ASKTHESEXPERT

DR MAHINDER WATSA
1 I am a 32-year-old mar-
ried man. I got married
three months ago and at
that time, we both
planned to have a baby in
a year. A month ago, we
decided to have a baby
this year instead. I had sex
with my wife for two to
three days, but whenever
we have intercourse, my
foreskin covers my penis
and I am not able to do
anything. If I use a con-
dom, there is no problem
at all. I am really in a deep
trouble as my wife is real-
ly upset with me.
To clarify whats happening to
you, please visit a sexologist.
You need to increase frequency.
Your foreskin needs to be
checked.
2 I am a 19-year-old wom-
an and have been having
sex with my boyfriend for
a while now. I get aroused
but, sadly, while indulg-
ing in sex I dont enjoy it
as much as what Ive
heard from people. Its not
that I dont like sex at all
but I dont mind not hav-
ing it either. Please suggest
what I can do about it.
Enjoy what you have. Discuss
with each other how it can be
improved. Stop comparing
with others.
3 My girlfriend took a
contraceptive pill on Feb-
ruary 1 and another in
mid March. We just had
oral sex but I had touched
her vagina, so she took
pills. Then in May, we got
intimate again and did
the same thing but this
time she didn't take the
pill due to side effects. She
got her period in the last
week of May in which she
discharged red fluid for
the first two days and
then her periods stopped
after a final discharge of a
dark brown fluid on the
third day. She hasn't got
her period of June. Also,
she's on TB medication.
Can TB medicines be re-
sponsible for her condi-
tion? Please help.
Why do you continuously
expose her to a pregnancy? Use
a condom. It is so easy to be
worry-free, check her urine
with a pregnancy kit from the
chemist, if positive see a gynae-
cologist.
SEND YOUR QUERIES TO: Ask the
Sexpert, Mumbai Mirror, Times Of India
Building, Dr D N Road, Mumbai 400001
or email at drwatsa@timesgroup.com.
Contact Dr Watsa, send an email to mc-
watsa@hotmail.com
FRIDAY, JULY 4, 2014
WWW.MUMBAIMIRROR.COM/OTHERS/YOU
mirrorfeedback@timesgroup.com
MumbaiMirror 22
YOU
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Hi, Im Mr Right
Dear Bachi,
I am a 20-year-old girl in a fix. I
have had a boyfriend for the last
year-and-a-half. I was attracted to
him to begin with and started dat-
ing him even though I perceived
that he might not be very serious
about carrying on a relationship
long into the future. I too wasn't
sure whether I wanted long-term
commitment either and just went
into the relationship impulsively
because I felt like it at that time.
Though I am sure, I liked him a lot,
more than he did at that point.
However as time progressed, he
started getting all-serious and al-
though it was very flattering in the
beginning, he soon became a nag.
I am very career-centric and he
isn't. I started making excuses to
break-up to begin with. For in-
stance, my parents are against
our relationship, that our vastly
different career graphs might
compel us to separate but I have
realised that essence of the mat-
ter is that I have fallen out of love
with him. Also, I must mention this
relationship was a rebound. I
have been breaking up with him
every few days/months for the
last year or so. However, patch up
each time I cant bear to see him
so upset and hysterical, or when
my own guilt overcomes me. I can
see him slowly realising that I do
not love him but he's desperately
clinging on. I feel guilty for break-
ing up with him. And guilty if I
don't. Please help.
Ms Not-in-Love
Dear Ms Not-in-Love ,
That's a very long and convoluted ques-
tion, but here's a short and simple an-
swer. Walk away without a backward
look. You won't be doing either of you any
favours by flogging what is clearly a dead
horse. If you don't make a clean break to-
day, you're going to break his besotted
heart tomorrow. Actually, don't flatter
yourself. If the fellow has any sense, or
self-respect, he won't jump from the near-
est window. He may not exactly jump for
joy, but he may well end up saying 'Thank
You'. Or even 'Good Riddance'.
You can write to Bachi Karkaria at givinggyan@timesgroup.com
GIVINGGYAN
BACHI KARKARIA
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With their rich iron, Vitamin E and
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Someone said you were looking for
me. Is that flirting or just a bad joke?
A guide to bettering your chances of
identifying a flirtatious gesture
S
hes into me. Shes not. Playing the flirting
game is easy; knowing if you are scoring isnt.
A study conducted by the University of
Kansas isnt good news for lovers. Most men
and women have a difficult time detecting
flirtation, it says. The research, conducted by Dr Jeffrey
Hall, associate professor of Communication Studies
and recognised expert on flirting, says, both genders
often fail to realise when someone is hitting on them
only 36 per cent men and 18 per cent women who
participated in the study correctly identified flirtatious
partners. Surprisingly, they were far more in the know
when their partner wasnt into them more than 80
per cent got this right.
Hall, who is also the author of The Five Flirting
Styles, sums up the biggest takeaway from his studies:
If you think someone is not interested in you, you are
probably right. But if someone is, its possible that you
missed it. The startling disparity between the sexes,
Hall explains thus. Women tend to be more transpar-
ent when it comes to flirtation, so men are better at
guessing their interest.
So how is it that people can judge when their part-
ners are not flirting, but find it tough to say when they
are interested? Behavior that is flirtatious is hard to
see, and there are several reasons why. People arent
going to do it in obvious ways because they dont
Teja Lele Desai mirrorfeedback@timesgroup.com
TWEETS @_MumbaiMirror
PHYSICAL: Involves the expression of
sexual interest through body language.
People with this style often develop rela-
tionships quickly and share more sexual
chemistry with their partners.
POLITE: Focuses on manners and non-
sexual communication. Less likely to
come on to a potential partner, but tend
to have longer, more meaningful romantic
relationships.
PLAYFUL: This style is all about fun and an
ego boost, often with no strings attached.
SINCERE: Sincere flirts have meaningful
relationships that put emotional connec-
tion first, sexual attraction second.
Traditional: These flirts believe men
should make the first move. Traditional fe-
male flirts are less likely to directly ex-
press intentions. Traditional male flirts
tend to know the person long before they
approach her.
Dr Jeffrey Hall in The Five Flirting Styles
WHATS YOUR FLIRTING TYPE?

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