EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Norma Meek and Patty Schumacher
Norma Meek and Patty Schumacher
Senior Associates
Senior Associates
Yale School of the 21
Yale School of the 21
st st
Century
Century
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
E
E
-
-
IQ
IQ
Industry
Industry
-
-
Business
Business
High IQ
High IQ
Critical Critical
Condescending Condescending
Inhibited Inhibited
Uncomfortable Uncomfortable
with sensuality with sensuality
Emotionally Emotionally
bland bland
High
High
Emotional IQ
Emotional IQ
Poised Poised
Outgoing Outgoing
Committed to Committed to
people and people and
causes causes
Sympathetic Sympathetic
and caring and caring
Comfortable Comfortable
with with
themselves themselves
IQ contributes only about 20% to
IQ contributes only about 20% to
success in life
success in life
Other forces contribute to success
Other forces contribute to success

Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence

Luck
Luck

Social Class
Social Class
Emotional IQ has 5 components
Emotional IQ has 5 components

Self awareness
Self awareness

Managing emotions
Managing emotions

Motivating ourselves
Motivating ourselves

Empathy
Empathy

Resolving conflicts/handling relationships

Resolving conflicts/handling relationships
EI TEST
EI TEST
1. You are on an airplane that suddenly hits extremely bad turbu 1. You are on an airplane that suddenly hits extremely bad turbulence and begins lence and begins
rocking from side to side. What do you do? rocking from side to side. What do you do?
A. A. Continue to read your book or magazine, or watch the movie, tryi Continue to read your book or magazine, or watch the movie, trying to pay little ng to pay little
attention to the turbulence. attention to the turbulence.
B. B. Become vigilant for an emergency, carefully monitoring the stewa Become vigilant for an emergency, carefully monitoring the stewardesses and rdesses and
reading the emergency instructions card. reading the emergency instructions card.
C. C. A little of both a and b. A little of both a and b.
D. D. Not sure Not sure - - never noticed. never noticed.
2. You are in a meeting when a colleague takes credit for work t 2. You are in a meeting when a colleague takes credit for work t hat you have done. hat you have done.
What do you do? What do you do?
A. A. Immediately and publicly confront the colleague over the ownersh Immediately and publicly confront the colleague over the ownership of your work. ip of your work.
B. B. After the meeting, take the colleague aside and tell her that yo After the meeting, take the colleague aside and tell her that you would appreciate in u would appreciate in
the future that she credits you when speaking about your work. the future that she credits you when speaking about your work.
C. C. Nothing, it's not a good idea to embarrass colleagues in public. Nothing, it's not a good idea to embarrass colleagues in public.
D. D. After the colleague speaks, publicly thank her for referencing y After the colleague speaks, publicly thank her for referencing your work and give the our work and give the
group more specific detail about what you were trying to accompl group more specific detail about what you were trying to accomplish. ish.
Note: Note: The purpose of the following quiz is to provide you with an intr The purpose of the following quiz is to provide you with an introduction to Emotional Intelligence (EI). oduction to Emotional Intelligence (EI). The The
results you get from this quiz are NOT a comprehensive picture o results you get from this quiz are NOT a comprehensive picture of your EI and the quiz is NOT representative of Hay f your EI and the quiz is NOT representative of Hay
Group surveys. Group surveys. If you are interested in testing and developing your EI, you sh If you are interested in testing and developing your EI, you should contact us at 617 425 4500 for ould contact us at 617 425 4500 for
information on our information on our Emotional Competence Inventory Emotional Competence Inventory, a tool designed to be administered by accredited users , a tool designed to be administered by accredited users
only. only. http:// http://ei.haygroup.com/resources/default_ieitest.htm ei.haygroup.com/resources/default_ieitest.htm
3. You are a customer service representative and have just gotte 3. You are a customer service representative and have just gotten an n an
extremely angry client on the phone. What do you do? extremely angry client on the phone. What do you do?
A. A. Hang Hang- -up. It doesn't pay to take abuse from anyone. up. It doesn't pay to take abuse from anyone.
B. B. Listen to the client and rephrase what you gather he is feeling. Listen to the client and rephrase what you gather he is feeling.
C. C. Explain to the client that he is being unfair, that you are only Explain to the client that he is being unfair, that you are only trying to do trying to do
your job, and you would appreciate it if he wouldn't get in the your job, and you would appreciate it if he wouldn't get in the way of this. way of this.
D. D. Tell the client you understand how frustrating this must be for Tell the client you understand how frustrating this must be for him, and offer him, and offer
a specific thing you can do to help him get his problem resolved a specific thing you can do to help him get his problem resolved. .
4. You are a college student who had hoped to get an A in a cour 4. You are a college student who had hoped to get an A in a course that se that
was important for your future career aspirations. You have just was important for your future career aspirations. You have just found found
out you got a C out you got a C- - on the midterm. What do you do? on the midterm. What do you do?
A. A. Sketch out a specific plan for ways to improve your grade and re Sketch out a specific plan for ways to improve your grade and resolve to solve to
follow through. follow through.
B. B. Decide you do not have what it takes to make it in that career. Decide you do not have what it takes to make it in that career.
C. C. Tell yourself it really doesn't matter how much you do in the co Tell yourself it really doesn't matter how much you do in the course, urse,
concentrate instead on other classes where your grades are highe concentrate instead on other classes where your grades are higher. r.
D. D. Go see the professor and try to talk her into giving you a bette Go see the professor and try to talk her into giving you a better grade. r grade.
http:// http://ei.haygroup.com/resources/default_ieitest.htm ei.haygroup.com/resources/default_ieitest.htm
