VOLUME THREE

I S S U E 40
10. 02.14
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We C a l l B a l o n e y | Ha t e Ma i l | As k a Me x i c a n | P a r a d e S h o t s
VOLUME THREE
I S S U E 40
10. 02.14
PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE PL US: 7 DAY NEW BRAUNF EL S L I VE MUSI C GUI DE
Rockin' R Gets
Scary After Dark
(Which is why we shot this cover during the day.)
Brave The Wurst Little
Haunted Haus in Texas, Page 6
Rockin' R Gets
Scary After Dark
(Which is why we shot this cover during the day.)
Brave The Wurst Little
Haunted Haus in Texas, Page 6
WEEK FOUR RESULTS: PAGE 14!
PRICKLY PEAR
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2 AD SALES 830.358.2493
table of contents
8
Citizen
Soundcheck
The ONLY gui de of i t s ki nd
for t he NB/SM Met ropl ex!
15
12
14
Line Crushers
Our NFL handi cappi ng
cont est i s back for 2014!
13
Ask a Mexican
Gust avo of fends i n t wo l anguages.
1st Word
Bob Gray mat t ers.
Whi ch i s why he needs
t o get hi s fact s st rai ght .
3
Cover Story
I t 's get t i ng spooky al l
up i n t he Rocki n' R.
6
Around & About
Parade day!
11
Ombudsman
Got a probl em? You wi l l .
Sound Out of Town
Because Aust i n, San Marcos and
San Ant oni o occasi onal l y have
l i ve musi c t oo.
10
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F e l oni e s
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9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
Wed 10.1
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Fri 10.3
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after Cowboys VS Texans
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B A R & G R I L L
2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 2 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 3
Gray Area
Bob Gray, President of the
New Braunfels Industrial
Development Corporation (the
4-B Board), made this statement
to KGNB radio a couple weeks
back: We cant, by law, go out
and work on streets and drainage.
Thats not allowed within State Law.
We didnt think that sounded quite
right, so we took a couple weeks to collect
ourselves some ducks, and then place said
ducks in a single, continuous row. We
dont imagine these to be all of the relevant
ducks, but certainly enough ducks to make
our point. (That point being that Bob Gray
is full of the baloney.)
So again, heres what he said: We
cant, by law, go out and work on streets and
drainage. Thats not allowed within State
Law. And heres what most reasonable
people heard when he said that: Its illegal
to use 4-B money for roads or drainage.
And heres what he actually meant: We
cant just go willy-nilly fxing roads or
drainage. Wed need to come up with an
excuse frst.
Assuming thats true, the problem then,
is getting 4-B to make that excuse. Tie a
road in with economic development, and
youve got yourself a deal. Thats not a big
gap to jump. After all, customers gots to
use roads to shop, and employees gots to
use roads to work, and truckers gots to use
roads to deliver - every bit as much as hos
has gots to eat to keep ho-in.* By gods, the
fact that our roads are substandard is only
encouraging the menace of internet retail
to swallow us whole - every man, woman
and child - and slowly but surely degrade
the tax base until were stuck with four tax
increases in just two years. See? All you
need is the will and 30 seconds worth of
creativity to justify throwing some 4-B bucks
into something the whole family can benefit
from on a daily basis.
Gray also made the usual
case that 4-B monies can be
used for quality of life
enhancements. Id argue that
war-zone condition roads are
a clear detriment to quality of
life, and for that reason alone
qualify for the cash. But I digress
the bottom line is that bringing infrastructure
up to par just for the heck of it doesnt earn
anybody any extra political stroke, at least
not the kind you get from paying off CEOs
to set up shop here for a few years. And
it certainly doesnt generate any additional
membership fees for the Chamber of
Commerce. Oh, goodness no. But neither
of those are the big reason.
