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The
theory
of Love
the
Plus
UKCP book series
Lynette Harborne discusses her new book Psychotherapy and Spiritual Direction
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contents
The theory of love
Evolving a theory of love
Constellations and love
Love: where relationships, mind and brain meet
We have chemistry! The role of four primary temperament dimensions
in mate choice and partner compatibility
The joy of love and hate: a psychoanalytic view
How we love
Living body principles whats LOVE got to with it?
Six ways to love
Love in the therapy room
Accepting the therapeutic relationship as love
Love: taking a stance
Therapeutic encounter a kind of loving
Transcultural perspectives on love and hate: the yin and yang of
relationships, within and without therapy
Love, separation and reconciliation: systemic theory
and its relationship with emotions
Feature articles
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3
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11
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15
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22
24
26
28
30
Discussion
Sharing concepts to support Black issues in the therapeutic process
Letter
32
34
UKCP news
A snapshot of the 2012 Research Conference
Assured voluntary regulation: interview
Putting the pieces together
Transpersonal Special Interest Group: second meeting, 20 May 2012
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37
41
42
UKCP members
Reparative therapy, psychotherapy and Pilkington
where do we go from here?
Raising your profile
Referral services and email scams affecting members
Book reviews
Psychotherapy and spiritual direction: two languages, one voice?
Books in the UKCP series
New members
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52
Editorial policy
www.ukcp.org.uk
Welcome
Love is...
W
Margaret
Ramage
Love is a topic
psychotherapists are
often hesitant to talk
about, here we talk about
it in abundance
Reference
Advertising policy
Managing editor:
Editorial board:
Sandra Fletcher
Sandra Fletcher, David Pink, Janet Weisz
Mary MacCallum Sullivan, Tom Warnecke,
Philippa Whittick, Aaron Balick, Geoff Lamb,
Richard Casebow, Natalie Joanes,
Layout:
Printers:
The Psychotherapist
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Focusing on love
It seems as if the psychotherapy
establishment, as reflected in contemporary
literature, has left the exploration of love to
spiritual schools, self-help entrepreneurs
and, more recently, to neurobiologists.
Notable exceptions to this tendency can
be seen in the writings of the attachment
theorists (where the word attachment is
used interchangeably with the word love)
and the psychoanalysts.
Geoff
Warburton
Love is such a
mysterious, paradoxical
and relatively indefinable
force of nature that it
defies measurement and
reification
The few psychotherapy schools that
explicitly focus on love as a key theme
of therapy often meet with controversy
and suspicion in the psychotherapy and
psychology professions. Constellations
therapy, compassion-focused CBT and
Imago relationship therapy are a few
examples. The most senior clinical director
of an NHS mental health trust, responsible
for the mental health of over a million
people, informed me personally the other
day that focusing my approach on love,
compassion and relationships is not
professionally credible.
At a time when the psychotherapy
profession is engaged with the question
of effective research and establishing
credibility, its not surprising that an
exploration of love is avoided or treated
with suspicion by psychotherapists. Love
is such a mysterious, paradoxical and
relatively indefinable force of nature that
it defies measurement and reification;
it definitely is if we use medically based
models of collecting evidence that are the
prevalent tools of NICE to measure the
efficacy of our work.
Understanding love
Most of our psychotherapeutic approaches
deal in some way with the consequences of
the qualities of loving bonds in childhood,
the dissolution of limiting beliefs, and
behaviours towards the self and others in
adulthood (in other words, removing the
barriers to love), and the enhancement of
love in romantic and family relationships. So
love is central to our work.
There is a marked
absence of inquiry into
the nature and expression
of love in the literature
of contemporary
psychotherapy
www.ukcp.org.uk
References
Cox B and Forshaw J (2011). The quantum universe:
everything that can happen does happen. London:
Allen Lane.
Lewis T, Amini F and Lannon R (2001). A general
theory of love. New York: Vintage Books.
Rumi (1998). The love poems of Rumi [trans Deepak
Chopra]. London: Rider
The Psychotherapist
The stories
John reports that he cannot sustain any
close connection with a partner. He longs
to have a family. His constellation reveals
an overwhelmingly powerful connection
Judith
Hemming
An applied philosophy
Judith, a UKCP member, is the founder
of Moving Constellations and a former
director of the Nowhere Foundation. In
1991, she trained in constellations work
from its founder, Bert Hellinger, among
others, and is now a leading figure in
this world community of practitioners
and teachers. Her previous experience
as an English teacher and lecturer in
education studies at the Institute of
Education allowed her to pioneer this
educational work.
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has continued to grow and develop in
the two or three decades since it was
first demonstrated. Hellinger himself
always saw his work more as a kind of
applied philosophy the development
of a systemic, rather than an individual,
lens through which to see the world, at
variance with that of traditional individual
therapy, as well as having a different focus
and intention which one might call
seeing and agreeing to life as it is. It has
become a diverse approach, practised
by many kinds of professionals and not
yet constrained in its development by
regulatory restriction.
By arresting the familiar flow of discourse
interpretations and narratives
constellations shift the therapeutic process
away from exploring emotional content per
se towards the release of hidden impulses
and loyalties within which such content is
unconsciously embedded. In seeing current
problems as located in the wider frame of
space and time, it connects with its many
different roots: shamanism, Zulu traditions
and other western sources, especially the
work of Satir, Moreno, Boszormeni-Nagy,
the primal therapy of Janov, and Bernes
notions of scripts. Hellinger was powerfully
influenced by his wartime experiences in
Germany and his decades as a Catholic
priest. However, constellations now exist
independently of the man who originally
brought them to prominence and are
shedding some of Hellingers unconscious
assumptions and provocative energy.
To summarise, the work offers a group
setting in which constellators help clients
retrieve aspects of the whole setting of
their situations that have been lost to
view, bringing the living and the dead into
mutually satisfactory and respectful order
in the service of the living.
Brief therapy
Constellations are now well established
as a popular form of brief therapy.
Countless clients report a sense of lasting
healing and resolution after having only
experienced one or two constellations
that address their particular malaise or
question. But they are indeed difficult
to explain or understand. They are not
supported by randomised controlled
studies. Practitioners break many hallowed
guidelines on what a therapeutic
relationship should be. The presenting
issue is often contextualised as an
echo of long past events, pointing up
Constellation work
has become a diverse
approach, practised
by many kinds of
professionals but not
constrained by regulatory
restriction
transgenerational collective and systemic
entanglements.
All this raises scepticism, understandably.
It seems to make claims beyond the
empirically supported therapies cognitive,
behavioural or interpersonal.
Writing about the practice of systemic
constellations is therefore a daunting
challenge, precisely because it diverges
so far from accepted mainstream practice.
Brevity in describing the approach is
also likely to create misunderstanding.
Constellations challenges us at every turn
as we look at the process involved, the
philosophy that underpins it, and even
the resolutions that present themselves.
The unusual assumptions are more
familiar to philosophers, evolutionary
biologists, epigeneticists, quantum
scientists and spiritual practitioners than
they are to psychotherapists. They rest
on a view of a unified field, alive and
intelligent, subject to laws (or at least
deep habits) that curtail both individual
choice and freedom.
www.ukcp.org.uk
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The Psychotherapist
Constellators help
clients retrieve aspects of
the whole setting of their
situations that have been
lost to view
Drawing a line
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Daniel
Siegel
www.ukcp.org.uk
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A working definition
One hundred per cent of the 40 academics
voted in favour of this working definition
of the mind, and the group went on to
meet for four and a half years. Since that
time, over these two decades, I have had
the opportunity to query different groups
around the globe. I have asked if they ever
had been given even a single lecture on
what the mind is. For over 100,000 mental
health professionals, over 96 per cent
said no. And of over 5,000 schoolteachers,
the number is about the same. Ive asked
individual department chairs from a
wide range of fields, from philosophy to
psychology, neuroscience to anthropology,
and the response has been uniform: there
is no definition of the mind, according to
these leaders reports, in our academic
disciplines that focus on mental life.
And so my love of learning takes us on
a wild journey into unforeseen facts to
address our basic question here: what is
love? The neural correlates of this thing
called love we can identify, whether
chemical or anatomic, focusing on sex,
romance and attachment. Perhaps even
love of learning could be seen to involve
the dopamine reward circuits and one
might say we fall in love with what we feel
rewarded to do, based on dopamine and
the head-brain. No one would fault that line
of reasoning.
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process called love. Saying it is of the mind,
that is mental, means from this perspective
called interpersonal neurobiology which
attempts to combine all disciplines of
science into one perspective, that we
must always seek both the embodied
and the embedded nature of mind. Mind
emerges in contexts internal regarding
our physiology, and external in our
being socially embedded. Embodied and
embedded the mind is.
