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HYPNOSIS : 40 MAY 2014 TRANCE : 11

HYPNOTIQUE
40
Years
FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION ONLY
NEVER JUDGE ANYONE
A doctor entered the hospital in a hurry after being called in
suddenly for an urgent surgery. Why did you take all this time to
come? Dont you know that my sons life is in danger? Dont you have
any sense of responsibility? yelled the boys dad. The doctor smiled
& said, I am sorry, I wasnt in the hospital & I came as fast as I could
after receiving the call What if your son was in this room right now,
would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??
said the father angrily. The doctor smiled again & replied: From dust
we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God. Doctors
cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best
by Gods grace. Giving advice when were not concerned is so easy,
murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor came out
happy, Thank goodness! Your son is saved! And without waiting
for the fathers reply, he carried on his way running. If you have any
questions, ask the nurse!! Why is he so arrogant? He couldnt wait
a minute so that I could ask about my sons state? commented the
father on seeing the nurse shortly after the doctor left. The nurse
answered, tears coming down her face: His son died yesterday in
a road accident, he was in the funeral service when we called him
for your sons surgery. And now that he saved your sons life, he left
running to fnish his sons burial.
Moral: Never judge anyone because you never know how
their life is & what theyre going through.
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THE HYPNOTIQUE CIRCLE
MADRAS
40
Years
Block S-27 C, Rainbow Flats, Ponnambalam Salai, K K Nagar, Chennai 78
President Vice President Vice President Secretary
MUTHIAH RAMANATHAN Dr T M PERUMAL Dr C N RAMGOPAL MAJOR V V NARAYANAN
93810-34310 93810-65016 94442-90841 91500-00615
Joint Secretary Joint Secretary Treasurer Joint Treasurer
R.GOPALAKRISHNAN G.GANESAN U M BAFNA SHOWKAT ALI
98844-81760 98401-29523 98415-34999 91766-78980
THE MOST POWERFUL WORDS IN THE UNIVERSE
By Jason Mangrum
Spiritual masters say that enlightenment can happen in an
instant or like the blooming of a lotus fower. The same can be said
of realizations, and learning. As you read a book on any subject
you will have moments that you stop reading just long enough to
say Ah ha! or Wow, thats how that works or thats why that
happens!
When you frst look at a new math equation and it makes no
sense, then later after you learn the process, you can look at the
same equation again and you not only understand it, you can
solve it.
There is a point where something is gained from any knowledge.
First you are ignorant, and then you inquire, next you realize, now
you have the power of that knowledge and can apply it to your
world. People will charge you thousands of dollars to beat around
the bush and tell you what I am about to tell you.
I have used this method that consists of only 2 words
to create anything I want usually within 24 hours if not
instantly.
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I have told these words to close friends, accompanied with the
warning Be careful what you wish for
There is only one guideline when using these key words and I
will get to that immediately after I tell you what these words are.
All you have to do is know what you want to make this work.
I Command!
Then put it in this sentence: I Command (Then just state
whatever you want). I know it sounds too simple. Your disbelief in
this might actually aid in its power.
You remain detached from the outcome because it just sounds
too easy This couldnt possibly work, Ive tried everything your
mind will say.
Good. What will you lose to seriously give this a try? I have been
using I Command all day, every day and I have come to realize
the power I have over the outcome of my life. So have those I have
told these words to ,through their own experiences with it.
If you honestly begin to use this take into consideration that
this command once made is not concerned about the how it will
happen. The power will just take the shortest possible path to
accomplishment.
All things great and small are possible when you use the words
I Command, but whatever they are, be prepared. Of course you
can always change what you want if you realize its not what you
thought it would be. It is never too late in this world to start anything
new and nothing is fnal.
The only thing constant in this world is change. You can either
be conscious of your creating or dragged along oblivious to it.
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There is only one rule.
One limitation and this is important if you truly want to apply this
knowledge. You cannot command something for or concerning
someone else.
Such as: I command so-and-so to fall in love with me instead
use- I command my true love to make himself known to me
Thats it. These words are yet to fail and you can command
anything within the realm of your imagination nothing is
impossible. All you have to do is command, and then look for the
command to be fulflled.
I hope you have read something here that helps you. If you apply
it be prepared to get what you want. Just be ready for the change.
