's as Paren'< Adul'< and Child and called each one an ego s'a'e.
EGO7STATES
73

%8+ Pren# Eg$ S##e
An ego s'a'e is a se' of consis'en' and coheren' pa''erns of 'hinking< feeling< and 0eha+ing. The
paren' ego s'a'e is a 8ay of 'hinking< ac'ing< feeling< and 0elie+ing similar 'o 'ha' of our paren's. This s'a'e
de+elops during 'he firs' fi+e years or so of life. The Paren' is 0ased upon your 0rainBs recordings of your
real paren's ;or 'hose 8ho 8ere in 'he place of your paren's>. The paren' responds immedia'ely and
au'oma'ically 'o childlike 0eha+iour and 'o +arious si'ua'ions requiring a C'ake chargeB response. The paren'
ego s'a'e can 0e su0di+ided in'o !ur'uring Paren' and Cri'ical Paren'. Nur#uring Pren# suppor's and helps
o'hers 0y reassuring and doing 'hings for 'hem< main'ains 'radi'ions and rules of cul'ure 0y 'eaching<
preaching and gi+ing ad+ice< and pro'ec's 'he 8eak< fearful< and ignoran' 0y s'anding up for 'hem. The
Cri#icl Pren# es'a0lishes rules of conduc' and se's limi's in a commanding 'one of +oice< enforces 'he
rules 0y quo'ing 'hem in a confiden' or demanding 'one of +oice< 'eaches manners and socialiAes 0y
re8arding and punishing< and Eudges 8ho or 8ha' are righ' for self< according 'o 'he admoni'ions and
regula'ions s'ored in 'he memory. 7ence 'he con'en' of 'he paren' ego s'a'e 8ill 0eD all 'ha' has 0een 'augh'
'o you P opinions< fai'h< 0eliefs< cus'oms< manners< morals ;righ' and 8rong>< cul'ure< 'radi'ions<
con'rolling< nur'uring< and pro'ec'ing.
%.+ C!ild Eg$ S##e
The Child &go $'a'e con'ains a personBs 0asic desires and needs< and 'he recordings of 'he feelings and
reac'ions one had as a child. This s'a'e de+elops during 'he same 'ime as 'he Paren'. The child ego s'a'e can
0e su0di+ided in'o !a'ural Child or )ree child and Adap'ed child. The Adap'ed child can 0e again
su0di+ided in'o =e0ellious Child and Complian' Child or @0edien' Child.
The N#url C!ild is uncensored< ap' 'o 0reak con+en'ions and rules< 'o ac' 8i'hou' 'hinking a0ou'
consequences< energe'ic< al8ays mo+ing< e/ploring< doing 'hings< sensuous< al8ays feeling< 'ouching< and
smelling 'hings< crea'i+e< filled 8i'h ne8 ideas and 8ays of doing 'hings< affec'iona'e< ad+en'urous< and fun%
lo+ing.
The Ad'#ed C!ild makes i's response 8hen o'hers are ac'ing like a paren' 'o self. -' is filled 8i'h
feeling in i's response 'o people< o0Eec's< and e+en's.
The C$&'lin# C!ild conforms 'o 'he demands placed on i'. $ome'imes fears people and 'hings
and seeks pro'ec'ion or nur'uring. -' asks for permission and for 8ha' is 'he righ' 'hing 'o do. -' 0elie+es in
magic and feels 'ha' some people ha+e magical po8er o+er self.
The Re"elli$ns C!ild re0els agains' au'hori'y< Cparen'ing<B and rules and regula'ions. $ome'imes i'
procras'ina'es 8hen gi+en direc'ions< orders< or deadlines. There are 'imes 8hen i' 8i'hdra8s< sulks< or
har0ours a grudge 'o8ard people 8ho gi+e orders< make Eudgmen's< and Cparen'.B
%1+ Adul# Eg$ S##e
26
The Adul' par' of 'he personali'y de+elops la'er 'han 'hose of 'he Paren' and 'he Child. According 'o
Dr. 4erne< i' s'ar's a' a0ou' 'en mon'hs of age. -n a heal'hy person< 'he Adul' con'inues 'o de+elop
'hroughou' life. This se's 'he Adul' apar' from 'he Paren' and 'he Child. The Adul' is 'he da'a processor< 'he
scien'ific par' of 'he personali'y. -' processes curren' and o0Eec'i+e informa'ion a0ou' 'he 8orld. -' does '8o
'hings. )irs'< i' is responsi0le for mos' ac'i+i'y and 8ork< such as dri+ing a car< sol+ing a pro0lem< or
learning a skill. $econdly< i' edi's 'he recordings of 'he Paren' and 'he Child 8hen 'hey con'ain inaccura'e
da'a. This is 'he mos' crucial Eo0 0ecause i' is of'en 'hrough 'he Adul' 'ha' a person roo's ou' old 0eliefs<
feelings< and 0eha+iours and replaces 'hem 8i'h ne8< more effec'i+e 8ays of 0eha+ing< feeling< and
0elie+ing 'ha' is o0Eec'i+e in 'he presen'< and for compu'ing and managing ne8 da'a.
The ac'i+i'ies of 'he Adul' &go $'a'e are: -' is 'hough'ful< using 'he logical processes of analysis and
reflec'ion. -' ac's in a con'rolled and measured 8ay 0ased upon considera'ion of 'he fac's. -' ga'hers
informa'ion< sor's i'< s'ores i'< and uses i' 8hen appropria'e and considers al'erna'i+es 0ased upon 'he fac's
0efore deciding. -' sol+es pro0lems in a sys'ema'ic 8ay. -' reac's 'o si'ua'ions primarily in 'he here%and-
no8 ra'her 'han 8i'h old feelings or 0eliefs. -' Eudges af'er considera'ion of al'erna'i+es and consequences.
-' 'hinks a0ou' differen' possi0le fu'ures for self and o'hers. -' up%da'es 0eliefs in 'he Paren' and 'he Child.
-' 'urns off feelings of fear< insecuri'y< and reEec'ion 8hen 'hey are unrealis'ic. -' 0rings 'oge'her 'he 0eliefs<
feelings and responses of 'he Paren' and 'he Child. -' is in a 8ay crea'i+e< seeking ne8 8ays 'o see and
in'erpre' 'hings and e+en's.
.+ RESPONSES FROM EGO STATES
28
7a+ing kno8n 'he s'ruc'ure and func'ions of 'he +arious ego s'a'es< i' 8ould 0e 8or'h8hile 'o
consider 'he responses of 'he counsellor from 'he poin' of +ie8 of ego s'a'es< 'o iden'ify from 8hich ego s'a'e
'he responses proceed. All 'ha' 8e speak proceeds from a par'icular ego s'a'e a' a gi+en 'ime. -f 'he
counsellor is a0le 'o unders'and from 8hich ego s'a'e heHshe is speaking< 'hen heHshe can adEus' and direc'
'he response from ano'her ego s'a'e if required depending upon 'he condi'ion of 'he counsellee. -f for
e/ample< a counsellee is speaking from hisHher child ego s'a'e asking for permission< 'hen 'he counsellorBs
response has 'o 0e from 'he paren' ego s'a'e ;nur'uring>. -f 'he counsellee is speaking from hisHher child ego
s'a'e indica'ing fun and frolic< 'hen 'he counsellor is e/pec'ed 'o respond from hisHher child ego s'a'e. -f 'he
counsellee is speaking from hisHher adul' ego s'a'e< 'hen 'he counsellor should respond from hisHher adul' ego
s'a'e. The ideal 8ould 0e 'ha' e+en'ually 8e facili'a'e 'he counsellee 'o mo+e 'o hisHher adul' ego s'a'e so
'ha' heHshe is a0le 'o see hisHher condi'ion o0Eec'i+ely and 'ake appropria'e s'eps.
-n shor'< a' a 'ime 'he clien' speaks from one par'icular ego s'a'e and 'he counsellor responds from a
par'icular ego s'a'e. -f 'he communica'ion 8ere 'o flo8< 'hen 'he counsellor has 'o shif' making responses
from one ego s'a'e 'o ano'her so 'ha' i' is appropria'e 'o 'he ego s'a'es of 'he clien'. 7ence 'he impor'ance of
'he kno8ledge of 'he ego s'a'es and 'he 'ype of responses 'ha' 8ill proceed from 'hem. !o8 le' us consider
+arious 'ypes of responses ;a' leas' fi+e> arising from differen' ego s'a'es of 'he counsellor 'o 'he one and 'he
same s'a'emen' of 'he counsellee. $ince 'he 'one of +oice and ges'ures canno' 0e seen in a response made on
'he paper< 'he assigning of 'he responses 'o par'icular ego s'a'es 8ill 0e a guess 8ork mos'ly depending upon
'he 8ords.
Counsellor Counsellee
21
Counsellee D @h< - am e/haus'ed 8i'h all 'he household chores. ;7ere 'he clien' is addressing from
hisHher Child &go $'a'e>.
Counsellor : Come on< ha+e a cup of 'ea and rela/ a 8hile.
;7ere 'he counsellor is addressing from hisHher !ur'uring Paren'>.
Counsellor : ?ha' kind of 8ork do you ha+e a' home 'ha' e/haus's you so muchL
;-' is an Adul' response< since heHshe is asking for informa'ion>.
Counsellor : Jou should kno8 ho8 'o 'ake care of yourself. Jou are +ery foolish 'o
do all 'he 8orks a' a s're'ch.
;-' is a response from 'he Cri'ical Paren'>.
Counsellor D A' leas' no8 you are free 'o do 8ha' you 8an'.
;-' is a response from 'he )ree or !a'ural Child>.
2#
Counsellor : Do you 'hink 'ha' you only did so much 8ork K see 'he 'hings 'ha' - ha+e 0een
doing 'he 8hole morning.
;-' is a response from 'he sulking Adap'ed Child>.
The a0o+e e/amples illus'ra'e 'he fac' 'ha' a counsellor can respond a' leas' from fi+e ego
s'a'es 'o 'he same si'ua'ion. !o' all 'he fi+e 8ays of responding 8ill 0e useful a' 'he same 'ime< 0u'
'hey 8ill 0e useful a' +arious 'imes depending upon 'he counsellee. Therefore a Eudiciary use of 'he
responses is 'he 'ask of 'he counsellor.
-. RESPONSES 6IE9ED FROM EISPU AND EGO STATES
?e ha+e seen separa'ely ho8 one can make responses from 'he poin' of +ie8 of &-$PF and
&go $'a'es. !o8 8e shall endea+our 'o iden'ify one and 'he same response from &-$PF and &go
$'a'es.
Counsellee : - am a 8reck. - smoke a' leas' #6 cigare''es a day. -' is de0ili'a'ing my heal'h and - am
una0le 'o con'rol myself in 'his regard.
;7ere 'he clien' is addressing from his Adul' &go $'a'e>.
Counsellor : Jou feel helpless 8i'h regard 'o your smoking ha0i'.
;-' is an Fnders'anding =esponse from 'he !ur'uring Paren'>.
2*
Counsellor : Mos' men usually smoke. -' is no' uncommon no8adays. Jou need no' 0e 'oo much
alarmed a0ou' i'. There are cer'ainly 8ays 'o o+ercome such a ha0i'.
;-' is a $uppor'i+e =esponse from 'he !ur'uring paren'>.
Counsellor : -f you smoke like 'his< do you 'hink you 8ill li+e longerL
;-' is an &+alua'i+e =esponse from 'he Cri'ical Paren'>.
Counsellor : Jou say you are una0le 'o con'rol your smoking ha0i'. Perhaps you ha+e 0ecome
addic'ed 'o smoking.
;-' is an -n'erpre'a'i+e =esponse from 'he Adul' &go $'a'e>.
2,
Counsellor : Tell me ho8 long you are ha+ing 'his ha0i'.
;-' is a Pro0ing =esponse from 'he Adul' &go $'a'e.>
Counsellor : 5o8< you seem 'o 0e enEoying life.
;-' is an &+alua'i+e =esponse from 'he )ree Child>.

Counsellor : - donB' kno8 8ha' is 'he pro0lem in smoking and - 8onB'
0e a0le 'o help you any8ay.;-' is an &+alua'i+e =esponse
from 'he Adap'ed Child.>
<. RESPONSES SEEN AS TRANSACTIONS
2.
?e ha+e already seen ho8 'he responses do proceed from par'icular ego s'a'es. ?ha'e+er 'he clien'
says or e/presses comes from one of hisHher par'icular ego s'a'es< and in 'he same 8ay 8ha' you respond
also proceeds from a par'icular ego s'a'e of yours. -' is no' only enough 'o kno8 from 8hich ego s'a'es
yours and 'hose of 'he clien'Bs responses proceed 0u' i' is much more impor'an' from 8hich ego s'a'es
your responses are 'o proceed so 'ha' your responses are facili'a'i+e. &ric 4erne has a 8hole range of
Transac'ional Analysis in 'his regard< 8hich is in place for our considera'ion.
8+ C$&'le&en#r* Trnsc#i$ns
?e 'alk 'o someone and feel 8e are unders'ood 'hen i' is a complemen'ary 'ransac'ion. -f you
e/press some'hing from a par'icular ego s'a'e< for e/ample adul' ego s'a'e and you direc' 'his message 'o
'he adul' ego s'a'e of 'he o'her person and 8hen you recei+e a reply from 'he adul' ego s'a'e of 'he o'her
2.
person addressed 'o your adul' ego s'a'e 'hen i' is a complemen'ary 'ransac'ion. The complemen'ary
'ransac'ions 'ha' are con+en'ionally used are :
1.
Paren' 'o Paren' ;1> : $ee 'he 8ay 'he young girls dress no8adays O
Paren' 'o Paren' ;#> : -' is no' 'he 8ay 8e 8ere 'augh' 8hen 8e 8ere young.
#.
Adul' 'o Adul' ;1> : ?here is 'he 9o+ernmen' 7ospi'al L
Adul' 'o Adul' ;#> : 9o s'raigh' and 'urn 'o 'he firs' cu' on 'he lef' and a' 'he end you 8ill
find 'he sign 0oard.
*.
Child 'o Child ;1> : ?hy no' go for a mo+ie L
Child 'o Child ;#> : -n fac' - 8as looking for a companion.
,.
21
1
#
1
#
1
#
Paren' 'o Child ;1> : ?hy donB' you pay a''en'ion 'o your home8orkL
Child 'o Paren' ;#> : - shall 'ry 'o do i' 8ell< $ir.
..
Child 'o Paren' ;1> : ?ill you please find 'he meaning for 'he 8ord Cperse+ereLB
Paren' 'o Child ;#> : @f course< - shall cer'ainly do i' for you< my child.
.+ Cr$ssed Trnsc#i$n D
Jou 'alk 'o someone and recei+e a reply 8hich is cu''ing< and af'er 8hich you do no' feel
like con'inuing your con+ersa'ion. Jou feel misunders'ood or surprised. This is called a crossed
'ransac'ion. -n a crossed 'ransac'ion you address your message< for e/ample< from your Adul' 'o 'he
Adul' of 'he clien' and you recei+e a reply from any ego s'a'e o'her 'han 'he adul' ego s'a'e of 'he clien'.
-' could 0e ei'her from Paren' 'o Child or Child 'o Paren'. The crossed 'ransac'ions 'ha' are normally used
in con+ersa'ions are :
8.

27
1
#
1
#
1
#
Paren' 'o Paren' ;1> : $ee ho8 her children are roaming a0ou' in 'he s'ree'.
Paren' 'o Child ;#> : - donB' 'hink your children are much 0e''er.
@=
Paren' 'o Paren' ;1> D $ee ho8 her children are roaming a0ou' in 'he s'ree'.
Child 'o Paren' ;*> D ?ha' is 8rong in 'ha' L ;-n a re0ellious 'one>.
#.
Adul' 'o Adul' ;1> : ?ha' is 'he 'ime no8 L
Paren' 'o Child ;#> : ?hy donB' you use your 8a'ch L
@=
Adul' 'o Adul' ;1> : ?ha' is 'he 'ime no8 L
Child 'o Paren' ;*> : The 8hole 'ime you pes'er me asking for 'ime.
*.
Child 'o Child ;1> : "e' us ha+e some ice cream 'oday.
22
1
#
1
*
#
1
1
*
Child 'o Paren' ;#> : My mo'her doesnB' like me ea'ing ice cream.
@=
Child 'o Child ;1> : "e' us ha+e some ice cream 'oday.
Paren' 'o Child ;*> : ?ho 8ill ea' ice cream during 'he rainy season L
,.
Paren' 'o Child ;1> : "illy< fe'ch me some 8a'er 'o drink.
Paren' 'o Child ;#> : Jou are 0ecoming laAy< fe'ch i' for yourself.
@=
Paren' 'o Child ;1> : "illy< fe'ch me some 8a'er 'o drink.
Child 'o Paren' ;*> : - am 'ired and - canB'.
1+ Ul#eri$r Trnsc#i$n D
23
# 1
*
1
1
*
$ome'imes you say some'hing openlyK ho8e+er< 0y your 0ody language and 'one of +oice you mean
some'hing else< and you ge' a secre' message 0ack. -' is called ul'erior 'ransac'ion. $ocially you are
speaking from one ego s'a'e addressing a par'icular ego s'a'e of ano'her< and you openly ge' a reply from
'he e/pec'ed ego s'a'e< 0u' 'he psychological message has 0een sen' from your ano'her ego s'a'e and so
you ge' a reply from ano'her ego s'a'e of 'he o'her person.
A sales clerk e/hi0i'ing a piece of clo'h says D
Adul' 'o Adul' ;Apparen'> : -' is 'oo e/pensi+e.
Child 'o Child ;7idden> : -f you are really rich< you 8ould 0uy i'.
-' is an Adul' Transac'ion openly 0u' psychologically heHshe is speaking from hisHher Child 'o a''rac'
'he Child in you and 0oos' up your image.
A girl addressing a 0oy says :
Adul' 'o Adul' ;Apparen'> : - am all alone a' home 'his e+ening.
Child 'o Child ;7idden> : Come< le' us ha+e some fun.
?ha' is e+iden' is Adul' 'o Adul' 'ransac'ion< 0u' 'he Child 'o Child 'ransac'ion is ul'erior or hidden.
?hen 'ransac'ions are complemen'ary< communica'ion remains open. ?hen 'ransac'ions are
crossed< communion ceases. ?hen in 'he ul'erior< 'he ou'come is predic'a0le only a' 'he psychological le+el.
-n counselling< only 'he complemen'ary 'ransac'ions are helpful< 'he crossed ones may no' 0e helpful< and 'he
ul'erior 'ransac'ions 8ill confuse 'he clien'. Fl'erior 'ransac'ions are par' of psychological game. As far as
possi0le< keep 'he 'ransac'ions complemen'ary.
4eginners usually 8orry a0ou' 'he 'ype of responses 'hey are making. This concern is really helpful
for 'he one 8ho is concerned a0ou' 'he accuracy and appropria'eness of 'he responses and heHshe 8ill 'ake
'he necessary s'eps 'o mas'er 'he skill. -n 'he 0eginning you are no' going 'o 0e +ery accura'e. &+ery0ody
36
learns 'he hard 8ay and 'hrough 'rial and error. -f your responses are no' helpful< 'hen you ge' a feed0ack as
'o 'he effec'i+eness of your responses and 'hen you can impro+e your fu'ure responses. @n 'he a+erage< 8ha'
'ype of responses you ha+e made 8ill indica'e 'o some e/'en' your effec'i+eness. The counsellors 8ho make
a good num0er of unders'anding responses usually succeed in helping 'he clien' help 'hemsel+es.
Fnders'anding responses au'oma'ically do no' lead 'he clien' 'o solu'ion of 'he pro0lem. 4u' i' is a' leas' half
8ay 'hrough< for< 'he clien' is confiden' 8i'h 'he feeling of 0eing unders'ood. The counsellors 8ho are no'
making sufficien' num0er of unders'anding responses may 0e ha+ing difficul'y in unders'anding< or a' leas'
'hey ha+e failed 'o e/press 'heir unders'anding of 'he clien'Bs 'hough's and feelings. -n making
unders'anding responses you are no' likely 'o 0e misunders'ood 0y 'he clien'.
The responses you make are only a means in 'he counselling process. Jour real concern should 0e
'he clien'. A' 'imes counsellors cling 'o such formulae and me'hods 'ha' 'hey easily miss 'he clien'. ?ha'
does i' ma''er 8ha' me'hod one employs pro+ided 'he clien' is facili'a'ed. A' 'he same 'ime 'his does no'
'ake a8ay oneBs responsi0ili'y 'o go in a focused 8ay 8i'h skills 8hich are mos'ly accep'ed as helpful<
unless 'he si'ua'ion 8arran's some'hing differen'.
"e' 'here 0e your o8n s'amp in e+ery'hing you do. Jou can ne+er 0e ano'her person
me'aphysically. &/press yourself in your o8n unique 8ay and feel happy a0ou' i'. -mi'a'ing o'hers
is good 0u' 'he imi'a'ion should no' 0e mere mimicking< 0u' an e/ercise of an in'ernalised se' of
skills. - ha+e kno8n persons 8i'hou' any formal 'raining in counselling doing real and effec'i+e
counselling 0ecause 'he persons 8ere 'rying 'o 0e 'hemsel+es ra'her 'han 0eing some0ody else.
4. SPACING RESPONSES
Jour responding is essen'ial< 0u' no' so fas' 'ha' 'he clien' has no' fully comple'ed e/pressing
himHherself. -' is 8ise 'o pause for a frac'ion of a second af'er 'he clien' has spoken< les' 'he clien' should
desire 'o 'alk more. -f you are 'oo fas'< 'he clien' has 'o suppress 8ha' heHshe 8an's 'o say fully. -n 'he
0eginning< your responding could 0e paced according 'o 'he speed of 'he clien'Bs con+ersa'ionK la'er perhaps
you could lead 'he clien'< in 8hich case you could 0e quicker in respondingK and a' all 'imes you should
make sure 'ha' 'he clien' has fully e/pressed himHherself 0efore you respond. !o' fully 8ai'ing for 'he o'hers
'o comple'e 'he sen'ence is a common mis'ake commi''ed 0y mos' of us. Too hurried a response con+eys 'o
'he clien' 'he message 'ha' you did no' lis'en 'o himHher properly. -' is good 'o remem0er 'ha' 8hene+er 'he
clien' speaks< you should immedia'ely fall silen'< e+en if you are half 8ay 'hrough your responding or
enquiring. Jou 8ill find 'his +ery re8arding in your counselling sessions or e+en o'her8ise in any
con+ersa'ion 8hen o'hers speak.
3*

31
-
Re(lec# #!e (eeling $( #!e clien# using #!e ($r&ul ?:$u (eelJ."ecuseJ..>
8. FEELING , EMOTION
?e generally do no' make 'he fine dis'inc'ion 0e'8een feeling and emo'ion. Fsually a
layman 8ill iden'ify CfeelingB 8i'h Cemo'ion.B -n our popular parlance also i' is so. 4u' scien'ifically 'hey are
differen'. -n fac'< feeling is par' of emo'ion and no' 'he 8hole of emo'ion. "e' us consider 'his in de'ail.
There are many defini'ions of feeling and emo'ion. 7o8e+er< - am res'ric'ing myself 'o 'he descrip'ion of
feelingHemo'ion 0y Aaron 4en-DeBe+. Therefore< 'his is no' 'he only e/plana'ion nor 'he e/haus'i+e one.
3,

&mo'ion is a comple/ s'a'e of 'he organism< in+ol+ing 0odily changes of a 8idespread charac'er % in
0rea'hing< pulse< and gland secre'ion % and< on 'he men'al side< a s'a'e of e/ci'emen' or per'ur0a'ion< marked
0y s'rong feeling< and usually an impulse 'o8ards a defini'e form of 0eha+iour. -f 'he emo'ion is in'ense
'here is some dis'ur0ance of 'he in'ellec'ual func'ions< a measure of dissocia'ion< and a 'endency 'o8ards
ac'ion of an ungraded or pro'opa'hic charac'er. An emo'ion is e/perienced as a feeling 'ha' mo'i+a'es<
organiAes< and guides percep'ion< 'hough'< and ac'ion.
4y 'he 'erm Cemo'ionB 8e mean a class of elici'ors< 0eha+iours< s'a'es< and e/periences. Change of
highly personal significance causes emo'ions. 7o' emo'ions ha+e four charac'eris'ics namely 1. high
ins'a0ili'y< #. grea' in'ensi'y< *. a par'ial perspec'i+e< and ,. rela'i+e 0re+i'y. They mean:
;1> ?hen people are in 'he grip of an emo'ion< 'hey are in a 'ransi'ion in 8hich 'he preceding con'e/'
has changed< 0u' no ne8 con'e/' has ye' 0een s'a0iliAed. Thus 'here is ins'a0ili'y.
3#
;#> @ne of 'he 0asic e+olu'ionary func'ions of emo'ions is 'ha' of immedia'e mo0iliAa'ion of
resources for 8hich a grea' in'ensi'y of emo'ion is required. &mo'ions usually impel people 'o ac'ion and
'hus 0y na'ure emo'ions are gi+en grea' in'ensi'y in order 'o mo0iliAe all a+aila0le resources.
;*> @ur emo'ions are focused on one or a fe8 persons. &mo'ions are par'ial since our a''en'ion is
focused on a narro8 'arge' or 'hey e/press a personal and in'eres'ed perspec'i+e.
;,> The 'ypical 'emporal s'ruc'ure of emo'ions in+ol+es a s8if' rise-'ime< 'aking less 'han half minu'e
in mos' cases< follo8ed 0y a rela'i+ely slo8 decline. Typically emo'ion 'akes place 8i'hin appro/ima'ely
half a second 'o four seconds.
!o8 le' us see 'he componen's of emo'ions. The 0asic componen's of emo'ion are in'en'ionali'y
;8hich is unders'ood 0y i's su0di+isions 1. cogni'ion< #. e+alua'ion< and *. mo'i+a'ion>< and feeling. Thus
8e ha+e four componen's of emo'ion namely cogni'ion< e+alua'ion< mo'i+a'ion and feeling.
?hereas in'en'ionali'y refers 'o a su0Eec'-o0Eec' rela'ion< feeling refers 'o 'he su0Eec'Bs o8n s'a'e of
mind. )or e/ample< 8hen you encoun'er a 'hief a' nigh'< you are afraid< 8hich is a feeling dimensionK 'he
kno8ledge of 'he 'hief ;cogni'ion>< 'he e+alua'ion of 'he a''ri0u'es of 'he 'hief 'ha' he 8ould 0e harmful
;e+alua'i+e> and 'he desire 'o run a8ay ;mo'i+a'ional> go along 8i'h 'he feeling dimension.
Thus< feeling is one of 'he 0asic componen's of emo'ion. Therefore< feeling and emo'ion are no'
iden'ical. Je' in ordinary use< 8e unders'and 'hem as one. -n 'his 0ook 8e use 'he 8ords CfeelingB and
Cemo'ionB in'erchangea0ly.
The 8ord CfeelingB 8as firs' used in 'he &nglish language 'o descri0e 'he physical sensa'ion of 'ouch
;kinaes'he'ic e/perience> ei'her 'hrough e/perience or percep'ion. -' can also indica'e physical sensa'ion
apar' from 'ouch like Ca feeling of 8arm'h.B As 8e ha+e seen a0o+e< in psychology< i' is usually used 'o refer
'o 'he conscious su0Eec'i+e e/perience of emo'ion. Many psycho'herapy schools insis' 'ha' 'he 'herapis's
achie+e some kind of unders'anding of 'he clien'Bs feelings. Thus< our counselling process 'oo s'rongly
recommends 'ha' 8e elici' 'he feeling of 'he clien'< make 'he clien' a8are of i' and e/press i' e/'ernally.
3.

Counsellee : )or some 'en years 8e are li+ing in 'his ci'y. - had a reasona0ly
good heal'h and a decen' Eo0. During 'he las' si/ mon'hs my heal'h has de'eriora'ed
8i'h acu'e s'omach-ache 'ha' does no' respond 'o any 'rea'men'. )or 'he las' '8o
mon'hs< - ha+e no' gone 'o my Eo0 on accoun' of my heal'h pro0lem. )inancially< -
ha+e spen' e+ery'hing - had for my 'rea'men'< and no8 my 8hole family is s'ar+ing.
Counsellor : Jou feel helpless 8i'h your de'eriora'ing physical condi'ion and
your ina0ili'y 'o look af'er your family.
7ere 'he counsellor has firs' of all picked up 'he feeling of 'he clien' and connec'ed i' 8i'h 'he
con'en'. -' is a fur'her s'ep in your responding. The firs' s'ep is 'o paraphrase and reflec' 'he con'en'< and 'he
second s'ep is 'o find ou' 'he feeling< and e/press i' along 8i'h 'he con'en'. ?hene+er you e/press 'he
feeling you 8ill communica'e i' along 8i'h 'he con'en'< 0ecause con'en' gi+es meaning 'o 'he feeling< and
feeling alone 8ill no' make sense. ?ha' made 'he clien' feel 'he 8ay heHshe feels is e/plained 0y 'he
con'en'. The con'en' 8ill 0e s'erile 8i'hou' 'he feeling. 7ence a reflec'ion of 0o'h 'he con'en' and 'he
feeling is required.
The formula one uses in e/pressing 'he feeling along 8i'h 'he con'en' is like 'his: QJou
feelRRR.0ecause RRRR.Q CJou feelB is follo8ed 0y 'he feeling 8ord< and C0ecauseB is follo8ed 0y 'he
con'en'< 8hich is 'he reason for 'he clien' 'o ha+e 'he par'icular feeling heHshe is e/periencing.
5ery many 'imes 'he feelings of 'he clien' may no' 0e e+iden' from 'he +er0al narra'ion of 'he clien'.
-n such cases< 'he counsellor 8ill ha+e 'o rely on 'he 0ody language of 'he clien'. )or e/ample< 8hile
narra'ing an inciden'< 'he clien' is full of 'ears in hisHher eyes. 7eHshe migh' no' ha+e e/pressed any 8ord
3*
a0ou' hisHher feelings. -n such a si'ua'ion< you kno8 for cer'ain 'ha' heHshe is sad a0ou' 'he inciden'. A'
'imes 0o'h 'he +er0al and 'he non+er0al e/pressions may no' e+iden'ly speak of 'he feelingK or you are a' a
loss 'o iden'ify 'he feeling of 'he clien'. Then< imagine yourself in 'he si'ua'ion of 'he clien'< and see 8ha'
you 8ould 0e feeling if you 8ere heHshe. -' is seeing 'he si'ua'ion from 'he clien'Ms poin' of +ie8. $'ill if you
find i' difficul' 'o 'race 'he feeling< 'hen plainly pu' a ques'ion 'o 'he clien'< asking himHher 8ha' she is
feeling 8hile she is narra'ing 'he inciden'. -' is likely 'ha' 'he clien's are no' familiar 8i'h feeling 8ords.
?hene+er you ask for 'he feeling< 'hey 8ill 'ell you 8ha' 'hey are 'hinking. They e/press 'heir 'hough's
ra'her 'han 'he feelings. They could 0e coached 'o name 'heir feeling.
?i'h regard 'o feelings< 'hey can 0e unders'ood in 'erms of families and in'ensi'ies. There are four
maEor families of feelings. They are gladness< sadness< madness and sacredness. $ome psychologis's
ca'egoriAe 'hem in'o more 'han four 'ypes. -n one and 'he same family of feelings< 8e ha+e differen' le+els
of in'ensi'y. A feeling can 0e fel' 8eak< like saying 'ha' one is Csa'isfied.B -f 'he le+el of sa'isfac'ion
increases< one 8ill say Ccheerful.B This is some8ha' a medium le+el of in'ensi'y. -f 'he sa'isfac'ion reaches
i's highes' le+el of in'ensi'y< one 8ill say Ce/ci'ed.B $ome'imes 8e can ha+e in'erchangea0le feeling 8ords
like ChappyB and CEoyful.B These '8o 8ords e/press iden'ical e/periences. )or an in'erchangea0le feeling
8ord< you need 'o find ou' a feeling 8ord in 'he same family 8i'h 'he same in'ensi'y. )or e/ample<
ChopelessB and C0adB 0elongs 'o 'he same family 0u' 8i'h differen' in'ensi'ies. Jou canno' su0s'i'u'e 'he 8ord
ChopelessB 8i'h 'he 8ord C0ad.B Jou may su0s'i'u'e ChopelessB 8i'h Cdespairing<B 0ecause 'hey are
in'erchangea0le. They 0elong 'o 'he same family 8i'h 'he same in'ensi'y of feeling.
?hile picking up 'he feeling< you need 'o name 'he correc' family of feeling and also 'he e/ac'
in'ensi'y of 'he feeling. -f 'he clien' himHherself has pro+ided you 8i'h a feeling 8ord< 'hen you could use an
in'erchangea0le 0e''er feeling 8ord 'ha' 8ould cap'ure 'he feeling more accura'ely. This is your con'ri0u'ion
'o 'he e/pression and clarifica'ion of 'he feeling of 'he clien'.
31
.. THE FEELINGS CHART
7ere 0elo8 is a feelings char'.
37
$ome of 'he feelings are ca'egoriAed according 'o 'heir in'ensi'ies as
high< medium< and lo8. $ome'imes 'he in'ensi'y of any feeling 8ord depends upon 'he person 8i'h 8hom i'
is used. Therefore< 'he counsellor may need 'o +isualiAe 'he 'ypical counsellee 8i'h 8hom heHshe is 8orking
in order 'o unders'and 'he in'ensi'y.
Le@el $(
In#ensi#*
C#eg$ries $( Feelings
Hig!
H''* Sd Angr* Scred C$n(used S#r$ng 9eB
ela'ed hur' superior fearful 0e8ildered po'en' o+er8helmed
o+erEoyed hopeless furious panicky 'rapped super impo'en'
proud sorro8ful see'hing afraid 'rou0led po8erful small
'oge'her depressed enraged dis'raugh' 'ornHspli' 'rus'ing useless
comple'e reEec'ed +ic'imiAed misera0le disorganiAed compe'en' incapa0le
freeHEoy un8an'ed drained frigh'ened mi/ed-up energe'ic insecure
grief Eealous 'hrea'ened foggy confiden' inferior
Mediu&
cheerful ashamed remorseful insecure disorien'ed capa0le defensi+e
up upse' annoyed uneasy uncer'ain a''rac'ed shaky
good dis'ressed frus'ra'ed +ery
s'rained
di+ided sure unsure
hopeful do8n agi'a'ed shy donB' kno8
8here
secure sof'
peaceful defea'ed 'ense 'imid 'o s'and dura0le shy
lo+ing 0ea'en s'rained unsure 0o'hered safe
glad lonely fed-up ner+ous uncomfor'a0le
con'en' sorry up'igh' s'rained undecided
sa'isfied los' dismayed reluc'an' 'ired
posi'i+e 0ad pu' ou'
relie+ed guil'y ner+ous
8arm inside em0arrassed incon+enienced
3,
L$A
feel safe disappoin'ed 'ired of
feel secure inferior pu' upon
accep'ed repulsed repulsed
affec'iona'e remorse compe'i'i+e
a sense of
0elonging
frigh'ened
respec'ed defensi+e
aggressi+e
suspicious
)or a keen lis'ener and o0ser+er< 'he feeling 8ords are no' missing. The dominan' feeling 8ord 8ill
come up e+ery no8 and 'hen during 'he con+ersa'ion. All 'he maEor feelings are 'o 0e reflec'ed in
counselling. - ha+e o0ser+ed in counselling skills prac'ice 'ha' 8hen 'he clien'Ms of'en repea'ed feeling 8ord
is no' picked up 0y 'he counsellor and reflec'ed< 'he clien' keeps 0ringing i' up e+ery no8 and 'hen< 0ecause
heHshe 8ill find sa'isfac'ion only 8hen 'he uppermos' feeling is deal' 8i'h and 'aken care of.
<
-' is easier 'o find 'he uppermos' feeling 'ha' is o0+ious ei'her 'o 'he counsellor< or 'o 0o'h 'he
counsellor and 'he counsellee. Perhaps 8ha' is more difficul' is 'he underlying feeling or 'he deeper feeling.
-f you are sa'isfied 8i'h dealing only 8i'h 'he surface feeling< 'hen 'he clien' may no' feel +ery much
relie+edK you also need 'o search for any'hing lurking undernea'h. -f 'here is any< you need 'o 0ring i' up 'o
'he surface 'o 0e kno8n and accep'ed 0y 'he clien'. )or e/ample< a person o+erly cri'iciAing a colleague of
hers for her lack of sound morali'y< may 0e feeling Eealous of her for 'he many 0oyfriends she is enEoying.
The reprimand 'ha' comes in 'he name of feeling responsi0le for her colleague is in reali'y 'he feeling of
Eealousy. A 8ord of cau'ion is required here. The clien' may no' 0e ready 'o accep' 'he deeper feeling< in
8hich case i' is pruden' no' 'o go for i' un'il 'he clien' is ready. ?hene+er a realiAa'ion of a nega'i+e na'ure
comes upon us< 8e ins'inc'i+ely deny i'. )or ins'ance< if - am diagnosed as ha+ing a dreadful sickness 0y
medical e/amina'ions< my firs' reac'ion 'o such a ne8s is 'o deny 'he e/is'ence of 'ha' a8ful sickness< saying
'ha' 'he medical 'es's 8ere no' accura'e< and 'he doc'or did no' kno8 'o diagnose properly. Jou can e/pec'
'his kind of reac'ion from clien's 8hen you 0ring home 'he e/is'ence of a feeling of a disagreea0le na'ure. -n
group 'herapies< - ha+e o0ser+ed 'ha' 8hen 'he facili'a'or 0rings 'o 'he a8areness of a par'icipan' some
hidden mo'i+e< 'he par'icipan' denies i' +ehemen'ly. The quickness 8i'h 8hich heHshe denies< and 'he
+ehemence heHshe uses< are indica'ions 'ha' 8ha' heHshe denies is 'rue of himHher. -n fac'< surfacing a
su0merged feeling is a skill a0ou' 8hich 8e 8ill speak in grea' de'ail in 'he s'ep on =eframing. $uffice i'
no8 'o men'ion a0ou' 'he 'ask of 'he counsellor 'o deal 8i'h 'he su0merged feeling if 'here is any.
As a general rule< you 8ill reflec' 'he con'en' firs' and 8ai' for 'he feeling 8ord< using 'he Cyou sayB
formula. ?hen 'he clien' is ready for 'he a8areness and accep'ance of 'he feeling< you 8ill reflec' 'he
feeling using an in'erchangea0le feeling 8ord 8i'h 'he same le+el of in'ensi'y 8i'h 'he formula Cyou feel
R..0ecauseR..B :us' 0ecause such an a8areness is 'hrea'ening 'o 'he clien'< 'he clien' may a+oid facing a
3.
realiAa'ion of 'he feeling< in 8hich case you shall fall 0ack on 'he pre+ious s'ep of reflec'ing 'he con'en' only<
un'il such 'ime 'ha' 'he clien' is ready. ?hen 'he clien' is readily accep'ing 'he feeling< 'hen see if 'here is
any deeper feeling< and 0ring i' up 'o 'he surface 0y reflec'ing i'. This 'oo may 0e dis'ur0ing 'o 'he clien'< in
8hich case fall 0ack on 'he s'ep of reflec'ing 'he con'en' and surface feeling only using 'he formula Cyou feel
R. 0ecauseR.B ?hen 'he clien' has 0een prepared 'o face 'he hidden feeling< 'hen a''emp' 'o 0ring i' 'o 'he
no'ice of 'he clien' using 'en'a'i+e s'a'emen's 8hich are leads< since you are no' sure a0ou' 'he deeper
feeling. 4y 0eing 'en'a'i+e< you gi+e ample room for 'he clien' ei'her 'o confirm or 'o deny 'he e/is'ence of
such a feeling.
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LEADS M MANNER OF COMMUNICATING RESPONSES
&+ery person is so unique and hisHher e/perience< 'he su0Eec'i+e unders'anding of 'he reali'y is also
unique. Psychologis's speak of in'ernal frame of reference or personal frame of reference. -' refers 'o 'he
8ay one looks a' reali'y. -' is a dis'inc'i+e 8ay of looking a' reali'y. 7ere 'he sure'y 8e ha+e a0ou' ha+ing
unders'ood 'he clien' +aries depending upon many fac'ors. Therefore< i' is safe 'o consider all our
Eudgemen's as 'en'a'i+e and no' as final 8i'h regard 'o i's accuracy. Therefore< ho8 8ise i' is 'o 0e hum0le
enough 'o 0e +ery 'en'a'i+e in proposing or reflec'ing 'o 'he clien'. -f your unders'anding of 'he clien' is
accep'ed 0y 'he clien' as accura'e< 8ell and good< and if no'< you could al8ays modify i' 'o 'he sa'isfac'ion of
'he clien'. There are 'imes 8hen you 'rus' 'ha' your percep'ions are correc' and in such circums'ances you
can s'ar' 'he responses as CJou feel.......B< C ?ha' - hear you saying.......B< C Jou mean......B< C Jou 'hink....... C
e'c. Jou could use such leads 'o respond 'o 'he clien'.
?hen you are no' pre''y sure a0ou' your percep'ion< 'hen you need 'o 0e open-minded and cau'ious
in appraising and e/pressing. Perhaps you could use such leads as 'he follo8ing : CCould i' 0e 'ha'....B<
CPerhaps you are feeling.....B< C- guess 'ha' you are.....B< CJou appear 'o 0e feeling.....B< Cho8 does i' sound if -
say 'ha' you are feeling.....B< CMy hunch is 'ha' you are e/periencing.....B< C- ha+e an inkling 'ha'.....B< C-
someho8 sense.....B< CJou seem.....B C- am 8ondering if i' is R.8ha' you are e/periencing.B $uch leads are
useful 8hen you are no' qui'e sure a0ou' your percep'ions.
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4
ALLO9 THE CLIENT TO SPEAK SUFFICIENTL: ON
THE FEELING
-n 'his chap'er or s'ep - 8ould like 'o underline Eus' one idea< an idea mos' impor'an' for 'he success
of 'he counselling and for 'he 8elfare of 'he clien'. -' is dealing sufficien'ly 8i'h 'he feeling 'o 'he
sa'isfac'ion of 'he clien'.
@ne of 'he mis'akes 0eginners make is 'o rush 'hrough 'he counselling process. &specially 8hen i' is
'he ques'ion of dealing 8i'h 'he feeling a' leng'h< 'he counsellors hurry up< may 0e due 'o 'he 8an' of 'he
skill of 0eing comfor'a0le 8i'h dealing 8i'h persons 8ho are emo'ing. ?hen 'he counselling skills prac'ice
s'ar's< - 8ould ha+e 'old 'he counsellor 'rainee 'ha' heHshe should af'er reflec'ing 'he feeling of 'he clien' ask
'he clien' 'o speak more on i'. -n mos' cases 'hey Eus' forge' a0ou' i' and rush 'o 'he ne/' s'ep. ?hen 'he
feelings are sufficien'ly deal' 8i'h< 'he 8ay is clear for fur'her progressK o'her8ise 'he 8ay 8ill 0e fogged 'o
'he e/'en' 'ha' 'he clien's feel 'ha' some'hing is lacking 8hen 'he counselling is 'ermina'ed. 7ere - 8ould
like 'o 0ring 'o your no'ice 'ha' 8hen a s'rong nega'i+e feeling is cherished 0y 'he clien'< 'he counselling 8ill
no' 0e effec'i+e for 'he simple reason 'ha' 'he s'rong nega'i+e feeling comes in 'he 8ay of 'he closure of 'he
counselling process. There is some Cunfinished 0usiness<B 'o quo'e )ri'A Perls. Fnfinished 0usiness keeps
cropping up 8hene+er 'here is an associa'ion 8i'h 'he uncomple'ed 8ork. - shall 'ake up 'his 'heme in 'he
ne/' chap'er.
As - said earlier 'here are clien's 8ho Eus' 8an' 'o come 'o counselling 'o pour ou' 'heir feelings and
go a8ay. They are in no 8ay prepared 'o deal 8i'h 'heir issues fur'her. All 'ha' 'hey 8an'ed 8as 'o ha+e a
release. @ne need no' presume 'ha' 'he clien's 0y all means 8an' counselling. Therefore< one need no' rush
'hrough 'he s'eps 'o comple'e 'he session. 7ere 8ha' one needs 'o keep in mind is 'he need 'o deal 8i'h 'he
feeling. Dealing 8i'h feeling does no' suffice Eus' 'o men'ion or reflec' i' and lea+e i'. @f'en - ha+e no'iced
in my o8n counselling prac'ice and in 'he counselling prac'ice sessions 'ha' 8hene+er 'he counsellor does
no' permi' 'he clien' 'o deal 8i'h 'he dominan' feelings sufficien'ly< 'hen 'he clien' keeps men'ioning i' qui'e
of'en. The feeling despera'ely needs 'o 0e addressed.
37
)irs' and foremos'< 'he counsellor should no'e all 'he feeling 8ords 'he clien' speaks of. Then heHshe
should reflec' 'hose feeling 8ords 'o 'he clien' 'o her sa'isfac'ion. ?hen a clien' hears from 'he counsellor
'he +ery feeling heHshe is e/periencing 'ha' gi+es 'he assurance 'ha' 'he counsellor unders'ood 'he clien'. -' is
more par'icularly needed 8i'h regard 'o feelings. This reflec'ing of 'he feeling 0y 'he counsellor no' only
gi+es 'he impression 'ha' 'he counsellee is unders'ood 0u' also i' gi+es 'he sense of 0eing accep'ed and in a
8ay healed.
@ne can go on enumera'ing all kinds of 'heories 8hy clien's keep repea'ing 'he feeling 8ords un'il
'hey are addressed. -ns'ead 8e no'e 'he fac' 'ha' 'he clien's someho8 8an' 'o communica'e ho8 much 'hey
ha+e 0een affec'ed 0y 'he feeling 'hey e/perience and 'hey 8an' 'o ha+e an assurance from 'he counsellor.
As a firs' s'ep ha+ing reflec'ed 'he feeling of 'he clien' 8hich you do along 8i'h 'he con'en'< you
could ask 'he clien' 'o e/press all 'he feelings heHshe e/periences righ' no8 8i'h regard 'o 'he issue heHshe is
presen'ing. The counsellor needs 'o reflec' all of 'hem 8i'hou' fail. &+en if you miss o'her 'hings narra'ed
0y 'he clien'< one 'hing 8e should ne+er miss is 'he feelings e/pressed 0y 'he clien'.
Clien's migh' e/press a fe8 feelings and keep quie'. A' 'his momen'< you can ask 'he clien' if 'here
are any o'her feelings so 'ha' 'he clien' e/haus's e/pressing 'he feelings heHshe e/periences. !o8 comes 'he
poin' 'ha' you should deal 8i'h 'he feelings sufficien'ly. All 'he dominan' feelings are 'o 0e deal' 8i'h. A' a
'ime one feeling may 0e predominan'. Ask 'he clien' 'o speak more on 'he feeling. -' is an ela0ora'e
ques'ion. Jou are asking 'he clien' 'o ela0ora'e on ho8 heHshe e/periences 'he feeling. According 'o me 'his
has 'o 0e done un'il 'he clien' has no'hing more 'o speak. )rom no8 on8ards you are free 'o proceed in your
counselling session. @'her8ise you can no'ice 'he clien' repea'edly speaking of a par'icular feeling un'il 'he
session ge's o+er.
7ere you ha+e no' ye' resol+ed 'he issue. The feeling may 0e connec'ed 8i'h 'he issue. 4u' 0y no8
'he 8ay is cleared 'o proceed fur'her. -' is impera'i+e for 'he counsellor 'o ask 'he clien' 'o speak more on 'he
feeling heHshe is e/periencing.
!o' 'o ha+e picked up 'he feeling of 'he clien' and reflec'ed i' and no' 'o ha+e asked 'he clien' 'o
speak more on 'he feeling are connec'ed 'o 'he skill of empa'hy a0ou' 8hich 8e shall see la'er. Therefore<
no' 'o ha+e allo8ed 'he clien' 'o e/press sufficien'ly on 'he feeling is a sign 'ha' 'he counsellor is no'
sufficien'ly empa'he'ic. "ack of empa'hy is a serious se'0ack in counselling. 7ence< 'here is a grea' need 'o
deal sufficien'ly 8i'h 'he feeling of 'he clien' 'o hisHher sa'isfac'ion. Tha' is 8hy - ha+e made i' a special
skill les' 'his 'ask of 'he counsellor is o+erlooked.
33

32
2
FACILITATE THE CLIENT TO RELEASE STRONG
NEGATI6E FEELINGS
Dealing 8i'h 'he feelings< 'he counsellor should do. The counsellor may come across cer'ain
feelings 8hich are nega'i+e and s'rong 'ha' unless 'hey are deal' 8i'h or released properly 0y 'herapeu'ic
me'hods 'hey 8ill no' permi' 'he counselling 'o proceed. This has 0een my e/perience and also - ha+e
o0ser+ed 'he same in 'he counselling sessions of o'hers. !o' all 'he nega'i+e feelings need 'o 0e released
0efore counselling con'inues. There are only 'hree and more par'icularly '8o of 'hem. They are 1. grief< #.
anger< and *. guil'. - ha+e no' seen so far a successful counselling comple'ed 8hen 'here had 0een a s'rong
grief or anger lurking 0ehind 8i'hou' 0eing released. Therefore< - speak of 'hem.
8. GRIEF
9rief is a profound form of sadness. Fsually i' is concerned 8i'h dea'h< 'he mos' su0s'an'ial misfor'une
8e e/perience. -n 'he dea'h of someone +ery close 'o us and 8hom 8e +alue +ery much< 8e e/perience 'he
irre+oca0le loss. $ince dea'h has a profound impac' on us< grief is focused on 'he same issue for a long
period of 'ime. Thus grief 'ypically de+elops in'o a sen'imen' and in e/'reme cases in'o depression. 9rief is
no' limi'ed 'o dea'h alone< i' may concern misfor'unes< 8hich do no' in+ol+e dea'h 0u' ne+er'heless are
considered as grim as dea'h. "osses can happen 'hrough separa'ion and di+orce< 0o'h of 8hich ha+e 'heir
o8n psychological cos's. "osses can also 0e less 'angi0le< for e/ample< 'he loss of an ideal< 'he loss of a
lim0< or 'he loss of capaci'ies 'hrough chronic illness. $uch e/amples highligh' 'ha' al'hough 8e consider 'he
in'erpersonal con'e/' in 8hich losses occur< reac'ions 'o losses 'ha' are no' in'erpersonal mus' also 0e
considered. The implica'ion 'hey may ha+e are similar 'o 'he loss of dea'h. 9rief is an emo'ion 'o8ards 'he
0ad for'une of o'hers. 4u' in fac'< i' has so much 'o do 8i'h our o8n misfor'une as 8ell. A grea' deal of
concern in grief is 'ha' of our o8n misfor'une or feeling of loss. ?hen 8e grie+e 'he dea'h of someone< i' is
no' 'ha' 'he dead person is suffering no8 or missing some'hing of our presen' life< 0u' 8e feel some'hing in
us has died< 'ha' our life has los' a +alua0le aspec'.
33
Clien's ha+e 'he righ' 'o feel 'he ruin fully. $adness or grief needs 'o 0e fel' a' leas' for some'ime<
0efore i' can 0e deal' 8i'h. A''emp'ing 'o deal 8i'h i' as soon as i' occurred may no' 0e frui'ful. 5isu had
los' his fa'her< and he 8as inconsola0le 8hen he came for counselling. -n fac'< he did no' ha+e 'he mood
e+en 'o 'alk 'o 'he counsellor. 7e 8as in a daAed s'a'e< 0eing s'unned 0y 'he shock of 'he dea'h of his
0elo+ed fa'her. The counsellor 8as keeping a careful 8a'ch o+er him< and af'er some days of mourning 5isu
8an'ed 'o 'alk 'o 'he counsellor. As 5isu 8as 0usy 8i'h 'he arrangemen' of 'he funeral ri'es< he could hardly
8eep and mourn 'he loss. The counsellor immedia'ely used 'he 9es'al' me'hod of ha+ing a dialogue 8i'h his
fa'her< 8hich ended on a happy no'e< 0o'h 5isu and his fa'her 'aking lea+e of each o'her. -f 'he counsellor
a''emp'ed 'o deal 8i'h 'he mourning righ' a' 'he +ery 0eginning< i' 8ould no' 8ork. And no8 'ha' 5isu has
mourned his fa'herMs dea'h< he 8as prepared 'o look in'o 'he 0usiness his fa'her has lef' and 'he household
managemen'< for 8hich 'he counsellorBs in'er+en'ion 8as essen'ial in 'he form of counselling.
?hen sad< people 8eep. ?eeping is such a s8ee' relief. Cul'urally 8e are condi'ioned 'o 'hink 'ha'
8eeping is 'he preroga'i+e of 8omen. -f a man 8eeps< o'hers remark M?hy do you 8eep like a 8omanLB as
'hough i' is 8rong for men 'o 8eep. ?eeping is one of 'he simples' 8ays of easing oneself of a grea' 0urden.
$ome'imes clien's are qui'e con'en' 8i'h 8eeping in 'he presence of a counsellor 8ho unders'ands 'hem.
7o8 salu'ary i' is 'ha' 8e 8eepO 4u' 'he fac' is 'ha' people on finding 'hemsel+es una0le 'o con'rol 'heir 'ears
feel em0arrassed. Cer'ain skills on 'he par' of 'he counsellor 8ill defini'ely facili'a'e 8eeping in 'he clien'.
-f you find your clien' s'ar'ing 'o 8eep< keep a8ay all in'errup'ions 0y 8ay of asking ques'ions. Jou can
resume your enquiry or responding< once 'he 8eeping su0sides. Main'aining an ac'i+e silence 8i'h full of
care and concern is 8ell apprecia'ed. ?hen 8e +isi' our friends and rela'i+es 8ho are mourning< 'hey do no'
e/pec' us 'o gi+e a +er0al repor' of ho8 much 8e feel 8i'h 'hem. All 'hey need is 'ha' 8e 0e presen' 'o 'hem
unders'andingly. -f i' is cul'urally allo8ed< holding 'he hand< s'roking 'he shoulders< an em0race< a 'ouch on
'he head< 8ill non+er0ally soo'he 'he clien'. 5er0ally suppor'i+e s'a'emen's are +ery facili'a'ing. @nce one
of my companions came 'o my room 'o share some'hing personal and de+as'a'ing. - sa8 his mois'ened eyes
and realiAing 8ha' 8as going on 8i'hin him - said: C-' is hur'ing<B a' 8hich he 0urs' in'o 'ears. Jou could
make s'a'emen's like: CJou feel so misera0le 'ha' you 8ould 8eep i' ou'.B @r you could say Csome'hing is
hur'ing you.B ?hile 8eeping is going on do no' keep yourself 0usy 8i'h o'her ac'i+i'ies or looking a8ay
'hrough 'he 8indo8. A''ending 'o 'he clien' 8hile heHshe 8eeps is necessary.
166
.. ANGER
Anger is direc'ed 'o8ards 'he ac'ion of ano'her person. Anger in+ol+es a nega'i+e e+alua'ion< 0u'
'his e+alua'ion is of 'he specific ac'ion of ano'her ra'her 'han a glo0al a''i'ude. @ne of 'he causes of
anger is 'he feeling of 0eing ei'her physically or psychologically res'rained from doing 8ha' you
in'ensely desire 'o do. The res'rain's could 0e any'hing such as physical 0arriers< rules< regula'ions< or
personal insul'< e+eryday frus'ra'ions< in'errup'ion of in'eres' or Eoy< 0eing 'aken ad+an'age of< and 0eing
compelled 'o do some'hing agains' oneBs 8ish. Prolonged and unrelie+ed dis'ress is kno8n 'o 0e 'he
in0orn ac'i+a'or of anger. @ne of 'he causes of anger is in rela'ion 'o a personBs desired direc'ion or goal.
$o any'hing 'ha' deflec's a person from hisHher pa'h 'o 'he goal can 'rigger anger. A+ersi+e s'imulus is a
sufficien' cause of anger and aggressi+e inclina'ions. Physical pain is a direc' and immedia'e cause of
anger. Thus< discomfor' from any source like hunger< fa'igue< or men'al s'ress can make us angry 8hile
8e are una8are of 'he causes. Mild discomfor'< 8hen prolonged< can make us more irri'a0le and 'hus
lo8er our anger 'hreshold. -' is an offence 'ha' arouses anger. Tha' offence should 0e specific and
undeser+ed.
Anger is ano'her s'rong emo'ion 'ha' needs special care like sadness or grief. "o+e ;se/>< grief< and
anger ha+e orgasm in 'he sense 'ha' 'hey rise 'o a le+el< 0eyond 8hich 'hey canno' rise< and 'hen 'hey
e/plode and decline. !a'urally a grief-s'ricken indi+idual remains for some days in hisHher grief 8hich
reaches i's heigh' and 'hen i' declines. Anger 'oo 0uilds i'self up and finally e/plodes. ?hen s'rong anger is
0o''led up and no' gi+en a release< 'hen i' comes in 'he 8ay of 'he closure of an unfinished 0usiness. A lady
came 'o me for counselling. 7er hus0and 8as 8orking in 'he marke'. 7e had de+eloped an illici'
rela'ionship 8i'h ano'her 8oman 8orking in 'he same marke'. ?hen she kne8 'his fac'< she could con'ain
herself no longer. $he 8as li'erally fuming< 0u' 8as una0le 'o e/press her anger 'o8ards her hus0and. Then
- facili'a'ed her 'o +en' her feeling of anger 'hrough 0ea'ing a pillo8< as per 9es'al' me'hod< and 'hen made
166
her dialogue 8i'h her hus0and in fan'asy. 4ecause she 'ook ou' her anger firs' she could unders'and 'he
marke' si'ua'ion< and ho8 frail her hus0and 8ould ha+e 0een in such a +ulnera0le si'ua'ion< e+en 'hough he
migh' no' ha+e 8an'ed 'o 0e unfai'hful 'o his 8ife. This realiAa'ion 'hrough counselling could come a0ou'<
Eus' 0ecause she firs' 'ook care of her anger 'o8ards her hus0and. 7ence a''emp'ing 'o counsel a person 8ho
is 0oiling 8i'h a s'rong nega'i+e feeling like anger is mere 8as'e of 'ime< unless you make room for 'he
release of 'he anger.
161
1. GUILT
9uil' also is a s'rong nega'i+e feeling. 4u' i' is no' as paralyAing as grief or as de+as'a'ing as anger.
9uil' refers 'o a specific deed ;or omission>. -n guil' our focus of concern is a deed< 8hich has +iola'ed
cer'ain norms. 9uil' emerges 8hen 8e ha+e done some'hing< 8hich is for0idden. The for0idden 'hing in
guil' may in+ol+e some harm 'o a person or i' migh' ha+e merely +iola'ed a cer'ain norm 8i'hou' doing harm
'o anyone. &mo'ions are mos'ly concerned 8i'h 'hose 8ho are close 'o us. -n guil'< as 8ell< 'he rela'ionship
'o our in'ima'es is also cen'ral. 9uil'-inducing si'ua'ions of'en highligh' 'he neglec' of a par'ner or of o'her
in'ima'es< or failure 'o li+e up 'o 'he con+en'ional s'andards of in'erpersonal rela'ionships. 9uil' is
concerned 8i'h 'he ac'ion of an agen' P no' 'he agen' as a 8hole. 9uil' in+ol+es 0eing associa'ed 8i'h 8ha'
is morally 8rong. ?e do no' feel guil'y of 'he deeds of o'hers. To feel guil'y - should ha+e done an ac' o+er
8hich - had a cer'ain causal responsi0ili'y. Therefore< 'here should 0e a clear causal connec'ion 0e'8een 'he
deed done and 'he feeling of guil'.
16#