The big reason is that the Chamber of
Commerce makes substantial 4-B money,
over $400,000 per year, putting these
corporate welfare economic development
deals together. Fixing roads for the sake of
fixing roads doesnt provide an opportunity
for the Chamber to get its cut. Keep in mind
that the Chambers founder and President,
Michael Meek, is employed as a consultant
by 4-B. While the Board changes over time,
Meek does not. He remains in the room,
the sole constant, explaining to the Board
what it can and cannot, and should and
should not do, year after year. This is a
clear conflict of interest. If the Chamber
is on the receiving end of large annual
payments from the Board, they shouldnt
have a seat at the table to go along with
them. You know, just like when The Scooter
Store was drawing 4-B cash while Scooter
Store executives were sitting on 4-B. Just
like that. Its almost as if this is business as
usual in Texas Most Corrupt City.
Anyway, lets have ourselves a look at
some projects 4-B worked on, despite Bob
Grays assertion that it would be a violation
of State law to do so:
Continued on page 5.
MIKE
REYNOLDS
WITH
WORD
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Continued from page 3.
The Highway 306 Expansion, 2012 -
The County wanted 4-B to put $1.5 million
toward the Krueger Dam which had come
in over budget. Since funding a dam would
actually be against the law for 4-B to fund
without a special election, the Board gave
the County $1.5 million to put toward
Highway 306, which freed up $1.5 million
of the Countys money from that project, and
allowed them to reallocate the cash to the
dam. Tsk tsk. Illegal, according to Bob Gray.
Goodwin Lane, 2006 - Nearly a million
dollars to improve Goodwin Lane for the
beneft of developer Koontz McCombs.
4-B member at-the-time Bill Morton told the
Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung that This is
a perfect example of what the 4B board is
supposed to do. Of course, Bob Gray would
disagree, and declare the project illegal.
H-E-B Drainage, 2005 - Over a half-million
dollars for drainage at the new H-E-B. What
did Bob Gray say about drainage projects?
Thats right: not allowed under state law.
So, per Bob Gray, this has all been very
illegal. We decided to check a bit more just
to be sure. Heres what the Texas Economic
Development Council (the people that literally
wrote the book on 4-B) has to say about 4-B
and roads, and how work can be undertaken
without the requirement to create or retain
jobs: certain targeted infrastructure projects
necessary to promote or develop new or
expanded business enterprises, limited to
streets and roads Thats odd. It says its
totally cool, right there. Maybe Bob mixed
up the words legal and illegal. I mean,
it happens. Or maybe the Texas Economic
Development Council is fat-out wrong. In any
case we maintain that keeping city streets
in good shape is necessary to promote
or develop new or expanded business
enterprises. But thats just us.
To be extra-sure, we checked with the
Comptrollers Offce of the Great State of
Texas. Surely they would back Gray up: To
promote and develop new and expanded
business enterprises that create or retain
primary jobs, a Type B EDC may fund streets,
roads, drainage and related improvements.
Oops. Looks like all thats required under this
T
X
C

M
O
B
I
L
E




H
A
S

L
A
U
N
C
H
E
D
!
TEXT TXC
to 313131
Me s s a g e & Da t a Ra t e s Ma y Ap p l y
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Cuero, Texas
www.turkeyfest.org
and much more
turkey racing
family events
parade
J
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a
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MEXICAN RESTAURANT
FREE TACOS
Monday-Friday 6 am - 10:30 am
151 Creekside Crossing New Braunfels
Town Center at Creekside Across from Buc-ees
www.mylaspalapas.com
Purchase any regular-price
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a FREE breakfast taco
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Please
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$1.59
Coffee Any Lg Drink
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830.629.8050
1050 I-35 Frontage Rd
Next to Kohls



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adult prenatal kids
4 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 5
Best Damn Lunch Special
in New Braunfels!
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Specials Include Drink and Side
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Continued from page 3.
The Highway 306 Expansion, 2012 -
The County wanted 4-B to put $1.5 million
toward the Krueger Dam which had come
in over budget. Since funding a dam would
actually be against the law for 4-B to fund
without a special election, the Board gave
the County $1.5 million to put toward
Highway 306, which freed up $1.5 million
of the Countys money from that project, and
allowed them to reallocate the cash to the
dam. Tsk tsk. Illegal, according to Bob Gray.