3 REFRAMING TECHNIQUES TO IMPROVE
YOUR SUCCESS RATE
A man gives a woman a wonderful looking engagement ring.
She says, Gosh, thats beautiful! Is that a real diamond? and
he says,
Well, if its not, Ive just been conned out of three dollars!
We see things one way - then along comes something (like a
punch line) that completely reframes our perspective.
A determining factor in your clients happiness is not just what
happens to them but how they frame their reality. All effective
therapy (and humour!) involves re-framing; because events and
situations are only good or bad if we see them that way. We all
know people who make the best of the worst and the worst of the
best. And strong emotion skews how we frame reality. If were
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angry, we frame events through the lens of rage; when in love, we
frame everything as wonderful; and when were depressed, then
neutral or good events will be interpreted negatively. People come
to therapy because they want to feel and think in new ways that
help them live happier and healthier lives. The 3 things I always
do when reframing
1) I dont argue
Delivering reframes isnt about putting them right. Direct advice
giving seldom works because people need to feel:
competent
persuaded
not bamboozled - even with the best of intentions.
It is much more effective to present reframes as innocent
questions, observations, misunderstandings or even truisms.
2) I remember that reframes are more than just cognitive
A reframe needs to be felt. It needs to have an emotional impact
beyond its appeal to the thinking mind. This is because the new
frame needs to be more emotionally compelling than the old one
if it is to be accepted. We should raise the emotional temperature
of the clients and utilize what motivatesthem to help them view
things differently.
For example, a businessman and landlord who needed to
stop cigarettes choking the life out of him was given the following
analogy:
Imagine a tenant whom you had to pay to live in your house.
Imagine that you paid them to be there while they soiled your
furniture, wrecked your carpets, damaged the walls and roof...
Would you call that a good deal for you?
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After this reframe the man said he just couldnt continue
smoking. This reframe worked for him because of the nature of
his own business, and as a businessman the importance to him
of good deals. He could no longer think of smoking in any other
terms than a terrible deal for him.
3) I open the attention gates before I deliver a reframe
We need to know not only how to construct a reframe but also
how to open our clients attention gates so that they can become
receptive enough to actually take in and absorb the reframes we
offer them. No matter how elegant your reframe, if the client blocks
it out, it will be useless. This is why all psychotherapists need to
understand how people can become hypnotically receptive in so
many other ways than just through being formally hypnotized.
Milton Erickson was a master of the art of prepping a client so
that reframes would take hold. He would regularly use, singly or
in many artful combinations:
surprise
shock
humour
curiosity
hypnosis and
practical demonstration and instruction.
All these different techniques would get peoples full attention,
loosen them up and get them into the right frame of mind for his
reframes to take root. He would then deliver a carefully crafted and
individually targeted new perspective that would completely alter
the troubling and limiting ideas that were causing them unnecessary
diffculty in life.
Please keep these three principles in mind and your clients
will fnd themselves leaving your offce with powerful new
ways of seeing which transform how they live.
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PSYCHOLOGYS GREATEST ADVICE
By Susan Krauss Whitborune, Ph.D. /
Source: Psychology Today
Its perhaps an overly ambitious goal to sum up the greatest
psychology advice in one short article. Sifting through the many
theories and research fndings, there are some basic truths that seem
to rise up to the surface. Here they are:
1. You can learn a lot about people by observing their behavior.
The most important (if not the only) information you need to
understand a person is to watch what he or she does. Its true that
people often try to disguise their true motives or are pressed into
actions by circumstances over which they have no control. However,
the choices people make when given complete freedom can tell you
about their values, interests, and personalities.
2. Inner forces can drive outer behavior.
People can be driven by impulses and conficts that even they dont
realize, they have. Freud, pointed out how our repressed impulses leak
out into that observable behavior as discussed in point 1 above. One
should understand the basics of defense mechanisms and recognize
that there are times when issues that are painful or anxiety-provoking
can fuel some of our most neurotic behaviors.
3. Close relationships are important to well-being.
Self-reliance is a goal that many of us strive to achieve, and many
people will make all kinds of sacrifces to be able to express their
independence. Oour ability to relate closely to others will carry us
through many of lifes challenges. Perhaps this is one of the reasons
so many people seek out relationship advice. When your closest
relationship isnt working, you become preoccupied and miserable,
but when you have a partner you can rely on, you feel that you survive
anything else that happens in the outside world.
