Holy Hell Fact or Fiction

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Holy Hell

Fact or Fiction ?


TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction ......................................................................................................................... 2
An Attorney's review of 'Holy Hell' by Gail (aka Gayatri) ................................ 5
Gail Tredwell and Jessi Hoffman conspire to create Holy Hell ...................... 6
Gail Tredwells false accusation of rape on Swamiji (Balu) ........................... 7
Facts about Gail and Gails life at Ammas ashram ............................................. 8
Conclusions ........................................................................................................................ 13
What others say about Amma ................................................................................... 14
References .......................................................................................................................... 15

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Introduction


Gail Tredwell has written a book (titled Holy Hell: A memoir of faith, devotion and pure
madness) which she describes as a memoir of her life. But her concocted story is now
starting to fall apart. It turns out that Gail has omitted many key facts from her story.
She paints a very different picture of herself than the way others remember her. When these
hidden facts and remembrances are brought to light, Gail Tredwell turns out to be an
unreliable witness on the subject of Gail Tredwell. More than a memoir of faith and
devotion, her book seems more on the lines of pure madness.

If Gails book is about honestly sharing her life and experiences, why were these major
incidents left out from her book? What else is she hiding? If the incidents of abuse and
misconduct presented in the book were truly experienced and witnessed by Ms. Gail Tredwell
beginning in the mid-1980s, as she alleges, why are there so many apparent
contradictions? There are questions/contradictions galore some of which are given below,


Q1 .
Why did it take Gail so many years to come out with this book - 18 years to
leave Ammas ashram and another 15 years after leaving ashram, to write her book
? Why did Gail create the fictional entity Wattle Tree Press, when in reality
no such entity exits? Why does Gail not mention about her association with
Jessi Hoffman, a professional ghostwriter, who is both Anti-religious as well as
Anti-Amma? What is the hidden conspiracy behind Gail and her writing this
book?



Q2 .
Is there any truth at all in Gails accusation of serial rape by Swamiji (earlier
name Balu), when in fact Gail had no memory of being sexually abused until Gail
received a specific suggestion from her so called counselor?



Q3 .
Why does Gail not mention her widely documented predilection for verbal
and physical abuse of women and children in the ashram? Is Gail trying to hide
her sadistic nature?




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Q4 .
Why does Gail not mention the personal attendants she had and the comforts
she enjoyed in the ashram? Why does she not mention the fact that she had
relinquished all her duties and begun refraining from work years before departure?
Why did she hide all this in the book? Was it to attract false sympathy from the
readers?



Q5 .
Why does Gail not mention the fact that she received help (in cash and kind
even including two years health insurance) from Amma and Ashram even
after leaving Ashram? Why did she, after leaving the ashram, write a letter of
goodwill to all ashram residents, telling them to remain on their path with Amma?



Q6 .
Whereas on one hand there still are proofs of her recorded videos and talks about
the divinity she sees and feels in Amma and Ammas love (see youtube link in
references), what prompted her to write a book in which she now accuses Amma
and the ashram? How can the same Gail praise Amma in the highest possible
terms in her talks before leaving ashram and then malign Amma after
leaving ashram does she suffer from personality disorders? Was she lying then,
or is she lying now? The only thing certain is that she knows how to lie
convincingly.



Q7 .
Why does Gail not talk about the romantic feelings she had towards an
American man, even while she was a Sannyasini (Monk)? Why does she not
mention that she had proposed marriage to this same man even before leaving the
ashram?



Q8 .
Why does Gail make false claims of having lived in Ammas room for 20 years?
Why have several people described in the book come forward to say that Gail lied
about them in her book? Some of these people, like Gail, have moved on from
ashram life and yet they strongly dispute her version of events - why?




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Q9 .
If Gail had to leave the ashram as a fugitive and go into hiding, why did she
then move into the house of Ammas close devotee and stay there free for a
year? Why did she give her home phone number to the ashram and spend a week
visiting with senior ashram representatives just one month after she left?



Q10 .
If Gail is such an honest person, why did she choose to commit marriage
fraud and lie repeatedly to the U.S. Immigration authorities in order to obtain
citizenship? If she has demonstrated that she will lie under oath to get what she
wants, why should we believe her now?

Read on to find more facts about Gail, her life in ashram, her personality and the motive
behind her book ..