)irs' of all clarify 8i'h 'he clien' 8he'her 'he guil' is legi'ima'e or illegi'ima'e. -n legi'ima'e guil'
you are responsi0le for a commission or omission 0u' in illegi'ima'e guil' you are no'. Jou did no' pro+ide
enough medical facili'y for 'he one under your care and so 'he person died. 7ere you 8ill ha+e a legi'ima'e
guil'. Jou could no' pro+ide more 'han your means 'o care for your aging paren's. 4u' you ha+e done all
'ha' you could really do. Je' if you feel guil'y of no' ha+ing cared for 'hem< 'hen i' is illegi'ima'e guil'. -n
many cases< a mere clarifica'ion 8ill help a lo'. Then appropria'e dialogue 8i'h 'he persons concerned 8ill
ease 'he 0urden of guil'.
9uil' can 0e deal' 8i'h 'hrough 9es'al' me'hod. Make 'he clien' dialogue in fan'asy 8i'h 'he
indi+idual 'o8ards 8hom heHshe feels guil'y. -n 'he dialogue heHshe can e/press ho8 heHshe feels and ask
pardon of 'he person. Thus 'he dialogue 8ill con'inue and come 'o a happy ending. -f heHshe feels guil'y
'ha' heHshe did no' li+e up 'o a s'andard 0eha+iour< 'hen make '8o par's of 'he clien' in fan'asy< one par' of
'he clien' 'ha' commi''ed 'he mis'ake and 'he o'her person 8ho is righ'eous. "e' 'here 0e a dialogue 8hich
ends peacefully. -f 'he person feels guil'y 'o8ards 9od< le' himHher dialogue 8i'h 9od and reach 'he end of
'he dialogue.
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80
PINPOINT THE PRO5LEM AND ASK FOR
A RECENT E6ENT
DIAGNOSING
A. PINPOINTNG THE PRO5LEM
Counsellees come 'o 'he counsellor and speak a lo' a0ou' 'he pro0lem 'hey face. !o' all 'he
clien's are clear a0ou' 8ha' 'hey speak. -n fac'< some of 'he clien's are no' a0le 'o speak poin'edly a0ou'
'he pro0lem. They gi+e you a Eum0le of informa'ion< mos'ly confused< and apparen'ly disconnec'edK or
'here is a connec'ion 8i'hin 'hemsel+es< 0u' i' is no' e+iden' 'o 'he counsellor. &+en 'he psycho'ic
person ac's according 'o 'he percep'ion heHshe has< 8hich is no' clear 'o 'he 0ys'anders. -n 'he same
8ay< 8ha'e+er 'he clien' speaks has a cer'ain connec'ion. The counsellor needs 'o kno8 'he real
pro0lem. - ha+e seen a num0er of counsellor 'rainees 8ho proceed 8i'h counselling 8i'hou' realiAing
'ha' 'hey ha+e no' ye' iden'ified 'he pro0lem 'he clien' speaks of. The clien' may 0e meaning one 'hing<
and 'he counsellor unders'ands i' differen'lyK and 'he counselling proceeds parallelly as 'hough 'hey are
opera'ing on '8o 8a+eleng'hs. -n order 'o lead 'he clien' 'o 'he goal< 'he counsellor as 8ell as 'he
counsellee need 'o kno8 'he pro0lem 'hey are going 'o deal 8i'h. -n diagnosing< 'he counsellor
pinpoin's 'he pro0lem so 'ha' i' 0ecomes clear 'o himHher as 8ell as 'o 'he clien'. -n 'raining sessions -
usually do no' allo8 'he counsellor 'o proceed 8i'h 'he counselling unless heHshe has poin'ed ou' 'he
clien'Bs pro0lem 'ha' 8as presen'ed< and 0o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee ha+e 'he same
unders'anding of 'he pro0lem.
PINPOINTING THE PRO5LEM
Pro0lems can 0e from many fields. -' can 0e from 'he si'ua'ion like children 0eing 0ough' up in
a slum si'ua'ion 8here s'ealing and o'her une'hical prac'ices are 'aken as normal e/pec'ed 0eha+iour.
Pro0lems can 0e de+elopmen'al as one goes 'hrough +arious s'ages of de+elopmen'. -' could 0e from
oneBs 'ype of personali'y. -' could 0e from 8i'hin a person in 'he sense of faul'y 'hinking< faul'y feeling<
and faul'y 0eha+iour. -' could 0e from in'erpersonal rela'ionship. -' can 0e also from any of 'he men'al
16#
disorders. -n shor' i' could 0e from any'hing in'rapersonal 'o in'erpersonal< and 'o si'ua'ional. $ince 'he
spec'rum of men'al disorders co+ers a 8ide range of pro0lems< - ha+e chosen 'o deal 8i'h 'hem using
'he Diagnos'ic and $'a'is'ical Manual of Men'al Disorders< ,
'h
&di'ion ;D$M--5>.
$ome'imes pinpoin'ing 'he pro0lem is no' so easy< and 'he pro0lem may no' lend i'self 'o 0e
iden'ified. -n such si'ua'ions you plainly ask 'he clien' if heHshe could descri0e in shor' 8ha' hisHher
pro0lem is. Perhaps a' 'his le+el heHshe is a0le 'o enuncia'e 'he pro0lem. @r else you could 'ell himHher
8ha' you unders'and 'o 0e hisHher pro0lem< and 8ai' for confirma'ion or denial. @nce you 0o'h agree
8ha' 'he pro0lem is< 'hen you are ready 'o proceed fur'her.
-f you realiAe 'ha' 'he pro0lem is 0eyond your compe'ence< 'hen 'ake 'he appropria'e s'eps 'o
refer 'he clien' 'o 'he compe'en' person 8ho 8ould deal 8i'h hisHher pro0lem. -n counselling skills
prac'ice< - of'en see counsellor 'rainees 'aking for gran'ed 8ha' 'he pro0lem is and proceeding fur'her.
-n some cases 'he clien' unders'ands hisHher pro0lem 'o 0e one< 'he counsellor unders'ands i' 'o 0e
ano'herK and 'hus 'hey proceed parallelly 8i'hou' a mee'ing poin'< and finally arri+e a' some'hing 'ha'
has no'hing 'o do 8i'h 'he pro0lem presen'ed. &+en af'er pinpoin'ing 'he pro0lem 'he unders'anding of
'he pro0lem 0y 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee may no' 0e 'he same. Consequen'ly le' 'here 0e a
concre'e discussion a0ou' 8ha' 0o'h of 'hem unders'and as 'he pro0lem.
To pinpoin' 'he pro0lem in 'he clien' one needs 'o kno8 8ha' are 'he pro0lem areas and 8ha' are
'he pro0lems 'hemsel+es in order 'o pinpoin' 'hem in 'he clien'. -n 'he 8orld 8e ha+e '8o 'ypes of
classifica'ion of men'al illnesses. @ne is 0y 'he American Psychia'ric Associa'ion ;APA> 8i'h i's
Diagnos'ic and $'a'is'ical Manual of Men'al Disorders ;D$M> and 'he o'her 0y 'he ?orld 7eal'h
@rganiAa'ion ;?7@> 8i'h i's -n'erna'ional Classifica'ion of Diseases ;-CD>. A' presen' 'he la'es'
+ersions of 'hese classifica'ions are: D$M--5 ;)our'h &di'ion of 133, 8i'h a Q'e/' re+isionQ produced
in #666> for F$A< and -CD-16 ;Ten'h &di'ion< 133#> for &urope.
Though D$M--5 8as primarily mean' for use in 'he Fni'ed $'a'es of America< i' had
considera0le influence in'erna'ionally. 4esides< many of i's 0asic fea'ures like specified diagnos'ic
cri'eria< 8ere adop'ed for inclusion in 'he men'al disorders chap'er of -CD-16 of 'he ?orld 7eal'h
@rganiAa'ion. -CD-16 is 'he official classifica'ion sys'em used in &urope. All 'he ca'egories used in
D$M--5 are found in -CD-16< 0u' no' all -CD-16 ca'egories are in D$M--5.
D$M--5 is a ca'egorical model ra'her 'han a dimensional model. -n a dimensional model
clinical presen'a'ions are 0ased on quan'ifica'ion of a''ri0u'es ra'her 'han on 'he assignmen' 'o
ca'egories 8hich is follo8ed 0y ca'egorical model.
The fine dis'inc'ion 8e had formerly 0efore 'he arri+al of D$M--5 as psychosis and neurosis is
no' used curren'ly. ?i'h 'he la'es' de+elopmen' in men'al disorders classifica'ions 8e unders'and
psycho'ic as gr$ssl* i&'ired in reli#* #es#ing< i.e. persons incorrec'ly e+alua'e 'he accuracy of 'heir
percep'ions and 'hough's and make incorrec' inferences a0ou' e/'ernal reali'y< e+en in 'he face of
con'rary e+idence. Direc' e+idence of psycho'ic 0eha+iour is 'he presence of ei'her delusi$n $r
!llucin#i$ns Ai#!$u# insig!# in#$ #!eir '#!$l$gicl n#ure. A neurosis is a chronic or recurren'
nonpsycho'ic disorder< charac'eriAed mainly 0y an/ie'y< 'ha' is e/perienced or e/pressed direc'ly or is
al'ered 'hrough defence mechanismK neurosis appears as a symp'om< such as an o0session< a
compulsion< a pho0ia< or se/ual dysfunc'ion. Though no' used in D$--5< many clinicians consider 'he
follo8ing diagnos'ic ca'egories as neuroses: an/ie'y disorders< soma'oform disorders< dissocia'i+e
disorders< se/ual disorders< and dys'hymic disorder. The 'erm CneurosisB signifies 'ha' #!e 'ers$n>s
gr$ss reli#* #es#ing nd 'ers$nli#* $rgniH#i$n re in#c# 'hough 'he person is impaired in a
num0er of areas. !o8 le' us consider each pro0lem separa'ely.
-n 'he 'rea'men' of men'al disorders< - ha+e purposely lef' ou' symp'oms due 'o 'he direc'
physiological effec's of a su0s'ance ;e.g.< drug of a0use< a medica'ion< or o'her 'rea'men'> or a general
16*
medical condi'ion ;e.g.< hyper'hyroidism> or as a manifes'a'ionHconsequence of ano'her men'al disorder.
These ca'egories may no' concern a counsellor direc'lyK 'hey are of concern 'o a physician. ?e need 'o
keep in mind 'ha' mos' of 'he men'al illnesses or symp'oms deal' 8i'h in 'he follo8ing pages ;1> could
0e also due 'o a general medical condi'ion or due 'o 'he direc' physiological effec's of a su0s'ance ;e.g.<
a drug of a0use< a medica'ion> or a manifes'a'ionHconsequence of ano'her men'al disorderK ;#> 'hey
should cause significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or o'her impor'an' areas of
func'ioning. $ince 8e 'ake 'hese for gran'ed< - mos'ly a+oid adding 'hem in 'he diagnos'ic cri'eria of
e+ery men'al illness.
8. DE6ELOPMENTAL PRO5LEMS
)irs' le' us 'ake de+elopmen'al pro0lems. -n normal indi+iduals< 8e could also e/pec'
de+elopmen'al pro0lems according 'o 'he 'en de+elopmen'al s'ages.
8+ Pren#l M )rom concep'ion 'o 0ir'h< #76 or #26 days< or 3 calendar mon'hs.
.+ In(nc* M )rom 0ir'h 'o 'he end of 'he second 8eek. 7ere Pr#un#e refers 'o 'he 'ime 0e'8een 'he
emergence of 'he foe'us from 'he mo'herMs 0ody 'ill 'he um0ilical cord is cu' and 'iedK and Ne$n#e
deno'es 'he 'ime 0e'8een 'he cu''ing of 'he um0ilical cord and 'he end of 'he second 8eek.
1+ 5"*!$$d M )rom 'he end of 'he second 8eek 'o 'he end of second year.
/+ Erl* c!ild!$$d M )rom '8o 'o si/ years.
;+ L#e c!ild!$$d P )rom si/ 'o 'en or '8el+e years.
-+ Pu"er#* $r Pred$lescence M )rom 'en or '8el+e 'o 'hir'een or four'een years.
<+ Ad$lescence M )rom 'hir'een or four'een years 'o eigh'een years.
4+ Erl* dul#!$$d M )rom eigh'een years 'o for'y years.
2+ Middle ge $r Middle dul#!$$d M )rom for'y 'o si/'y years.
80+ Old ge $r senescence $r l#e dul#!$$d M )rom si/'y years 'o dea'h.
!o8 each of 'hese s'ages has i's o8n pro0lems< and 'he +ery 'ransi'ion from one s'age 'o ano'her
has i's o8n pro0lem. A counsellor needs 'o dis'inguish 8he'her a par'icular pro0lem is a neuro'ic or
de+elopmen'al. )or e/ample< in la'e childhood children are kno8n 'o s'eal< chea'< lie and use +ulgar
8ords. These misdemeanours are likely 'o 0e 'here in a child. @nce a college professor came and
complained 'o me a0ou' his son ;in his la'e childhood> 'ha' he 8as 'elling lies for silly 'hings. The
professor could no' accep' 'ha' i' is a de+elopmen'al pro0lem ;specific 'o 'he s'age> 'ha' his son 8as
facing. $ome paren's are shocked 'o o0ser+e 'heir children in early childhood< especially from * 'o 1
years< engaged in manipula'ion of 'heir geni'als< and 'heir adolescen' sons or daugh'ers e/perimen'ing
8i'h se/.
16*
.. PERSONALIT: DISORDERS
-n 'his par' 8e shall consider +arious 'ypes of personali'y disorders. They are 'hir'een in all. "e'
us 'ake 'hem one 0y one. 4efore 'ha'< le' us see ho8 a personali'y disorder is 'o 0e iden'ified and la'er
8e shall apply i' 'o specific personali'y disorder.
16,
GENERAL DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR A PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A. An enduring pa''ern of inner e/perience and 0eha+iour 'ha' de+ia'es markedly from 'he
e/pec'a'ions of 'he indi+idualBs cul'ure. This pa''ern is manifes'ed in '8o ;or more> of 'he
follo8ing areas:
;1> cogni'ion ;i.e.< 8ays of percei+ing and in'erpre'ing self< o'her people< and e+en's>
;#> affec'i+i'y ;i.e.< 'he range< in'ensi'y< la0ili'y< and appropria'eness of emo'ional response>
;*> in'erpersonal func'ioning
;,> impulse con'rol
4. The enduring pa''ern is infle/i0le and per+asi+e across a 0road range of personal and social
si'ua'ions.
C. The enduring pa''ern leads 'o clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social<
occupa'ional< or o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
D. The pa''ern is s'a0le and of long dura'ion and i's onse' can 0e 'raced 0ack a' leas' 'o adolescence
or early adul'hood.
16,
The firs' 'hree Paranoid< $chiAoid< and $chiAo'ypal personali'y disorders are considered as $dd
nd eccen#ric 'ypes.
16.
8+ PARANOID PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e dis'rus' and suspiciousness of o'hers such 'ha' 'heir mo'i+es are in'erpre'ed as male+olen'<
0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s as indica'ed 0y four ;or more> of 'he
follo8ing:
;1> suspec's< 8i'hou' sufficien' 0asis< 'ha' o'hers are e/ploi'ing< harming< or decei+ing
himHher
;#> is preoccupied 8i'h unEus'ified dou0's a0ou' 'he loyal'y or 'rus'8or'hiness of friends or
associa'es
;*> is reluc'an' 'o confide in o'hers 0ecause of un8arran'ed fear 'ha' 'he informa'ion 8ill 0e
used maliciously agains' himHher
;,> reads hidden demeaning or 'hrea'ening meanings in'o 0enign remarks or e+en's
;.> persis'en'ly 0ears grudges< i.e.< is unforgi+ing of insul's< inEuries< or sligh's
;1> percei+es a''acks on hisHher charac'er or repu'a'ion 'ha' are no' apparen' 'o o'hers and is
quick 'o reac' angrily or 'o coun'era''ack
;7> has recurren' suspicions< 8i'hou' Eus'ifica'ion< regarding fideli'y of spouse or se/ual
par'ner.
.+ SCHI=OID PERSONALIT: DISORDER

A per+asi+e pa''ern of de'achmen' from social rela'ionships and a res'ric'ed range of e/pression
of emo'ions in in'erpersonal se''ings< 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s<
as indica'ed 0y four ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> nei'her desires nor enEoys close rela'ionships< including 0eing par' of a family
;#> almos' al8ays chooses soli'ary ac'i+i'ies
;*> has li''le< if any< in'eres' in ha+ing se/ual e/periences 8i'h ano'her person
;,> 'akes pleasure in fe8< if any< ac'i+i'ies
;.> lacks close friends or confidan's o'her 'han firs' degree rela'i+es
;1> appears indifferen' 'o 'he praise or cri'icism of o'hers
;7> sho8s emo'ional coldness< de'achmen'< or fla''ened affec'i+i'y.
16.
1+ SCHI=OT:PAL PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e pa''ern of social and in'erpersonal defici' marked 0y acu'e discomfor' 8i'h< and
reduced capaci'y for< close rela'ionships as 8ell as 0y cogni'i+e or percep'ual dis'or'ions and
eccen'rici'ies of 0eha+iour< 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as
indica'ed 0y fi+e ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> ideas of reference ;e/cluding delusions of reference>
;#> odd 0eliefs or magical 'hinking 'ha' influences 0eha+iour and is inconsis'en' 8i'h
su0cul'ural norms ;e.g.< supers'i'iousness< 0elief in clair+oyance< 'elepa'hy< or Csi/'h
senseBK in children and adolescen's< 0iAarre fan'asies or preoccupa'ions>
;*> unusual percep'ual e/periences< including 0odily illusions
;,> odd 'hinking and speech ;e.g.< +ague< circums'an'ial< me'aphorical< o+erela0ora'e< or
s'ereo'yped>
;.> suspiciousness or paranoid idea'ion
;1> inappropria'e or cons'ric'ed affec'
;7> 0eha+iour or appearance 'ha' is odd< eccen'ric< or peculiar
;2> lack of close friends or confidan's o'her 'han firs'-degree rela'i+es
;3> e/cessi+e social an/ie'y 'ha' does no' diminish 8i'h familiari'y and 'ends 'o 0e
associa'ed 8i'h paranoid fears ra'her 'han nega'i+e Eudgemen's a0ou' self.
The ne/' four An'isocial< 4orderline< 7is'rionic< and !arcissis'ic personali'y disorders are
considered as dr&#ic) e&$#i$nl) nd err#ic 'ypes.
161
/+ ANTISOCIAL PERSONALIT: DISORDER
There is a per+asi+e pa''ern of disregard for and +iola'ion of 'he righ's of o'hers occurring since
age 1. years< as indica'ed 0y 'hree ;or more> of 'he follo8ingK
;1> failure 'o conform 'o social norms 8i'h respec' 'o la8ful 0eha+iours as indica'ed 0y
repea'edly performing ac's 'ha' are grounds for arres'
;#> decei'fulness< as indica'ed 0y repea'ed lying< use of aliases< or conning o'hers for
personal profi' or pleasure
;*> impulsi+i'y or failure 'o plan ahead
;,> irri'a0ili'y and aggressi+eness< as indica'ed 0y repea'ed physical figh's or assaul's
;.> reckless disregard for safe'y of self or o'hers
;1> consis'en' irresponsi0ili'y< as indica'ed 0y repea'ed failure 'o sus'ain consis'en' 8ork
0eha+iour or honour financial o0liga'ions
;7> lack of remorse< as indica'ed 0y 0eing indifferen' 'o or ra'ionaliAing ha+ing hur'<
mis'rea'ed< or s'olen from ano'her.
;+ 5ORDERLINE PERSONALIT: DISORDER

A per+asi+e pa''ern of ins'a0ili'y of in'erpersonal rela'ionships< self-image< and affec's< and
marked impulsi+i'y 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y
fi+e ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> fran'ic effor's 'o a+oid real or imagined a0andonmen'
;#> a pa''ern of uns'a0le and in'ense in'erpersonal rela'ionships charac'eriAed 0y al'erna'ing 0e'8een
e/'remes of idealiAa'ion and de+alua'ion
;*> iden'i'y dis'ur0ance: markedly and persis'en'ly uns'a0le self-image or sense of self
;,> impulsi+i'y in a' leas' '8o areas 'ha' are po'en'ially self-damaging ;e.g.< spending< se/< su0s'ance
a0use< reckless dri+ing< 0inge ea'ing>
;.> recurren' suicidal 0eha+iour< ges'ures< or 'hrea's< or self-mu'ila'ing 0eha+iour
161
;1> affec'i+e ins'a0ili'y due 'o a marked reac'i+i'y of mood ;e.g.< in'ense episodic dysphoria<
irri'a0ili'y< or an/ie'y usually las'ing a fe8 hours and only rarely more 'han a fe8 days>
;7> chronic feeling of emp'iness
;2> inappropria'e< in'ense anger or difficul'y con'rolling anger ;e.g.< frequen' displays of 'emper<
cons'an' anger< recurren' physical figh's>
;3> 'ransien'< s'ress-rela'ed paranoid idea'ion or se+ere dissocia'i+e symp'oms.
-+ HISTRIONIC PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e pa''ern of e/cessi+e emo'ionali'y and a''en'ion seeking< 0eginning 0y early
adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y fi+e ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> is uncomfor'a0le in si'ua'ions in 8hich he or she is no' 'he cen're of a''en'ion
;#> in'erac'ion 8i'h o'hers is of'en charac'eriAed 0y inappropria'e se/ually seduc'i+e or pro+oca'i+e
0eha+iour
;*> displays rapidly shif'ing and shallo8 e/pression of emo'ions
;,> consis'en'ly uses physical appearance 'o dra8 a''en'ion 'o self
;.> has a s'yle of speech 'ha' is e/cessi+ely impressionis'ic and lacking in de'ail
;1> sho8s self-drama'iAa'ion< 'hea'ricali'y< and e/aggera'ed e/pression of emo'ion
;7> is sugges'i0le< i.e.< easily influenced 0y o'hers or circums'ances
;2> considers rela'ionships 'o 0e more in'ima'e 'han 'hey ac'ually are.
<+ NARCISSISTIC PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e pa''ern of grandiosi'y ;in fan'asy or 0eha+iour>< need for admira'ion< and lack of
empa'hy< 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y fi+e ;or
more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> has grandiose sense of self-impor'ance ;e.g.< e/aggera'es achie+emen's and 'alen's< e/pec's 'o 0e
recogniAed as superior 8i'hou' commensura'e achie+emen's>
;#> is preoccupied 8i'h fan'asies of unlimi'ed success< po8er< 0rilliance< 0eau'y< or ideal lo+e
;*> 0elie+es 'ha' he or she is CspecialB and unique and can only 0e unders'ood 0y< or should associa'e
8i'h< o'her special or high-s'a'us people ;or ins'i'u'ions>
;,> requires e/cessi+e admira'ion
;.> has a sense of en'i'lemen'< i.e.< unreasona0le e/pec'a'ions of especially fa+oura0le 'rea'men' or
au'oma'ic compliance 8i'h his or her e/pec'a'ions
;1> is in'erpersonally e/ploi'a'i+e< i.e.< 'akes ad+an'age of o'hers 'o achie+e his or her o8n ends
;7> lacks empa'hy: is un8illing 'o recogniAe or iden'ify 8i'h 'he feelings and needs of o'hers
;2> is of'en en+ious of o'hers or 0elie+es 'ha' o'hers are en+ious of him or her
;3> sho8s arrogan'< haugh'y 0eha+iours or a''i'udes.
The ne/' 'hree A+oidan'< Dependen'< and @0sessi+e-compulsi+e personali'y disorders are
considered as nCi$us) nd (er(ul 'ypes.
167
4+ A6OIDANT PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e pa''ern of social inhi0i'ion< feelings of inadequacy< and hypersensi'i+i'y 'o nega'i+e
e+alua'ion< 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y four ;or
;1> a+oids occupa'ional ac'i+i'ies 'ha' in+ol+e significan' in'erpersonal con'ac'< 0ecause of fears of
cri'icism< disappro+al< or reEec'ion
;#> is un8illing 'o ge' in+ol+ed 8i'h people unless cer'ain of 0eing liked
167
;*> sho8s res'rain' 8i'hin in'ima'e rela'ionships 0ecause of 'he fear of 0eing shamed or ridiculed
;,> is preoccupied 8i'h 0eing cri'iciAed or reEec'ed in social si'ua'ions
;.> is inhi0i'ed in ne8 in'erpersonal si'ua'ions 0ecause of feelings of inadequacy
;1> +ie8s self as socially inep'< personally unappealing< or inferior 'o o'hers
;7> is usually reluc'an' 'o 'ake personal risks or 'o engage in any ne8 ac'i+i'ies 0ecause 'hey
may pro+e em0arrassing.
2+ DEPENDENT PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e and e/cessi+e need 'o 0e 'aken care of 'ha' leads 'o su0missi+e and clinging
0eha+iour and fears of separa'ion< 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as
indica'ed 0y fi+e ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> has difficul'y making e+eryday decisions 8i'hou' an e/cessi+e amoun' of ad+ice and
reassurance from o'hers
;#> needs o'hers 'o assume responsi0ili'y for mos' maEor areas of his or her life
;*> has difficul'y e/pressing disagreemen' 8i'h o'hers 0ecause of fear of loss of suppor' or appro+al
!o'e: Do no' include realis'ic fears of re'ri0u'ion
;,> has difficul'y ini'ia'ing proEec's or doing 'hings on his or her o8n ;0ecause of a lack of self-
confidence in Eudgemen' or a0ili'ies ra'her 'han a lack of mo'i+a'ion or energy>
;.> goes 'o e/cessi+e leng'hs 'o o0'ain nur'urance and suppor' from o'hers< 'o 'he poin' of
+olun'eering 'o do 'hings 'ha' are unpleasan'
;1> feels uncomfor'a0le or helpless 8hen alone 0ecause of e/aggera'ed fears of 0eing una0le 'o
care for himself or herself
;7> urgen'ly seeks ano'her rela'ionship as a source of care and suppor' 8hen a close rela'ionship
ends
;2> is unrealis'ically preoccupied 8i'h fears of 0eing lef' 'o 'ake care of himself or herself.
80+ O5SESSI6E7COMPULSI6E PERSONALIT: DISORDER
A per+asi+e pa''ern of preoccupa'ion 8i'h orderliness< perfec'ionism< and men'al and
in'erpersonal con'rol< a' 'he e/pense of fle/i0ili'y< openness< and efficiency< 0eginning 0y early
adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y four ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> is preoccupied 8i'h de'ails< rules< lis's< order< organiAa'ion< or schedules 'o 'he e/'en' 'ha' 'he
maEor poin' of 'he ac'i+i'y is los'
;#> sho8s perfec'ionism 'ha' in'erferes 8i'h 'ask comple'ion ;e.g.< is una0le 'o comple'e a proEec'
0ecause his or her o8n o+erly s'ric' s'andards are no' me'>
;*> is e/cessi+ely de+o'ed 'o 8ork and produc'i+i'y 'o 'he e/clusion of leisure ac'i+i'ies and
friendships ;no' accoun'ed for 0y o0+ious economic necessi'y>
;,> is o+erconscien'ious< scrupulous< and infle/i0le a0ou' ma''ers of morali'y< e'hics< or +alues ;no'
accoun'ed for 0y cul'ural or religious iden'ifica'ion>
;.> is una0le 'o discard 8orn-ou' or 8or'hless o0Eec's e+en 8hen 'hey ha+e no sen'imen'al +alue
;1> is reluc'an' 'o delega'e 'asks or 'o 8ork 8i'h o'hers unless 'hey su0mi' 'o e/ac'ly his or her 8ay
of doing 'hings
;7> adop's a miserly spending s'yle 'o8ard 0o'h self and o'hersK money is +ie8ed as some'hing 'o
0e hoarded for fu'ure ca'as'rophes
;2> sho8s rigidi'y and s'u00ornness.
88+ DEPRESSI6E PERSONALIT: DISORDER %RESEARCH CRITERIA+
162
A per+asi+e pa''ern of depressi+e cogni'ions and 0eha+iours 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and
presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y fi+e ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> usual mood is domina'ed 0y deEec'ion< gloominess< cheerlessness< Eoylessness<
unhappiness
;#> self-concep' cen'res around 0eliefs of inadequacy< 8or'hlessness< and lo8 self-es'eem
;*> is cri'ical< 0laming< and deroga'ory 'o8ard self
;,> is 0rooding and gi+en 'o 8orry
;.> is nega'i+is'ic< cri'ical< and Eudgmen'al 'o8ard o'hers
;1> is pessimis'ic
;7> is prone 'o feeling guil'y or remorseful.
162
8.+ PASSI6E7AGGRESSI6E PERSONALIT: DISORDER %RESEARCH CRITERIA+
A per+asi+e pa''ern of nega'i+is'ic a''i'udes and passi+e resis'ance 'o demands for adequa'e
performance< 0eginning 0y early adul'hood and presen' in a +arie'y of con'e/'s< as indica'ed 0y four ;or
;1> passi+ely resis's fulfilling rou'ine social and occupa'ional 'asks
;#> complains of 0eing misunders'ood and unapprecia'ed 0y o'hers
;*> is sullen and argumen'a'i+e
;,> unreasona0ly cri'iciAes and scorns au'hori'y
;.> e/presses en+y and resen'men' 'o8ard 'hose apparen'ly more for'una'e
;1> +oices e/aggera'ed and persis'en' complain's of personal misfor'une
;7> al'erna'es 0e'8een hos'ile defiance and con'ri'ion.
163
81+ SELF7DEFEATING PERSONALIT: DISORDER %RESEARCH CRITERIA+
;1> A per+asi+e pa''ern of self-defea'ing 0eha+iour 'ha' does no' occur only in response 'o< or in
an'icipa'ion of< physical< se/ual< or psychological a0use.
;#> )eel un8or'hy of 0eing 'rea'ed 8ell and< as a resul'< 'rea' 'hemsel+es poorly and un8i''ingly
encourage o'hers 'o make 'hem suffer.
;*> They may for e/ample< reEec' oppor'uni'ies for pleasure< choose people or si'ua'ions 'ha' lead 'o
mis'rea'men' or failure< and inci'e o'hers 'o 0ecome angry 8i'h 'hem or reEec' 'hem.
;,> -f 'hings do go 8ell for 'hem< 'hey a''emp' 'o undermine 'hemsel+es 0y< for e/ample< 0ecoming
depressed or causing 'hemsel+es pain.
116

