March - April 2013 70

Do the expressions on these faces convey something to you?

71 March - April 2013
DYSSEMIA
Searching for
meaning beyond
words
Dealing with
If they do, it may be hard for you to imagine what 10% of all adults and children
who have dyssemia go through. Dyssemics can neither decipher facial expressions
nor use them appropriately. They also have no understanding of the tone and
pitch of voice. According to Albert Mehrabian, who has conducted extensive
research on non-verbal communication, we decode anothers feeling or emotion
by relying 55% on their facial expressions, 38% on tone of voice and only 7% on
words. Imagine the dyssemics plight communication and social interactions go
awry as he receives and sends skewed non-verbal signals!
Children who just do not get it
Clinical psychologists and academicians
Stephen Norwicki and Marshall P. Duke coined
the term dyssemia to dene trouble with
non-verbal cues in communication. They
also developed a test, called the Diagnostic
Analysis of Nonverbal Accuracy (DANVA) to
assess dyssemia, by breaking down non-verbal
communication abilities (see next page).
Peers and adults nd children with dyssemia
irritating and weird. Social interactions are
tedious for children with dyssemia. They are
often alienated and frustrated, as most of
their efforts to be friendly backre. Left with
a feeling that they have no control over how
others treat them, dyssemic children end up
feeling powerless and apathetic.
March - April 2013 72
Kinesics: aspects of body movement
Emblems Holding up palm to indicate wait
Illustrators Using hands to show how big
something is
Affect displays Frowning to show anger
Regulators Nodding ones head during a
conversation
Adaptors Tapping a pen on the table to
vent restlessness
Posture Slumping shoulders when tired
or bored
A child with dyssemia is incapable of
reading what these little signs mean and
may also misinterpret them he may also
read friendly gestures as malicious ones.
Proxemics: understanding of how we use
and manage personal space (in the context
of a given culture).
A child with dyssemia may often stand
too close to others since he does not
realise when he encroaches on anothers
personal space.
Vocalics: use of the voice and vocal sounds
(not words)
Volume A loud voice to show anger
Pace of speech Fast speech when excited
Intonation Tonal differences (for example,
the rise in tone at the end of a statement
turns it into a question.)
Pitch High pitch used when nervous
Segregate Use of uh-huh, hmm (to
indicate interest) and shh and silence/
pauses (to indicate boredom)
Children with dyssemia speak fast,
in high pitched, loud voices. They are
unable to associate pauses or lack of
hmms to disinterest or boredom.
Haptics: understanding of comfort zones
for touch (dependent on culture) and
associated intentions (holding someone by
the waist denotes intimacy)
Children with dyssemia are known to
touch others in an irritating manner.
They are also unable to decipher
different touches a shove by a peer
who does not want their company.
Objectics: Style of dress - knowledge of the
aptness of different outts for various social
scenarios.
Children with dyssemia do not dress
appropriately for a situation and often look
out of place or awkward.
Non-Verbal Communication: all the
things left unsaid
March - April 2013 72
73 March - April 2013
Dr. Jaishree Ramakrishnan, consultant
psychologist and member of ParentEdges
Panel of Experts, who has worked closely with
dyssemic children, says, Many a time, these
children are labelled blunt or sarcastic because
their words, their expressions and physical
demonstrations do not go hand in hand. They
may wish someone Happy Birthday but their
intonation may make it appear insincere or
sarcastic. Individuals with dyssemia also have
challenges in managing their impulsiveness. If
a teacher arrives ve minutes late for the class,
the child with dyssemia will immediately blurt
out, Do you know you are late?
Often, the childs symptoms are termed as
bad behaviour. Punishment is doled out to
teach the child a lesson or keep him in
line. A vicious cycle is triggered.
Dyssemia, if left unmanaged, will continue
into adulthood as well, and interfere in
the individuals workplace life as well as
social life.
Struggling to make sense of the world
Parvathi* is a 33-year-old HR professional
who received a diagnosis of dyssemia only
in her adulthood; in her case, frustration,
despair and loneliness led to clinical
depression. Parvathi faced many problems
while growing up, which, she now realises,
were signs of her dyssemia. I did not
understand the world at all. I was reported
to say one thing and do something else or
blow hot and blow cold. In spite of all this,
if I made friends, I could not keep them.
She could not turn for acceptance or help
to her mother who was a perfectionist - a
critical and autocratic parent.
Rekhas* daughter Neha* was diagnosed
with dyssemia when she was in Grade Ten.
Her teacher expressed concern that she
had social difculties. She was aloof, and is
said to have overreacted to normal teasing.
Much earlier, when the child went to
preschool in the US, she did have problems
getting along with a few children; however,
these were not mapped to dyssemia. The
emotional tantrums she threw from when
she was a seven-year-old were put down to
adjustment problems because of relocating
to India. As a teenager, Neha was different.
She did not do the things parents of other
girls were reporting - spending long hours on
the telephone or showing interest in boys.