Love as a mental process, Ill propose to you,
emerges from a fundamental process called
integration. Integration is the linkage of
differentiated parts of a system. Integration
leads to harmony; impaired integration
leads to chaos and/or rigidity. Love is the
harmony of integration. When we honour
differences and promote compassionate
linkages, love emerges. Love can thus
arise in various relationships that involve
attachment, romance, sexuality, learning,
professional pursuits, athletics and spiritual
communities. A relationship is defined in
this model of interpersonal neurobiology as
a pattern of shared energy and information
flow. When these relationships are
integrated, love emerges. The embodied
brain responds to integrated relationships
with the activation of integrative circuits
ones that link widely separated regions
to each other. For example, attachment
relationships can be seen to promote
the growth of integrative circuits in the
prefrontal region, the hippocampus and
the corpus callosum that co-ordinate
and balance the nervous system (Siegel,
2012a,b). Therapeutic interventions that
promote seeing the mind of another
person mindsight with empathy and
compassion offer integrative experiences
that promote healing. Love is healing
because love promotes integration. P
We have chemistry!
the role of four primary
temperament dimensions
in mate choice and partner
compatibility
Dr Helen Fisher approaches choice of mate from
the perspective of biology, asserting that four neural
systems are regularly associated with a constellation
of personality traits
Helen Fisher
References
Fisher H (2012). This volume.
Siegel DJ (2012a). The developing mind [2nd ed].
New York: Guilford Press.
Siegel DJ (2012b). Pocket guide to interpersonal
neurobiology: an integrative handbook of the
mind. New York: WW Norton.
Siegel DJ (2010a). Mindsight: the new science of
personal transformation. New York: Bantam/
Random House.
Siegel DJ (2010b). The mindful therapist:
a clinicians guide to mindsight and neural
integration. New York: WW Norton.
Wilson EO (1998). Consilience: the unity of
knowledge. New York: Vintage.
www.ukcp.org.uk
It is a drive a drive to
pursue lifes greatest prize:
a mating partner
The Psychotherapist
The questionnaire
My final questionnaire consisted of 56
statements. Data were collected using the
US internet dating site, chemistry.com, until
reliability was obtained in a US sample
of 39,913 anonymous men and women. I
then used eigen analysis on an additional
set of 100,000 men and women. All
individuals expressed all four temperament
dimensions, yet individuals varied in the
Mate choice
Men and women who were primarily
novelty-seeking, energetic, curious and
creative were statistically significantly
more drawn to those who shared these
traits, while those who were primarily
conventional, cautious and rule following
were also drawn to individuals like
themselves. But those who were more
analytical, tough minded, direct and
decisive were disproportionately attracted
to their opposite, those who were
imaginative, intuitive, compassionate and
socially skilled; and vice versa. In short,
Explorers preferentially sought Explorers,
Builders sought other Builders, and
Directors and Negotiators were drawn to
one another.
Why does similarity attract in some cases
while opposites attract in others? Perhaps
these human appetites are primordial
reproductive mechanisms that evolved
to insure the survival of the young. Take
a partnership between a Director and a
Negotiator.
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see all the angles, while the Director will
be decisive. Moreover, the Director needs
the Negotiators empathy, verbal acuity
and people skills, while the Negotiator can
marvel at the Directors candor, their goaloriented focus and their gift of knowing
their own mind.
Problems can emerge, however. Directors
strive for efficiency and logic, a trait that can
disappoint the expressive, tenderhearted
Negotiator. Directors dont like redundancy
either; they are not likely to say I love you
regularly or respond to other loving rituals
the Negotiator needs to feel connected.
Moreover, Directors admire self-control,
so if the Negotiator becomes a drama
queen (or king), the Director may retreat
into hostile silence. The Director can also
become impatient with the Negotiators
intuitive side, regarding it as airy nonsense.
Meanwhile, the Negotiator may find the
Directors insistence on tough-minded
logic irritating, particularly if it tramples on
someones feelings.
But when the Director and Negotiator pool
their complementary traits, they are likely to
be an effective team for raising young.
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I felt an investigation
of initial attraction was
an appropriate focus for
understanding a core
aspect of mate choice
Nevertheless, with two Builders, humanity
has evolved another stable strategy for
parenting.
Other matches
But what happens when an Explorer falls
in love with a Builder? One is reckless,
the other cautious; one likes novelty, the
other basks in the familiar. Or when two
Directors tie the knot? Both are sceptical,
References
Fisher HE (2012). Serial monogamy and
clandestine adultery: evolution and
consequences of the dual human reproductive
strategy. In S Craig Roberts (ed). Applied
evolutionary psychology. Cambridge University
Press, pp139151.
Fisher HE (2009). Why him? Why her? New York:
Henry Holt.
Fisher HE (2004). Why we love. New York: Henry
Holt.
Fisher H, Aron A and Brown LL (2005). Romantic
love: an fMRI study of a neural mechanism for
mate choice. Journal of Comparative Neurology,
493, pp5862.
Fisher HE, Brown LL, Aron A, Strong G and
Mashek D (2010). Reward, addiction, and
emotion regulation systems associated with
rejection in love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104,
pp5160.
Fisher HE, Rich J, Island HD and Marchalik
D (2010). The second to fourth digit ratio:
a measure of two hormonally-based
temperament dimensions. Personality and
Individual Differences, 49(7), 773777.
Pfaff D and Fisher HE (2012). Generalized brain
arousal mechanisms and other biological,
environmental and psychological mechanisms
that contribute to libido. In A Fotopoulou, D
Pfaff, MA Conway (eds). From the couch to the
lab: trends in neuropsychoanalysis. Cambridge
University Press, pp7786.
Sunnafrank M and Ramirez A (2004). At first
sight: persistent relational effects of getacquainted conversations. Journal of Social and
Personal Relationships, 21(3), pp361379.
www.ukcp.org.uk
David Mann
The Psychotherapist
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when such love turns to hatred of the one
we formerly loved. Love could be described
as the risk of potential hurt.
Does love or hate always have to be
ambivalent? The form nearest to pure
love or pure hate is usually found only as
a result of splitting. The Kleinian theory
is useful here to describe the splitting of
love and hate, which relies on a primitive
mechanism to keep each feeling asunder.
Such splitting is easy enough to spot in all
forms of fundamentalism where good and
bad are clearly demarcated and neither
ambivalence nor ambiguity is tolerated.
If love and hate are not just a result of
splitting then we must allow for a more
mature form: a developmental progression
that allows for a healthy form of love and
hate; mature love and hate are less split
and more ambivalent. To continue with
the Kleinian view for a moment, a more
developmentally advanced form of love
and hate results from the depressive
position. This kind of love and hate is more
ambivalent and more intermixed. In a
developed, mature mind, expressions of
hate/destructiveness produce guilt, which
leads us to want to make reparation. I
am rather ambivalent about this part of
the Kleinian theory since it takes a moral
stance, implying that aggression is only of
value if we can be led to make reparation.
This does not allow for the dark side of
eros. Perhaps I can put this more starkly:
we need to account for the pleasure, the
excitement, to be had from mature hate and
destructiveness.
Recognition of differences
Winnicott (1958) allows us to see that not all
differences need to be reduced to splitting.
Indeed, the recognition of differences is an
act of maturity: we are not all the same in
relation to one another. While it is easy as
therapists to consider a healthy notion of
love, it is more difficult to envision a healthy
model of hate that feels both comfortable
and not moralistically disapproving. The
mature recognition of difference must
still have emotions. It is hard to see how
a universal neutrality in relation to what
is different can represent an emotional
maturity. We may still love, hate or feel
www.ukcp.org.uk
References
Freud S (1906). The Freud/Jung letters [ed W
Maguire]. Princeton University Press, 1974.
Freud S (1907). Delusions and dreams in Jensens
Gradiva. Pelican Freud Library (PFL), vol 14.
Hammondsworth: Penguin Books, 1987.
Freud S (1915). Instinct and their vicissitudes. PFL,
vol 11, Penguin Books, 1987.
Freud S (1921). Group psychology and the analysis
of the ego. PFL, vol 12, Penguin Books, 1987.
Freud S (1923). The ego and the id. PFL, vol. 11,
Penguin Books, 1987.
Freud S (1930). Civilization and its discontents.
PFL vol 12, 1991.
Freud S (1938). An outline of psychoanalysis. PFL
vol 15, 1993.
Goldwater E (2007). The joy of violence. Mod.
Psychoanal, 32, pp2042.
Mann D (1994). The psychotherapists erotic
subjectivity. British Journal of Psychotherapy,
10(3), pp344354.
Mann D (1997). Psychotherapy: an
erotic relationship transference and
countertransference passions. London: Routledge.
Mann D (1999). Erotic transference and
countertransference: clinical practice in
psychotherapy. London: Routledge.
Mann D (2002). Love and hate: psychoanalytic
perspectives. London: Routledge.
Mann D and Cunningham V (2008). The past in
the present: therapy enactments and the return of
trauma. London: Routledge.
Winnicott DW (1958). The capacity to be alone.
In The maturational processes and the facilitating
environment. London: Hogarth Press, 1987)
The Psychotherapist
How we love
Dr Geoff Warburton interviews Dr Harville Hendrix,
co-founder of Imago relationship therapy, about what
he knows about love
Geoff Warburton: What is your
definition of love?
