1.What is a similarity between Mobile & Marriage?

""Kash thode din ruk jaata to achha Model mil jaata...!!!""

2.1960 girl : Pehla phela pyaar hai chhai bahar hai,

aja sajna tera intzar hai.

2003 girl : dusara/tisra pyar hai,

dil bekrar hai,
aja more sajna verna chautha tayyar hai.

3.Safed sari par tum laal bhindi lagti ho,

Khuda kasam bilkool ambulance nazar aati ho,

Farak yeh hai ki woh ghayal ko lekar jati hai,

Aur tum ghayal kar jati ho

4.shaadi karni thi par kismat khuli nahi.

taj mahal banana tha par mumtaz mili nahin.
ek, din kismat khuli shadi huyi.
ab taj banana hai-par mumtaz marti nahin.

5.A SARDAR BUYS 4 TYRES BCOZ THEY WERE CHEAP.

HIS WIFE SHOUTS, WHY DID U BUY TYRES,

WHEN WE DONT HAVE A CAR.

SARDAR SHOUTED BACK,

DO I SAY ANYTHING WHEN U BUY BRA......................?.

6.SANTA:What do you think of women?

BANTA:They are all sex objects....

SANTA:Why?

BANTA:When I ask them for sex,

they object !!

7.He : Andar Gaya?

She : Ha.. Gaya.
He : Dukha Kya?
She : Zara bhi nahi.
He : Aur Ek Baar?
She : Ab isme Daalo.
He : Achha laga?
She : Haa..Bahoot. . . .
He : OK.MADAM KA SANDLE PACK KARO....

8.Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?

Just to confirm whether

he is going to or coming back from the office

9.Harbhajan Singh gets married.

During suhag raat

he asks his wife " r u a virgin ?"

she replies " kar di na sardaron wali baat,

Spinner ko kabhi nayi ball mili hai ...

10.Ansoo tere nikale to aankhein meri ho,

Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho,

Khuda kare ki apni dosti itni gehari ho,

Baap tu bane to Mehanat meri ho !!.

11.Every organisation is like a coconut tree

full of monkeys. ones at the top can only

see monkeys below them and ones at the bottom see only

assholes above them.

12.
Q. Why is a cow always sad?

A. How would u feel if some one wakes you up

very early in the morning to rub your
tits for 2 hours and not Fu*k U!!

13.I am in hospital now.

After 5 minutes, I will be transfered to a surgery room.

The doctor told me, I will die if I stop RECEIVING YOUR SMS.

14.A prostitute's nursery rhyme:

One two lets screw,

Three four I'm a whore,

Five six suck the dick,

Seven eight ejaculate,

Nine ten fuck me again.

15.John asks his grandpa:"Do you still have sex with granny?"

Grandpa:"Yes,but only oral."

John says:"What is oral?"

Grandpa:"I say F~ck you,and she says:F~ck you 2.".

16.Thought 4 the day!

save water take bath with neighbours daughter

17.Q:- Why is waist called a waist?

Ans:-
Becoz anything above
The pussy n below the tits Is a �waste�.

18.A body was found with no brain and a small penis...

Text message me back to let me know your ok.

19.FACT: A Woman can guide a 1.5" diameter penis

into a 1" diameter vagina in the dark without looking
but can't park a 6ft car in a 8ft space in daylight!

20.Wats wrong with ur neck? Earlier I took a viagra,

it got stuck in my throat, had a stiff neck all day!

21.As long as we have memories, yesterday remains,

as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits.
As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.

22.A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this,

she got out off hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted,
"I told you not to go doggy style."

23.A good friend is like a computer.

I "Enter" your life, "Save" you in my heart,
"Format" your problems,
"Shift" you 2 opportunities & never "Delete" you from my memory!

24.A wife asks hubby how many woman he had slept with?
Husband proudly replies "Only You Darling, with others I was awake."

25.A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running.
No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants
down.

26.A friend is never a coincidence in your life,

they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter.
So, I will treasure the friendship between us.
27.A baby dog asks mama dog how papa looks like.
Mama dog said: "Your dad came from behind,
I do not have the chance to see its face carefully!"

28.One day there was this naked man and elephant,

the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds,
ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?"

29.A friend is sweet when it is new.

But it is sweeter when it is true. But do you know that?
It is the SWEETEST when it is YOU!

30.The one who invented alphabets was a genius.

But he made a silly mistake by keeping "U" and "I" so far.

31.4 sounds women make during sex.

1) asthmatic - ah.ahh.ah..ah. 2) obedient - yes.yes..yes.
3) unsatisfied - more. more...more. 4) religious - oh god. oh god.

32.A friend is always welcome. Early in the morning or late at night.

Time is of no importance. When it concerns real friendship!

33.What does a woman av in common wiv a tornado?..

They both scream when they r cummin and take your house n car when they leave!

34.Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook
searching..... searching..... searching.....
sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!

35.What did one male elephant say to the another

when they saw a female elephant????
" WOW!! Look at her! 36000,24000,36000 ".