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An Attorney's review of 'Holy Hell' by Gail (aka Gayatri)

Book review from Jay Cumming (Senior Research Attorney, California Supreme Court)

In the book, Gayatri(aka Gail) comes across to the reader as jealous, vengeful,
stubborn, calculating, petty, self-concerned, and insecure- a person who too
often indulges in self-pity and faultfinding, who frequently compares herself to
others, who worries that the world is being unfair to her. Just one of many
examples Gayatri readily admits to the reader that, at that profound
moment of donning the ochre cloth, she was obsessed with petty concerns
about whether the alms she had received were as good as the alms the other
initiates had received. Gayatri says that, One day during a healing session the
lady counselor exclaimed - Oh, you have been sexually abused. It was only after
this that Gail came to know that She was sexually abused. In other words, until
Gayatri received a specific suggestion from her counselor, she had no
memory of being sexually abused.

It is unclear what these statements signify, but if any of the recollections
recorded in Gayatris book are the product of recovered-memory therapy, then
there is good reason to question their validity. Gayatri admits in her book that
she might have conjured up false versions of reality. This is a very important
point. Significantly, a large portion of Gayatris book is not objective fact
but her subjective and speculative theories about what the objective facts
reveal theories that include serial rape by Ammas leading swami (Swami
Amritaswarupananda) and also a jealous love triangle involving that Swami,
Gayatri, and Amma. Here, the book fails to persuade, and therefore it comes
across to the objective reader as gossipy and vindictive.

The facts Gail omits from her story suggest that her speculative theories are
simply wrong. For example, she does not relate that just weeks after she left
Ammas ashram in November of 1999, she visited a devotees private home and
stayed there for a week with several senior people from the ashram, including
Swami Amritaswarupananda (Swamiji, earlier name Balu) . During that
week, she considered returning to the ashram, but she chose instead to go to
Hawaii. A year later, she prepared a large jar of lemon pickle especially for
Swamiji, and she had it sent to him. The gift was delivered, but Swamiji
declined to accept it. Such facts undermine Gayatris description of Swamiji
as a serial rapist whom she feared and from whom she had to flee. They
also undermine Gayatris story of a harrowing escape from an authoritarian
guru-led cult.
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On the contrary, just a few weeks after Gayatris high-drama escape, she
voluntarily stayed in a private home with several of the most senior people from
the ashram, she discussed the possibility of returning to the ashram, and, after
she chose instead to leave the ashram, the senior leaders of the ashram drove
her to the airport to see her off. When one knows these additional facts and
then reads Gayatris version of the story, one is unsure what to conclude,
but one cannot help wondering if Gayatri fills the role of the scorned
woman deeply in love with Swamiji, intensely jealous of his devotion to
Amma, and therefore imagining a base love affair between the two.

Each of us must decide for himself or herself whether to admire Amma as a role
model or to reject her as a fraud. But in making that decision, we should be
honest and fair. Many of Gayatris supporters have been quick to spread
unsubstantiated slander about Amma and the ashram, ignoring all that is
clearly good that Amma has done, and that she has inspired others to do. But
Gayatris memoir will not result in Ammas downfall. Rather, Amma will
continue her work, and a day may even come when Gayatri rejoins Ammas
global mission. On that day, Amma will welcome her back with open arms
and with complete acceptance and understanding.

Gail Tredwell and Jessi Hoffman conspire to create Holy Hell !

The hidden motives behind Jessi and Gail's malicious attack on Amma
The hidden motives behind Jessi and Gail's malicious attack on Amma

Gail Tredwells self published book (Holy Hell), about her memories of Amma,
was edited by Jessi Hoffman, a ghostwriter and editor. Jessi Hoffman also
operates under the hidden cyber-identity of Bronte Baxter.

Baxter/Hoffman believes that all the gods and goddesses of Hinduism and
other religions are actually evil alien beings! Hoffman is not just Anti-Amma
but Anti-religious also. Bronte Baxter runs an anti-Amma group online and is
also the instigator/moderator of the "members only" Yahoo group "Ex-
Amma". Baxter/Hoffman conveniently uses various platforms to malign and
discredit Amma and promote Tredwell's agenda. For 14 years after Gail
Tredwell left Amma's ashram, she mentioned nothing to anyone about her
alleged experience of murder/stealing/rape/love triangles while serving as a
personal attendant to Amma. Only after Gail formed a working relationship
with the trained copywriter Jessi Hoffman, she suddenly came out with
these outlandish accusations.
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Gail Tredwells false accusation of rape on Swamiji (Balu)

None of the following were mentioned anywhere in Gails book (Holy Hell)
It is quite clear that Gails accusations of serial rape by Swamiji are
blasphemous lies. Apparently Gail never knew or remembered that she had been
raped. Suddenly, one fine day her counselor revealed to her that she was
sexually abused in past. It was only after getting this suggestion from her
counselor that Gail realized of having been sexually abused. There is
absolutely no logical basis to accuse someone based on suggestions by a so
called counselor. Moreover, Gail admits in her book that she might have
conjured up false versions of reality. Multiple witnesses, including people who
no longer live in the ashram, have come forward to state for the record that Gail
Tredwell lied about them in her book.