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4. Positive reinforcement is a great motivator.
Skinner showed that animalsincluding humanswould work
hard to receive desired rewards. The philosophy behind Skinners
work was that reinforcement, not punishment, is most likely to provide
desired outcomes. We use positive reinforcement all the time even
though we may not label it as such. Whether its by trying to entice
your kids to study longer or to get yourself to kick an unwanted habit,
positive reinforcement is an inherent part of life and one that works.
5. Use it or lose it.
This is typically associated with the mind. Masters and Johnson in
discussing sexuality in older adults showed the importance of staying
sexually active, even if the individuals physical stamina may be on
the wane. We now know that mental activity does promote better
cognitive functioning, no matter what your age is. One long-term study
of middle-aged workers found that people in jobs requiring higher
levels of cognitive activity actually showed fewer losses in intellectual
ability well into their later years.
6. Be aware of how situations affect behavior.
Social psychologys bread and butter is the demonstration of
how individuals react similarly, no matter what their personalities,
to situational effects. For example, people herd together when they
see something similar to themselves and become angry, insulting, or
dismissive when they see anything dissimilar. Consider how you feel
about pedestrians when youre behind the wheel of the car fnding it
annoying that they make you wait while they cross the road. On the
other hand, when its you whos walking, you become enraged if a car
or bike whizzes past you seemingly unaware of your presence. Once
we recognize such pervasive infuence, we can be more accepting
and empathetic to our fellow humans.
7. Realize theres more than just book smarts to intelligence.
For centuries, psychologists held that intelligence consisted of
particular mental abilities. Esteemed critics such as Robert Sternberg,
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Daniel Goleman, and Howard Gardner led a movement that eventually
caused a rethinking of how we approach intelligence. Educators,
theorists, and researchers now realize that its important to add
people smarts and street smarts (among other qualities) to the now
outdated intelligence quotient. Psychology is a subject of endless
fascination to many of us, and these 7 of its greatest lessons
can help us resolve many of the endless dilemmas one comes
across in daily life.
THE CONNECTION BETWEEN SELF ESTEEM
AND LEARNING
By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
What is the connection between self esteem and learning?
Can learning a new skill increase self esteem?
Can i have a higher self esteem without learning anything new?
Statements such knowledge is power sound cliche to most people
not because there is a problem with the statement itself but rather
because of problems with peoples understanding of self esteem and
life in general. In fact without learning your self esteem wont only
be low but it will be ruined completely to the extent that you will feel
worthless!!
In this article i will tell you about the connection between self
esteem and learning.
How is self esteem connected to learning
What is self esteem?
Its the belief that you can meet the life challenges you face. People
who manage to solve their life problems and face the different life
challenges always have a high self esteem while those who feel
helpless towards their problems usually have a low self esteem.
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In fact, feelings of inferiority arise when a person fnds himself
unable to face life challenges in the areas that are important to him.
So what does this has to do with the connection between self esteem
and learning?
In fact no one was born equipped with all the skills and knowledge
he needs to face life challenges and thats why a person needs to
learn more in order to be better equipped to face life.
How learning can enhance self esteem
When life sends people tough problems there are usually three
ways in which different categories of people respond to these
challenges.:
Indifference: A large number of people ignore their problems
and decide not to face them. They dont consider learning more
about the problems to be an option and they prefer to act as if
they dont notice them. This group of people usually ends up
depressed
Running: The majority of people run when they face problems.
They try to keep themselves busy, they develop bad habits that
help them forget about their problems and they do everything
they can other than learning how to solve the problem. Those
people end up feeling helpless, down and usually end up
depressed too
Knowledge seekers: This is the group that has the highest
self esteem. Those people understand that they shouldnt be
prepared to face all life problems and thats why they try to learn
more whenever they face a problem that they cant handle.
When those people learn the missing skills they need they
usually get over their problems and as a result they develop a
very high self esteem
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Final words about learning and self esteem
In short, if you care about building self esteem then you must
understand that learning is one of the most important things you
must do.
Instead of crying, feeling helpless or feeling bad try to learn about
the different ways that can help you deal with your problems and once
you solve them your self esteem will soar.