Goodwin Lane, 2006 - Nearly a million
dollars to improve Goodwin Lane for the
beneft of developer Koontz McCombs.
4-B member at-the-time Bill Morton told the
Houston-owned Herald-Zeitung that This is
a perfect example of what the 4B board is
supposed to do. Of course, Bob Gray would
disagree, and declare the project illegal.
H-E-B Drainage, 2005 - Over a half-million
dollars for drainage at the new H-E-B. What
did Bob Gray say about drainage projects?
Thats right: not allowed under state law.
So, per Bob Gray, this has all been very
illegal. We decided to check a bit more just
to be sure. Heres what the Texas Economic
Development Council (the people that literally
wrote the book on 4-B) has to say about 4-B
and roads, and how work can be undertaken
without the requirement to create or retain
jobs: certain targeted infrastructure projects
necessary to promote or develop new or
expanded business enterprises, limited to
streets and roads Thats odd. It says its
totally cool, right there. Maybe Bob mixed
up the words legal and illegal. I mean,
it happens. Or maybe the Texas Economic
Development Council is fat-out wrong. In any
case we maintain that keeping city streets
in good shape is necessary to promote
or develop new or expanded business
enterprises. But thats just us.
To be extra-sure, we checked with the
Comptrollers Offce of the Great State of
Texas. Surely they would back Gray up: To
promote and develop new and expanded
business enterprises that create or retain
primary jobs, a Type B EDC may fund streets,
roads, drainage and related improvements.
Oops. Looks like all thats required under this
is the aforementioned excuse to do the job.
Figure out how to tie it to jobs. Whatever
they used for the 306 project ought to suffce.
Every time Chamber of Commerce
President and 4-B uber-consultant Michael
Meek discusses 4-B publicly, he reminds
his audience that the voters approved the
4-B tax. Heres what he leaves out: The
language from the ballot when the tax was
voted in back in 1995, which included the
verbiage street and drainage projects,
which, according to Bob Gray, are strictly
verboten. Then in 2000, voters approved
a revision, which included this among its
features: and public safety facilities,
streets and roads, drainage and related
improvements. Again, forbidden, per Bob
Gray. In 2003, 4-B went back in front of the
voters for the three-peat, and once again
included this: and public safety facilities,
streets and roads, drainage and related
improvements. Still illegal, according to
Bob Gray. In any case, thats what Meek
fails to mention or acknowledge.
He also declines to mention or
acknowledge that the voters can repeal the
4-B tax altogether. Gods forbid the electorate
gets the idea that maybe they voted in one
thing but got another. Sold a bill of goods,
as it were. That would be a disaster for
well, anybody drawing a salary from both
the Chamber and 4-B.
I have to wonder why Bob Gray would
insist that working on roads and drainage
would be illegal. I mean, I dont think hes
lying, and if hes not, it must mean that
somebody else, somebody whos been around
4-B for a good, long while, has been giving
him faulty information. Maybe somebody
that has a clear, vested interest in Bob going
around telling people its illegal to fx roads.
Id have to go back a few paragraphs in this
article to fgure out who that might be. Meh,
thats too much work. You do it. Im sure its
nothing to be concerned about.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief
*#hollywoodshuffle
Postscript: Last week was Rosh
Hashanah. Wed like to wish both of our
Jewish readers a happy Year of the Horse.
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6 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 7
Since I moved to New Braunfels a couple of
years ago, I have been truly scared twice.
The frst time was when I heard the river
warning system. The sirens alone were bad
enough, but those were soon followed by a
creepy voice talking to me from the sky. I didnt
know whether to look upward in case the Ruskies
dropped the big one, or to watch the horizon for
the inevitable giant insects. The booming voice
from the sky tried to console me that it was only
a test, but I was already in a bad state.
The second time I faced The Fear was
when I found a tarantula on the porch. A
massive spider on the porch didnt bother me,
it was kind of cool. What was unsettling was
when the spider had disappeared from the
porch. As I began wondering where it had
gone, I felt something crawling up my hand.