Harville Hendrix: Love is what we are
when we are not anxious. When we
are experiencing what we really are as
human beings. That means we are feeling
safe and we are also feeling connected.
Connection here means we are feeling at
one with everything. You cant experience
your connection if youre anxious. Then
you feel separated and you do things that
regulate your anxiety. But when you feel
safe, and hence your natural connection to
everything, the natural consequence of that
is caring for the whole context. Love is that
experience of caring for the whole without
asking for anything from the whole back.
This means that being is love. This is what
we would always experience if we were not
anxious. We are anxious because everybody
has had something disruptive happen in
childhood. So this experience of connection
gets ruptured in the unattuned interaction
with the caretaker. And this produces the
anxiety and the desire to have that original
connection back with the caretaker.
Romantic love is a kind of hors doeuvre to
what love is. But it has so much history, so
much a needs system attached to it, that it
becomes a conditional experience. Romantic
love is a conditional experience. When you get
below this you get to love is what we are. We
look for someone with whom we can recover
the original connection. We dont know we
are doing that. We meet someone and that
person triggers that sense of connection. You
will do anything for them. Thats a taste, the
hors doeuvre of our nature that we cant have
because we are anxious that we might
lose it.
We want our nature back and that nature is
connection; its not individual autonomy. This
connection is experienced in relationship.
Its not experienced in your head. Its
experienced by being with others and not
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more concentration because you are not
focusing on your own internal experiencing.
Youre focusing on the possibly negative
stimulating stuff coming from your partner.
And to stay centred in the presence of
your partners reactivity requires more
muscle, more concentration, and therefore
produces more thickening of the layer that
one gets from meditating. In that sense its a
spiritual discipline.
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The theory of love
Kai
Ehrhardt
bic Brain up to
30
Lim
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Sensation
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The Psychotherapist
Witnessing ourselves
on an unfolding trajectory
that seems to have order
and purpose to it, we have
become active participants
in our own evolution
Brain Stem up to
500m years old
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Everything is part of a
complex, living process
that has evolved over
hundreds of millions of
years
a) Thought activity decreases. Thought
activity is where a lot of our psychoemotional suffering gets created
and maintained. Up to 90% of our
evaluations of situations, other people
and ourselves have little or nothing to
do with what is actually happening.
b) Sensation is an experience only
possible now. It connects us to what is
actually happening instead of stories,
fantasies or emotionally triggered
information that stems from an older or
an imagined context.
c) Evaluation, comparison and
judgment are not possible at the
level of sensation. There is no object/
subject split things just are. It is not
possible to have a preference, as in like/
dont like, good/bad or right/wrong.
d) Because sensation connects to that
which is, we become more inclusive
and invoke our capacity for empathy.
e) By sensing ourselves as we are, we gain
inner strength.
Quite a few body-based disciplines
(somatics) have used these principles
very effectively in various therapeutic
and personal growth-related ways for
many decades. This is not about isolating
sensation and condemning emotion or
thought. By connecting to the deeper
layers of sensation, a more balanced
relationship between all three domains
naturally arises.
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Self-regulatory, systemic
intelligence
When awareness interrupts the catch22 mentioned above, the body starts to
deeply regulate itself. One condition that
supports that is: slowing down to sense
and allow for non-functional movements.
These are movements that dont serve an
immediate, obvious purpose, like reaching
out to grasp a cup or like stretching a
particular muscle. These movements are
guided by systemic needs that are more
complex than the mind can cognitively
grasp. However, they just appear to have
no immediate function. In actuality,
they follow the rich wisdom that has
accumulated in organismic intelligence
over aeons. If this is a conscious process,
Every persistent or
recurring emotional state
or thought pattern forms
physical correlations
the body may no longer be experienced
a part here and a part there. In advanced
embodiment stages, it experiences itself as
one all at once.
As we slow down and sense, we become
aware of internal relationships and start
to notice systemically orchestrated
movement impulses. These movements
follow unwinding and nonlinear
dynamics. They are guided by intelligent,
systemic desires. For instance, the small
finger of the right hand may suddenly
be lengthened by itself while triggering
an inward spiralling motion of the arm
connected to it. At the same time, the
left foot engages in lateral spreading
sensation in the sole and toes. This means
that we can sense internal relationships
that are no longer just linear as in this
move follows that move. The movements
can also be simultaneous, yet far apart
and still related. Experiencing the body in
relationship with itself in such a deep way
cultivates trust in lifes unpredictability,
against which we usually tend to guard
and insure ourselves from in numerous
ways.
The nature of this nonlinear, self-regulatory
process is simultaneously healing
and unfolding. Physical/psychological
stresses unwind and latent potential
emerges at the same time. That can be
a tremendously delicious awakening to
new territory. It is always different and
cannot be preconceived by the mind.
Possibility, discovery and a sense of clarity
emerge. Deeply experiencing our physical
fullness may move through numerous
challenging stages, but in the end it always
feels ful-filling and pleasurable. Many
people describe this state of conscious
embodiment as having come home.
www.ukcp.org.uk
Conscious incarnation
Culturally we have yet to understand
what it means to consciously incarnate.
Once we become familiar with the
emerging possibilities available in
conscious embodiment, we understand
that systemic and integrative concept can
actually be experienced through our wet,
breathing bodies. The body is integral by
definition. The intention is not to regress
to sensation though at first we might
but to use the tool of consciousness to
penetrate our whole existence. We then
discover ourselves as a continuum of
interpenetrating experiences. Together
they create something larger than the
sum of sensations, emotions and thoughts.
We could call it a fourth state expressing
through embodied consciousness or
embodied integral eros.
This can be approached as a
developmental path toward unconditional
References
Gintis B (2007). Engaging the movement of
life: exploring health and embodiment through
continuum and osteopathy. Berkeley: North
Atlantic Books.
Hartley L (1989, 1995). Wisdom of the body
moving: an introduction to body mind centering.
Berkeley: North Atlantic Books.
Hartley L (2004). Somatic psychology: body, mind
and meaning. London: Whurr Publishers.
Johnson D (1995). Bone, breath, and gesture:
practices of embodiment, volume 1. Berkeley:
North Atlantic Books.
Johnson D (1995). The body in psychotherapy:
inquiries in somatic psychology. Berkeley: North
Atlantic Books.
Kaparo R (2012). Awakening somatic intelligence:
the art and practice of embodied mindfulness.
Berkeley: North Atlantic Books.
Macnaughton I (2004). Body, breath and
consciousness: a somatics anthology. Berkeley:
North Atlantic Books.
Roffler and Middendorf (2009). A somatic
science and art of living. In S Mijares S (ed). The
revelation of the breath. Albany: State University
of New York Press.
Schleip R (19982012). Articles on fascia research
[online]. Available at www.fasciaresearch.com
(accessed 20 July 2012).
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Theories of love
There are many theories of love. Our work
has been based on a model proposed by
Lee (1973) in his book entitled The colors
of love. Lee used the metaphor of a colour
wheel to define types of love, which he
designated primary types, secondary types,
and so on. Practically speaking, six types or
colours, composed of Lees three primaries
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Hendrick, 1996), as have other researchers.
Further, friendship love is extremely
important to young couples. For example,
we found that nearly half of a college
student sample named their romantic
partner as their best friend (Hendrick and
Hendrick, 1993). Thus therapists should
be aware that passion remains important
for couples into their senior years, and
friendship is likely important for most
couples at any age.
The Psychotherapist
Case example
Caroline and David, married for ten years,
have a five-year old daughter, Lily. Caroline
is a nurse and David a businessman. They
sought marital therapy because Caroline
felt David slipping away from her and
she sensed danger to the marriage. One
major event in their marriage was Lilys
diagnosis of leukemia at age three and the
treatment regimen for her disease, which
ended successfully only recently. This illness
precipitated Carolines leave of absence
from work and Davids assumption of total
financial responsibility for the family. Sex,
communication and intimacy of all types
gave way to cancer for the past two years.
David agreed to therapy because he regrets
the loss of the relationship the couple once
had. The transcript below is drawn from the
female therapists third session with the
couple.
Therapist: So how has the past week been
for the two of you?
Caroline: I guess there have been no drastic
Romantic love is an
anchor concept, linked
to relational concepts
such as sexuality,
communication,
respect, friendship and
personality
19
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The theory of love
Conclusions
References
Contreras R, Hendrick SS and Hendrick C (1996).
Perspectives on marital love and satisfaction in
Mexican American and Anglo couples. Journal of
Counseling and Development, 74, pp408415.
Hendrick C and Hendrick SS (1986). A theory and
method of love. Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology, 50, pp392102.
Hendrick C, Hendrick SS and Dicke A (1998).
The Love Attitudes Scale: Short Form. Journal of
Social and Personal Relationships, 15, pp147159.
Invitation
UKCPs 4th open forum
20
www.ukcp.org.uk
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21
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Divine
Charura
22
Stephen
Paul
www.ukcp.org.uk
Love as therapy
Rogers (1959) postulated six conditions
that, he argued, are necessary and sufficient
for change to occur in therapy. This leads
us to argue that they are in effect the
mechanics of an offer of a love free of
personal conditions to the client. Three
of these conditions, namely empathy,
congruence and unconditional positive
regard (UPR), are to all intents proven to be
fundamental for all successful therapeutic
relationships.