DRIVING THE ROAD TO SUCCESS
IN A PINK CADILLAC
(The Best Way Out is Always Through)
by BJ Gallagher
Mary Kay Ash banged her head on the corporate glass ceiling one
too many times. Working for several direct sales companies from the
1930s until the early 1960s, she achieved considerable success. She
climbed the corporate ladder to become the sole woman on the board
of directors of the World Gift Companyquite an accomplishment for a
woman in the 1950s. But life wasnt rosy at the top. Even though Mary
Kay had the title and the track record, she was not taken seriously
by her male peers. In board meetings, her opinions and suggestions
were ignored, dismissed, or even ridiculed. Male board members
minced no words in their judgment, pronouncing her guilty of thinking
like a woman.
Since the sales force was almost entirely female, Mary Kay thought
that thinking like a woman was an asset. But her fellow board members
disagreed. Finally, in frustration, she retired in 1963, intending to write
a book to assist women in the male-dominated business. Sitting at
her kitchen table, she made two lists: one list was all the good things
she had seen in the companies where shed worked, and the other list
was all the things she thought could be improved. As she re-read her
lists, she realized that what she had in front of her was a marketing
plan for her ideal company. In just four weeks, her book had become
a business plan, and her retirement was over.
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Both her accountant and her attorney did their best to discourage
her, warning that she would be throwing her money away on this
venture. But Mary Kay had heard enough male nay-saying in her
corporate yearsshe ignored her advisors. Her husband, unlike her
accountant and attorney, was very supportive. With his help, Mary Kay
developed cosmetic products, designed packaging, wrote promotional
materials and recruited and trained her female sales force.
Then the unthinkable happened; her husband of twenty-one years
died of a heart attack. Another woman might have dropped her plans,
or at least delayed them, but Mary Kay was a strong Texas woman.
She stayed on track with the help of her twenty-year-old son, Richard
Rogers, and rolled out her new business in September of 1963.
Beginning with a storefront in Dallas and an investment of $5,000, Mary
Kay Cosmetics earned close to $200,000 in its frst yearquadrupling
that amount in its second year. When Mary Kay took her company
public in 1968, sales had climbed to more than $10 million.
Mary Kays unusual corporate motto, God frst, family second,
career third, was unconventional, to say the least. But she understood
the need for women to have balance in their lives, and she was
committed to providing unlimited opportunity for womens fnancial
AND personal success. Mary Kay authored three books, all of which
became best-sellers. Her business model is taught at the Harvard
Business School. She received many honors, including the Horatio
Alger Award. Fortune magazine has named Mary Kay Cosmetics as
one of the Ten Best Companies for Women, as well as one of The
100 Best Companies to Work for in America.
At the time of her death in 2001, Mary Kay Cosmetics had 800,000
independent beauty consultants in 37 countries, with total annual sales
of over two billion dollars.
Never underestimate the power of a woman with a mission!
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THE ART OF GIVING
Rivers do not drink their own water, nor do tree eat their own
fruit, nor do rain clouds eat the grains reared by them.
The wealth of the noble is used solely for the beneft of others
Let us answer a few questions about giving;
The frst question is When should one give?
A famous incident from Mahabharata. Yudhisthira, asks a beggar
seeking alms to come the next day. On this, Bhima rejoices that
Yudhisthira, his brother, had conquered death! For he was sure that he
would be around the next day to give. Yudhisthira gets the message.
One does not know really whether one will be there tomorrow to give!
The time to give therefore is now.
The second question is How much to give?
One recalls the famous incident from history. Rana Pratap was
reeling after defeat at the hands of Mughals. He had lost his army,
lost his wealth, and most important he had lost hope, his will to fght.
At that time, in his darkest hour, his erstwhile minister, Bhamasha
came seeking him and placed his entire fortune at the disposal of
Rana Pratap. With this, Rana Pratap raised an army and lived to fght
another day. The answer to this question how much to give is Give
as much as you can.
The next question is What to give?
It is not only money that can be given. It could be a fower or even
a smile. It is not how much one gives but how one gives that really
matters. When you give a smile to a stranger, that may be the only good
thing received by him in days and weeks! You can give anything
but you must give with your heart.
One also needs answer to this question Whom to give?