While I technically know that tarantulas arent
aggressive, that matters little when its crawling
up your arm. At that point, the primal mind
takes over. This is when you start screeching,
failing your arms and running indoors to sit in
the middle of a well-lit room, rocking back and
forth, muttering to yourself.
Now, I am actively searching for my third
fright, and I know I will fnd it at the Wurst Little
Haunted Haus in Texas.
The Haus, situated on the grounds of Rockin
R River Rides in Gruene, is the brainchild of the
Galpins, a couple who have a lot of experience
scaring neighborhood children.
My husband and I have been doing a
haunted house at our home for years, which is
a miniature version of this one, Donica said.
Our haunted house started growing. More and
more people were coming, and we were just
running out of room. Visitors kept telling us we
should bring our haunted house to the public.
The Haunted House is actually the debut for
the Galpins event coordination business, D and
T Events. Their goal is to use such events to help a
variety of nonproft organizations. They wanted
their haunted house to be the frst of many.
Bringing the Haunted House together has
been a labor of love and, well, labor. The
Galpins have been planning this for a year
and a great deal of work has gone into the
Haus in order to safely maximize The Fear.
We are all a bit OCD, Galpin said.
We want everything to be safe and secure.
We try to think of every possible worst-case
scenario so that we can be prepared for
anything. This has taken a lot of time and a lot
of people working together.
The attention to detail put into the Haus
is mind boggling. There are things inside set
to give you the heebie-jeebies, rooms built
to keep you confused, and areas planned to
make you screech and bang the ground with
a stick. Everything there is planned for the sole
purpose of making visitors face The Fear with
nightmarish effciency.
Most of us are just crazy people who love
to dress in costumes and scare people, Donica
said. Halloween allows you to use your
creativity and do those things that, on any other
day, would have people just think you were
strange. But its acceptable this time of year.
This is true. Touring a Halloween haunted
house in progress is the only time you can
hear a woman say these eyeballs need
more blood, without the accompaniment of
strange smells and police.
Along with the Haunted Haus, there is the
Children of the Corn Maze and hayrides.
Bringing the event together required a
great amount of effort (the Corn Maze was
planted by hand twice because the frst crop
died). Donica has said they could never have
done the job without the enormous amount of
help they have received from friends, family
and volunteers, such as National Guard
reservists and the Boy Scouts.
The Haunted Haus, Corn Maze and hayrides
run every weekend in October and are precursors
to the big musical event set for Halloween
weekend, October 31 and November 1.
The music festival, also planned by the
Galpins, will cover three venues: Rockin R,
Billys Ice House and River Road Ice House.
There will be music at Rockin R until 9 p.m.
Afterwards, Rockin R will provide shuttle rides
to and from the two other venues.
The most important aspect of the event,
however, is that much of the proceeds will go to
Warriors Cry Project, which offers instruments
and musical lessons to wounded veterans. The
all-volunteer program was created by Robert
Henne, of San Antonio, and is in VA hospitals
around the country.
There are a number of issues that music
helps, such as depression, Henne said. The
veterans have a lot of time on their hands,
theyre on a lot of medications and have
a lot of things to occupy their minds. Music
kind of takes you away to somewhere else.
Even for physical therapy, it really makes a
difference because you can start rehabbing on
something other than gym equipment, which
is really boring and diffcult to see progress.
Henne said he came up with idea after
a car accident left him with head and back
injuries. Since his wife, Melinda, is in the
service, he was treated at a military hospital.
I was already a musician and I had to
learn how to do things over again, he said. I
had to relearn how to use my hands. Musical
therapy was great for my recovery.
The idea came to him while he was in
pain rehab with several veterans.
I noticed that I was the only one in there
with two arms and two legs, he said. Right
then, it hit me: I had to do something more
than just pay my taxes.
The Haunted Haus, Corn Maze and
hayrides will be available every weekend in
October. On Fridays and Saturdays, they will
be open from 5 to 11pm, and from 5 to 10pm
on Sundays. Visitors can buy wristbands for
$20, which will allow access to all three
areas. Individually, a ticket for the Haunted
Haus is $15, while the Corn Maze is $7.