We concur with Rogers that UPR
corresponds to the Greek concept agape
(1962: 94). Hence we propose this concept
of agape to be non-possessive love,
compassionate love, openness to work with
the other as s/he is, as well as the potential
of what s/he could be. This for us highlights
the relational nature of the therapeutic
relationship as love.
Worsely (2008) draws attention to the work
of the philosopher Martin Buber who invites
us to consider what it means to be human
in relationship. He proposed the I-Thou
quality of relating rather than the I-It
relationship in which the other, including
their problems, is an object. In describing
the quality of this love, he wrote:
Love is near the heart of the I-Thou
intimacy. Love is between the I and the
Thou. Love is inherent in relating. I do not
possess the one I love. In love all aspects of
the other are open to acceptance. The good
and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly,
The therapeutic
relationship is generally
accepted as being the
most important factor
in therapy within the
therapists power
The Psychotherapist
References
Burton A (1967). Modern humanistic
psychotherapy. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Hayal A (1993). Psychoanalysis and the sciences:
epistemology history [trans Elizabeth Holder].
Berkerley, California: University of California Press.
Patterson CH (1974). Relationship counseling and
psychotherapy. New York: Harper & Row.
Patterson CH and Hidore SC (1997). Successful
psychotherapy: a loving, caring relationship. New
York: Jason-Aronson.
Paul S and Haugh S (eds) (2008). The
relationship not the therapy? What the research
tells us. In S Haugh and S Paul (eds). The
therapeutic relationship: themes and perspectives,
pp922.
Rogers CR (1962). The interpersonal relationship:
the core of guidance. In CR Rogers and B
Stevens. Person to person. The problem of being
human. Moab: Real People Press, pp89104.
Rogers CR (1959). A theory of therapy,
personality and interpersonal relationships as
developed in the client-centered framework. In
S Koch (ed). Psychology: a study of a science. Vol 3:
Formulations of the person and the social context.
New York: McGraw Hill.
Schmid PF (2001). Authenticity: the person as
his or her own author. Dialogical and ethical
perspectives on therapy as an encounter
relationship. And beyond. In G Wyatt (ed). Rogers
therapeutic conditions evolution, theory and
practice. Volume 1: Congruence. Ross-on-Wye:
PCCS Books.
Worsley R (2008). The ground of our relating,
Martin Bubers I and Thou. In Haugh and Paul
(eds). The therapeutic relationship: perspectives
and themes. Ross-on-Wye: PCCS Books.
Love as an adjective
becomes a verb, loving,
which acknowledges
the changing and fluid
nature of the therapeutic
relational process over
time
23
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or therapy to be worthwhile it
needs to have foundations in the
social, cultural and political realms
of human existence. While this
perspective is still not adequately
embedded in many training courses
or in therapists practice, the relevant
arguments are widely discussed.
Debate about the social context of
therapy usually addresses human
diversity, power and oppression. I
advocate that love needs to be added
to this agenda as it is significant
socially, politically and culturally.
Loveindifferencehate
For me, the opposite of love is indifference,
an absence of engagement. A contrasting
but related attitude to love is hate.
Consequently, I have in mind a simple
triangle of loveindifferencehate.
The stance of indifference can involve lack
of awareness, avoidance or disinterest. At
times indifference can be more terrible
than hate. Whereas hate indicates a level
of interest or presence, we might not
know what an indifferent person or group
Kay McFarlane
Kay is currently returning to
psychotherapy work following a break.
She is a lecturer with a particular interest
in prejudice, identity and oppression. She
relishes working with people on various
courses and runs modules in diversity
and anti-oppressive practice at Leeds
Metropolitan University.
24
Indifference
Love
Hate
If we think we are
not taking a position in
therapy then we are
colluding with existing
social dynamics
www.ukcp.org.uk
Love as a stance
Love is given less attention as a social
process, so it is our stance of love that
particularly needs clarification and
development. Aung San Suu Kyi (2012)
declared that there can never be enough
kindness in the world and even tiny acts
of kindness can change peoples lives.
Sometimes when we talk about love it
can sound like a pretentious, weak or
twee avoidance of conflict or complexity.
However, dismissing expressions of love as
trite or indulgent is a potential trap. When
doing experiential work with groups, Ive
witnessed many times how powerful and
potent the experience and expression of
love and care in a group can be, and how
exploration so often leads to increased
engagement with extremely challenging
material. Love can be courageous, strong
and confronting. In spite of the pervasive
notions of romantic love throughout many
cultures, it is relevant and significant that
in training groups people often realise
that they find it easier to express anger
or hate than non-romantic love and care.
It is certainly worth investigating the
social origins and significance of this. To
shrink from considering love might serve
competitive, individualistic and destructive
dynamics. It might lead to spending more
time in the hate or indifference corners
of the loveindifferencehate triangle, in
The Psychotherapist
Crucial interweaving
Habitually overlooking or excluding social
processes from the therapy arena reduces
therapy to a very limited exploration of a
tiny element of the clients existence. It is
therefore inadequate to explore only clients
experience and expressions of love or to
address feelings of love between therapist
and client; this risks limiting the work to the
personal or individualistic realm. We also
need to examine the social, political and
cultural significance of love. For example,
a client may talk about wanting to find a
loving, committed life partner. The therapist
may explore with the client their feelings,
their relationships with early carers, their
previous romantic relationships and their
current relational patterns. This might be
useful to a degree, but it risks facilitating
the client to live his/her life according to
prevailing norms and values.
A therapist who incorporates social and
political realms into their practice might
also explore this clients place in the
world, the origin of their ideas about love
and how love influences or shapes his/
her life. Similarly, if or when therapist and
client feel love (or indifference or hate)
towards each other, as well as exploring the
challenging personal resonances, links need
to be explored in the social and political
realms. How we perceive, talk about and
experience love is culturally, socially and
politically significant (Foucault, 1976), and
It is often beneficial
to explicitly express to
our clients our stance on
pertinent social issues
therefore advantages and disadvantages
various groups in various ways. For example,
consider who loses and gains from notions
of maternal and paternal love, of romantic
love being the cornerstone of pairings, and
of the variability in the human capacity for
love.
References
Aung San Suu Kyi (2012). BBC News.16 June [live
broadcast: TV].
Foucault M (1976). The history of sexuality: an
introduction. Harmondsworth, Penguin.
Giddens A (1993). New rules of the sociological
method (2nd ed). Stanford: Stanford University
Press.
Kearney A (1996). Counselling, class and politics:
undeclared influences in therapy. Ross-on-Wye:
PCCS Books.
Kondrat M (2002). Actor-centred social work:
re-visioning person-in-environment through a
critical theory lens. Social Work, 47(4), pp435448.
25
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Therapeutic encounter
a kind of loving
The emotional connection between client and therapist is at the core of therapy,
regardless of theoretical orientation, explain David Bott and Pam Howard. But
theory and an objective setting can help to keep away the turmoil
Trouble begins, though, when you find, of
the pigeons being put into Skinner boxes,
that first of all there is a rule in the lab that
nobody but a particular lady is allowed
to handle the pigeons. And then you find
that the pigeons adore the lady who puts
them in the boxes, that they swoon with
pleasure in her hands. And this part of
the story is not generally recorded in the
research results. Because love, you see, is
not what it is supposed to be about.
(Gregory Bateson, in Kirschenbaum
and Henderson, 1990: 187)
he work of psychotherapy is
largely concerned with love
(Bott, 2001; Howard, 2008). It seeks
to bring about an exploration of the
clients own unique way of loving, or,
as Sigmund Freud famously stated,
Pam
Howard
26
The work of
psychotherapy is largely
concerned with love. It
seeks to bring about an
exploration of the
clients own unique way
of loving
David Bott
www.ukcp.org.uk
The Psychotherapist
Implicit relational
knowing underpins all
our interactions and
informs how to be with
another
theory. Elegant conceptual constructions
provide fascinating accounts of the
problem, preferably with references to
obscure papers. Here, the therapist is
more in love with their approach than
concerned to make emotional connection
with their client. At the other extreme,
therapeutic passivity can show itself in a
kind, mindless, warm relating. While this
gives the appearance of valuing the client
it misses the point by privileging a set
of generalised relational principles over
the complexities of the clients emotional
world. Arguably, short of doing nothing
at all, therapy takes its most passive form
when process is reduced to procedure. The
encounter can be rendered entirely safe by
doggedly following a set of prescriptions
laid down by the model. When the
unpredictable shows itself, it is neutralised
by a distraction in the form of a contentbased activity. Timelines, geneograms
and objective setting can be particularly
helpful in keeping away the turmoil and
uncertainty that arises when two human
beings connect emotionally. In essence,
what we have here is a range of strategies
for ensuring that love does not enter the
therapy room. P
References
Bott D (2001). Towards a family-centred therapy.
Postmodern developments in family therapy
and the person-centred contribution. Counselling
Psychology Quarterly, 14( 2), pp111118.