$o far 8e ha+e seen 8ha' are personali'y disorders considered separa'ely 0y each one of 'hem.
?e no8 are a0ou' 'o consider psychoses ;psycho'ic disorders>. -n doing 'his< firs' 8e shall deal 'he
schiAophrenia proper
111
8i'h i's su0'ypes
11#
and secondly 8e shall deal 8i'h o'her psycho'ic disorders
8hich are se+en.
1. SCHI=OPHRENIA %PS:CHOSIS+
8+ SCHI=OPHRENIA
A. Charac'eris'ic symp'oms: T8o ;or more> of 'he follo8ing< each presen' for a significan' por'ion
of 'ime during a 1-mon'h period ;or less if successfully 'rea'ed>:
;1> delusions
;#> hallucina'ions
;*> disorganiAed speech ;e.g.< frequen' derailmen' or incoherence>
163
;,> grossly disorganiAed or ca'a'onic 0eha+iour
;.> nega'i+e symp'oms< i.e.< affec'i+e fla''ening< alogia ;po+er'y of speech>< or a+oli'ion
!o'e: @nly one Cri'erion A symp'om is required if delusions are 0iAarre or hallucina'ions consis' of a
+oice keeping up a running commen'ary on 'he personBs 0eha+iour or 'hough's< or '8o or more +oices
con+ersing 8i'h each o'her.
4. $ocialHoccupa'ion dysfunc'ion: )or a significan' por'ion of 'he 'ime since 'he onse' of 'he
dis'ur0ance< one or more maEor areas of func'ioning such as 8ork< in'erpersonal rela'ions< or
self-care are markedly 0elo8 'he le+el achie+ed prior 'o 'he onse' ;or 8hen 'he onse' is in
childhood or adolescence< failure 'o achie+e e/pec'ed le+el of in'erpersonal< academic< or
occupa'ional achie+emen'>.
C. Dura'ion: Con'inuous signs of 'he dis'ur0ance persis' for a' leas' 1 mon'hs. This 1-mon'h period
mus' include a' leas' 1 mon'h of symp'oms ;or less if successfully 'rea'ed> 'ha' mee' Cri'erion A
;i.e.< ac'i+e-phase symp'oms> and may include periods of prodromal ;an early or premoni'ory
sign or symp'om of a disorder> or residual ;'he phase of an illness 'ha' occurs af'er remission of
'he florid symp'oms or 'he full syndrome> symp'oms. During 'hese prodromal or residual
periods< 'he signs of 'he dis'ur0ance may 0e manifes'ed 0y only nega'i+e symp'oms or '8o or
more symp'oms lis'ed in Cri'erion A presen' in an a''enua'ed form ;e.g.< odd 0eliefs< unusual
percep'ual e/periences>.
Charac'eris'ic symp'oms ;Cri'erion A> may 0e unders'ood as falling in'o '8o 0road ca'egories
P posi'i+e and nega'i+e. The posi'i+e symp'oms appear 'o reflec' an e/cess or dis'or'ion of normal
func'ions< 8hereas 'he nega'i+e symp'oms appear 'o reflec' a diminu'ion or loss of normal func'ions.
The posi'i+e symp'oms include dis'or'ions or e/aggera'ions of inferen'ial 'hinking ;delusion><
and 0eha+ioural moni'oring ;grossly disorganiAed or ca'a'onic 0eha+iour>. !ega'i+e symp'oms include
res'ric'ions in 'he range and in'ensi'y of emo'ional e/pression ;affec'i+e fla''ening>< in 'he fluency and
produc'i+i'y of 'hough' and speech ;alogia>< and in 'he ini'ia'ion of goal-direc'ed 0eha+iour ;a+oli'ion>.
%8+ PARANOID T:PE
A 'ype of schiAophrenia in 8hich 'he follo8ing cri'eria are me':
A. Preoccupa'ion 8i'h one or more delusions or frequen' audi'ory hallucina'ions.
4. !one of 'he follo8ing is prominen': disorganiAed speech< disorganiAed or ca'a'onic
0eha+iour< or fla' or inappropria'e affec'
%.+ DISORGANI=ED T:PE
A 'ype of schiAophrenia in 8hich 'he follo8ing cri'eria are me':
A. All of 'he follo8ing are prominen':
;1> disorganiAed speech
;#> disorganiAed 0eha+iour
;*> fla' or inappropria'e affec'
4. The cri'eria are no' me' for ca'a'onic 'ype.
%1+ CATATONIC T:PE
A 'ype of schiAophrenia in 8hich 'he clinical pic'ure is domina'ed 0y a' leas' '8o of 'he
follo8ing:
;1> mo'oric immo0ili'y as e+idenced 0y ca'alepsy ;including 8a/y fle/i0ili'y> or s'upor
116
;#> e/cessi+e mo'or ac'i+i'y ;'ha' is apparen'ly purposeless and no' influenced 0y e/'ernal
s'imuli>
;*> e/'reme nega'i+ism ;an apparen'ly mo'i+eless resis'ance 'o all ins'ruc'ions or main'enance
of a rigid pos'ure agains' a''emp's 'o 0e mo+ed> or mu'ism
;,> peculiari'ies of +olun'ary mo+emen' as e+idenced 0y pos'uring ;+olun'ary assump'ion of
inappropria'e or 0iAarre pos'ures> s'ereo'yped mo+emen's< prominen' mannerisms< or
prominen' grimacing
;.> echolalia or echopra/ia.
/. OTHER PS:CHOTIC DISORDERS
881
8+ SCHI=OPHRENIFORM DISORDER
A. Cri'erion A< D< and & of schiAophrenia are me'.
4. An episode of 'he disorder ;including prodromal< ac'i+e< and residual phases> las's a' leas' 1
mon'h 0u' less 'han 1 mon'hs. ;?hen 'he diagnosis mus' 0e made 8i'hou' 8ai'ing for reco+ery<
i' should 0e qualified as Cpro+isional.B>
$pecify if:
?i'hou' 9ood Prognos'ic )ea'ures
?i'h 9ood Prognos'ic )ea'ures: as e+idenced 0y '8o ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> onse' of prominen' psycho'ic symp'oms 8i'hin , 8eeks of 'he firs' no'icea0le change in
usual 0eha+iour or func'ioning
;#> confusion or perple/i'y a' 'he heigh' of 'he psycho'ic episode
;*> good premor0id social and occupa'ional func'ioning
;,> a0sence of 0lun'ed or fla' affec'
.+ SCHI=OAFFECTI6E DISORDER
A. An unin'errup'ed period of illness during 8hich< a' some 'ime< 'here is ei'her a MaEor
Depressi+e &pisode< a Manic &pisode< or a Mi/ed &pisode concurren' 8i'h symp'oms 'ha' mee'
Cri'erion A for $chiAophrenia.
!o'e: The MaEor Depressi+e &pisode mus' include Cri'erion A1: depressed mood.
4. During 'he same period of illness< 'here ha+e 0een delusions or hallucina'ions for a' leas' #
8eeks in 'he a0sence of prominen' mood symp'oms.
C. $ymp'oms 'ha' mee' cri'eria for a mood episode are presen' for a su0s'an'ial por'ion of 'he 'o'al
dura'ion of 'he ac'i+e and residual periods of 'he illness.
1+ DELUSIONAL DISORDER
A. !on0iAarre delusions ;i.e.< in+ol+ing si'ua'ions 'ha' occur in real life< such as 0eing follo8ed<
poisoned< infec'ed< lo+ed a' a dis'ance< or decei+ed 0y spouse or lo+er< or ha+ing a disease> of
a' leas' 1 mon'hBs dura'ion.
4. Cri'erion A for $chiAophrenia has ne+er 0een me'. !o'e: Tac'ile and olfac'ory hallucina'ions
may 0e presen' in delusional disorder if 'hey are rela'ed 'o 'he delusional 'heme.
C. Apar' from 'he impac' of 'he delusion;s> or i's ramifica'ions< func'ioning is no' markedly
impaired and 0eha+iour is no' o0+iously odd or 0iAarre.
D. -f mood episodes ha+e occurred concurren'ly 8i'h delusions< 'heir 'o'al dura'ion has 0een 0rief
rela'i+e 'o 'he dura'ion of 'he delusional periods.
$pecify 'ype ;'he follo8ing 'ypes are assigned 0ased on 'he predominan' delusional 'heme>:
1. Er$#$&nic T*'e: delusions 'ha' ano'her person< usually of higher s'a'us< is in lo+e
8i'h 'he indi+idual
111
#. Grndi$se T*'e: delusions of infla'ed 8or'h< po8er< kno8ledge< iden'i'y or special
rela'ionship 'o a dei'y or famous person
*. 3el$us T*'e: delusions 'ha' 'he indi+idualBs se/ual par'ner is unfai'hful
,. Persecu#$r* T*'e: delusions 'ha' 'he person ;or someone 'o 8hom 'he person is close>
is 0eing male+olen'ly 'rea'ed in some 8ay
.. S$&#ic T*'e: delusions 'ha' 'he person has some physical defec' or general medical
condi'ion
1. MiCed T*'e: delusions charac'eris'ic of more 'han one of 'he a0o+e 'ypes 0u' no one
'heme predomina'es
/+ 5RIEF PS:CHOTIC DISORDER
A. Presence of one ;or more> of 'he follo8ing symp'oms:
;1> delusions
;#> hallucina'ions
;*> disorganiAed speech ;e.g.< frequen' derailmen' or incoherence>
;,> grossly disorganiAed or ca'a'onic 0eha+iour
!o'e: Do no' include a symp'oms if i' is a cul'urally sanc'ioned response pa''ern. )or e/ample< in some
religious ceremonies< an indi+idual may repor' hearing +oices< 0u' 'hese do no' generally persis' and are
no' percei+ed as a0normal 0y mos' mem0ers of 'he personBs communi'y.
4. Dura'ion of an episode of 'he dis'ur0ance is a' leas' 1 day 0u' less 'han 1 mon'h< 8i'h e+en'ual
full re'urn 'o premor0id le+el of func'ioning.
;+ SHARED PS:CHOTIC DISORDER
A. A delusion de+elops in an indi+idual in 'he con'e/' of a close rela'ionship 8i'h ano'her
person;s>< 8ho has an already-es'a0lished delusion.
4. The delusion is similar in con'en' 'o 'ha' of 'he person 8ho already has 'he es'a0lished
delusion.
-+ PS:CHOTIC DISORDER DUE A GENERAL MEDICAL CONDITION
A. Prominen' hallucina'ions or delusions.
4. There is e+idence from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings 'ha' 'he
dis'ur0ance is 'he direc' physiological consequence of a general medical condi'ion.
C. The dis'ur0ance is no' 0e''er accoun'ed for 0y ano'her men'al disorder.
D. The dis'ur0ance does no' occur e/clusi+ely during 'he course of a delirium.
$pecifiers:
?i'h Delusions: if delusions are 'he predominan' symp'om
?i'h 7allucina'ions: if hallucina'ions are 'he predominan' symp'om
<+ SU5STANCE7INDUCED PS:CHOTIC DISORDER
A. Prominen' hallucina'ions or delusions. !o'e: Do no' include hallucina'ions if 'he person has
insigh' 'ha' 'hey are su0s'ance induced.
4. There is e+idence from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings of ei'her ;1>
or ;#>:
;1> 'he symp'oms in Cri'erion A de+eloped during< or 8i'hin a mon'h of< $u0s'ance
-n'o/ica'ion or ?i'hdra8al
;#> medica'ion use is e'iologically rela'ed 'o 'he dis'ur0ance
11#
;. MOOD DISORDERS
88/
Mood is a enduring emo'ional orien'a'ion 'ha' colours oneBs psychology. ?e make a dis'inc'ion
0e'8een mood episodes and mood disorders. $ince mood episodes form par' of mood disorders< 8e
separa'ely s'udy mood episodes firs'. @'her8ise our aim is 'o unders'and mood disorders< for 8hich< of
course< 8e need 'he defini'ion of mood episodes.
The par' 'ha' deals 8i'h mood disorders has 'he follo8ing plan: 1. )irs' 8e 'rea' M$$d
E'is$des ;MaEor Depressi+e &pisode< Manic &pisode< Mi/ed &pisode< and 7ypomanic &pisode>. They
ac'ually are no' separa'e en'i'ies of illnesses 0u' ra'her 'hey ser+e as 0uilding 0locks for defining Mood
Disorders. #. $econdly 8e learn a0ou' M$$d Dis$rders proper. They include De'ressi@e Dis$rders
;MaEor depressi+e Disorder< Dys'hymic Disorder>< and 5i'$lr Dis$rders. To define 'hese Mood
Disorders 8e need 'he presence or a0sence of 'he Mood &pisodes descri0ed in 'he firs' s'ep. ;7ere -
lea+e ou' Mood Disorder due 'o a 9eneral Medical Condi'ion and $u0s'ance--nduced Mood Disorder.>
To pu' 'his di+ision differen'ly: M$$d Dis$rders are di+ided in'o Uni'$lr Dis$rders ;8hich
includes Depression< and no' e+er ha+ing had Manic< Mi/ed< or 7ypomanic &pisodes> and 5i'$lr
Dis$rders ;8hich in+ol+e 'he presence or his'ory of Manic< Mi/ed< or hypomanic episodes usually
accompanied 0y MaEor Depressi+e &pisodes>. Thus Uni'$lr is res'ric'ed 'o De'ressi@e E'is$des
alone 8hereas 5i'$lr has 0o'h Mnic E'is$des and De'ressi@e E'is$des.
5i'$lr can 0e su0di+ided in'o 5i'$lr I ;charac'eriAed 0y 'he occurrence of one or more
Manic &pisodes or Mi/ed &pisodes and of'en 8i'h 'he e/perience of one or more MaEor Depressi+e
&pisodes> and 5i'$lr II ;charac'eriAed 0y 'he occurrence of one or more MaEor Depressi+e &pisodes
accompanied 0y a' leas' one 7ypomanic &pisode 0u' ne+er 8i'h Manic &pisodes or Mi/ed &pisodes>.
These amoun' 'o say 'ha':
4ipolar - and 4ipolar -- ha+e 0o'h Manic &pisodes and Depressi+e &pisodes. 5i'$lr I has
Mnic E'is$des $r MiCed E'is$des as i's main fea'ure and De'ressi@e E'is$des as 'he secondary
fea'ures 8hereas 5i'$lr II has De'ressi@e E'is$des as i's main fea'ure and H*'$&nic E'is$des
;only> as i's secondary fea'ure 8i'hou' Manic or Mi/ed &pisodes.
"e' us see 'his di+ision in a 'a0le.
M$$d Dis$rders
Uni'$lr
;Depression>
5i'$lr
;Mania and Depression>
MaEor Depressi+e Disorders and
Dys'hymic Disorders
5i'$lr I 5i'$lr II
Mania as main fea'ure
Depression as secondary fea'ure
Depression as main fea'ure
Mania as secondary fea'ure
C*cl$#!*&ic Dis$rder
A chronic< fluc'ua'ing mood dis'ur0ance 8i'h numerous periods of
hypomanic symp'oms no' sufficien' for a Manic &pisode and
numerous periods of depressi+e symp'oms no' sufficien' for
Depressi+e &pisode.
8+ MOOD EPISODES
11*
%8+ MA3OR DEPRESSI6E EPISODE
A. )i+e ;or more> of 'he follo8ing symp'oms ha+e 0een presen' during 'he same #-8eek period
and represen' a change from pre+ious func'ioningK a' leas' one of 'he symp'oms is ei'her ;1>
depressed mood or ;#> loss of in'eres' or pleasure.
!o'e: Do no' include symp'oms 'ha' are clearly due 'o a general medical condi'ion< or mood-
incongruen' delusions or hallucina'ions.
;1> Depressed mood mos' of 'he day< nearly e+ery day< as indica'ed 0y ei'her su0Eec'i+e
repor' ;e.g.< feels sad or emp'y> or o0ser+a'ion made 0y o'hers ;e.g.< appears 'earful>.
!o'e: -n children and adolescen's< can 0e irri'a0le mood.
;#> Markedly diminished in'eres' or pleasure in all< or almos' all< ac'i+i'ies mos' of 'he
day< nearly e+ery day ;as indica'ed 0y ei'her su0Eec'i+e accoun' or o0ser+a'ion made
0y o'hers>
;*> $ignifican' 8eigh' loss 8hen no' die'ing or 8eigh' gain ;e.g.< a change of more 'han
.N of 0ody 8eigh' in a mon'h>< or decrease or increase in appe'i'e nearly e+ery day.
!o'e: -n children< consider failure 'o make e/pec'ed 8eigh' gains.
;,> -nsomnia or hypersomnia nearly e+ery day
;.> Psychomo'or agi'a'ion or re'arda'ion nearly e+ery day ;o0ser+a0le 0y o'hers< no'
merely su0Eec'i+e feelings of res'lessness or 0eing slo8ed do8n>
;1> )a'igue or less of energy nearly e+ery day
;7> )eelings of 8or'hlessness or e/cessi+e or inappropria'e guil' ;8hich may 0e
delusional> nearly e+ery day ;no' merely self-reproach or guil' a0ou' 0eing sick>
;2> Diminished a0ili'y 'o 'hink or concen'ra'e< or indecisi+eness< nearly e+ery day
;ei'her 0y su0Eec'i+e accoun' or as o0ser+ed 0y o'hers>
;3> =ecurren' 'hough's of dea'h ;no' Eus' fear of dying>< recurren' suicidal idea'ion
8i'hou' a specific plan< or a suicide a''emp' or a specific plan for commi''ing suicide
4. The symp'oms do no' mee' cri'eria for a Mi/ed &pisode
%.+ MANIC EPISODE
A. A dis'inc' period of a0normally and persis'en'ly ele+a'ed< e/pansi+e< or irri'a0le mood<
las'ing a' leas' 1 8eek ;or any dura'ion if hospi'alisa'ion is necessary>.
4. During 'he period of mood dis'ur0ance< 'hree ;or more> of 'he follo8ing symp'oms ha+e
persis'ed ;four if 'he mood is only irri'a0le> and ha+e 0een presen' 'o a significan' degree:
;1> infla'ed self-es'eem or grandiosi'y
;#> decreased need for sleep ;e.g.< feels res'ed af'er only * hours of sleep>
;*> more 'alka'i+e 'han usual or pressure 'o keep 'alking
;,> fligh' of ideas or su0Eec'i+e e/perience 'ha' 'hough's are racing
;.> dis'rac'i0ili'y ;i.e.< a''en'ion 'oo easily dra8n 'o unimpor'an' or irrele+an' e/'ernal
s'imuli>
;1> increase in goal-direc'ed ac'i+i'y ;ei'her socially< a' 8ork or school< or se/ually> or
psychomo'or agi'a'ion
;7> e/cessi+e in+ol+emen' in pleasura0le ac'i+i'ies 'ha' ha+e a high po'en'ial for painful
consequences ;e.g.< engaging in unres'rained 0uying sprees< se/ual indiscre'ions< or
foolish 0usiness in+es'men's>
C. The symp'oms do no' mee' cri'eria for a Mi/ed &pisode.
D. The mood dis'ur0ance is sufficien'ly se+ere 'o cause marked impairmen' in occupa'ional
func'ioning or in usual social ac'i+i'ies or rela'ionships 8i'h o'hers< or 'o necessi'a'e
hospi'alisa'ion 'o pre+en' harm 'o self or o'hers< or 'here are psycho'ic fea'ures.
%1+ MIGED EPISODE
11,
A. The cri'eria are me' 0o'h for a Manic &pisode and for a MaEor Depressi+e &pisode ;e/cep' for
dura'ion> nearly e+ery day during a' leas' a 1-8eek period.
4. The mood dis'ur0ance is sufficien'ly se+ere 'o cause marked impairmen' in occupa'ional
func'ioning or in usual social ac'i+i'ies or rela'ionships 8i'h o'hers< or 'o necessi'a'e
hospi'alisa'ion 'o pre+en' harm 'o self or o'hers< or 'here are psycho'ic fea'ures.
%1+ H:POMANIC EPISODE
A. Cri'erion 4 for Manic &pisode is me'.
4. The episode is associa'ed 8i'h an unequi+ocal change in func'ioning 'ha' is uncharac'eris'ic of
'he person 8hen no' symp'oma'ic.
C. The dis'ur0ance in mood and 'he change in func'ioning are o0ser+a0le 0y o'hers.
D. The episode is no' se+ere enough 'o cause marked impairmen' in social or occupa'ional
func'ioning< or 'o necessi'a'e hospi'alisa'ion< and 'here are no psycho'ic fea'ures.
.+ MOOD DISORDERS PROPER
A. DEPRESSI6E DISORDERS
88;
%8+ MA3OR DEPRESSI6E DISORDER) SINGLE EPISODE
A. Presence of a single MaEor Depressi+e &pisode.
4. The MaEor Depressi+e &pisode is no' 0e''er accoun'ed for 0y $chiAoaffec'i+e Disorder and is
no' superimposed on $chiAophrenia< $chiAophreniform Disorder< Delusional Disorder< or
Psycho'ic Disorder !o' @'her8ise specified.
C. There has ne+er 0een a Manic &pisode< a Mi/ed &pisode< or a 7ypomanic &pisode. !o'e: This
e/clusion does no' apply if all of 'he manic-like< mi/ed-like< or hypomanic-like episodes are
su0s'ance or 'rea'men' induced or are due 'o 'he direc' physiological effec's of a general
medical condi'ion.
%.+ MA3OR DEPRESSI6E DISORDER) RECURRENT
Presence of '8o or more MaEor Depressi+e &pisodes.
!o'e: To 0e considered separa'e episodes< 'here mus' 0e an in'er+al of a' leas' # consecu'i+e
mon'hs in 8hich cri'eria are no' me' for a MaEor Depressi+e &pisode.
%1+ D:STH:MIC DISORDER
A. Depressed mood for mos' of 'he day< for more days 'han no'< as indica'ed ei'her 0y su0Eec'i+e
accoun' or o0ser+a'ion 0y o'hers< for a' leas' # years. !o'e: -n children and adolescen's< mood
can 0e irri'a0le and dura'ion mus' 0e a' leas' 1 year.
4. Presence< 8hile depressed< of '8o ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> Poor appe'i'e or o+erea'ing
;#> insomnia or hypersomnia
;*> lo8 energy or fa'igue
;,> lo8 self-es'eem
;.> poor concen'ra'ion or difficul'y making decisions
;1> feelings of hopelessness
C. During 'he #-year period ;1 year for children or adolescen's> of 'he dis'ur0ance< 'he person has
ne+er 0een 8i'hou' 'he symp'oms in Cri'eria A and 4 for more 'han # mon'hs a' a 'ime.
11.
D. !o MaEor depressi+e episode has 0een presen' during 'he firs' # years of 'he dis'ur0ance ;1
year for children and adolescen's>K i.e.< 'he dis'ur0ance is no' 0e''er accoun'ed for 0y chronic
MaEor Depressi+e Disorder< or MaEor Depressi+e Disorder< -n Par'ial =emission.
!o'e: There may ha+e 0een a pre+ious maEor Depressi+e &pisode pro+ided 'here 8as a full
remission ;no significan' signs or symp'oms for # mon'hs> 0efore de+elopmen' of 'he
Dys'hymic Disorder. -n addi'ion< 'here may 0e superimposed episodes of MaEor Depressi+e
Disorder< in 8hich case 0o'h diagnoses may 0e gi+en 8hen 'he cri'eria are me' for a MaEor
Depressi+e &pisode.
&. There has ne+er 0een a Manic &pisode< a Mi/ed &pisode< or a 7ypomanic &pisode< and cri'eria
ha+e ne+er 0een me' for Cyclo'hymic Disorder.
). The symp'oms cause clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or
o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
5. 5IPOLAR DISORDERS
88-
%8+ 5IPOLAR I DISORDER) SINGLE MANIC EPISODE
Presence of only one manic &pisode and no pas' MaEor Depressi+e &pisodes.
!o'e: =ecurrence is defined as ei'her a change in polari'y from depression or an in'er+al of a'
leas' # mon'hs 8i'hou' manic symp'oms.
%.+ 5IPOLAR I DISORDER) MOST RECENT EPISODE H:POMANIC
A. Curren'ly ;or mos' recen'ly> in a 7ypomanic &pisode.
4. There has pre+iously 0een a' leas' one Manic &pisode or Mi/ed &pisode.
C. The mood symp'oms cause clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional<
or o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
%1+ 5IPOLAR I DISORDER) MOST RECENT EPISODE MANIC
A. Curren'ly ;or mos' recen'ly> in a Manic &pisode.
4. There has pre+iously 0een a' leas' one MaEor Depressi+e &pisode< Manic &pisode< or Mi/ed
&pisode.
%/+ 5IPOLAR I DISORDER) MOST RECENT EPISODE MIGED
A. Curren'ly ;or mos' recen'ly> in a Mi/ed &pisode.
4. There has pre+iously 0een a' leas' one MaEor Depressi+e &pisode< Manic &pisode< or Mi/ed
&pisode.
%;+ 5IPOLAR I DISORDER) MOST RECENT EPISODE DEPRESSED
A. Curren'ly ;or mos' recen'ly> in a MaEor Depressi+e &pisode.
%-+ 5IPOLAR I DISORDER) MOST RECENT EPISODE UNSPECIFIED
A. Cri'eria< e/cep' for dura'ion< are curren'ly ;or mos' recen'ly> me' for a Manic< a 7ypomanic< a
Mi/ed< or a MaEor Depressi+e &pisode.
111
%<+ 5IPOLAR II DISORDER %Recurren# MI$r De'ressi@e E'is$des Ai#! H*'$&nic
E'is$des+
A. Presence ;or his'ory> of one or more MaEor Depressi+e &pisodes.
4. Presence ;or his'ory> of a' leas' one 7ypomanic &pisode.
C. There has ne+er 0een a manic &pisode or a Mi/ed &pisode.
C. C:CLOTH:MIC DISORDER
A. )or # les# . *ers< 'he presence of numerous periods 8i'h hypomanic symp'oms and
numerous periods 8i'h depressi+e symp'oms 'ha' do no' mee' cri'eria for a MaEor
Depressi+e &pisode. !o'e: -n children and adolescen's< 'he dura'ion mus' 0e a' leas' 1 year.
4. During 'he a0o+e #-year period ;1 year in children and adolescen's>< 'he person has no'
0een 8i'hou' 'he symp'oms in Cri'erion A for more 'han # mon'hs a' a 'ime.
C. !o MaEor Depressi+e &pisode< Manic &pisode< or Mi/ed &pisode has 0een presen' during
'he firs' # years of 'he dis'ur0ance.
!o'e: Af'er 'he ini'ial # years ;1 year in children and adolescen's> of Cyclo'hymic Disorder<
'here may 0e superimposed Manic or Mi/ed &pisodes ;in 8hich case 0o'h 4ipolar -
Disorder and Cyclo'hymic Disorder may 0e diagnosed> or MaEor Depressi+e &pisodes ;in
8hich case 0o'h 4ipolar -- disorder and Cyclo'hymic Disorder may 0e diagnosed>.
-. ANGIET: DISORDERS
?hen an/ie'y is appropria'e 'o 'he circums'ance< i' is considered normal. ?hen i' is no'
rela'ed 'o 'he realis'ic circums'ances and 0ecome a frequen' or repea'ed response< 'hen i' is
pa'hological. An/ie'y disorders are 'he mos' common of all psychia'ric illnesses and resul' in
considera0le func'ional impairmen' and dis'ress. $ome'imes i' is difficul' 'o separa'e an/ie'y from
depression.
Tracing 'he his'ory of an/ie'y disorders< 8e find 'ha' 'he Can/ie'y neurosisB of )reud ;123.>
8as di+ided in'o Cpanic disorderB and CgeneraliAed an/ie'y disorder.B Again D$M--5 di+ided panic
disorder in'o panic disorder 8i'h and panic disorder 8i'hou' agorapho0ia< depending on 8he'her
'here is any secondary pho0ic a+oidance.
Panic a''acks are kno8n 'o occur no' only in panic disorder 0u' in o'her an/ie'y disorders as
8ell.
Agorapho0ia can occur in 'he con'e/' of Panic Disorder ?i'h Agorapho0ia and Agorapho0ia
?i'hou' 7is'ory of Panic Disorder. ?e consider Panic A''ack and Agorapho0ia firs' since 'hey are
par' of Panic Disorder.
8+ PANIC DISORDER
88<
%8+ PANIC ATTACK
!o'e: A Panic A''ack is no' a coda0le disorder. Code 'he specific diagnosis in 8hich 'he
Panic A''ack occurs.
117
A discre'e period of in'ense fear or discomfor'< in 8hich four ;or more> of 'he follo8ing
symp'oms de+eloped a0rup'ly and reached a peak 8i'hin 16 minu'es:
1. palpi'a'ions< pounding hear'< or accelera'ed hear' ra'e
#. s8ea'ing
*. 'rem0ling or shaking
,. sensa'ions of shor'ness of 0rea'h or smo'hering
.. feeling of choking
1. ches' pain or discomfor'
7. nausea or a0dominal dis'ress
2. feeling diAAy< uns'eady< ligh'-headed< or fain'
3. derealisa'ion ;feelings of unreali'y> or depersonalisa'ion ;0eing de'ached from oneself>
16. fear of losing con'rol or going craAy
11. fear of dying
1#. pares'hesias ;num0ness or 'ingling sensa'ions>
1*. chills or ho' flushes
%.+ AGORAPHO5IA
!o'e: Agorapho0ia is no' a coda0le disorder. Code 'he specific disorder in 8hich 'he Agorapho0ia
occurs.
A. An/ie'y a0ou' 0eing in places or si'ua'ions from 8hich escape migh' 0e difficul' ;or
em0arrassing> or in 8hich help may no' 0e a+aila0le in 'he e+en' of ha+ing an une/pec'ed or
si'ua'ionally predisposed Panic A''ack or panic-like symp'oms. Agorapho0ic fears 'ypically
in+ol+e charac'eris'ic clus'ers of si'ua'ions 'ha' include 0eing ou'side 'he home aloneK 0eing in
a cro8d or s'anding in a lineK 0eing on a 0ridgeK and 'ra+elling in a 0us< 'rain< or au'omo0ile.
!o'e: Consider 'he diagnosis of $pecific Pho0ia if 'he a+oidance is limi'ed 'o one or only a fe8 specific
si'ua'ions< or $ocial Pho0ia if 'he a+oidance is limi'ed 'o social si'ua'ions.
4. The si'ua'ions are a+oided ;e.g.< 'ra+el is res'ric'ed> or else are endured 8i'h marked dis'ress or
8i'h an/ie'y a0ou' ha+ing a Panic A''ack or panic-like symp'oms< or require 'he presence of a
companion.
%1+ PANIC DISORDER PROPER
. PANIC DISORDER 9ITHOUT AGORAPHO5IA
A. 4o'h ;1> and ;#>
;1> recurren' une/pec'ed Panic A''acks
;#> a' leas' one of 'he a''acks has 0een follo8ed 0y 1 mon'h ;or more> of one ;or more>
of 'he follo8ing:
;a> persis'en' concern a0ou' ha+ing addi'ional a''acks
;0> 8orry a0ou' 'he implica'ions of 'he a''ack or i's consequences ;e.g.< losing
con'rol< ha+ing a hear' a''ack< Cgoing craAyB>
;c> a significan' change in 0eha+iour rela'ed 'o 'he a''acks
4. A0sence of Agorapho0ia
". PANIC DISORDER 9ITH AGORAPHO5IA
A. Cri'erion A for Panic Disorder 8i'hou' Agorapho0ia is me'.
4. The presence of Agorapho0ia.
112
%/+ AGORAPHO5IA 9ITHOUT HISTOR: OF PANIC DISORDER
A. The presence of Agorapho0ia rela'ed 'o fear of de+eloping panic-like symp'oms ;e.g.<
diAAiness or diarrhoea>.
4. Cri'eria ha+e ne+er 0een me' for Panic Disorder.
%;+ SPECIFIC PHO5IA %FORMERL: SIMPLE PHO5IA+
A. Marked and persis'en' fear 'ha' is e/cessi+e or unreasona0le< cued 0y 'he presence or
an'icipa'ion of a specific o0Eec' or si'ua'ion ;e.g.< flying< heigh's< animals< recei+ing an
inEec'ion< seeing 0lood>.
4. &/posure 'o 'he pho0ic s'imulus almos' in+aria0ly pro+okes an immedia'e an/ie'y response<
8hich may 'ake 'he form of a si'ua'ionally 0ound or si'ua'ionally predisposed Panic A''ack.
!o'e: -n children< 'he an/ie'y may 0e e/pressed 0y crying< 'an'rums< freeAing< or clinging.
;)ears are +ery common< par'icularly in childhood< 0u' 'hey do no' 8arran' a diagnosis of
specific pho0ia unless 'here is significan' in'erference 8i'h social< educa'ional< or
occupa'ional func'ioning or marked dis'ress a0ou' ha+ing 'he pho0ia>.
C. The person recogniAes 'ha' 'he fear is e/cessi+e or unreasona0le. !o'e: -n children< 'his
fea'ure may 0e a0sen'.
D. The pho0ic si'ua'ion;s> is a+oided or else is endured 8i'h in'ense an/ie'y or dis'ress.
&. The a+oidance< an/ious an'icipa'ion< or dis'ress in 'he feared si'ua'ion;s> in'erferes
significan'ly 8i'h 'he personBs normal rou'ine< occupa'ional ;or academic> func'ioning< or
social ac'i+i'ies or rela'ionships< or 'here is marked dis'ress a0ou' ha+ing 'he pho0ia.
). -n indi+iduals under age 12 years< 'he dura'ion is a' leas' 1 mon'hs.
Ani&l T*'e: This su0'ype should 0e specified if 'he fear is cued 0y animals or insec's. This
su0'ype generally has a childhood onse'.
N#url En@ir$n&en# T*'e: This su0'ype should 0e specified if 'he fear is cued 0y o0Eec's in
'he na'ural en+ironmen'< such as s'orms< heigh's< or 8a'er. This su0'ype generally has a childhood
onse'.
5l$$d7InIec#i$n7InIur* T*'e: This su0'ype should 0e specified if 'he fear is cued 0y seeing
0lood or an inEury or 0y recei+ing an inEec'ion or o'her in+asi+e medical procedure. This su0'ype is
highly familial and is of'en charac'eriAed 0y a s'rong +aso+agal response.
Si#u#i$nl T*'e: This su0'ype should 0e specified if 'he fear is cued 0y a specific si'ua'ion
such as pu0lic 'ranspor'a'ion< 'unnels< 0ridges< ele+a'ors< flying< dri+ing< or enclosed places. This
su0'ype has a 0imodal age-a'-onse' dis'ri0u'ion< 8i'h one peak in childhood and ano'her peak in 'he
mid-#6s. This su0'ype appears 'o 0e similar 'o Panic Disorder ?i'h Agorapho0ia in i's charac'eris'ic
se/ ra'ios< familial aggrega'ion pa''ern< and age a' onse'.
O#!er T*'e: This su0'ype should 0e specified if 'he fear is cued 0y o'her s'imuli. These s'imuli
migh' include 'he fear or a+oidance of si'ua'ions 'ha' migh' lead 'o choking< +omi'ing< or con'rac'ing an
illnessK CspaceB pho0ia ;i.e.< 'he indi+idual is afraid of falling do8n if a8ay from 8alls or o'her means of
physical suppor'>K and childrenBs fear of loud sounds or cos'umed charac'ers.
%-+ SOCIAL PHO5IA %SOCIAL ANGIET: DISORDER+
A. A marked and persis'en' fear of one or more social or performance si'ua'ions in 8hich 'he
person is e/posed 'o unfamiliar people or 'o possi0le scru'iny 0y o'hers. The indi+idual fears
113
'ha' he or she 8ill ac' in a 8ay ;or sho8 an/ie'y symp'oms> 'ha' 8ill 0e humilia'ing or
em0arrassing. !o'e: -n children< 'here mus' 0e e+idence of 'he capaci'y for age-appropria'e
social rela'ionships 8i'h familiar people and 'he an/ie'y mus' occur in peer se''ings< no' Eus' in
in'erac'ions 8i'h adul's.
4. &/posure 'o 'he feared social si'ua'ion almos' in+aria0ly pro+okes an/ie'y< 8hich may 'ake 'he
form of a si'ua'ionally 0ound or si'ua'ionally predisposed Panic A''ack. !o'e: -n children< 'he
an/ie'y may 0e e/pressed 0y crying< 'an'rum< freeAing< or shrinking from social si'ua'ions 8i'h
unfamiliar people.
C. The person recogniAes 'ha' 'he fear is e/cessi+e or unreasona0le. !o'e: -n children< 'his fea'ure
may 0e a0sen'.
D. The feared social or performance si'ua'ions are a+oided or else are endured 8i'h in'ense an/ie'y
or dis'ress.
&. The a+oidance< an/ious an'icipa'ion< or dis'ress in 'he feared social or performance si'ua'ion;s>
in'erferes significan'ly 8i'h 'he personBs normal rou'ine< occupa'ional ;academic> func'ioning<
or social ac'i+i'ies or rela'ionships< or 'here is marked dis'ress a0ou' ha+ing 'he pho0ia.
). -n indi+iduals under age 12 years< 'he dura'ion is a' leas' 1 mon'hs.
.+ O5SESSI6E7COMPULSI6E DISORDER
884
@ne migh' 8onder 8hy @0sessi+e-Compulsi+e Disorder ;@CD> is classified among 'he An/ie'y
Disorders. -' is done 0ecause 1. an/ie'y is of'en associa'ed 8i'h o0sessions and resis'ance 'o
compulsions< #. an/ie'y or 'ensions is of'en immedia'ely relie+ed 0y yielding 'o compulsions< and *.
@CD of'en occurs in associa'ion 8i'h o'her An/ie'y Disorders. 7o8e+er 'he na'ure of an/ie'y in @CD
is dis'inc' from 'ha' in o'her An/ie'y Disorders.
O5SESSI6E7COMPULSI6E DISORDER
A. &i'her o0sessions or compulsions:
@0sessions as defined 0y ;1>< ;#>< ;*>< and ;,>:
;1> recurren' and persis'en' 'hough's< impulses< or images 'ha' are e/perienced< a' some
'ime during 'he dis'ur0ance< as in'rusi+e and inappropria'e and 'ha' cause marked
an/ie'y or dis'ress
;#> 'he 'hough's< impulses< or images are no' simply e/cessi+e 8orries a0ou' real-life
pro0lems
;*> 'he person a''emp's 'o ignore or suppress such 'hough's< impulses< or images< or 'o
neu'raliAe 'hem 8i'h some o'her 'hough' or ac'ion
;,> 'he person recogniAes 'ha' 'he o0sessional 'hough's< impulses< or images are a
produc' of his or her o8n mind ;no' imposed from 8i'hou' as in 'hough' inser'ion>
Compulsion as defined 0y ;1> and ;#>
;1> repe'i'i+e 0eha+iours ;e.g.< hand 8ashing< ordering< checking> or men'al ac's ;e.g.<
praying< coun'ing< repea'ing 8ords silen'ly> 'ha' 'he person feels dri+en 'o perform
in response 'o an o0session< or according 'o rules 'ha' mus' 0e applied rigidly
;#> 'he 0eha+iours or men'al ac's are aimed a' pre+en'ing or reducing dis'ress or
pre+en'ing some dreaded e+en' or si'ua'ionK ho8e+er< 'hese 0eha+iours or men'al
ac's ei'her are no' connec'ed in a realis'ic 8ay 8i'h 8ha' 'hey are designed 'o
neu'raliAe or pre+en' or are clearly e/cessi+e
4. A' some poin' during 'he course of 'he disorder< 'he person has recogniAed 'ha' 'he o0sessions
or compulsions are e/cessi+e or unreasona0le. !o'e: This does no' apply 'o children.
C. The o0sessions or compulsions cause marked dis'ress< are 'ime consuming ;'ake more 'han 1
hour a day>< or significan'ly in'erfere 8i'h 'he personBs normal rou'ine< occupa'ional ;or
academic> func'ioning< or usual social ac'i+i'ies or rela'ionships.
1#6
1+ POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER %PTD+
882
A. The person has 0een e/posed 'o a 'rauma'ic e+en' in 8hich 0o'h of 'he follo8ing 8ere presen':
;1> 'he person e/perienced< 8i'nessed< or 8as confron'ed 8i'h an e+en' or e+en's 'ha' in+ol+ed ac'ual or
'hrea'ened dea'h or serious inEury< or a 'hrea' 'o 'he physical in'egri'y of self or o'hers
;#> 'he personBs response in+ol+ed in'ense fear< helplessness< or horror. !o'e: -n children< 'his may 0e
e/pressed ins'ead 0y disorganiAed or agi'a'ed 0eha+iour
4. The 'rauma'ic e+en' is persis'en'ly ree/perienced in one ;or more> of 'he follo8ing 8ays:
;1> recurren' and in'rusi+e dis'ressing recollec'ions of 'he e+en'< including images< 'hough's< or
percep'ions. !o'e: -n young children< repe'i'i+e play may occur in 8hich 'hemes or aspec's
of 'he 'rauma are e/pressed.
;#> =ecurren' dis'ressing dreams of 'he e+en'. !o'e: -n children< 'here may 0e frigh'ening
dreams 8i'hou' recogniAa0le con'en'.
;*> Ac'ing or feeling as if 'he 'rauma'ic e+en' 8ere recurring ;includes a sense of reli+ing 'he
e/perience< illusions< hallucina'ions< and dissocia'i+e flash0ack episodes< including 'hose
'ha' occur on a8akening or 8hen in'o/ica'ed>. -n young children 'rauma-specific
reenac'men' may occur.
;,> -n'ense psychological dis'ress a' e/posure 'o in'ernal or e/'ernal cues 'ha' sym0oliAe or
resem0le an aspec' of 'he 'rauma'ic e+en'.
;.> Physiological reac'i+i'y on e/posure 'o in'ernal or e/'ernal cues 'ha' sym0oliAe or resem0le
an aspec' of 'he 'rauma'ic e+en'.
C. Persis'en' a+oidance of s'imuli associa'ed 8i'h 'he 'rauma and num0ing of general responsi+eness
;no' presen' 0efore 'he 'rauma>< as indica'ed 0y 'hree ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> effor's 'o a+oid 'hough's< feelings< or con+ersa'ions associa'ed 8i'h 'he 'rauma
;#> effor's 'o a+oid ac'i+i'ies< places< or people 'ha' arouse recollec'ions of 'he 'rauma
;*> ina0ili'y 'o recall an impor'an' aspec' of 'he 'rauma
;,> markedly diminished in'eres' or par'icipa'ion in significan' ac'i+i'ies
;.> feeling of de'achmen' or es'rangemen' from o'hers
;1> res'ric'ed range of affec' ;e.g.< una0le 'o ha+e lo+ing feelings>
;7> sense of foreshor'ened fu'ure ;e.g.< does no' e/pec' 'o ha+e a career< marriage< children< or a
normal life span>
D. Persis'en' symp'oms of increased arousal ;no' presen' 0efore 'he 'rauma>< as indica'ed 0y '8o ;or
;1> difficul'y falling or s'aying asleep
;#> irri'a0ili'y or ou'0urs's of anger
;*> difficul'y concen'ra'ing
;,> hyper+igilance
;.> e/aggera'ed s'ar'le response
&. Dura'ion of 'he dis'ur0ance ;symp'oms in Cri'eria 4< C< and D> is more 'han 1 mon'h.
). The dis'ur0ance causes clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or o'her
impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
$pecify if:
Acu'e: if dura'ion of symp'oms is less 'han * mon'hs
Chronic: if dura'ion of symp'oms is * mon'hs or more
$pecify if:
?i'h Delayed @nse': if onse' of symp'oms is a' leas' 1 mon'hs af'er 'he s'ressor
/+ ACUTE STRESS DISORDER
8.0
A. The person has 0een e/posed 'o a 'rauma'ic e+en' in 8hich 0o'h of 'he follo8ing 8ere presen':
1#1
;1> 'he person e/perienced< 8i'nessed< or 8as confron'ed 8i'h an e+en' or e+en's 'ha' in+ol+ed
ac'ual or 'hrea'ened dea'h or serious inEury< or a 'hrea' 'o 'he physical in'egri'y of self or
o'hers
;#> 'he personBs response in+ol+ed in'ense fear< helplessness< or horror
4. &i'her 8hile e/periencing or af'er e/periencing 'he dis'ressing e+en'< 'he indi+idual has 'hree ;or
more> of 'he follo8ing dissocia'i+e symp'oms:
;1> a su0Eec'i+e sense of num0ing< de'achmen'< or a0sence of emo'ional responsi+eness
;#> reduc'ion in a8areness of his or her surroundings ;e.g.< C0eing in a daAeB>
;*> derealisa'ion
;,> depersonalisa'ion
;.> dissocia'i+e amnesia ;i.e.< ina0ili'y 'o recall an impor'an' aspec' of 'he 'rauma>
C. The 'rauma'ic e+en' is persis'en'ly ree/perienced in a' leas' one of 'he follo8ing 8ays: recurren'
images< 'hough's< dreams< illusions< flash0ack episodes< or a sense of reli+ing 'he e/perienceK or
dis'ress on e/posure 'o reminders of 'he 'rauma'ic e+en'.
D. Marked a+oidance of s'imuli 'ha' arouse recollec'ions of 'he 'rauma ;e.g.< 'hough's< feelings<
con+ersa'ions< ac'i+i'ies< places< people>.
&. Marked symp'oms of an/ie'y or increased arousal ;e.g.< difficul'y sleeping< irri'a0ili'y< poor
concen'ra'ion< hyper+igilance< e/aggera'ed s'ar'le response< mo'or res'lessness>.
). The dis'ur0ance causes clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or o'her
impor'an' areas of func'ioning or impairs 'he indi+idualBs a0ili'y 'o pursue some necessary 'ask<
such as o0'aining necessary assis'ance or mo0iliAing personal resources 0y 'elling family
mem0ers a0ou' 'he 'rauma'ic e/perience.
9. The dis'ur0ance las's for a minimum of # days and a ma/imum of , 8eeks and occurs 8i'hin ,
8eeks of 'he 'rauma'ic e+en'.
;+ GENERALI=ED ANGIET: DISORDER
9eneraliAed an/ie'y disorder ;9AD> is 'he main diagnos'ic ca'egory for prominen' and chronic
an/ie'y in 'he a0sence of panic disorder. The essen'ial fea'ure of 'his syndrome is persis'en' an/ie'y
las'ing a' leas' 1 mon'hs. The symp'oms of 'his 'ype of an/ie'y fall 8i'hin '8o 0road ca'egories:
apprehensi+e e/pec'a'ion and physical symp'oms.
Pa'ien's 8i'h 9AD are cons'an'ly 8orried o+er 'ri+ial ma''ers< fearful< and an'icipa'ing 'he
8ors'. Muscle 'ension< res'lessness< feeling keyed up ;hyper+igilance>< difficul'y concen'ra'ing<
insomnia< irri'a0ili'y< and fa'igue are symp'oms for 9AD. Mo'or 'ension and hyper+igilance 0e''er
differen'ia'e 9AD from an/ie'y s'a'es 'han does au'onomic hyperac'i+i'y.
<. DISSOCIATI6E DISORDER
8.8
8+ DISSOCIATI6E AMNESIA
A. The predominan' dis'ur0ance is one or more episodes of ina0ili'y 'o recall impor'an' personal
informa'ion< usually of a 'rauma'ic or s'ressful na'ure< 'ha' is 'oo e/'ensi+e 'o 0e e/plained 0y
ordinary forge'fulness.
4. The dis'ur0ance does no' occur e/clusi+ely during 'he course of Dissocia'i+e -den'i'y Disorder<
Dissocia'i+e )ugue< Pos''rauma'ic $'ress Disorder< Acu'e $'ress Disorder< or $oma'isa'ion
Disorder and is no' due 'o 'he direc' physiological effec's of a su0s'ance ;e.g.< a drug of a0use<
a medica'ion> or a neurological or o'her general medical condi'ion ;e.g.< Amnesic Disorder
Due 'o 7ead Trauma>.
.+ DISSOCIATI6E FUGUE
1##
A. The predominan' dis'ur0ance is sudden< une/pec'ed 'ra+el a8ay from home or oneBs cus'omary
place of 8ork< 8i'h ina0ili'y 'o recall oneBs pas'.
4. Confusion a0ou' personal iden'i'y or assump'ion of a ne8 iden'i'y ;par'ial or comple'e>.
1+ DISSOCIATI6E IDENTIT: DISORDER
A. The presence of '8o or more dis'inc' iden'i'ies or personali'y s'a'es ;each 8i'h i's o8n
rela'i+ely enduring pa''ern of percei+ing< rela'ing 'o< and 'hinking a0ou' 'he en+ironmen' and
self>.
4. A' leas' '8o of 'hese iden'i'ies or personali'y s'a'es recurren'ly 'ake con'rol of 'he personBs
0eha+iour.
C. -na0ili'y 'o recall impor'an' personal informa'ion 'ha' is 'oo e/'ensi+e 'o 0e e/plained 0y
ordinary forge'fulness.
/+ DEPERSONALISATION DISORDER
A. Persis'en' or recurren' e/periences of feeling de'ached from< and as if one is an ou'side
o0ser+er of< oneBs men'al processes or 0ody ;e.g.< feeling like one is in a dream>.
4. During 'he depersonalisa'ion e/perience< reali'y 'es'ing remains in'ac'.
;+ DISSOCIATI6E TRANCE DISORDER %RESEARCH CRITERIA+
A. &i'her ;1> or ;#>:
;1> Trance< i.e.< 'emporary marked al'era'ion in 'he s'a'e of consciousness or loss of
cus'omary sense of personal iden'i'y 8i'hou' replacemen' 0y an al'erna'e iden'i'y<
associa'ed 8i'h a' leas' one of 'he follo8ing:
;a> narro8ing of a8areness of immedia'e surroundings< or unusually
narro8 and selec'i+e focusing on en+ironmen'al s'imuli
;0> s'ereo'yped 0eha+iours or mo+emen's 'ha' are e/perienced as 0eing
0eyond oneBs con'rol
;#> possession 'rance< a single or episodic al'era'ion in 'he s'a'e of consciousness
charac'eriAed 0y 'he replacemen' of cus'omary sense of personal iden'i'y 0y a ne8
iden'i'y. This is a''ri0u'ed 'o 'he influence of a spiri'< po8er< dei'y< or o'her person<
as e+idenced 0y one ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;a> s'ereo'yped and cul'urally de'ermined 0eha+iours or mo+emen's 'ha' are
e/perienced as 0eing con'rolled 0y 'he possessing agen'
;0> full or par'ial amnesia for 'he e+en'
4. The 'rance or possession 'rance s'a'e is no' accep'ed as a normal par' of a collec'i+e cul'ural or
religious prac'ice.
;This dissocia'i+e 'rance disorder should no' 0e considered in indi+iduals 8ho en'er 'rance or
possession s'a'es +olun'arily and 8i'hou' dis'ress or impairmen' in 'he con'e/' of cul'ural and religious
prac'ices.>
4. IMPULSE CONTROL DISORDERS
8..
8+ THE COMMON FEATURES OF ALL IMPULSE DISORDERS
1#*
1. )ailure 'o resis' an impulse< dri+e< or 'emp'a'ion 'o perform some ac' 'ha' is harmful 'o 'he
person or o'hers
#. An increasing sense of 'ension or arousal 0efore commi''ing 'he ac'
*. A sense of pleasure< gra'ifica'ion< or release a' 'he 'ime of commi''ing 'he ac'< or shor'ly
'hereaf'er
.+ INTERMITTENT EGPLOSI6E DISORDER
A. $e+eral discre'e episodes of failure 'o resis' aggressi+e impulses 'ha' resul' in serious
assaul'i+e ac's or des'ruc'ion of proper'y.
4. The degree of aggressi+eness e/pressed during 'he episodes is grossly ou' of propor'ion 'o
any precipi'a'ing psychological s'ressors.
1+ KLEPTOMANIA
A. =ecurren' failure 'o resis' impulses 'o s'eal o0Eec's 'ha' are no' needed for personal use or for
'heir mone'ary +alue.
4. -ncreasing sense of 'ension immedia'ely 0efore commi''ing 'he 'hef'.
C. Pleasure< gra'ifica'ion< or relief a' 'he 'ime of commi''ing 'he 'hef'.
D. The s'ealing is no' commi''ed 'o e/press anger or +engeance and is no' in response 'o a
delusion or a hallucina'ion.
/+ P:ROMANIA
A. Deli0era'e and purposeful fire se''ing on more 'han one occasion.
4. Tension or affec'i+e arousal 0efore 'he ac'.
C. )ascina'ion 8i'h< in'eres' in< curiosi'y a0ou'< or a''rac'ion 'o fire and i's si'ua'ional con'e/'s
;e.g.< paraphernalia< uses< consequences>.
D. Pleasure< gra'ifica'ion< or relief 8hen se''ing fires< or 8hen 8i'nessing or par'icipa'ing in 'heir
af'erma'h.
&. The fire se''ing is no' done for mone'ary gain< as an e/pression of sociopoli'ical ideology< 'o
conceal criminal ac'i+i'y< 'o e/press anger or +engeance< 'o impro+e oneBs li+ing
circums'ances< in response 'o a delusion or hallucina'ion< or as a resul' of impaired Eudgmen'
;e.g.< in demen'ia< Men'al =e'arda'ion< $u0s'ance -n'o/ica'ion>.
;+ PATHOLOGICAL GAM5LING
IPersis'en' and recurren' maladap'i+e gam0ling 0eha+iour as indica'ed 0y fi+e ;or more> of 'he
follo8ing:
;1> is preoccupied 8i'h gam0ling ;e.g.< preoccupied 8i'h reli+ing pas' gam0ling
e/periences< handicapping or planning 'he ne/' +en'ure< or 'hinking of 8ays 'o ge'
money 8i'h 8hich 'o gam0le>
;#> needs 'o gam0le 8i'h increasing amoun's of money in order 'o achie+e 'he desired
e/ci'emen'
;*> has repea'ed unsuccessful effor's 'o con'rol< cu' 0ack< or s'op gam0ling
;,> is res'less or irri'a0le 8hen a''emp'ing 'o cu' do8n or s'op gam0ling
;.> gam0les as a 8ay of escaping from pro0lems or of relie+ing a dysphoric mood ;e.g.<
feelings of helplessness< guil'< an/ie'y< depression>
1#,
;1> af'er losing money gam0ling< of'en re'urns ano'her day 'o ge' e+en ;CchasingB oneBs
loses>
;7> lies 'o family mem0ers< 'herapis'< or o'hers 'o conceal 'he e/'en' of in+ol+emen' 8i'h
gam0ling
;2> has commi''ed illegal ac's such as forgery< fraud< 'hef'< or em0eAAlemen' 'o finance
gam0ling
;3> has EeopardiAed or los' a significan' rela'ionship< Eo0< or educa'ional or career
oppor'uni'y 0ecause of gam0ling
;16> relies on o'hers 'o pro+ide money 'o relie+e a despera'e financial si'ua'ion caused 0y
gam0ling
-+ TRICHOTILLOMANIA
A. =ecurren' pulling ou' of oneBs hair resul'ing in no'icea0le hair loss.
4. An increasing sense of 'ension immedia'ely 0efore pulling ou' 'he hair or 8hen a''emp'ing 'o
resis' 'he 0eha+iour.
C. Pleasure< gra'ifica'ion< or relief 8hen pulling ou' 'he hair.
2. SOMATOFORM DISORDERS
8.1
8+ SOMATI=ATION DISORDER
A. A his'ory of many physical complain's 0eginning 0efore age *6 years 'ha' occur o+er a period
of se+eral years and resul' in 'rea'men' 0eing sough' or significan' impairmen' in social<
occupa'ional< or o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
4. &ach of 'he follo8ing cri'eria mus' ha+e 0een me'< 8i'h indi+idual symp'oms occurring a' any
'ime during 'he course of 'he dis'ur0ance:
;1> four pain symp'oms: a his'ory of pain rela'ed 'o a' leas' four differen' si'es or
func'ions ;e.g.< head< a0domen< 0ack< Eoin's e/'remi'ies< ches'< rec'um< during
mens'rua'ion< during se/ual in'ercourse< or during urina'ion>
;#> '8o gas'roin'es'inal symp'oms: a his'ory of a' leas' '8o gas'roin'es'inal symp'oms
o'her 'han pain ;e.g.< nausea< 0loa'ing< +omi'ing o'her 'han during pregnancy<
diarrhoea< or in'olerance of se+eral differen' foods>
;*> one se/ual symp'om: a his'ory of a' leas' one se/ual or reproduc'i+e symp'oms o'her
'han pain ;e.g.< se/ual indifference< erec'ile or eEacula'ory dysfunc'ion< irregular
menses< e/cessi+e mens'rual 0leeding< +omi'ing 'hroughou' pregnancy>
;,> one pseudoneurological symp'om: a his'ory of a' leas' one symp'om or defici'
sugges'ing a neurological condi'ion no' limi'ed 'o pain ;con+ersion symp'oms such
as impaired coordina'ion or 0alance< paralysis or localiAed 8eakness< difficul'y
s8allo8ing or lump in 'hroa'< aphonia< urinary re'en'ion< hallucina'ions< loss of
'ouch or pain sensa'ion< dou0le +ision< 0lindness< deafness< seiAuresK dissocia'i+e
symp'oms such as amnesiaK or loss of consciousness o'her 'han fain'ing>
C. &i'her ;1> or ;#>:
;1> af'er appropria'e in+es'iga'ion< each of 'he symp'oms in Cri'eria 4 canno' 0e fully
e/plained 0y a kno8n general medical condi'ion or 'he direc' effec's of a su0s'ance
;e.g.< a drug of a0use< a medica'ion>
;#> 8hen 'here is a rela'ed general medical condi'ion< 'he physical complain's or
resul'ing social or occupa'ional impairmen' are in e/cess of 8ha' 8ould 0e e/pec'ed
from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings
D. The symp'oms are no' in'en'ionally produced or feigned ;as in )ac'i'ious Disorder or
Malingering>.
.+ UNDIFFERENTIATED SOMATOFORM DISORDER
1#.
A. @ne or more physical complain's ;e.g.< fa'igue< loss of appe'i'e< gas'roin'es'inal or urinary
complain's>.
4. &i'her ;1> or ;#>:
;1> af'er appropria'e in+es'iga'ion< 'he symp'oms canno' 0e fully e/plained 0y a kno8n
general medical condi'ion or 'he direc' effec's of a su0s'ance ;e.g.< a drug of a0use< a
medica'ion>
;#> 8hen 'here is a rela'ed general medical condi'ion< 'he physical complain's or
resul'ing social or occupa'ional impairmen' is in e/cess of 8ha' 8ould 0e e/pec'ed
from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings
C. The symp'oms cause clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or
o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
D. The dura'ion of 'he dis'ur0ance is a' leas' 1 mon'hs.
&. The symp'om is no' in'en'ionally produced or feigned ;as in )ac'i'ious Disorder or
Malingering>.
1+ CON6ERSION DISORDER
A. @ne or more symp'oms or defici's affec'ing +olun'ary mo'or or sensory func'ion 'ha' sugges' a
neurological or o'her general medical condi'ion.
4. Psychological fac'ors are Eudged 'o 0e associa'ed 8i'h 'he symp'om or defici' 0ecause 'he
ini'ia'ion or e/acer0a'ion of 'he symp'om or defici' is preceded 0y conflic's or o'her s'ressors.
C. The symp'om or defici' is no' in'en'ionally produced or feigned ;as in )ac'i'ious Disorder or
Malingering>.
D. The symp'om or defici' canno'< af'er appropria'e in+es'iga'ion< 0e fully e/plained 0y a general
medical condi'ion< or 0y 'he direc' effec's of a su0s'ance< or as a cul'urally sanc'ioned
0eha+iour or e/perience.
&. The symp'om or defici' causes clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social<
occupa'ional< or o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning or 8arran's medical e+alua'ion.
/+ PAIN DISORDER
A. Pain in one or more ana'omical si'es is 'he predominan' focus of 'he clinical presen'a'ion and is
of sufficien' se+eri'y 'o 8arran' clinical a''en'ion.
4. The pain causes clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or o'her
C. Psychological fac'ors are Eudged 'o ha+e an impor'an' role in 'he onse'< se+eri'y< e/acer0a'ion<
or main'enance of 'he pain.
D. The symp'om or defici' is no' in'en'ionally produced or feigned ;as in )ac'i'ious Disorder or
Malingering>.
;+ H:POCHONDRIASIS
A. Preoccupa'ion 8i'h fears of ha+ing< or 'he idea 'ha' one has< a serious disease 0ased on 'he
personBs misin'erpre'a'ion of 0odily symp'oms.
4. The preoccupa'ion persis's despi'e appropria'e medical e+alua'ion and reassurance.
C. The 0elief in Cri'erion A is no' of delusional in'ensi'y ;as in Delusional Disorder< $oma'ic
Type> and is no' res'ric'ed 'o a circumscri0ed concern a0ou' appearance ;as in 4ody
Dysmorphic Disorder>.
D. The preoccupa'ion causes clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional<
or o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
&. The dura'ion of 'he dis'ur0ance is a' leas' 1 mon'hs.
1#1
-+ 5OD: D:SMORPHIC DISORDER
Preoccupa'ion 8i'h an imagined defec' in appearance. -f a sligh' physical anomaly is
presen'< 'he personBs concern is markedly e/cessi+e.
80. SLEEP DISORDERS
$leep Disorders can 0e organiAed in'o four maEor sec'ions according 'o 'he presumed ae'iology.
They are 1. Primary $leep Disorders 8hich arise from endogenous a0normali'ies in sleep-8ake
genera'ing or 'iming mechanisms< of'en complica'ed 0y condi'ioning fac'ors 8i'h i's su0di+isions as a.
Dyssomnias ;charac'eriAed 0y a0normali'ies in 'he amoun'< quali'y< or 'iming of sleep and 0.
Parasomnias ;charac'eriAed 0y a0normal 0eha+ioural or physiological e+en's occurring in associa'ion
8i'h sleep< specific sleep s'ages< or sleep-8ake 'ransi'ions>. #. $leep Disorder =ela'ed 'o Ano'her
Men'al Disorder. *. $leep Disorder Due 'o a general Medical Condi'ion. ,. $u0s'ance--nduced $leep
Disorder. 7o8e+er< in 'his 0ook 8e shall consider only 'he firs' one P Primary $leep Disorders.
PRIMAR: SLEEP DISORDERS
A. D:SSOMNIAS
8./
8+ PRIMAR: INSOMNIA
The predominan' complain' is difficul'y ini'ia'ing or main'aining sleep< or nonres'ora'i+e sleep<
for a' leas' 1 mon'h.
.+ PRIMAR: H:PERSOMNIA
The predominan' complain' is e/cessi+e sleepiness for a' leas' 1 mon'h ;or less if recurren'> as
e+idenced 0y ei'her prolonged sleep episodes or day'ime sleep episodes 'ha' occur almos' daily.
1+ NARCOLEPS:
A. -rresis'i0le a''acks of refreshing sleep 'ha' occur daily o+er a' leas' * mon'hs
4. The presence of one or 0o'h of 'he follo8ing:
;1> ca'aple/y ;i.e.< 0rief episodes of sudden 0ila'eral loss of muscle 'one< mos' of'en in
associa'ion 8i'h in'ense emo'ion>
;#> recurren' in'rusions of elemen's of rapid eye mo+emen' ;=&M> sleep in'o 'he
'ransi'ion 0e'8een sleep and 8akefulness< as manifes'ed 0y ei'her hypnopompic or
hypnagogic hallucina'ions or sleep paralysis a' 'he 0eginning or end of sleep
episodes
/+ 5REATHING7RELATED SLEEP DISORDER
$leep disrup'ion< leading 'o e/cessi+e sleepiness or insomnia< 'ha' is Eudged 'o 0e due 'o a sleep-
rela'ed 0rea'hing condi'ion ;e.g.< o0s'ruc'i+e or cen'ral sleep apnea syndrome or cen'ral al+eolar
hypo+en'ila'ion syndrome>.
;+ CIRCADIAN RH:THM SLEEP DISORDER
1#7
A persis'en' or recurren' pa''ern of sleep disrup'ion leading 'o e/cessi+e sleepiness or insomnia
'ha' is due 'o a misma'ch 0e'8een 'he sleep-8ake schedule required 0y a personBs en+ironmen' and his
or her circadian sleep-8ake pa''ern.
5. PARASOMNIAS
8.;
8+ NIGHTMARE DISORDER
A. =epea'ed a8akenings from 'he maEor sleep period or naps 8i'h de'ailed recall of e/'ended and
e/'remely frigh'ening dreams< usually in+ol+ing 'hrea's 'o sur+i+al< securi'y< or self-es'eem.
The a8akenings generally occur during 'he second half of 'he sleep period.
4. @n a8akening from 'he frigh'ening dreams< 'he person rapidly 0ecomes orien'ed and aler' ;in
con'ras' 'o 'he confusion and disorien'a'ion seen in $leep Terror Disorder and some forms of
epilepsy>.
C. The dream e/perience< or 'he sleep dis'ur0ance resul'ing from 'he a8akening< causes clinically
significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or o'her impor'an' areas of
func'ioning.
.+ SLEEP TERROR DISORDER
A. =ecurren' episodes of a0rup' a8akening from sleep< usually occurring during 'he firs' 'hird of
'he maEor sleep episode and 0eginning 8i'h a panicky scream.
4. -n'ense fear and signs of au'onomic arousal< such as 'achycardia< rapid 0rea'hing< and s8ea'ing<
during each episode.
C. =ela'i+e unresponsi+eness 'o effor's of o'hers 'o comfor' 'he person during 'he episode.
D. !o de'ailed dream is recalled and 'here is amnesia for 'he episode.
1+ SLEEP9ALKING DISORDER
A. =epea'ed episodes of rising from 0ed during sleep and 8alking a0ou'< usually occurring during
'he firs' 'hird of 'he maEor sleep episode.
4. ?hile sleep8alking< 'he person has a 0lank< s'aring face< is rela'i+ely unresponsi+e 'o 'he
effor's of o'hers 'o communica'e 8i'h him or her< and can 0e a8akened only 8i'h grea'
difficul'y.
C. @n a8akening ;ei'her from 'he sleep8alking episode or 'he ne/' morning>< 'he person has
amnesia for 'he episode.
D. ?i'hin se+eral minu'es af'er a8akening from 'he sleep8alking episode< 'here is no impairmen'
of men'al ac'i+i'y or 0eha+iour ;al'hough 'here may ini'ially 0e a shor' period of confusion or
disorien'a'ion>.
88. SEGUAL AND GENDER IDENTIT: DISORDERS
8+ SEGUAL DESIRE DISORDERS
8.-
%8+ H:POACTI6E SEGUAL DESIRE DISORDER
Persis'en'ly or recurren'ly deficien' ;or a0sen'> se/ual fan'asies and desire for se/ual ac'i+i'y.
The Eudgemen' of deficiency or a0sence is made 0y 'he clinician< 'aking in'o accoun' fac'ors 'ha' affec'
se/ual func'ioning< such as age and 'he con'e/' of 'he personBs life.
%.+ SEGUAL A6ERSION DISORDER
1#2
Persis'en' or recurren' e/'reme a+ersion 'o< and a+oidance of< all ;or almos' all> geni'al se/ual
con'ac' 8i'h a se/ual par'ner.
.+ SEGUAL AROUSAL DISORDERS
8.<
%8+ FEMALE SEGUAL AROUSAL DISORDER
Persis'en' or recurren' ina0ili'y 'o a''ain< or 'o main'ain un'il comple'ion of 'he se/ual ac'i+i'y<
an adequa'e lu0rica'ion-s8elling response of se/ual e/ci'emen'.
%.+ MALE ERECTILE DISORDER
Persis'en' or recurren' ina0ili'y 'o a''ain< or 'o main'ain un'il comple'ion of 'he se/ual ac'i+i'y<
an adequa'e erec'ion.
1+ ORGASMIC DISORDERS
8.4
%8+ FEMALE ORGASMIC DISORDER
Persis'en' or recurren' delay in< or a0sence of< orgasm follo8ing a normal se/ual e/ci'emen'
phase. ?omen e/hi0i' 8ide +aria0ili'y in 'he 'ype or in'ensi'y of s'imula'ion 'ha' 'riggers orgasm. The
diagnosis of )emale @rgasmic Disorder should 0e 0ased on 'he clinicianBs Eudgemen' 'ha' 'he 8omanBs
orgasmic capaci'y is less 'han 8ould 0e reasona0le for her age< se/ual e/perience< and 'he adequacy of
se/ual s'imula'ion she recei+es.
%.+ MALE ORGASMIC DISORDER
Persis'en' or recurren' delay in< or a0sence of< orgasm follo8ing a normal se/ual e/ci'emen'
phase during se/ual ac'i+i'y 'ha' 'he clinician< 'aking in'o accoun' 'he personBs age< Eudges 'o 0e
adequa'e in focus< in'ensi'y< and dura'ion.
%1+ PREMATURE E3ACULATION
Persis'en' or recurren' eEacula'ion 8i'h minimal se/ual s'imula'ion 0efore< on< or shor'ly af'er
pene'ra'ion and 0efore 'he person 8ishes i'. The clinician mus' 'ake in'o accoun' fac'ors 'ha' affec'
dura'ion of 'he e/ci'emen' phase< such as age< no+el'y of 'he se/ual par'ner or si'ua'ion< and recen'
frequency of se/ual ac'i+i'y.
/+ SEGUAL PAIN DISORDERS
8.2
%8+ D:SPAREUNIA
=ecurren' or persis'en' geni'al pain associa'ed 8i'h se/ual in'ercourse in ei'her a male or a
female.
;.+ 6AGINISMUS
=ecurren' or persis'en' in+olun'ary spasm of 'he muscula'ure of 'he ou'er 'hird of 'he +agina 'ha'
in'erferes 8i'h se/ual in'ercourse.
1#3
;+ PARAPHILIAS
810
%8+ EGHI5ITIONISM
@+er a period of a' leas' 1 mon'hs< recurren'< in'ense se/ually arousing fan'asies< se/ual urges<
or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing 'he e/posure of oneBs geni'als 'o an unsuspec'ing s'ranger.
%.+ FETISHISM
@+er a period of a' leas' 1 mon'hs< recurren'< in'ense se/ually arousing fan'asies< se/ual urges< or
0eha+iours in+ol+ing 'he use of nonli+ing o0Eec's ;e.g.< female undergarmen's>.
The fe'ish o0Eec's are no' limi'ed 'o ar'icles of female clo'hing used in cross-dressing ;as in
Trans+es'ic )e'ishism> or de+ices designed for 'he purpose of 'ac'ile geni'al s'imula'ion ;e.g.< a
+i0ra'or>.
%1+ FROTTEURISM
or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing 'ouching and ru00ing agains' a nonconsen'ing person.
%/+ PEDOPHILIA
A. @+er a period of a' leas' 1 mon'hs< recurren'< in'ense se/ually arousing fan'asies< se/ual urges<
or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing se/ual ac'i+i'y 8i'h a prepu0escen' child or children ;generally age 1*
years or younger>.
4. The person is a' leas' age 11 years and a' leas' . years older 'han 'he child or children in
Cri'erion A.
!o'e: do no' include an indi+idual in la'e adolescence in+ol+ed in an ongoing se/ual rela'ionship 8i'h a
1#- or 1*-year-old.
%;+ SEGUAL MASOCHISM
or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing 'he ac' ;real< no' simula'ed> of 0eing humilia'ed< 0ea'en< 0ound< or o'her8ise
made 'o suffer.

%-+ SEGUAL SADISM
or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing ac's ;real< no' simula'ed> in 8hich 'he psychological or physical suffering
;including humilia'ion> of 'he +ic'im is se/ually e/ci'ing 'o 'he person.
%<+ TRANS6ESTIC FETISHISM
@+er a period of a' leas' 1 mon'hs< in a he'erose/ual male< recurren'< in'ense se/ually arousing
fan'asies< se/ual urges< or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing cross-dressing.
1*6
%4+ 6O:EURISM
or 0eha+iours in+ol+ing 'he ac' of o0ser+ing an unsuspec'ing person 8ho is naked< in 'he process of
disro0ing< or engaging in se/ual ac'i+i'y.

-+ GENDER IDENTIT: DISORDERS
818
A. A s'rong and persis'en' cross-gender iden'ifica'ion ;no' merely a desire for any percei+ed
cul'ural ad+an'ages of 0eing 'he o'her se/>.
-n Children< 'he dis'ur0ance is manifes'ed 0y four ;or more> of 'he follo8ing:
;1> =epea'edly s'a'ed desire 'o 0e< or insis'ence 'ha' he or she is< 'he o'her se/
;#> -n 0oys< preference for cross-dressing or simula'ing female a''ireK in girls< insis'ence
on 8earing only s'ereo'ypical masculine clo'hing
;*> $'rong and persis'en' preferences for cross-se/ roles in make-0elie+e play or
persis'en' fan'asies of 0eing 'he o'her se/
;,> -n'ense desire 'o par'icipa'e in 'he s'ereo'ypical games and pas'imes of 'he o'her se/
;.> $'rong preference for playma'es of 'he o'her se/
-n adolescen's and adul's< 'he dis'ur0ance is manifes'ed 0y symp'oms such as a s'a'ed desire 'o 0e 'he
o'her se/< frequen' passing as 'he o'her se/< desire 'o li+e or 0e 'rea'ed as 'he o'her se/< or 'he con+ic'ion
'ha' he or she has 'he 'ypical feelings and reac'ions of 'he o'her se/.
4. Persis'en' discomfor' 8i'h his or her se/ or sense of inappropria'eness in 'he gender role of 'ha'
se/.
-n children< 'he dis'ur0ance is manifes'ed 0y any of 'he follo8ing: in 0oys< asser'ion 'ha' his penis or
'es'es are disgus'ing or 8ill disappear or asser'ion 'ha' i' 8ould 0e 0e''er no' 'o ha+e a penis< or a+ersion
'o8ard rough-and-'um0le play and reEec'ion of male s'ereo'ypical 'oys< games< and ac'i+i'iesK in girls<
reEec'ion of urina'ing in a si''ing posi'ion< asser'ion 'ha' she has or 8ill gro8 a penis< or asser'ion 'ha'
she does no' 8an' 'o gro8 0reas's or mens'rua'e< or marked a+ersion 'o8ard norma'i+e feminine
clo'hing.
-n adolescen's and adul's< 'he dis'ur0ance is manifes'ed 0y symp'oms such as preoccupa'ion 8i'h
ge''ing rid of primary and secondary se/ charac'eris'ics ;e.g.< reques' for hormones< surgery< or o'her
procedures 'o physically al'er se/ual charac'eris'ics 'o simula'e 'he o'her se/> or 0elief 'ha' he or she
8as 0orn 'he 8rong se/.
C. The dis'ur0ance is no' concurren' 8i'h a physical in'erse/ condi'ion.
8.. EATING DISORDERS
81.
8+ ANOREGIA NER6OSA
A. =efusal 'o main'ain 0ody 8eigh' a' or a0o+e a minimally normal 8eigh' for age and heigh'
;e.g.< 8eigh' loss leading 'o main'enance of 0ody 8eigh' less 'han 2.N of 'ha' e/pec'edK or
failure 'o make e/pec'ed 8eigh' gain during period of gro8'h< leading 'o 0ody 8eigh' less 'han
2.N of 'ha' e/pec'ed>.
4. -n'ense fear of gaining 8eigh' or 0ecoming fa'< e+en 'hough under8eigh'.
C. Dis'ur0ance in 'he 8ay in 8hich oneBs 0ody 8eigh' or shape is e/perienced< undue influence of
0ody 8eigh' or shape on self-e+alua'ion< or denial of 'he seriousness of 'he curren' lo8 0ody
8eigh'.
D. -n pos'menarcheal females< amenorrhea< i.e.< 'he a0sence of a' leas' 'hree consecu'i+e
mens'rual cycles. ;A 8oman is considered 'o ha+e amenorrhea if her periods occur only
follo8ing hormone< e.g.< es'rogen adminis'ra'ion.>
1*1
$pecify 'ype:
=es'ric'ing Type: during 'he curren' episode of Anore/ia !er+osa< 'he person has no' regularly engaged
in 0inge-ea'ing or purging 0eha+iour ;i.e.< self-induced +omi'ing or 'he misuse of la/a'i+es< diure'ics< or
enemas>
4inge-&a'ingHPurging Type: during 'he curren' episode of Anore/ia !er+osa< 'he person has regularly
engaged in 0inge-ea'ing or purging 0eha+iour ;i.e.< self-induced +omi'ing or 'he misuse of la/a'i+es<
diure'ics< or enemas>
.+ 5ULIMIA NER6OSA
A. =ecurren' episodes of 0inge ea'ing. An episode of 0inge ea'ing is charac'eriAed 0y 0o'h of 'he
follo8ing:
;1> ea'ing< in a discre'e period of 'ime ;e.g.< 8i'hin any #-hour period>< an amoun' of
food 'ha' is defini'ely larger 'han mos' people 8ould ea' during a similar period of
'ime and under similar circums'ances
;#> a sense of lack of con'rol o+er ea'ing during 'he episode ;e.g.< a feeling 'ha' one
canno' s'op ea'ing or con'rol 8ha' or ho8 much one is ea'ing>
4. =ecurren' inappropria'e compensa'ory 0eha+iour in order 'o pre+en' 8eigh' gain< such as self-
induced +omi'ingK misuse of la/a'i+es< diure'ics< enemas< or o'her medica'ionsK fas'ingK or
e/cessi+e e/ercise.
C. The 0inge ea'ing and inappropria'e compensa'ory 0eha+iours 0o'h occur< on a+erage< a' leas'
'8ice a 8eek for * mon'hs.
D. $elf-e+alua'ion is unduly influenced 0y 0ody shape and 8eigh'.
&. The dis'ur0ance does no' occur e/clusi+ely during episodes of Anore/ia !er+osa.
$pecify 'ype:
Purging Type: during 'he curren' episode of 4ulimia !er+osa< 'he person has regularly engaged in self-
induced +omi'ing or 'he misuse of la/a'i+es< diure'ics< or enemas
!onpurging Type: during 'he curren' episode of 4ulimia !er+osa< 'he person has used o'her
inappropria'e compensa'ory 0eha+iours< such as fas'ing or e/cessi+e e/ercise< 0u' has no' regularly
engaged in self-induced +omi'ing or 'he misuse of la/a'i+es< diure'ics< or enemas
81. AD3USTMENT DISORDERS
811
A. The de+elopmen' of emo'ional or 0eha+ioural symp'oms in response 'o an iden'ifia0le
s'ressor;s> occurring 8i'hin * mon'hs of 'he onse' of 'he s'ressor;s>.
4. These symp'oms or 0eha+iours are clinically significan' as e+idenced 0y ei'her of 'he
follo8ing:
;1> marked dis'ress 'ha' is in e/cess of 8ha' 8ould 0e e/pec'ed from e/posure 'o 'he
s'ressor
;#> significan' impairmen' in social or occupa'ional ;academic> func'ioning
C. The symp'oms do no' represen' 4erea+emen'.
D. @nce 'he s'ressor ;or i's consequences> has 'ermina'ed< 'he symp'oms do no' persis' for more
'han an addi'ional 1 mon'hs.
$pecify if:
Acu'e: if 'he dis'ur0ance las's less 'han 1 mon'hs
Chronic: if 'he dis'ur0ance las's for 1 mon'hs or longer
8/. FACTITIOUS DISORDERS
81/
8+ FACTITIOUS DISORDER
1*#
A. -n'en'ional produc'ion or feigning of physical or psychological signs or symp'oms.
4. The mo'i+a'ion for 'he 0eha+iour is 'o assume 'he sick role.
C. &/'ernal incen'i+es for 'he 0eha+iour ;such as economic gain< a+oiding legal responsi0ili'y< or
impro+ing physical 8ell-0eing< as in Malingering> are a0sen'.
.+ FACTITIOUS DISORDER 5: PROG: %RESEARCH CRITERIA+
A. -n'en'ional produc'ion or feigning of physical or psychological signs or symp'oms in ano'her
person 8ho is under 'he indi+idualBs care.
4. The mo'i+a'ion for 'he perpe'ra'orBs 0eha+iour is 'o assume 'he sick role 0y pro/y.
C. &/'ernal incen'i+es for 'he 0eha+iour ;such as economic gain> are a0sen'.
8;. SU5STANCE RELATED DISORDERS
81;
8+ SU5STANCE DEPENDENCE
A maladap'i+e pa''ern of su0s'ance use< leading 'o clinically significan' impairmen' or dis'ress< as
manifes'ed 0y 'hree ;or more> of 'he follo8ing< occurring a' any 'ime in 'he same 1#-mon'h period:
;1> 'olerance< as defined 0y ei'her of 'he follo8ing:
;a> a need for markedly increased amoun's of 'he su0s'ance 'o achie+e in'o/ica'ion or
desired effec'
;0> markedly diminished effec' 8i'h con'inued use of 'he same amoun' of 'he su0s'ance
;#> 8i'hdra8al< as manifes'ed 0y ei'her of 'he follo8ingK
;a> 'he charac'eris'ic 8i'hdra8al syndrome for 'he su0s'ance
;0> 'he same ;or a closely rela'ed> su0s'ance is 'aken 'o relie+e or a+oid 8i'hdra8al
symp'oms
;*> 'he su0s'ance is of'en 'aken in larger amoun's or o+er a longer period 'han 8as in'ended
;,> 'here is a persis'en' desire or unsuccessful effor's 'o cu' do8n or con'rol su0s'ance use
;.> a grea' deal of 'ime is spen' in ac'i+i'ies necessary 'o o0'ain 'he su0s'ance ;e.g.< +isi'ing
mul'iple doc'ors or dri+ing long dis'ances>< use 'he su0s'ance ;e.g.< chain-smoking>< or
reco+er from i's effec's
;1> impor'an' social< occupa'ional< or recrea'ional ac'i+i'ies are gi+en up or reduced 0ecause of
su0s'ance use
;7> 'he su0s'ance use is con'inued despi'e kno8ledge of ha+ing a persis'en' or recurren' physical
or physiological pro0lem 'ha' is likely 'o ha+e 0een caused or e/acer0a'ed 0y 'he su0s'ance
;e.g.< curren' cocaine use despi'e recogni'ion of cocaine-induced depression< or con'inued
drinking despi'e recogni'ion 'ha' an ulcer 8as made 8orse 0y alcohol consump'ion>
$pecify if:
?i'h Physiological Dependence: e+idence of 'olerance or 8i'hdra8al ;i.e.< ei'her -'em 1 or # is presen'>
or ?i'hou' Physiological Dependence: no e+idence of 'olerance or 8i'hdra8al ;i.e.< nei'her -'em 1 nor #
is presen'>
.+ SU5STANCE A5USE
A. A maladap'i+e pa''ern of su0s'ance use leading 'o clinically significan' impairmen' or dis'ress<
as manifes'ed 0y one ;or more> of 'he follo8ing< occurring 8i'hin a 1#-mon'h period:
1**
;1> recurren' su0s'ance use resul'ing in a failure 'o fulfil maEor role o0liga'ions a' 8ork<
school< or home ;e.g.< repea'ed a0sences or poor 8ork performance rela'ed 'o
su0s'ance useK su0s'ance-rela'ed a0sences< suspensions< or e/pulsions from schoolK
neglec' of children or household>
;#> recurren' su0s'ance use in si'ua'ions in 8hich i' is physically haAardous ;e.g.< dri+ing
an au'omo0ile or opera'ing a machine 8hen impaired 0y su0s'ance use>
;*> recurren' su0s'ance-rela'ed legal pro0lems ;e.g.< arres's for su0s'ance-rela'ed
disorderly conduc'>
;,> con'inued su0s'ance use despi'e ha+ing persis'en' or recurren' social or in'erpersonal
pro0lems caused or e/acer0a'ed 0y 'he effec's of 'he su0s'ance ;e.g.< argumen's 8i'h
spouse a0ou' consequences of in'o/ica'ion< physical figh's>
4. The symp'oms ha+e ne+er me' 'he cri'eria for $u0s'ance Dependence for 'his class of
su0s'ance.
1+ SU5STANCE INTOGICATION
A. The de+elopmen' of a re+ersi0le su0s'ance-specific syndrome due 'o recen' inges'ion of ;or
e/posure 'o> a su0s'ance. !o'e: Differen' su0s'ances may produce similar or iden'ical
syndromes.
4. Clinically significan' maladap'i+e 0eha+ioural or psychological changes 'ha' are due 'o 'he
effec' of 'he su0s'ance on 'he cen'ral ner+ous sys'em ;e.g.< 0elligerence< mood la0ili'y<
cogni'i+e impairmen'< impaired Eudgemen'< impaired social or occupa'ional func'ioning> and
de+elop during or shor'ly af'er use of 'he su0s'ance.
/+ SU5STANCE 9ITHDRA9AL
The de+elopmen' of a su0s'ance-specific syndrome due 'o 'he cessa'ion of ;or reduc'ion in>
su0s'ance use 'ha' has 0een hea+y and prolonged.
;+ ALCOHOL INTOGICATION
A. =ecen' inges'ion of alcohol.
4. Clinically significan' maladap'i+e 0eha+ioural or psychological changes ;e.g.< inappropria'e
se/ual or aggressi+e 0eha+iour< mood la0ili'y< impaired Eudgemen'< impaired social or
occupa'ional func'ioning> 'ha' de+eloped during< or shor'ly af'er< alcohol inges'ion.
C. @ne ;or more> of 'he follo8ing signs< de+eloping during< or shor'ly af'er alcohol use:
;1> slurred speech
;#> incoordina'ion
;*> uns'eady gai'
;,> nys'agmus
;.> impairmen' in a''en'ion or memory
;1> s'upor or coma.
-+ ALCOHOL 9ITHDRA9AL
A. Cessa'ion of ;or reduc'ion in> alcohol use 'ha' has 0een hea+y and prolonged.
4. T8o ;or more> of 'he follo8ing< de+eloping 8i'hin se+eral hours 'o a fe8 days af'er Cri'erion
A:
;1> au'onomic hyperac'i+i'y ;e.g.< s8ea'ing or pulse ra'e grea'er 'han 166>
;#> increased hand 'remor
1*,
;*> insomnia
;,> nausea or +omi'ing
;.> 'ransien' +isual< 'ac'ile< or audi'ory hallucina'ions or illusions
;1> psychomo'or agi'a'ion
;7> an/ie'y
;2> grand mal seiAures
8-. DELIRIUM) DEMENTIA AND AMNESTIC AND OTHER COGNITI6E DISORDERS
This sec'ion includes 'hree disorders namely Delirium< Demen'ia< and Amnes'ic Disorders.
The predominan' dis'ur0ance is a clinically significan' defici' in cogni'ion or memory 'ha'
represen's a significan' change from a pre+ious le+el of func'ioning. )or each disorder in 'his
sec'ion< 'he ae'iology is ei'her a general medical condi'ion ;al'hough 'he specific general medical
condi'ion may no' 0e iden'ifia0le> or a su0s'ance ;i.e.< a drug of a0use< medica'ion< or 'o/in>< or a
com0ina'ion of 'hese fac'ors.
8+ DELIRIUM
81-
The delirium disorders share a common symp'om presen'a'ion of a dis'ur0ance in
consciousness and cogni'ion< 0u' are differen'ia'ed 0ased on ae'iology and 'hus 8e ha+e: Delirium
Due 'o a 9eneral Medical Condi'ion< $u0s'ance-induced Delirium ;including medica'ion and side
effec's>< and Delirium Due 'o Mul'iple Ae'iologies.
Delirium is one of 'he firs' men'al disorders descri0ed in medicine and 'he mos' common
psychia'ric syndrome found in clinical se''ing. -' is mos'ly common among elderly people. People
8i'h demen'ia or 0rain damage ha+e a lo8er 'hreshold for de+eloping delirium and 8i'h grea'er
frequency. A +arie'y of physiological insul's ;e.g.< infec'ious< 8i'hdra8al< me'a0olic< 'rauma< C!$
pa'hology< hypo/emia< deficiencies< endocrinopa'hies< +ascular< 'o/insHdrugs and me'als> can
produce 'he delirium syndrome. -' can e/press i'self as hypoac'i+e s'a'e ;i.e.< decreased arousal and
psychomo'or ac'i+i'y>< hyperac'i+e s'a'e ;i.e.< increased arousal and psychomo'or ac'i+i'y>< or a
mi/ed form 8i'h fluc'ua'ions 0e'8een hypoac'i+e and hyperac'i+e s'a'es.
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA
Clinical fea'ures of delirium are 1. prodrome ;res'lessness< an/ie'y< sleep dis'ur0ance<
irri'a0ili'y> and rapid onse'< #. rapid fluc'ua'ing course< *. a''en'ion decreased ;easily dis'rac'i0le>< ,.
al'ered arousal and psychomo'or a0normali'y< .. Dis'ur0ance of sleep-8ake cycle< 1. impaired
memory ;canno' regis'er ne8 informa'ion>< 7. disorganiAed 'hinking and speech< 2. disorien'a'ion
;'o 'ime< place 0u' rarely 'o person>< 2. percep'ion al'ered ;mispercep'ions< illusions< delusions
[poorly formed]< hallucina'ions>< 3. neurological a0normali'ies< and 16. o'her fea'ures ;sadness<
irri'a0ili'y< anger< or euphoria>.
%8+ DELIRIUM DUE TO A GENERAL MEDICAL CONDITION
A. Dis'ur0ance of consciousness ;i.e.< reduced clari'y of a8areness of 'he en+ironmen'> 8i'h
reduced a0ili'y 'o focus< sus'ain< or shif' a''en'ion.
1*.
4. A change in cogni'ion ;such as memory defici'< disorien'a'ion< language dis'ur0ance> or
'he de+elopmen' of a percep'ual dis'ur0ance 'ha' is no' 0e''er accoun'ed for 0y a
pree/is'ing< es'a0lished< or e+ol+ing demen'ia.
C. The dis'ur0ance de+elops o+er a shor' period of 'ime ;usually hours 'o days> and 'ends 'o
fluc'ua'e during 'he course of 'he day.
D. There is e+idence from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings 'ha' 'he
dis'ur0ance is caused 0y 'he direc' physiological consequences of a general medical
condi'ion.
%.+ SU5STANCE INTOGICATION DELIRIUM
A. Cri'eria A< 4< C of delirium due 'o a 9eneral Medical Condi'ion are me'.
4. There is e+idence from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings of ei'her
;1> or ;#>:
;1> 'he symp'oms in Cri'eria A and 4 de+eloped during $u0s'ance -n'o/ica'ion
;#> medica'ion use is e'iologically rela'ed 'o 'he dis'ur0ance
%1+ SU5STANCE 9ITHDRA9AL DELIRIUM
A. Cri'eria A< 4< C of delirium due 'o a 9eneral Medical Condi'ion are me'.
symp'oms in Cri'eria A and 4 de+eloped during< or shor'ly af'er< a 8i'hdra8al syndrome.
%/+ DELIRIUM DUE TO MULTIPLE AETIOLOGIES
A. Cri'erion A for Demen'ia of 'he AlAheimerBs 'ype is me'.
delirium has more 'han one ae'iology ;e.g.< more 'han one e'iological general medical
condi'ion< a general medical condi'ion plus $u0s'ance -n'o/ica'ion or medica'ion side
effec'>.
.+ DEMENTIA
81<
Demen'ia is a syndrome of acquired< persis'en' in'ellec'ual impairmen' 8i'h compromised
func'ion in mul'iple spheres of men'al ac'i+i'y< such as memory< language< +isuospa'ial skills<
emo'ion or personali'y< and cogni'ion. -' affec's .N-2N of indi+iduals older 'han age 1.< 1.N-#6N
of indi+iduals older 'han age 7.< and #.N-.6N of indi+iduals older 'han age 2.. The demen'ing
disorders can 0e ca'egoriAed in'o cor'ical and su0cor'ical 'ypes. The cor'ical demen'ias reflec'
dysfunc'ion of 'he cere0ral cor'e/ and are charac'eriAed 0y amnesia< aphasia< apra/ia< and agnosia.
)or e/ample< AlAheimerBs disease is a cor'ical demen'ia. The su0cor'ical demen'ias are caused 0y
dysfunc'ion of 'he deep grey and deep 8hi'e ma''er s'ruc'ures< including 'he 0asal ganglia<
'halamus< 0rain s'em nuclei< and fron'al lo0e proEec'ions of 'hese s'ruc'ures. -nEury 'o su0cor'ical
s'ruc'ures of'en disrup's arousal< a''en'ion< mo'i+a'ion< and 'he ra'e of informa'ion processingK and
'his is seen as psychomo'or re'arda'ion< defec'i+e recall< poor a0s'rac'ion and s'ra'egy forma'ion<
and mood and personali'y al'era'ions such as depression and apa'hy. $u0cor'ial demen'ias include
human immunodeficiency +irus ;7-5> disease< 7un'ing'onBs disease< and ParkinsonBs disease.
1*1
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA
-' is no' normal aging 'ha' 8e find in pa'ien's 8i'h demen'ia 0u' 'he impac' of significan'
0rain pa'hology. Therefore 'here is a difference in memory decline in normal aging and in demen'ia.
The diagnos'ic cri'eria for age-associa'ed memory impairmen' ;AAM-> are: 1. pa'ien's a' leas' .6
years of age< #. su0Eec'i+e complain's of gradual onse' of memory dysfunc'ion in daily life ac'i+i'ies
;e.g.< difficul'y remem0ering names< misplacing o0Eec's< forge''ing phone num0ers>< *.
psychome'ric e+idence of memory failure< as measured 0y a performance a' leas' one s'andard
de+ia'ion 0elo8 'he mean es'a0lished for young adul's on a 8ell-s'andardiAed 'es'< ,. in'ac' glo0al
in'ellec'ual func'ion< .. a0sence of demen'ia< 1. a0sence of any curren' or pas' medical<
neurological< or psychia'ric illness kno8n 'o produce cogni'i+e impairmen'< including 'he effec's of
psycho'rophic or o'her medica'ions< drug or alcohol use< and any his'ory of head 'rauma resul'ing in
a period of unconsciousness for 1 hour or more.
%8+ DEMENTIA OF THE AL=HEIMER>S T:PE
A. The de+elopmen' of mul'iple cogni'i+e defici's manifes'ed 0y 0o'h
;1> memory impairmen' ;impaired a0ili'y 'o learn ne8 informa'ion or 'o recall
pre+iously learned informa'ion>
;#> one ;or more> of 'he follo8ing cogni'i+e dis'ur0ances:
;a> aphasia ;language dis'ur0ance>
;0> apra/ia ;impaired a0ili'y 'o carry ou' mo'or ac'i+i'ies despi'e in'ac'
mo'or func'ion>
;c> agnosia ;failure 'o recogniAe or iden'ify o0Eec's despi'e in'ac' sensory
func'ion>
;d> dis'ur0ance in e/ecu'i+e func'ioning ;i.e.< planning< organiAing<
sequencing< a0s'rac'ing>
4. The cogni'i+e defici's in Cri'eria A1 and A# each cause significan' impairmen' in social
or occupa'ional func'ioning and represen' a significan' decline from a pre+ious le+el of
func'ioning.
C. The course is charac'eriAed 0y gradual onse' and con'inuing cogni'i+e decline.
%.+ 6ASCULAR DEMENTIA
5ascular demen'ia ;5aD> is 'he diagnos'ic 'erm used 8hen cere0ral inEury from +ascular disease
leads 'o mul'iple cogni'i+e impairmen's.
4. )ocal neurological signs and symp'oms ;e.g.< e/aggera'ion of deep 'endon refle/es< e/'ensor
plan'ar response< pseudo0ul0ar palsy< gai' a0normali'ies< 8eakness of an e/'remi'y> or
la0ora'ory e+idence indica'i+e of cere0ro+ascular disease ;e.g.< mul'iple infarc'ions
in+ol+ing cor'e/ and underlying 8hi'e ma''er> 'ha' are Eudged 'o 0e e'iologically rela'ed 'o
'he dis'ur0ance.
%1+ DEMENTIA DUE TO OTHER GENERAL MEDICAL CONDITIONS
1*7
4. There is e+idence from 'he his'ory< physical e/amina'ion< or la0ora'ory findings 'ha'
'he dis'ur0ance is 'he direc' physiological consequence of one of 'he general medical
condi'ions lis'ed 0elo8.
. DEMENTIA DUE TO HI6 DISEASE

