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How To Let Go of The Past

What's Done is Done


Dont waste your life away in grim contemplation and exhaustion of a million
different outcomes of what could have happened
A myriad of matters put weight on your mind. It heaves under the sheer
pressure of it.
Thoughts, actions, endless precipitant emotions all occupy this undefined
space and define your outlook on life.
It could be anything and everything: doubts, missed prayers, a glance, a
stolen conversation, an act of pride, that shopping spree in which you
redefined the word shopaholic the list is near infinite.
We travel through each day lugging all this emotional and mental baggage,
and our life is spent in a perpetual state of What if I had done it
differently?
Its not meant to be like this.
Move On
Whats done is done. It is time to move on.
Now dont get me wrong. I am not propagating a carefree existence in which
we shovel obliviousness into every recess of our mistakes, effectively
burying them under a bed of thorn-less roses and skipping off into an ideal
sunset.
What I mean is what the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, taught us:
Seek help from Allah, the Most High, and do not lose heart, and if anything
(in the form of trouble) comes to you, dont say: If I had not done that, it
would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had
ordained to do and you saying if opens the (gate) for the Satan. (Muslim)
By moving on, what I mean is that dont waste your life away in grim
contemplation and exhaustion of a million different outcomes of what could
have happened.
I understand you. I really do. I am only
writing this because I can relate to it. And I
am in no way free from the shackles of what
if any more than you are.
keep in mind that nothing comes
to pass except by the Decree of
God, the Most Kind

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This what if, two measly little words, can sow the seeds of doubt; give root
to misery and blossom into something that Satan would be proud of
displaying in his prize plot of Muslim-downers. First its the what if?, then
its the feelings of doubtful evaluation, then the grief, then you feel like
slapping yourself and it goes on and on. You find yourself stuck in quicksand
and you dont know how to get out.
It is time for us to sever the root to this problem.
So, what should we do?
Accept and Appreciate
Firstly, keep in mind that nothing comes to pass except by the Decree of
God, the Most Kind. If it happened, then it happened. Nothing could have
averted it, nothing could have changed it, and that anything other never
had a chance to begin with. It came to pass and happen it did. Accept it.
Secondly, know that Allah loves you. More than what the mind can
comprehend and what the heart can ponder upon. I mean: this is my Lord
and your Lord who has promised us that He will reward us for even the prick
of a thorn! Do you think that Allah will not reward you if you persevere in
patience?
It happened because He, out of His infinite
wisdom, wanted it to happen. He, the Best of
Planners, wanted us to learn something from
it even if we didnt gain something material
at the end of it.
Experience is the best teacher and emotional upheaval is the best landmark
to warn us of an impending danger. There is no harm in remembering what
you did as long as you now see it as a light to guide you away from the
previous mistakes, and not a grim mist to cloud your thoughts and sink you
into depression.
If your cause of regret is about a sin that you committed then repent and be
happy on account of your regret because regret is a form of repentance itself
and remember what `Abdullah ibn Masud, may Allah be pleased with him,
said:
The believer sees his sins as if he is sitting at the foot of a mountain fearing
that it might fall on him, while the sinner sees his sins as a fly that lands on
his nose he just waves it away. (Bukhari)
So learn a lesson from what you did because Allah, the Most Kind, is
teaching you something.
There is no harm in remembering
what you did as long as you now
see it as a light to guide you away
from the previous mistakes

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Thirdly, make sure that you do not repeat what caused your grief. This may
seem obvious but Satan has known mankind for millions of years and he
knows a billion different ways to make you follow the same plot again. So
seek help in God, be patient and God will turn your grief into happiness.
Turn to Him
Whenever you feel down, always remember that Allah says:
{And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him He will
make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will
provide for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And
whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. For Allah
will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah
appointed a due proportion.} (At-Talaq 65: 2-3)
{Allah does not wish to impose hardship upon you. Rather, He
wishes to purify you; and to complete His blessings upon you; and in
order that you may be thankful.} (Al-Maidah 5:6)
- Thank Allah for giving you the ability to realize you did something wrong.
- Thank Him for still preserving your faith.
- Ask Him to help you and guide you.
- Step on your grief and use it as a launch-pad to propel you to a threshold
of servitude towards Allah.
And keep strong by reminding yourself of what our beloved Prophet, peace
be upon him, taught us from what Allah had taught him:
No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress
befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that
Allah expiates some of his sins for that. (Bukhari)
Source: Suhaib Webb.com - http://www.suhaibwebb.com