Bott D and Howard P (2012). The drama of the
therapeutic encounter: a cross-modality approach.
Sage.
Hoffman L (1993). Exchanging voices: a
collaborative approach to family therapy. London:
Karnac.
Howard P (2008). Psychoanalytic psychotherapy.
In S Paul and S Haugh (eds). The therapeutic
relationship. London: Process Press.
Kirschenbaum H and Henderson V (eds) (1990).
Carl Rogers dialogues. London: Constable.
Stern D et al (1998). Non-intepretative
mechanisms in psychoanalytic therapy:
the something more than interpretation.
International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 79,
pp903921.
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Transcultural perspectives on
love and hate: the yin and yang of
relationships, within and without therapy
Divine Charura and Professor Colin Lago explore the nature of love from
various transcultural perspectives
Colin Lago
28
www.ukcp.org.uk
The Psychotherapist
Concluding thoughts
We note that the list of ten points featured
above and the subsequent ideas related
to hate are profoundly interlinked with
individuals cultures, experiences and hence
world views. Such aspects are therefore
important for therapists to be aware of,
and we have experience that these cultural
values or positions often impact on clients
in ways which may cause them confusion,
anger, pain, hate or other emotions which
emerge in the therapeutic encounter.
Furthermore, we are aware that clients
experiences may result in them projecting
onto the therapist a diverse range of
feelings. How then do we, as therapists, deal
with such dynamics? For example, how do
we cope when clients hate or indeed love
us? Here we turn to Winnicott whose wise
words resonate profoundly:
You accept love and even the in-love
state without flinching and without
acting out your response. You accept
hate, and meet it with strength rather
than revenge.
(Winnicott, 1963: 229) P
References
Carter RT (1990). The influence of race and racial
identity in psychotherapy: towards a racially
inclusive model. New York: John Wiley and Sons.
Charura D (2011). The effects of an African
heritage. In C Lago (ed) (2011). The handbook of
transcultural counselling and psychotherapy. Open
University Press/McGraw-Hill.
Keys S (2010). Love in therapy: risks, costs and
challenges. Presentation to Person Centred
Association Conference, Belgium, June.
Vontress C (2012). Counseling across the cultural
divide: the Clemmont Vontress reader. Ross-OnWye: PCCS Books.
Winnicott D (1963). The mentally ill in your case
load. In DW Winnicott (1965). The maturational
processes and the facilitating environment:
studies in the theory of emotional development.
International Psycho-analytical Library. London:
Hogarth Press and Institute of Psychoanalysis, pp
641276.
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Paula
Boston
30
www.ukcp.org.uk
Current theory
The emphasis on cognitions made way for
social constructionism, which emphasised
language creating between people. Values
could be seen as a societal production of
options rather than innate characteristics
of the individual. The position of strict
but loving parent in the paragraph earlier
could be understood in the context of
current discourses about tough love or
historical ones of spare the rod. Love can be
understood in terms of western romantic
true love or filial love of obedience and
self-sacrifice. This constructionist theory
allowed clients to experience less personal
blame and more freedom to question the
embedded assumptions.
In its efforts to develop a more relational
understanding between people, did
systemic therapy do so at a cost of not fully
attending to the individual felt experience?
In response, more emphasis was placed
on the nuanced detail and emotional
atmosphere of conversation. It was referred
to as experience near conversation or a
thick rather than thin story. Parry (1998)
suggests that it is the very intensity in the
emotional storytelling that moves family
members to have more empathic, attuned
reactions. Social constructionists expanded
to include embodied conversational
practices beyond words. Small utterances or
body language could be seen as indications
of important potential communication.
Case study
Peter, in a family therapy session, provides a
highly emotional account of the time when
he saw his granddaughter, Penny, drive
recklessly away into oncoming traffic. She
was nearly killed as she was escaping from
Small utterances or
body language could
be seen as indications
of important potential
communication
The Psychotherapist
Conclusion
Systemic therapists are encouraged to
consider the relevant system not only of
relationships of people, their language
constructions, but also relationships
between words, expressions and bodily
felt experiences. The careful attention
to subtleties of language brings family
therapists closer to the psychodynamic
References
Dozier R, Hicks M, Cornille T and Peterson G (1998).
The effect of Tomms therapeutic questioning
styles on therapeutic alliance: a clinical analog
study. Family Process, 37(2), pp189200.
Minuchin S and Nichols M (1993). Family healing:
tales of hope and renewal from family therapy. New
York: Free Press.
Parry TA (1998). Reasons of the heart: the
narrative construction of emotions. Journal of
Systemic Therapies, 17(2), pp6578.
Tomm K, Hoyt MF and Madigan SP (1998).
Honoring our internalized others and the ethics
of caring: a conversation with Karl Tomm. In MF
Hoyt (ed). The handbook of constructive therapies:
innovative approaches from leading practitioners.
San Francisco: Jossey Bass, pp198218.
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discussion
Isha
MckenzieMavinga
32
that their own training needs were not being fully met.
Inevitably this raises questions about how Black issues and
racism are addressed with clients. Ragina, an Indian therapist,
shares how she coped with this challenge:
Training was not readily applicable to people from my
culture and therefore my work with Asian people would have
to be carefully considered, keeping the appropriate values
in focus. We had a Black support group, which was very
helpful. We took our insights back to the main group. I dont
feel that I learnt a lot of theory regarding Black issues when I
was training. I had to do a lot of the work myself about these
issues outside of the course, as it wasnt really available in
terms of our training, which was mainly Eurocentric.
1 It must be noted that not all individuals from African and Asian backgrounds identify as Black, so I am using
the term Black people to include people of colour as they are the most visible minority and least represented in
the field of psychotherapy and counselling.
2 Tuckwell G (2002: 17) describes institutional racism as consisting of established laws, customs and practices
that unfairly restrict the opportunities of defined groups of people, whether or not the individuals maintaining
these practices have racist intentions.
www.ukcp.org.uk
discussion
Living in a racist society
No right to be here
Jacinta, a client of Jamaican heritage, suffered denial of her
birth father and a negative gaze from her stepfather, coupled
with the pain of beatings. Being ignored by the family and
the burden of shame and embarrassment, in addition to
racism in her workplace, caused her to believe that she had
no right to be here.
These intergenerational processes are transmitted via a
third concept I call the Black western archetype. Black
western archetypes are essentially Eurocentric, unconscious
psychological processes portrayed in the relational process.
When made apparent by mirroring, they reflect how racism
permeates the collective unconscious and psychology of
Black peoples. This concept is derived from a combination of
traditional theory and an idea about Black issues.
Jungs view of archetypes (1972), as symbolic representations
of the human psyche that can be altered by becoming
conscious, is significantly located in the concept of Black
western archetypes and the influence of culture and
racism on the unconscious: Fanon suggests that the racist
contents of the collective conscious are imposed by White
culture (VanoyAdams, 1996: 165). Inherited psychological
patterns become influenced by racist images, behaviour and
attitudes that can be recognised in the unconscious life of
Black people. They are recognisable in outer behaviour and
attitude, and known as internalised racism3 in individuals.
These psychological patterns are also portrayed in the family
structures of both perpetrators and survivors of racism.
Following Jungs perception that once the shadow archetype
is made conscious it can be modified gives hope for the
process of recovery from racism.
3 This is a negative, usually unconscious, acting out or acting towards self, in ways that can be emotionally harmful and distort identity. For Black
people, in its extreme, this can be seen in skin bleaching and skin scraping caused by a wish to be White.
The Psychotherapist
33
discussion
Black issues and integrate learning into skills and
Explore
theory modules in training courses.
a Black empathic approach into interracial and
Integrate
transracial work. This offers support and provides a safe
34
References
Jung C (1972). The archetypes and the collective unconscious. London:
Routledge & Kegan Paul.
Mckenzie-Mavinga I (2009). Black issues in the therapeutic process.
Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan.
Tuckwell G (2002). Racial identity, White counsellors and therapists.
Buckingham, Philadelphia: Open University Press.
Vanoy-Adams M (1996). The multi-cultural imagination. London: Routledge.
www.ukcp.org.uk
ukcp news
A snapshot of the
2012 Research Conference
Members of the Research Faculty provide an overview of some of the
presentations and papers
Chris Evans
Chris Evans was the first keynote speaker of
the morning, and his presentation provided
a stimulating and engaging challenge
related to the conceptual metaphors of
hard and soft science. Chris told us that
hard science is concerned with rigorous,
replicable and predictable outcomes
that show discernible results and impact
the science of mathematics is a phallic
case in point. Soft science is more often
applied to the social sciences, which are
noted for their endless possibilities, their
moderating and mediating variables and
infinite incompleteness. He used the two
metaphors to illuminate the hard numbers
of psychotherapy clients and the soft
transmutable interactions of therapist and
client. He argued persuasively that the
diversity, super-complexity and uniqueness
of psychotherapy requires us to transcend
the quantitative versus qualitative debate,
weaving together the hard and soft
threads into hard evidence and reflexive,
experiential, embodied complexity. His
presentation brought together the tension
that exists between elements that are hard,
differentiated and complete and those
that are suffused with infinite possibility.