-nfec'ion 8i'h 'he human immunodeficiency+irus-'ype 1 ;7-5-1> produces a demen'ing
illness ini'ially called 'he A-D$ demen'ia comple/. A more recen' designa'ion is 7-5-1-associa'ed
cogni'i+eHmo'or comple/.
". DEMENTIA DUE TO HEAD TRAUMA
-' is a demen'ia 'ha' is Eudged 'o 0e 'he direc' pa'hophysiological consequence of head
'rauma. The degree and 'ype of cogni'i+e impairmen's or 0eha+ioural dis'ur0ances depend on 'he
loca'ion and e/'en' of 'he 0rain inEury.
c. DEMENTIA DUE TO PARKINSON>S DISEASE
ParkinsonBs disease ;PD> is charac'eriAed 0y progressi+e loss of dopaminergic neurons in 'he
su0s'an'ia nigra and o'her pigmen'ed 0rain s'em nuclei.
ParkinsonBs disease is a slo8ly progressi+e neurological condi'ion< charac'eriAed 0y 'remor< rigidi'y< 0radykinesia< and pos'ural ins'a0ili'y.
#6N-16N of 'he indi+iduals 8i'h ParkinsonBs disease do ha+e demen'ia and demen'ia is more likely 'o 0e presen' in older indi+iduals or 'hose 8i'h
more se+ere or ad+anced disease. Pa'ien's ha+e cogni'i+e and mo'oric slo8ing< e/ecu'i+e dysfunc'ion< and impairmen' in memory re'rie+al.
d. DEMENTIA DUE TO HUNTINGTON>S DISEASE

7un'ing'onBs disease ;7D> is an idiopa'hic neurodegenera'i+e disorder inheri'ed as an
au'osomal dominan' 'rai' 8i'h comple'e pene'rance.
-' is a demen'ia 'ha' is Eudged 'o 0e 'he direc' pa'hophysiological consequence of
7un'ing'onBs disease. 7un'ing'onBs disease is an inheri'ed progressi+e degenera'i+e disease of
cogni'ion< emo'ion< and mo+emen'. The disease affec's men and 8omen equally and is 'ransmi''ed
0y a single au'osomal dominan' gene on 'he shor' arm of chromosome ,. The disease is usually
diagnosed in 'he la'e *6s 'o early ,6s 0u' may 0egin as early as age , years or as la'e as age 2.
years. -' is heralded 0y insidious changes in 0eha+iour and personali'y< including depression<
irri'a0ili'y< and an/ie'y.
e. DEMENTIA DUE TO PICK>S DISEASE
PickBs disease. PickBs disease is a degenera'i+e disease of 'he 0rain 'ha' par'icularly affec's 'he
fron'al and 'emporal lo0es. -' is charac'eriAed 0y changes in personali'y early in 'he course<
de'eriora'ion of social skills< emo'ional 0lun'ing< 0eha+ioural disinhi0i'ion< and prominen' language
a0normali'ies. Difficul'ies 8i'h memory< apra/ia< and o'her fea'ures of demen'ia usually follo8 la'er
in 'he course. As i' progresses< i' may 0e accompanied 0y ei'her apa'hy or e/'reme agi'a'ion. PickBs
disease of'en canno' 0e dis'inguished 8i'h cer'ain'y from a'ypical cases of AlAheimerBs disease or
from o'her demen'ias 'ha' affec' 'he fron'al lo0es.
(. DEMENTIA DUE TO CREUT=FELDT73AKO5 DISEASE
1*2

Creu'Afeld'-:ako0 ;C:D> disease. -' is one of 'he su0acu'e spongiform encephalopa'hies< a group of
cen'ral ner+ous sys'em diseases caused 0y 'ransmissi0le agen's kno8n as Cslo8 +irusesB or prions.
Typically< pa'ien's 8i'h Creu'Afeldl'-:ako0 disease manifes' 'he clinical 'riad of demen'ia<
in+olun'ary mo+emen's ;par'icularly myoclonus>< and periodic &&9 ac'i+i'y.
%/+ SU5STANCE7INDUCED PERSISTING DEMENTIA
defici's are e'iologically rela'ed 'o 'he persis'ing effec's of su0s'ance use ;e.g.< a drug of
a0use< a medica'ion>.
%;+ DEMENTIA DUE TO MULTIPLE AETIOLOGIES
dis'ur0ance has more 'han one ae'iology ;e.g.< head 'rauma plus chronic alcohol use<
Demen'ia of 'he AlAheimerBs Type 8i'h 'he su0sequen' de+elopmen' of 5ascular
Demen'ia>.
1+ AMNESTIC DISORDERS
814
DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA
Amnes'ic disorders are charac'eriAed 0y an ina0ili'y 'o learn ne8 informa'ion despi'e normal
a''en'ion and an a0ili'y 'o recall e/'remely remo'e informa'ion< 8i'h no o'her cogni'i+e defici's. The
principal causes of amnesia include head 'rauma< ?ernicke-(orsakoff syndrome< s'roke< neoplasm<
herpes encephali'is< ano/ia< hypoglycemia< and surgical procedures 'ha' disrup' medial 'emporal
s'ruc'ures. Causes of 'ransien' amnesia include epilep'ic con+ulsions< ischemic episodes< and 'he
syndrome kno8n as 'ransien' glo0al amnesia.
%8+ AMNESTIC DISORDER DUE TO A GENERAL MEDICAL CONDITION
A. The de+elopmen' of memory impairmen' as manifes'ed 0y impairmen' in 'he a0ili'y 'o
learn ne8 informa'ion or 'he ina0ili'y 'o recall pre+iously learned informa'ion.
dis'ur0ance is 'he direc' physiological consequence of a general medical condi'ion
;including physical 'rauma>.
$pecify if:
Transien': if memory impairmen' las's for 1 mon'hs or less
Chronic: if memory impairmen' las's for more 'han 1 mon'h
%.+ SU5STANCE7INDUCED PERSISTING AMNESTIC DISORDER
A. The de+elopmen' of memory impairmen' as manifes'ed 0y impairmen' in 'he a0ili'y 'o learn
ne8 informa'ion or 'he ina0ili'y 'o recall pre+iously learned informa'ion.
1*3
dis'ur0ance is e'iologically rela'ed 'o 'he persis'ing effec's of su0s'ance use ;e.g.< a drug of
a0use< a medica'ion>.
8<. DISORDERS USUALL: FIRST DIAGNOSED IN INFANC:) CHILDHOOD) OR
ADOLESCENCE
8+ MENTAL RETARDATION
812
A. $ignifican'ly su0a+erage in'ellec'ual func'ioning: an -G of appro/ima'ely 76 or 0elo8 on an
indi+idually adminis'ered -G 'es' ;for infan's< a clinical Eudgemen' of significan'ly su0a+erage
in'ellec'ual func'ioning>.
4. Concurren' defici's or impairmen's in presen' adap'i+e func'ioning ;i.e.< 'he personBs
effec'i+eness in mee'ing 'he s'andards e/pec'ed for his or her age 0y his or her cul'ural group>
in a' leas' '8o of 'he follo8ing areas: communica'ion< self-care< home li+ing<
socialHin'erpersonal skills< use of communi'y resources< self-direc'ion< func'ional academic
skills< 8ork< leisure< heal'h< and safe'y.
C. The onse' is 0efore 'he age 12 years.
$e+eri'y reflec'ing le+el of in'ellec'ual impairmen':
Mild Men#l Re#rd#i$n: -G le+el .6-.. 'o appro/ima'ely 76
M$der#e Re#rd#i$n: -G le+el *.-,6 'o .6-..
Se@ere Men#l Re#rd#i$n: -G le+el #6-#. 'o *.-,6
Pr$($und Men#l Re#rd#i$n: -G le+el 0elo8 #6-#.
.+ LEARNING DISORDERS %FORMERL: ACADEMIC SKILLS DISORDERS+
8/0
%8+ READING DISORDER
A. =eading achie+emen'< as measured 0y indi+idually adminis'ered s'andardiAed 'es's of reading
accuracy or comprehension< is su0s'an'ially 0elo8 'ha' e/pec'ed gi+en 'he personBs
chronological age< measured in'elligence< and age-appropria'e educa'ion.
4. The dis'ur0ance in Cri'erion A significan'ly in'erferes 8i'h academic achie+emen' or
ac'i+i'ies of daily li+ing 'ha' require reading skills.
C. -f a sensory defici' is presen'< 'he reading difficul'ies are in e/cess of 'hose usually
associa'ed 8i'h i'.
%.+ MATHEMATICS DISORDER
A. Ma'hema'ical a0ili'y< as measured 0y indi+idually adminis'ered s'andardiAed 'es's< is
su0s'an'ially 0elo8 'ha' e/pec'ed gi+en 'he personBs chronological age< measured
in'elligence< and age-appropria'e educa'ion.
4. The dis'ur0ance in Cri'erion A significan'ly in'erferes 8i'h academic achie+emen' or
ac'i+i'ies of daily li+ing 'ha' require ma'hema'ical a0ili'y.
C. -f a sensory defici' is presen'< 'he difficul'ies in ma'hema'ical a0ili'y are in e/cess of 'hose
usually associa'ed 8i'h i'.
1,6
%1+ DISORDER OF 9RITTEN EGPRESSION
A. ?ri'ing skills< as measured 0y indi+idually adminis'ered s'andardiAed 'es's ;or func'ional
assessmen's of 8ri'ing skills>< are su0s'an'ially 0elo8 'hose e/pec'ed gi+en 'he personBs
chronological age< measured in'elligence< and age-appropria'e educa'ion.
4. The dis'ur0ance in Cri'erion A significan'ly in'erferes 8i'h academic achie+emen' or ac'i+i'ies
of daily li+ing 'ha' require 'he composi'ion of 8ri''en 'e/'s ;e.g.< 8ri'ing gramma'ically correc'
sen'ences and organiAed paragraphs>.
C. -f a sensory defici' is presen'< 'he difficul'ies in 8ri'ing skills are in e/cess of 'hose usually
associa'ed 8i'h i'.
1+ MOTOR SKILLS DISORDER
8/8
DE6ELOPMENTAL COORDINATION DISORDER
A. Performance in daily ac'i+i'ies 'ha' require mo'or coordina'ion is su0s'an'ially 0elo8 'ha'
e/pec'ed gi+en 'he personBs chronological age and measured in'elligence. This may 0e
manifes'ed 0y marked delay in achie+ing mo'or miles'ones ;e.g.< 8alking< cra8ling< si''ing><
dropping 'hings< Cclumsiness<B poor performance in spor's< or poor hand8ri'ing.
4. The dis'ur0ance in Cri'erion A significan'ly in'erferes 8i'h academic achie+emen' or ac'i+i'ies
of daily li+ing.
/+ COMMUNICATION DISORDER
8/.
%8+ EGPRESSI6E LANGUAGE DISORDER
A. The scores o0'ained from s'andardiAed indi+idually adminis'ered measures of e/pressi+e
language de+elopmen' are su0s'an'ially 0elo8 'hose o0'ained from s'andardiAed measures of
0o'h non+er0al in'ellec'ual capaci'y and recep'i+e language de+elopmen'. The dis'ur0ance
may 0e manifes' clinically 0y symp'oms 'ha' include ha+ing a markedly limi'ed +oca0ulary<
making errors in 'ense< or ha+ing difficul'y recalling 8ords or producing sen'ences 8i'h
de+elopmen'ally appropria'e leng'h or comple/i'y.
4. The difficul'ies 8i'h e/pressi+e language in'erfere 8i'h academic or occupa'ional
achie+emen' or 8i'h social communica'ion.
%.+ MIGED RECEPTI6E7EGPRESSI6E LANGUAGE DISORDER
A. The scores o0'ained from a 0a''ery of s'andardiAed indi+idually adminis'ered measures of
0o'h recep'i+e and e/pressi+e language de+elopmen' are su0s'an'ially 0elo8 'hose o0'ained
from s'andardiAed measures of non+er0al in'ellec'ual capaci'y. $ymp'oms include 'hose for
&/pressi+e "anguage Disorder as 8ell as difficul'y unders'anding 8ords< sen'ences< or
specific 'ypes of 8ords< such as spa'ial 'erms.
4. The difficul'ies 8i'h recep'i+e and e/pressi+e language significan'ly in'erfere 8i'h academic
or occupa'ional achie+emen' or 8i'h social communica'ion.
%1+ PHONOLOGICAL DISORDER
A. )ailure 'o use de+elopmen'ally e/pec'ed speech sounds 'ha' are appropria'e for age and dialec'
;e.g.< errors in sound produc'ion< use< represen'a'ion< or organiAa'ion such as< 0u' no' limi'ed
1,1
'o< su0s'i'u'ions of one sound for ano'her Suse ofH'Hfor 'arge' HkH soundT or omissions of sounds
such as final consonan's>.
4. The difficul'ies in speech sound produc'ion in'erfere 8i'h academic or occupa'ional
achie+emen' or 8i'h social communica'ion.
%/+ STUTTERING
A. Dis'ur0ance in 'he normal fluency and 'ime pa''erning of speech ;inappropria'e for 'he
indi+idualBs age>< charac'eriAed 0y frequen' occurrences of one or more of 'he follo8ing:
;1> sound and sylla0le repe'i'ions
;#> sound prolonga'ions
;*> in'erEec'ions
;,> 0roken 8ords ;e.g.< pauses 8i'hin a 8ord>
;.> audi0le or silen' 0locking ;filled or unfilled pauses in speech>
;1> circumlocu'ions ;8ord su0s'i'u'ions 'o a+oid pro0lema'ic 8ords>
;7> 8ords produced 8i'h an e/cess of physical 'ension
;2> monosylla0ic 8hole-8ord repe'i'ions ;e.g.< C------- see himB>
4. The dis'ur0ance in fluency in'erferes 8i'h academic or occupa'ional achie+emen' or 8i'h social
communica'ion.
;+ PER6ASI6E DE6ELOPMENTAL DISORDER
8/1
%8+ AUTISTIC DISORDER
A. A 'o'al of si/ ;or more> i'ems from ;1>< ;#>< and ;*>< 8i'h a' leas' '8o from ;1>< and one each from
;#> and ;*>:
;1> quali'a'i+e impairmen' in social in'erac'ion< as manifes'ed 0y a' leas' '8o of 'he
follo8ing:
;a> marked impairmen' in 'he use of mul'iple non+er0al 0eha+iours such as
eye-'o-eye gaAe< facial e/pression< 0ody pos'ures< and ges'ures 'o regula'e
social in'erac'ion
;0> failure 'o de+elop peer rela'ionships appropria'e 'o de+elopmen'al le+el
;c> a lack of spon'aneous seeking 'o share enEoymen'< in'eres's< or
achie+emen's 8i'h o'her people ;e.g.< 0y a lack of sho8ing< 0ringing< or
poin'ing ou' o0Eec's of in'eres'>
;d> lack of social or emo'ional reciproci'y
;#> quali'a'i+e impairmen's in communica'ion as manifes'ed 0y a' leas' one of 'he
follo8ing:
;a> delay in< or 'o'al lack of< 'he de+elopmen' of spoken language ;no'
accompanied 0y an a''emp' 'o compensa'e 'hrough al'erna'i+e modes of
communica'ion such as ges'ure or mime>
;0> in indi+iduals 8i'h adequa'e speech< marked impairmen' in 'he a0ili'y 'o
ini'ia'e or sus'ain a con+ersa'ion 8i'h o'hers
;c> s'ereo'yped and repe'i'i+e use of language or idiosyncra'ic language
;d> lack of +aried< spon'aneous make-0elie+e play or social imi'a'i+e play
appropria'e 'o de+elopmen'al le+el
;*> res'ric'ed repe'i'i+e and s'ereo'yped pa''erns of 0eha+iour< in'eres's< and ac'i+i'ies< as
manifes'ed 0y a' leas' one of 'he follo8ing:
;a> encompassing preoccupa'ion 8i'h one or more s'ereo'yped and res'ric'ed
pa''erns of in'eres' 'ha' is a0normal ei'her in in'ensi'y or focus
1,#
;0> apparen'ly infle/i0le adherence 'o specific< non-func'ional rou'ines or
ri'uals
;c> s'ereo'yped and repe'i'i+e mo'or mannerisms ;e.g.< hand or finger flapping
or '8is'ing< or comple/ 8hole-0ody mo+emen's>
;d> persis'en' preoccupa'ion 8i'h par's of o0Eec's
4. Delays or a0normal func'ioning in a' leas' one of 'he follo8ing areas< 8i'h onse' prior 'o age *
years: ;1> social in'erac'ion< ;#> language as used in social communica'ion< or ;*> sym0olic or
imagina'i+e play.
%.+ RETT>S DISORDER
A. All of 'he follo8ing:
;1> apparen'ly normal prena'al and perina'al de+elopmen'
;#> apparen'ly normal psychomo'or de+elopmen' 'hrough 'he firs' . mon'hs af'er 0ir'h
;*> normal head circumference a' 0ir'h
4. @nse' of all of 'he follo8ing af'er 'he period of normal de+elopmen':
;1> decelera'ion of head gro8'h 0e'8een ages . and ,2 mon'hs
;#> loss of pre+iously acquired purposeful hand skills 0e'8een ages . and *6 mon'hs
8i'h 'he su0sequen' de+elopmen' of s'ereo'yped hand mo+emen's ;e.g.< hand-8ri'ing
or hand 8ashing>
;*> loss of social engagemen' early in 'he course ;al'hough of'en social in'erac'ion
de+elops la'er>
;,> appearance of poorly coordina'ed gai' or 'runk mo+emen's
;.> se+erely impaired e/pressi+e and recep'i+e language de+elopmen' 8i'h se+ere
psychomo'or re'arda'ion
%1+ CHILDHOOD DISINTEGRATI6E DISORDER
A. Apparen'ly normal de+elopmen' for a' leas' 'he firs' # years af'er 0ir'h as manifes'ed 0y 'he
presence of age-appropria'e +er0al and non+er0al communica'ion< social rela'ionships< play<
and adap'i+e 0eha+iour.
4. Clinically significan' loss of pre+iously acquired skills ;0efore age 16 years> in a' leas' '8o of
'he follo8ing areas:
;1> e/pressi+e or recep'i+e language
;#> social skills or adap'i+e 0eha+iour
;*> 0o8el or 0ladder con'rol
;,> play mo'or skills
C. A0normali'ies of func'ioning in a' leas' '8o of 'he follo8ing areas:
;1> quali'a'i+e impairmen' in social in'erac'ion ;e.g.< impairmen' in non+er0al
0eha+iours< failures 'o de+elop peer rela'ionships< lack of social or emo'ional
reciproci'y>
;#> quali'a'i+e impairmen's in communica'ion ;e.g.< delay or lack of spoken language<
ina0ili'y 'o ini'ia'e or sus'ain a con+ersa'ion< s'ereo'yped and repe'i'i+e use of
language< lack of +aried make-0elie+e play>
;*> res'ric'ed< repe'i'i+e< and s'ereo'yped pa''erns of 0eha+iour< in'eres's< and ac'i+i'ies<
including mo'or s'ereo'ypies and mannerisms
%/+ ASPERGER>S DISORDER
A. Guali'a'i+e impairmen' in social in'erac'ion< as manifes'ed 0y a' leas' '8o of 'he follo8ing:
1,*
;1> marked impairmen' in 'he use of mul'iple non+er0al 0eha+iours such as eye-'o-eye
gaAe< facial e/pression< 0ody pos'ures< and ges'ures 'o regula'e social in'erac'ion
;#> failure 'o de+elop peer rela'ionships appropria'e 'o de+elopmen'al le+el
;*> a lack of spon'aneous seeking 'o share enEoymen'< in'eres's< or achie+emen's 8i'h
o'her people ;e.g.< 0y a lack of sho8ing< 0ringing< or poin'ing ou' o0Eec's of in'eres's
'o o'her people>
;,> lack of social or emo'ional reciproci'y
4. =es'ric'ed repe'i'i+e and s'ereo'yped pa''erns of 0eha+iour< in'eres's< and ac'i+i'ies< as
manifes'ed 0y a' leas' one of 'he follo8ing:
;1> encompassing preoccupa'ion 8i'h one or more s'ereo'yped and res'ric'ed pa''erns of
in'eres' 'ha' is a0normal ei'her in in'ensi'y or focus
;#> apparen'ly infle/i0le adherence 'o specific< non-func'ional rou'ines or ri'uals
;*> s'ereo'yped and repe'i'i+e mo'or mannerisms ;e.g.< hand or finger flapping or
'8is'ing< or comple/ 8hole-0ody mo+emen's>
;,> persis'en' preoccupa'ion 8i'h par's of o0Eec's
C. The dis'ur0ance causes clinically significan' impairmen' in social< occupa'ional< or o'her
D. There is no clinically significan' general delay in language ;e.g.< single 8ords used 0y age #
years< communica'i+e phrases used 0y age * years>.
&. There is no clinically significan' delay in cogni'i+e de+elopmen' or in 'he de+elopmen' of
age-appropria'e self-help skills< adap'i+e 0eha+iour ;o'her 'han in social in'erac'ion>< and
curiosi'y a0ou' 'he en+ironmen' in childhood.
-+ ATTENTION7DEFICIT AND DISRUPTI6E 5EHA6IOUR DISORDERS
8//
%8+ ATTENTION7DEFICITLH:PERACTI6IT: DISORDER
A. &i'her ;1> or ;#>:
;1> si/ ;or more> of 'he follo8ing symp'oms of ina''en'ion ha+e persis'ed for a' leas' 1
mon'hs 'o a degree 'ha' is maladap'i+e and inconsis'en' 8i'h de+elopmen'al le+el:
-na''en'ion
;a> of'en fails 'o gi+e close a''en'ion 'o de'ails or makes careless mis'akes in
school8ork< 8ork< or o'her ac'i+i'ies
;0> of'en has difficul'y sus'aining a''en'ion in 'asks or play ac'i+i'ies
;c> of'en does no' seem 'o lis'en 8hen spoken 'o direc'ly
;d> of'en does no' follo8 'hrough on ins'ruc'ions and fails 'o finish
school8ork< chores< or du'ies in 'he 8orkplace ;no' due 'o opposi'ional
0eha+iour or failure 'o unders'and ins'ruc'ions>
;e> of'en has difficul'y organiAing 'asks and ac'i+i'ies
;f> of'en a+oids< dislikes< or is reluc'an' 'o engage in 'asks 'ha' require
sus'ained men'al effor' ;such as school8ork or home8ork>
;g> of'en loses 'hings necessary for 'asks or ac'i+i'ies ;e.g.< 'oys< school
assignmen's< pencils< 0ooks< or 'ools>
;h> is of'en easily dis'rac'ed 0y e/'raneous s'imuli
;i> is of'en forge'ful in daily ac'i+i'ies
;#> si/ ;or more> of 'he follo8ing symp'oms of hyperac'i+i'y-impulsi+i'y ha+e persis'ed
for a' leas' 1 mon'hs 'o a degree 'ha' is maladap'i+e and inconsis'en' 8i'h
de+elopmen'al le+el:
7yperac'i+i'y
;a> of'en fidge's 8i'h hands or fee' or squirms in sea'
;0> of'en lea+es sea' in classroom or in o'her si'ua'ions in 8hich remaining
sea'ed is e/pec'ed
1,,
;c> of'en runs a0ou' or clim0s e/cessi+ely in si'ua'ions in 8hich i' is
inappropria'e ;in adolescen's or adul's< may 0e limi'ed 'o su0Eec'i+e
feelings of res'lessness>
;d> of'en has difficul'y playing or engaging in leisure ac'i+i'ies quie'ly
;e> is of'en Con 'he goB or of'en ac's as if Cdri+en 0y a mo'orB
;f> of'en 'alks e/cessi+ely
-mpulsi+i'y
;g> of'en 0lur's ou' ans8ers 0efore ques'ions ha+e 0een comple'ed
;h> of'en has difficul'y a8ai'ing 'urn
;i> of'en in'errup's or in'rudes on o'hers ;e.g.< 0u''s in'o con+ersa'ions or
games>
4. $ome hyperac'i+e-impulsi+e or ina''en'i+e symp'oms 'ha' caused impairmen' 8ere presen'
0efore age 7 years.
C. $ome impairmen' from 'he symp'oms is presen' in '8o or more se''ings ;e.g.< a' school Sor
8orkT and a' home>.
%.+ CONDUCT DISORDER
A. A repe'i'i+e and persis'en' pa''ern of 0eha+iour in 8hich 'he 0asic righ's of o'hers or maEor
age-appropria'e socie'al norms or rules are +iola'ed< as manifes'ed 0y 'he presence of 'hree ;or
more> of 'he follo8ing cri'eria in 'he pas' 1# mon'hs< 8i'h a' leas' one cri'erion presen' in 'he
pas' 1 mon'hs:
Aggression 'o people and animals
;1> of'en 0ullies< 'hrea'ens< or in'imida'es o'hers
;#> of'en ini'ia'es physical figh's
;*> has used a 8eapon 'ha' can cause serious physical harm 'o o'hers ;e.g.< a 0a'< 0rick<
0roken 0o''le< knife< gun>
;,> has 0een physically cruel 'o people
;.> has 0een physically cruel 'o animals
;1> has s'olen 8hile confron'ing a +ic'im ;e.g.< mugging< purse sna'ching< e/'or'ion<
armed ro00ery>
;7> has forced someone in'o se/ual ac'i+i'y
Des'ruc'ion of proper'y
;2> has deli0era'ely engaged in fire se''ing 8i'h 'he in'en'ion of causing serious damage
;3> has deli0era'ely des'royed o'hersB proper'y ;o'her 'han 0y fire se''ing>
Decei'fulness or 'hef'
;16> has 0roken in'o someone elseBs house< 0uilding< or car
;11> of'en lies 'o o0'ain goods or fa+ours or 'o a+oid o0liga'ions ;i.e.< CconsB o'hers>
;1#> has s'olen i'ems of non'ri+ial +alue 8i'hou' confron'ing a +ic'im ;e.g.< shoplif'ing<
0u' 8i'hou' 0reaking and en'eringK forgery>
$erious +iola'ions of rules
;1*> of'en s'ays ou' a' nigh' despi'e paren'al prohi0i'ions< 0eginning 0efore age 1* years
;1,> has run a8ay from home o+ernigh' a' leas' '8ice 8hile li+ing in paren'al or paren'al
surroga'e home ;or once 8i'hou' re'urning for a leng'hy period>
;1.> is of'en 'ruan' from school< 0eginning 0efore age 1* years
4. -f 'he indi+idual is age 12 years or older< cri'eria are no' me' for An'isocial Personali'y
Disorder.
%1+ OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER
1,.
A pa''ern of nega'i+is'ic< hos'ile< and defian' 0eha+iour las'ing a' leas' 1 mon'hs< during 8hich
four ;or more> of 'he follo8ing are presen':
;1> of'en loses 'emper
;#> of'en argues 8i'h adul's
;*> of'en ac'i+ely defies or refuses 'o comply 8i'h adul'sB reques's or rules
;,> of'en deli0era'ely annoys people
;.> of'en 0lames o'hers for his or her mis'akes or mis0eha+iour
;1> is of'en 'ouchy or easily annoyed 0y o'hers
;7> is of'en angry and resen'ful
;2> is of'en spi'eful or +indic'i+e
!o'e: Consider a cri'erion me' only if 'he 0eha+iour occurs more frequen'ly 'han is 'ypically o0ser+ed in
indi+iduals of compara0le age and de+elopmen'al le+el
<+ FEEDING AND EATING DISORDERS OF INFANC: OR EARL: CHILDHOOD
8/;
%8+ PICA
A. Persis'en' ea'ing of non-nu'ri'i+e su0s'ance for a period of a' leas' 1 mon'h.
4. The ea'ing of non-nu'ri'i+e su0s'ance is inappropria'e 'o 'he de+elopmen'al le+el.
C. The ea'ing 0eha+iour is no' par' of a cul'urally sanc'ioned prac'ice.
%.+ RUMINATION DISORDER
=epea'ed regurgi'a'ion and reche8ing of food for a period of a' leas' 1 mon'h follo8ing a period
of normal func'ioning.
%1+ FEEDING DISORDER OF INFANC: OR EARL: CHILDHOOD
A. )eeding dis'ur0ance as manifes'ed 0y persis'en' failure 'o ea' adequa'ely 8i'h significan'
failure 'o gain 8eigh' or significan' loss of 8eigh' o+er a' leas' 1 mon'h.
4. The onse' is 0efore age 1 years.
4+ TIC DISORDERS
8/-
%8+ TOURETTE>S DISORDER
A. 4o'h mul'iple mo'or and one or more +ocal 'ics ha+e 0een presen' a' some 'ime during 'he
illness< al'hough no' necessarily concurren'ly. ;a C'icB is a sudden< rapid< recurren'<
nonrhy'hmic< s'ereo'yped mo'or mo+emen' or +ocaliAa'ion.>
4. The 'ics occur many 'imes a day ;usually in 0ou's> nearly e+ery day or in'ermi''en'ly
'hroughou' a period of more 'han 1 year< and during 'his period 'here 8as ne+er a 'ic-free
period of more 'han * consecu'i+e mon'hs.
C. The onse' is 0efore age 12 years.
%.+ CHRONIC MOTOR OR 6OCAL TIC DISORDER
A. $ingle or mul'iple mo'or or +ocal 'ics ;i.e.< sudden< recurren'< nonrhy'hmic< s'ereo'yped mo'or
mo+emen's or +ocaliAa'ions>< 0u' no' 0o'h< ha+e 0een presen' a' some 'ime during 'he illness.
1,1
4. The 'ic occur many 'imes a day nearly e+ery day or in'ermi''en'ly 'hroughou' a period of more
'han 1 year< and during 'his period 'here 8as ne+er a 'ic-free period of more 'han * consecu'i+e
mon'hs.
%1+ TRANSIENT TIC DISORDER
A. $ingle or mul'iple mo'or andHor +ocal 'ics ;i.e.< sudden< recurren'< nonrhy'hmic< s'ereo'yped
mo'or mo+emen's or +ocaliAa'ions>
4. The 'ics occur many 'imes a day< nearly e+ery day for a' leas' , 8eeks< 0u' for no longer 'han
1# consecu'i+e mon'hs.
2+ ELIMINATION DISORDERS
8/<
%8+ ENCOPRESIS
A. =epea'ed passage of faeces in'o inappropria'e places ;e.g.< clo'hing or floor> 8he'her
in+olun'ary or in'en'ional
4. A' leas' one such e+en' a mon'h for a' leas' * mon'hs.
C. Chronological age is a' leas' , years ;or equi+alen' de+elopmen'al le+el>.
%.+ ENURESIS
A. =epea'ed +oiding of urine in'o 0ed or clo'hes ;8he'her in+olun'ary or in'en'ional>.
4. The 0eha+iour is clinically significan' as manifes'ed 0y ei'her a frequency of '8ice a 8eek for
a' leas' * consecu'i+e mon'hs or 'he presence of clinically significan' dis'ress or impairmen' in
social< academic ;occupa'ional>< or o'her impor'an' areas of func'ioning.
C. Chronological age is a' leas' . years ;or equi+alen' de+elopmen'al le+el>.
80+ OTHER DISORDERS OF INFANC:) CHILDHOOD) OR ADOLESCENCE
8/4
%8+ SEPARATION ANGIET: DISORDER
A. De+elopmen'ally inappropria'e and e/cessi+e an/ie'y concerning separa'ion from home or
from 'hose 'o 8hom 'he indi+idual is a''ached< as e+idenced 0y 'hree ;or more> of 'he
follo8ing:
;1> recurren' e/cessi+e dis'ress 8hen separa'ion from home or maEor a''achmen' figures
occurs or is an'icipa'ed
;#> persis'en' and e/cessi+e 8orry a0ou' losing< or a0ou' possi0le harm 0efalling< maEor
a''achmen' figures
;*> persis'en' and e/cessi+e 8orry 'ha' an un'o8ard e+en' 8ill lead 'o separa'ion from a
maEor a''achmen' figure ;e.g.< ge''ing los' or 0eing kidnapped>
;,> persis'en' reluc'ance or refusal 'o go 'o school or else8here 0ecause of fear of
separa'ion
;.> persis'en'ly and e/cessi+ely fearful or reluc'an' 'o 0e alone or 8i'hou' maEor
a''achmen' figures a' home or 8i'hou' significan' adul's in o'her se''ings
1,7
;1> persis'en' reluc'ance or refusal 'o go 'o sleep 8i'hou' 0eing near a maEor a''achmen'
figure or 'o sleep a8ay from home
;7> repea'ed nigh'mares in+ol+ing 'he 'heme of separa'ion
;2> repea'ed complain's of physical symp'oms ;such as headaches< s'omach-aches<
nausea< or +omi'ing> 8hen separa'ion from maEor a''achmen' figures occurs or is
an'icipa'ed
4. The dura'ion of 'he dis'ur0ance is a' leas' , 8eeks.
%.+ SELECTI6E MUTISM
A. Consis'en' failure 'o speak in specific social si'ua'ions ;in 8hich 'here is an e/pec'a'ion for
speaking< e.g.< a' school> despi'e speaking in o'her si'ua'ions.
4. The dis'ur0ance in'erferes 8i'h educa'ional or occupa'ional achie+emen' or 8i'h social
communica'ion.
C. The dura'ion of 'he dis'ur0ance is a' leas' 1 mon'h ;no' limi'ed 'o 'he firs' mon'h of school>.
D. The failure 'o speak is no' due 'o a lack of kno8ledge of< or comfor' 8i'h< 'he spoken
language required in 'he social si'ua'ion.
%1+ REACTI6E ATTACHMENT DISORDER OF INFANC: OR EARL: CHILDHOOD
A. Markedly dis'ur0ed de+elopmen'ally inappropria'e social rela'edness in mos' con'e/'s<
0eginning 0efore age . years< as e+idenced 0y ei'her ;1> or ;#>:
;1> persis'en' failure 'o ini'ia'e or respond in a de+elopmen'ally appropria'e fashion 'o
mos' social in'erac'ions< as manifes' 0y e/cessi+ely inhi0i'ed< hyper+igilan'< or
highly am0i+alen' and con'radic'ory responses ;e.g.< 'he child may respond 'o
caregi+ers 8i'h a mi/'ure of approach< a+oidance< and resis'ance 'o comfor'ing< or
may e/hi0i' froAen 8a'chfulness>
;#> diffuse a''achmen's as manifes' 0y indiscrimina'e socia0ili'y 8i'h marked ina0ili'y
'o e/hi0i' appropria'e selec'i+e a''achmen's ;e.g.< e/cessi+e familiari'y 8i'h rela'i+e
s'rangers or lack of selec'i+i'y in choice of a''achmen' figures>
4. The dis'ur0ance in Cri'erion A is no' accoun'ed for solely 0y de+elopmen'al delay ;as in
Men'al =e'arda'ion> and does no' mee' cri'eria for a Per+asi+e De+elopmen'al Disorder.
C. Pa'hogenic care as e+idenced 0y a' leas' one of 'he follo8ing:
;1> persis'en' disregard of 'he childBs 0asic emo'ional needs for comfor'< s'imula'ion<
and affec'ion
;#> persis'en' disregard of 'he childBs 0asic physical needs
;*> repea'ed changes of primary caregi+er 'ha' pre+en' forma'ion of s'a0le a''achmen's
;e.g.< frequen' changes in fos'er care>
D. There is a presump'ion 'ha' 'he care in Cri'erion C is responsi0le for 'he dis'ur0ed 0eha+iour in
Cri'erion A ;e.g.< 'he dis'ur0ances in Cri'erion A 0egan follo8ing 'he pa'hogenic care in
Cri'erion C>.
%/+ STEREOT:PIC MO6EMENT DISORDER
A. =epe'i'i+e< seemingly dri+en< and non-func'ional mo'or 0eha+iour ;e.g.< hand shaking or
8a+ing< 0ody rocking< head 0anging< mou'hing of o0Eec's< self-0i'ing< picking a' skin or
0odily orifices< hi''ing o8n 0ody>.
4. The 0eha+iour markedly in'erferes 8i'h normal ac'i+i'ies or resul's in self-inflic'ed 0odily
inEury 'ha' requires medical 'rea'men' or 8ould resul' in an inEury if pre+en'i+e measures 8ere
no' used>.
1,2
C. The 0eha+iour persis's for , 8eeks or longer.
5. ASKING FOR A RECENT E6ENT
-llus'ra'ions and e/amples dri+e home 'he idea 0e''er 'han mere e/plana'ion of 'he idea you 8an'
'o inculca'e. -n 'he same 8ay< you can kno8 8ha' 'he pro0lem is< i's e/ac' na'ure< and 'he con'ri0u'ion
of 'he clien' 'o i'< 0y asking 'he clien' 'o gi+e an ins'ance of 'he pro0lem heHshe faced qui'e recen'ly.
- 'hough' of making 'his Casking for a recen' e+en'B in'o a s'ep or chap'er for o0+ious reasons.
Fsually - ge' a clearer pic'ure of a pro0lema'ic si'ua'ion 8hen - ha+e an e/ample. All of us are assis'ed
in our unders'anding of a su0Eec' 8hen 'he professor gi+e us e/amples. -n 'he same 8ay 'o unders'and
'he pro0lem of 'he clien' i' is 8or'h8hile 'o kno8 a recen' occurrence of 'he pro0lema'ic si'ua'ion. This
is 'he main reason for making i' in'o a s'ep.
)irs' of all< 'he clien' could 0e +ague in 8ha' heHshe is presen'ing and if heHshe 8ere 'o 'ell a
recen' e+en' connec'ed 8i'h 'he pro0lem< heHshe 0ecomes clear a0ou' 8ha' heHshe speaks.
$econdly< 'he clien' 0ecomes concre'e 8i'h 'he de'ails< 8hich 8ill gi+e clues 'o 'he na'ure of 'he
pro0lem.
Thirdly< 'he role of 'he clien' in 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion can 0e assessed 0y a recen' e+en'. ?hen a
'eenager says 'ha' his fa'her keeps yelling a' him< you could ask him 'o gi+e an ins'ance of his fa'herBs
yelling. Perhaps you 8ill find ou' 'ha' 'he 'eenager 8as coming home la'e a' nigh' e+eryday 8hich 8as
'he reason for his dad 'o yell a' him. This kno8ledge you 8ould arri+e a' only af'er lis'ening 'o 'he
'eenagerMs narra'ion of a recen' e+en'.
)our'hly< 8hile narra'ing an inciden' 'he clien' is in 'ouch 8i'h hisHher feeling< and in some cases
i' could 0e an emo'ional discharge for 'he clien'. =emem0ering pas' painful e+en's people emo'e.
A' 'imes - ha+e no'iced 'ha' my asking 'he clien' 'o narra'e a recen' e+en' of 'he pro0lem 'riggers
off a lo' of 'alking on 'he par' of 'he clien'. Af'er all 8ha' is more useful is 'he 'alking of 'he clien' no'
your monopoliAing 'he con+ersa'ion. $ince some of 'he inciden's are +i+id in 'he memory of 'he clien's
'hey narra'e 8i'h many de'ails. This in a 8ay gi+es you enough informa'ion a0ou' 'he dynamics of 'he
clien'sB role in 'he pro0lem. -' migh' help you 'o facili'a'e 'he clien' personaliAe 'he pro0lem since you
are ra'her pre''y sure of 'he in+ol+emen' of 'he clien' in 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion.
There are also pro0lems for 8hich 'here is no need of asking for a recen' e+en'. The na'ure of
'he pro0lem does no' 8arran' such a one. )or e/ample< a clien' me' 8i'h an acciden' and is discussing
a0ou' 'he acciden' and 'he pain he undergoes. Therefore i' is no' necessary 'ha' you should ask for a
recen' e+en' of an acciden'. There are cer'ain 'hings 'ha' keep recurring. )or 'hem i' is good 'o ask for a
recen' e+en'. -f one quarrels 8hene+er 'he family mem0ers ga'her 'oge'her< 'hen you can ask for a
recen' e+en' of quarrelling 8hen 'he family mem0ers ga'hered 'oge'her.
4y no8 you are reaching 'he end of 'he pacing Phase. Jou ha+e prepared 'he clien' 'o 8ork on
'he pro0lemK all 'he a0o+e s'eps ha+e 0een a prepara'ion 'o 'he ensuing 'ask 'ha' a8ai's 0o'h 'he
counsellee and 'he counsellor. !o dou0' 'ha' you ha+e 0een 0uilding a rappor' 8i'h 'he clien' righ' from
'he +ery 0eginningK as you 8ere dealing 8i'h himHher you also o0ser+ed hisHher non-+er0al 0eha+iour
+ery keenly 'o kno8 more of 'he clien'. Then you s'ar'ed 'o do some ground 8ork ;laying 'he
founda'ion> for 'he 'ype of 8ork you are under'aking 8i'h 'he clien' 0y your a''ending< lis'ening<
reflec'ing 'he con'en'< and reflec'ing 'he feeling. -n a 8ay you helped 'he clien' 'o deal 8i'h s'rong
nega'i+e feelingsK you pinpoin'ed 'he pro0lem< and finally 'o unders'and 'he dynamics of 'he pro0lem<
1,3
you asked for a recen' e+en'. 4y no8 you ha+e a cer'ain grasp of 'he si'ua'ion< 8here 'he clien' s'ands<
and 8here heHshe needs 'o go. ?i'h 'his you are no8 ready 'o en'er in'o 'he reframing phase.
1,3

II. REFRAMING
?hen 8e 'hink of 'he rela'i+e impor'ance of 'he differen' s'eps< 'he ones for 8hich - gi+e grea'er
+alue are Pacing< PersonaliAing and =eframing. @f 'hese 'hree - gi+e more 8eigh' 'o =eframing< for< on
'his 'he success of 'he counselling depends. &+en if you had no' 0een compe'en' in o'her s'eps< you 8ill
no' cu' a poor figure if only you are a0le 'o do 8ell a' 'he reframing s'ep.
?ha' is 'his reframing all a0ou'L $o far 'he clien' 8ho has come 'o you 8as looking a' 'he
reali'y from one angle< 0u' no8 heHshe 8ill see 'he same reali'y from ano'her angle. The 8ord
MreframingM is 'aken from !euro-"inguis'ic Programming ;!"P>. To unders'and 8ha' reframing is< i' is
good 'o 'hink of a frame 'hrough 8hich as i' 8ere 8e are seeing 'he reali'y. ?e go a0ou' looking a' 'he
reali'y 'hrough 'ha' frame 8hich 8e pu' around our eyes. -n reframing< 8e remo+e 'ha' old frame and
su0s'i'u'e i' 8i'h a ne8 one. -' is like 8earing differen' glasses. -f you are using red glasses< you see
e+ery'hing redK and 8hen you remo+e 'hese and pu' on green glasses< you see 'he reali'y as green.
-n !"P< reframing is di+ided in'o ?c$n#en# re(r&ing> and ?n$n7c$n#en# re(r&ing.B Con'en'
reframing is di+ided in'o ?&ening re(r&ing> and ?c$n#eC# re(r&ing.> )or our counselling purpose
8e could 'ake 'he con'en' reframing alone 8i'h i's su0-di+isions of meaning reframing and con'e/'
reframing. ?e kno8 'he con'en' of Ccon'en' reframingB 8hereas 8e do no' kno8 'he con'en' of Cnon-
con'en' reframingB 8hich is a form of 'herapy 'o 'rea' psychosoma'ic illnesses.
There are 'hree reali'ies in our e/perience: 1. s'imulus 'ha' 8hich impinges on any one of 'he
fi+e senses< #. 'he meaning of 'he s'imulus< and *. 'he con'e/' in 8hich 'he e/perience 'akes place.
!o8 you can keep 'he s'imulus ;0eha+iour>< and 'he con'e/' cons'an' and change only 'he meaning.
This is one 8ay of reframing 8hich is called meaning reframing. @r you can keep 'he s'imulus
;0eha+iour>< and 'he meaning cons'an' and change 'he con'e/'. -' is ano'her 8ay of reframing 8hich is
called con'e/' reframing. $o among 'he 'hree reali'ies of $'imulus % Meaning % Con'e/'< keeping 'he
s'imulus al8ays cons'an'< you can change any one of 'he o'her '8o meaning or con'e/'. $'imulus is
'he undesira0le 0eha+iour pa''ern or 'he pro0lem.
A. REFRAMING
8. MEANING REFRAMING
-n meaning reframing< 'he s'imulus and con'e/' remain 'he same and cons'an'< 0u' 'he meaning
'hey had is changed and 'ha' is 8hy 'he name Mmeaning reframing.M -n connec'ion 8i'h a 0eha+iour< 'ha'
8hich 8as considered nega'i+e is no8 seen as some'hing posi'i+e. &arlier i' 8as in+es'ed 8i'h a
nega'i+e meaning 0u' no8 i' is 0eing in+es'ed 8i'h a ne8 meaning. A s'imulus is neu'ral and i' has no
inheren' po8er 'o make one happy or unhappy< 0u' i' is 'he 8ay you percei+e 'ha' s'imulus 'ha' makes
you happy or unhappy. -n o'her 8ords i' is no' 'he s'imulus and 'he sensory e/perience of 'he s'imulus
1.6
'ha' is nega'i+e< 0u' i' is your percep'ion of 'ha' par'icular s'imulus 'ha' makes you feel nega'i+e. Jour
response depends upon 'he meaning 'ha' 'he s'imulus and 'he sensory e/perience ha+e for you. -f for
you 'he s'imulus has a posi'i+e meaning your response also is posi'i+e< 0u' if i' has a nega'i+e meaning
your response is nega'i+e. Therefore ins'ead of changing 'he s'imulus and 'he sensory e/perience< Eus'
change 'he meaning< and 'ha' is e/ac'ly 8ha' is called meaning reframing. 7ere only 'he meaning
changes no' 'he 0eha+iour or 'he con'e/'. )or e/ample< an enquiry form a colleague of yours may 0e
'aken as a sign of concern or a sign of inquisi'i+eness and unnecessary in'erference depending upon
8hich of 'he '8o meanings you in+es' 'he enquiry 8i'h. This only proclaims loudly 'ha' 8e need no' 0e
condemned 'o look a' a 0eha+iour only from one angle and 8e ha+e 'he op'ion 'o look a' i' differen'ly
also. -n o'her 8ords 8e are capa0le of reframing. "e' us see an e/ample for 'he meaning reframing.
Counsellee: People make fun of me 8hen - 8eep. They say only 8omen 8eep and -
should no' 8eep as a man< 'hey say. - ha'e myself for 0eing so sen'imen'al.
Counsellor: - am 8ondering if you are no' a person +ery sensi'i+e 'o 'he feelings of o'hers
and 'ha' you can 0e so +ery consoling 'o people in crisis 8i'h your empa'hic
unders'anding.
The counsellee 'hough' 'ha' his 0eing sen'imen'al 8as some'hing nega'i+e< 0u' 'he counsellor
made him realiAe 'ha' i' only mean' 'ha' he 8as a person capa0le of feeling for o'hers. 7ere 0o'h 'he
0eha+iour ;s'imulus> and 'he con'e/' are no' changed< 0u' only 'he meaning of i' is changed. The
0eha+iour 8hich 8as considered Msen'imen'alM is changed in'o Msensi'i+eM and i' makes a 8orld of
difference 'o 'he clien'. 7ere 'he counsellor has made use of meaning reframing.
.. CONTEGT REFRAMING
Con'e/' reframing refers 'o keeping 'he same meaning and 'he s'imulus 0u' only you change 'o
con'e/'. A s'imulus and meaning 8hich 8ere inappropria'e in a par'icular con'e/' may 0e mos'
appropria'e in ano'her con'e/'. )inding ou' a differen' con'e/' in 8hich a 0eha+iour ;8hich is a
s'imulus 8i'h a meaning> 8ill 0e appropria'e is called con'e/' reframing. "e' us see an e/ample for
con'e/' reframing.
Counsellee: My paren's scold me for 0eing 'oo ou'spoken.
Counsellor: Jour ou'spokenness can also 0ring a0ou' Eus'ice in many si'ua'ions.
7ere ou'spokenness is considered as some'hing nega'i+e 0y 'he clien'Bs paren's and 'ha' dis'ur0s
'he clien'. The counsellor is finding a con'e/' 8here such ou'spokenness 8ill 0e +ery appropria'e and
8elcome. There are si'ua'ions of inEus'ice and in such si'ua'ions< ou'spokenness is considered posi'i+e
since 'ha' 8ill pa+e 'he 8ay for Eus'ice. This is an e/ample of con'e/' reframing.
Counsellors are supposed 'o reframe 'he clien's 8ho come 'o 'hem so 'ha' 'hey go 0ack 'o 'heir
o8n old si'ua'ion ;8hich includes 'he same s'imulus and 'he same con'e/'> 8i'h a ne8 meaning or 'o 'he
old si'ua'ion ;8hich includes 'he same s'imulus and 'he same meaning> in a ne8 con'e/'.
1.6
1. AD6ANTAGES OF REFRAMING
=eframing has many ad+an'ages in 'he counselling si'ua'ions. ?e kno8 'ha' change is 'he aim
of counselling< roughly speaking. -' is precisely change 'ha' is called for in reframing. -ns'ead of
ge''ing rid of an un8an'ed 0eha+iour< you are 'eaching himHher 'o make use of 'he same 0eha+iour for
some'hing good. The un8an'ed 0eha+iour 8as no' appropria'e Eus' 0ecause 'he meaning gi+en or 'he
con'e/' in 8hich i' is e/ercised is considered nega'i+e. Therefore ins'ead of des'roying 'he ha0i'< find
ou' ho8 0es' i' can 0e made use of for your o8n 8ell-0eing. =eframing opens up a +as' num0er of
1.1
choicesK ins'ead of 0eing 'ied do8n 'o one par'icular mode of reac'ion< you 'each a clien' 'o reac' in
differen' 8ays. -' is also 'rue 'ha' 'he un8an'ed< 8hen accep'ed< 0ecomes posi'i+e for 'he clien'. ?ha'
8as nega'i+e 8as 'he non-accep'ance< and 8hen one is prepared 'o accep' i'< i' 0ecomes some'hing
posi'i+e. -n psychology< a pain 'ha' is in'egra'ed ;accep'ed> is no more a pain.

