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Count Bunker
by J. Storer Clouston
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COUNT BUNKER
BEING
A BALD YET VERACIOUS CHRONICLE CONTAINING
SOME FURTHER PARTICULARS OF TWO GENTLEMEN
WHOSE PREVIOUS CAREERS WERE TOUCHED UPON
IN A TOME ENTITLED "THE LUNATIC AT LARGE"
BY
J. STORER CLOUSTON
COUNT BUNKER
CHAPTER I
He did not turn his head towards her, and she looked
at him more anxiously.
The Baron left the window and took his wife's plump
hand affectionately within his own broad palm.
"Can I, truthfully?"
"Must you?"
CHAPTER II
"I don't want to, but no man can avoid his destiny.
The natives of this island are a serious people, or if they
are frivolous, it is generally a trifle vulgarly done. The
diversions of the professedly gay-hooting over pointless
badinage and speculating whose turn it is to get
divorced next--become in time even more sobering than
a scientific study with diagrams of how to breed pheasants
or play golf. If some one would teach us the
simple art of being light-hearted he would deserve to
be placed along with Nelson on his monument."
CHAPTER III
"Hang it!"
"But you can be all zat if you try!" said the Baron
eagerly. "Go to Germany and get trained. I did vork
twelve hours a day for ten years to be vat I am."
CHAPTER IV
"No."
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
"Ach! if I could."
"Impossible!"
"I do indeed."
CHAPTER VII
"Oh, I cannot!"
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
"I!"
Aloud he remarked
"You have high ideals, Baron."
"I did drink too moch last night. But I did not
say vat I should not, eh? I vas not rude or gross to--
Mistair Gallosh?"
CHAPTER XII
"I should think not, when he's done you the honor
to invite you out of all his friends!" said Mrs. Gallosh
warmly. "Eva! do you hear the compliment
that's been paid your papa?"
"Oh my, and that candle will not last more than
half an hour at the most!"
CHAPTER XIII
"Ah!"
"Mamma!"
"Rudolph is incapable----"
"None--at least----"
"Ah!"
CHAPTER XIV
With the air of a man doing what was only his duty,
he replied--
Sir Justin grimly pursed his lips, but his silence was
more ominous than speech. In fact, the Baron's
unfortunate effort at realism by the introduction of his
window struck the first blow at his wife's implicit trust
in him. She was evidently a little disconcerted, though
she stoutly declared--
CHAPTER XV
"Ach, so!"
"I vill!"
CHAPTER XVI
CHAPTER XVII
CHAPTER XVIII
"You vould!"
"I have heard they are such nice people, and have
such a beautiful place!"
CHAPTER XIX
"Certainly."
"Sir Justin!"
CHAPTER XX
"Ri! I tell you I'll cry if he looks like any one I've
ever seen before! Don't you remember the Count said
he moved like a pine in his native forests?"
"I am ze chieftain,
Nursed in ze mountains,
Behold me, Mac--ig--ig--ig ish!
CHAPTER XXI
CHAPTER XXII
"Not to-day."
"Well!"
She turned with a shrug and cast her eyes upon the
wall.
The Baron looked into these eyes, and his own mien
altered perceptibly. For an instant he gazed, and then
in a low voice remarked--
"By ze Gad!"
"By ze Gad!"
CHAPTER XXIII
. . . . . .
"Shall I go avay?"
"I did not learn till after you had gone how much
I was to blame for keeping you so long away from
your friends. Please do not think I shall repeat the
offence."
"If you had been kind I did hope zat you vould
allow me to give in your honor an entertainment at
my castle."
The chief bared his arms and seized the handle; his
three clansmen let go; and then, with what seemed to
the breathless spectators to be a merely trifling effort
of strength, he dismissed the projectile upon the most
astounding journey ever seen even in that land of
brawny hammer-hurlers. Up, up, up it soared, over
the trees; high above the topmost turret of the castle,
and still on and on and ever upwards till it became a
mere speck in the zenith, and at last faded utterly from
sight.
"Two to each!"
CHAPTER XXV
"Impossible!" he cried.
"It is true!"
"Name her!"
CHAPTER XXVI
"Alone?"
"I do indeed."
"Undoubtedly."
"It's a fact!"
Bonker pondered.
CHAPTER XXVII
. . . . . .
CHAPTER XXVIII
"Mackenzie, sir."
CHAPTER XXIX
CHAPTER XXX
"Oh, do!"
"Did he really?"
CHAPTER XXXI
"Certainly, sir."
Sir Justin turned his back, and the door closed upon
him again.
CHAPTER XXXII
The clearness of the Count's conscience may be
gauged when it is narrated that no sooner
had he dismissed the stump of his cigar toward
the grate than he dropped into a peaceful
doze and remained placidly unconscious of his perils
for the space of an hour or more. He was then awakened
by the sound of a key being gently turned, and
his opening eyes rested upon a charming vision of Julia
Wallingford framed in the outline of the door.
He thought swiftly.
"I--I'll try."
CHAPTER XXXIII
"It is a lie!"
"A lie?"
Ri laughed scornfully.
"Oh, yes."
"A baronetcy!"
"Yes!" he declared.
Eleanor screamed.
"Which, sir?"
CHAPTER XXXIV
CHAPTER XXXV
"Certainly I do not."
"She knows you all right," said the millionaire.
CHAPTER XXXVI
"Don't move!"
"Eleanor Maddison!"
"Never--oh, never!"
"Yes--yes--it is me."
"Miss Maddison!"
"Miss Gallosh!"
The Baron felt his arms freed now; but still his
Alicia waited an answer. It came at last, but not from
the Baron's lips.
CHAPTER XXXVII
"His excuse?"
"Oh, no!"
EPILOGUE
"The Baroness?"
"Her mozzer."
"Completely."
"Vat of ze Maddisons?"
. . . . . .