No sane woman would go to the extent of presenting a special gift to
someone who raped her! A year after leaving ashram, Gail prepared a large jar
of lemon pickle especially for Swamiji, and had it sent to him. Why would any
sane woman send a gift to her rapist? Such facts undermine Gayatris
description of Swamiji as a serial rapist whom she feared and from whom
she had to flee. In all her time staying with devotees and relying on a circle of
friends in Hawaii in the years after leaving the ashram, Gail never
mentioned about rape or sexual misconduct. So where from has this new
accusation sprung forth all of a sudden?

Another shocking fact that is completely unknown to many, but known to
few like Kusuma (one of the western residents in ashram since 1983) is that it
was quite common for Gail to sleep with many men while she was working as a
secretary in Perth (Australia) before joining the ashram. In Kusumas own
words, One of the first things Gail told me about herself when I met her at
Ammas ashram in 1983 was about a competitive game she used to play as a
young woman in Australia. Gail said that when she was living in Perth and
working as a secretary, she and the other young women in the secretarial
pool would play a game they called, Catch a Tiger By the Tail. The game
involved going out on the town each night and trying to get a different man to
sleep with them; the winner being the girl who got the most men to sleep
with her that week. I guess this is what Gail is referring to in her book when
she writes partying my nights away. Gail was chuckling with evident pride as
Holy Hell Fact or Fiction
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she recounted these exploits to me. Having just met Gail, I was shocked Based
on all these facts one can very well judge the character of Gail.

Facts about Gail and Gails life at Ammas ashram

None of the following were mentioned anywhere in Gails book (Holy Hell)
1. Right from day one, Amma showered a lot of attention and love on Gail (aka
Gayatri, who hailed from Australia).When Gail first came to see Amma, she
didnt even have an extra set of clothes. At that time, there was no ashram,
only Ammas family home. Regardless, without even inquiring into her
name, place or background, Amma accepted Gail completely, entrusting
her with all responsibilities. From that day onwards, till the day she left the
ashram, Gail lived as a queen. She ruled over Ammas parents, sisters,
brothers, relatives, devotees, ashram residents, even Ammas disciples.

2. In her own words, Swamini Krishnamrita, earlier name Soumya (who also
belonged to Australia and came to Ashram around same time as Gail) says, I
was there at the same time as Gail was. I had the same access. It is
inconceivable that I would not have seen anything over all those years. I can
clearly state that I have never witnessed the slightest indiscretion on
Ammas part either in her conduct with the Swamis or with Gail.

3. Gail had issues right from the beginning of her stay and was a very difficult
person. Gail would constantly lie and physically abuse residents to get
things her way. She was nicknamed Queen Bee. Gail used to grab kids by
their hair, throw them on the ground and laugh. Most of other ashramites
doubted her mental stability. Gail was seen physically abusing some of the
Indian girls in public.

4. Gail was known for her materialistic demands and keeping several
attendants. Ammas devotees respected Gail and welcome her in a
traditional manner - even performing her padapuja (traditional feet washing
ceremony). Both Indian and western residents used to bring Indian food to
her. There were people to wash her clothes and People to massage her
too.
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5. It is also a matter of public record that Gail suffered from intense bouts of
jealousy towards Ammas senior disciples and devotees as well. Gail herself
admitted this and wrote about these difficulties in Ashrams spiritual
magazine Matruvani (1993), explaining how her jealousy was so intense
thatit led her to pull out her own hair, to self-induce vomiting, and to
even try to scratch off her own skin.

6. Gail also admits in her writings that this jealousy at times clouded her
thinking to the extent that she could not stop herself from making
accusations that she actually knew to be NOT true. This is a very
important point to be noted and gives a deep insight into the unstable nature
of Gails mind.

7. Many of ashram girls were first hand victims to Gail's irrational onset of
anger, violent attacks and sadistic behavior. Gail would physically hit
others, kick them, pinch them, pull their hairs and bully others. She
would not even hesitate to spit on others faces. Once she even threw a hot
iron on Lakshmi (who now has been serving Amma for last 19 years). Many
devotees in Europe and U.S. bore witness to these incidents. The younger
girls would become completely frightened of her and hide themselves in dark
and cry. Gail would make fun of people and mock at them - right in front
of their faces. No one was exempt from her immature behavior, including the
Swamis. If anyone directly criticized her, even if it was for a good reason, she
would immediately react towards them with an unusual viciousness and
display of emotion.