Terence Nice
Mick Cooper
Mick Coopers stimulating keynote
presentation discussed an evolving
qualitative research method that attempts
to articulate and explain multiple change
processes in therapy. Key ideas underlying
this work are that clients can be helped
in multiple ways and therefore therapies
hold the potential for multiple pathways
of change (although modalities theorise
change processes differently). Using a
causal network approach, his research seeks
to map out the complex relationships and
links between key independent variables,
ie therapist activities, client activities and
helpful effects. Most of this research has
The Psychotherapist
From left: Wendy Hollway, Mick Cooper, Peter Stratton, Angela Cotter, Chris Evans, Linda Finlay
Wendy Hollway
This keynote presentation was organised
into four sub-themes: the clash between
paradigms (scientific constructionist);
the critique of epistemic objectivity
as impossible; alternative reflexivity;
and objectivity through subjectivity or
reflecting on emotion-based experience.
These themes raised a range of questions/
reflections on important issues, most with
wider implications for both clinicians
and researchers. For example, how do
researchers achieve objectivity, in the
sense of fairness, disinterestedness, based
on evidence and recognising reality. And
what about the psychological processes of
making sense of experience (thinking and
reflecting on emotional experience)?
The key reflections were further illustrated
Judith Ackroyd
Judith Ackroyd brought a challenging
dimension to the conference, drawing on
the insights of drama research in different
settings. This raised important issues for
embodied reflexive research. Can research
35
ukcp news
Paper presentations, session B
Linda Finlay
Linda Finlay gave a moving keynote,
demonstrating a relational-centred
approach to research, illustrated by her
own experience of supervising research
with women about traumatic abortion.
She drew out the parallel process in
research supervision and the research
process, similar to clinical supervision. The
womens stories are hard to hear and tell,
with an element of dissociation possible
in researcher and supervisor due to the
harrowing subject. The importance of
paying close attention is tantamount,
alongside empathy and compassion.
With a plea to move from talk of bias
to a celebration of subjectivity and
intersubjectivity, she emphasised the
importance of reflexivity in the work of the
supervisor, as well as the researcher, and of
setting research in its individual, relational
and social-historical context. Angela Cotter
36
Judith Ackroyd
www.ukcp.org.uk
ukcp news
*CHRE will be changing its name to the Professional Standards Authority from 1 December.
The Psychotherapist
37
ukcp news
It gives the public the
assurance that if they go
to a practitioner on an
accredited register, they
can be confident of the
quality of care theyre
going to get
view is that the model were developing
of assured voluntary registers is more
of a right touch for psychotherapy
and counselling than the full statutory
regulation model, which is a rather
rigid and predetermined way of getting
professions to conform. One of the
strengths of the voluntary register scheme
were developing is that it places a great
deal of responsibility with the professional
bodies themselves. There is less weight on
the external setting of rules and standards.
TW: The idea of accrediting existing
registers is very different from that of
statutory regulation, where individuals
are registered. How will the authoritys
scheme benefit our members who are
ordinary practising professionals?
HC: The first thing to say is that it is a
collaborative scheme, which we have
planned very successfully over the past
18 months with some 40 organisations.
It places responsibility for standards,
for determining what is and isnt
appropriate conduct, very clearly with
the occupational register itself. Statutory
regulation defines the standards for you,
whereas in the voluntary register model
you define the standards and we accredit
the organisational approach to your own
profession and membership. For the
first time, there will be a statutory body
accrediting the quality of what you do.
It gives the public the assurance that if
they go to a practitioner on an accredited
register, they can be confident of the
quality of care theyre going to get. Most
complaints about private practitioners
we hear about are to do with cost of
treatments and whether people got what
they thought they were paying for. There
are also issues around inappropriate
behaviours and sexual boundaries, which
is clearly a particular risk in your field for
reasons to do with the kind of clients you
have and the kind of techniques you use.
I see this scheme as a form of consumer
38
ukcp news
to clarify such terms on their register
in some transparent framework, for
example NVQs?
HC: This is a really interesting area and
its one weve struggled with. For any
occupational group, you clearly have to
have an entry level that is good enough.
Its important to remember that, in
statutory regulation, people who enter
the register are only those who are
good enough to pass those entry level
requirements. They arent necessarily the
top 10 per cent but they pass the entry
standard. How do you determine whos
good enough to be practising in your
field? There will be considerable variation,
so weve decided were not going to
define the level of qualification for any
particular occupation. We are going to
ask the experts to give us their definition
and method of quality assuring the level
of entry to their register. If somebody
said we think NVQ is an appropriate level
for this part of our list and graduate is an
appropriate level for that part, wed say, as
long as you have clear reasons, thats up to
you, youre the experts.
TW: Consumers would expect
transparency...
HC: We would expect absolute
transparency for the consumer.
TW: Psychotherapy qualifications
are generally at masters level, but
there is quite a range of counselling
qualifications, from two-year courses to
masters degrees.
HC: This is quite normal in other
occupational groups. We would hope in
time that qualifications would be visible to
the public on the register. We are trying to
build public confidence and a lot of that
comes through greater transparency.
TW: Youd have a problem if two or more
organisations claimed or used a similar
title but used it very differently.
HC: These things will come about over
time. We will have to arbitrate and reach
agreements. One of the things weve
already agreed is that if someone was on
your register and you removed them for
inappropriate behaviour towards clients,
they couldnt leave your register and join
BACP. There has to be mutual recognition.
TW: Quite commonly, youll have
practitioners on more than one register,
and some of those will be statutorily
regulated . Medical psychotherapists
The Psychotherapist
39
ukcp news
Because, actually, were levelling out the
differences between those two groups and
we would want to make that case.
40
www.ukcp.org.uk
ukcp news
Emphasis on resolution
The new C&CP shifts the focus from
determining how complaints can be managed
to facilitating opportunities for both parties to
settle their differences in an informal way.
The Psychotherapist
Reporting
Produces regular complaints monitoring,
performance and statistical reports that
currently are compiled manually.
Proportionate
All those involved will undertake training
and induction programmes that will enable
them to undertake their roles objectively
and ensure that proportionality is achieved.
Resolution will be at the forefront of their
dealings with clients and therapists.
Public representation
There will be more lay involvement in
decision making. Lay members will work
alongside panel members from relevant
colleges pertinent to each individual case.
Responsive
We are aligning internal resources to support
C&CP and strengthen service standards to
ensure that clients, therapists, committee and
panel members receive timely responses.
Seniors and
disability network
A small support group was started a
year ago under the aegis of the Diversity
Equality and Social Responsibility
Committee, which has been running
since then and welcomes new members.
We use the telephone conferencing
facility provided by UKCP to meet on the
phone once a month and adjust the time
of the meeting according to the needs
and preferences of members.
We aim to provide positive and
constructive support for the challenges
which we tend to face in older age or
with disability.
41
ukcp news
Exchanging travellers
tales was the most
appreciated aspect of
the day
Chair:
42
www.ukcp.org.uk
ukcp news
Embrace the idea of
nothing as a starting
point
for the seed of our being (holding the
meaning and purpose of our life) to
germinate, and in so doing being able
to grow into becoming the plant of our
being. I include this vignette because
exchanging travellers tales seems to
have been the most appreciated aspect
of the day.
A work in progress
We then moved on to the open forum.
Under discussion was how our group
might be recognised as a UKCP faculty .
This is a work in progress and we will be
writing to all member organisations to
2-4pm
Trish Turner and Liz Jenkins
Trish and Liz invite you to the George Hotel and Pub for the
Katy invites you to join her at midday. The food is good, its a
great pub and you get to meet, mingle and talk shop.
The Psychotherapist
43
ukcp members
A safe space
A neutral stance
44
www.ukcp.org.uk
ukcp members
important to
make sure
that your
profile on
the website
is informative
and up to date.
We have produced
a guide to give you some
ideas and hints on how to do this
and what to include. If you have amended
your profile before, this is the ideal time
Referral services
Email scams
Emails are currently circulating from an
individual in the Netherlands asking to come
to the UK for therapy. The individual states
that they wish to pay an advance fee. The fee
arrives in the form of a bank draft but for a
larger amount than requested. The individual
apologises for the mistake and requests that
the recipient send the excess amount to a
travel agent who is arranging the individuals
travel to the UK. The bank draft is a forgery.
One member has already been affected by this
scam.We therefore urge members to be vigilant
about such emails and to exercise judgment
when responding to anything such as the above.
The Psychotherapist
45
ukcp members
Book reviews
What will you do with
my story?
Elizabeth Meakins
(2012)
ISBN 9781855757929
16.99
Published by UKCP/
Karnac
[Freud] is not seeking deep dark secrets.
The opposite is true. He asks for a narrative
from the ordinary.1
Elizabeth Meakins has achieved something
relatively rare in psychoanalytic writing.