5. You are a manager in an organization that is trying to encour 5. You are a manager in an organization that is trying to encour age age
respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You overhear someone te respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You overhear someone telling a lling a
racist joke. What do you do? racist joke. What do you do?
A. A. Ignore it Ignore it - - the best way to deal with these things is not to react. the best way to deal with these things is not to react.
B. B. Call the person into your office and explain that their behavior Call the person into your office and explain that their behavior is is
inappropriate and is grounds for disciplinary action if repeated inappropriate and is grounds for disciplinary action if repeated. .
C. C. Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are inappropriate a Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are inappropriate and will not nd will not
be tolerated in your organization. be tolerated in your organization.
D. D. Suggest to the person telling the joke he go through a diversity Suggest to the person telling the joke he go through a diversity training training
program. program.
6. You are an insurance salesman calling on prospective clients. 6. You are an insurance salesman calling on prospective clients. You You
have left the last 15 clients empty have left the last 15 clients empty- -handed. What do you do? handed. What do you do?
A. A. Call it a day and go home early to miss rush Call it a day and go home early to miss rush- -hour traffic. hour traffic.
B. B. Try something new in the next call, and keep plugging away Try something new in the next call, and keep plugging away
C. C. .List your strengths and weaknesses to identify what may be unde .List your strengths and weaknesses to identify what may be undermining rmining
your ability to sell. your ability to sell.
D. D. Sharpen up your resume. Sharpen up your resume.
http:// http://ei.haygroup.com/resources/default_ieitest.htm ei.haygroup.com/resources/default_ieitest.htm
7. You are trying to calm down a colleague who has worked hersel 7. You are trying to calm down a colleague who has worked hersel f into a f into a
fury because the driver of another car has cut dangerously close fury because the driver of another car has cut dangerously close in in
front of her. What do you do? front of her. What do you do?
A. A. Tell her to forget about it Tell her to forget about it- -she's OK now and it is no big deal. she's OK now and it is no big deal.
B. B. Put on one of her favorite tapes and try to distract her. Put on one of her favorite tapes and try to distract her.
C. C. J oin her in criticizing the other driver. J oin her in criticizing the other driver.
D. D. Tell her about a time something like this happened to you, and h Tell her about a time something like this happened to you, and how angry ow angry
you felt, until you saw the other driver was on the way to the h you felt, until you saw the other driver was on the way to the hospital. ospital.
8. A discussion between you and your partner has escalated into 8. A discussion between you and your partner has escalated into a a
shouting match. You are both upset and in the heat of the argume shouting match. You are both upset and in the heat of the argument, nt,
start making personal attacks which neither of you really mean. start making personal attacks which neither of you really mean. What What
is the best thing to do? is the best thing to do?
Agree to take a 20 Agree to take a 20- -minute break before continuing the discussion. minute break before continuing the discussion.
Go silent, regardless of what your partner says. Go silent, regardless of what your partner says.
Say you are sorry, and ask your partner to apologize too. Say you are sorry, and ask your partner to apologize too.
Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, then restate your side Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, then restate your side of the case of the case
as precisely as possible. as precisely as possible.
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9. You have been given the task of managing a team that has been 9. You have been given the task of managing a team that has been unable unable
to come up with a creative solution to a work problem. What is t to come up with a creative solution to a work problem. What is t he he
first thing that you do? first thing that you do?
A. A. Draw up an agenda, call a meeting and allot a specific period of Draw up an agenda, call a meeting and allot a specific period of time to time to
discuss each item. discuss each item.
B. B. Organize an off Organize an off- -site meeting aimed specifically at encouraging the team to site meeting aimed specifically at encouraging the team to
get to know each other better. get to know each other better.
C. C. Begin by asking each person individually for ideas about how to Begin by asking each person individually for ideas about how to solve the solve the
problem. problem.
D. D. Start out with a brainstorming session, encouraging each person Start out with a brainstorming session, encouraging each person to say to say
whatever comes to mind, no matter how wild. whatever comes to mind, no matter how wild.
10. You have recently been assigned a young manager in your team 10. You have recently been assigned a young manager in your team, and , and
have noticed that he appears to be unable to make the simplest o have noticed that he appears to be unable to make the simplest of f
decisions without seeking advice from you. What do you do? decisions without seeking advice from you. What do you do?
A. A. Accept that he "does not have what it take to succeed around her Accept that he "does not have what it take to succeed around here" and e" and
find others in your team to take on his tasks. find others in your team to take on his tasks.
B. B. Get an HR manager to talk to him about where he sees his future Get an HR manager to talk to him about where he sees his future in the in the
organization. organization.
C. C. Purposely give him lots of complex decisions to make so that he Purposely give him lots of complex decisions to make so that he will will
become more confident in the role. become more confident in the role.
D. D. Engineer an ongoing series of challenging but manageable experie Engineer an ongoing series of challenging but manageable experiences for nces for
him, and make yourself available to act as his mentor. him, and make yourself available to act as his mentor.
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Answers to Quiz
Answers to Quiz
1. 1.
Not D, 10 pts. for ABC
Not D, 10 pts. for ABC
2. 2.
B
B