Hayrides are $5.
For the music festival on October 31 &
November 1, a one day pass is $30 for adults
and $15 for children. For the whole weekend,
the package runs $50 and $25, respectfully.
The passes include all events, including the
Haunted Haus and the rest.
In connection with HAVA, coupons are
available for those who donate instruments,
which will cut the price of two tickets for the
music fest by half.
We are looking for basses, guitars,
drums, keyboards and amps, Donica said.
Take a chance, nut it up, face The Fear
and help out a good cause.
COVER STORY
Donica and Thomas Galpin want to frighten you.
And you should let them.
Construction Crew, L to R: Layne Page, Nicole Graham,
Susan May, Donica Galpin, Doak May
Construction Crew, L to R: Layne Page, Nicole Graham,
Susan May, Donica Galpin, Doak May
TXCITIZEN.COM 7
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Jam Night
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Steven Vees Mississhippie
5pm
Rileys Tavern
TBA
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
Jonathan Garcia
8pm
Gruene Hall
Garrett LeBeau
6pm
The Pour Haus
Cody Coggins
8pm
River Road Ice House
Tom Gillam
7pm
Fri 10.3
Adobe Verde
Kenn Gullett
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
Genevieve Rainey
9pm
The Happy Cow
Armadillo Road
8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
The Chubby Knuckle Choir
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Junior Nash
5pm
Brother Nothing
9pm
Rileys Tavern
Last Honky Tonk Music Series
4pm
Shelley King
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Alpine Haus Restaurant
Off the Grid Polka Band
6pm
Billys Ice House
Dean Seltzer
8pm
Gruene Hall
Van Wilks
8pm
The Pour Haus
TBA
8:30pm
River Road Ice House
JB & the Moonshine Band
7pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Bo Brumble
7pm
Sat 10.4
Adobe Verde
JJ Garrett Band
6:30pm
Black Whale Pub
Miles Smith & Matt Morgan
9pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Pardo & Reed
1pm
Luke Adair & the Big Bills
6pm
Phoenix Saloon
Brian Pounds Band
w/ Kirk Baxley Band
9pm
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8 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Rileys Tavern
Rods at Rileys Car Show
2pm
The Beaumonts
w/ Blackwater Revival
9pm
AJs Ale House
Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm
Billys Ice House
Beau Daniels Band
9pm
Gruene Hall
Greg Harris & the Bandini Brothers
1pm
Cody Canada & the Departed
w/ Tyler & the Tribe
8pm, $20
NB Farm to Market
Ken Raba
9:30am
The Pour Haus
Whiskey Rodeo
9:30pm
River Road Ice House
Will Hoge
8pm
Sun 10.5
Adobe Verde
Fallon Franklin
6pm
The Happy Cow
T-Bone & the Bluetones
4pm
Oma Gruenes Secret Garten
Slim Bawb & the Fabulous Stumpgrinders
2pm
Phoenix Saloon
James Pardo
3pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Geronimo VFW #8456
TBA
3pm
Gruene Hall
Runner of the Woods
12:30pm
Seth Walker
5pm
The Pour Haus
D Rock & J Scott
8pm
River Road Ice House
FallJam
Midnight River Choir, Stewart Mann,
Aaron Stephens, Haley Cole, Jordan York,
Backwater Blvd, Matt Begley, Whiskey
Rodeo,
Knotty Grove, Bill Stewart, Pardo & Reed,
Caleb Boles
12pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Sarah McSweeney
3pm
Mon 10.6
Rileys Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Gruene Hall
Grouchy Like Riley
6pm
The Pour Haus
Larry Martin Sweeney
8pm
Tues 10.7
Watering Hole Saloon
KennCentric Power Trio
8:30pm
Gruene Hall
Jeannie Burns, Andrew Hardin, Kelley
Mickwee
6pm
The Pour Haus
Open Mic w/ Jon Magill
8pm
Wed 10.8
Phoenix Saloon
Shand Walton & Manzy Lowry
8pm
Rileys Tavern
TBA
9pm
Billys Ice House
Aaron Stephens
8pm
Gruene Hall
Jenny Lewis
w/ Nikki Lane
8pm, SOLD OUT
The Pour Haus
Jeremy Steding
8pm
Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther
6pm
SOUNDCHECK BROUGHT T O YOU BY:
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10 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Fri 10.3
