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Darin Dutson

Mark O. Jarvis, PhD, JD

Marriage and Family Relations 2400

14 July 2014
8A: ARE YOU READY?
Suppose your 21 year old child or best friend came to you and asked the question, "How do you
know if you are ready for marriage?" How would you respond? If it will help, you may
interview two other people and list their answers in your paper. As you consider the factors
predicting marital success, look at your own past relationships. What factors, such as
background, personality characteristics, and relationship characteristics, might have predicted the
quality of your relationship? Were any particular characteristics especially important for you?
Why?

I feel that the one of the most important attributes for marriage (if not the most important
attribute) is selflessness. This is the direct answer I would give if I had to respond to that sort of
question. I believe that someone is ready for marriage when they are willing to give up their own
interests for the greater whole of the family. From my experience, I have learned that it is very
contagious when one seeks after the well-being of others. Surrounding bystanders feel the same
joyful attitude and help those around themselves also. In the family unit, this idea often makes
itself into a reality.
In my past relationships, I know that when I placed another person ahead of myself, we
were both much happier. When I was younger, I had more selfish characteristics which led to
types of drama and discontent. I believe it necessary in a spouse to have a more humble
background, or at least to have experienced humble circumstances. This aids in a person being
grateful for what they have, which also brings content and love for ones situation. Forgiveness
and a giving demeanor also contribute to happy, stable marriages (Strong & Cohen, p. 292).
These characteristics are necessary in moving forward in any difficult marriage condition. We all
know that our relationships will become challenging at times, but if we acquire and display these
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qualities, it is hard to say if anything can impede from absolute tranquility.
I always make predictions in relationships based off attributes. Usually, I am always able
to foresee a relationship going south, simply from impressions during the first few dates. Many
attributes lead to awkward outcomes with which I would never be able to live.
When I asked a couple of peers about marriage, they mentioned a few things about being
financially stable, recognizing that love is not a simple crush, understanding certain aspects of
raising children, having common goals, and so forth. Also they stated it was important to feel at
peace with the decision you are going to make, and not being too nervous or anxious. I definitely
agree with all these things; however, as mentioned above, I feel it most important to be selfless
so that one may resolve any contention or strife happening within the relationship. Again, I
believe this attribute is not only important going into a relationship but also staying with the
relationship. It is important to be selfless with your own children and with extended family. It is
an attribute you can display in all situations and receive much gratification.

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Reference List
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The marriage and family experience: Intimate relationships in
a changing society (12th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.