5. SKILLS
-n 'his ac'ion-orien'ed dimension you are supposed 'o 0e equipped 8i'h cer'ain skills. The
forma' you follo8 is procedure and 'he skills are 'echniques 8hich you need 'o use. There are eigh'
skills you need 'o mas'er. They are:
1. genuineness< #. respec'< *. 0asic empa'hy< ,. ad+anced empa'hy< .. concre'eness< 1. caring
confron'a'ion ;challenging or feed0ack>< 7. self-disclosure< and 2. immediacy. "e' us 'ake each one of
'hem separa'ely for our considera'ion.
8. GENUINENESS
8;8
Genuineness is #!e n$n7denil $( $nesel( nd #!e cce'#nce $( $nesel( s $ne is. ?hen 8e
8ere 0orn< 8e 8ere naked 0o'h physically and psychologically. 4u' 'hrough a process of socialiAa'ion
8e learn as children 'ha' 8e can no longer con'inue 'o 0e naked physically and also psychologically.
?e 0egin 'o pu' on masks 8hich 8e remo+e 8hen 8e are 0y oursel+es and pu' on 8hen 8e are 8i'h
o'hers. A' 'imes< 8e remo+e 'hem if 8e are sure 'ha' 'he people close 'o us 8ill no' reEec' our 'rue self.
9enuineness resul's in 0eing comfor'a0le 8i'h oneself and 0eing comfor'a0le 8i'h o'hers. Jou migh'
ha+e no'iced your o8n 0eha+iour of 0eing ner+ous 8hen someone is cri'ical of you 8hich means 'ha'
you are no' comfor'a0le 8i'h 'he person 8ho cri'icises you. 4eing comfor'a0le 8i'h oneself demands
accep'ance of oneself 8i'h all 'he s'reng'hs and 8eaknesses. ?e are made up of s'reng'h and 8eaknessK
'hese are '8o sides of our personali'y. As 8e accep' our s'reng'h i' is also necessary 'o accep' our
8eakness. $ome are no' e+en ready 'o accep' 'heir o8n s'reng'hO
Jou are a counsellor and i' is a role. &i'her you pu' on 'he role or o'hers iden'ify you in 'ha'
role. 9enuineness here 8ill mean 'ha' you are free of 'ha' role. This a''i'ude of genuineness is kno8n
0y differen' names. $idney M. :ourard calls i' #rns'renc*. The clien's should 0e a0le 'o see your
real self no' a pu'-on self. Jou 0ecome a see-'hrough person. Ano'her psychological 'erm is
c$ngruenceK you are no' a piecemeal 0u' an in'egra'ed person 8i'h no dicho'omy 0e'8een +arious
aspec's of your personali'y and 'ha' self is called congruen' self< 8hereas if 'here is some discrepancy
0e'8een +arious dimensions of your personali'y 'hen i' is incongruence. ?ha' you appear 'o 0e ou'side<
is 'he same inside of you. -' is non-pre'en'ious. -' 8ill mean sinceri'y of rela'ionship< a cer'ain
relia0ili'y and predic'a0ili'y. The one 8ho 'rus's you 8ill no' 0e decei+ed.
The counsellor should 0e rela'i+ely more genuine 'han 'he counsellee. Clien's seem 'o 0e
preferring a counsellor 8ho is more genuine 'han skilled. 9enuineness e+okes 'hrus' in 'he o'her since
'here is no decep'ion and 'ha' 8ill facili'a'e 'he clien' 'o speak more a0ou' himHherself. To ha+e come
in'o con'ac' 8i'h a genuine person is in i'self a healing for 'he clien'. -n counselling si'ua'ion you do no'
'ake 'he a''i'ude of 0eing 0e''er 'han 'he clien'. Jou as 8ell as 'he clien' are s'ruggling 8i'h your
pro0lems of life and no8 in a gi+en si'ua'ion you are facili'a'ing a clien' and 'ha' should ne+er make
you 'hink 'ha' you are in a 8ay holier 'han 'he clien'. This does no' mean 'ha' 'here is no hiddenness in
you< 8hich is required 'o 0e an independen' personali'y< 0u' you 8ill endea+our 'o 0e Eus' 'he self you
are 8i'hou' 0eing affec'ed 0y any role. The a''i'ude of genuineness may 0e e/pressed in +arious 8ays.
8+ UNFEIGNING UNDERSTANDING
1.#
Carl came 'o a counsellor 8ho 8as looking +ery 'ired af'er a hea+y session 8i'h a fe8
counsellees. 4ecause of his 'iredness 'he counsellor could no' concen'ra'e on 8ha' Carl 8as 'elling and
ye' kep' up 8i'h his nods and MFnhumM e+en 8hen he missed 'he clien' 8i'hou' clarifying and ge''ing 'he
correc' informa'ion. -' is fake unders'anding 8hich goes agains' genuineness. -f you ha+e missed 'he
clien'< ask himHher 'o e/plain 'o you once again. May 0e you are a''en'i+e 0u' could no' unders'and 'he
message< and here 'oo your genuineness should promp' you 'o ask for clarifica'ion.
.+ EGPRESSING DIRECTL:
?hen $i+a counsels a girl he has a 'erri0le headache and his 8hole compor'men' 0e'rays 'ha' he
is feeling uncomfor'a0le. -' 8ould 0e 8elcome 'o accep' 'ha' he is no' comfor'a0le on accoun' of his
headache.
1+ RESPONDING IMMEDIATEL:
Puni'ha is generally cau'ious. $he 8an's 'o use 'he righ' 8ord a' 'he righ' 'ime. -n her
responding 'here should no' 0e any e/'ra 8ord< she 'hinks. $he 8ould make 'he 8hole counselling
misera0le for 'he counsellee for 8an' of 0eing ready 'o respond 8i'h 8ha'e+er 8ords she is a0le 'o
address 'he clien'. A' 'he same 'ime you should no' rush in such a 8ay 'ha' 0efore 'he clien' could
comple'e 'he sen'ence you are ready 8i'h your response. =eadiness 8i'hou' 0eing impulsi+e 8ill 0e 'he
ideal. The clien's need Mpsychological spaceM 8hich means 'o say 'ha' 'he clien's af'er speaking should
ha+e a space 0efore you could respond. This is only 'o make sure 'ha' 'he clien' has no'hing more 'o say
a' 'ha' momen'.
/+ 5EING SPONTANEOUS
$ugir'ha has learned 'he counselling 'echniques and forma' so 8ell 'ha' she 8ould ne+er de+ia'e
from 'he forma' gi+en. -rrespec'i+e of 8ha' si'ua'ion presen's i'self she 8ill s'ick on 'o her forma'.
)orma's are only guidelines and 'hey canno' 0e applied uni+ersally 'o e+ery si'ua'ion. There should 0e a
cer'ain originali'y on your par'. Jour spon'anei'y only adds 'o 'he 0eau'y of 'he counselling process.
;+ MANIFESTING 6ULNERA5ILIT:
-f you appear 'o 0e 'oo holy and e/al'ed< 'he clien's may a+oid you 0ecause you are 'oo Mholy.M
Jou ha+e your o8n defici's like any0ody else. Jou do no' ha+e 'o 'ake e/'ra pain 'o re+eal your
shado8-side of your personali'y 0u' a+oid pu''ing a holy co+ering o+er your shado8. Jou are capa0le
of e/periencing all sor's of nega'i+e feelings. -' is all righ' 'ha' 0y chance 'he clien's come 'o kno8 8ho
you are 0ecause 0y only sho8ing your real self and accep'ing 'he same you in+i'e 'he clien' 'o do 'he
same 8i'h regard 'o himHherself.
-+ CLEARING PIPELINES
Plum0ers clean 'he pipe lines 8hen 'hey are 0locked so 'ha' 8a'er 8ould flo8 freely. Any
0lockade 8ill pre+en' free flo8 of 8a'er. -n 'he same 8ay if some'hing concerning 'he clien' is
0o'hering 'he counsellor< unless 'ha' is deal' 8i'h< 'he counselling 8ill no' 0e smoo'h. -' is 0e''er 'ha' 'he
counsellor e/presses i'. @nce 8hen my residence 8as nearer 'o a seminary< a fe8 seminarians used 'o
come 'o me for spiri'ual counselling. All of 'hem 8ould phone me and make an appoin'men' and 0e on
'ime 'o mee' me. 4u' one indi+idual 8ould make an appoin'men' and 8ould no' 'urn up 0efore a' leas'
half an hour elapsed. This happened no' once< 0u' prac'ically e+ery 'ime he had 'o mee' me. Af'er a
1.*
fe8 +isi's< - gen'ly 0rough' 'o his no'ice ho8 - had 0een 8ai'ing for him lea+ing aside my o'her
commi'men's. )or< 8i'hou' 'his clearing - 8ould no' ha+e func'ioned 8ell 8i'h 'ha' seminarian. This is
called clearing pipelines.
<+ 5EING NON7DEFENSI6E
Clien's migh' find ou' some'hing in you annoys 'hem and 'hey poin' i' ou'. @r i' could 0e as a
resul' of nega'i+e 'ransference 'hey find faul' 8i'h you as 'hey did 8i'h 'heir au'hori'y figures a' home.
They may openly e/press nega'i+e feelings 'o8ards you. @nce 8hile a colleague of mine< a
psychologis' 8as in charge of some seminarians as 'heir direc'or< one of 'hem did no' rela'e 'o him 8ell
and as far as possi0le he 8ould a+oid 'he direc'or< and 8as nega'i+e. ?hen asked he said 'ha' he
disliked psychologis's. Tha' 8as a hang-up 8hich he 8ould ha+e acquired 'hrough a 0i''er e/perience
8i'h a psychologis' and 'ha' he proEec'ed on 'o 'he direc'or and fel' nega'i+e. ?he'her i' is a real
pro0lem of yours 'ha' is poin'ed ou'< or a 'ransference pro0lem 'ha' is proEec'ed on you< i' is 8or'h
dealing pa'ien'ly 8i'h 'he clien'. -n any case< i' migh' pro+ide you 8i'h a feed0ack as 'o your dealing
especially 8i'h 'he clien's or a' leas' you 8ill come 'o kno8 your o8n reac'ion 'o 'he clien's 8hen 'hey
are nega'i+e.
4+ 5EING CONSISTENT
7uman 0eings ha+e 'he knack 'o pick up messages from 0ody mo+emen's. 7idden messages
leak ou' 'hrough 'he 0ody. All 'ha' is mos' +isi0le is your 0ody. Jour 8ords migh' camouflage your 'rue
e/perience 8hich manifes's i'self 'hrough your 0ody. 4eing consis'en' 8ill mean 'ha' you repor' only
8ha' you e/perience. 4eing annoyed and saying 'ha' you are happy is inconsis'ency 0e'8een 8ha' you
are e/periencing and 8ha' you are saying.
)rom 'he foregoing< i' 0ecomes e+iden' 'o us 'ha' 0eing genuine 8ill a''rac' 'he clien's.
9enuineness is goodness and as such i' 8ould make o'hers like you for your genuineness. A person
8ho is commi''ed 'o self-gro8'h 8ill endea+our 'o 0e genuine in hisHher day-'o-day li+ing. -' is no' 'he
ques'ion of 0eing genuine for a day and gi+e i' up on 'he ne/' day. -' should 0e a ha0i'ual a''i'ude. -f i'
has 'o 0e ha0i'ual< i' has 'o 0e prac'ised e+eryday and a' e+ery momen'< o'her8ise i' 8ill cease 'o 0e
ha0i'ual< and consequen'ly i' 8ill ne+er 0e genuineness a' all. &+en if o'her skills 8ere lacking 'ha'
8ould no' 0e 'oo much of a dis'ur0ance 'o 'he clien' 0u' if genuineness is 8an'ing 'he 8hole 'hing is a
pro0lem for 'he clien'.
.. RESPECT
8;.
=espec' is 'he regard 8e ha+e for 'he o'her Eus' 0ecause 'he o'her is a human person. As Carl =.
=ogers pu's i'< i' is unc$ndi#i$nl '$si#i@e regrd for 'he o'her. -' should 0e uncondi'ional in 'he sense
'ha' no condi'ion is pu' for 'he accep'ance of 'he o'her< a+oiding all CifsB and C0u'Ms.B The a''i'ude should
0e a posi'i+e one 0ecause 'he persons are good 'hough 'heir ac'ions may no' 0e good. -' is 8i'h 'he
dis'inc'ion of person and 0eha+iour 'ha' you accep' 'he clien' and since 'he clien' is good< your a''i'ude
should 0e posi'i+e. $imply cce'#ing #!e $#!er s !eLs!e is) is res'ec#. =espec' is 'he apprecia'ion of
'he human digni'y. =espec' is e/pressed more 0y ac'ion 'han 0y 8ords. The 8ay one can percei+e
respec' could 0e many:
8+ 5EING A6AILA5LE
1.,
Jou +alue 'he clien' so much 'ha' you 8ould like 'o spend your 'ime and energy for 'he clien'
0ecause heHshe is 8or'h more 'han your 'ime. More 'han 'he e/'erior a+aila0ili'y 8ha' is required is 'he
in'erior a+aila0ili'y. &+en if you are spending 'en minu'es you are 'here 'o'ally.
.+ PA:ING ATTENTION
Along 8i'h a+aila0ili'y you need 'o pay a''en'ion 'o 'he clien'. The clien' is so precious 'ha' you
8ill no' 8as'e 'he clien'Ms 'ime and energy 0y your non-a''ending. Fsually 8e pay a''en'ion 'o 'he 'hings
8e +alue mos'. The lack of a''en'ion is i'self an indica'ion 'ha' 'he clien' is no' 8or'h paying a''en'ion
'o.
1+ 5EING FOR THE CLIENT
Jou are no' Eus' 'here 'he 8hole person in fron' of 'he clien' 0u' you are 'here for 'he sake of 'he
clien'Ms in'eres'. Jou 8ill 0e firm 8i'h 'he pro0lem and 0ene+olen' 8i'h 'he clien'< 0ecause you care for
'he clien'. &+en if you 8ere 'o challenge 'he clien' you 8ill someho8 indica'e 'ha' you care for 'he
8elfare of 'he clien'.
/+ PH:SICALL: PRI=ING
-' is no' only 'he a0s'rac' concep' of 'he personali'y of 'he o'her 'ha' is 'o 0e respec'ed 0u' e+en
'he 0ody of 'he clien' is 'o 0e respec'ed. Therefore making use of 'he clien' for oneMs o8n selfish
gra'ifica'ion is ou' of ques'ion in 'he counselling con'e/'. !o harm should 0e done in any 8ay 'o 'he
clien'.
;+ 6ALUING DI6ERSIT:
Clien's migh' come from cross-cul'ural 0ackground. They need no' resem0le you< nor should
you e/pec' 'hem 'o 0eha+e 'he 8ay you 0eha+e in your cul'ure< and ha+e 'he same religious 0ackground
as you ha+e. An apprecia'ion of some'hing dissimilar from you is called for.
-+ 6ALUING INDI6IDUALIT:
Clien's ha+e 'heir o8n au'onomous li+es as indi+iduals. -' refers 'o 'he uniqueness of 'he clien'
e+en a' 'imes 0eing queer or freak. Clien's 0eing queer need no' o+er8helm you.
<+ ASSUMING GOOD9ILL
Clien's approach a counsellor for 8orking ou' 'heir pro0lems. ?hen 'he clien's approach you<
you shall 'ake 'his for gran'ed e+en 8i'h reluc'an' and resis'an' clien's unless 'he ill-8ill is pro+ed. To
presume 'ha' 'he clien' is no' serious enough 'o 8ork ou' hisHher pro0lem may 0e dis'rus'ing 'he
good8ill of 'he clien'.
4+ FAITH IN HISLHER POTENTIAL
1..
-' is 'o a+oid an a''i'ude of pa'roniAing 'hinking 'ha' 'he clien' may no' 0e adequa'e or does no'
ha+e enough of resources and skills 'o sol+e hisHher pro0lems. Carried 'o 'he e/'reme i' is simply gi+ing
ad+ice 'o 'he clien' since 'he counsellor presumes 'ha' 'he counsellee does no' kno8 'o sol+e hisHher
o8n pro0lem. $ome people unders'and counselling as gi+ing ad+ice 0u' i' is far from 'ha'. 4eginners
usually 'ry for a 8hile and gi+e up and land on gi+ing ad+ice.
2+ FAITH IN RESPONSI5ILIT:
The clien' no' only is a0le 'o 8ork ou' hisHher pro0lems 8i'h your facili'a'ion 0u' heHshe is
capa0le of 'aking responsi0ili'y for hisHher o8n life< func'ioning< and carrying ou' 'he decisions heHshe
makes.
80+ GI6ING FREEDOM
A' 'imes i' is possi0le 'ha' 'he clien's make decisions 8hich are no' in 'une 8i'h your e'hical
s'andards or 'he decisions 8ould 0ring in more pro0lems 'han 'he one 'ha' is curren'ly faced. Jour du'y
is 'o make 'he clien' 0ecome a8are of 'he consequences of 'he decisions heHshe is making and lea+e
himHher 'o himHherself. Does 'his mean indifference 'o 'he 8ell0eing of 'he clien'L -f 'he clien'Ms
decisions affec' himHher mildly< you could 'o'ally lea+e 'hem 'o 'he discre'ion of 'he clien'< ha+ing
poin'ed ou' 'he consequencesK 0u' if i' is a ques'ion of life and dea'h< your indifference means lack of
caring< and hence i' is no' respec' 0u' ra'her disrespec' for a human life.
88+ REMAINING NEUTRAL
As a rule< no nega'i+e 0eha+iour has 'o 0e reinforced. A clien' repor's 'ha' he had raped fi+e
girls. Jou need no' applaud him for his heroic deed< nor should you reprimand him. Jou may no'
appro+e of 'he ac'ion< and ye' accep'ance of 'he person 8ill demand 'ha' you do no' 0lame him ei'her.
Jou could only 0ring 'o his a8areness 'he seriousness of 'he ac' and all 'he social implica'ions i' migh'
ha+e 0o'h for him and for 'he +ic'ims. Apar' from 'ha'< praising or 0laming 'he clien' for a nega'i+e
0eha+iour may no' 0e appropria'e.
8.+ 5EING HONEST
)alse assurance and suppor' are disrespec' 'o 'he clien'< for< 'he clien' is duped in'o 'hinking 'ha'
e+ery'hing is all righ' since you ha+e 0een falsely suppor'ing. )or e/ample< a hear' pa'ien' under'akes
rigorous physical e/ercises 8hich you percei+e are dangerous and ye' you 8ould encourage himHher 'o
con'inueK here you care less for 'he heal'h and e+en for 'he life of 'he clien'.
7a+ing seen 8ha' respec' is< in a''i'ude as 8ell as in 0eha+iour< one 0egins 'o 8onder ho8 far
'his respec' should go. To'al respec' means accep'ance of 'he o'her as heHshe is. !o8 ho8 8ould you
go a0ou' 8i'h a clien' 8ho appears 'o 0e incompe'en' 'o manage 0y himHherselfL -' is a ques'ion of
8he'her you are direc'i+e or non-direc'i+e. !on-direc'i+e is 'he ideal 0u' 'here may 0e si'ua'ions 'ha'
8arran' a modera'ely direc'i+e me'hod. ?i'hou' undermining 'he capa0ili'ies of 'he clien's 8e can
dis'inguish people a' differen' le+els of efficiency. People 8ho are 0elo8 a+erage in in'elligence
func'ion no' as 8ell as 'hose 8ho are in'elligen'K children may no' 0e a0le 'o s'and on 'heir o8n for 8an'
of ma'uri'y of 'hough' and e/perienceK people in a crisis lose 'heir 0alance and lef' 'o 'hemsel+es 8ill
only de'eriora'e all 'he moreK and people af'er a 'rauma'ic e/perience are so 0e8ildered 'ha' 'hey are
immo0iliAed 'o organiAe 'hemsel+es. $uch cases 8ill respond fa+oura0ly 'o your modera'e direc'i+e
counselling. 7ere respec' is no' +iola'ed< for< since you lo+e 'he person and respec' himHher 'o'ally< you
1.1
'ake in'o accoun' 'he 8hole si'ua'ion and make an assessmen' as 'o 'he effec'i+eness of hisHher effor'
and 'hen you +en'ure 'o 0e modera'ely direc'i+e.
4u' 'o assume a' e+ery se'0ack of a clien' 'ha' 'he clien' needs only a kind of direc'i+e
counselling is a disrespec' 'o 'he clien'. Direc'i+e counselling in i's e/'reme is smo'hering and no0ody
can gro8 8hen smo'hered. &+en in a modera'ely direc'i+e counselling 'here could 0e ample freedom
and space for 'he clien' 'o mo+e a0ou' and choose 0e'8een decisions< 'hough i' is you 8ho direc'ed 'he
clien' 'o arri+e a' a specific decision. !on-direc'i+e does no' mean 'ha' you lea+e 'he clien' 'o
himHherself. Jour role as a counsellor 8ill mean 'ha' you gi+e direc'ion 'o 0e counselling 8hich comes
from your e/per'ise in 'he counselling field and a' 'he same 'ime as a mark of respec' you lea+e 'he
clien' 'o decide for himHherself. To'al respec' is no' synonymous 8i'h no-direc'ion and gi+ing a
direc'ion in a focused 8ay is par' of respec' and in no 8ay nega'es such a +alue as respec'. :$u c$uld
$'er#e (r$& "eing &$der#el* direc#i@e #$ &$der#el* n$n7direc#i@e.
=espec' is an inaliena0le aspec' of human personali'y. 7uman 0eings ha+e 0ecome e+er more
conscious of 'heir digni'y as persons and demand 'ha' 'hey 0e respec'ed for 8ha' 'hey are as human
persons. ?i'h 8onder and a8e 8e look a' 'he uniqueness of 'he indi+idual 8i'h hisHher digni'y and 'ha'
is respec'.
1. 5ASIC EMPATH:
8;1
&mpa'hy is a mode of ga'hering su0Eec'i+e da'a a0ou' ano'her self 'hrough +icarious
in'rospec'ion. I# is #!e "ili#* #$ en#er in#$ nd unders#nd #!e A$rld %in#ernl (r&e $( re(erence+
$( n$#!er 'ers$n nd c$&&unic#e #!is #$ !i&L!er #$ !isL!er s#is(c#i$n.

A. COMPONENTS OF EMPATH:
&mpa'hy is 'he accura'e unders'anding of 8ha' 'he clien' is e/periencing 8i'hin himHherself and
'o communica'e 'his unders'anding ei'her +er0ally or non+er0ally or 0y 0o'h 'o 'he sa'isfac'ion of 'he
clien'. Thus 8e can find 'hree componen's of empa'hy.
8+ UNDERSTANDING
)irs' of all i' is 'he correc' unders'anding of 'he e/perience of 'he clien'. -' is your
percep'i+eness 8hich comes firs'. This percep'i+eness should 0e accura'e. Me'aphysically i' is ra'her
difficul' 'o unders'and e/ac'ly 8ha' 'he o'her is e/periencing 8i'hin himHherself. All 'he same< 'here is
commonness in 8ha' you e/perience and in 8ha' - e/perience. And 'his unders'anding should 0e 'he
8orld of 'he clien' as e/perienced 0y himHher.
.+ COMMUNICATING
The second componen' is 'o communica'e your unders'anding 'o 'he clien'. -' requires cer'ain
skills or kno8-ho8 'echniques. -f you do no' kno8 'he skills of communica'ing< your unders'anding is
useless and does no' help 'he clien' in any 8ay. Jou should ha+e 'he kno8-ho8< as 8ell as asser'i+eness
'o communica'e 8hen called for. Do no' lea+e 'he clien' 'o presume 'ha' you unders'and himHherK i' has
'o 0e communica'ed in one 8ay or o'her. There are some people 8ho communica'e 'heir unders'anding
of 'he e/perience of 'he clien' in 8ordsK some o'hers 8ill make use of non+er0al languages< and ye'
1.7
o'hers may make use of 0o'h. ?ha' me'hod you employ is no' impor'an'< and all 'ha' ma''ers is 'ha' you
someho8 communica'e 'o 'he clien' your unders'anding.
1+ TO THE SATISFACTION OF THE CLIENT
Jou migh' correc'ly unders'and 'he e/perience of 'he clien' and you migh' ha+e a''emp'ed 'o
communica'e 'he same unders'anding in some 8ay or o'her. 4u' you are no' sure 'ha' 8ha' you
communica'ed 8en' home. Tha' 'he clien' unders'ood your unders'anding is confirmed 0y hisHher
reac'ions. -f 'he clien' did no' unders'and your unders'anding< 'hen empa'hy is no' comple'e.
A' 'his le+el 8e qualify 'he 8ord empa'hy 8i'h 'he adEec'i+e M0asicM as agains' Mad+ancedM a0ou'
8hich 8e shall see la'er.
?ha' 'he clien' is e/periencing can 0e unders'ood in 'he follo8ing 8ays: a> -' is 'he e/perience
proper 'ha' 8hich happens 'o 'he clien' as 8hen a lady says 'ha' her hus0and shou'ed a' her and 'he
children las' nigh' af'er hea+y drinking. 0> $econdly< 'he 0eha+iour of 'he clien'. ?ha' 'he clien' does
in response 'o 'he e+en' or e/perience proper. 7ere in 'he e/ample< 'he lady shou'ed 0ack and pushed
him ou'side and locked 'he door from 8i'hin. 7er shou'ing 0ack and pushing him ou'side and locking
'he room are her 0eha+iour. c> Thirdly< 8ha' 'he clien' feels a0ou' i'. 7ere 'he lady feels furious a' her
hus0and. Therefore 8hen 8e say 'ha' 'he counsellor should unders'and 8ha' 'he clien' is e/periencing<
i' 8ould amoun' 'o unders'anding 8ha' had happened 'o 'he clien'< 8ha' 'he clien' did a0ou' i' and 8ha'
'he clien' fel' a0ou' i'.
@ne is said 'o 0e empa'he'ic 8hen one picks up 'he feelings of 'he clien' and e/presses 'hem
along 8i'h 'he e/perience or 0eha+iour of 'he clien' using 'he formula: you feel ;affec'> 0ecause
;e/perience or 0eha+iour>. Thus in 'he e/ample of 'he lady 8e Eus' spoke a0ou'< 'he counsellor could
say like 'his 8hich migh' sound empa'he'ic: CJou feel furious ;affec'> a' your hus0and for 8ha' he has
done 'o you and your children ;e/perience>.M 7ere feeling and e/perience of 'he clien' are com0ined.
$upposing she feels guil'y for ha+ing 0ea'en him up and 'hro8n him ou' of 'he house 'he counsellor
8ould address like 'his: MJou regre' ;affec'> 0ecause you ha+e 0ea'en up your hus0and and 'hro8n him
a8ay ;0eha+iour>.M 7ere 'he feeling and 'he 0eha+iour of 'he clien' are com0ined. )eeling has 'o 0e
e/pressed 0y all means< and along 8i'h 'ha' you could e/press ei'her 'he e/perience or 'he 0eha+iour
depending upon 8ha' makes sense in a par'icular con'e/'. -n 'he firs' e/ample 'he counsellor e/pressed
'he feeling and e/perience of 'he clien' and in 'he second heHshe e/pressed 'he feeling and 'he 0eha+iour
of 'he clien'. This is 8ha' 8e ha+e already seen 8i'h regard 'o responding 'o 'he feeling of 'he clien'
using 'he formula Cyou feel ;feeling> 0ecause ;con'en'>.B -n 'he place of 'he con'en'< you inser' ei'her 'he
e/perience or 'he 0eha+iour of 'he clien' 'o make 'he empa'hic s'a'emen' comple'e.
A. A. S:MPATH:7EMPATH: COMPARISON S:MPATH:7EMPATH: COMPARISON
Fsually empa'hy is iden'ified 8i'h sympa'hyK 0u' 'hey are '8o differen' 'hings. $ympa'hy is Fsually empa'hy is iden'ified 8i'h sympa'hyK 0u' 'hey are '8o differen' 'hings. $ympa'hy is
agreemen' 8i'h ano'her personMs feeling. )or e/ample< if 'he counsellee feels angry< 'he counsellor 'oo agreemen' 8i'h ano'her personMs feeling. )or e/ample< if 'he counsellee feels angry< 'he counsellor 'oo
feels 'he same< and if 'he counsellee feels sad 'he counsellor 'oo does so. -f you go in for emo'ional feels 'he same< and if 'he counsellee feels sad 'he counsellor 'oo does so. -f you go in for emo'ional
agreemen' you land up 0eing e/haus'ed< for you 8ould 0e mee'ing a num0er of clien's 8i'h +arious agreemen' you land up 0eing e/haus'ed< for you 8ould 0e mee'ing a num0er of clien's 8i'h +arious
'ypes of feelings. $ince sympa'hy is an emo'ional iden'ifica'ion< your 'hinking po8er is lo8ered 'ypes of feelings. $ince sympa'hy is an emo'ional iden'ifica'ion< your 'hinking po8er is lo8ered
0ecause you are o+er'aken 0y 'he feeling 'one. -n empa'hy you ha+e an in'ellec'ual iden'ifica'ion 8i'h 0ecause you are o+er'aken 0y 'he feeling 'one. -n empa'hy you ha+e an in'ellec'ual iden'ifica'ion 8i'h
'he e/perience of 'he clien'. &mo'ional agreemen' in sympa'hy and in'ellec'ual agreemen' in empa'hy 'he e/perience of 'he clien'. &mo'ional agreemen' in sympa'hy and in'ellec'ual agreemen' in empa'hy
are qui'e differen' 'hings. ?ha' facili'a'es gro8'h in 'he clien' is empa'hy. $ympa'hy is iden'ical 8i'h are qui'e differen' 'hings. ?ha' facili'a'es gro8'h in 'he clien' is empa'hy. $ympa'hy is iden'ical 8i'h
1.2
compassion< pi'y< and condolence< 8hereas empa'hy is iden'ified 8i'h unders'anding and effec'i+e compassion< pi'y< and condolence< 8hereas empa'hy is iden'ified 8i'h unders'anding and effec'i+e
helping ou'. helping ou'.
S*&'#!* E&'#!*
1. Agreemen' 8i'h ano'herBs feelings. 1. An in'ellec'ual iden'ifica'ion 8i'h a personBs
feelings< 'hough's and a''i'udes.
#. &mo'ional elemen' is predominan'. #. -n'ellec'ual and percep'i+e elemen's are
predominan'.
*. -n+ol+ed in 'he o+er8helming
e/perience of 'he clien' and has 'he
same feeling of 'he clien'.
*. Fnders'ands 'he clien'Bs frame of reference<
con'e/'< ho8 heHshe feels< and 8hy< and is 'hus free
from 'he clien'Bs o+er8helming e/perience.
,. )eels as if heHshe is 'he clien'. ,. )eels as if heHshe 8ere 'he clien'.
5. 5. 5EHA6IOUR MODALITIES 5EHA6IOUR MODALITIES
The 0eha+iour modali'ies of empa'hy 8ill 0e as follo8s: The 0eha+iour modali'ies of empa'hy 8ill 0e as follo8s:
8+ REPORT FEELING AND CONTENT %EGPERIENCE OR 5EHA6IOUR+
@ne of 'he sures' signs of ha+ing 0een empa'hic is 'he communica'ion of 'he unders'anding of
'he feeling of 'he clien' along 8i'h hisHher e/perience or 0eha+iour. This should 0e your primary
concern. ?hen feelings are no' picked up< in no 8ay can 8e say 'ha' you ha+e 0een empa'hic.
.+ CHECKING ACCURAC:
As 8e ha+e already seen 'ha' empa'hy 8ill no' 0e comple'e unless your unders'anding of hisHher
e/perience is communica'ed 'o himHher 'o hisHher sa'isfac'ion. The reac'ion of 'he clien' comes as a
confirma'ion of your empa'hic unders'anding. 9o on modifying your repor' un'il i' clicks 8ell 8i'h 'he
clien'Ms in'ernal e/perience.
1+ PICKING UP CORE MESSAGES
Clien's usually speak a lo' and e+en 'hings 'ha' are no' rele+an' 'o 'he pro0lem 'hey propose 0u'
your responsi0ili'y is 'o pick up 'he core and cen'ral messages 'o make 'he counselling clear a+oiding
confusion and am0igui'y.
/+ KEEP THE CLIENT ON HISLHER AGENDA
-' is ano'her 8ay of asking you 'o 0e focused and le' no' 'he clien' escape from impor'an'
considera'ions. @'her8ise i' is merely a 8as'e of 'ime and energy 0o'h for you and for 'he clien'.
;+ 5EING FLEGI5LE
1.3
Jour repor'ing should 0e 'en'a'i+e so 'ha' 'he clien' does no' feel cons'rained. The clien' should
ha+e 'he freedom 'o confirm or deny 8ha' you repor'. 7eHshe should no' 0e compelled 'o accep' 8ha'
you say e+en if 8ha' you say may 0e correc'. Perhaps 'he clien' is no' ready 'o accep' your correc'
unders'anding a' 'his par'icular momen'.
-+ NOT PARROTING
Jour repor'ing should al8ays add some'hing 'o 8ha' 'he clien' has said and 'hus you enhance
'he clien'Ms unders'anding. @n 'he con'rary< 8hen you keep repea'ing 8ha' 'he clien' 8as saying 'hen
'he counselling canno' proceed fur'her 0ecause 'here is no ne8 insigh'. Jou are required 'o formula'e
your repor' in such a 8ay 'ha' i' adds 'o 'he unders'anding of 'he clien'.
<+ NO CRA=: TALK
A' 'imes you ge' clien's 8ho go on 'alking for hours 'oge'her 8i'h li''le pro+oca'ion. Clien'
ram0ling 8ill 'ake you 'o a la0yrin'h and you as 8ell as 'he clien' 8ill ge' los'. ?hene+er craAy 'alk
goes on< you summariAe 'he core ma'erials and in+i'e 'he clien' 'o proceed in a focused 8ay.
4+ NO DA9DLING
$ome'imes 'he counsellor and 'he clien' s'ar' 8i'h all en'husiasm and good8ill and af'er a 8hile
'hey percei+e 'ha' 'hey remain in 'he same s'age 8i'hou' mo+ing for8ard and in some cases 'hey
proceed a li''le fur'her and come 0ack 'o 'he same spo' like a +icious circle or a merry-go-round.
2+ NO LONG79INDEDNESS
"ong-8indedness is 'he counsellorMs 'alking more 'han necessary. -f you ha+e a need 'o 'alk<
you 0e''er approach ano'her counsellor for your o8n need and you need no' mee' your need 8hen
clien's come for counselling. Jou should no' 0e 'oo slo8 in ans8ering< or 'o'ally silen'. Af'er 'he
clien's 'alking you need 'o respond 'o himHher nor should you pu' a ques'ion 8i'hou' empa'hically
responding 'o himHher. The rule is 8hen 'he clien' speaks< respond empa'hically and 'hen if you 8an'<
pu' a pro0e. Jour 'alking should 0e rela'i+ely frequen' and 'rim using shor' responses.
80+ NOT 5EING IMPULSI6E 80+ NOT 5EING IMPULSI6E
-f you are 'oo quick 'o respond you are likely 'o make mis'akes since you do no' ha+e enough -f you are 'oo quick 'o respond you are likely 'o make mis'akes since you do no' ha+e enough
'ime 'o 'hink for yourself. -f you are 'oo cau'ious and slo8 i' migh' indica'e indifference or fearfulness. 'ime 'o 'hink for yourself. -f you are 'oo cau'ious and slo8 i' migh' indica'e indifference or fearfulness.
-' is good 'o s'rike a 0alance 0e'8een 'hese '8o e/'remes. -' is good 'o s'rike a 0alance 0e'8een 'hese '8o e/'remes.
88+ NOTING CLIENT RESISTANCE 88+ NOTING CLIENT RESISTANCE
)rom 'he reac'ion of 'he clien' 'o your empa'hic response you can make ou' if 'he clien' is free )rom 'he reac'ion of 'he clien' 'o your empa'hic response you can make ou' if 'he clien' is free
or resis'ing. $ome'imes 'he resis'ance can 0e due 'o 8an' of accuracy on your par' or a' 'imes i' could or resis'ing. $ome'imes 'he resis'ance can 0e due 'o 8an' of accuracy on your par' or a' 'imes i' could
0e 'oo much of accuracy on your par' 8hich is 'hrea'ening. )or< empa'hy a' 'imes is 'hrea'ening. $ince 0e 'oo much of accuracy on your par' 8hich is 'hrea'ening. )or< empa'hy a' 'imes is 'hrea'ening. $ince
empa'hy is a kind of in'imacy< people 8ho are no' comfor'a0le 8i'h in'imacy may find i' difficul' 'o 0e empa'hy is a kind of in'imacy< people 8ho are no' comfor'a0le 8i'h in'imacy may find i' difficul' 'o 0e
comfor'a0le 8i'h your empa'hic responses. comfor'a0le 8i'h your empa'hic responses.
116
?hen clien's usually speak of an Munders'anding counsellorM 'hey are Eus' 'alking in 'heir o8n ?hen clien's usually speak of an Munders'anding counsellorM 'hey are Eus' 'alking in 'heir o8n
language a0ou' an empa'hic counsellor 8ho sees 'he pro0lem as 'he clien's see i'. There are 'imes 8hen language a0ou' an empa'hic counsellor 8ho sees 'he pro0lem as 'he clien's see i'. There are 'imes 8hen
clien's come Eus' 'o pour ou' 'heir 0urdens 8i'h no in'en'ion of 8orking ou' any of 'hem. -n 'hose clien's come Eus' 'o pour ou' 'heir 0urdens 8i'h no in'en'ion of 8orking ou' any of 'hem. -n 'hose
momen's you need no' 'ake up 'he responsi0ili'y 'o sol+e 'heir pro0lems< ins'ead< 0e empa'hic and 'ha' momen's you need no' 'ake up 'he responsi0ili'y 'o sol+e 'heir pro0lems< ins'ead< 0e empa'hic and 'ha'
8ill heal 'he clien's 'o a grea'er e/'en' and if 'hey so desire 'o 8ork ou' 'heir pro0lems la'er< you can 0e 8ill heal 'he clien's 'o a grea'er e/'en' and if 'hey so desire 'o 8ork ou' 'heir pro0lems la'er< you can 0e
of ser+ice 'o 'hem. of ser+ice 'o 'hem.
/. AD6ANCED EMPATH:
8;/

?e ha+e already seen in 'he preceding passages 8ha' is 0asic empa'hy and no8 8e shall
consider 8ha' is ad+anced empa'hy. 4asic empa'hy is 'he reflec'ion of 'he surface feelings of 'he clien'<
8hereas ad+anced empa'hy is 'he reflec'ion of 'he deeper feelings 'ha' lie 0uried undernea'h< ou'side 'he
a8areness of 'he clien'. -n ad+anced empa'hy 'he counsellor is no' in'erpre'ing 'he si'ua'ion of 'he clien'
0u' ra'her heHshe picks up 8ha' has 0een half said< hin'ed a'< said implici'ly< lies 0uried and said in a
confused 8ay. I# is "ringing #$ #!e sur(ce #!e (eelings #!# lie dee' d$An. -' is reading 0e'8een 'he
lines. -n 0asic empa'hy 'he counsellor makes use of in'erchangea0le feeling-8ords 8hereas in ad+anced
empa'hy heHshe disco+ers ne8 feeling-8ords< 8hich are no' e/pressed 0y 'he clien'< 0u' percei+ed 0y
'he counsellor deep do8n in 'he clien'. -n 'his sense< i' is addi'i+e 'o 8ha' 'he clien' has already s'a'ed.
!o8 le' us consider some of 'he 8ays in 8hich ad+anced empa'hy can 0e used 0y 'he
counsellors. -' is a' 'imes risky 'o make use of ad+anced empa'hy< for< 'he clien' may 0e 'hrea'ened 0y
'he re+ela'ion of 'he hidden feelings. $ince i' 0rings ou' some'hing from 'he 0o''om and from 'he
unconscious< i' is a challenge 8hich 'he clien' migh' refu'e or reluc'an'ly admi'. There is 'he possi0ili'y
of losing 'he clien' 0ecause 8ha' has come 'o 'he surface is no' accep'a0le 'o 'he clien'< and 'he clien'
may a+oid 'he counsellor. Therefore i' has 'o 0e Eudiciously used 0y 'he counsellor.
8+ EGPRESSING THE IMPLIED
)rom 'he 8ay 'he counsellee speaks 0o'h +er0ally and non-+er0ally< 'he counsellor picks up 'he
cues of 'he 'hings 'ha' lie hidden and no' e/pressed 0u' are 'here defini'ely. -f you claim 'o iden'ify
some'hing 'ha' is no' 'here hidden< i' is no' empa'hy and much less ad+anced empa'hy. Tha' 8hich you
make e/plici' should ha+e 0een 'here in 'he counsellee implici'ly.
Counsellee: @f all my sons 'he one - lo+ed mos' 8as $'e+e< 0u' 'he 8ay he 8as ans8ering me 0ack
and 8as re0ellious made me 'erri0ly angry< and - am una0le 'o 'hink 'ha' $'e+e could do
such a 'hing 'o me.
Counsellor: Could i' 0e 'ha' you are hur' 0y your sonMs 0eha+iourL
Counsellee: - 8ould say 'ha' i' is more a hur' 'han anger 'ha' - feel righ' no8.
?ha' is e/plici' and e+iden' 0o'h for 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee a' face +alue is 'he
feeling of anger< 0u' in si'ua'ions of 'his sor' 8hen 'he lo+ed ones 'urn agains' us< 8e normally feel more
hur' 'han feel angry< for< if an enemy 8ere 'o 0e rude 8i'h us 8e migh' 0e angry< 0u' 8i'h 'he lo+ed ones
8e feel hur'. This feeling of hur' could 0e picked up 0y 'he counsellor from 'he 8ay 'he clien' 8as
sharing< and 'he 'ype of e/perience heHshe 8as narra'ing.
.+ IDENTIF:ING THEMES
Clien's keep repea'ing a 'heme qui'e of'en in 'he con+ersa'ion. A good lis'ener 8ill readily pick
up 'he message immedia'ely. @ne can see a par'icular 'heme running cons'an'ly like a 'hread.
111
Counsellee: $ome fi+e years 0ack - lo+ed $ara and 8e 8ere +ery s'eady< 0u' someho8
she fel' - am no' up 'o her mark< and she lef' meK 'hen - 8as in lo+e 8i'h !i'a<
8ho 8as s'udying 8i'h me. ?hen - said 'ha' - lo+ed her< she seemed happyK
0u' 8e par'ed as friendsK and no8 - ha+e a girl in my mind< 0u' - am afraid 'ha' -
migh' lose her< if - 'ell 'ha' - lo+e her. -n spi'e of my 'elling +ery earnes'ly
'ha' - need 'heir lo+e< 'hey deser'ed me.
Counsellor: ?ha' do you 'hink 'ha' made 'hem deser' youL
Counsellee: Ac'ually - donB' kno8. - al8ays remained su0missi+e and in need of 'heir help and
lo+e.
Counsellor: Could 'here 0e any game of Mpoor meM played in all 'hese si'ua'ionsL
The clien'Ms repea'ed lo+e failure is due 'o his psychological game of Mpoor meM 0y 8hich he 0egs
o'hers 'o lo+e him< and perhaps 'his psychological game 8hich 8as de'ec'ed 0y 'he girls unconsciously
had lef' him alone. -n differen' e/periences 8e find one par'icular 'heme 'ha' is cons'an'.
1+ CONNECTING ISLANDS
Clien's normally speak of differen' episodes and e/periences. Apparen'ly 'hey may look
dispara'e and disconnec'ed< and in fac' 'hey are unless someone pieces 'hem 'oge'her.
Counsellee: ?hen - 8as in 'he high school - had quarrelled 8i'h a 'eacher and sure - did
fail in his su0Eec's. -n 'he college 'oo< a lec'urer 8ho resem0led my
au'hori'arian fa'her failed me. "as' 8eek 8hen - 8en' for a Eo0 in'er+ie8< 'he
0ossy demeanour of 'he in'er+ie8er pu' me off. $omeho8 - find myself as a
failure in +arious si'ua'ions.
Counsellee: Did you a' any 'ime fail in 'he su0Eec's 'augh' 0y 'he 'eachers 8hom you
likedL
Counsellee: !o' so far.
Counsellor: -s i' pro0a0le 'ha' you do 8ell 8hen you like a person< and do +ery 0adly
8hen you do no' like a personL
Counsellee: @h< i' looks like 'ha'.
/+ CONCLUDING FROM PREMISES
?hen 'he clien's say a num0er of 'hings 8hich are someho8 connec'ed 'here is 'he possi0ili'y of
making a conclusion from 8ha' 'hey ha+e 0een 'alking. The conclusion may no' occur 'o 'heir mind<
0u' a counsellor could help 'hem make i'.
Counsellee: - ha+e 0een 8orking in a pri+a'e company as a 0us conduc'or. @f la'e 'hey ha+e s'opped
'aking in fresh employees. )or 'he las' Di8ali 'hey made a lo' of fuss 'o gi+e 0onus. -'
is difficul' 'o 'ake lea+e since 'hey ha+e made all s'ringen' measures 'o cur0 'he
8orkers.
Counsellor: ?ha' do you 'hink 'ha' 'he au'hori'ies are aiming a' 8i'h such measures as
you ha+e narra'edL
Counsellee: - am 8ondering if +olun'ary re'iremen' is in 'heir mind.
;+ LESS TO THE MORE
4y 'he empa'hic responses of 'he counsellor< 'he clien' is led from less kno8ledge 'o more
kno8ledge a0ou' 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion or resources.
11#
Counsellee: - ha+e a flair for music. - lis'en 'o music and - do no' miss any orches'ra. )or a0ou'
'hree years - ha+e 0een learning +iolin 0u' - am no' a0le 'o play a piece of music e+en
no8. - am 8ondering 8ha' is 8rong 8i'h my learningL
Counsellor: ?ha' do you 'hink of your ap'i'ude for playing musicL
Counsellee: - do no' kno8 if ap'i'ude is 'he one - need.
The counsellee nai+ely 'hough' 'ha' heHshe had enough ap'i'ude for music< 0u' 'he counsellor
analysing 'he si'ua'ion in'ui's and finds ou' 'ha' 'he clien' may no' ha+e 'he ap'i'ude 8hich heHshe claims
'o ha+e< and 'his kno8ledge is some'hing addi'i+e 'o 'he clien'Ms kno8ledge.
-+ SUMMARI=ING
5ery many 'imes summariAing adds 'o 'he kno8ledge of no' only 'he clien' 0u' also 'he
counsellor in unders'anding 'he si'ua'ion of 'he clien'. Things 'ha' 8ere no' clear 0ecome clearer no8<
'hings 'ha' s'ood disconnec'ed ge' connec'ed< and 'hings 'ha' 8ere 0uried come 'o 'he surface as insigh's
come 'o 'he clien' a0ou' 'he 'hings heHshe is dealing 8i'h. -n any case< summariAing is adding
some'hing ne8 'o 'he ma'erials 'ha' ha+e 0een already e/pressed.
Fsually 'he counsellor could do 'he summariAing. A' 'imes if 'he clien's are a0le and cle+er< 'he
counsellor could ask 'he clien's 'hemsel+es 'o summariAe 'he 'hings 'hey had 0een sharing up 'o a
cer'ain poin'. $ince in summariAing 'he clien's hear 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion in clear 'erms< cer'ain insigh's
are 0ound 'o come 'o 'hem.
$ummariAing could 0e used a' +arious occasions for 'he 0enefi' of 'he clien's. -n fac' i' ser+es as
an ad+anced empa'hy.
1. A' 'he 0eginning of a ne8 session: The clien's may 0e coming 'o you for a num0er of
sessions. &+ery 'ime 'he session has 'o 0e s'ar'ed. )or some clien's 'ha' could 0e an ordeal. To ease 'he
si'ua'ion and 'o make 'he clien's 'alk freely and ge' 'he 'hread of 'he pre+ious session< summariAing 'he
pre+ious session could 0e done ei'her 0y 'he counsellor or 0y 'he counsellee.
#. ?hen sessions go no8here: -' migh' happen 'ha' 'he session s'ar'ed 8ell< and 8hile 'he clien'
is 'alking< heHshe may 0e 'alking 'he same 'hing o+er and o+er again< perhaps no' realiAing i' or finding
i' difficul' 'o proceed fur'her. A' 'ha' 'ime< summariAing 8ha' 8en' on up 'o 'he 'ime 'he counsellor
in'er+enes< 8ould 0e useful for 'he clien' 'o go for8ard in a focused 8ay.
*. ?hen clien's ge' s'uck: A' 'imes clien's ge' s'uck in 'he middle of 'he counselling sessions. -'
may no' 0e in'en'ional. Perhaps you could 'ake i' as a silence and see if some'hing is for'hcoming. -f
you realiAe 'ha' 'he clien' go' s'uck and is no' a0le 'o proceed fur'her< you could make a summary
s'a'emen' of 8ha' 8en' on up 'o 'he 'ime of hisHher ge''ing s'uck. Jour summariAing may se' 'he
process mo+ing for 'he clien'.
The 8ays of e/pressing ad+anced empa'hy are no' so dis'inc'< and in fac' some of 'hem are
o+erlapping. -n any case if you can only add some kno8ledge and 0ring some'hing 'o 'he
a8areness of 'he clien' 8i'h regard 'o 'he ma'erials 'ha' 8ere no' 'here in 'he consciousness< you are
empa'hic in your responses. -n shor'< picking up 'he underlying feelings and communica'ing 'hem
'o 'he clien' 'o hisHher sa'isfac'ion 8ill mean in general ad+anced empa'hy. Ad+anced empa'hy is
an ad+anced skill compared 'o 'he 0asic empa'hy. As counselling proceeds< 'he counsellor 8ill 0e
called upon 'o make use of ad+anced empa'hy a' 'he appropria'e 'ime in an appropria'e 8ay.
11*
;. CONCRETENESS ;. CONCRETENESS
8;; 8;;
S'eci(ic) direc# nd c$&'le#e eC'ressi$n $( #!e eC'eriences) (eelings) nd "e!@i$ur "* "$#! S'eci(ic) direc# nd c$&'le#e eC'ressi$n $( #!e eC'eriences) (eelings) nd "e!@i$ur "* "$#!
#!e c$unsell$r nd c$unsellee #!e c$unsell$r nd c$unsellee. .
Jou canno' deal 8i'h generali'iesK you need par'iculars. The pro0lem has 'o 0e concre'e< 'he Jou canno' deal 8i'h generali'iesK you need par'iculars. The pro0lem has 'o 0e concre'e< 'he
goal should 0e concre'e and 'he means 'o 'he goal should 0e concre'e. Concre'eness gi+es clari'y 'o goal should 0e concre'e and 'he means 'o 'he goal should 0e concre'e. Concre'eness gi+es clari'y 'o
oneMs 'hinking and 'hus mo+es 'he process 'o8ards 'he goal in a focused and unders'anda0le 8ay. oneMs 'hinking and 'hus mo+es 'he process 'o8ards 'he goal in a focused and unders'anda0le 8ay.
Clien's may no' al8ays 0e concre'e and specific. They 8hile 'alking a0ou' 'heir pro0lem may add a lo' Clien's may no' al8ays 0e concre'e and specific. They 8hile 'alking a0ou' 'heir pro0lem may add a lo'
of informa'ion and lea+e ou' 'he essen'ial ones. -' is a' 'hose 'imes< concre'eness 8ill 0e of grea' use 'o of informa'ion and lea+e ou' 'he essen'ial ones. -' is a' 'hose 'imes< concre'eness 8ill 0e of grea' use 'o
'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. Concre'eness is specifics< par'iculars and 'hey are in 'he con'e/' of 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. Concre'eness is specifics< par'iculars and 'hey are in 'he con'e/' of
'he communica'ion 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. -' refers 'o 'he discussion of 'he 'he communica'ion 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee. -' refers 'o 'he discussion of 'he
pro0lems of 'he counsellee< hisHher oppor'uni'ies 'ha' are no' used and hisHher misused po'en'ials< and in pro0lems of 'he counsellee< hisHher oppor'uni'ies 'ha' are no' used and hisHher misused po'en'ials< and in
'erms of specific e/periences< feelings and 0eha+iour. ?hen 'ransla'ed in'o 0eha+iour on 'he par' of 'he 'erms of specific e/periences< feelings and 0eha+iour. ?hen 'ransla'ed in'o 0eha+iour on 'he par' of 'he
counsellor< concre'eness 8ill 'ake 'he follo8ing forms: counsellor< concre'eness 8ill 'ake 'he follo8ing forms:
8+ ONE AT A TIME 8+ ONE AT A TIME
A' 'imes 'he clien's 0ring in a num0er of pro0lems 'oge'her. -' is no' possi0le for you 'o deal A' 'imes 'he clien's 0ring in a num0er of pro0lems 'oge'her. -' is no' possi0le for you 'o deal
8i'h all of 'hem a' 'he same 'ime. Therefore< ask 'he clien' 'o choose any one of 'hem for considera'ion. 8i'h all of 'hem a' 'he same 'ime. Therefore< ask 'he clien' 'o choose any one of 'hem for considera'ion.
This is one 8ay of 0eing concre'e. This is one 8ay of 0eing concre'e.
Counsellee: Counsellee: ?ha' is 'he use of praying 'o 9odL ?he'her you pray or donM' pray< 'hings happen ?ha' is 'he use of praying 'o 9odL ?he'her you pray or donM' pray< 'hings happen
8orse. !o8adays - am losing my religious fai'h. Added 'o 'ha'< my 'eenage 0oy has 8orse. !o8adays - am losing my religious fai'h. Added 'o 'ha'< my 'eenage 0oy has
0een found 'aking drugs and comes home la'e a' nigh'. - am a' a loss 'o deal 8i'h him. 0een found 'aking drugs and comes home la'e a' nigh'. - am a' a loss 'o deal 8i'h him.
As 'hough 'ha' is no' enough my younges' daugh'er me' 8i'h an acciden' and - do no' As 'hough 'ha' is no' enough my younges' daugh'er me' 8i'h an acciden' and - do no'
kno8 8here 'o go for money. kno8 8here 'o go for money.
Counsellor: Counsellor: Jou feel o+er8helmed 0y a num0er of crisis coming one af'er 'he o'her and Jou feel o+er8helmed 0y a num0er of crisis coming one af'er 'he o'her and
you are a' a loss no' kno8ing 8ha' 'o do. Jou seem 'o 0e ha+ing fai'h crisis< you are a' a loss no' kno8ing 8ha' 'o do. Jou seem 'o 0e ha+ing fai'h crisis<
difficul'y in dealing 8i'h a drug dependen' son and 'he financial crisis 'o mee' difficul'y in dealing 8i'h a drug dependen' son and 'he financial crisis 'o mee'
'he e/penses of you daugh'er. @f 'hese 'hree 8hich one 8ould you like 'o 'he e/penses of you daugh'er. @f 'hese 'hree 8hich one 8ould you like 'o
deal 8i'h firs'L deal 8i'h firs'L
.+ DIRECT QUESTIONS .+ DIRECT QUESTIONS
?hene+er you are asking ques'ions of C8hoB C8henB C8ha'B M8hichM C8hereM and Mho8M 'o ge' ?hene+er you are asking ques'ions of C8hoB C8henB C8ha'B M8hichM C8hereM and Mho8M 'o ge'
specific informa'ion< you are concre'e in your communica'ion. specific informa'ion< you are concre'e in your communica'ion.
Counsellee: Counsellee: ?hen - me' my e/-0oy-friend - Eus' ignored him purposely and 'ha' hur' me. ?hen - me' my e/-0oy-friend - Eus' ignored him purposely and 'ha' hur' me.
Counsellor: Counsellor: ?hen did you mee' your e/-0oy-friendL ?hen did you mee' your e/-0oy-friendL
1+ RECENT E6ENT 1+ RECENT E6ENT
?hen pro0lems are narra'ed< 'hey migh' remain +ague 0u' 8hen you ask 'he clien' 'o illus'ra'e ?hen pro0lems are narra'ed< 'hey migh' remain +ague 0u' 8hen you ask 'he clien' 'o illus'ra'e
'he pro0lem 8i'h a recen' occurrence of 'he pro0lem you are making 'he clien' concre'e in hisHher 'he pro0lem 8i'h a recen' occurrence of 'he pro0lem you are making 'he clien' concre'e in hisHher
e/pression. e/pression.
11,
Counsellee: Counsellee: - 'rem0le all o+er 8hen - ha+e 'o gi+e a speech in pu0lic. -n spi'e of my - 'rem0le all o+er 8hen - ha+e 'o gi+e a speech in pu0lic. -n spi'e of my
'rying 'o clam myself do8n - 0ecome more ner+ous. 'rying 'o clam myself do8n - 0ecome more ner+ous.
Counsellor: Counsellor: Could you gi+e me a recen' ins'ance 8hen you 8ere ner+ous 0efore gi+ing a speech in Could you gi+e me a recen' ins'ance 8hen you 8ere ner+ous 0efore gi+ing a speech in
pu0licL pu0licL
/+ FIF STATEMENT /+ FIF STATEMENT
Clien's may no' 'ake self-responsi0ili'y for 'heir feelings and 0eha+iours and 'hus dis'ance Clien's may no' 'ake self-responsi0ili'y for 'heir feelings and 0eha+iours and 'hus dis'ance
'hemsel+es 0y using 8ords like M8eM MpeopleM MyouM and 'he like. )or e/ample< a clien' says: M!o one 8ill 'hemsel+es 0y using 8ords like M8eM MpeopleM MyouM and 'he like. )or e/ample< a clien' says: M!o one 8ill
like 'o 0e cri'iciAed in fron' of hisHher su0ordina'es<M ins'ead of saying M- donM' like 'o 0e cri'iciAed in fron' like 'o 0e cri'iciAed in fron' of hisHher su0ordina'es<M ins'ead of saying M- donM' like 'o 0e cri'iciAed in fron'
of my su0ordina'es.M $uch si'ua'ion can 0e handled 0y 'he counsellor 0y making a MyouM s'a'emen' like: of my su0ordina'es.M $uch si'ua'ion can 0e handled 0y 'he counsellor 0y making a MyouM s'a'emen' like:
Jou donM' like 'o 0e cri'iciAed in fron' of your su0ordina'esM and 'his in all pro0a0ili'y 8ill impel 'he Jou donM' like 'o 0e cri'iciAed in fron' of your su0ordina'esM and 'his in all pro0a0ili'y 8ill impel 'he
clien' 'o use M-M s'a'emen'. 4u' in spi'e of your using MyouM s'a'emen' if 'he clien' con'inues 'o a+oid M-M clien' 'o use M-M s'a'emen'. 4u' in spi'e of your using MyouM s'a'emen' if 'he clien' con'inues 'o a+oid M-M
s'a'emen' you could 0ring 'o hisHher no'ice 'he fac' 'ha' heHshe is no' making M-M s'a'emen'. Jou could s'a'emen' you could 0ring 'o hisHher no'ice 'he fac' 'ha' heHshe is no' making M-M s'a'emen'. Jou could
0ring 'o hisHher no'ice 'his lapse only 8hen you are qui'e sure 'ha' your poin'ing ou' 'his lapse 8ill no' 0ring 'o hisHher no'ice 'his lapse only 8hen you are qui'e sure 'ha' your poin'ing ou' 'his lapse 8ill no'
make himHher more ner+ous a0ou' 'he 8ay heHshe e/presses. make himHher more ner+ous a0ou' 'he 8ay heHshe e/presses.
;+ SPECIFIC GOALS ;+ SPECIFIC GOALS
Counselling may end up 0eing a failure for 8an' of specific goals. The clien' may ha+e good Counselling may end up 0eing a failure for 8an' of specific goals. The clien' may ha+e good
in'en'ion< 0u' since 'he goal 8as +ague heHshe could no' apply himHherself 'o 'he goal. Therefore< 8hile in'en'ion< 0u' since 'he goal 8as +ague heHshe could no' apply himHherself 'o 'he goal. Therefore< 8hile
se''ing a goal< make sure 'ha' 'he clien' spells i' ou' in concre'e 'erms. se''ing a goal< make sure 'ha' 'he clien' spells i' ou' in concre'e 'erms.
Counsellee: Counsellee: - 8an' 'o impro+e in my s'udies in spi'e of my pre+ious se'0acks. - 8an' 'o impro+e in my s'udies in spi'e of my pre+ious se'0acks.
Counsellor: Counsellor: ?ha' do you mean 0y Mimpro+ing in your s'udiesL ?ha' do you mean 0y Mimpro+ing in your s'udiesL
Counsellee: Counsellee: ?ell< - shall spend some 'ime in s'udy 0o'h a' nigh' and early in 'he morning ?ell< - shall spend some 'ime in s'udy 0o'h a' nigh' and early in 'he morning
daily. daily.
7ere 'he goal of Mimpro+ing oneMs s'udiesM is specified 0y a dura'ion of s'udy 'he clien' 8ill 0e 7ere 'he goal of Mimpro+ing oneMs s'udiesM is specified 0y a dura'ion of s'udy 'he clien' 8ill 0e
pu''ing in. pu''ing in.
-+ SPECIFIC MEANS -+ SPECIFIC MEANS
$pecific goals alone 8ill no' 0ring in success. The goal may ne+er 0e realiAed 0ecause 'he $pecific goals alone 8ill no' 0ring in success. The goal may ne+er 0e realiAed 0ecause 'he
means 'o 'he goals 8ere no' 'hough' ou' in concre'e 'erms. "e' us 'ake 'he e/ample of 'he counsellee means 'o 'he goals 8ere no' 'hough' ou' in concre'e 'erms. "e' us 'ake 'he e/ample of 'he counsellee
8ho 8an'ed 'o impro+e hisHher s'udies 0y applying himHherself 'o s'udy e+ery nigh' and morning. 7ere 8ho 8an'ed 'o impro+e hisHher s'udies 0y applying himHherself 'o s'udy e+ery nigh' and morning. 7ere
'he means are no' made concre'e. 'he means are no' made concre'e.
Counsellor: Counsellor: 7o8 many hours 8ill you spend a' nigh' and early in 'he morning for s'udiesL 7o8 many hours 8ill you spend a' nigh' and early in 'he morning for s'udiesL
Counsellee: Counsellee: - could spend '8o hours each 'ime. - could spend '8o hours each 'ime.
Counsellor: Counsellor: ?ill you 'ell me from 8hen 'o 8hen you are going 'o s'udyL ?ill you 'ell me from 8hen 'o 8hen you are going 'o s'udyL
Counsellee: Counsellee: Perhaps a' nigh' from 3 'o 11 p.m. and in 'he morning form . 'o 7 a.m. Perhaps a' nigh' from 3 'o 11 p.m. and in 'he morning form . 'o 7 a.m.
11.
7ere 'he means 'o 'he goal are made concre'e< and 'he clien' is likely 'o keep up hisHher 7ere 'he means 'o 'he goal are made concre'e< and 'he clien' is likely 'o keep up hisHher
programme 'o impro+e hisHher s'udies. programme 'o impro+e hisHher s'udies.
<+ PRESENT FEELINGD <+ PRESENT FEELINGD
-n counselling< 'he presen' momen' is of grea' +alue. The feeling curren'ly e/perienced 0y 'he -n counselling< 'he presen' momen' is of grea' +alue. The feeling curren'ly e/perienced 0y 'he
counsellee is 'he concre'isa'ion of 'he pro0lem heHshe is e/periencing. Therefore e+ery no8 and 'hen counsellee is 'he concre'isa'ion of 'he pro0lem heHshe is e/periencing. Therefore e+ery no8 and 'hen
asking for 'he presen' feeling heHshe is e/periencing is 8or'h 'he 'rou0le 'o make 'he clien' concre'e in asking for 'he presen' feeling heHshe is e/periencing is 8or'h 'he 'rou0le 'o make 'he clien' concre'e in
hisHher communica'ion. hisHher communica'ion.
Counsellor: Counsellor: And no8 'ha' you ha+e 8orked ou' your concern< 8ha' are you feeling righ' And no8 'ha' you ha+e 8orked ou' your concern< 8ha' are you feeling righ'
no8L no8L
Counsellee: Counsellee: - feel really relie+ed of my an/ie'y. - feel really relie+ed of my an/ie'y.
-. CHALLENGING %CARING CONFRONTATION OR FEED5ACK+
8;-
Challenging is a res'$nsi"le nd delic#e un&sBing $( #!e discre'ncies) dis#$r#i$ns)
g&es) nd eCcuses #!e clien# is using 'o e+ade self-unders'anding and cons'ruc'i+e 0eha+ioural
change. The counsellor o0ser+es some'hing phoney and 0rings i' 'o 'he a8areness of 'he clien' in a
caring manner. 7igh le+el func'ioning counsellors usually use challenging< 0u' of course appropria'ely
and 8i'h care. "o8 le+el func'ioning counsellors may no' use challenging sufficien'ly and if 'hey are
o0liged 'o use i'< 'hey do i' 0ru'ally< 'earing 'he clien' 'o pieces. There 8as a 'ime in 'he his'ory of
psychology around 1316Ms 8hen counsellors under 'he pre'e/' of 0eing hones' 8ere a''acking in
challenging 'he clien's 'o 'he e/'en' of people 0eing afraid of counselling or psycho'herapy. 4u' no8
'he 'imes ha+e changed especially 8i'h 'he use of self psychology< and counsellors 'ake 0enign a''i'udes
'o8ards challenging. Challenging is no' your reac'ion 'o 'he func'ioning of a clien'< 0u' a caring ac' of
sharing your percep'ion of 'he clien' and hisHher func'ioning. Challenging is a ma'ure from of caring.
8+ CHALLENGING DISCREPANCIES 5ET9EEN
%8+ 9HAT HELSHE SA:S E DOES
The clien' says 'ha' 8omen are equal 'o men in e+ery respec' and he respec's 8omen for 'heir
digni'y< 0u' a' home he 'rea's his 8ife like a sla+e.
%.+ HISLHER 6IE9 OF HIMLHERSELF E OTHERSF 6IE9 OF HIMLHER
@nce - 8as a par'icipan' of a group 'herapy. A pillo8 8as passed on< and each of us holding 'he
pillo8 did 'o 'he pillo8 8ha' 8e 'hough' 8as done 'o us 8hen 8e 8ere 0orn< and spoke 'he 'hings 'ha'
8ere supposed 'o ha+e 0een spoken 'o us. ?hen i' came 'o one of my companions< he Eus' pulled 'he
pillo8 8i'h his lef' hand and kep' i' on his lap and pressed i' 8i'h 0o'h 'he hands 8i'hou' saying a 8ord
8i'h his face looking grim. ?hen 'he 'herapis' asked him 8ha' he mean' 0y his 0eha+iour< he coolly
said M- am caring<M 'o 8hich 'he 8hole group shou'ed in a chorus MTha' 8as no' caring 0u' smo'hering 'he
child.M
%1+ 9HAT HELSHE IS E 9HAT HELSHE 9ANTS TO 5E
111
A man 8as coming 'o me for counselling o+er a period of 'ime. 7e 8as 'he fa'her of 'hree
young 0oys< all of 'hem in 'heir 'eens. 7is rela'ionship 8i'h his sons 8as no' going 8ell< and he
cons'an'ly spoke of 'ha'. &+ery 'ime he spoke 'o me he s'ou'ly said 'ha' he 8an's 'o impro+e his
rela'ionship 8i'h his children and 0e a good fa'her< 0u' he ne+er did i'< a' leas' as long as he 8as coming
'o me. There is a +as' discrepancy 0e'8een 8ha' he 8as and 8ha' he 8an'ed 'o 0e.
%/+ 6ER5AL E NON6ER5AL EGPRESSIONS
@nce - 8en' 'o a''end a funeral and 'o console 'he lady 8hose 0ro'her died. As - 8en' o+er
'here< 'he lady e/'ended a 8arm 8elcome< and 8i'h a 0eau'iful smile on her face< spoke ho8 sad she
8as and ho8 much she missed her dear 0ro'her. ?ha' she 8as saying 0y her +er0al language 8as
con'radic'ed 0y her 0ody-language.
%;+ PAST AND PRESENT UTTERANCES
@f'en in group mee'ings - ha+e o0ser+ed people con'radic'ing 'heir o8n pre+ious s'a'emen's< no'
0ecause of ne8 con+ic'ion 'ha' came a0ou' af'er a discussion< 0u' 0ecause of an in'ernal discrepancy in
'heir li+es.
.+ CHALLENGING DISTORTIONS
Clien's percei+e 'he o0Eec'i+e reali'y in 'heir o8n su0Eec'i+e 8ay. Take for e/ample proEec'ions
8hich are in reali'y dis'or'ions of o0Eec'i+i'y. A ra'her poor man complained 'o me a0ou' his 0ro'her
8ho is 8ell off< 'elling 'ha' his 0ro'her 8as Eealous of him and 'ha' is 8hy he 8ould ha+e conEured him.
-n fac' his 0ro'her 8ould no' ha+e e+en 'hough' of harming him< and ac'ually he 8as e+en financially
helping him. -' 8as a fac' 'ha' 'his poor man 8as Eealous of his 0ro'herMs prosperi'y< and no' 'he o'her
8ay a0ou'. 4u' his percep'ion 'ha' his 0ro'her 8as Eealous of him 8as a dis'or'ion.
1+ CHALLENGING GAMES
?hen 8e are una0le 'o cope 8i'h cer'ain s'ressful si'ua'ions< 8e 'ake 'o games as an easy 8ay of
manipula'ing 'he si'ua'ion and sa+ing our face. -n Transac'ional Analysis< Dr. &ric 4erne e/plains a
num0er of games people play P in 'hree main roles as 'he persecu'or< 'he +ic'im and 'he rescuer.
Clien's play games ou'side 'he counselling session and con'inue 'o do 'he same 8i'h counsellors in 'he
counselling sessions 'oo. Fnless 'hey ha+e 8orked ou' 'heir game pa''ern< 'hey 8ill con'inue 'o play
games in mos' of 'he si'ua'ions. Their game pa''ern in 'he counselling session is a replica of 8ha' 'hey
8ould 0e ou'side 'he counselling session 'oo. Jour in'erpersonal s'yle in any gi+en group is a fair
specimen of 8ha' you 8ould 0e in any o'her group.
A young girl goes a0ou' en'icing young men 0y her +er0al and non+er0al 0eha+iour< and 8hen
'he men 'ake her seriously and make ad+ances 'o her< she 8ill 'urn sour and a''ack 'hem +ehemen'ly<
a0using 'hem orally for 'heir indecen' 0eha+iour. $he approached a counsellor and played 'he same
game 8i'h him. This 8as 'he 'ime 'he counsellor poin'ed ou' 'o her< her psychological game pa''ern.
/+ CHALLENGING EGCUSES
117
Clien's 8an' 'o appear honoura0le in 'heir o8n eyes. ?hen 'he fac's do no' suppor' 'heir self-
honour 'hey find some e/cuses 'o pro'ec' 'heir honour. People 8ho do no' 'ake responsi0ili'y for 'heir
life and 'he fu'ure< people 8ho ra'ionaliAe 'heir e+ery misdeed< and people 8ho indefini'ely pos'pone
8ha' 'hey are supposed 'o do a' a gi+en 'ime< are all people 8ho lead an unheal'hy life under 'he co+er
of e/cuses. This is one 8ay of remaining in 'he same pi'< and complaining 'ha' 'heir life is a misery.
Asking M?ha' s'eps ha+e you 'aken 'o al'er your si'ua'ionLB 8ill seriously challenge 'hem.
;+ CHALLENGING IRRATIONAL INNER RULE
Clien's adop' cer'ain s'andards of Eudging and e+alua'ing 'heir o8n 0eha+iour and 'hose of
o'hers. They may 0e dysfunc'ional in 'he sense 'hey produce unheal'hy emo'ional reac'ions in 'hem.
Al0er' &llis has lis'ed 'en irra'ional 0eliefs 'ha' are self-defea'ing< and he says 'ha' people cling 'o 'hose
0eliefs and suffer from 'hem. They< for e/ample< 0elie+e 'ha' one should 0y all means 0e lo+ed 0y
e+ery0odyK one should 0e compe'en' in e+ery'hingK one should 0e free from 'rou0les< one should ha+e
oneMs o8n 8ay a' all 'imes< one should 0e in dangerK one should 0e a +ic'imK one should a+oid difficul'
si'ua'ionsK one should remain passi+eK one should 8an' 'o hur' o'hers 8ho do harm 'o oneK and one is
0eing condi'ioned 0y 'he pas'. These 0eliefs come in 'heir 8ay of ra'ional and heal'hy li+ing. Take for
e/ample one of 'he irra'ional 0eliefs: - should 0e lo+ed and apprecia'ed 0y e+ery0ody. 7umanly
speaking< one can ne+er dream of such a grea' success a' all 'imes. This is 'he sures' 8ay 'o 0e unhappy.
There is a self-defea'ing in'ernal dialogue going on in 'he clien'< and 8hen 'he counsellor percei+es such
a 0elief e/pressed e/'ernally< heHshe could challenge i'.
-+ KINDS OF CHALLENGING
;1> Si&'le Didc#ic %In#er're#i@e+ C!llenging: -' is making 'he clien's realiAe ho8 'hey s'ar'
and main'ain 'heir pro0lems< going along 8i'h 'he clien's in 'heir in'ernal frames of reference< and 'hus
gen'ly dra8ing 'heir a''en'ion 'o 'he 'hings 'ha' go 8rong.
;#> H$#7Se# C!llenging: -' is direc'ly addressing< no' allo8ing 'he clien's 'o a+oid 'he
si'ua'ion or offer e/cuses.
<+ GUIDELINES FOR CHALLENGING
As a principle< i' is good 'o remem0er '8o main aspec's in challenging o'hers. All 'he 'ips 'ha'
8ill 0e deal' 8i'h here refer 'o one of 'hese '8o principles. )irs' and foremos'< see 'he s'reng'h of your
rela'ionship 8i'h 'he clien'< and secondly< 'he clien'Ms le+el of +ulnera0ili'y. Jour rela'ionship s'reng'h
and 'he clien'Ms +ulnera0ili'y are 'he '8o main guiding norms.
%8+ 5ASED ON RELATIONSHIP
Make sure 'ha' you ha+e a 8orking rela'ionship 8i'h 'he clien'K o'her8ise your challenging is
merely 'hrea'ening.
%.+ OUT OF LO6E
@ne 8ho has no lo+e for 'he o'her has no righ' 'o challenge 'he o'her. Jou challenge 'he o'her
0ecause deep do8n you lo+e 'he person and hisHher 8ell-0eing. -' is no' 'o 'ake re+enge 'ha' you
challenge.
112
%1+ 9ITH CARE
Care is a delica'e 8ay of handling a 'hing< and in 'his case a person 8ho is +ulnera0le. $ince
normally clien's e/pec' unders'anding< no' challenging< 'hey 8ill 0e pu' ou' if challenges are gi+en in
any 8ay. -' is 8i'h a sense of grea' delicacy 'ha' i' should 0e deli+ered.
%/+ DEPENDING ON CLIENTFS STATE
Make a Eudgemen' a0ou' 'he +ulnera0ili'y of 'he clien' and 'o 8ha' le+el 'he person is a0le 'o
'ake 'he challenge. Challenging is 'o do good 'o 'he clien' and if you percei+e 'ha' your challenging is
going 'o harm 'he clien' more 'han doing good< 0e''er refrain from challenging. ?hen 'he clien's are
sick< in crisis< and emo'ionally dis'ur0ed 'hey need more suppor' 'han challenging. Challenging should
no' harm 'he clien's 0u' i' is all righ' if i' makes 'hem uncomfor'a0le.
%;+ 5UILD ON SUCCESS
Do no' dump your challenges all of a sudden. 9i+e 'hem in smaller doses and once 'hey are
familiar and ha+e mas'ered a cer'ain skill in self-managing< 'hen place a higher demand 0y ano'her
challenge. Therefore< spacing ou' your challenges according 'o 'he success of 'he e/perience is
appropria'e.
%-+ 5E TENTATI6E
Challenges are 'o 0e presen'ed no' as a0solu'e in'erpre'a'ions 0u' ra'her as hunches and guesses
8hich can 0e discussed< affirmed or denied 0y 'he clien'. There should 0e enough room for 'he clien' 'o
hold a discussion and see 'he rela'i+e 8or'h8hileness of 'he challenges.
%<+ O9N :OUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
Challenges are your frame of reference and no' 'ha' of 'he clien'. 7ence your challenges are
e/'ernal frame of reference 'o 'he clien'. (eeping 'his in mind make M-M s'a'emen' o8ning your 'hough's
and feelings a0ou' 'he clien'.
%4+ PRESENT IT NEUTRALL:
Jou need no' 'ake sides 8i'h regard 'o challenges. -f you find '8o +ie8s< for e/ample hisHher
+ie8 a0ou' himHherself and o'hersM +ie8 a0ou' himHher< you Eus' presen' 0o'h 'he +ie8s 'elling perhaps:
Jou are saying 'ha' you are al8ays 'ru'hful 8hereas your daugh'er is poin'ing ou' 'ha' in fac' you had
0een 'elling no' 'he 'ru'h a' leas' in 'hree ins'ances. 7o8 8ill you unders'and 'hisL
%2+ REST THE RESPONSI5ILIT: ON CLIENT
Jou need no' insis' 'ha' your challenges are 'o 0e accep'ed 0y 'he clien'. Jour du'y 8as only 'o
0ring 'o 'he a8areness of 'he clien' and no' forcing himHher 'o accep' 'hem. This 8ill make 'he
challenges non-'hrea'ening< and 'he clien's 8ill 8elcome 'hem.
113
%80+ DO NOT O6ERDO IT
Challenging should 0e propor'iona'e< nei'her more nor less. Any'hing o+erdone defea's 'he +ery
purpose of 'he ac'i+i'y under'aken 8i'h good8ill. &+en 8ell-in'en'ioned challenges o+erdone 8ill 0e
coun'erproduc'i+e.
%88+ 5E OPEN TO CHALLENGE :OURSELF
-f you yourself are defensi+e and ra'ionaliAe e+ery mis'ake of yours< ho8 are you going 'o help
'he clien' 'o 0e non-defensi+e 0y your challengingL - ha+e o0ser+ed some people holding superior pos's
8ho ra'ionaliAe 8ha'e+er 'hey do and defend i' 8hereas 'he same is considered a faul' in 'heir
su0ordina'es. $uch persons should 0e 'he las' ones 'o challenge o'hers.
%8.+ 5E SPECIFIC
-' is no' 'he ques'ion of +ague reali'ies 'o 0e challenged< 0u' 8ha' has 0een found concre'ely<
e/pressed in clear 'erms. 4eing specific 8ill mean 0eing concre'e. -ns'ead of 'elling a person 'ha'
heHshe is no' du'iful< poin' ou' 'he 'imes heHshe 8as negligen' 8i'h hisHher du'ies.
%81+ CHALLENGE STRENGTH RATHER THAN 9EAKNESS
!o' 'ha' one should no' challenge defici's a' all 0u' your main 'hrus' should 0e 'o ena0le 'he
clien' 'o lead a 0e''er successful life for 8hich challenging 'heir s'reng'h 8ill 0e of grea'er use. Too
much concen'ra'ion on defici's depresses 'he clien' and e+en'ually heHshe migh' gi+e up. Challenging
'he s'reng'h 8ill in reali'y mean 'ha' you poin' ou' 'o 'he clien' 'he resources heHshe has 0u' someho8
failed 'o use 'hem. $uperiors in posi'ion of correc'ing 'heir su0ordina'es< 8ill do 8ell 'o find ou' ho8
'he su0ordina'es can 0e encouraged 'o do 0e''er ra'her 'han poin'ing ou' all 'he defici's 'hey ha+e.
%8/+ ENCOURAGE SELF7CHALLENGE
Jour challenging 'he clien's should 0e ul'ima'ely 'o help 'hem carry on 'his challenging a''i'ude
all 'hrough 'heir li+es for 'heir o8n 0e''ermen'. As you yourself are commi''ed 'o your o8n self-
challenging< crea'e in 'he clien' 'he spiri' of self-challenging. )inally 8ha' is more useful is 'he clien'Ms
self-challenging. "e' 'here 0e a self-direc'ion from 8i'hin ra'her 'han from ou'side. $elf-challenge is a
self-direc'ion from 8i'hin 'he clien'.
%8;+ PRESENT CHALLENGES AS FEED5ACKS
)inally see 'ha' you do presen' 'he challenges as a feed0ack on 'he o0ser+a'ion you ha+e made
on hisHher 0eha+iour in 'he here-and-no8. Deli+er i' in descrip'i+e forms as an a''emp' 'o e/plore
al'erna'i+es 0asing on 'he +alue i' 8ill ha+e for himHher. Make sure hisHher a0ili'y 'o 'ake i' and use for
hisHher 0e''ermen'. Presen' i' a' 'he appropria'e 'ime in graded doses.
Any accusa'ion is na'urally denied a' 'he +ery ou'se' as a na'ural reac'ion unless one deli0era'ely
decides 'o ac' 'he o'her 8ay a0ou'. &+en 8hen 8e are 0ecoming a8are of a serious sickness< 8e deny i'
for some 'ime< and 'ha' is 8hy 'rea'men' is no' gi+en on 'ime and 'he condi'ion 8orsens. A lady had a
'umour in one of her 0reas's. $he kne8 a0ou' i' and said 'o herself 'ha' 'he 'umour 8as a 0enign one.
176
$he kep' denying her illness un'il i' 8as 'oo la'e 'o in'er+ene medically. Thus denial is a na'ural reac'ion
'o any'hing nega'i+e in us. Challenging is a risk you 'ake upon yourself in your in'erpersonal
rela'ionship. Challenging 'he clien's is one 'hing< and challenging 'he people 8ho li+e 8i'h you is
ano'her 'hing. People are usually anchored 'o 'he nega'i+e feelings 'hey e/perience 8hile 0eing
challenged and associa'e i' 8i'h you< and 'hus your +ery sigh' migh' e+oke 'he same nega'i+e feeling
'hey ha+e anchored. ?e come across people 8ho migh' ha+e 0een challenged many years 0ack 0u'
har0our a grudge e+en no8 agains' 'he one 8ho challenged 'hem. -' is also good for 'he counsellor 'o
0e in 'he kno8 of 'he shado8 side of challenging 0u' a' 'he same 'ime high-le+el func'ioning as a
counsellor demands challenging< and challenging can produce 'he ma/imum change if done
appropria'ely.
<. SELF7DISCLOSURE
8;<