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8. Gail would use abusive language that would inflict maximum pain to
other girls in Ashram. On some occasions She was found yelling at others in
foul language in a very angry and violent manner
a. Clean the kitchen, you lazy bums!.
b. Get up, lazy bones!
c. Why dont you just cut off your breasts and pretend youre a boy

9. Gail would not show any respect towards Amma or senior
monks(Swamis). On one occasion she told another girl - You favor the
swamis anyways. Go kiss their asses!. Once Gail irreverently used her feet
to get the attention of one of the monks. In an another incident, one day
Swami Parmatmananda (earlier name Neelu) was lying down in the hut
with a debilitating migraine headache, and felt very thirsty. At that time, Gail
was cleaning the floor with an old rag. Swami asked her for some water since
he could not easily get up. Gails mood instantly changed and she shouted at
Swami and then threw the dirty wet rag at Swamis face.

10. As years passed by She became blatantly disrespectful towards Amma
and talked negatively about the Ashram.It was common for her to use such
words as bastard and bitch to refer to senior monks and those
around her.

11. Gail made show alarming disregard for Ammas well -being. Even
after some of the following heart wrenching attempts, Amma never spoke
about all incidents to others.
a. Once in Sweden, Gail rowed the boat into deep waters even though
Amma pleaded her not to take boat out so deep. She then toppled the
boat in which she and Amma alone were there, with the intention of
drowning Amma, but somehow Amma escaped the worst
b. Gail made curry for Amma with poisonous mushrooms even after
repeated pleas from other ashramites to not do so. After eating that
curry Amma kept vomiting for next two days
c. Gail gave Amma a much higher dose of medicine than had been
prescribed making Amma sick to stomach, tired and giddy

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12. Gail left Ammas ashram because she wanted to fulfillpersonal desires
that were not in line with the formal monasticvows she had taken up as a
sannyasini (Monk). The man that Gail was interested in told Amma that
Gails interest in him began in 1994. Gail clearly exhibited a desire to be in
his presence and would often come to chat with him on the tours or call him
from Amritapuri ashram. Gail openly admitted that she had romantic
feelings for him and wanted to start an affair. She even suggested that
they could get married and settle down. This man was shocked and deeply
disturbed by her confession. Even after he did his best to remind Gail of
her dharma (duty) as a sannyasini, Gail did not relent.

13. Finally Gail did not get married to the man She loved initially. In 2004
Gail married another man and divorced him in 2011. This is a matter of
legal record.

14. Gail had a fake marriage with a homosexual man. Gail herself had
told one of the ashram residents that she had arranged the marriage in
order to stay in Hawaii since, being an Australian citizen, she would not be
allowed to stay in the U.S. for such a long time otherwise. She said that she
and her husband had to go for formal interviews every now. She repeatedly
lied to the US Immigration authorities also. This makes it quite clear as to
how adept Gail is in lying and twisting the facts.

15. For first full year upon her departure,Gail was provided with free
room and board in the house of an Amma devotee, and her circle of friends
was constituted of devotees as well. Even after showing such disrespect and
disregard towards Amma, Amma tried to help her financiallyand through
various devotees.


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16. Gail received a considerable financial support from the ashram and
from devotees to help her get established after she left. A few Dubai (Middle
East) devotees collected some money and essential household items, which
upon Ammas instruction, was transferred to Gail through Swami
Amritaswarupananda to help her get started. Gail happily accepted all
these gifts and did not reject the help from her so called "tormenters".
Thats not all. It is also a fact that M.A. Center covered Gails health
insurance for approximately two years after she left in 1999. Gail also
received additional support, both in cash and in kind, from Ammas devotees
from various parts of the world. One of Ammas devotees in Hawaii, with
whom Gail was living with at that time, assisted Gail with the transfer,
deposit and investment of the money. It is unfortunate that Gail doesnt
mention the extent of support that she received from these devotees.



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Conclusions

Based on all the above facts, it is quite clear that Gail Tredwell suffers from
extreme mental disorders and vengeance. Moreover She has been greatly
influenced by Jessi Hoffman (whose hidden agenda is to malign Amma and
promote hatred towards Amma). Even though after leaving Ashram also Gail
would remember her good old days in ashram and was even thinking of
returning back to ashram, her mind got really poisoned in last few years.

It is quite a high possibility that some religious fanatic organizations and
anti-hindu elements are promoting Gail and her book and misusing Gails
book as a platform to execute their evil plans, probably without even Gail
realizing it.