Many times we avoid giving by fnding fault with the person who
is seeking. However, being judgmental and rejecting a person on the
presumption that he may not be the most deserving is not justifed.
Give without being judgmental.
Next we have to answer How to give.
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Coming to the manner of giving, one has to ensure that the
receiver does not feel humiliated, nor the giver feels proud by giving.
In giving follow the Bible Let not your left hand know what your right
hand gives. Charity without publicity and fanfare, is the highest form
of charity. Give quietly
While giving, let not the recipient feel small or humiliated. After all
what we give never really belonged to us. We come to this world with
nothing and will go with nothing. The thing gifted was only with us for
a temporary period. Why then take pride in giving away something
which really did not belong to us? Give with grace and with a feeling
of gratitude.
What should one feel after giving?
We all know the story of Eklavya. When Dronacharya asked him
for his right thumb as Guru Dakshina, he unhesitatingly cut off the
thumb and gave it to Dronacharya. There is a little known sequel to
this story. Eklavya was asked whether he ever regretted the act of
giving away his thumb. He replied, and the reply has to be believed
to be true, as it was asked to him when he was dying. His reply was
Yes I regretted this only once in my life. It was when Pandavas were
coming in to kill Dronacharya who was broken hearted on the false
news of death of his son Ashwathama and had stopped fghting. It was
then that I regretted the loss of my thumb. If the thumb was there, no
one could have dared hurt my Guru The message to us is clear.
Give and never regret giving.
And the last question is How much should we provide for our
heirs?
Ask yourself are we taking away from them the gift of work - a
source of happiness! The answer is given by Warren Buffett: Leave
your kids enough to do anything, but not enough to do nothing.
Lets conclude with a quote by Sant Kabir:
When the wealth in the house increases, When water flls a boat,
Throw them out with both hands, This is the wise thing to do.
May we all practice the art of giving !
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HOW TO FEEL MORE POWERFUL
By Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D.
In the animal kingdom, alphas signal their dominance through body
movement and posture. Human beings are no different. The most
powerful guy in the room is usually the one whose physical movements
are most expansive - legs apart, leaning forward, arms spread wide
while he gestures. Hes the CEO who isnt afraid to swing his feet up
onto the conference room table, hands behind his head and elbows
jutting outward, confdent in his power to spread himself out however
he damn well pleases.
The nervous, powerless person holds himself very differently - he
makes himself physically as small as possible: shoulders hunched,
feet together, hands in his lap or arms wrapped protectively across
his chest. Hes the guy in the corner who is hoping he wont be called
on, and often is barely noticed. We adopt these poses unconsciously,
and they are perceived (also unconsciously) by others as indictors
of our status. But a new set of studies by Dana Carney, Amy Cuddy,
and Andy Yap reveals that the relationship between power and posing
works in both directions. In other words, holding powerful poses can
actually make you more powerful.
In their studies, posing in high power positions not only created
psychological and behavioral changes typically associated with
powerful people, it created physiological changes characteristic of
the powerful as well. High power posers felt more powerful, were
more willing to take risks, and experienced signifcant increases in
testosterone along with decreases in cortisol (the bodys chemical
response to stress.) If you want more power - not just the appearance
of power, but the genuine feeling of power - then spread your limbs
wide, stand up straight, and lean into the conversation. Carry yourself
like the guy in charge, and in a matter of minutes your body will start
to feel it, and you will start to believe it.
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Hypnotique Circle (Madras)
Heartily invites all its Members and Guests for the
Monthly Meeting on Sunday, the 11th May 2014
at Hotel Palmgrove, Kodambakkam High Road, Chennai - 34
* Free for Members * Guest Investment Rs 150/-
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If undelivered, please return to :
Mr. J.UMEDMAL BAFNA, Old # 2, New # 3, Akbar Sahib St, Triplicane,
Chennai - 600005. Mobile : 98415 34999
Printed at Shakthi Printers - +91-94449 20003
2.29 pm : Welcome Address
2.35 pm : Self In(tro)duction by Members and Guests
2.45 pm : Brain Based Living - Dr Samuel Johnson.K
Asst Prof. Learning Research Center, VIT B School
4.15 pm : Tea
6.00 pm : Mass Relaxation - Ms Komala, HIV Counsellor