4y self-disclosure 8e mean #!e in#en#i$nl) use(ul nd ''r$'ri#e s!ring "* #!e
c$unsell$r $( !isL!er eC'eriences "ering $n #!e 'r$"le& $( #!e clien#. ?e are all 8ounded healers.
?e oursel+es ha+e 0een 8ounded and 8e kno8 8ha' i' is 'o 0e 8ounded and so 8e share in 'he human
s'ruggle 8i'h difficul'ies and 8e manifes' our solidari'y 8i'h 'he suffering humani'y. Counsellors are
no' superhuman persons and 'hey are +ery +ulnera0le. A' 'imes 'hey are more +ulnera0le 'han 'he
ordinary people Eus' 0ecause firs' of all 'hey are 0y na'ure people of empa'hy 'o8ards 'hemsel+es and
o'hers and secondly 'hey deal 8i'h 'he shado8 sides of persons mos' of 'he 'ime. They are also mos' of
'he 'ime 0urn-ou'. They are Eus' like any of 'he counsellees 0u' 'hey ha+e commi''ed 'hemsel+es 'o self-
gro8'h and 'hus ha+e kno8n 'he pain of gro8'h in'ernally and in'erpersonally and 'hus 'hey could
encourage o'hers 'o come 'o grips 8i'h 'heir pro0lems. ?hen 'he counsellor shares his o8n e/perience
connec'ed 8i'h 'he pro0lem of 'he clien' 'ha' is presen'ed< 'he counsellee feels relie+ed of 'he funny
feeling of 0eing a freak.
A0ou' 'he usefulness of self-disclosure counsellors are di+ided. $ome fa+our i' 8hile o'hers do
no'. -n any case< i' can really 0e useful 8hen done appropria'ely. There are 'imes 8hen self-disclosure
8ould ha+e sa+ed many li+es. A' i's 8ors'< i' may no' kill 'he clien's< 0u' only 0ecome a nuisance.
Therefore< i' is 8or'h using i' as - said< appropria'ely.
8+ KINDS OF SELF7DISCLOSURE
There are '8o 'ypes of self-disclosure: one is non+er0al 8hich is implici' and indirec'< for< 'he
8hole person of 'he counsellor speaks loudly 'o 'he counsellee e+er since 'he firs' momen' of 'heir
mee'ingK and 'he second is 'he e/plici'< and direc' +er0al self-disclosure. The second one is in'en'ional
8hereas 'he firs' is no' in'en'ional. )or 'he 0ody disclosure< you do no' ha+e 'o in'end 'o re+eal yourself
8hereas for 'he +er0al disclosure you need 'o make up your mind 'o do so. ?ha' you share should 0e
connec'ed 'o 8ha' 'he clien' is speaking a0ou'< and appropria'e 'o 'he con'e/' and 'he person P 'he
counsellee.
Counsellee: ;:oining 'he Alcoholics Anonymous> 7o8e+er hard - may 'ry - am no' a0le 'o
keep a check on my drinking ha0i'. A' nigh' - resol+e no' 'o 'ouch liquor in
'he morning< 0u' early in 'he morning as 'hough - am compelled 0y some e/'ernal
force< - find myself drinking.
Counsellor: ;4elonging 'o 'he Alcoholics Anonymous> - remem0er my o8n good old
days 8hen - s'ruggled like you< making resolu'ions prac'ically e+eryday and
0reaking 'hem in an hourMs 'ime. And finally af'er a long s'ruggle - could ge'
myself ou' of i's clu'ches.
171
.+ SELF7DISCLOSURE IS A CHALLENGE
-' is a challenge for '8o reasons. )irs' of all self-disclosure is a form of in'imacy. ?e share
a0ou' oursel+es only 8i'h 'he people 8hom 8e kno8 +ery 8ell< 8i'h 8hom 8e are ra'her in'ima'e. -' is
a kind of +er0al in'imacy for 8hich 'he clien's may no' 0e prepared or some people are na'urally a+erse
'o any closeness 0e i' 0odily or +er0al. The people 8ho are no' comfor'a0le 8i'h in'imacy 8ill find i'
difficul' 'o accep' self-disclosure. $econdly i' is a challenge for 'he simple reason 'ha' 'he counsellee is
in+i'ed 'o follo8 'he e/ample of 'he counsellor in an indirec' 8ay. $haring is for 'he sake of 'he clien'
so 'ha' heHshe could change like 'he counsellor and 'he in+i'a'ion 'o change is a challenge.
1+ AD6ANTAGES OF SELF7DISCLOSURE
%8+ FREEDOM FROM FEAR
Many 'imes 'he counsellors 8hom 'he clien's mee' are s'rangers. Counselling is an in'ima'e
in'erac'ion in 8hich 'he clien' discloses hisHher in'ima'e concerns and 'herefore heHshe 8ill ha+e fear of
opening up 'o a s'ranger. ?hen 'he counsellor s'ar's speaking a0ou' himHherself and hisHher pro0lem 'he
counsellor 0ecomes personal 'o 'he clien' and 'he fear of 0eing open 'o a s'ranger su0sides.
During 'he $adhana sessions ;group 'herapy> a' "ona+ala< Pune 8e 8ere '8en'y-'8o
par'icipan's. -' 8as 'he firs' 8eek in 8hich communi'y 0uilding sessions 8ere going on. -n one of 'he
sessions 'he facili'a'or 8as 'alking on adul' de+elopmen'. 7e said 'ha' 8e need 'o 'ake 0ack our
proEec'ions 'o 0e in'egra'ed and 'hen he asked us 'o Eo' do8n in our no'e0ooks 'he proEec'ions each one
of us had. ?e did 8ri'e 'hem in our no'e0ooks 0u' 8ere hesi'an' 'o share 'hem 8i'h o'hers since 8e
8ere rela'i+ely s'rangers 'o one ano'her in 'he firs' 8eek of $adhana. Then 'he facili'a'or himself s'ar'ed
'o share his o8n proEec'ions af'er 8hich each one of us 8i'hou' any hesi'a'ion s'ar'ed 'o share ours< so
much so 'ha' session had 'o 0e e/'ended so 'ha' each one of us could share. 4u' for 'he self-disclosure
of 'he facili'a'or< perhaps 'ha' sharing 8e did as a group 8ould no' ha+e 0een 'ha' leng'hy.
%.+ APPEARING HUMAN
Af'er all< 'he counsellor is no' a sain' 8ho is holier 'han 'he counsellee. -' is +ery consoling for
'he clien' 'o realiAe 'ha' 'he counsellor is human like himHher< ha+ing e+en similar pro0lems like hisHher.
This frees 'he clien' from 'he fear of 0eing freak in hisHher pro0lem. Af'er all< 'he clien' is no' alone in
'his par'icular pro0lem.
%1+ MODELLING
The counsellor is no' only a person 8ho had a pro0lem similar 'o 'ha' of 'he clien' 0u' also
heHshe is a person 8ho has s'ruggled 'o go 'hrough 'he pro0lem and reach 'he solu'ion and in 'ha' 8ay
'he e/perience of 'he counsellor 0ecomes a model for 'he clien' 'o imi'a'e and also i' is an in+i'a'ion 'o
0ecome like 'he counsellor in dealing 8i'h 'he pro0lem.
%/+ DIRECTION
CounsellorMs self-disclosure pro+ides a direc'ion 'o 'he clien'< for< 'ill 'he counsellor shared
hisHher pro0lem 'he clien' 8as 8allo8ing in hisHher o8n misery and af'er hearing a self-disclosure of 'he
counsellor heHshe kno8s 8here 'o go and ho8 'o reach 'here 0ecause 'here is someone in fron' of
17#
himHher concre'ely 8ho has achie+ed 8ha' heHshe is s'ruggling 'o achie+e. -n 'ha' 8ay counsellorMs
sharing poin's 'he direc'ion 'o 'he clien'.
/+ DANGERS OF SELF7DISCLOSURE
The resul' of self-disclosure is am0i+alen'. -n any case< 'oo much of self-disclosure 8ill 0e
e/hi0i'ionis'ic and 'oo less of 'he same 8ill indica'e psychological ill-heal'h on 'he par' of 'he
counsellor. ?hen 'he self-disclosure is inappropria'e i' migh' 0e harmful. 7ere 0elo8 le' us consider
cer'ain cri'eria 'o Eudge a self-disclosure 8he'her i' is appropria'e or inappropria'e. -f 'hey are done in
'he follo8ing 8ays 'hey are defini'ely inappropria'e.
%8+ 5URDENSOME
Clien's are already 0urdened 8i'h 'heir pro0lem 8hich is su0Eec'i+ely 'oo much for 'hem 'o
carry. And no8 if your sharing also 8ere 'o add a load 'o 'heir already e/is'ing pro0lem i' is
0urdensome 'o 'he clien'. @f course 'here are persons 8ho in+i'e and apprecia'e your sharing 0u' no'
e+ery0ody and if you 0y chance Eudge 'ha' your sharing is defini'ely going 'o do harm 'o 'he clien'
making himHher more 'rou0led< i' is 0e''er 'ha' you refrain from sharing.
%.+ APPEARING 9EAK
Clien's 8i'h pro0lem feel 'ha' 'hey are 8eak. ?eak persons usually approach a s'rong person
for help. -n 'he eyes of 'he clien' 'he counsellor is a s'rong person. &+en if 'he counsellor is no' ac'ually
s'rong a' leas' 'he clien' needs 'o 'hink so. They need 'o idealiAe a s'rong person and no8 in 'his con'e/'
'he counsellor happens 'o 0e in 'ha' posi'ion. :us' like 'he clien's 8hen 'hey 8ere young idealiAed 'heir
paren's and sa8 'hem s'rong< no8 'hey see 'he counsellor as a s'rong person. -n such circums'ances 'he
counsellorMs sharing is going 'o 0ring do8n hisHher image in 'he eyes of 'he clien' and i' migh' in'erfere
8i'h 'he clien'Bs confidence in 'he compe'ence of 'he counsellor 'here0y 0ecoming coun'erproduc'i+e.
According 'o 7einA 7ohu'< 'he fa'her of $elf Psychology< 8e ha+e 'hree 0asic needs. The firs' is
'he need 'o 0e mirrored. Children ha+e a s'rong need 'o 0e sho8n 0y paren's 'ha' 'hey are +ery special<
grea'< and 8elcome. ?hen 'he paren's do 'his affirma'ion< 'hey are mirroring. The second need is 'he
need 'o idealiAe. The li''le child needs 'o idealiAe 'he paren'< especially as heHshe senses 'ha' hisHher
grandiose self canno' relia0ly mas'er 'he 8orld. -' is qui'e impor'an' 'o 'he child 'ha' 'he paren's are
po8erful and kno8ledgea0le. They merge 8i'h 'he percei+ed grea'ness and calm of an idealiAed self-
o0Eec' 8ho is of'en 'he fa'her or mo'her or any paren'al figure. The 'hird need is for '8ining. Children
need 'o kno8 'ha' 'hey share impor'an' charac'eris'ics 8i'h one or 0o'h of 'heir paren's and 'ha' 'hey are
no' 'oo differen' from 'he 8orld in'o 8hich 'hey ha+e 0een 0orn. !o8 'he poin' is 'ha' clien's idealiAe
'he counsellors. Therefore if 'hey come 'o kno8 'he 8eakness of 'he counsellors 'hrough 'heir self-
disclosure 'ha' migh' endanger 'heir psychological equili0rium or homeos'asis. Therefore 'his is one of
'he dangers of self-disclosure.
1.2

%1+ DOMINATING
$ome'imes sharing oneMs pro0lem 8i'h 'he clien' migh' indica'e an a''i'ude of C- kno8 0e''er
'han you and so - 8ill 'ake care of you and your pro0lem.B -ns'ead of helping 'he clien' 'o play 'he
primary role in dealing 8i'h hisHher pro0lem heHshe may 0e pushed 'o 'he secondary role 0y your
generous a''i'ude of doing 'hings for himHher. This happens 0y 8ay of sharing your pro0lem and 'he
8ay you handled such si'ua'ions and no8 concre'ely 0eing 8illing 'o do 'he same for 'he clien'.
17*
%/+ COUNTER TRANSFERENCE
Fsually 'he clien's proEec' 'heir earlier unresol+ed rela'ionships of 0o'h posi'i+e and nega'i+e
na'ure on 'he counsellor 8hich is called 'ransference. -n 'he same 8ay if 'he counsellor 8ere 'o proEec'
hisHher unresol+ed earlier rela'ionships on 'he clien' and ge' a''ached< i' is called Ccoun'er 'ransference.B
-' is also possi0le in a su0'le 8ay 0o'h consciously and unconsciously 'o manipula'e oneMs self-
disclosure 'o ge' oneMs needs me' like 'he need for appro+al< in'imacy< and se/.
;+ FACILITATI6E SELF7DISCLOSURE
7a+ing seen 8ha' self-disclosure is and 8ha' i's ad+an'ages are and i's dangers< 8e no8
consider ho8 'he self-disclosure ough' 'o 0e.
%8+ RELE6ANT AND SELECTI6E
?ha' you share should ha+e a 0earing on 'he pro0lem presen'ed. Jou may ha+e many
e/periences 0u' no' all of 'hem are rele+an'. Jour sharing should no' dis'rac' 'he clien' from 'he main
issue. -' should only help 'he clien' 'o unders'and hisHher pro0lem 0e''er. Therefore< i' has 'o 0e
rele+an'< selec'i+e< and focused.
%.+ APPROPRIATE
Jour sharing need no' 0e for e+ery sen'ence of 'he clien'. -' should no' 0e so frequen' as 'o
occupy so much of 'he 'ime of counselling 8i'hou' gi+ing 'he clien' a fair chance 'o e/press himHherself
fully and e/plore hisHher pro0lems and find solu'ions for 'he same. -' should no' 0e done righ' a' 'he
0eginning. Jour sharing should 0e 8ell-'imed< 'rim and no' 'oo frequen'.
%1+ FLEGI5LE
$elf-disclosure migh' help a clien'K 0u' i' is no' a mus'. There may 0e counselling si'ua'ions
8here self-disclosure may no' 0e needed. -n 'hose circums'ances 0e con'en' 8i'h 'he sharing of 'he
clien' and you need no' force your sharing on 'he clien'. @nly if you Eudge 'ha' your sharing in some
8ay 8ill help 'he clien' you need 'o self-disclose< o'her8ise 0e 8ise enough no' 'o impose your sharing
on 'he clien'.
4. IMMEDIAC: %DIRECT) MUTUAL TALK+
8;2
-mmediacy is #!e "ili#* #$ eC'l$re Ai#! n$#!er A!# is !''ening in #!eir rel#i$ns!i'. -n
counselling 'here is an in'erplay of emo'ional reac'ions 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee.
&mo'ions usually colour our in'erac'ions. &i'her 'hey do good 'o 'he counselling or ac' agains' 'he
success of 'he counselling. The counsellor needs 'o kno8 'he su0'le in'erplay of hisHher emo'ions and
'hose of 'he clien' and deal 8i'h 'hem 0efore 'hey 'ake a gigan'ic propor'ion and des'roy 'he counselling
process and ou'come. )eelings and emo'ions are ac'ually impor'an' mo'i+a'ing forces. To say 'ha' one
does no' ha+e feelings is 'alking ou' of non-a8areness of 'he feeling< no' ou' of i's non-e/is'ence.
-mmediacy refers 'o 'he counsellorMs reac'ions 'o 'he counsellee during 'he counselling sessions. -' is 'he
a0ili'y of 'he counsellor 'o e/plore 8i'h 'he clien' 8ha' is happening in 'heir rela'ionship. -' is a direc'
and mu'ual 'alk 0e'8een 'he '8o< of 8ha' happens 0e'8een 'hem. -' is a kind of C *$u7&e7#lB.M The
17,
clien'Ms in'erpersonal s'yle can 0e 'o some e/'en' seen in hisHher rela'ionship 8i'h 'he counsellor and if
'here is a group< hisHher rela'ionship 'o 'he group 8ill resem0le hisHher reac'ion 8i'h o'her groups also.
8. KINDS OF IMMEDIAC:
-n all 'here are mainly '8o kinds of immediacy. @ne is o+erall rela'ionship immediacy and 'he
o'her is here-and-no8 immediacy.
%8+ O6ERALL RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIAC:
7ere 'he counsellor discusses ho8 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee rela'e 'o each o'her. They
do no' 'ake up issues like any par'icular i'ems 'ha' are spoken of 0u' only 'he rela'ionship 'hey ha+e 8i'h
each o'her. An e/plora'ion in'o such a rela'ionship is called o+erall rela'ionship immediacy. The
counsellee rela'ing 'o 'he counsellor as hisHher fa'her is an e/ample. -f 'he e/pec'a'ion of 'he clien'
in'erferes 8i'h 'he counselling process< a discussion on 'he +ery e/pec'a'ion of 'he clien' 'o 0e 'rea'ed 0y
'he counsellor as hisHher fa'her 8ould do< is helpful. This is called o+erall rela'ionship immediacy since
i' deals 8i'h a par'icular rela'ionship of 'he clien' 8i'h 'he counsellor.
%.+ HERE7AND7NO9 IMMEDIAC:
7ere 'he considera'ion 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee is 8ha' is going on 0e'8een
0o'h of 'hem righ' no8. 7ere 'hey do no' 8orry a0ou' 'heir general rela'ionship a' all 0u' only 8ha' is
Eus' happening 0e'8een 'hem. -f a counsellor 8ere 'o deal 8i'h a cer'ain irri'a'ion heHshe has 8hen 'he
clien' is no' dis'inc' and clear in hisHher e/pression i' is a here and no8 immediacy. )or e/ample< 'he
counsellor asks direc' ques'ions for 8hich 'he clien' gi+es indirec' ans8ers. This fac' does no' 'ouch
'heir rela'ionship 0u' 8ha' happens concre'ely during 'he session here and no8. Therefore a discussion
on 8ha' 'akes place here and no8 in 'he session is called here-and-no8 immediacy.
.+ COMPONENTS OF IMMEDIAC:
%8+ A9ARENESS:
Fnless you are a8are of 8ha' is happening 0e'8een you and 'he clien' you canno' 0e immedia'e.
Through much non+er0al language 'he clien' and you are communica'ing and you should 0e a0le 'o pick
i' up for considera'ion and 'ha' requires a cer'ain amoun' of a8areness.
%.+ COMMUNICATION
A8areness alone is useless unless you communica'e 'he a8areness 'o 'he clien'. )or immediacy<
'here should 0e a dialogue 0e'8een you and 'he clien'. -f you are only a8are of 8ha' is happening< 'hen
no dialogue 8ill 'ake place. Jou need 'o communica'e. 7ere make use of all 'he skills required 'o 0e
empa'hic in communica'ing 'o 'he clien'.
%1+ ASSERTI6ENESS
17.
$ince immediacy calls for courage 0ecause of 'he delica'e si'ua'ion and 'he fear of offending 'he
clien'< 'his par'icular skill requires asser'i+eness 'o dialogue 8i'h 'he clien' a' 'imes on unpleasan'
ma''ers.
1+ PURPOSE OF IMMEDIAC:
%8+ TO 5E IMMEDIATE 9ITH COUNSELLOR
-mmediacy helps 0o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee 'o8ards effec'i+e 8orking 'oge'her a'
'he counselling sessions. $ince 'heir rela'ionship is 0eing 'aken care of 0y 'he use of immediacy< 'he
counselling can 0e effec'i+e 8i'hou' maEor hurdles. The clien' learns 'o rec'ify 'he defici' in hisHher
rela'ionship 8i'h 'he counsellor and 'he 8ay heHshe rela'es 'o himHher.
%.+ TO 5E IMMEDIATE 9ITH OTHERS:
Dealing 8i'h 'heir rela'ionship helps 'he clien' 'o re+ie8 hisHher rela'ionship 8i'h o'hers ou'side
'he counselling sessions. -f 'he counsellee 8orks ou' hisHher rela'ionship pro0lem 8i'h 'he counsellor<
hisHher rela'ionship 8i'h o'hers ge's au'oma'ically rec'ified. Thus immediacy helps 'he clien' 'o se' righ'
hisHher rela'ionship 8i'h 'he counsellor for efficien' 8orking 'oge'her and secondly i' helps himHher 'o
0e effec'i+ely immedia'e 8i'h o'hers in hisHher rela'ionship.
/+ CONTEGT OF IMMEDIAC:
A girl of #* 8as sen' 'o me for counselling. $he 8as uncomfor'a0le 8i'h her fa'her 8hene+er he
+isi'ed her in 'he hos'el. $he said 'ha' she 8as afraid of him.
Counsellor : ?ha' are you afraid ofL
Counsellor : - am afraid 'ha' my fa'her 8ill rape me.
Counsellor : Do you ha+e such fear only 8i'h regard 'o your fa'herL
Counsellor : !o< - feel 'he same 8i'h e+ery man 8hen - happen 'o 0e alone in 'he
company of any man.
Counsellor : @(< and no8 'ha' you are alone 8i'h me a male person 8ha' are you
e/periencing righ' no8L
Counsellee : - feel 'he same 8i'h you 'oo.
Counsellor : ?ha' are 'he possi0ili'ies 'ha' - 8ill rape youL
The a0o+e illus'ra'ion is a case in poin'. The girl 8as afraid of her fa'her 'ha' he migh' rape her
and 'ha' could 0e deal' 8i'h since 'he same fear 8as 'here a0ou' 'he counsellor. 7ere 0y dealing 8i'h
'he clien'Ms fear of 'he counsellor< 'he counsellor could help her 'o deal 8i'h 'he fear of her fa'her. This
is precisely 'he 8ork of immediacy. "e' us no8 consider 'he si'ua'ions 'ha' call for immediacy.
%8+ TRUST ISSUE:
Counsellee : Fsually - donM' like 'o 0e guided 0y 8omen. -f - 8ere 'o rela'e 'o a
8oman - should feel 0e''er 'han she is. This does no' happen 'o me in
rela'ing 'o men.
Counsellor : $ince - am a 8oman counsellor do you feel comfor'a0le 'o share 8i'h
171
me since you migh' consider my role as superiorL
Counsellee : - am no' comfor'a0le 8i'h you.
%.+ DEPENDENC:
$ome clien's 8an' 'o play a su0ordina'e role and 'hey may 0e seeking occasions and persons 'o
play 'ha' role. They 8ould apprecia'e 'ha' someone 'akes charge of 'hem and 'hey 0ecome dependen'.
Counsellor : - ha+e 0een no'icing from 'he 0eginning 'ha' you seem 'o 0e
rela'ing 'o me as 'hough you 8ould do 'o your mo'her.
%1+ DIFFERENT STAGES
7ere 'here is a discussion a0ou' 'he approach 'he counsellor 'akes and 'he approach 'he
counsellee 'akes.
Counsellor : All 'ha' - am saying seems 'o 0e a Eoke for you and - 8onder 8hen
you 8ill 'ake 'he issue seriously.
%/+ DIRECTIONLESS SESSION
Counsellor : -' looks 'o me 'ha' 0o'h of us are missing each o'her during
'his session< and - am 8ondering 8ha' could i' 0e.
%;+ ATTRACTIONS
Counsellor : )rom 'he firs' momen' 8e me' each o'her 8e seemed 'o ha+e
liked each o'her and 'ha' may 0e 'he reason< - suppose< 'ha' 'he counselling does
no' proceed.
%-+ SOCIAL DISTANCE
Counsellor : - am 8ondering 8he'her my 0elonging 'o a differen' e'hnic group
from yours plays a role in your hesi'a'ion 'o deal 8i'h me.
%<+ ANGER
-n counselling you may ge' angry in 'he follo8ing si'ua'ions:
1. ?hen you find nega'i+e 'ransference and nega'i+e reac'ions of 'he clien'.
#. ?hen you are frus'ra'ed 8i'h 'he 8ay heHshe is 8orking.
*. ?hen heHshe clings 'o hisHher irra'ional 0eliefs and refuses 'o 0udge.
,. ?hen heHshe 0lames you for 'he failure of 'he procedure.
.. ?hen in a su0'le 8ay heHshe is 'rying 'o 0lackmail you.
177
-mmediacy and self-disclosure seem 'o 0e 'he same 0u' 'hey are no'. -n self-disclosure 'he
counsellor shares hisHher e/perience resem0ling 'he pro0lem 'he counsellee had presen'ed< 8hereas in
immediacy 'he counsellor speaks a0ou' 'he o+erall rela'ionship 8i'h 'he counsellee or some issues 'ha'
crop up 0e'8een 'hem in 'he counselling si'ua'ions.
88 88
PERSONALI=E THE CLIENT>S DEFICIENC: PERSONALI=E THE CLIENT>S DEFICIENC:
PERSONALI=ING PERSONALI=ING
Pers$nliHe #!e clien#>s de(icienc* %A!# #!e clien# is d$ing $r n$# d$ing #!# c$n#ri"u#es #$ !isL!er Pers$nliHe #!e clien#>s de(icienc* %A!# #!e clien# is d$ing $r n$# d$ing #!# c$n#ri"u#es #$ !isL!er
'r$"le&+ "* susing #!e ($r&ul ?:$u (eelJ.."ecuse *$u cnn$#J..> 'r$"le&+ "* susing #!e ($r&ul ?:$u (eelJ.."ecuse *$u cnn$#J..>
!o8 8e ha+e reached 'he middle of counselling. -' 'ook a pre''y long 'ime 'o arri+e a' 'his !o8 8e ha+e reached 'he middle of counselling. -' 'ook a pre''y long 'ime 'o arri+e a' 'his
poin'. There had 0een a lo' of prepara'ion a' +arious le+els. )inally 'he momen' has come 'o look in'o poin'. There had 0een a lo' of prepara'ion a' +arious le+els. )inally 'he momen' has come 'o look in'o
'he pro0lem and o8n 'he deficiency. There are 'hree cardinal s'eps in counselling. They are pacing< 'he pro0lem and o8n 'he deficiency. There are 'hree cardinal s'eps in counselling. They are pacing<
personaliAing< and reframing. !o8 8e are a' personaliAing le+el. )rom no8 on8ards 'he process of personaliAing< and reframing. !o8 8e are a' personaliAing le+el. )rom no8 on8ards 'he process of
counselling 'akes a differen' 'urn. @nce 'his is done 'hen comes 'he goal. 4u' 'o arri+e a' 'he goal< counselling 'akes a differen' 'urn. @nce 'his is done 'hen comes 'he goal. 4u' 'o arri+e a' 'he goal<
personaliAing is +ery essen'ialK 8ha' has 0een personaliAed 0ecomes 'he goal. personaliAing is +ery essen'ialK 8ha' has 0een personaliAed 0ecomes 'he goal.
$omeho8 8e ha+e learned 'o 0lame o'hers for our o8n mis'akes and faul's. ?e do no' 'ake 'he $omeho8 8e ha+e learned 'o 0lame o'hers for our o8n mis'akes and faul's. ?e do no' 'ake 'he
responsi0ili'y for our o8n ac'ions. ?e look for some scapegoa's 'o pu' our 0lame on 'hem< and 'hus responsi0ili'y for our o8n ac'ions. ?e look for some scapegoa's 'o pu' our 0lame on 'hem< and 'hus
e/onera'e oursel+es from 'he 0urden of 'he responsi0ili'y of o8ning our mis'akes. &+en as children 8e e/onera'e oursel+es from 'he 0urden of 'he responsi0ili'y of o8ning our mis'akes. &+en as children 8e
ha+e learned 'hese 'ac'ics and 'he elders 'hemsel+es 'augh' us 'ricks. A child falls do8n 0ecause of i's ha+e learned 'hese 'ac'ics and 'he elders 'hemsel+es 'augh' us 'ricks. A child falls do8n 0ecause of i's
clumsy gai' and uns'eady s'eps s'um0ling o+er a s'one. The child 8as no' careful 'o 8alk and so i' clumsy gai' and uns'eady s'eps s'um0ling o+er a s'one. The child 8as no' careful 'o 8alk and so i'
s'um0led and fell do8n< 0u' immedia'ely 'he elders make 'he child 0ea' 'he s'one< or 'he ground< or 'he s'um0led and fell do8n< 0u' immedia'ely 'he elders make 'he child 0ea' 'he s'one< or 'he ground< or 'he
elders 'hemsel+es gi+e 'he punishmen' 'o 'he ground for ha+ing made 'he child s'um0le do8n. The elders 'hemsel+es gi+e 'he punishmen' 'o 'he ground for ha+ing made 'he child s'um0le do8n. The
child learns +ery early in life 'ha' i' can al8ays find someone 'o 0lame for i's mis'akes. This goes on child learns +ery early in life 'ha' i' can al8ays find someone 'o 0lame for i's mis'akes. This goes on
172
e+en un'o adul'hood. The people 8ho go a0ou' 0laming e+ery0ody else for one 'hing or o'her ha+e e+en un'o adul'hood. The people 8ho go a0ou' 0laming e+ery0ody else for one 'hing or o'her ha+e
learned such ha0i's from 'heir childhood< 0u' la'er i' 0ecomes a manipula'i+e 'echnique for 'hem 'o deal learned such ha0i's from 'heir childhood< 0u' la'er i' 0ecomes a manipula'i+e 'echnique for 'hem 'o deal
childishly 8i'h people around 'hem. This is one of 'he unheal'hy 8ays of li+ing a phoney life 8i'hou' childishly 8i'h people around 'hem. This is one of 'he unheal'hy 8ays of li+ing a phoney life 8i'hou'
su0s'ance. su0s'ance.
-n e+ery quarrel 0o'h 'he par'ies are 'o 0lame 'o some e/'en'. -' is a ques'ion of degree. 4y 'his -n e+ery quarrel 0o'h 'he par'ies are 'o 0lame 'o some e/'en'. -' is a ques'ion of degree. 4y 'his
- do no' mean 'ha' 'here could 0e inEus'ice done 'o an indi+idual 8i'hou' 'ha' indi+idual 0eing a' faul'. - do no' mean 'ha' 'here could 0e inEus'ice done 'o an indi+idual 8i'hou' 'ha' indi+idual 0eing a' faul'.
Mos'ly in in'erpersonal rela'ionships 8e find 'ha' 'he indi+idual 8ho complains has some par' 'o play Mos'ly in in'erpersonal rela'ionships 8e find 'ha' 'he indi+idual 8ho complains has some par' 'o play
'o8ards 'he pro0lem. 'o8ards 'he pro0lem.
PersonaliAing is an a''emp' on 'he par' of 'he counsellor 'o make 'he clien' realiAe hisHher PersonaliAing is an a''emp' on 'he par' of 'he counsellor 'o make 'he clien' realiAe hisHher
con'ri0u'ion 'o8ards 'he pro0lem. The counsellor canno' deal 8i'h 'he 'hird par'y in 'he case of 'he con'ri0u'ion 'o8ards 'he pro0lem. The counsellor canno' deal 8i'h 'he 'hird par'y in 'he case of 'he
clien' ha+ing some pro0lem 8i'h ano'her indi+idual. All 'ha' 'he counsellor can do is 'o deal 8i'h 'he clien' ha+ing some pro0lem 8i'h ano'her indi+idual. All 'ha' 'he counsellor can do is 'o deal 8i'h 'he
clien' righ' in fron' of himHher. 7eHshe makes 'he clien' unders'and 8here heHshe s'ands 8i'h regard 'o clien' righ' in fron' of himHher. 7eHshe makes 'he clien' unders'and 8here heHshe s'ands 8i'h regard 'o
8here heHshe has 'o go. To 0ring 'o 'he a8areness of 'he clien' hisHher personal defici's is called 8here heHshe has 'o go. To 0ring 'o 'he a8areness of 'he clien' hisHher personal defici's is called
personaliAing. personaliAing.
-n 'he firs' fe8 in'er+ie8s 8i'h 'he clien's< you 8ill hear 'hem 'alking a0ou' o'hers and 8ha' is -n 'he firs' fe8 in'er+ie8s 8i'h 'he clien's< you 8ill hear 'hem 'alking a0ou' o'hers and 8ha' is
8rong 8i'h o'hers and no' 8i'h 'hemsel+es. "a'er 'hey speak a0ou' 8ha' happened 'o 'hem< 'ha' is 'heir 8rong 8i'h o'hers and no' 8i'h 'hemsel+es. "a'er 'hey speak a0ou' 8ha' happened 'o 'hem< 'ha' is 'heir
e/perience and s'ill la'er 'hey speak a0ou' 'heir feelings and las'ly and 8i'h reluc'ance 'hey migh' speak e/perience and s'ill la'er 'hey speak a0ou' 'heir feelings and las'ly and 8i'h reluc'ance 'hey migh' speak
a0ou' 8ha' 'hey did< 'ha' is< 'heir 0eha+iour. ?hile speaking a0ou' 'heir e/perience and feeling 'hey a0ou' 8ha' 'hey did< 'ha' is< 'heir 0eha+iour. ?hile speaking a0ou' 'heir e/perience and feeling 'hey
con+enien'ly lea+e ou' 'heir 0eha+iour 0ecause perhaps in 'heir o8n eyes 'hey 8an' 'o appear 0lameless< con+enien'ly lea+e ou' 'heir 0eha+iour 0ecause perhaps in 'heir o8n eyes 'hey 8an' 'o appear 0lameless<
or 'he a8areness of 'heir con'ri0u'ion 'o 'heir pro0lem is so shocking a 'hing 'ha' as a defence or 'he a8areness of 'heir con'ri0u'ion 'o 'heir pro0lem is so shocking a 'hing 'ha' as a defence
mechanism 'hey a+oid e+en 'he 'hough' of i'< Eus' like drunkards 8ill no' like 'he +ery men'ion of 'he mechanism 'hey a+oid e+en 'he 'hough' of i'< Eus' like drunkards 8ill no' like 'he +ery men'ion of 'he
8ord CalcoholB 0ecause 'hey feel guil'y a0ou' i'. 8ord CalcoholB 0ecause 'hey feel guil'y a0ou' i'.
The counsellor should 0e careful a0ou' 'he 'iming of personaliAing 0ecause 'he clien's 'ake a The counsellor should 0e careful a0ou' 'he 'iming of personaliAing 0ecause 'he clien's 'ake a
long 'ime 'o o8n 'heir responsi0ili'y. 4ecause of a defence mechanism 'hey delude 'hemsel+es 'elling long 'ime 'o o8n 'heir responsi0ili'y. 4ecause of a defence mechanism 'hey delude 'hemsel+es 'elling
'ha' only 'he o'her par'y is a' faul'. -n 'ha' 8ay 'hey 0ecome 0lind 'o 'heir role. - ha+e seen clien's 'ha' only 'he o'her par'y is a' faul'. -n 'ha' 8ay 'hey 0ecome 0lind 'o 'heir role. - ha+e seen clien's
'aking e+en mon'hs 'o o8n 'heir par' in 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion. This only sho8s ho8 s'rong 'he defence 'aking e+en mon'hs 'o o8n 'heir par' in 'he pro0lem si'ua'ion. This only sho8s ho8 s'rong 'he defence
is. ?hen 'he clien' is no' ready for personaliAing< you fall 0ack on 'he per+ious s'age reflec'ing 'he is. ?hen 'he clien' is no' ready for personaliAing< you fall 0ack on 'he per+ious s'age reflec'ing 'he
feeling un'il such 'ime 'he clien' is ready 'o re+ie8 hisHher con+ic'ions. feeling un'il such 'ime 'he clien' is ready 'o re+ie8 hisHher con+ic'ions.
PersonaliAing is in'ernalising 'he personal defici'. Personal defici's of 'he clien's can 0e in 'he PersonaliAing is in'ernalising 'he personal defici'. Personal defici's of 'he clien's can 0e in 'he
form of 8ha' one does 'ha' is a pro0lem or 8ha' one does no' do 'ha' is a pro0lem. @ne may con'ri0u'e form of 8ha' one does 'ha' is a pro0lem or 8ha' one does no' do 'ha' is a pro0lem. @ne may con'ri0u'e
'o 'he pro0lem 0y commission or omission. ?ha' 'he clien' did 'ha' should no' ha+e 0een done or 8ha' 'o 'he pro0lem 0y commission or omission. ?ha' 'he clien' did 'ha' should no' ha+e 0een done or 8ha'
'he clien' did no' do 'ha' has 0ecome a pro0lem. "e' us illus'ra'e 'hese si'ua'ions 0y e/amples. 'he clien' did no' do 'ha' has 0ecome a pro0lem. "e' us illus'ra'e 'hese si'ua'ions 0y e/amples.
8. 9HAT ONE DOES 8. 9HAT ONE DOES
$ounder: - am a failure in my office. !o0ody o0eys me e+en 'hough - am 'he chief in 'he office. $ounder: - am a failure in my office. !o0ody o0eys me e+en 'hough - am 'he chief in 'he office.
Counsellor: ?ha' is happening in your officeK 'ell me more a0ou' i'. Counsellor: ?ha' is happening in your officeK 'ell me more a0ou' i'.
$ounder: ?hene+er - gi+e some orders< 'he su0ordina'es do no' carry 'hem ou'K 'hey drag any 8ork $ounder: ?hene+er - gi+e some orders< 'he su0ordina'es do no' carry 'hem ou'K 'hey drag any 8ork
and no'hing is compe'ed on 'ime. and no'hing is compe'ed on 'ime.
Counsellor: ?ha' do 'he su0ordina'es doL Counsellor: ?ha' do 'he su0ordina'es doL
$oundar: They reac' and murmur. $oundar: They reac' and murmur.
Counsellor: ?ha' do 'hey murmurL Counsellor: ?ha' do 'hey murmurL
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$oundar: Tha' - am 'oo rough in commanding 'hem. $oundar: Tha' - am 'oo rough in commanding 'hem.
7ere 'he defici' of 'he clien' 8as 'ha' he 8as commanding his su0ordina'es in a rough manner. 7ere 'he defici' of 'he clien' 8as 'ha' he 8as commanding his su0ordina'es in a rough manner.
7ere i' is 'he ques'ion of commission 8hich has 0ecome a pro0lem for 'he clien'. 7ere i' is 'he ques'ion of commission 8hich has 0ecome a pro0lem for 'he clien'.
.. 9HAT ONE DOES NOT DO .. 9HAT ONE DOES NOT DO
Ci'hara has already Eoined 'he s'aff-nurse course. 7er family is no' 8ell off and ye' i' managed Ci'hara has already Eoined 'he s'aff-nurse course. 7er family is no' 8ell off and ye' i' managed
'o see 'o her admission and 8ill like 'o see her 'hrough 'he course. 'o see 'o her admission and 8ill like 'o see her 'hrough 'he course.
Ci'hara: Ci'hara: - 'hough' i' 8ould 0e glamorous 'o 0e in 'he nursing profession< 0u' af'er Eoining i'< - - 'hough' i' 8ould 0e glamorous 'o 0e in 'he nursing profession< 0u' af'er Eoining i'< -
realiAe 'ha' - 8ill no' fi' in'o 'his programme and much less 'ake i' as my profession all realiAe 'ha' - 8ill no' fi' in'o 'his programme and much less 'ake i' as my profession all
'hrough my life. 7ones'ly speaking< - 8an' 'o gi+e i' up. 4u' ho8 my paren's 8ill 'ake 'hrough my life. 7ones'ly speaking< - 8an' 'o gi+e i' up. 4u' ho8 my paren's 8ill 'ake
i'< - am afraid. They ha+e already spen' so much of money on my course. i'< - am afraid. They ha+e already spen' so much of money on my course.
Counsellor: Counsellor: Jou realiAe 'ha' you do no' ha+e 'he liking for 'he nursing profession and Jou realiAe 'ha' you do no' ha+e 'he liking for 'he nursing profession and
8ould like 'o gi+e i' up< 0u' are afraid of offending your paren's. 8ould like 'o gi+e i' up< 0u' are afraid of offending your paren's.
Ci'hara: Ci'hara: Tha' is 'rue. - donM' ha+e 'he gu's 'o 'ake a s'and for myself e+en if i' 8ere 'o Tha' is 'rue. - donM' ha+e 'he gu's 'o 'ake a s'and for myself e+en if i' 8ere 'o
offend my paren's. offend my paren's.
7ere personaliAing 'he pro0lem means her lack of courage 'o 'ake a decision and e/ecu'e i'. The 7ere personaliAing 'he pro0lem means her lack of courage 'o 'ake a decision and e/ecu'e i'. The
defici' of 'he clien' is no' ha+ing 'he courage 'o 'ell her decision. 7ere 'he pro0lem is 0y 8ay of defici' of 'he clien' is no' ha+ing 'he courage 'o 'ell her decision. 7ere 'he pro0lem is 0y 8ay of
omission. omission.
There is no fun in discussing a0ou' 'he defici' of 'he 'hird par'y. The clien' can do 'ha' for days There is no fun in discussing a0ou' 'he defici' of 'he 'hird par'y. The clien' can do 'ha' for days
'oge'her 0u' 'he counselling 8ill no' proceed. Therefore one day 'he clien' should se''le do8n 'o look 'oge'her 0u' 'he counselling 8ill no' proceed. Therefore one day 'he clien' should se''le do8n 'o look
in'o himHherself and see 8ha' heHshe is doing or no' doing 'ha' is hisHher pro0lem. in'o himHherself and see 8ha' heHshe is doing or no' doing 'ha' is hisHher pro0lem.
$ome migh' ask 8ha' a0ou' innocen' persons in+ol+ed. )or e/ample< one is 8rongly accused of $ome migh' ask 8ha' a0ou' innocen' persons in+ol+ed. )or e/ample< one is 8rongly accused of
s'ealing. 7ere 8ha' is 'he commission or omissionL )or< 'he clien' ne+er did any'hing. -' is 'rue 'ha' s'ealing. 7ere 8ha' is 'he commission or omissionL )or< 'he clien' ne+er did any'hing. -' is 'rue 'ha'
'he clien' did no' commi' 'he offence< 0u' heHshe allo8ed himHherself 'rou0led 0y 'he accusa'ion. The 'he clien' did no' commi' 'he offence< 0u' heHshe allo8ed himHherself 'rou0led 0y 'he accusa'ion. The
fac' 'ha' heHshe permi''ed 'o 0e 8orried on accoun' of 'he accusa'ion. @f course< 'his does no' mean 'ha' fac' 'ha' heHshe permi''ed 'o 0e 8orried on accoun' of 'he accusa'ion. @f course< 'his does no' mean 'ha'
'he clien' should no' defend hisHher innocence. 7eHshe should do all 'ha'. 7ere 8e are only speaking 'he clien' should no' defend hisHher innocence. 7eHshe should do all 'ha'. 7ere 8e are only speaking
a0ou' personaliAing 'he pro0lem. -n 'his con'e/' 'he clien' failed 'o refuse 'o 0e 'rou0led 0y 'he a0ou' personaliAing 'he pro0lem. -n 'his con'e/' 'he clien' failed 'o refuse 'o 0e 'rou0led 0y 'he
accusa'ion. This only sho8s 'ha' in e+ery pro0lem< 'he clien' has a share. -n counselling< 'he counsellor accusa'ion. This only sho8s 'ha' in e+ery pro0lem< 'he clien' has a share. -n counselling< 'he counsellor
facili'a'es 'he clien' 'o iden'ify 'ha' share 8hich is a defici' 0y 8ay of commission or omission. @nce facili'a'es 'he clien' 'o iden'ify 'ha' share 8hich is a defici' 0y 8ay of commission or omission. @nce
'his has 0een done< you are on 'he righ' 'rack< o'her8ise you are half 'he 8ay 'hrough. 'his has 0een done< you are on 'he righ' 'rack< o'her8ise you are half 'he 8ay 'hrough.
-n personaliAing you could use 'he formula like: QJou feel..................0ecause you canM' ............Q -n personaliAing you could use 'he formula like: QJou feel..................0ecause you canM' ............Q
The clien' in hisHher narra'ion 8as a+oiding looking in'o hisHher role and a' an appropria'e 'ime The clien' in hisHher narra'ion 8as a+oiding looking in'o hisHher role and a' an appropria'e 'ime
'he counsellor personaliAed 'he pro0lem. Counselling 8ill no' 0e comple'e if 'he clien' does no' 'he counsellor personaliAed 'he pro0lem. Counselling 8ill no' 0e comple'e if 'he clien' does no'
unders'and hisHher role. An empa'hic 8ay of responding is essen'ial a' 'he 0eginning and sooner or la'er unders'and hisHher role. An empa'hic 8ay of responding is essen'ial a' 'he 0eginning and sooner or la'er
you should facili'a'e 'he clien' 'o percei+e hisHher deficiency and o8n i'. you should facili'a'e 'he clien' 'o percei+e hisHher deficiency and o8n i'.
-f 'he clien' is no' ready 'o reach 'his le+el< 'here is no fun in proceeding fur'her 8i'h 'he -f 'he clien' is no' ready 'o reach 'his le+el< 'here is no fun in proceeding fur'her 8i'h 'he
counselling. Perhaps 'o prepare 'he clien' one may go 0ack 'o 'he pre+ious s'age< 0u' someho8 'he counselling. Perhaps 'o prepare 'he clien' one may go 0ack 'o 'he pre+ious s'age< 0u' someho8 'he
clien' should 0e prepared 'o face 'he si'ua'ion. Among 'he mos' impor'an' 'asks in counselling< o8ning clien' should 0e prepared 'o face 'he si'ua'ion. Among 'he mos' impor'an' 'asks in counselling< o8ning
responsi0ili'y comes as one of 'hem. @ne 8ho 'hinks 'ha' heHshe made a mis'ake 8ill in all pro0a0ili'y responsi0ili'y comes as one of 'hem. @ne 8ho 'hinks 'ha' heHshe made a mis'ake 8ill in all pro0a0ili'y
mend hisHher life< 8hereas heHshe 8ho 'hinks heHshe is immacula'e 8ill ne+er impro+e hisHher life. This mend hisHher life< 8hereas heHshe 8ho 'hinks heHshe is immacula'e 8ill ne+er impro+e hisHher life. This
126
is 'he mos' 'hrea'ening par' of counselling. There 8as a young man 8ho 8as coming 'o me for is 'he mos' 'hrea'ening par' of counselling. There 8as a young man 8ho 8as coming 'o me for
counselling for mon'hs< 0u' he could ne+er arri+e a' 'he personaliAing s'age< for< someho8 he 8ould counselling for mon'hs< 0u' he could ne+er arri+e a' 'he personaliAing s'age< for< someho8 he 8ould
a+oid any a''emp' on my par' 'o personaliAe. )or 8an' of personaliAing< he ne+er sol+ed his pro0lems. a+oid any a''emp' on my par' 'o personaliAe. )or 8an' of personaliAing< he ne+er sol+ed his pro0lems.
-n his office he 8ould ac' like a 0oss e+en 'hough he is only one of 'he su0ordina'es and ge' 'he odium -n his office he 8ould ac' like a 0oss e+en 'hough he is only one of 'he su0ordina'es and ge' 'he odium
of o'hers< 0u' i' ne+er occurred 'o him 'ha' his 0ossing o+er o'hers 8as his pro0lem ra'her 'han 'he of o'hers< 0u' i' ne+er occurred 'o him 'ha' his 0ossing o+er o'hers 8as his pro0lem ra'her 'han 'he
ha'red of his colleagues. ha'red of his colleagues.
=ealiAing 'he impor'ance of personaliAing 'he deficiency of 'he counsellee for 'he 0enefi' of =ealiAing 'he impor'ance of personaliAing 'he deficiency of 'he counsellee for 'he 0enefi' of
counselling< 'he counsellor should make e+ery effor' 'o do 'ha' a' an appropria'e 'ime. counselling< 'he counsellor should make e+ery effor' 'o do 'ha' a' an appropria'e 'ime.
The concep' of personaliAing 'he pro0lem is simple and +ery essen'ial for 'he success of 'he The concep' of personaliAing 'he pro0lem is simple and +ery essen'ial for 'he success of 'he
counselling. -' may no' 0e pruden' 'o personaliAe 'he pro0lem of 'he clien' +ery early unless 'he clien' counselling. -' may no' 0e pruden' 'o personaliAe 'he pro0lem of 'he clien' +ery early unless 'he clien'
has 0een sufficien'ly prepared. -f done early< you migh' lose 'he clien'. 4ecause personaliAing is has 0een sufficien'ly prepared. -f done early< you migh' lose 'he clien'. 4ecause personaliAing is
'hrea'ening prac'ically for all. 'hrea'ening prac'ically for all.
116 116

8.
FIND OUTALTERNATI6E FRAME OF REFERENCE
Find $u# l#ern#i@e (r&e $( re(erence using #!e ($r&ul ?*$u (eelJ "ecuse *$u cnn$#J nd
*$u An# #$J>