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Bryan Boyce Band
w/ Ryan Ross Band
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Hard Proof Afrobeat
w/ Wifee & Huzz Band
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Josh Perdue Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Randy Rogers Band
w/ Whiskey Myers, Aaron Einhouse
8pm, 18+ $25-$28
Luckenbach Dance Hall
T & C Miller
5pm
Wagon Aces
8pm
Red Eyed Fly
The Sensational Fibs
9pm, Inside
The Minutes & the Miles, Blue Mandala,
Moonwheels, Life So Far, The Dead Right
8pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Del Castillo Farewell Show
8pm, $15-$60
Stubbs BBQ
Jenny Lewis
w/ Belle Brigade
8pm, Outside, $24-$122
Spanish Gold
w/ The Rosebuds
11:30pm, Inside, $18
Sat 10.4
Cheatham Street Warehouse
Texas Renegade
w/ Drew Fish Band
9pm
The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Rosie Flores
w/ Wifee & Huzz Band
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Hillary York, 8:30pm
Josh Perdue Band, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country Store
Randy Rogers Band
w/ Kyle Park, John Baumann
8pm, 18+ $25-$28
Luckenbach Dance Hall
Stephanie Urbina Jones
1pm
Damn Quails & Paul Cauthen
9pm, $10
Red Eyed Fly
Blasted Engines
10pm, Inside
Broken Teeth, Swithblade Lovers, Burn Ban
10pm, Outside
R & J Music Pavillion
Felix Truvere & the Open Road
9pm
Sams Burger Joint
Ruben V
9pm, $10-$45
Stubbs BBQ
Tegan & Sara
w/ Night Terrors of 1927
8pm, Outside, $40-$136
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11:30pm, Inside, $12
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Freiheit Country Store
Karaoke
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DJ
Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Old Ice House
Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays
DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
Karaoke
Thursday Nights
Prickly Pear Lounge
Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays
DJ KC
Fridays
The Watering Hole Saloon
Karaoke
Thursdays
DJ
Fridays, Saturdays
diversions
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I have read three of your issues. Te
very frst, the second and the very latest.
Youre still on the same tired topic (can
ban). We know your position, move
on. Your paper is 50% ads, 20% cry-
baby crap, 20% stupid crap, and 10%
interesting or useful information. Buy
a police scanner, report some crime.
Find out who has the cheapest gas in
town. Let me know if its going to rain
tomorrow. Tell me something, man.
Your paper sucks. Hurry up and die.
Anonymous Reader

Dear Anonymous Reader:
You certainly taught us a lesson. Because
you are so angry, the TX Citizen thought that
you must be right. We had to look really hard at
ourselves in the mirror. A lot of soul searching
went on. We considered the possibility
that maybe, just maybe, we should change
direction and do things entirely different.
Then we remembered the ancient Chinese
saying: Dude, you dont know what youre
talking about.
We should remember that just because
someone is angry and insulting, it doesnt
mean theyre right (they should be clever, too).
If I go outside, scream and bang a fence post
with a shovel, insisting that its snowing under
clear August skies, it means Im crazy, not
correct. No matter how angry I am.
However, I need to be fair. I shouldnt just
blatantly say that youre a rudderless mass of
anger. That wouldnt right and would only be
an extension of my own misguided anger.
But, you know who else was angry?
The South.
The South was angry because the North
said it couldnt own people anymore. The
South stamped its feet and yelled that it had
the right to own people. Unable to control its
anger, the South took a swing at the North.
Then it got beat up.
Instead of learning its lesson, though,
the South developed a complex about itself.