Must-Dos for parents
Keep a close eye on your childs social
skills development
Just as you track a babys motor skills
development (crawling, standing with
support), and a primary schoolers scholastic
milestones (naming the planets, reading
independently), you should also chart your
childs social skills progress. (see Box)
Causes of Dyssemia
Neurological disorders 5%
Emotional diffculties or trauma that
derail social development 10%
A lack of appropriate situations and
experiences to learn non-verbal
language 85%
Social skills and Non-verbal
skills - Milestones
1 year - responds to his own name and
imitates simple actions of others
2 years - refers to himself by name and
can recognise self in mirror or picture
3 years - plays near other children, and
knows his gender identity, learns to
label emotional expressions
4 years - actively plays with other
children conceals emotions in
expression, able to falsify expression of
emotion
5 years - interacts with other children
and dramatic pretend play now features
specifc details
6 years - chooses his own friends
and plays competitive games and
cooperative play with them, reads facial
cues of like and dislike
*
Names have been changed to protect identity.
73 March - April 2013
March - April 2013 74
Bring behavioural patterns to the
attention of professionals rather than
labelling them yourself
Dr. Ramakrishnan explains, When guests visit,
children with dyssemia may not receive them
appropriately do not assume this as stranger
anxiety. When the child starts school, if he
says he does not have any friends, dont always
attribute it to shyness or the initial difculties
of settling down at school.
Parents misreading signs is the primary
reason for delays in diagnosis. The average
age of diagnosis is 11 years, which is late
when compared to the age of diagnosis of
other learning disabilities.
Look out for other disabilities and
conditions
Dyssemia may also occur along with other
learning disabilities; this is called co-
morbidity. When a child has both dyslexia
and dyssemia, she faces trouble with
schoolwork (reading and writing) as well as
making friends and being accepted by the
other children. If a child with dyssemia also
has dysgraphia, she is likely to be ridiculed
as butterngers for her clumsiness and
indecipherable written work.
Parvathi had trouble with Maths (possible
dyscalculia) and faced a double whammy
Aspergers Syndrome
(AS) and Dyssemia
Also known as high-
functioning autism, individuals
with AS also face diffculty in
social interactions. However,
unlike children with only
Dyssemia, AS children also
have diffculty with language
and verbal communication,
intense interest in some areas
and exceptional talent in music
or maths. Dyssemia is thus one
of the indicators of AS.
of not matching expectations of a high
performing school environment with her
poor social skills. Not all children who have
dyssemia, however, perform poorly at school.
Neha was exceptionally good at academics,
which may have unfortunately prevented
early diagnosis of her disability; the school
did not report anything amiss until she was
in the tenth grade.
How to help the child read between
the lines
Like other learning disabilities, dyssemia
cannot be completely cured, but the child
can be trained to manage the condition.
According to Dr. Ramakrishnan, self-awareness
and self-help are valuable the child has to
understand and apply the techniques the adult
support group (comprising a special educator,
psychologist, parent and teacher) provides.
The process of remediation typically
involves teaching:
Age-appropriate etiquette and reinforcing
the learning through repetition. Skills
such as making polite conversation,
appropriate touch, style of dress may
be imbibed by average children through
observation, but a child with dyssemia
has to be consciously taught such things.
Discrimination of nonverbal cues (how
to differentiate between an angry
expression and a happy one).
Ways to express using nonverbal cues
(nod head to indicate understanding),
either in addition to words, or instead
of words.
March - April 2013 74
75 March - April 2013
Resources
Websites
Links to blogs on non-verbal learning disorders
http://webpages.charter.net/nyssacugan/cgn_00004c.htm
Activity ideas for non-verbal communication
http://www.creducation.org/resources/nonverbal_communication/
classroom_activity_ideas.html
Books
Teaching your child the language of social success and Helping the
child who doesnt ft in by Stephen Nowicki Ph.D. and Marshall P.
Duke, Ph.D.
The Sourcebook of Nonverbal Measures: Going Beyond Words by
Valerie Lynn Manusov
Parents can carry out these simple exercises
with their child:
Make expressions of different
emotions like happiness or sadness
at the child and ask him to arrive at
the meaning.
Play audio tapes of a narrated story
and ask the child to identify the
characters emotions from the voice.
Play a modied game of Dumb
Charades by asking the child
to express his feelings through
nonverbal cues.
Try to conduct as much of a
conversation as possible through
gestures and expressions.
Train the child in the trafc signal
technique (helps both in listening
skills and containing impulsiveness)
RED (Stop) - The child is encouraged to
stop and perceive the situation.
AMBER (Pause) - The child is asked to
analyse the situation.
GREEN (Go) The child is taught to respond,
rather than react.
The importance of intervention
Dr. Ramakrishnan says that there are some
challenges in the treatment and diagnosis
of dyssemia. Because of very low awareness,
parents nd it difcult to accept that their
child has dyssemia. They are in denial and
want another label that does not carry a
social stigma. With adequate cooperation
between parents, teachers and the child,
social inhibitions and impairment can be
done away with, at least to a degree where
the childs everyday life stops being an ordeal.
Neha is aware of her condition, has
read widely about it on the internet
and has learnt how to cope. Now that
she is college, she seems to be realising
more about herself, says Rekha. Though
delayed, the diagnosis of dyssemia has
brought Parvathi a lot of relief, as she
is able to understand herself and others
actions and reactions much better now.
With diagnosis and remediation, both
Parvathi and Neha look forward to
relatively more normal adult lives.
- With inputs from
Jayesha Koushik,
19 years, New Delhi
75 March - April 2013