7a+ing seen 8ha' reframing means< no8 8e en'er in'o 'his s'ep 'o ar'icula'e differen' 8ays of
reframing. =eframing in shor' is no'hing o'her 'han Cal'erna'i+e frame of reference.B -n al'erna'i+e frame
of reference you Eus' reframe. Jou see 'he reali'y from ano'her angle. Therefore< reframing and
al'erna'i+e frame of reference are 'he same. !o8 le' us spell ou' 'he differen' 8ays of reframing or
finding ou' al'erna'i+e frames of reference.
7ere 'he concern of 'he counsellor is 'o s'imula'e al'erna'i+e frame of reference for a clien' 8ho
is s'uck 8i'h one frame of reference. ?e ha+e pro0lems 0ecause 8e ha+e one 8ay of dealing 8i'h
reali'y 'ha' is pro0lema'ic< and if you de+elop some o'her 8ays of dealing 8i'h 'he same reali'y 'hen 'he
pro0lem disappears. The counsellor s'imula'es 'he clien' 'o ha+e such a differen' frame of reference
8hich is al'erna'i+e 'o 'he one heHshe already has. The more al'erna'i+e frames of reference you find 'he
0e''er i' is. 7ere 0elo8 le' us consider differen' 8ays 'o s'imula'e 'he clien's 'o +arious al'erna'i+e
frames of reference or reframing.
111

8. SOL6A5LE PRO5LEM
121
Clien's ha+e 'he 'endency 'o ca'as'rophiAe 'heir pro0lem si'ua'ion 'o such an e/'en' 'ha' 'hey
0elie+e 'ha' 'here is no'hing 'ha' can 0e done a0ou' 'he si'ua'ion. This can 0e made ou' from 'he use of
'heir +oca0ulary. Clien's s'a'e 'heir pro0lem as unsol+a0le and 'ha' is 8hy 'hey are helpless. To e/press
such a helpless si'ua'ion 'hey use 'he C- canM'B language. 4y such use of language 'hey already decide
0eforehand 'ha' no'hing can 0e done 'o change 'he si'ua'ion and make 'hem feel 0e''er. @ne canno'
change oneMs heigh'< oneMs comple/ion and 'he like. -n 'he same 8ay clien's 'hink of 'heir pro0lems 'oo.
-' is perhaps 'hey CdonM'B do ra'her 'han CcanM'B do. There is a +as' difference 0e'8een McanM' doM and MdonM'
doM. -f 'he clien's 8ere 'o s'a'e 'heir pro0lems as MdonM' doM 'hen i' is sol+a0le and 8e can facili'a'e
gro8'h in 'he indi+idual.
Counsellee: My sis'er and - are no' on 'alking 'erms since 'he 'ime 8e quarrelled o+er
proper'y di+ision and - canM' face her anymore par'icularly 8hen - remem0er
ho8 selfish she had 0een.
Counsellor: -s i' 'ha' you canM' face her or you donM' face herL
Counsellee: -' is no' 'ha' - canM' face her 0u' - do no' 'ake 'he 'rou0le 'o 'alk 'o her.
The counsellee came 8i'h an unsol+a0le pro0lem of impossi0ili'y and 'he counsellor helped him
'o s'a'e i' as sol+a0le. Af'er 'his 'he process of counselling 8ill 0e made easier.
.. CONCENTRATION ON RESOURCES
Clien's are in 'heir depressi+e defici's 8hen 'hey are 'alking 'o you. The counsellors should 0e
a8are of 'he defici's of 'he clien's 'o 0e sure and also make sure 'ha' 'he clien's 'oo are a8are of 'hem in
'he personaliAing s'age< for 8i'hou' 'ha' a8areness no'hing 8or'h8hile can 0e done. 4u' i' is no'
recommended 'o d8ell on 'he defici's only. 7a+ing 'aken s'ock of 'he defici's< concen'ra'e on 'he
resource of 'he clien' 8hich 8ill 0righ'en up hisHher fu'ure. The clien' concen'ra'es on 'he defici's<
8hereas you help himHher 'o concen'ra'e on 'he resources< and 'his is s'imula'ing 'he clien' 'o an
al'erna'i+e frame of reference.
Counsellee: - Eus' canM' manage 8i'h my mo'her-in-la8 mos' of 'he 'ime. $ee< 'his +ery
morning 8e had a 0ig figh' and - do no' kno8 8ha' heHshe 8ill 'ell my hus0and
8hen he comes home 'his e+ening.
Counsellor: Jou feel una0le 'o handle your mo'her-in-la8 and 8hile speaking a0ou' i'
you said 'ha' mos' of 'he 'ime you are no' a0le. Are 'here some'ime 8hen you are
a0le 'o manage herL
Counsellee: Jes< of course< 'here are 'imes 8hen - am a0le 'o manage her.
Counsellor: Could you 'ell me 'he 8ay you manage her some'imeL
The fac' 'ha' mos' of 'he 'ime she 8as no' a0le 'o handle 8ell her mo'her-in-la8 is a defici'
indeed< 0u' i' con'ains a ray of hope 'ha' a' 'imes she is a0le 'o handle her 8ell. Pro0ing more in'o her
a0ili'y 'o deal 8ell 8i'h her mo'her-in-la8 migh' 0e useful for 'he clien'. -den'ifying 'he resources and
concen'ra'ed on 'hem ra'her 'han on defici's is ano'her 8ay of s'imula'ing 'he clien' 'o an al'erna'i+e
frame of reference.
1. POSITI6E FUTURE
12#
Clien's 8an' 'o ha+e a 0righ' fu'ure 8i'hou' 'he pro0lem 'hey are curren'ly facing. 4u' 'hey
ha+e no' con'empla'ed ho8 'he fu'ure 8ill look like. -f only 'hey 8ere 'o con'empla'e 'heir 0righ'
fu'ure< 'hey 8ould find 8ays and means 'o change 'he presen' pro0lem< for< 'he con'empla'ion of 'he
fu'ure pulls 'hem as an incen'i+e 'o in+es' 'heir energies in changing 'he presen' si'ua'ion. @f course<
'he 8ay 'he counsellor s'imula'es a clien' 'o 'he posi'i+e fu'ure could 0e in many 8ays. The presen'
pro0lem 0eing faced and e/perienced as such is one frame of reference< and 'he fu'ure imagined 8i'hou'
'his pro0lem is an al'erna'i+e frame of reference 'ha' migh' ul'ima'ely help 'he clien'.
Counsellee: ?hen - come home af'er my office 8ork in 'he e+ening - find myself
quarrelling 8i'h my 8ife and 0ea'ing up 'he children so much so no0ody is
happy a' home especially 8hen - am presen'.
Counsellee: ?ha' 8ill you 0e doing if you are no' quarrelling and 0ea'ing up 'he childrenL
Counsellee: - 8ill 0e pa'ien' and apprecia'i+e of my 8ife and children.
The clien' is immersed in his presen' 0eha+iour< and imagining 'he 'ype of fu'ure 8i'h no
quarrelling and 8i'h pa'ience and apprecia'ion of 'he family mem0ers is an al'erna'i+e frame of
reference.
/. DREADFUL FUTURE
People 8ho con'inuously< 0y ac's of self-defea'ing 0eha+iour pa''erns< engage in ac'i+i'ies
de'rimen'al 'o 'heir safe'y and repu'a'ion are o0li+ious of 'heir dreadful fu'ure 'ha' 8ill 0e 'he ou'come
of 'heir presen' 0eha+iour. Making 'hem peep in'o 'ha' fu'ure 'ha' 8ill e+en'ually da8n upon 'hem 8ill
perhaps help 'hem change 'heir 8ays.
Counsellee: "ying and s'ealing ha+e 0ecome a 8ay of life for me. &+er since my paren's
died 8hen - 8as 'oo small< - 'ook 'o s'ealing and - 'ell a num0er of lies 'o
escape apprehension and e+en'ual punishmen'.
Counsellor: -f you con'inue 'o 0eha+e 'he 8ay you do< af'er some fi+e years from no8 ho8 8ill
your life look likeL
Counsellee: May0e< - 8ill land up in 'he Eail.
The clien' may 0e implici'ly a8are of ho8 his fu'ure 8ould look 0leak 8i'h his presen' s'ealing
ha0i'< 0u' perhaps he did no' 'hink i' ou' in clear 'erms ho8 e/ac'ly his fu'ure 8ill look like. The
counsellor 0y his knack and skill made 'he counsellee see 'he e+il consequences 'ha' 8ill come as a
resul' of his presen' self-defea'ing 0eha+iour.
;. OPEN FUTURE
-n posi'i+e fu'ure 8e concen'ra'e on making 'he clien' see 'he posi'i+e aspec's of hisHher life
8i'hou' 'he presen' pro0lem< and in dreadful fu'ure 8e dra8 hisHher a''en'ion 'o 'he e+il consequences
of hisHher presen' ac'i+i'ies in 'he fu'ure. -n open fu'ure 8e only raise ques'ion as 'o 'he fu'ure lea+ing
'he res' 'o 'he clien' 'o decide for himHherself. This dra8ing of hisHher a''en'ion 'o 'he fu'ure i'self is an
in+i'a'ion 'o make hisHher fu'ure 0e''er.
Counsellee: - 8ork as a clerk in a high school. My salary is sufficien' enough 'o main'ain
my family. @f'en - hos' par'ies 'o my friends and colleagues and someho8
no'hing is sa+ed for my fu'ure. My firs' '8o daugh'ers are of marriagea0le
age and 'o see 'hem se''led is a 0ig financial 0urden. Already '8en'y years
ha+e elapsed 8i'hou' my sa+ing any'hing. @nly fif'een more years are lef'.
12*
Counsellee: Jou ha+e 0een spending all your earning on friends and par'ies 'he las'
'8en'y years and no8 ho8 are you going 'o spend 'he res' of you earning
yearsL
The clien' is a8are 'ha' he has 0een spending and no'hing has 0een sa+ed. 4u' i' ne+er occurred
'o him 'ha' he should sa+e for 'he fu'ure. The counsellor presen's an open fu'ure 'ha' 'he clien' can fill
up 8i'h sa+ing. 4u' in all likelihood 'he pro0e of 'he counsellor is an in+i'a'ion 'o 'he clien' 'o use his
money sparingly. And 'his is an al'erna'i+e frame of reference.
A cancer pa'ien' 8as informed 0y 'he doc'or 'ha' he 8ould li+e for a year or so. The pa'ien' has
already spen' si/ mon'hs in depression. 7e goes 'o a counsellor for counselling.
Counsellee: There is no'hing - can do. My life is o+er. - 8as 'old 0y 'he doc'or 'ha' - migh' li+e for
one year. Already< you kno8< si/ mon'hs ha+e gone. - am s'ill in depression.
Counsellor: Jou feel despera'e a0ou' your de0ili'a'ing illness. Jou ha+e already spen' si/ mon'hs
in depression. 7o8 are you going 'o spend 'he res' of your lifeL
7ere 'he counsellor is a''emp'ing 'o s'imula'e 'he clien' 'o ano'her 8ay of li+ing no' necessarily
in depression as 'he clien' does. This is ano'her 8ay of s'imula'ing 'he clien' 'o al'erna'i+e frame of
reference.
-. ANOTHER ANGLE
The clien'Ms 8ay of looking a' 'he si'ua'ion is no' 'he only 8ay. The counsellor can look a' 'he
same reali'y differen'ly and like8ise people also 8ill +ie8 'he same si'ua'ion differen'ly. The
counsellor could challenge 'he clien' 0y presen'ing hisHher angle of 'he reali'y 8hich is ano'her angle 'o
'he e/is'ing angle of 'he clien'.
Counsellee: -n fac' - am +ery much concerned a0ou' e+ery0ody< 'rying 'o help 'hem on
'ime. 4u' someho8 people call me a MParanoidM for my ac's of deep concern
for 'hem. - do no' kno8 8hy 'hey call me so.
Counsellor: 7o8 do you manifes' your concern for o'hersL
Counsellee: ?i'h grea' care - pro0e in'o 'heir life 'o kno8 if 'hey need my help.
Counsellor: 7o8 your pro0ing 8ill 0e unders'ood 0y o'hersL
Counsellee: They could 'hink 'ha' - am suspec'ing 'hem.
?he'her 'he counsellee 8as really suspicious of o'hersM 0eha+iour is no' sure. &+en if heHshe
8as no' suspicious< a' leas' o'hers ha+e unders'ood himHher 'o 0e so and 'ha' is ano'her 8ay of looking
a' 'he concerned 0eha+iour of 'he clien'. The clien' 'hough' 'ha' heHshe 8as +ery much concerned a0ou'
o'hers< 8hereas o'hers 'hough' 'ha' heHshe 8as suspicious. Thinking all 0y himHherself 'he clien' 8ould
no' ha+e come 'o 'he realiAa'ion 'ha' heHshe 8as appearing 'o 0e suspicious< and 'his angle 8as pro+ided
0y 'he counsellor 8hich is an al'erna'i+e frame of reference.
<. SOFT PEDALLING
?hen your feed0ack 'o a person is 'oo direc' and heHshe is no' a0le 'o accep' 'he direc'
accusa'ion as i' is< you can con+ey 'he same message 0y differen' 8ays 'ha' are less 'hrea'ening and less
personal. -f 'he accusa'ion is aimed a' 'he clien'< heHshe 8ill feel 'hrea'ened 0u' if you 8ord i' in such a
8ay 'ha' i' 8as 'he pro0lem of 'he o'her 'ha' has 0rough' a0ou' a pro0lema'ic si'ua'ion for 'he clien'< 'he
clien' may no' feel 'hrea'ened.
12,
Counsellee: My hus0and al8ays 0lames me for 'he misconduc' of 'he children as if - am
'he only person responsi0le for 'heir 8ay8ardness.
Counsellor: ?ha' does he 'hink 'ha' you are no' doing 'o 0ring up 'he children 8ellL
The counsellor 8an'ed 'o ask 'he ques'ion C8ha' are you doing or failing 'o do 'ha' did no' help
'he children gro8 disciplinedLB 4u' 'his ques'ion is 'oo direc' and poin'edly speaks a0ou' 'he
deficiencies of 'he clien'< 8hich perhaps she may no' o8n. 4u' 0y asking 'he 8ay heHshe did< 'he
counsellor pu's 'he same message and in'ends 'o make 'he clien' o8n her deficiencies as 'hough i' 8as
'he hus0and 8ho 'hough' 'ha' she did no' do 8ell ra'her 'han in reali'y she did no' do 8ell. This is
sof'ening 'he direc' message. May0e af'er some'ime she 8ill 0e prepared 'o accep' a direc' message and
un'il 'ha' 'ime i' is 8ise on 'he par' of 'he counsellor no' 'o personaliAe 'oo soon. As a prepara'ion 'o
personaliAe 'he deficiencies of 'he clien'< 'he counsellor can make use of indirec' and sof' measures 'o
dri+e home 'he idea.
4. T9O PERSPECTI6ES
There are a' leas' '8o dis'inc' 8ays of looking a' some'hing. @ne is posi'i+e and ano'her is
nega'i+e. @ne is an op'imis'ic a''i'ude< and 'he o'her is a pessimis'ic a''i'ude. -f one has a pessimis'ic
+ie8 heHshe can 0e s'imula'ed 'o ha+e an op'imis'ic +ie8
There is a classical e/ample for 'hese '8o perspec'i+es.
Prisoner A: ;"ooking ou' and seeing 'he mire in fron' of 'he 8ard moaned 8i'h disgus'>
7o8 dir'y is 'his hellO
Prisoner 4: ;"ooking ou' 'hrough 'he 0ars a' 'he open 0lue sky s'udded 8i'h s'ars
e/claimed> 7o8 0eau'iful is 'he a'mosphereO
4o'h 'he prisoners are 0ehind 'he 0ars in 'he prison< 0u' 'heir 8ay of looking a' 'he 'hings 'ha'
surround 'hem are qui'e differen'.
2. CHANGING ROLES
The counsellee ac's as 'he counsellor and you ac' as 'he counsellee. ?hen you are a' a loss 'o
make 'he clien' see your poin' of +ie8< and 8hen 'he clien' is s'uck 8i'h hisHher o8n +ie8< 'hen
changing 'he role as an e/ercise for a 8hile 8ill 0e 0eneficial for 'he clien' 'o see 'he 'hings you ha+e
0een la0ouring for hours 'o make himHher see. To a clien' 8ho had 0een nega'i+e from 'he 0eginning of
'he session< 'he counsellor migh' say 'hus:
Counsellor: -magine 8ha'e+er you said and did in 'his session is said and done 0y me.
7o8 8ill you respond 'o meL
Counsellee: umRi' is difficul' 'o do 'ha'. Any8ayR- a''emp'. Jou seem 'o 0e nega'i+e 'o8ards
me for no apparen' faul' of mine. -' may 0e good 'ha' you are a li''le posi'i+e
'o8ard me if you 8an' 'o deal smoo'hly 8i'h your pro0lem.
The counsellor ge's 'he 0eha+iour and a''i'ude he 8an'ed from 'he clien' 0y making himHher 'ake
'he role of a counsellor. This also is a 8ay of s'imula'ing 'he clien' 'o an al'erna'i+e frame of reference.
80. CHALLENGING 6ALUES
12.
?e 0eha+e according 'o our +alue sys'em. A' 'imes< 'he +alues 8e cherish may 0e limi'ing us 'o
such an e/'en' 'ha' one does no' lead a heal'hy life. -' is 8or'h challenging oneMs +alues and making
'hem reasona0le and in 'une 8i'h 'he 0es' 8ay of human de+elopmen'. A young unmarried girl had an
affair 8i'h a married man< and on accoun' of 'ha' she refuses 'o marry 'he 0oy she lo+es since she 'hinks
'ha' she is no' chas'e.
Counsellee: - feel ashamed of myself. @n 'he one hand - 8an' 'o marry 'he 0oy - lo+e< 0u' on 'he
o'her - am feeling +ery lo8 and depressed 'ha' - am no' a0le 'o offer my chas'i'y 'o him.
Counsellor: Jou seem 'o genuinely lo+e 'he 0oy. ?hich is a higher +alue for you< 'o
offer your chas'i'y or your lo+eL
Counsellee: @f course< lo+e.
7ere 'he counsellor is no' a''emp'ing 'o undermine 'he +alue of chas'i'y< 0u' only helps 'he clien'
'ha' on accoun' of 'he +alue she has placed on chas'i'y she need no' remain unmarried for her 8hole life.
88. CHALLENGING 5ELIEFS
A young officer in+ol+ed in a criminal case 8an'ed 'o end his life. 7e has already escaped 'he
clu'ches of 'he la8< and ye' ou' of shame he 8an'ed 'o commi' suicide.
Counsellee: - los' my face< my repu'a'ion and e+ery'hing else. ?ha' is 'he use of li+ingL
Counsellor: "ife seems meaningless af'er losing you repu'a'ion.
Counsellee: ?ha' is lef' for me is dea'h and no'hing more.
Counsellor: Jou seem 'o 0e saying 'ha' e+ery'hing is los'< 0u' 8ha' a0ou' your lifeL
Counsellee: Jes< only life is 'here and 8ha' forL
Counsellor: -s your repu'a'ion more precious 'han your lifeL
7ere 'he counsellor is 'rying 'o re+i+e 'he clien'Ms 8ill 'o li+e 0y using a cer'ain s'ra'egy. 7eHshe
challenges 'he +ery 0elief of 'he clien'. @f course< all of us should li+e 8i'h repu'a'ion and a' 'imes i'
may 0e also los'< 0u' life is no' mean' for repu'a'ion< 0u' repu'a'ion for life. -f repu'a'ion is los'< s'ill life
is lef' and 'ha' is 8or'h li+ing.
8.. USING FIF STATEMENT
Cer'ain e/pression of yours may sound like accusa'ions. -f 'he clien's feel 'hey are accused<
'hey may close up for fear of confron'a'ion. -n such momen's you could reframe in such a 8ay 'ha' 'he
clien' does no' feel 'hrea'ened< 0u' a' 'he same 'ime you con+ey 'he message. )or e/ample< you could
no' follo8 'he e/pression of 'he clien' in spi'e of your a''en'ion and concen'ra'ion 0ecause 'he clien' did
no' clearly ar'icula'e. Jou could speak 'o 'he clien' in 'he follo8ing 8ays:
Counsellor: ?ha' you say is no' clear 'o me. -' 8ill 0e 0e''er if you e/press yourself 8i'h
some clari'y.
Defini'ely 'he clien' 8ill feel 'ha' 'his s'a'emen' is an accusa'ion and may 0ecome ner+ous a0ou'
hisHher e/pression< e/cessi+ely 0eing 8orried a0ou' 'he 8ay heHshe repor's< and 'hus inhi0i'ing hisHher
spon'anei'y and 'he free flo8 of language.
Counsellor: - ha+e no' follo8ed 8ha' you ha+e saidK 8ould you care 'o say i' once againL
-n 'his second 8ay of responding< 'he counsellor pu's 'he 0lame no' on 'he clien' 0u' in a 8ay on
himHherself< indica'ing perhaps 'ha' heHshe for some reason or o'her could no' follo8 'he clien'. 7ere
121
'he implica'ion is 'ha' 'he clien' need no' 0e a' faul' for 'he non-clari'y< for< i' could ha+e 0een 'he
mis'ake of 'he counsellor himHherself. 7ere 'he clien' may feel comfor'a0le 'o repea' 8ha' heHshe has
already said 8i'hou' 0eing em0arrassed.
?e can go on gi+ing e/amples of al'erna'i+e frame of reference. Depending upon your
ingenui'y< you migh' in+en' a num0er of 8ays 'o reframe 'he clien's. Jou may make use of any me'hod
'o reframe 'he clien' and make himHher life happy.
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EMPLO: PRO5LEM7SOL6ING TECHNIQUES)
5EHA6IOURAL STRATEGIES)
AND ACTION PROGRAMMES
INITIATING
?hen 'he clien' spoke 'o you< you lis'ened carefully< responded 8ell< pinpoin'ed 'he pro0lem<
8en' along 8i'h himHher< personaliAed 'he clien'Ms defici's and finally reframed. $o far 8ha' you ha+e
done is a grand success. Prac'ically 8e can say 'ha' 'he counselling is comple'e 0u' if lef' like 'his
no'hing may 0e prac'ised. 7ence i' is your du'y 'o ini'ia'e 'he ac'ion of 'he clien'. Jou are facili'a'ing
himHher 'o 'ake 'he necessary s'eps 'o ac' according 'o 'he ne8 orien'a'ion heHshe has go' af'er
in'erac'ing 8i'h you. -n a 8ay< you 0ecome a social influencer and someho8 'he clien' feels you ha+e
influenced himHher 'o a grea' e/'en' and your influencing goes on righ' 'ill 'he end of 'he counselling.
More specifically you 8ill ini'ia'e pro0lem-sol+ing 'echniques< 0eha+ioural s'ra'egies and ac'ion
programmes 0y se''ing goals and making con'rac's 8i'h 'he clien'. There is no hard and fas' rule as 'o
8ha' you should do and 8hich school of 'hough' you need 'o follo8. $chools of 'hough's are
orien'a'ions differen' psychologis's 'ake 'o8ards human personali'y< pro0lems< and possi0le solu'ions 'o
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'he pro0lems. ?ha' is 'he fun of s'icking 'o a par'icular school of 'hough' and ye' no' 0eing a0le 'o help
'he clien'L Jour adherence 'o any school of 'hough' is in +ie8 of helping a clien'. Therefore< ins'ead of
asking 8hich school of 'hough' you should use< i' is good 'o kno8 'ha' you can do all 'ha' is e'hical 'o
help 'he clien' ou'. Jou could follo8 any school< or any me'hod pro+ided 'he clien' is helped. )rom
your +as' reper'oire of psychological kno8ledge and e/perience dra8 ou' any'hing 'ha' fi's 'he clien'
si''ing in fron' of you. -< on my par' make use of any'hing - can ca'ch hold of a' 'ha' par'icular momen'<
'he me'hod 'ha' - Eudge a' 'ha' 'ime 'o 0e helpful. A' 'imes 'he me'hod - adop' does no' 8ork< 'hen -
change 'o ano'her me'hod and if 'ha' 'oo fails - am no' pu' ou'< - 'ry again 8i'h ano'her un'il 'he clien' is
helped. Jour concern should 0e one of helping ra'her 'han using a me'hod. There are 'imes 8hen -
com0ine many 'echniques 'oge'her.
-n 'his s'ep you are going 'o ini'ia'e 'he clien' in'o ac'ion. The clien' e/plored< unders'ood and
no8 heHshe is going 'o ac'. ?ha' heHshe is going 'o achie+e is 'he goal and ho8 heHshe 8ill arri+e a' 'he
goal is s'ra'egy. The 8ay heHshe 8ill s'ick on 'o 'he process of 'he s'ra'egies un'il heHshe reaches 'he
goal is sus'ained 0y 'he con'rac's heHshe makes 8i'h you. 4efore you en'er in'o 'he goals proper< cer'ain
guidelines 8i'h regard 'o 'his s'ep of ini'ia'ing 8ill 0e in place.
8. FIND A LE6ERAGE
8-.
Clien's may +isualiAe many goals. !o' all of 'hem can 0e carried ou' all a' once. The clien's
need 'o es'a0lish priori'ies of goals and accordingly 'hey can achie+e 'heir goals. The counsellor and 'he
clien' in+es' a lo' of resources in 'he process of counselling. They should ge' a reasona0le re'urn on 'he
in+es'men' of 'he resources. The principle of le+erage 8ould 0e: res$n"le re#urn $n #!e
in@es#&en# $( #!e res$urces $( #!e clien# nd #!e c$unsell$r. &la0ora'ed i' 8ill mean 'he follo8ing
poin's:
8+ ATTEND TO CRISIS FIRST
?hen 'here are many issues surrounding a clien' and if one of 'hem is +ery cri'ical< you need 'o
address 'he crisis firs' since for a clien' 8ha' 8ould 0e uppermos' in hisHher mind is hisHher crisis. )or
e/ample< a clien' has Eus' recei+ed hisHher medical repor' 8hich says 'ha' heHshe has a cancer and comes
'o your office 0urs'ing ou' in'o 'ears. Jou need 'o 0e 8i'h 'he clien' comfor'ing himHher more 8i'h your
presence 'han 0y pro0es like: Do your friends kno8 a0ou' i'L 7o8 much 8ould i' cos' 'o 'ake a
'rea'men'L and 'he like. Accep'ing 'he clien' 8i'h hisHher feelings and making< if necessary< some
unders'anding responses 8ould 0e appropria'e.
.+ ATTEND TO PAIN
&+en if 'he clien's are no' in crisis 'hey may 0e in grea' psychological pain. A lady 8as forced
'o ha+e se/ in a Eoin' family si'ua'ion 0y a male mem0er of 'he family. -' so much hur's her since she
feels she 8as unfai'hful 'o her hus0and and if some0ody 8ere 'o kno8 such an affair i' 8ould 0e
disas'rous for her and her family. The pain she feels is real e+en 'hough i' is psychological. And such
pains meri' immedia'e a''en'ion.
1+ ATTEND TO 9HAT CLIENT CONSIDERS IMPORTANT
?ha' is impor'an' for 'he clien' may no' appear impor'an' 'o 'he counsellor. &+en if i' is 'rue
'ha' 8ha' 'he counsellee holds as impor'an' is no' really impor'an' 0ecause 'he clien' 8an's 'o escape
from real issues i' is recommended 'ha' 'he counsellor s'ar's 8i'h 'he in'ernal frame of reference of 'he
122
clien'. May0e a' a la'er s'age 'he clien' can 0e led 'o consider serious issues. Therefore< i' is al8ays
recommended 'o consider 'he issues 'ha' 'he clien' considers impor'an'. )or e/ample a clien' 0rings up
'8o issues. @ne is a0ou' his heal'h and 'he o'her is a0ou' his family. 7e 8an's 'o deal 8i'h 'he family
pro0lem 8hereas you see 'he heal'h issue as urgen'. $ince 'he clien' considers 'he family pro0lem as
impor'an'< you could a''end 'o i' firs'.
/+ ATTEND TO A MANAGEA5LE SU57PRO5LEM
The 8hole pro0lem may 0e 'oo comple/ and complica'ed and i' 8ill no' 0e possi0le for 'he
clien' 'o s'ar' all of a sudden 8orking on 'he pro0lem all 'oge'her. -ns'ead< 'he counsellor could make
'he clien' focus on a small 0i' of 'he pro0lem and af'er dealing 8i'h i' heHshe can lead himHher 'o 'he
o'her areas of 'he pro0lem. -n a college< 'he principal 8as no' doing 8ellK he had quarrels 8i'h 'he s'aff<
'he s'uden's< and 'he non-'eaching s'aff. 7is 8hole in'erpersonal s'yle 8as a' s'ake. -ns'ead of dealing
8i'h 'he 8hole range of pro0lems in 'he college< 'he counsellor could deal< for e/ample< 8i'h one of
'hese 'hree issues 'ha' is managea0le. -f 'he pro0lem 8i'h 'he non-'eaching s'aff seems managea0le le'
himHher s'ar' 8i'h 'ha' and go 'o o'her issues on 'he agenda.
;+ ATTEND TO THE PRO5LEM THAT 9ILL :IELD GENERAL IMPRO6EMENT
Many issues may 0e in'errela'ed in one 0ig pro0lem. And no' all 'he issues are of equal
impor'ance in 'erms of general impro+emen'. Therefore< ins'ead of 8as'ing 'ime on issues 'ha' 8ill no'
enhance life +ery much< 'he counsellor could concen'ra'e on an issue 8hich 8hen handled 8ell 8ill 'ake
care of o'her issues au'oma'ically. A young man 8as ha+ing pro0lem in 'he office. 7is colleagues do
no' ge' on 8ell 8i'h him and his su0ordina'es find i' e/'remely difficul' 'o 8ork under him< and e+en 'he
+isi'ors 'o 'he company feel a' 'imes humilia'ed 0y him. 7e admi's 'ha' he is a perfec'ionis'. 7e
demands perfec'ion from e+eryone including himself. -ns'ead of dealing 8i'h 'he rela'ionship 8i'h 'he
a0o+e men'ioned ca'egories of people< if he could deal 8i'h his dri+e C0e perfec'<B - 'hink his o'her
pro0lems 8ill su0sideK 'he o'her pro0lems are only symp'oms of his dominan' dri+e C0e perfec'.B
-+ ATTEND TO PRO5LEMS FOR 9HICH 5ENEFITS 9ILL OUT9EIGH THE COSTS
7ere follo8 'he la8 of economy. A' 'imes 8i'h grea' effor' and spending a lo' of 'ime you migh'
do a 8or'h8hile Eo0 8i'h 'he clien' and for 'he clien' i' 8ould ha+e cos' a lo'. 4u' 'he ques'ion 'o 0e
asked is 8he'her 'he resul' is propor'iona'e 'o 'he 'ime spen'< 'he effor's 'aken and 'he cos'. -n a small
'o8n 'here 8as only one psychia'ris' 8or'h 'he name and efficien'. 7e had a clien' 8ho needed special
a''en'ion 0y 8ay of 'herapies for 8hich he had no 'ime. 7e firs' 'hough' of sending 'he clien' 'o a far off
place 'o mee' ano'her psychia'ris' 8hich 8ill cos' much for 'he clien'. @n a second 'hough' he made use
of 'he ser+ices of a clinical psychologis' a+aila0le in 'he 'o8n 8i'h his guidance 'o help 'he clien'.
<+ INSTIL CONFIDENCE IN THE CLIENT
Confidence does more magic 'han 'he skills. - kno8 a doc'or 8ho 8ha'e+er 0e 'he 'ype of
ailmen's 'he pa'ien's go 8i'h< immedia'ely says CDonM' 8orry< - can make you all righ' 166N.B This is 'he
firs' sen'ence he uses on mee'ing any pa'ien' especially if 'he pa'ien' is discouraged< may0e af'er
+isi'ing many doc'ors. Ac'ually 'he confidence 'he doc'or has in himself and his a0ili'y 'o cure 'he
pa'ien' is someho8 unconsciously 'ransferred 'o 'he pa'ien' and 'he pa'ien' 'oo ge's confidence in
hisHher ge''ing 8ell. -n fac'< mos' of 'he pa'ien's< e+en cases 'ha' 8ere a0andoned 0y o'her doc'ors
responded fa+oura0ly 'o his 'rea'men' and go' 8ell. $omeho8 confidence 'riggers on la'en' energy and
'ha' achie+es 'he goal. -f you 0elie+e 'ha' you 8ill 0ecome all righ'< you 8ill see 'ha' you ge' all righ'
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Eus' like if you 0elie+e 'ha' you 8ill 0e reEec'ed< you 0eha+e in such a 8ay 'ha' you 8ill 0e reEec'ed 0y
o'hers. The clien'Ms confidence is connec'ed 8i'h hisHher 0eliefs and 0eliefs can do 8onders. Ac'ually
lack of self-confidence seems 'o 0e 'he roo' cause of 'he people 8ho ge' addic'ed 'o alcohol or drugs.
Therefore much could 0e achie+ed if only you could ins'il confidence in 'he clien'.
The a0o+e-men'ioned considera'ions are only le+erages and 'hey are no' 'o 0e carried 'o 'he
e/'reme in 'he sense 'ill 'he end of 'he session. To s'ar' 8i'h 'he 8ork< you 8ill use 'hese le+erages and
la'er ge' do8n 'o 0usiness 8i'h all seriousnessK o'her8ise i' is a mere 8as'e of 'ime and energy. Jou
should 0e a0le 'o mo+e 'he clien's 0eyond 'he le+erage. The le+erages are only mean' 'o lif' ini'ially
and no' mean' 'o suppor' 'ill 'he end. ?hene+er you 8an' a lif' you 8ill use 'he le+erage and lea+e i'.
.. HELPING CLIENTS COMMIT THEMSEL6ES
9oals are no' achie+ed in spi'e of 'he clien's 0u' 0ecause of 'he clien's. Fnless 'hey 0ind
'hemsel+es 'o 'he plan of ac'ion 'hey ha+e decided< no'hing is going 'o 'ake place. @ne 'hing is 'he
ini'ial commi'men' and 'he o'her is 'he ongoing commi'men'. 4o'h are essen'ial for 'he success of 'he
counselling. -f 'he ini'ial commi'men' i'self 8ere 'o 0e lacking< no'hing 8ill ge' s'ar'ed. To s'ar' 'he
ac'ion plans 'he clien' has 'o commi' himHherself. Commi'men' means responsi0ili'y. $ome fear
responsi0ili'y< and 8ish o'hers 'ake 'he responsi0ili'y and lea+e 'hem free so 'ha' 'hey are no'
ans8era0le. A responsi0le person is ans8era0le. -f you commi''ed 8ell and la'er af'er a se'0ack you
s'opped< and if you pick up courage and con'inue 'he effor'< you ha+e ongoing commi'men'. @nly
commi'men' 8ill genera'e success. The clien' 8ho is reluc'an' 'o commi' ini'ially 8ill no' march a s'ep
for8ard and heHshe 8ill sa0o'age hisHher o8n success.
11*