Rather than face those issues, the South
started drinking, and ranting about the
gubbermint and the Negroes, and in general
making a real ass of itself.
Before long, the Souths wife left it and
neighborhood children avoided The Old South
House because it would sit out on the porch
with a shotgun, looking to make somebody to
pay for its own misery. People would only talk
about the South in whispered tones.
Thus, in order to appease your
anger, we should apologize to you, dear
Anonymous Reader.
We apologize for our audacity of
having ads in our newspaper. While its
true that all of those ads are what allows us
to print, it was wrong of us to not consider
how this might affect you. (Were looking for
65%, by the way.)
We also want to profusely apologize
to you for making you tired with
important news. We promise to never let it
happen again.
In order to further this feeling of goodwill,
I will try right now to make amends for our
shoddy news coverage. But, since were
a weekly, I can only provide you with last
weeks information:
A naked man, wearing only Mr. Yuck
stickers and a variety of Green Giant
vegetable labels, was arrested by police at
the Comal County Fair carnival. Police say the
suspect was very angry and yelled at people
to hurry up and die.
The can ban lawsuit was still working its
way through the courts. Were agin it.
The weather last week was rainy with
periods of not rainy. Many residents, however,
were disconcerted when, after several hours
of light, the sun disappeared from the sky,
leaving the world in darkness. Scientists still
have no explanation.
The lowest gas price in New Braunfels was
$1.50 per gallon. I cant remember where,
though. I think it was somewhere near 1985.
I do worry about you, Anonymous Reader.
I noticed that you didnt sign your name.
Why? Were you so angry you forgot what it
was? Take a deep breath, center yourself and
repeat, Its OK to be angry, but its not OK to
stay angry. Not at the TX Citizen, anyway.
Here, have a doughnut.
Liebe,
Karl
Got a concern? Opa Karl Esel is here to help, or
at the very least, comisserate. Send your rants to
opakarl@txcitizen.com.
with OPA Karl Esel
Executive Offce
Space Available!
Starting at $350/mo.
includes utilities,
use of reception area
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Call or stop by!
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12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
MOST WANTED
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COMAL COUNTY S
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
Male 507 200 lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1 under
1 gram and theft of
property under $1500
with 2 or more
previous convictions
GANN,
AMBER P
Female 506 185 lbs
DOB: 04/16/1985
CHARGE: Intoxication
assault, aggravated
assault with a deadly
weapon and motion
to revoke probation
bail jumping/ fail to
appear felony
GARCIA, ALACELI
MELENDEZ
Female 505 285 lbs
DOB: 12/07/1970
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated with
child under 15 years
of age
HOWARD,
JAMES EDWIN
Male 607 200 lbs
DOB: 02/22/1950
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probation -
possession of a
controlled substance
CAVAZOS,
FRANCISCO JR
Male 600 215 lbs
DOB: 08/26/1975
CHARGE: Two
charges of motion to
revoke probation -
driving while
intoxicated 3rd or more
JORDAN,
GABRIEL TERRELL
Male 506 150 lbs
DOB: 01/30/1993
CHARGE: Failure
to appear for
aggravated assault
with deadly weapon
and bail jumping/
failure to appear
MEJIA,
MARCO FABIAN
Male 506 210 lbs
DOB: 03/07/1984
CHARGE: Forgery
government/ national
government
instrument money/
security
MORENO,
RAFIEL
Male 505 198 lbs
DOB: 8/24/1969
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated
3rd or more
WAHLQUIST,
DANA FEDELE
Male 511 186 lbs
DOB: 05/21/1975
CHARGE: Unlawful
possession of metal or
body armor by felon
and unlawful
possession of a
firearm by felon
MERVIN,
ERIC LEE JR
Male 503 180 lbs
DOB: 09/01/1982
CHARGE: Possession
of a controlled
substance pg 1
under 1 gram
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, September 29, 2014 at 9:52 am and may not be current by the time
it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL
COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
CREEL,
COLIN DAVID
Male 600 195 lbs
DOB: 03/31/1978
CHARGE: Driving
while intoxicated 3rd
or more
Brazenly Sponsored by
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Why dont Mexicans
get green cards and come into the
United States legally? After talking to
people who have, the process is not
hard and only takes a maximum of
three years to do. By coming in illegally,
they are taking the jobs from legal
Mexican citizens and taking advantage
of the U.S. social welfare systems. Tis
causes increased taxes, not to mention
the increased costs of all types of
insurance. Tese costs are forced onto
all legal citizens, including Mexicans.