She talks to her reader, in a vernacular of
subtlety and presence, about an analytical
psychotherapy of ordinary lives in which
she and her patients share their suffering
and the struggle to weave meaning out
of the common lot. In the process, she
honours her patients and their work, and
the power of a diverse psychoanalytic
tradition, to bring enriched common
sense2 to therapeutic endeavour.
Eloquent distillation
In a little more than 100 pages, Meakins
offers an eloquent distillation of her own
avowedly pluralistic thinking on some of
the fundamental themes of analytic theory
and practice the centrality of the clients
story and language, how unconscious
processes manifest themselves in the
therapeutic relationship, the subtle
balances of creativity and destruction in
our assertions of privacy, the patterning
of our early relationships, our sexual
identities, the therapists and patients
sharing of uncertainty and meaning as a
collaborative hope.
But this is not a work of psychoanalytic
theory. It is a book about the
collaboration of patients and therapists
living in the work together. The voices
of patients, and their echoes in our own
bodies, are strong and moving. They are
the heart of each chapter. The poetry of
Meakins reflections accompanies their
stories and pays homage to the sacred in
the everyday.
1 Bollas, C (2007). The Freudian moment. London: Karnac Kindle, loc. 173.
2 Mitchell, SA (1997). Influence and autonomy in psychoanalysis. Hillsdale, NJ: The Analytic Press, p.209.
46
www.ukcp.org.uk
ukcp members
The Psychotherapist
Differing attitudes
During this period, I also realised just how
little had been written about spiritual
direction in a UK context. The North
American literature is considerable, and
attitudes towards spiritual direction are
very different from those found in the UK.
In the USA and Canada there are numerous
masters-level training courses, something
that as yet are just not available in this
country, where the provision of courses is
still thin on the ground, and where there
are still directors who disavow the whole
idea of the necessity and value of specific
training.
It was a
while
before
I felt
confident
enough perhaps brave enough to
express my emperors new clothes view of
this situation and to challenge traditional
attitudes. But, once I found my voice, I
realised that I was not alone in my thinking
and that others shared my experience.
The challenges
It is out of all these circumstances that
my book has emerged, and by the time
I started to write it I was already pretty
convinced that the similarities between
the two activities far outweighed the
differences. However, during the next two
years, I became increasingly aware that
such differences as there were almost
exclusively involved boundaries and
ethical issues rather than content, process
or even theoretical understanding. Two
things soon became clear to me. First
that psychotherapists do their clients a
disservice when issues of spirituality are
ignored or pathologised. And second, when
I considered spiritual direction in the light
of the common factors that Frank and Frank
identify as being present in all forms of
therapy (and indeed in all forms of healing),
it could be argued that the practice of
spiritual direction is consistent with the
stated criteria.
Ethical practice
During the process of writing the book,
and since its publication, my ideas have
developed and progressed. It has become
clear that the fundamental question that
lies at the root of the considerations I have
raised is one of ethical practice. In the case
of psychotherapy, it would be considered
47
ukcp members
completely unethical, unprofessional and
unacceptable for a therapists personal
views to intrude into the therapy to
the extent that something of particular
significance to the client could be ignored,
dismissed or pathologised. Most therapists
would claim to take a holistic view of the
person and yet some would not include the
spiritual in their definition of what holistic
means, despite the acceptance by the NHS
of the importance of acknowledging this
element in patient care. In fact, as early as
1948, the World Health Organization stated:
Health is not just the absence of disease,
it is a state of physical, psychological,
social and spiritual well being (Spiritual
Care Matters, 2009: 6). UKCP states:
Psychotherapy involves exploring feelings,
beliefs, thoughts and relevant events
(www.ukcp.org.uk/article1620.html), clearly
indicating that a clients beliefs may be
part of therapy. Adrian Rhodes, chair of the
European Association of Psychotherapy also
stated in a UKCP press release in May this
year: It is ... wrong to ... define religious faith
as a pathological state to be eradicated.
Psychological principles
In the case of spiritual direction, lack
of knowledge and understanding of
basic psychological principles can even,
in certain cases, be considered to be a
danger to the mental and emotional
wellbeing of directees, which would
certainly constitute unethical practice. The
hostile attitude shown by some spiritual
directors towards anything they consider
indicates a professional approach also
helps to maintain a spiritual direction good,
psychotherapy bad attitude among some
clergy and others with devoutly held faith
views, many of whom would, in my view,
benefit enormously from some personal
therapy. Maintaining such a negative view
does nothing to help improve and increase
access to psychotherapy, therapy that could
well contribute to idea that the glory of
God is a person fully alive quoted above.
I am also becoming more aware of
the effect on the therapist of working
with clients spirituality and find myself
wondering whether the reluctance of
some therapists to engage with this
aspect of their clients material might
be seen as an unconscious avoidance of
personal challenge. By and large, therapists
are able to work with all sorts of client
material and are willing to examine their
countertransferential responses in either
48
A modality of psychotherapy?
In the final chapter I conclude that the
similarities between psychotherapy
and spiritual direction far outweigh
the differences. Bearing in mind Frank
and Franks common factors theory, I
suggest that, in fact, spiritual direction
should be considered to be a modality
of psychotherapy. My observation is that
spiritual direction is no more different from
mainstream therapy than other specific
areas, for example bereavement or addiction
counselling. While I understand that not
everyone may be willing to go as far as this, I
invite readers to reflect on my proposal with
a genuinely open mind and a willingness
to share with and learn from each other so
that understanding and cross-fertilisation
between those involved in the two activities
can be increased and developed.
Throughout the book, I emphasise my
References
Birmingham M and and Connelly WJ (1994).
Witnessing to the fire. Kansas City: Sheed & Ward.
Frank, J. D. & Frank, J. B. (1991). Persuasion and
healing: A comparative study of psychotherapy
(3rd ed.). Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University
Levison C (ed) (2009). Spiritual care matters.
Edinburgh: NHS Education for Scotland.
Invitation
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Pink Therapy has published papers
translated entirely for free by a number
of volunteer translators
These papers on gender and sexual diversity therapy
and another on sexual orientation, initially appeared in
a slightly amended format in the Sage Handbook for
Counselling and Psychotherapy (third edition) and now
the English versions are being made available alongside
foreign translations.
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Omission
Board of Trustees biography
Issue 51, Summer 2012 p29
Apologies to Inger Gordon for omitting
to print that sheis also the current
Chair of the College of Family, Couple
and Systemic Therapy.
Key ACAT: Association of Cognitive and Analytic Therapists; AFT: Association for Family Therapy and Systemic Practice; BC: The Bowlby Centre;
BCPC: Bath Centre for Psychotherapy and Counselling; CABP: Chiron Association for Body Psychotherapists; CCPE: Centre for Counselling &
Psychotherapy Education; CFAR: Centre for Freudian Analysis and Research; FCP: Foundation for Psychotherapy and Counselling; GAPS: Guild
of Analytical Psychology and Spirituality; GASW: Group Analysis South West; GCL: Gestalt Centre, London; GPTI: Gestalt Psychotherapy Training
Institute; HIPC: Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapy College; IATE: Institute for Arts in Therapy and Education; IGAP: Independent Group of
Analytical Psychologists; ITA: Institute of Transactional Analysis; MC: Minster Centre; MI: Metanoia Institute; NCHP: National College of Hypnosis and
Psychotherapy; NGPC Northern Guild for Psychotherapy and Counselling; PA: Philadelphia Association; PET Psychosynthesis and Education Trust;
SEA: Society for Existential Analysis; SITE: Site for Contemporary Psychoanalysis; SPCRC: School of Psychotherapy and Counselling Regents College;
SPTI: Sherwood Psychotherapy Training Institute; TEM: Temenos; TER: Terapia; UPCA: Universities Psychotherapy and Counselling Association;
WPF: WPF Therapy Ltd
The Psychotherapist
51
october
27 & 28 October 2012 Desford,
Leicestershire
Imago Relationship Therapy - an
introduction to Imago theory & skills for
working with couples
Imago Relationship Therapy is a
comprehensive and practical therapeutic
approach for helping people experiencing
relationship difficulties to achieve
relationships which are safe, passionate
and satisfying. Facilitator: Montreal
psychologist Dr Sophie Slade. For more
information contact Anita Mountain.
T: 01455 824 475
E: ta@mountain-associates.co.uk
W: www.sophieslade.com and www.
mountain-associates.co.uk
November
6 November 2012 London
Body dysmorphic disorder. Recognition,
assessment and treatment masterclass
The masterclass delivers an overview of
the key issues relevant to the recognition,
assessment and treatment of Body
Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Co-ordinated
by Anusha Govender, Principal Cognitive
Behavioural Psychotherapist. For more
information contact Nick Worner.
T: 020 3513 6305
E: masterclass@swlstg-tr.nhs.uk
W: bit.ly/HWLGxI
E: slade.imago@bellnet.ca
W: www.sophieslade.com/basic.html
An evolving art?
Contemporary developments in supervision
Saturday 2 March 2013, London
The practice of supervision, like its sister the
practice of psychotherapy, has factors in common
across a diversity of approaches and special
interests. As we are buffeted by complex demands
personally, professionally and politically, finding and
consolidating common supervisory principles and
practices is just as important as celebrating what
makes practice different. This conference offers an
opportunity to hear a multiplicity of supervisory
voices coming together to create a polyphonic
conversation.