It is shocking to see the scandalous fraud involved in writing and publishing of
this book. Holy Hell is self-published. Wattle Tree Press is a fictional entity-
it has never published any other book. Books published by major publishers have
to be run through a fact-checking department - this prevented Gails book from
being taken up by a major publisher.

Gail Tredwell is a woman with an honesty problem who lies when it is
expedient for her to do so. She lied to peoples faces, she lied about various
people in her book, she lied to the face of U.S. Government authorities, and
she is lying to the world now!

It is a grave and sincere call to each and every sensible person to re-think
what is fact and what is fiction! Let us not forget what Amma has done to
serve the humanity before reaching any conclusions. This is a planned attack
not just on Amma as an individual but on the entire humanity. Many fanatic
outfits are using this book as a pawn to execute their evil plans. In the
name of freedom of expression, is it justifiable to defame a humanitarian
leader like Amma, who is also a spiritual leader and Mother of millions!

Please also read below about what other distinguished people from across the
world have to say about Amma. Now whether to believe these eminent
personalities or whether to believe a mentally ill person you can decide for
yourself! It is unfortunate how people get mislead by reading things which are
completely baseless and untrue.

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What others say about Amma

Amma has done more work than many governments have ever done for their people.
Prof Mohammad Yunus
(Nobel Peace Prize winner)
I want to share with you what I have learned from Amritapuri Giving. Go on giving. You
can give. It s not only money. You can share knowledge. You can remove the pain. And you
can even go to the person who is suffering. There is no greater message than Ammas giving
to all the people of this region, and Kerala, and India, and to the world.
Dr. Abdul Kalam
(then President of India)
Amma is truly such an enormous fountain of energy and love and compassion. I think if all
of us were to get even a fraction of it within our own beings, there would be only joy in the
whole world. . . Whatever little I can do with her inspiration, I will strive my best to
accomplish it.
Dr. Rajendra K. Pachauri
(Nobel Peace Prize Winner & Chairman, Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change)
I feel its a great honour to share a platform with a woman who is so remarkable, and who
is the very embodiment of goodness. She believes that God does not discriminate between
the sexes, and I believe she stands here in front of us, Gods love in a human body.
Dr Jane Goodall
(UN Messenger of Peace)
The world today needs proof that our human values are useful, that such qualities as
compassion, selflessness, renunciation and humility have the power to create a great and
prosperous society. Ammas work provides us with the much-needed proof.
Mr. Atal Bihari Vajpayee
(then Prime Minister of India)
What I cherish most about Amma is that she not only talks the talk, and is an embodiment
of unconditional love, but she expresses that love in action. She walks the talk! Amma is the
change she wishes to see in our world.
Ms. Yolanda King
(then Director, Martin Luther King Jr. Center, USA)
I was very struck by how much of the money that is mobilized actually goes and benefits
directly those in need I think international NGOs and UN agencies have something to
learn from the work of Amma and what she has been able to build.
Mr. Olara A. Otunnu
(Former President, UN Security Council & (Chairman, UN Human Rights Commission)
By her emphasis on selfless service and charity, Amma will, I believe, hugely influence the
future world.
Brother Dr. Wayne Teasdale
(PhD, Catholic monk & former Trustee, Parliament of the Worlds Religions)
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References

[1] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/12/08/an-attorneys-review-of-holy-hell-by-gail-
tredwell/

[2] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2014/01/15/remembering-gail-tredwell-a-letter-from-
brahmacharini-lakshmi/

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORYBy7wc444

[4] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/12/17/gail-tredwells-lie-of-omission-an-email-
from-brahmachari-shubamrita/

[5] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/12/17/a-letter-from-gail-tredwell-to-amritapuri-
ashram-residents-dec-18-1999/

[6] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/12/05/remembering-gail-tredwell-a-letter-from-
geetha-kumar/

[7] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/11/23/remembering-gail-tredwell-arpanas-
memories-of-gayatri/

[8] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/11/27/remembering-gail-tredwell-rajitas-
memories-of-gayatri/

[9] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/delivering-money-gold-a-question-to-
ammas-attendant/

[10] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2013/12/11/gail-tredwell-lied-about-me-a-letter-
from-prakash/

[11] http://gail-tredwell-jessi-hoffman-holy-hell.blogspot.in

[12] http://ammascandal.wordpress.com/2014/02/21/gail-tredwell-lied-about-me-kusuma-
sets-the-story-straight/

[13] http://www.embracingtheworld.org

[14] http://www.amritapuri.org/amma/others