Do the Mexicans that cross the border
illegally have any respect for people or
their own culture?
Shane the Shooter
Dear Gabacho: Who says Mexicans
dont come here legally? The Pew Hispanic
Center shows that nearly half of the 11.4
million Mexican immigrants in el Norte
are legal, with about un terced of that half
permanent residents and the remainder
16 percentthats a lot of Mexicans with
green cards! But factor in all the other
immigrants wanting to get their micas,
and the pie-en-el-cielo scenario you paint
of folks going through the process within
three years is as laughable as Mitt Romney
reconsidering a presidential run.
I know people whose green-card
applications have been held up for over a
decade because of the backlog of cases.
And like Ive said many times in this columna
and elsewhere, no ones going to wait for
a superfuous piece of paper when youre
starving and salvation is just a couple of
thousand miles, a bus ride, and some evil
human smugglers away. As for the rest of your
babble? Babadas.
Dear Mexican: Whats up with the
scorpion symbol? Ive seen it on the
rear window of many a lowrider truck
and Im bafed by what it means. One of
my pocho friends says it has something
to do with drug smuggling. Is that true?
Gabacho de Albuquerque
Dear Gabacho: I seriously doubt the
truck where you saw a scorpion on was of the
lowrider genrethose are driven by Chicanos
who usually leave their windows clean so that
everyone can see the car club trophy on the
back of their seat. What you saw was a truck
or a giant SUV driven by a paisaa Mexican
term for a hillbilly. And more likely than not,
that paisa is from the state of Durango, where
the alacrn is a symbol of pride given its
desert, mountainous landscape.
That said, narcos have appropriated the
scorpion for the obvious, menacing reason,
just like theyve done the same to Tweety Bird
and Santa Muertebut to say everyone who
puts those stickers on the back of their trucks
is a drug dealer is like saying everyone who
wears pointy boots is a pendejo. Oh, wait
BUY THIS BOOK!: Just out from the
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desmadre. Buy, buy, compra!
Ask the Mexican at
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In The Ramada 830-625-8017
COWBOYS VS THE TEXANS
CHILI COOK OFF!
As many as 2 or 3 Chefs
may join the competition!
GAME STARTS AT NOON!
Come see us at
5000 Old Hwy 81
in New Braunfels
830-632-5627
GreenTree
Apartments
AFFORDABLE
RENT!
1 Bedroom only $499!
2 Bedroom $600-$680!
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Bring in this ad & receive
a FREE application fee!
AROUND& ABOUT
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Buy 1, Get 1
50% Off!
BRING IN THIS COUPON!
1102 N WALNUT AVE THEGOURMETICECO.COM
All-Natural Shaved Ice!
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Landa St
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830. 214. 0728 243 N. Union Ave
830-629-2662 Like us on
New and Vintage Vinyl
and Turntables
Classic Rock Alternative Punk
Reggae - Funk Soul Country
BUY S E L L T R ADE
197 S. Seguin Ave 830.629.0540 197 S. Seguin Ave 830.629.0540
Expert Custom
Engraving
Expert Custom
Engraving
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Half-Off One Entree
with purchase of another entree and two drinks.
One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 10/31/14
Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday
Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
830.629.0777 1724 Hunter Road, New Braunfels
TEX-MEX COCINA Y CANTINA
BEST
OF THE
WURST
2014
winner!
Best Signature
Cocktail Dos Rita
DLeeEdwardsRealty.com 1111 N. Walnut Ave. New Braunfels, TX 78130
Call our AWARD WINNING TEAM! 830.620.7653