5 pts. D
5 pts. D

10 pts.
10 pts.
3. 3.
B
B

5 pts. D
5 pts. D

10 pts.
10 pts.
4. 4.
A
A

10 pts. C
10 pts. C

5 pts.
5 pts.
5. 5.
B
B

5 pts. C
5 pts. C

10 pts. D
10 pts. D

5 pts.
5 pts.
6. 6.
B
B

10 pts. C
10 pts. C

5 pts.
5 pts.
7. 7.
C
C

5 pts. D
5 pts. D

10 pts.
10 pts.
8. 8.
A
A

10 pts.
10 pts.
9. 9.
B
B

10 pts. D 5 pts.
10 pts. D 5 pts.
10. 10.
B
B

5 pts. D
5 pts. D

10 pts.
10 pts.
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Children are not born with social skills;
Children are not born with social skills;
they must learn them.
they must learn them.
IF CHILDREN ARE NOT BORN WITH
SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL SKILLS
IF CHILDREN ARE NOT BORN WITH
IF CHILDREN ARE NOT BORN WITH
SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL SKILLS
SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL SKILLS
WHAT CAN EDUCATORS DO TO STIMULATE WHAT CAN EDUCATORS DO TO STIMULATE
THESE SKILLS IN THE CHILDREN IN OUR THESE SKILLS IN THE CHILDREN IN OUR
SETTING? SETTING?
ADDING THE TOOLS
TO THE TOOLBOX
CLEAR
COMMUNICATION
EMPATHY
SELF AWARENESS
DECISION MAKING
PROBLEM SOLVING
SHARING
PATIENCE
LISTENING
CARING
GETTING ALONG WITH
OTHERS
GENTLENESS
PERSEVERANCE
SELF MOTIVATION
SELF CONTROL
EDUCATING THE HEART
IS AS IMPORTANT AS
EDUCATING THE MIND
EACH MORNING HAVE A COMMUNITY/FEELING CIRCLE-how
do you feel and why?
READ STORIES TO EMPHASIZE THE TOOLS
TELL YOUR OWN STORIES TO ENHANCE THE TOOLS
CHILDREN ROLE PLAY CHARACTERS IN THE STORIES
CHILDREN NEED THE E.I.
TOOLS TO BE
SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE
USE MUSIC TO BUILD SELF-ESTEEM,
ENHANCE EXPRESSION, SPUR MOTOR
DEVELOPMENT, STIMULATE
LISTENING & RECEPTIVE LANGUAGE
MORE CLASSROOM
STRATEGIES
PEER MEDIATION
DEEP BREATHINGEXHALE, HOLD
2 SECONDS-INHALE
YOGA
E.I. IS THE SET OF ABILITIES THAT
HELPS US GET ALONG IN LIFE WITH
OTHER PEOPLE IN ALL KINDS OF
SITUATIONSMaurice Elias, Rutgers U.
Lessons on hurtfulness of put downs
followed by discussion of put ups
Classroom plan on handling feelingsthink
rather than react aggressively
MORE CLASSROOM
STRATEGIES
Community service
Care of classroom pets
Cooperative learning groups
OUR THOUGHTFUL TEACHING,
CONVERSATION, MODELING & PRACTICE
CAN DEVELOP & NURTURE E.I. IN OUR
CHILDREN
CHILDREN WHO ARE AROUND ADULTS WHO MODEL
GENTLENESS,PERSERVERANCE, LISTENING,
TEAMWORK & APPRECIATION OF DIFFERENCES SET
HIGHER STANDARDS FOR THEMSELVES
EDUCATORS NEED TO PROVIDE WORKSHOPS FOR
PARENTS ON DEVELOPING THE EMOTIONAL AND
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE IN CHILDREN.
ADULTS NEED TO
MODEL GENTLENESS
Sometimes nonverbal, supportive actions are all
that is needed in the situation
Dont say
its not as bad as that
big girls dont cry
boys dont cry
it didnt hurt
THE BEST HOPE OF A NATION LIES
IN THE PROPER EDUCATION OF ITS
CHILDREN--Erasmus
SOBERING REALITY OF COLUMBINE
AND OTHER SCHOOLS HIGHLIGHT THE
NEED FOR EDUATION OF THE
EMOTIONSthe answer does not lie in
metal detectors
DO YOU AGREE SELF CONTROL, GETTING ALONG WITH
OTHERS, PERSEVERANCE, & SELF-MOTIVATION ARE AS
IMPORTANT AS IQ IN DETERMING OVERALL LIFELONG
SUCCESS?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR EDUCATION SETTING
TO ENHANCE THE E.I. OF THE CHILDREN?