More details to follow soon. For further information please contact events@ukcp.org.uk
or telephone 020 7014 9966.
52
www.ukcp.org.uk
10 November 2012
The Psychotherapist
E: anna@londoncentreforpsychodrama.org
W: www.londoncentreforpsychodrama.org
24 November 2012
Exploring Existential Conscience in
Therapeutic Practice
53
54
DECember
1 December 2012 Hemel
Hempstead
Trauma and the Body: Dissociation and
Somatisation
Led by Carolyn and Rob Spring, exploring
why so many trauma survivors suffer
from numerous physical issues eg chronic
pain and chronic fatigue syndrome, or
a difficulty in connecting with the body
at all. Well be looking at the impact of
trauma on the body, and how it seems that
the body can also be a key to unlocking
the psychological issues of trauma, in
particular with reference to dissociative
disorders.
For more information contact Rob Spring.
T: 01480 878409
E: info@pods-online.org.uk
W: www.pods-online.org.uk
www.ukcp.org.uk
4 - 8 December 2012
Nr Budapest, Hungary
Chiron and the ancient mysteries
Residential exploring the archetype of
Chiron and its implications for self and
world healing. Uses and evokes the
energies of the field and our ancestors
for reconnection.
For more information contact Bronwen
Rees.
T: 07809 637 533
E: dr.bronwenrees@gmail.com
W: eastwestsanctuary.com
The Psychotherapist
8 December 2012
January 2013
1 January 2013 - 1 March 2014
Scarborough
TScPTI CPD Certificate: Bodywork in
Therapy
Eight three day modules over 14 months
with Janet Hills to deepen your theoretical
A TRADITIONAL
TRANSACTIONAL
ANALYSIS
LONDON SEMINAR
Saturday & Sunday
4 & 5 May 2013
55
56
February 2013
1 February 2013 Chester
Mindfulness and Cancer
1 day Master Class
Contact Francis Hooton
T: 01248382939
E: f.hooton@bangor.ac.uk
W: http://www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness/
www.ukcp.org.uk
march 2013
2 March 2013
UKCP Promoting
Occupational Practice Committee
Annual supervision conference
An evolving art? Contemporary
developments in supervision
The practice of supervision, like its
sister the practice of psychotherapy, has
factors in common across a diversity
of approaches and special interests. As
we are buffeted by complex demands
The Psychotherapist
June 2013
4 - 7 June 2013 North Wales
Specialist Teacher Training in MBCT
4 day residential
T: 01248 382 939
E: f.hooton@bangor.ac.uk
W: www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness
APRIL 2013
11 April 2013 Oxford
Enquiry Process
2 day workshopT: 01248 382 939
E: f.hooton@bangor.ac.uk
W: www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness
august 2013
2 August 2013 Chester
Mindfulness and Brain Injury
T: 01248 382 939
E: f.hooton@bangor.ac.uk
W: www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness
MAY 2013
3 May 2013 Chester
Mindfulness and Psychological
Processes
1 day Master ClassContact Francis Hooton
T: 01248 382 939
E: f.hooton@bangor.ac.uk
W: www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness
www.holisticinsurance.co.uk
or telephone 0845 222 2236
Holistic Insurance Services is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority
57
Subscription amount
o New o Renewal
o 50
o 25*
If you are claiming the student discount, please give details of the
educational institution, and the name and dates of your course:
The course places high value on experiential work having its own
potency in therapy, and honours symbol based language as the
prime energy in any healing work. Please see
http://www.sesame-insitute.org/psyche-soul for more.
The inclusive fee is 2500. Successful graduates will be awarded
a Sesame Institute Certificate in the Use of drama and movement
in therapy.
More information: If you would like further details of this or any
of the other courses Sesame runs please contact Christine Hanfrey
at the Sesame Institute.
info@sesame-institute.org
www.sesame-institute.org
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to get a quote or take out cover online
or call: 0844
The Psychotherapist
59
Autumn Conference
www.tccr.ac.uk
020 7380 1975
TCCR
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London W1T 5PB
60
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su Sp
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GROUP
INSURANCE
BEAUMONTS
group
LOCATIONS
BE
INS
(Mode
(ModeWork)
Work)
GESTALT CENTRE
LONDON
Est. 1980
Venue:
Venue:BPS
BPSLondon
LondonOffices
Offices
Fee:
Fee:350
350
www.schematherapists.org.uk
www.schematherapists.org.uk
.
Gestalt in Organisational Development
- Core Concepts for Working with Organisations
2-day workshop in spring 2013
.
- Giving Voicefor those afraid to sing and shout!
8 & 9 December 2012
- Working with Children & Adolescents
812 April 2013
- Working with Gender Identity 20 April 2013
..
We also have a selection of well-appointed,
comfortable Therapy Rooms for hire from 6.75ph
For details of all our courses, visit our website:
www.gestaltcentre.co.uk
contact us on
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M.A. in Transpersonal
Counselling and Psychotherapy
u Facilitating
u Alchemy
CCPE
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London W2 6NE Tel: 020 7266 3006
Email: info@ccpe.org.uk
www.ccpe.org.uk.org.uk
62
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Page 1
Committee and former trainees and to hear about the training programme.
47 Nelson Square
e: admin@guildofpsychotherapists.org.uk
www.guildofpsychotherapists.org.uk
Application closing dates for training and introductory courses: Spring 2013
Professional Training in
Working with Gender and
Sexual Diversity Clients
The Society of Analytical Psychology
The Society
of Analytical Psychology
The UKs leading provider of training in Jungian analysis
'^DdWW
K
^K^Zd
K
/^^
DW
Online Directory of Pink Therapists
d
W
www.pinktherapy.com
and
Cambridge
for those
interested in Jung, Jungian analysis and
For
further
information:
clinic@thesap.org.uk
psychotherapy. The following are some of our upcoming talks:
10th Nov The Labyrinth of Addiction (Cambridge)
Public Events
17th Nov: A Dangerours Method: Sabina Spielrein, Pioneer in
Psychoanalysis
23 June: The Dark
Side
of The Self (Cambridge)
as Patient and Analyst (Oxford)
30 Dec:
June:Cultural
Dreams,
Reverie
Faith in Brief
Dynamic
Therapy
1st
Complex
&&
Otherness
Shifting
Shadows
in
(London)
South
Africa (London)
7 July:
Buddhism
& Syndrome
The Archetypal
Image
(London)
16th
Mar:Jung,
Boarding
Schools
Broken
Attachments:
For
A further
Hiddeninformation:
Trauma (SAPclericalofficer@thesap.org.uk
Annual Lecture London)
For further information: clericalofficer@thesap.org.uk
www.thesap.org.uk
1 Daleham
Gardens,
London
NW3NW3
5BY 5BY
The SAP,
1 Daleham
Gardens,
London
020 7435
7696
020 7435 7696
www.thesap.org.uk
The Psychotherapist
63
The programme has been running for 10 years - over 1400 university registrants
Established 1983
64
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Radisson Blu Edwardian Kenilworth Hotel, 97 Great Russell Street, London WC1B 3LB
In urban, rural and metropolitan areas, I have hard evidence of children being sexually
exploited. That is part of what is going on in some parts of our country. It is very sadistic.
It is very violent. It is very ugly. Sue Berelowitz Deputy Childrens Commissioner
Children and young people today
face particular challenges in the
internet age. The online generation
are growing up with access to
marvellous information, knowledge
and communication resources.
However, behind closed doors, there
is a shadowy side. The increasing
prevalence of wi-fi, smart phones
and availability of television and
games in the bedroom, has brought
with it unprecedented levels of
cyber-bullying, sexting, exposure
to violent computer games and
internet porn, often in a context that
is out of adult control.
Confirmed speakers
Dr. Jessica Ringrose Senior
Lecturer, Sociology of Gender and
Education - Institute of Education,
London
When does fun turn to risk?: Teens
digital sexual cultures and sexting
Sue Berelowitz Deputy
Childrens Commissioner
Just some of the features within the policy: 6,000,000 Professional Indemnity,
Medical Malpractice, Public &
Products Liability
Loss of Reputation, Breach of Intellectual
Property, Client Confidentiality
Protection, Loss of Documents, First Aid
Retro-active cover to pick up any
previously insured work performed
Run off cover is included for an unlimited
period if you ever stop the policy to ensure
that you are protected if a claim was made
after the policy is stopped for work done
in the policy period
100,000 Disciplinary Hearings Defence
cover/ Legal defence of your legal rights
BALENS
Full Member
33.00 per year
Trainee Member
9.00 per year
Indemnity limit 6m
For more information about reduced rate insurance for UKCP members, please visit...
www.ukcp.org.uk/insurance
Telephone: 01684 580 771 Email: ukcp@balens.co.uk
Balens and H&L Balen & Co. are Authorised and Regulated by the Financial Services Authority
Caring for
the carers