1. ECONOM: IN ACTION
&nergy< 'ime< and resources are so precious 'ha' one canno' afford 'o squander 'hem any8ay one
likes and 'he loss may 0e 'oo much and 'he cos' 8ould ha+e 0een 'oo high. Take for e/ample a man
8ho 8an'ed 'o 0uy a 'ele+ision se'. As soon as he 'hough' of 0uying a 'ele+ision se' he remem0ered a
company 'ha' sells 'ele+isions. 7e rushed immedia'ely 'o 'ha' company and 0ough' one. "a'er he
realiAed 'ha' 'he one he 0ough' did no' mee' all his requiremen's he 8an'edK 'here are o'her companies
'ha' offer 'he ones he could ha+e liked and for less price. -n 'he same 8ay one may ac' in counselling.
)or a pro0lem 'he clien' ge's an idea and immedia'ely heHshe decides 'o e/ecu'e 'he idea 'ha' firs'
en'ered hisHher headK had heHshe 8ai'ed for some more ideas and so0er 'hinking heHshe 8ould ha+e go'
0e''er solu'ions cos'ing less. @ne may 0e foolish in delaying ac'ion 'oo. There are si'ua'ions for 8hich
i' is 8or'h 8ai'ing for a 8hile 0efore in+es'ing your resources and 'here are si'ua'ions for 8hich 8ai'ing
8ill pro+e 'o 0e harmfulK you may ha+e 'o ac' immedia'ely. The counsellor 8ill facili'a'e 'he clien'
ei'her 'o delay ac'ion or goad on 'o ac'ion depending upon 'he na'ure of 'he issue< so 'ha' 'he clien'
in+es's hisHher resources economically. Thus 8hen resources are sa+ed< 'he clien' could use 'hem for
some'hing produc'i+e< more enhancing and 8or'h8hile.
11,
/. REACHING THE GOAL THROUGH STRATEGIES
8-;
9oals canno' 0e achie+ed Eus' 0y 8ishing. @ne has 'o 8ork a' 'hem. The means employed for
achie+ing 'he goals are s'ra'egies. @nce 'he goal is fi/ed and shaped 'o 'he needs of 'he clien' 'hen 'he
clien' has 'o find ou' 0y 8ha' means heHshe can arri+e a' 'he goal. There is no' Eus' one means 'o
achie+e an end or a goal. There could 0e a num0er of 8ays 'o achie+e 'he goal. Fnless one kno8s
a0ou' 'he many means a+aila0le one canno' make a choice among 'he means. )or 'his< i' is
recommended 'o use di+ergen' 'hinking 8hich is a 8ild 'hinking. -' could 0e 0iAarre and unprac'ical.
To do 'he di+ergen' 'hinking 8hich is a 'ype of 8ild 'hinking< one can make use of 0rains'orming 0y
136
using a series of open-ended ques'ions and pro0es. @ne allo8s oneMs mind 'o 8ander freely and find ou'
all 'he possi0le means 'o achie+e 'he end. @nce 'he clien' has e/haus'ed all 'he possi0ili'ies< 'hen you
can help himHher choose one 'ha' is appropria'e 'o 'he con'e/'. Cer'ain guidelines for di+ergen' 'hinking
8ould 0e useful.
8+ SUSPEND 3UDGEMENT
-n 'he process of di+ergen' 'hinking 'he clien' comes up 8i'h a num0er of possi0le means. As
each possi0le means is 'hough' of< one need no' cri'iciAe i' and assess 'he rele+anceK 'his can 0e done
la'er. -f one s'ar's 'o e+alua'e e+ery possi0le means 'ha' comes 'o 'he mind< 'he clien' may 0e inhi0i'ed
in producing more possi0le means. )or e/ample< one 8an's 'o ge' enough money for s'ar'ing a 0usiness
and one of 'he possi0le means heHshe firs' 'hough' 8as skyEacking a 0us and 'aking all 'he +alua0les
from 'he passengersO -' is only a 8ild 'hinking and ei'her you or 'he clien' need no' pass a Eudgemen' on
'ha' ins'an'aneously for la'er i' can 0e Eudged as une'hical.
.+ ENCOURAGE MORE STRATEGIES
-n 0rains'orming< 'he clien' may s'op af'er enumera'ing a fe8 ideas and look up. Do no' lea+e
'he clien' unless you are sure 'ha' heHshe has really e/haus'ed all hisHher 'hinking in 'ha' regard. -f you
ha+e no' comple'ely e/haus'ed in 'hinking ou' you ha+e only limi'ed choices.
1+ ENCOURAGE CRA=: THINKING
"e' no' 'he clien' 0e ashamed of 8ha' heHshe is 'hinking aloud< for< many of 'hem may appear
craAy 'o 'he counsellor and e+en 'o 'he clien' himHherself. The 8orld is a 0e''er 8orld no8 0ecause our
forefa'hers did some craAy 'hinking. )or e/ample< 'o 'hink of flying in 'he air migh' ha+e 0een a craAy
'hinking 0efore 'he in+en'ion of aeroplanes.
/+ LET THE CLIENT CHOOSE A STRATEG:
!o8 you are 8i'h a lo' of al'erna'i+es or choices and no' all of 'hem are useful. The clien' has
'o choose 'he 0es' ou' of 'hem. 7o8 'o ge' 'he 0es' ou' of 'he many al'erna'i+es is a pro0lem for 8hich
one can use 0alance-shee' me'hodology 8hich considers a choice in 'erms of gain and loss< accep'a0le
and unaccep'a0le or decision-making 'hrough pros and cons or 'hrough C=A5& analysis follo8ed 0y
force-field analysis< or 'hrough any o'her me'hod 'ha' you kno8 of. 4y no8 'he clien' 8ould ha+e
arri+ed a' one par'icular s'ra'egy 8hich heHshe is going 'o implemen'.
;+ MAKE USE OF OLD STRATEG:
-ns'ead of going for ne8 s'ra'egies one 8ould search for s'ra'egy 'ha' 8ould ha+e 8orked 8ell
for 'he clien' in 'he pas'. :us' pu' a ques'ion 'o 'he clien' asking himHher< ho8 in 'he pas' in similar
si'ua'ion heHshe managed 'o deal 8i'h such pro0lems. The clien's usually remem0er some of 'he
'echniques 'ha' 'hey used 8hich 8ere helpful 'o 'hem.
@nce 8hen - 8as a' a loss for ne8 s'ra'egies< - asked 'he clien' 8ho 8as unEus'ly accused of
some'hing serious 0y some responsi0le persons 8ha' she used 'o do in such circums'ances. $he said
'ha' she used 'o pic'ure 'o herself 'he image of her 9od in fron' of her. $he 8ould 'alk 'o him 'elling 'ha'
he kne8 her difficul'ies and 'ha' she 8as unEus'ly accused. 4y 'his she go' a cer'ain inspira'ion as
131
'hough coming from her personal 9od af'er 8hich she 8ould feel relie+ed and 8i'h rene8ed s'reng'h
she 8ould se' a0ou' carrying ou' 'he decisions. Ano'her clien'< a girl s'udying in 'he college said 'ha'
8hen in crisis she used 'o imagine her mo'her 8ho 8as dead and ha+e a dialogue 8i'h her.
@nce - happened 'o counsel an efficien' counsellor. 7e had depressi+e 'hough's 0ecause of 'he
many calumnious accusa'ions. - asked him 8ha' 8ould normally help him in such si'ua'ions. 7e said
'ha' he 8ould remem0er 'he counselling he ga+e 'o people 8ho 8ere depressed< 'elling 'ha' life is far
more precious and impor'an' 'han 'he pro0lem one faces. ?i'h such an idea he used 'o console himself.
- heard one clien' 'elling me 'ha' 8hen he encoun'ers serious pro0lems< he imagines ho8 people 8i'h
more serious pro0lems used 'o sur+i+e and li+e happily. Thus each one of us has cer'ain s'ra'egies 'o
deal 8i'h pro0lems. The counsellor could help 'he clien's 'o remem0er 'heir old 'echniques and make
use of 'hem. ?ha'e+er is useful ei'her old or ne8 8ill do 'o achie+e 'he end.
-+ SUSTAIN THE STRATEG:
-' is no' enough 'o ha+e found ou' a goal< defined i'< 'hen found ou' some s'ra'egies and la'er
chosen one of 'hem and ini'ia'ed ac'i+i'y 0u' i' is equally impor'an' 'o sus'ain 'he s'ra'egies o'her8ise
e+ery'hing falls fla' in 'he middle. &n'ropy is 'he 8ord 'o deno'e 'he 'endency 'o gi+e up an ac'ion 'ha'
has 0een en'husias'ically ini'ia'ed. -ni'ially clien's do no' realiAe 'he hardship in+ol+ed in 'he
implemen'a'ion of 'he s'ra'egies or 'he changed lifes'yle as a resul' of ne8 goals 0eing achie+edK 0u'
soon 'he 'emp'a'ion 'o gi+e up comes spon'aneously for 'he clien' and in fac' 'hey Eus' gi+e up.
)orekno8ledge is fore8arned< i' is said. Therefore i' is required 'o 0e a8are of 'he 'endency 'o en'ropy
and 'ake 'he appropria'e measures for 'he same.
;. COUNSELLEEFS TASK
The clien' e/plored deeply in'o himHherself 'o find ou' 8ha' 8ould ha+e gone 8rong and came
up 8i'h 'he a8areness of cer'ain deficiencies in himHherself. ?i'h 'he a8areness of hisHher deficiencies
and 8i'h 'he facili'a'ion of 'he counsellor heHshe s'ar'ed 'o ha+e al'erna'i+e and cons'ruc'i+e 8ays of
'hinking< feeling and 0eha+ing. !o8 8ha' is a' 'he in'ellec'ual le+el of reframing should flo8 in'o
ac'ion. Tha' is 8ha' 'he counsellee is going 'o do in 'his s'ep.
8+ 9ILLINGNESS TO APPROPRIATE
The clien' has 8orked 8i'h 'he counsellor and finally came 'o a par'icular course of ac'ion. -'
should no' res' as 'he 8ork of 'he counsellor 0u' i' should 0e primarily 'he 8ork of 'he clien'
himHherself. !o8 heHshe should 0e 8illing 'o appropria'e 8ha'e+er has 0een arri+ed a'< 0o'h 0y
himHherself and 'he counsellor. -' has 'o 0e 'he ac'ion of 'he counsellee and no' of 'he counsellor. -' is
going 'o 0e hisHher 8ork and heHshe should make 'he s'ra'egies hisHher o8n. Fnless heHshe makes 'he
s'ra'egies hisHher o8n< heHshe canno' 8ork a' i'. 7ence 8illingness on hisHher par' is of paramoun'
impor'ance. -n o'her 8ords heHshe has 'o 0e highly mo'i+a'ed 'o en'er in'o ac'ion< 'aking a risk and
plunging in'o 'he fu'ure hoping for 'he 0es'.
.+ COURAGE TO CARR: OUT
?ha' 'he clien' has decided is some'hing ne8 'o himHher and so far heHshe is no' used 'o i'. To
+en'ure in'o some'hing ne8 and s'range requires a lo' of courage on 'he par' of 'he clien'. ?i'hou'
courage< 'he appropria'ed s'ra'egies 8ill die ou'. Tha' 8hich gi+es life 'o s'ra'egies is 'he courage of 'he
13#
clien'. MCome 8ha' mayM should 0e hisHher a''i'ude and heHshe should 0e daring enough 'o carry ou' 8ha'
heHshe has decided.
1+ SUSTAINED ATTEMPT
?illingness and courage migh' fail in 'he mids'ream. =elapses and failure are par' of 'he 'o'al
pic'ure of 'he clien'. @ne should no' imagine gloriously 'ha' e+ery'hing 8ould 0e all righ' 0y i'self.
Things migh' fail e+en 8i'h 'he 0es' of mo'i+a'ion and courage. "e' 'he clien' keep 'he a''emp'
sus'ained les' heHshe should fall fla' and 0emoan saying 'ha' no'hing 8orked for himHher .
/+ RESUMING AFTER A RELAPSE
-n spi'e of 'he high mo'i+a'ion< 'remendous courage< and carefully sus'ained a''emp'< s'ra'egies
migh' fail. "e' no' 'he clien' 0e dismayed as 'hough 'he 8hole 8orld has collapsed. !o'hing has 0een
los'. 7eHshe only go' 'he feed0ack informa'ion 'ha' some'hing did no' 8ork for himHher< may0e due 'o
cer'ain fac'ors 'ha' 8ere no' under hisHher con'rol or 8ere no' foreseen.
Taking 'he failure as a feed0ack informa'ion heHshe should resume hisHher sus'ained a''emp'
8i'h 'he same +igour< mo'i+a'ion and courage. -f needed< heHshe should redou0le hisHher effor's 'o reach
'he goal. -' could also 0e an occasion for himHher 'o find ou' 8ha' 8ould ha+e caused 'he failure and
rec'ify i'. )ailures are a par' of 'he complica'ed process of success. The a''ainmen' of e+ery goal may
0e 0ese' 8i'h a lo' of se'0acks and failures.
As 'hough 'he clien' had 0een looking for se'0acks as a par' of 'he process of a''aining 'he goal<
heHshe should af'er a relapse ge' up and 8alk 0riskly 'o8ards hisHher goal.
;+ IN6ESTING THE MAGIMUM
?ha' a' 'imes sa0o'ages oneMs success is lack of generosi'y. -f 'he clien' is no' 8illing 'o in+es'
as much as heHshe could< 'he resul's 8ill also 0e scan'y and s'ingy. -' is no' a ques'ion of squandering
oneMs resources 0u' 'o in+es' 8ha'e+er is a0solu'ely necessary 'o a''ain 'he goal. -n 'ha' 8ay le' 'he
clien' mo0iliAe all hisHher energies and resources 'ha' are needed for 'he a''ainmen' of 'he goal. -' is
0eing generous 'o8ards himHherself. -n 'he long run< hisHher o8n generosi'y 'o8ards himHherself 8ill 0e
an asse' 'o himHher for 0e''er and heal'hy fu'ure.
13*
8/
INSIGHTS
HELPFUL PRACTICAL TIPS
@+er 'he years in counselling prac'ice - found cer'ain commonsense insigh's 8hich 8e make use
of in differen' circums'ances +ery useful in my helping profession. - consider 'hem as prac'ical 'ips for
counselling sessions. 7ere 0elo8 - 8ould like 'o share 'hem 8i'h you.
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8. CHANGE 9HAT CAN 5E CHANGED
Change is 'he aim or o0Eec'i+e of counselling. -' may 0e a 0eha+iour< or a feeling< or a 'hough'<
or a si'ua'ion. There are 'hings 'ha' one canno' change. )irs' le' us consider 'hings 'ha' can 0e changed
and ho8 you 8ill go a0ou' helping 'he clien'. Jou are only dealing 8i'h 'he clien' and no' 8i'h any
'hird par'y. Jou can help 'he clien' 'o change hisHher 0eha+iour. 4u' 8i'h regard 'o 'he 'hird par'y i'
may no' 0e 8i'hin 'he con'rol of 'he clien'. $ee if 0y any means you can effec' a change in 'he clien'.
:us' fancifully 'hinking and concluding 'ha' 'here is no'hing 'ha' can 0e done is a naU+e 8ay of
approaching in 'his helping profession. The clien' along 8i'h you should 0e genuinely searching for
some'hing 'ha' can 0e changed 8hich in 'urn enhances 'he life of 'he clien'.
13,
7ere remem0ering 'he former s'eps 8ill 0e of use. PersonaliAing 'he pro0lem and 'he goal go
'oge'her. The pro0lem has 0een changed in'o a goal. The defici' you found as a pro0lem is con+er'ed
in'o an aim or goal. Therefore mere 8ishing a0ou' change is no' enough. -' has 'o 0e sys'ema'ically
8orked ou' for 8hich firs' and foremos' you shall se' 'he goal and go a0ou' using cer'ain s'ra'egies 'o
reach 'he goal.
.. LET THE CLIENT ACCEPT GRACEFULL: 9HAT CANNOT 5E CHANGED
7uman si'ua'ions are no' al8ays rosy nor can all 'he pro0lems 0e sol+ed. Change is our aim in
counselling. Jou should 0y all means s'ri+e for i' 0y making use of e+ery me'hod you kno8 of and
s'raining e+ery ner+e of yours. There are si'ua'ions 'ha' canno' 0e changedK 'here are o'her persons
in+ol+ed in 'he pro0lem of 'he clien' and 'hey canno' 0e changed. @ne should no' nai+ely gi+e up 'he
hope of change 0u' if af'er a 'horough in+es'iga'ion i' 0ecomes clear 0o'h 'o 'he counsellor and 'o 'he
counsellee 'ha' no change is possi0le< 'he ne/' 0es' possi0le course of ac'ion is 'o accep' 'he si'ua'ion.
@ur socie'y is madly success-orien'ed. $uccess seems 'o 0e 'he cri'erion of a good life. ?e
need 'o kno8 'ha' failure is as effec'i+e as success. 7a+e 8e no' learned a num0er of lessons for life
personally 0ecause of failuresL The people 8ho canno' accep' failures are mo+ing 'o8ards ca'as'rophe.
Jou can ne+er find a single life 8i'hou' any failure. The more 'he failure 'he 0e''er i' seems in some
cases. $ome of 'he ou's'anding people in his'ory ha+e me' 8i'h innumera0le failures. A0raham "incoln
in 'he Fni'ed $'a'es seemed 'o ha+e suffered '8el+e maEor failures in his life 0efore he could 0e elec'ed
'he presiden' of his coun'ry. -f he had gi+en up 8i'h 'he firs' fe8 failures he 8ould no' ha+e 0ecome 'he
presiden' of America. To 'ake failure as par' of oneMs life is 8isdom.
People do accep' failures 0u' ho8 many do i' gracefully is ques'iona0le. ?ha' you resis' usually
hur's you mos'. -f you do no' resis'< you suffer less. A lady had a fe8 spon'aneous a0or'ions af'er
8hich i' 8as diagnosed 'ha' she 8ould no' ha+e children. Tha' 8as a 'remendous 0lo8 'o 'he lady.
7ere no'hing could 0e done 'o change 'he si'ua'ion of her 0arrenness since i' is medically impossi0le.
?ha' is lef' is 'o accep' 'he fac' of her 0arrenness and do i' gracefully. -f she 8ere 'o keep sulking< her
sulking hur's her more 'han 'he 0arrenness. !o' 'ha' she 8ill no' sulk a' all< 8ha' 8e mean is 'ha' a life
full of sulking is no' going 'o help her any8ay.
-n my counselling prac'ice an insigh' - found so useful is 'his< - 8ould say. )or - ha+e 0een
mee'ing si'ua'ions 8here hardly any'hing is possi0le. -n 'hose circums'ances< - endea+our 'o help 'he
clien' 8i'h 'he a''i'ude of accep'ing an impossi0le si'ua'ion 8i'h grace.
1. PREPARE THE CLIENT FOR THE 9ORST
-' is good 'o change 'he 'hings 'ha' can 0e changed and i' is e+en 0e''er 'o make 'he clien's
accep' 'he ine+i'a0le gracefully and i' 8ould 0e 'he 0es' if you could prepare 'he clien' for 'he 8ors'.
People in fan'asy imagine all sor's of failures and in an'icipa'ion ge' 'rou0led a0ou' 'hem. They are in
general afraid of 'he fu'ure failure or so. ?hen you name your fear 'ha' fear disappears. ?ha' is
unapprised looms large and frigh'ens 'he indi+idual 0u' 'he momen' you name 'he fear i' loses i's grip
on 'he indi+idual.
-' is praise8or'hy if you could lead 'he clien's in fan'asy 'o see all 'he 8ors' consequences and
resul's 8hich are no' pleasing. Make 'he clien' diges' 'hose nega'i+e resul's in fan'asy for i' is only
fan'asy 'ha' 'rou0les 'he clien' more 'han ac'uali'y. -f 0y chance 'he clien' is prepared 'o accep' 'he
8ors' 'ype of resul's< in reali'y 8hen 'he ac'uali'y comes< i' 8ill no' 0e 'ha' serious as 'he clien'
imagined and 'he si'ua'ion could 0e me' serenely.
13.
Margare'< from a respec'a0le family< eloped 8i'h a 0oy she lo+ed. Af'er a fe8 days she 8an'ed
'o re'urn 'o her family and 8as afraid of 8ha' her fa'her 8ould do 8i'h her. ?hen she had e/pressed all
her fears - asked her in graded dose 8ha' is 'he 8ors' 'ha' can happen 'o her in her family on her re'urn.
A' 'he mos' 'hey may no' accep' her and dri+e her a8ay. 4u' defini'ely 'hey 8ill no' use physical
+iolence< she said. Then slo8ly - prepared her 'o accep' 0eing dri+en a8ay from home and 0ea'en up
and e+en +olun'eering 'o go and s'ar' her life ane8 else8here. Af'er 'ha' - called 'he fa'her and made
him mee' his daugh'er. -' 8as a happy reunion. &+en if 'he si'ua'ion 8ere 'o 'urn ou' 'o 0e sour as she
imagined she 8ould ha+e faced i' 0ra+ely for she 8as already prepared for 'he 8ors'.
&+en 8hen you yourself are 'hrea'ened 0y fu'ure fears< make use of your paren' ego s'a'e and
say some soo'hing 8ords and 'hus calm do8n your fear. Jou could also encourage yourself ge''ing
ready 'o mee' a si'ua'ion e+en if i' 8ere 'o 0e ad+erse. Preparing 'he clien' 'o mee' 'he 8ors' is a 8ay of
safeguarding 'he men'al heal'h of 'he clien'.
Preparing 'he clien' for 'he 8ors' is a kind of desensi'iAing 0eha+iour 'herapy. ?hen you ha+e
0ecome callous 'o +ery ad+erse si'ua'ions in fan'asy< 'hen minor se'0acks may no' upse' you much. Jou
8ill find i' easy 'o mee' challenges 'ha' are sufficien'ly serious since you ha+e already 0een prepared 'o
face 'he 8ors' si'ua'ions.
/. PREPARE THE CLIENT TO 5E HAPP:
Accep'ing 'he ine+i'a0le and e+en ge''ing ready for 'he 8ors' possi0le disas'er are all useless
unless a' 'he same 'ime you prepare 'he clien' 'o 0e happy. 7appiness is 'he ul'ima'e aim. There may 0e
change or no change in counselling 0u' 8ha' ul'ima'ely ma''ers is 8he'her 'he clien' is happy. &+en in
'he 8ors' si'ua'ion if heHshe has learned 'o 0e happy 'ha' is a grand success as far as counselling is
concerned.
There is an irra'ional 0elief among us 'ha' feelings are caused 0y o'hers and si'ua'ions. )eelings
are our o8n produc's and 8e only ha+e con'rol o+er 'hem 8i'hou' realiAing i'. !o0ody and no si'ua'ion
can cause feelings in us. -f feelings are caused 0y forces ou'side oneself< 'o 0e happy is no' 8i'hin 'he
con'rol of 'he clien' 8hereas since feelings are caused 0y 'he clien' i' is possi0le 'o crea'e 8ha'e+er
feeling one 8an's. )irs' and foremos' one should 0e a8are of 'he fac' 'ha' feeling can 0e caused 0y
oneself only and secondly 8i'h some 'raining and effor' one may ge' 'he feeling one 8an's. -f some
clien's erroneously 0elie+e 'ha' 0y looking sad one can recei+e sympa'hy and lo+e< 'he clien's 8ill like
'o perpe'ua'e 'he feeling of sadness unconsciously. This is a psychological game pa''ern and i' is no'
heal'hy ei'her. 7appiness 'ha' is an in'ernal sign of men'al heal'h should 0e 'he reason 8hy people 'ake
'o counselling. 7ence preparing 'he clien's 'o 0e happy is 8or'h 'he 'rou0le< and 8or'hy of 'he 'ask as
counsellors.
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8;
A. DEFINING THE GOAL
This chap'er deals +ery par'icularly 8i'h 'he goal. The clari'y and a''rac'i+eness of 'he goal 8ill
enhance i's achie+emen'. "e' me spell i' ou' in de'ail. :us' as you defined 'he pro0lem or 'he clien' did
i'< and made i' easy 'o deal 8i'h i'< you need 'o define 'he goal in order 'o achie+e i' easily. -' is ideally
done 0y 'he counsellee and 'he counsellor can 0e of grea' help. @r 0o'h of 'hem do i' in such a 8ay 'ha'
'he goal is of 'he clien'.
8. DA:7DREAM THE GOAL
137
Day-dreaming is psychologically a heal'hy sign. People 8ho ha+e achie+ed some'hing
8or'h8hile in his'ory and in personal life are 'he ones 8ho dream' a lo' 8hile 'hey 8ere a8ake. -n fac'
8ha' you dream 8hen you are a8ake< is sure 'o come up in your sleep also. Fnless i' in'erferes 8i'h 'he
normal day-'o-day func'ioning< daydreaming is +ery useful and heal'hy. - 8ould e+en propose 'ha' 8e
se' apar' some'ime during 'he day< 'o daydreaming. Daydreaming in a s'upendous 8ay mo'i+a'es 'he
indi+iduals. Daydreamers usually ha+e some'hing 'o achie+e in fu'ure and 'ha' is 'heir goal.
Take for e/ample all your achie+emen's. ?hich of 'he achie+emen's came 'o you 0y i'selfL
Prac'ically no'hingK you had +isualiAed some'hing and dream' of i' and la'er achie+ed i' 0y hard 8ork.
There are +ery fe8 'hings 'ha' come Eus' 0y 'hemsel+es P 0y chance. -n day dreaming 'he goal is ra'her
+ague 8i'hou' de'ails. The goals are like clouds cons'an'ly changing and 'aking differen' shapes. -'
could 0e also +ery haAy and +ague. The meri' of daydreaming is 'ha' i' pulls you up like an incen'i+e
and mo'i+a'es you 'o under'ake any hardship 'o a''ain 8ha' you dream since i' is +ery a''rac'i+e.
.. PO9ER OF POSSI5ILITIES
There are a lo' of po'en'ials in possi0ili'ies. As 'he name sugges's< possi0ili'ies are no'
ac'uali'ies. Ac'uali'ies are real 8hereas possi0ili'ies are po'encies. The more you daydream of 'he
possi0ili'ies 'he 0e''er i' is. The one 8ho does no' ha+e many possi0ili'ies is a limi'ed person and 'ha'
i'self is a pro0lem. The people 8ho ha+e a num0er of possi0ili'ies ha+e fe8er pro0lems 'han 'he people
8ho ha+e hardly any. Possi0ili'ies are differen' a+enues open 'o 'he clien' and no' all of 'hem are useful
and prac'ical. And ha+ing many possi0ili'ies is richness. A' 'imes e+en +ery in'elligen' and efficien'
indi+iduals seem 'o ha+e only one possi0ili'y of ac'i+i'y. -n 'heir life'ime 'hey ha+e failed 'o de+elop
o'her possi0ili'ies e+en 'hough 'hey ha+e e+ery 'alen' and s'reng'h 'o pursue ano'her ac'i+i'y equally
good as 'he one 'hey curren'ly hold. :us' 0ecause 'hey ha+e no o'her op'ion or possi0ili'y in mind 'hey
'enaciously cling 'o 'he one 'hey opera'e.
Ac'ually clien's are clien's Eus' 0ecause 'hey are in a ru' 8i'hou' any o'her a+enues. -f only 'hey
could in+en' some o'her a+enues 'hey 0ecome heal'hier. $o le' daydreaming e/'end 'o numerous
possi0ili'ies.
117
1. DEFINE THE GOAL
8-4
9oals 'ha' are daydream' and e/'ended in'o many possi0ili'ies may no' ha+e any shape. The
goals are 'o 0e shaped< in order 'o make 'hem 8ork for you.
8+ OUTCOME7ORIENTED GOALS
9oals are no' for ac'i+i'ies. @ne may do a lo' of ac'i+i'ies 8hich are useless in 'hemsel+es. -f
ac'i+i'ies are under'aken i' is 8i'h a +ie8 'o ge' an ou'come. Ask 'he ques'ion 8ha' one in'ends 'o
achie+e 0y such and such ac'i+i'ies. @ne s'uden' says 'ha' he 8ill s'udy 0iology 8ell so 'ha' he can ge'
an admission in'o a medical college. $'udying 0iology 8ell is an ac'i+i'y and i' is 'o o0'ain an
admission in 'he medical college< 8hich is an ou'come.
.+ SPECIFIC GOALS
$ome'imes goals may 0e merely a declara'ion of in'en'. A clerk in 'he office says 'ha' he 8an's
'o impro+e his lo' 8hich for him is a goal. -' may 0e a goal 0u' no' specific. -' is only a declara'ion of
132
his in'en'ion. 7e should spell ou' concre'ely 8ha' 'his impro+ing his lo' is. -f he 8ere 'o say 'ha' he
8ould 8ork o+er'ime and earn more money and 'hus impro+e his lo'< i' is a specific goal.
1+ MEASURA5LE GOALS
The goal should 0e spel' ou' in 'erms of quan'i'y. -f 'he clerk in 'he pre+ious e/ample 8ere 'o
say 'ha' 8i'hin a mon'h he 8ould 8ork 1. hours o+er'ime i' is a measura0le goal. A' 'he end of 'he
mon'h one can check if he has 8orked 1. hours o+er'ime.
/+ GOALS 9ITH IMPACT
The goals 'ha' are chosen should make a su0s'an'ial change or impac' in 'he life of 'he clien'.
According 'o 'he research 8ha' emerges is 'ha' if 'he goals are sufficien'ly hard i' is more mo'i+a'ing
'han 'he easier ones. The goals should 0e such 'ha' 8hen 'hey are a''ained 'hey crea'e an impression for
'he 0e''er. -f an alcoholic dependen' decides 'o s'op drinking i' is going 'o ha+e a 'remendous impac' on
his life and family 8i'h i's many ramifica'ions.
;+ GOALS 9ITH NO O5STACLES
?i'h all good8ill and o'her 'hings 0eing equal< a goal may no' 0e achie+ed for reasons of
en+ironmen'al o0s'acles. )or e/ample< a man 8i'h financial difficul'ies 8an'ed 'o s'ar' an &nglish
medium school as a 8ay of earning his li+ing in a place 8here 'here had already 0een a num0er of
&nglish medium schools and 8here he 8ould ne+er 0e a0le 'o compe'e 8i'h o'her 8ell repu'ed schools
'ha' 8ere already e/is'ing.
-+ GOALS UNDER CONTROL
The goals 'ha' are defined should 0e 8i'hin 'he con'rol of 'he clien' for achie+emen'. -n
in'erpersonal rela'ionship< for e/ample< 'he clien' may no' ha+e con'rol o+er 'he o'her person 0u' heHshe
has con'rol o+er himHherself and hisHher reac'ions. Therefore< 8hile se''ing 'he goals< 'he counsellor
sees 'ha' 'he clien' se's a goal 'ha' is under hisHher con'rol. A clerk 8orking as an accoun'an' in a
company sees a lo' of corrup' prac'ices like cooking up 'he accoun's. 7e canno' 'ake a decision 'o
change 'he li+es of 'hose 8orking 8i'h him. All 'ha' he can do is 'o make a goal of changing himself or
his reac'ing 'o 'he une'hical 'hings 'ha' go on since 'ha' is 8i'hin his con'rol.
<+ ECONOMIC GOALS
The principle here one needs 'o keep in mind is 8ha' can 0e achie+ed 8i'h less energy< 'ime< and
cos' need no' 0e achie+ed 8i'h an e/pendi'ure of a lo' of energy< 'ime and cos'. Clien's need no'
squander 'heir energies on ou'comes. Make 'he clien' 0udge' 'heir resources. A person of high
in'ellec'ual cali0re 8i'h a school final qualifica'ion 8an'ed 'o do M.A. his'ory 'hrough open uni+ersi'y
sys'em. 7e could ei'her spend fi+e years going 'hrough 'hree years of 0achelorMs degree and '8o years
of mas'erBs degree or he could s'raigh' a8ay go for '8o years of mas'erBs degree since he has 'he
in'ellec'ual cali0re needed. Therefore assis' 'he clien' 'o achie+e 'he goal 8i'h less energy and 'ime. -n
'he same 8ay< 'herapies should no' 0e 'oo cum0ersome for 'he clien'. &ffec'ing grea'er change 8i'h less
'ime is ideal unless you Eudge i' oppor'une 'o crea'e a 0ig ceremony in order 'o impress 'he clien' and
'hus 0ring a0ou' a 8or'h8hile change.
133
4+ GOALS CONSONANT 9ITH THEIR 6ALUES
5alues play a +i'al role in 'he life of people. -f 'he goals are se' agains' 'he cherished +alues of
'he clien's 'hey migh' land up feeling guil'y. A lady already 8i'h many children< 8i'h her hus0and
unemployed< is again pregnan' and she comes 'o you for counselling 'o kno8 if she could go for
a0or'ion. -f you 8ere 'o urge her 'o go for an a0or'ion 8hich is agains' her religious +alues you may no'
0e doing 'he righ' 'hing. Jou can help clien's clarify 'heir +alues and no' in'erfere 8i'h 'heir +alues. 4y
'he 0y< i' is also 'rue 'ha' kno8ing your e'hical 0ackground< clien's come 'o you for counselling. )or
e/ample< if you are a pro-life person you 8ill no' suppor' pro-choice ac'i+i'ies. 7ere you are 0eing
fai'hful 'o your o8n +alue sys'ems. As much as you are fai'hful 'o your o8n +alue sys'em< 'he clien'
has 'he righ' 'o s'ick 'o hisHher +alue sys'em. -n any case< you ha+e 'he du'y 'o clarify 'he +alue sys'ems
of 'he clien'.
2+ GOALS 9ITH A TIME7FRAME
9oals should no' 0e kep' hanging in 'he air as 'hough 'hey can 0e achie+ed 8hen i' is possi0le.
-f you do no' fi/ up a 'ime-frame for 'he accomplishmen' of 'he goals i' is likely 'ha' 'he clien' 8ill
pos'pone 'he e/ecu'ion of 'he s'ra'egies 'o achie+e 'he goals. A sick person 8ho had 0een un8illing 'o
go 'o 'he doc'or decides 'o consul' a doc'or. Jou could ask himHher 8hen or 0efore 8ha' 'ime heHshe
8ill ha+e me' 'he doc'or. This process se's a 'ime-frame.
5. KEEPING THE GOAL SMART
7ere 'he 8ord $MA=T is an acronym 8hich is made up of 'he firs' le''ers of 'he follo8ing
8ords: $ % for $pecific< M % for Measura0le< A % for Achie+a0le< = % for =ealis'ic< and T % for Tangi0le.
The goal should ha+e 'he charac'eris'ics deno'ed 0y 'he acronym. "e' us consider 'hem in de'ail.
113
-
am pu''ing in a nu'shell 8ha' 8e ha+e hi'her'o seen in 'his chap'er. )or 'his - make use of an acronym
8hich 8as 'auch' 'o me 8hen - learned counselling.
8. SPECIFIC GOAL
)irs' and foremos' 'he goal 'he clien' en+isages should 0e specific. Take for e/ample a fa'her
8ho does no' spend much of his 'ime 8i'h his children. @f course< he is a +ery lo+ing fa'her< 0u'
0ecause of his manifold social 8orks he is no' presen' 8i'h his children e+en on holidays. ?hen he
comes home la'e a' nigh'< 'he children are already in 0ed< and in 'he early morning he s'ar's off for his
8ork. -n 'his si'ua'ion 'he fa'her spells ou' 'he goal as V- 8ill spend some 'ime 8i'h my children.W
Cer'ainly i' sho8s 'he good 8ill of 'he fa'her and 'here is no dou0' a0ou' i'. -n all pro0a0ili'y< he 8ill
con'inue 'o 0eha+e in 'he 8ay he has 0een doing. The goal had no' 0een specific and 'he goal se''ing
8ould 0e a failure for lack of 0eing specific. -f he 8ere 'o say for e/ample: V- 8ill spend e+ening 'ime
8i'h my children< helping 'hem 'o do 'heir home 8ork and recrea'ing 8i'h 'hem<W 'hen 'he goal is +ery
specific. ?ha' 8e are aiming a' here is concre'eness in i's differen' aspec's.
.. MEASURA5LE GOAL
-n 'he foregoing e/ample of 'he fa'her 0eing 8i'h 'he children in 'he e+ening 'ime< 'hough i' is
specific< i' has a loophole. The fa'her may remain for 'en 'o fif'een minu'es 'o fulfil his o0liga'ion
'o8ards 'he goal and console himself saying 'ha' he has done his 0es'. The goal should 0e measura0le<
as for e/ample< if 'he fa'her 8ere 'o say 'ha' he 8ould spend four hours in 'he e+ening 8i'h 'he children
#66
and 'ha' 'oo from 17.66 hrs 'o #1. 66 hrs< 'hen 'he goal is +ery specific and measura0le. 7e kno8s for
cer'ain< 'he e/ac' 'ime and from 8hen 'o 8hen he 8ill 0e a+aila0le 'o his children.
1. ACHIE6A5LE GOAL
A goal could 0e specific and measura0le and ye' i' may no' 0e possi0le 'o achie+e i'. The ne/'
charac'eris'ic of a goal is 'o keep i' achie+a0le. 9i+en 'he con'e/' and 'he si'ua'ion 8e are only pro0ing
'o see if 'he goal se' so specific and measura0le 8ill 0e achie+a0le. 7umanly speaking and speaking in
'erms of 'he resources and good 8ill of 'he clien' concre'ely i' is 'o 0e seen 8he'her 'he goal heHshe se's
is achie+a0le 0y himHher. The goal of 'he fa'her of our e/ample< in spi'e of i's 0eing specific< and
measura0le may no' 0e achie+a0le. A person 8ho had 0een so 0usy 8i'h all sor's of social 8orks is no'
likely 'o si' for four hours con'inuously 8i'h his children. Therefore< 8e could raise 'he ques'ion 'o 'he
clien' asking him if i' 8ould 0e possi0le for him 'o spend four hours in 'he e+ening e+ery day. Perhaps
'o s'ar' 8i'h< 'he num0er of hours could 0e reduced< for if a clien' se's a0ou' fulfilling his goal and finds
in 'he mid8ay 'ha' i' is no' possi0le for him< 'hen he is likely 'o ge' frus'ra'ed and gi+e up 'he 8hole
process. To a+oid such pi'falls 8e fore8arn 'he clien' 0y raising ques'ions 8i'h regard 'o 'he
achie+a0leness of 'he goal in concre'e.
/. REALISTIC GOAL
9oal needs 'o 0e specific< measura0le and achie+a0le 0u' also realis'ic. -n !eurolinguis'ic
programming i' is called )u'ure Pacing. 4o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee consider 8he'her 'he
decision 'aken fi's in'o 'he con'e/' of 'he counsellee< especially in 'he fu'ure and in 8ha' 8ay i' is
appropria'e.
7ere - remem0er an inciden' a0ou' asser'i+eness 'raining as an e/ample. A person 8ho is no'
a0le 'o +oice hisHher opinion and demand hisHher righ's is gi+en cer'ain e/ercises< and perhaps 'old
ho8 'o 0e asser'i+e in fu'ure 8i'h o'hers. - happen 'o kno8 one such person 8ho af'er 'he
asser'i+eness 'raining from a 8ell kno8n counsellor 8as going a0ou' asser'ing e+ery8here and 8i'h
e+ery0ody. $ince 'he person 8as in 'he helping profession< a num0er of people used 'o come 'o him
and he s'ar'ed 0eing asser'i+e 8i'h e+ery one of 'hem and 'o his superiors of e+ery rank and 'he like<
and 'he ne' resul' 8as 'ha' he 8as ha'ed 0y one and all. Perhaps 'he counsellor did no' reframe 'he
clien'< specifying 8here he has 'o 0e asser'i+e or 8i'h 8hom he has 'o 0e asser'i+e. @ne has 'o 0e
+ery careful 0eing asser'i+e 8i'h a superior 8hose disfa+our migh' ad+ersely affec' oneBs fu'ure< and
0eing asser'i+e 'o a sick and 8eak person is no' 0ecoming< and 0eing asser'i+e 8i'h 'he friends and
companions 8ill make one lonely and friendless. Therefore 'he second s'a'e 8ould 0e 8orse 'han 'he
firs' s'a'e and 'ha' is no' +ery much desira0le for a clien'.
=ealis'ic also 8ill mean 'ha' 'he goals should no' 0e ei'her 'oo high or 'oo lo8. -f 'he g'oals are
'oo high 'hey 8ill 0read failure and if 'hey are 'oo lo8 'hey 8ill no' sufficien'ly mo'i+a'e 'he clien's.
This is 8ha' 8e mean 0y 'he 8ord Mrealis'ic.B )or e/ample< a s'uden' of middle school canno' 'ake 'he
goal as s'udying 'ill 1# midnigh' as his goal nor should a college s'uden' 0e con'en' 'aking as his goal 'o
s'udy only an hour in 'he e+ening. )or 'he middle school s'uden' 'he goal is 'oo high and for 'he college
s'uden' i' is 'oo lo8.
?hile specifying 'he goal 'he counsellor could raise such ques'ions as 'hose 'ha' 8ould look in'o
'he fu'ure con'e/' in 8hich 'he ne8 0eha+iour 8ill 0e 'ried ou'. And if ad+erse reac'ions are
for'hcoming 'hen one could fore8arn 'he clien' of 'he consequences and if in spi'e of your 8arning
heHshe persis's in doing i'< 'hen you 0e''er respec' hisHher decision. 4u' no' 'o ha+e facili'a'ed 'he
clien' 'o fu'ure pacing 8ill 0e failing in oneBs responsi0ili'y as a counsellor. A' 'imes i' may happen
#61
'ha' 'he clien' has 'o change hisHher goal al'oge'her since i' may no' 0e realis'ic. )or e/ample< if a
girl from an -ndian family 8earing 'he 'radi'ional -ndian dress decides 'o 8ear Eeans< 'hen 'he 8hole
family migh' reEec' her. Therefore< 'he goals se' should 0e realis'ic in 'he sense 'ha' i' should fi' in'o
'he con'e/' of 'he clien'.
;. TANGI5LE GOAL
7ere 0eing 'angi0le refers 'o 'he sa'isfac'ion 'he clien' deri+es from 'he achie+emen' of 'he goal.
The clien' should ha+e 'he ma/imum sa'isfac'ion in a''aining 'he goal. -n !"P i' is clearly 0rough' ou'.
The desired s'a'e e+en in fan'asy should 0e so a''rac'i+e 'ha' 'he clien' is compelled 'o achie+e i'.
7eHshe canno' 0u' achie+e i'. The counsellor should see a glo8 on hisHher face< and hisHher non-+er0al
0eha+iour should say an unequi+ocal CyesB 'o 'he decision heHshe is going 'o make. -f 'he goal is no'
a''rac'i+e and does no' gi+e enough sa'isfac'ion< 'he clien' 8ill no' ha+e 'he necessary mo'i+a'ion 'o
pursue 'he goal. And 8i'hou' mo'i+a'ion< no one achie+es any'hing< for in'eres' and mo'i+a'ion play a
+i'al role in our human 0eha+iour< 'ha' 8e canno' 'hink of a goal 0eing achie+ed 8i'hou' 0eing so
'angi0le.
?hen 'he goal is achie+ed 'he clien' should ha+e 'he ma/imum sa'isfac'ion ou' of 'he
achie+emen' of 'he goal. A person 8ho desires a decen' Eo0 'o earn more money ge''ing a firs' class in
Ar's may no' 0e deligh'ed 0ecause in +ie8 of 'he Eo0 oppor'uni'ies hisHher securing a firs' class in Ar's is
of no use for himHher 8hereas if heHshe 8ere 'o in+es' hisHher resources in compu'er science 'ha' 8ould
ge' a Eo0 immedia'ely 8hich 8ould 0e +ery sa'isfying 'o himHher.
C. OPERATIONALI=ING THE GOAL
5REAK THE GOAL INTO SMALLER UNITS AND LET THE CLIENT PROCEED STEP 5:
STEP
?hile 8orking 'o8ards 'he goal 0y means of s'ra'egies 'he clien' may no' achie+e 'he goal
al'oge'her 0ecause 'he goal may 0e 'oo complica'ed and may require 'ime on accoun' of i's su0-goals. A
professor of mine 8hile 'eaching !euro-"inguis'ic Programming said 'ha' one could really ea' a 0icycle.
?e 8ere 8ondering ho8 i' is possi0le. 7e con'inued 'o 'ell us 8ho 8ere 0e8ildered: )irs' 0reak 'he
0icycle in'o pieces< 'hen po8der 'hem in'o fine dus'K e+eryday 'ake a pinch of dus' and e+en'ually you
8ould ha+e s8allo8ed a 0icycleO This 8as 'o dri+e home 'he idea 'ha' any Mimpossi0leM 'hing can 0e
achie+ed 8hen 8e 0reak i' in'o small uni's and s'ar' 8orking on a small uni' a' a 'ime. ?ha' is
o+er8helming for 'he clien' is 'he siAe of 'he pro0lem and 'he grea'ness of 'he solu'ion. Jou do no' ha+e
'o look a' 'he solu'ion a' a 'ime for sol+ing< you need 'o 'ake a 0i' of i' and 8ork a' i' and 'hus 0y and 0y
you 8ill ha+e 8orked ou' 'he 8hole pro0lem and reached a solu'ion.
A man had a num0er of a0usi+e 8ays of 8as'ing his life. 7e 8as counselled and as a resul' he
8an'ed 'o amend his life 0u' 'he goal 8as 'oo 0ig for him. 7e 8as using drugs< smoking hea+ily<
drinking< 8omanising< s'ealing< and lying. 7e 8as so e/aspera'ed and did no' kno8 8here 'o s'ar'< for
'he goal looked gigan'ic and enormous. The counsellor facili'a'ed him firs' 'o 0e 'ru'hful 'o s'ar' 8i'h.
7e a''emp'ed 8i'h a fe8 failures and la'er he 8as speaking 'he 'ru'h. Then he ga+e up smoking< 'he
drug and 'hus one 0y one and finally he could o+ercome all his 0ad ha0i's. This is opera'ionaliAing 'he
goal. There is no'hing like success 0reeding success. $ince 'he clien' 8as happy a0ou' his success in
speaking 'he 'ru'h he could go for8ard 'o 8ork on his o'her 0ad ha0i's.
The ad+an'ages of opera'ionaliAing 'he goal:
#6#
;1> The demand 'ha' is placed on 'he clien' in achie+ing 'he goal is spaced ou' and heHshe does no'
realiAe 'he 0urden of i'.
;#> $eeing 'he success of 'he achie+emen' of a small su0-goal< 'he clien' is encouraged 'o go
for8ard.
;*> 7eHshe migh' also ge' 'he applause of 'he counsellor for hisHher success 8hich in 'urn 8ill 8ork
as a reinforcer. Thus opera'ionaliAing 'he goal 0enefi's 'he clien'.
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8-
A. MAKING CONTACTS
Con'rac's 0ind ac'ions 8i'h responsi0ili'y. Con'rac's are agreemen's on a gi+en issue 8i'h 'he
'erms specified 0e'8een '8o persons or par'ies. - ha+e mos'ly found a lo' of difference 0e'8een persons
8ho made con'rac's 8i'h 'he counsellor and 'hose 8ho did no' make 'hem. -f 'he clien' makes a
con'rac' heHshe is compelled 'o honour hisHher o8n 8ord. 7onouring 'he con'rac' is a sign of oneMs
personal in'egri'y and s'reng'h of charac'er. Jou may come across persons 8ho make a lo' of promises
0u' ne+er keep up 8hich means 'ha' 'hey are suffering from charac'er defec'. A clien' 8ho keeps up
hisHher con'rac's 0ecomes 8or'hy in hisHher o8n eyes. The con'rac's made 0ecome self-mo'i+a'ing
#6*
fac'ors 8orking in'ernally in 'he clien'. Thus 'he clien' pu's in-0uil' mo'i+a'ing fac'or in hisHher sys'em
8hich au'oma'ically regula'es hisHher ac'i+i'ies< sus'ains 'hem 8hen necessary and leads 'he clien' 'o 'he
comple'e successful achie+emen' of 'he goal. Therefore< 'he counsellors are encouraged 'o s'imula'e 'he
clien's 'o make con'rac's.
A clien' had poor pronuncia'ion in pu0lic reading. -n counselling he decided 'o ha+e half an
hour of reading prac'ice from Monday 'o )riday a' 17.66 hrs under 'he super+ision of an e/per' for one
mon'h. )rom 'he counselling par'< 'he decision made is e/cellen' according 'o 'he 8ell-defined process
of se''ing a goal. -n 'his con'e/' 'he counsellor s'imula'ed him 'o make a con'rac'.
Counsellor: 7o8 am - 'o kno8 'ha' you are ha+ing a reading prac'ice e+erydayL
Counsellee: - shall phone you e+ery 8eekend 'o le' you kno8 ho8 - ha+e done.
The repor'ing need no' necessarily 0e 'o 'he counsellorK i' could 0e also 'o someone else. All
'ha' is needed is 'o check if 'he decision is carried ou' according 'o 'he 8ay i' 8as en+isaged. 7ere i' is
good 'ha' someone o'her 'han 'he clien' is in+ol+ed 'o make 'he checking. -n case 'he na'ure of 'he
decision is such and 'he possi0ili'y of repor'ing 'o 'he counsellor or 'o ano'her indi+idual is no' possi0le<
'hen 8e can en'rus' 'he 8hole checking 'o 'he counsellee himHherself.
This is a model of con'rac'. A con'rac' is usually a concre'iAa'ion of 'he e/ecu'ion of 'he
decision ;goal> 'he clien' makes.
?i'h 'his 'he counselling in'erac'ion of 'he clien' 8i'h 'he counsellor formally ge's o+er. ?i'h
'he hope of e/ecu'ing 'he s'ra'egies 'he clien' mo+es ou' in'o 'he real field 'o e/perimen' 8ha' heHshe
has gained 0y 8ay of insigh' and 'he s'ra'egies heHshe has decided upon. The clien' 8ill go and
e/perimen' for himHherself and come 0ack once in a 8ay 'o e+alua'e 'he implemen'a'ion of 'he ac'ion
plans. The counsellor and 'he counsellee 8ill en'er in'o 'he ne/' s'age only af'er some'ime 'ha' is af'er
implemen'ing 'he s'ra'egies 'o see ho8 far 'hings are 8orking for 'he clien' and 8ha' needs 'o 0e done
s'ill fur'her and if 'here is any modifica'ion 'ha' is needed 'o make 'he s'ra'egies 8orka0le. )or 'he 'ime
0eing 'he clien' says good-0ye and goes 'o hisHher life si'ua'ion and 'he counsellor hopes 'ha' e+ery'hing
8ill 0e 8orking 8ell 8i'h 'he clien'.
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5. E6ALUATING
&+alua'ing is an assessmen' made on 'he performance of 'he counsellee. The clien' 8ould ha+e
lef' you en'husias'ically 8i'h 'he ne8ly-formed a''i'ude and 8i'h cer'ain s'ra'egies 'o 8ork 'o8ards
hisHher goal and in fac' heHshe 8ould ha+e 'ried 'hem ou' in hisHher life si'ua'ion. Af'er a lapse of 'ime
during 8hich 'he clien' 8ould ha+e gone ahead a' leas' for some'ime 8i'h hisHher ac'ion plan< heHshe
comes 0ack 'o 'he counsellor 'o re+ie8 'he performance so far done.
-n some coun'ries< normally clien's do no' come 'o 'he counsellor for an e+alua'ion. They are
one-'ime clien's 8ho come for a specific pro0lem< 8ork i' ou' and ge' a8ay. Tha' is 'he end of 'heir
s'ory. - ha+e also 8i'nessed in some coun'ries 8here clien's pursue counselling on 'he a+erage for 16
years 8i'h 'he same counsellor. -n 'his case< 'here is 'he possi0ili'y of ha+ing many e+alua'ions.
Therefore< 'he prac'ice of counselling e+alua'ion +aries from cul'ure 'o cul'ure depending upon 'he need
of 'he clien's. -n some cul'ures< 'he 8hole socie'y is helpful in assis'ing someone in crisis 'o ha+e a
ca'harsis or a' leas' 'o lend a lis'ening ear. Clien's can e+en speak 'heir pro0lems 'o any rela'i+e
s'rangers. -n some o'her cul'ures one needs 'o find ou' a person 8ho 8ill lis'en 'o you 0y paying. Thus
#6,
- also see a cul'ural difference 8hich necessi'a'esHfa+ours periodical e+alua'ion in some cul'ures and no'
in o'her cul'ures.
8. ONGOING E6ALUATION
Ac'ually e+alua'ion only a' 'he end is 'oo la'e. $o much learning 8ould ha+e 0een los' if
periodical ongoing e+alua'ion had no' 0een 'here during 'he counselling process i'self. To 'hink of i'
only a' 'he end is profi'ing only less from 'he counselling in'er+ie8. ?hile 'aking classes - keep asking
'he par'icipan's 'o 'ake s'ock of 8ha' 'hey had learned up 'o 'ha' 'ime. -f you lea+e 'hem 'o 'hemsel+es
e+en 'hough 'hey 8ould ha+e learned much during a shor' period i' 8ould no' appear 'o 'hem 'ha' 'hey
ha+e learned some'hing 8or'h8hile. A' leas' 'o make 'hem realiAe 'ha' 'hey had 0een learning qui'e a
0i' i' is necessary 'o make periodical ongoing e+alua'ions. During 'he e+alua'ion 'he clien' no' only
e+alua'es hisHher o8n performance 0u' also 'he helping process of 'he counsellor himHherself so 'ha' if
any'hing should 0e changed ei'her 0y 'he counsellor or 0y 'he counsellee i' could 0e under'aken a' 'he
earlies' ins'ead of carrying on 'he mis'ake 'ill 'he end and lamen' o+er 'he 8as'e of 'ime and
oppor'uni'ies.
17#
.. CLIENT7CENTRED E6ALUATION
&+alua'ion is primarily mean' 'o help 'he clien'. -' does no' mean 'ha' 'he counsellor himHherself
8ill no' profi' from such a 0eneficial 8ork 0u' 'he main in'eres' is 'he clien'. &+alua'ion ei'her ongoing
or a' 'he end is mean' 'o see if 'he clien' really profi's from 'he counselling process. -' is for helping 'he
clien' and during 'he e+alua'ion 'he counsellor checks if 'he process really helps 'he clien'< if hisHher life
is su0s'an'ially changed< and if i' is a learning process for himHher. $ide 0y side 'he counsellor 'oo
learns a0ou' 'he efficiency of hisHher helping process.
17*
1. SELF7E6ALUATIOND
There are many ad+an'ages in ha+ing an e+alua'ion 8i'h 'he clien'. $ome clien's na'urally 'urn
'o 'he counsellor and repor' and ge' 'he 'hings checked. $ome o'hers 8ill 0e reluc'an'. -f e+alua'ion is
no' for'hcoming< 'he counsellor could gen'ly dra8 'he a''en'ion of 'he counsellee for ha+ing an
e+alua'ion 8i'h himHher. 4efore ha+ing e+alua'ions 8i'h you 'he clien's should 0e encouraged 'o self-
e+alua'e 'heir o8n performance. Training 'he clien's 'o e+alua'e 'hemsel+es should 0e normally done.
A life 'ha' has no' 0een e+alua'ed usually de'eriora'es. 7elping 'he clien's 'o self-e+alua'e is an
in+alua0le ser+ice 'o 'hem.
/. AD6ANTAGES OF E6ALUATION
8</
?ha'e+er 'ype of e+alua'ion one may ha+e< one can dra8 a num0er of 0enefi's from such a
process.
8+ SUPPORT
-n a 'rou0led 8orld of 'he clien'< 'he one 8ho unders'ands 'he in'ernal frame of reference of 'he
clien' hopefully is 'he counsellor. $ince i' 8as 'he counsellor 8ho es'a0lished a rappor'< 'ook in'eres' in
'he 8elfare of 'he clien'< came 'o kno8 +ery closely hisHher 'hough's< feelings and 0eha+iour and had
0een 8i'h himHher all 'hrough 'he helping process< heHshe should 0e 'he one 'o 8hom 'he clien' 8ill 'urn
for suppor'< mos'ly for emo'ional suppor'.
#6.
.+ 5EING 9ITH
The counsellor gi+es 'he impression 'o 'he clien' 'ha' heHshe has no' lef' 'he clien' or a0andoned
himHher. 7isHher in'eres' in 'he 8elfare of 'he clien' con'inues irrespec'i+e of 'he 'ime lapse. The clien'
8ill feel 'ha' heHshe is cons'an'ly 0eing helped 0y a caring hand.
1+ O6ERCOMING INITIAL DIFFICULTIES
The clien' goes and e/perimen's 'hings 'ha' are qui'e foreign 'o himHher< and 'he 8orld in spi'e
of hisHher ha+ing had 'he 0enefi' of counselling< has no' 0een changed. &n'ering in'o 'he same 8orld
and 0eing encoun'ered 8i'h 'he same s'imuli 'ha' s'imula'ed himHher early heHshe may 0e a' a loss<
o+er8helmed 0y 'he ini'ial difficul'ies 8hich if o+ercome 8ill 0ecome a grea' ad+an'age. A 'imely
in'er+en'ion of 'he counsellor 8ill ena0le 'he clien' 'o o+ercome hisHher ini'ial fear and difficul'ies and
'hus enhance hisHher on8ard march.
/+ HONOURING THE CONTRACTS
&+alua'ion makes 'he clien' 'o 0e fai'hful 'o 'he con'rac's heHshe has made. 7eHshe feels 'ha'
since heHshe has 'o go and repor' 'o 'he counsellor< heHshe is o0liged 'o keep up hisHher con'rac's. There
may 0e an unconscious desire 'o 0e apprecia'ed 0y 'he counsellor or a' leas' 'he desire 'ha' 'he
counsellor should no' find faul' 8i'h himHher for no' ha+ing kep' up 'he con'rac's. -n +ie8 of 'he
e+alua'ion< 'he clien' 8an's 'o honour hisHher con'rac's made 8i'h 'he counsellor.
;+ MODIF:ING GOALS
-' may 0e 'rue 'ha' 'he goal se' 0y 'he clien' looked 0righ' and +ia0le. 4u' la'er as 'he clien'
s'ar'ed 'o 8ork on i'< heHshe migh' mee' 8i'h maEor difficul'ies 0ecause of 'he +ery na'ure of 'he goal.
A' 'ha' 'ime heHshe needs 'o e+alua'e 'he goal and scru'iniAe i' 'horoughly in 'he presence of someone
else. )or 'ha'< 'he person mos' fi''ing 8ould 0e 'he counsellor since i' 8as 'he counsellor 8ho helped
himHher se' 'he goal. 4o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee could re+ie8 'he goal and modify i' if
necessary so 'ha' 'he goal is 8orka0le.
-+ MODIF:ING STRATEGIES
-' is possi0le 'ha' 8ha' 'he clien' se' as 'he goal may 0e all righ' and appropria'e and 8i'hin
hisHher capaci'y. 4u' 'he means heHshe adop'ed 'o 8ork for 'he goal may 0e defec'i+e. The s'ra'egies
may no' 0e prac'ical. The clien' is likely 'o 'hink 'ha' i' is 'he goal 'ha' is deficien' 8i'hou' realiAing 'ha'
i' is 'he s'ra'egy 'ha' heHshe has 'o modify ra'her 'han 'he goal. 7ence a discussion 8i'h 'he counsellor
0y 8ay of e+alua'ion 8ill help 'he clien' modify 'he means 8hich are s'ra'egies 'o 'he goal.
<+ GETTING STRENGTHENED
?hen e+ery'hing is all righ' and 8orking 8ell 'he clien' proceeds fearlessly 'o8ards 'he
achie+emen' of 'he goal. 4u' in 'he middle heHshe may ge' frigh'ened or may ha+e midcourse
difficul'ies for 8hich a 'alk 8i'h a counsellor 8ill go a long 8ay in dispelling hisHher fears and heHshe
#61
8ill feel encouraged 'o proceed fur'her undaun'ed. This periodical s'reng'hening is a 0oos' 'o 'he
counsellee.
4+ LEARNING PROCESS
&+alua'ion in i'self is a learning process. -' may also 0e a 'ime for 'he clien' 'o go o+er all 'he
process of 'he counselling in'er+ie8 heHshe had 8i'h 'he counsellor a' 'imes making reference 'o some
salien' insigh's and 'hus i' 0ecomes a learning process. ?hen going o+er a ma''er again and again one
learns i' 8ell.
2+ ACKNO9LEDGES LEARNING
A lo' of learning is simply los' and 0ecomes useless in our li+es Eus' 0ecause 8e did no' re+ise i'.
?e did no' realiAe 'ha' 8e ha+e learned qui'e a 0i'. -n conduc'ing sessions if no e+alua'ion is had< 'he
par'icipan's go a8ay 'hinking 'ha' 'hey learned hardly any'hing 0u' on 'he con'rary 8hen 8e make 'hem
si' and 'ake s'ock of 'he 'hings 'ha' 'hey ha+e learned making an assessmen' 0o'h posi'i+ely and
nega'i+ely 'hey 0ecome a8are 'ha' 'hey ha+e learned +ery much. Therefore e+alua'ion 'akes s'ock of
'he 'hings learned already 0y 'he counsellee.
80+ MOANING FAILURE
4o'h 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee hope 'ha' e+ery'hing 8ill 'urn ou' 'o 0e good. 4u' i' can
happen 'ha' 'he resul' seems 'o 0e a failure for 'he clien'. ?hen confron'ed 8i'h a failure one na'urally
moans. ?hen sorro8 is shared i' is hal+ed. !a'urally 'he counsellor 8ould 0e 'he fi''ing person 8i'h
8hom heHshe could moan and 'he counsellor 0ecause he is also skilled in 0eing effec'i+ely 8i'h a
moaning person< 8ill 0e of suppor' 'o himHher in hisHher grie+ing.
88+ FAILURE IS A LEARNING
?e are li+ing in a success-orien'ed socie'y. All 'ha' ma''ers is success and people shudder 'o
'hink of failure. $ocie'y has failed 'o 'each 'he youngs'ers 'ha' like success< failures 'oo are equally
ena0ling. )or e/ample< if a course of ac'ion did no' 8ork< 'he implica'ion is a grea' learning. The clien'
no8 learns 'ha' such and such a course of ac'ion does no' 8ork. To kno8 8ha' 8orks is defini'ely a
learning< and in 'he same 8ay 'o kno8 8ha' does no' 8ork is equally a learning. The clien' learns 'his
lesson in e+alua'ion.
8.+ CELE5RATING 6ICTOR:
-' is no' only in grief 'ha' you 8ould like 'o share your sorro8 8i'h someone 0u' also 8hen you
are +ic'orious and successful. ?hen Eoy is shared i' is dou0led. ?hen 'he clien' really succeeds heHshe
8an's 'o share 8i'h someone 8ho had 0een caring for himHher during 'he counselling in'er+ie8 and 8as
encouraging himHher 'o 'ake 'he necessary s'eps< 0eing suppor'i+e all 'he 'ime. Therefore a' 'he 'ime of
hisHher +ic'ory 'he counsellor 8ill 0e one of 'he persons 'o reEoice 8i'h himHher 0y looking 0ack and
e+alua'ing 'he process.
81+ ENHANCING RELATIONSHIP
#67
?e kno8 'ha' in counselling in'erac'ion 'ransference 'akes place< 8hich is mos'ly a posi'i+e one.
-' 8ill 0e 'here if no' on a high le+el a' leas' 'o a minimum le+el. Tha' rela'ionship need no' die ou'.
&+ery rela'ionship is 0eau'iful. Af'er 'he counselling is o+er< 'he clien's may no' +isi' 'he counsellor
frequen'ly. @nce in a 8ay 'he re'urn of a counsellee 'o 'he counsellor 8ill also enhance 'heir 8arm
rela'ionship. 4u' one should no' 'hink 'ha' counselling is mean' for rela'ionship and if you as a
counsellor 8ere 'o cra+e for i' you ha+e some unme' needs 8hich you need 'o 8ork ou'. 4u' if a las'ing
friendship 8ere 'o 0lossom 0e'8een 'he counsellor and 'he counsellee i' is some'hing 8elcome and
no0le.
)or 'he a0o+e men'ioned ad+an'ages you 8ill endea+our 'o facili'a'e 'he clien' 'o make ongoing
e+alua'ions during 'he counselling sessions and la'er periodically 'o make sure 'ha' your facili'a'ion is
really effec'i+e in 'he life of 'he clien'.
;. RE6IE9ING
-n 'he las' s'age of e+alua'ing i' is no' 'he counsellor 8ho 'akes a maEor share 0u' i' is 'he clien'.
7eHshe looks 0ack on all 'ha' had happened< 8ha' heHshe learned< ho8 'he s'ra'egies 8orked and ho8
'he goal has 0een achie+ed< or no' achie+ed. -f necessary heHshe makes 'he necessary modifica'ion in
'he goal se'. -f modifica'ion 8ill no' 8ork heHshe 8ill al'oge'her al'er 'he goal so 'ha' i' is 8orka0le and
sa'isfying 'o himHher. -f 'he s'ra'egies need modifica'ion heHshe modifies 'he s'ra'egies. 7eHshe
0ecomes mindful of 'he con'rac's heHshe has made and 8an's 'o 0e fai'hful 'o hisHher 8ords. All 'hese
are done 0y 'he counsellee a' 'he las' s'ep of re+ie8ing.
7eHshe needs 'o realiAe 'ha' re+ie8ing is no' a 8as'e of 'ime 0u' i' is a grea' learning process.
7eHshe co-opera'es 8i'h 'he counsellor for hisHher o8n good 0ecause of 'he ad+an'ages of re+ie8ing
hisHher performance. =e+ie8ing could help himHher 0e 0old in mee'ing si'ua'ions 'ha' once seemed
insurmoun'a0le. 7ere all 'ha' - recommend 'o a clien' is 'ha' heHshe should 0e 8illing 'o re+ie8 'he
performance and con'inue 'o gro8. -' is no' only for sol+ing pro0lems 'ha' one approaches a counsellor
0u' also for gro8'h. The fac' 'ha' you 8orked ou' your pro0lem is no' reason enough 8hy you need no'
gro8. All 'hrough our life 8e should 0e commi''ed 'o our gro8'h. -n our gro8'h process 8e could
a+oid 'he pi'falls 8e had me' earlier. And 'ha' can 0e done only 8hen one is a0le 'o look 0ack and 'ake
s'ock of 'he pas' e/perience.
Thus 8e ha+e reached 'he end of 'he counselling process concen'ra'ing in e+ery s'ep on 'he
skills of 'he counsellor and 'he 'asks of 'he counsellee. &ach one had some'hing serious 'o do and 'he
8ork of 0o'h of 'hem 8as needed. 4u' 'he grea'er responsi0ili'y 8as 'aken 0y 'he counsellee. 4o'h of
'hem learned qui'e a 0i' in 'he process and 'ha' is 8or'h con'inuing in 'heir li+es.
7ere ends 'he Microskill Model of Counselling.
5I5LIOGRAPH:
Adams< 7enry &. Pa'ricia 4.
$u'ker ;&ds.>.
$omprehensi!e 4andbook Of 5sychopathology. *
rd
ed. !e8 Jork: (lu8er AcademicHPlenum
Pu0lishers< #661.
AmericanPsychia'ric Associa'ion. 6iagnostic And 1tatistical &anual Of &ental
6isorders. ,
'h
ed. ?ashing'on: American
#62
Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 133,.
4ha'ia< 7ans =aE. 7eneral 5sychology. !e8 Delhi:
@/ford -47 Pu0lishing Co.< 1321.
4ha'ia< 7ans =aE. Abnormal 5sychology. !e8 Delhi:
@/ford -47 Pu0lishing Co.< 1321.
Carkhuff< =o0er' =. The Art of 4elping I8. Massachuse''s.
7uman =esource De+elopmen' Press<
-nc.< 132*.
Cohen< Da+id. Body 9anguage in :elationships.
"ondon: $heldon Press< 133#.
&gan< 9erard. The 1killed 4elper. California: 4rooksH
Cole Pu0lishing Company< 133,.
)as'< :ulius Body 9anguage. !e8 Jork: Pocke'
4ooks< 1371
)us'er< :.M. 5ersonal $ounselling. 4andra : The
4om0ay $'. Paul $ocie'y. 1321.
9a00ard< 9len @. $arah D.
A'kinson ;&ds.>.
1ynopsis Of Treatments Of 5sychiatric 6isorders.
#
nd
ed. ?ashing'on: American Psychia'ric Press<
1331.
7ales< =o0er' &. $'uar' C.
Judofsky ;&ds.>.
Textbook Of $linical 5sychiatry. ,
'h
ed.
?ashing'on: American Psychia'ric Pu0lishing<
#66*.
7ales< =o0er' &.< $'uar' C.
Judofsky :ohn A. Tal0o'' ;&ds.>.
Textbook Of 5sychiatry. *
rd
ed. ?ashing'on:
American Psychia'ric Press< 1333.
7urlock< &liAa0e'h 4. 6e!elopmental 5sychology. !e8 Delhi: TATA Mc9ra8-7ill
Pu0lishing Company "'d.< 1327.
#63
:ohn An'ony< D.
:ohn An'ony< D.
6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha
Pu0lica'ions< 133,.
;motions in $ounselling. Dindigul: Anugraha
Pu0lica'ions< #66..
:ohn An'ony< D. 5sychotherapies in $ounselling. Dindigul:
Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< #66*.
:ohn An'ony< D. 1kills of $ounselling. #
nd
ed. Dindigul: Anugraha
Pu0lica'ions< #66*.
:ohn An'ony< D. Types of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha
Pu0lica'ions< 1331.
(aplan< 7arold -. 4enEamin :.
$adock ;&ds.>.
Comprehensi!e Textbook Of 5sychiatry<8I.
Philadelphia: ?illiams ?ilkins< 133..
(ur'.< =on Pres'era< 7ec'or. The Body :e!eals. !e8 Jork:
7arper =o8< 1371.
Mc 7ugh< Dick &ind with a 4eart. 4ori+li:$'.)rancis
Technical -ns'i'u'e Press< 133#.
!elson-:ones< =ichard 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping
1kills. 4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself
4ooks< 133,.
Pease< Allan Body 9anguage. !e8 Delhi: $udha
Pu0lica'ions P+'.. "'d.< 1336.
Tagore< =a0indrana'h. 7itan/ali. Madras: Macmillan -ndia< 137,.
5an (aam< Adrian. The Art of ;xistential $ounselling.
Pennsyl+ania: Dimension 4ooks<1311.
5aughan< =ichard P. Basic 1kills for $hristian $ounsellors.
!e8 Jork: Paulis' Press< 1327.
#16
1
ENDNOTES
5. INTRODUCTION
Adrian 5an (aam< The Art of ;xistential $ounselling. Pennsyl+ania: Dimension 0ooks< 1311< pp.13-#6.
#
-0id.< p.11.
*
9erard &gan< The 1killed 4elper. California: 4rooksHCole Pu0lishing Company< 133,< pp. .-1.
,
:oe Currie< The Barefoot $ounsellor. 4angalore: Asian Trading Corpora'ion<1322< p.167.
.
-0id.< p.161.
1
Adrian 5an (aam< op.ci'.< p.#6.
7
=a0indrana'h Tagore< 7itan/ali. Madras: Macmillan -ndia< 137,< pp.*-,.
2
Adrian 5an (aam< op.ci'.< p.#*.
3
9erard &gan< op.ci'.< p.#1*.
16
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< p...
11
=ichard !elson-:ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping kills< 4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,< p.#.
1#
-0id.< P.*K D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< p.1.
1*
=ichard !elson - :ones< op.ci'.< p.#.
1,
-0id.< p.*.
1.
9erard &gan< op.ci'.< p...
11
=ichard !elson-:ones < op.ci'.< p.*.
17
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp.< 1-7K :.M. )us'er< 5ersonal $ounselling. 4andra: The 4om0ay $'.Paul $ocie'y< 1321< p.,7.
12
=ichard !elson % :ones< op.ci'.< pp. #-*K D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< p.7K :.M. )us'er< op.ci'.< p.,7.
13
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< p.7.
I. PACING
8
#6
Allan Pease< Body 9anguage. !e8 Delhi: $udha Pu0lica'ions P+'. "'d.< 1336< p.1*3.
#1
9erard &gan< The 1killed 4elper. California: 4rooksHCole Pu0lishing Company< 133,< p.,2.
##
-0id.< p.3*.
#*
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< p.1*.
#,
Allan Peace< op.ci'. pp. *#-*3.
#.
-0id.< p.1,.
#1
-0id.< pp.1,-1..
#7
-0id.<PP.1.-11.
#2
-0id.<P.11.
#3
-0id.
*6
=ichard !elson-:ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping 1kills. 4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,< P.11.
*1
-0id.< p.12.
*#
:.M. )us'er< 5ersonal $ounselling. 4andra: The 4om0ay $'. Paul $ocie'y< 1321 < p.16,.
**
Adrian 5an (aam< The Art of ;xistential $ounselling. Pennsyl+ania: Dimension 4ooks< 1311< p.*1.
*,
9erard &gan< op.ci'.< p.1.
*.
-0id.< p.,7.
*1
-0id.< p.73.
*7
*2
-0id.< p.162.
*3
9erard &gan< op.ci'.< pp.73-21.
,6
-0id.< p.1,2.
,1
=a0indrana'h Tagore< 7itan/ali. Madras: Macmillan -ndia< 137,< pp.11-17.
,#
9erard &gan< op.ci'.< p.1,7.
,*
-0id.< p.1,3.
,,
.
,.
=o0er' =. Carkhuff< The Art of 4elping I8. Amhers'< Massachuse''s: 7uman =esource De+elopmen' Press< -nc.<
132*< p.,7.
,1
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,<p.12.
,7
Da+id Cohen< Body 9anguage in :elationships. "ondon: $heldon Press<133#< p.#.
,2
-0id.< p.1.
,3
7ans =aE 4ha'ia< Abnormal 5sychology. !e8 Delhi: @/ford -47 Pu0lishing Co.< 1321< pp. 12-13K Da+id
Cohen< op.ci'.< p.7.
.6
Da+id Cohen< op.ci'. p.#.
.1
-0id.< p...
.#
=on (ur'A 7ec'or Pres'era< op.ci'.< p.*.
.*
-0id.
.,
=ichard !elson - :ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping 1kills.4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,<
p.1,.
..
-0id.< p.1#*.
.1
=on (ur'A 7ec'or Pres'era< The Body :e!eals. !e8 Jork: 7arper =o8< 1371< p.1K D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< p.17.
.7
Dick Mc7ugh< &ind with a 4eart. 4ori+li: $'.)rancis Technical -ns'i'u'e Press< 133#< pp. #*-*,.
.2
-0id.< p.*..
.3
Allan Pease< Body 9anguage. !e8 Delhi: $udha Pu0lica'ions P+'. "'d.< 1336< pp. ,6-,7.
16
-0id.< pp. ,2-.2.
11
-0id.< pp..3-7*.
1#
-0id.< pp.72-21.
1*
-0id.< pp.31-37.
1,
-0id.< p.2,.
1.
-0id.< pp.71-77.
11
-0id.< pp.32-33.
17
-0id.< pp.16*-161.
12
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling< op.ci'.< pp.#6-#7.
13
1
7ans =aE 4ha'ia< 7eneral 5sychology. !e8 Delhi : @/ford -47 Pu0lishing Co.<1321 < pp. 161-167.
76
-0id.< pp. 167-11*.
71
:ulius )as'< Body 9anguage. !e8 Jork: Pocke' 4ooks< 1371< p.12.
7#
Allan Pease< Body 9anguage. !e8 Delhi: $udha Pu0lica'ions P+'. "'d.< 1336< pp. #6-#1K :ulius )as'. op.ci'.< pp. #6-
#*.
7*
:ulius )as'< op.ci'.< p.,*K Allan Pease< op.ci'.< p.#1.
7,
=o0er' =. Carkhuff< The Art of 4elping I8. Amhers'< Massachuse''s: 7uman =esource De+elopmen' Press< -nc.<
132*< pp. *2-*3K 9erard &gan< The 1killed 4elper. California: 4rooks H Cole Pu0lishing Company< 133,< pp. 31-3#K
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil : Anugraha Pu0lica'ions < 133,< p.#3.
7.
Allan Peace< op.ci'.< pp. 11.< 1#,-1#1< 1*#-1*,.
71
-0id.< p.23K =o0er' =. Carkhuff< op.ci'. pp.,1<3#K D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'. pp.,-.< #1K :ulius )as'< op.ci'.< pp. 1,6-1,#K
Allan Pease< op.ci'.< pp.21-23.
77
9erard &gan< op.ci'.<p.3#K D.:ohn An'ony< op.ci'.<pp. ##<*6.
72
9erard &gan< op.ci'.<p.3#K =o0er' =.Carkfuff< op.ci'.< pp. ,6< *2K D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< p.*6.
73
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp.#1-#7< *6-*1K 7ans =aE 4ha'ia< op.ci'.< pp.162-163< =ichard P. 5aughan< Basic 1kills for
$hristian $ounsellors. !e8 Jork: Paulis' Press< 1327< p..1K =o0er' =. Carkhuff< op.ci'.< p.,#K 9erard &gan< op.ci'.<
p.3#.
26
Dick Mc7ugh< &ind with a 4eart. 4ori+li: $'.)rancis Technical -ns'i'u'e Press< 133#< p.1.6-1.3K
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< *1-*#K Allan Peaceop.ci'.< pp. 167 -163K =ichard P. 5aughan< op.ci'.< p.,6.
21
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< p.*1K =ichard !elson - :ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping 1kills. 4om0ay: 4e''er
Jourself 4ooks< 133,< pp.*.-*1.
2#
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp.,1-,7< 116K =ichard !elson-:ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping 1kills.
4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,< P.71.
2*
/
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp.,2-.6K
=ichard P. 5aughan< Basic 1kills for $hristian $ounsellors. !e8 Jork: Paulis' Press< 1327< pp.2#-2*.
2,
=o0er' =. Carkhuff< The Art of 4elping I8. Amhers'< Massachuse''s: 7uman =esource De+elopmen' Press<
-nc.< 132*< p.16.
2.
;
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp..*-..K =ichard P. 5aughan<
Basic 1kills for $hristian $ounsellors. !e8 Jork: Paulis' Press< 1327< pp.36-3#< 33-16*.
21
D. :ohn An'ony< op< ci'.< pp...-.1.
27
-0id.< pp..1-.7K =ichard P. 5aughan< op. ci'.< pp.3,< 1#6-1#,.
22
D. :ohn An'ony< op. ci'.< p. .7K =ichard P. 5aughan< op.ci'.< pp.2.-21< 116-111K 9erard &gan< op.ci'.< pp.1#1-
1#7K =ichard !elson-:ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping 1kills. 4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,<
Pp.7*-7,.
23
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp..2-11K =ichard !elson % :ones< op.ci'.< p.1..
36
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil : Anugraha Pu0lica'ions < 133,< pp.11-1,.
31
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'. pp.1,-7#.
3#
D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'. pp.7#-7*.
3*
=ichard !elson-:ones< op. ci'.< p.71.
3,
-
D. :ohn An'ony< ;motions in $ounselling. Dindigul: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< #66.< pp. #.-*6.
3.
h''p:HHen.8ikipedia.orgH8ikiH)eeling
31
=o0er' =. Carkhuff< The Art of 4elping I8. Amhers'< Massachuse''s: 7uman =esource De+elopmen' Press<
-nc.< 132*< p.21K D. :ohn An'ony< op< ci'.< pp..3<21K :.M. )us'er< op< ci'.< pp.1#*-1*,.
37
h''p:HH888.heal'hyplace.comHCommuni'iesHA0useHholliHhealingHfeelingsXchar'.h'm
<
32
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< p.36.
33
4
ALLO9 THE CLIENT TO SPEAK SUFFICIENTL: ON THE FEELING
D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< p.23.
2
FACILITATE THE CLIENT TO RELEASE STRONG NEGATI6E FEELINGS
166
D. :ohn An'ony< ;motions in $ounselling. Dindigul: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< #66.< p.1,6K D. :ohn An'ony<
6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp.23< 36< 112-113K =ichard P. 5aughan op.ci'.<
pp..*-.,.
161
D. :ohn An'ony< ;motions in $ounselling. Dindigul: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< #66.< p. ##*K D. :ohn An'ony< op< ci'.<
pp.117-112K =ichard P. 5aughan< op< ci'.< pp..1-.#.
16#
D. :ohn An'ony< ;motions in $ounselling. Dindigul: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< #66.< pp. #62-#63.
16*
80
PINPOINT THE PRO5LEM AND ASK FOR A RECENT E6ENT
&liAa0e'h 4. 7urlock< 6e!elopmental 5sychology< !e8 Delhi: Ta'a Mc9ra8- 7ill Pu0lishing Company "'d.<
1327< p .1,.
104
American Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 6iagnostic And 1tatistical &anual Of &ental 6isorders. ,
'h
ed. ?ashing'on:
American Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 133,< pp.1#3<1**K =o0er' &. 7ales< $'uar' C. Judofsky :ohn A. Tal0o''<;&ds.><
Textbook Of 5sychiatry. *
rd
ed. ?ashing'on: American Psychia'ric Press< 1333< p.73..
16.
7arold -. (aplan 4enEamin :. $adock ;&ds.>< Comprehensi!e Textbook Of 5sychiatry<8I. Philadelphia: ?illiams
?ilkins< 133.< pp.1,*.< 1,*7< 1,,.K =o0er' &. 7ales< $'uar' C. Judofsky :ohn A. Tal0o''<;&ds.>< Textbook Of
5sychiatry. *
rd
ed. op.ci'.< pp.261-26.K American Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 6iagnostic And 1tatistical &anual Of &ental
6isorders. ,
'h
ed. op.ci'.<pp.1*7-1*3< 1,1-1,#< 1,..
161
D. :ohn Ana'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp.16-1#K D. :ohn An'ony<
1kills of $ounselling. #
nd
ed. Dindigul: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< #66*< p.113K =o0er' &. 7ales< $'uar' C. Judofsky :ohn
A. Tal0o''<;&ds.>< Textbook Of 5sychiatry. *
rd
ed. op.ci'.< pp.261-21#K American Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 6iagnostic And
1tatistical &anual Of &ental 6isorders. ,
'h
ed. op.ci'.<pp.1,7-1.6<1.,< 1.1-1.2< 116-111K 7arold -. (aplan
4enEamin :. $adock< ;&ds.>< Comprehensi!e Textbook of 5sychiatry<8I. op.ci'.< pp.1,,6-1,,*< 1,,3< 1,.*-1,.,K 7enry
&. Adams Pa'ricia 4. $u'ker< ;&ds.>< $omprehensi!e 4andbook Of 5sychopathology. *
rd
ed. !e8 Jork: (lu8er
AcademicHPlenum Pu0lishers< #661< pp.,,.-,73< ,31-.6#< .17-.#1.
167
7arold -. (aplan 4enEamin :. $adock< ;&ds.>< Comprehensi!e Textbook of 5sychiatry<8I. op.ci'.< pp. 1,,7-1,,2<
1,.1< 1,..-1,.1K =o0er' &. 7ales< $'uar' C. Judofsky :ohn A. Tal0o''<;&ds.>< Textbook Of 5sychiatry. *
rd
ed. op.ci'.<
pp.21#-211K American Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 6iagnostic And 1tatistical &anual Of &ental 6isorders. ,
'h
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op.ci'.<pp.11*-17*K7enry &. Adams Pa'ricia 4. $u'ker< ;&ds.>< $omprehensi!e 4andbook Of 5sychopathology. *
rd
ed.
!e8 Jork: (lu8er AcademicHPlenum Pu0lishers< #661< pp..#1-.#7.
162
=o0er' &. 7ales< $'uar' C. Judofsky :ohn A. Tal0o''<;&ds.>< Textbook Of 5sychiatry. *
rd
ed. op.ci'.< p.217K
'h
ed. op.ci'.<p.7**K 7arold
-. (aplan 4enEamin :. $adock< ;&ds.>< Comprehensi!e Textbook of 5sychiatry<8I. op.ci'.< p.1,.2.
163
7arold -. (aplan 4enEamin :. $adock< ;&ds.>< Comprehensi!e Textbook of 5sychiatry<8I. op.ci'.< p.1,.3K American
Psychia'ric Associa'ion< 6iagnostic And 1tatistical &anual Of &ental 6isorders. ,
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ed. op.ci'.<p.7*,.
116
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ed. op.ci'.< p.212.
111
7arold -. (aplan 4enEamin :. $adock< ;&ds.>< Comprehensi!e Textbook of 5sychiatry<8I. op.ci'.< pp.232-233K
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Associa'ion< 6iagnostic And 1tatistical &anual Of &ental 6isorders. ,
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American Psychia'ric Press< 1331< pp.##7-#,6< #,7-#,3K 7enry &. Adams Pa'ricia 4. $u'ker< ;&ds.>< $omprehensi!e
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D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp.111-11#.
II. REFRAMING
1.6
Dick Mc7ugh< Mind 8i'h a 7ear'. 4ori+li: $'.)rancis Technical -ns'i'u'e Press< 133#< pp. 13. -#66.
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9erard &gan< The $killed 7elper. California: 4rooksHCole Pu0lishing Company< 133,< pp...-.1K D. :ohn
An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp. 11*-111K =ichard P.5aughan<
4asic $kills for Chris'ian Counsellors. !e8 Jork: Paulis' Press< 1327< pp. 2-3K Adrian 5an (aam< The Art of
;xistential $ounselling. Pennsyl+ania: Dimension 4ooks< 1311< pp: 1,2-1,3.
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9erard &gan< op.ci'.< pp. .1-..K D.:ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp.111-1#6K =ichard P.5aughan< op.ci'.< pp. 3-16.
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9erard &gan< op.ci'.< pp. 161 -1#1K =ichard !elson-:ones< 5ractical $ounselling and 4elping 1kills.
4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,< Pp.,*-,2K D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp.1#6-1#,.
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D. :ohn An'ony< op.ci'.< pp. 1*3- 1,*K 9erard &gan< op.ci'.< p.11.< 117-176K =ichard !elson-:ones< 5ractical
$ounselling and 4elping 1kills. 4om0ay: 4e''er Jourself 4ooks< 133,< p. 16#K =ichard !elson- :ones< op.ci'.< p.71.
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An'ony< op.ci'.< pp. 1,. -1,3 K 9erard &gan< op.ci'.< pp.121 -136.
88
PERSONALI=E THE CLIENT>S DEFICIENC:
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=o0er' =.Carkhuff< The Art of 4elping I8.Amhers'< Masschuse''s:7uman =esource De+elopmen' Press< -nc.<
132*< pp. 111-11,K :. M. )us'er< 5ersonal $ounselling. 4andra: The 4om0ay $'.Paul $ocie'y< 1321< pp. 1.1< 1.2<
113-17.K D. :ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of counselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp. 1#7-1#3.
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FIND OUT ALTERNATI6E FRAME OF REFERENCE
111
D.:ohn An'ony< 6ynamics of $ounselling. !agercoil: Anugraha Pu0lica'ions< 133,< pp.1*6-1*#K 9erard &gan< The
1killed 4elper. California:4rooks HCole Pu0lishing Company< 133,< pp. ,*< 1,.-1,7< 11# -11*.
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EMPLO: PRO5LEM7SOL6ING TECHNIQUES) 5EHA6IOURAL STRATEGIES) AND ACTION
PROGRAMMES
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