Abu Kasem's Slippers

There was once a wealthy merchant named Abu Kasem. He was very well known in
Baghdad for his miserliness and ability to drive a hard bargain. Equally famous were his slippers,
which were old, worn, patched, and stained. The lowliest of servants would have been ashamed
to wear them but Abu wore them everywhere, even in the bazaar. They were inseparable from his
public character.
One day Abu Kasem made two especially good deals in a row. First, he acquired a collection of
beautiful crystal bottles. Then he bought a batch of fine, sweet rose oil from a perfumer who had
fallen on hard times. Everybody knew about his purchases. Abu Kasem was very excited at the
prospect of large profits. Although he rarely spent any extra money on anything, he decided to
treat himself and went to the public baths for a soak and a steam.
When he arrived at the baths, Abu meant a fellow merchant in the dressing room. The man
lectured him on the state of his slippers and advised him to buy a new pair, lest he become a total
laughingstock. Abu contemplated the awful slippers. I have been thinking about this myself, he
said, but I do think they have a few more miles in them. He went in to enjoy his bath.
While the miser was relishing his rare treat, the Cadi of Baghdad also came in to take a bath. Abu
finished first, and when he returned to the dressing room he couldnt find his slippers. They had
disappeared, and in their place was a lovely new pair. The new slippers were shiny and beautiful.
Well, Abu thought to himself, My friend must have decided to honor me with a gift. Maybe
he thinks its good business to win the favor of a rich man like me. Abu put on the new slippers
and went home.
When the Cadi emerged later there was quite a scene. His servants looked high and low and
could not find his slippers. In their place was a tattered disgusting pair that everyone knew
belonged to Abu Kasem. The judge was furious and immediately sent for the culprit and had him
locked up. Of course they found the missing slippers on Abus feet. He spent a night in jail and
paid a very heavy fineand he got his beloved slippers back.
Abu went home, sad and sorry. In a fit of temper he threw his treasured slippers out of the
window and they fell into the river Tigris. A few days later, a group of fishermen thought they
had caught a particularly heavy fish but found, to their dismay, that it was Abu Kasems slippers
in the net. The slippers ripped holes in their nets and they were very angry. They hurled the
sodden slippers though an open window.
The slippers landed smack in the middle of Abus dining room table, where he had set up his
lovely crystal bottles and was busy filling them with the sweet rose oil. Now the bottles, the oils,
and his dream of big profits lay in a dripping, glittering mess of broken shards on the floor.
Those wretched slippers! cried Abu. He grabbed them, took a shovel, and went out into his
backyard. He dug a deep hole and buried the offending pair. But his neighbor was watching (who
isnt interested in the doings of the rich?) and imagined something quite different. The neighbor
thought that the rich miser must have a treasure buried there. A treasure that he did not want to
report or pay taxes on. So the neighbor reported Abu to the judge.
No one could believe that a person would dig a big hole in their backyard just to bury a ratty old
pair of slippers. Abu was thunderstruck when he heard the amount of his fine.
Now Abu was desperate to get rid of his old slippers. He decided the best plan was to take them
far out of town where they could do him no more harm. So he drove far out into the country and
dropped the slippers into a deep pond. He watched as they sunk down below the surface and went
home with a sense of sweet relief. But wouldnt you know it, the pond fed into the towns water
supply and the slippers found their way into the pipes and stopped them up. When the workers
came to fix the mess they immediately recognized the slippers. Abu went to jail again for
befouling the towns water supply, and paid another large, large fine. And he got his slippers
back.
These once-dear slippers had done enough damage, by god. This time Abu resolved to burn them.
Because they were wet, he laid them out on his balcony to dry. A dog on the neighboring balcony
saw the slippers and jumped over to play with them. The dog tossed the slippers around and
oopsone went sailing into the street below, where it hit a pregnant woman on the head and
knocked her down. She had a miscarriage. The husband ran to the judge and demanded damages
from the rich old miser, who was no longer so rich. Abu was forced to pay.
Abu was broke and broken. He stood before the judge and raised the slippers aloft in a gesture so
solemn and earnest that the judge almost laughed at the absurdity of it. Please your honor,
begged Abu, do not hold me further responsible for the evils caused by these slippers.
The Cadi felt he could not refuse and granted the plea. Abu Kasem bought a new pair of slippers.