Kendra, fifteen, hasn't felt safe since she began to recall devastating memories of childhood

sexual abuse, especially because she still can't remember the most important detail-her
abuser's identity. Frightened, Kendra believes someone is always watching and following her,
leaving menacing messages only she understands. If she lets her guard down even for a
minute, it could cost Kendra her life.
To relieve the pressure, Kendra cuts aside from her brilliantly expressive artwor!, it's her only
way of coping. "ince her own mother is too self-absorbed to hear her cries for help, Kendra
finds support in others instead# from her therapist and her art teacher, from "andy, the close
family friend who encourages her artwor!, and from $eghan, the classmate who's becoming a
friend and maybe more. %ut the truth about Kendra's abuse is &ust waiting to explode, with
startling unforeseen conse'uences. "cars is the unforgettable story of one girl's frightening path
to the truth.
OPINION: 5 STARS
This is a powerful, potent book that will leave you feeling twisted and fayed because this book
not only dives into the horrifc world of child sexual abuse, it throws in cutting. Each facet
stands out, shining as brightly as its counterpart without either overtaking the other. There are
books I could compare this to because they have similar subect matter! books that deal with
sexual abuse and ones for cutting but rarely any that combine the two. That, alone, makes this
book thrust itself forward. Even more notably is the somewhat autobiographical nature of it
and knowing that, this book surged into me even more deeply because although it is fction,
there is obvious proof at least parts of this are based on a dark reality. "ooks like this can often
blur the fction#nonfction line and this one toes it expertly, pulling the reader in and making
them feel every bit of pain $endra did! pain the author felt at one point.
For Kendra, cutting is her way of forgetting and dealing with the memories of being
sexually abused as a child- her way of not remembering the face of the person who
did it because that could be worse than remembering in the frst place. Kendra can't
say when the abuse started or when it stopped, she can't say what person did it to
her- someone her family had to know given she was a young child, but she can say
that it happened, she remembers parts, and it was horrifc. he isn't cutting to kill
herself- she's cutting because she has no other way of letting out the intense pain
she feels. !ainfeld does an exceptional "ob making this distinction and luring the
reader into an understanding that while cutting is a tabooed outlet, it's an outlet for
a reason. #hile it isn't necessarily okay, it's needed- and this book stresses that.
$lso making this book stand out is how much it touches on homophobia. #ith not
only a main character that seems to be drawn more to girls than boys- one girl in
particular named %eghan- but also a strong adult male character who's gay and has
a partner, this book pushes the boundaries and stresses acceptance. $cceptance of
those lesbians and gays, acceptance of cutters, and acceptance of those who have
su&ered something so traumatic they don't know how to deal and need things to
happen their way for awhile. 'xplanation and "ustifcation without promotion.
The plot, while initially simplistic based on the summary, is flled with twists, turns and
shocking moments. %es, the person who abused $endra is identifed and there&s a point where
it becomes obvious who it is! but that is about the same time $endra starts to remember.
"efore that, she naturally 'uestions any man who&s been in her life long enough, taking the
reader right along for the ride. (hile $endra is cutting and trying to hide it, and fghting to
remember, she has to deal with her parents who are as stunned as she is about the abuse.
Typical teenage battles become wars almost because of the dark cloud hanging over this
family, all at the hands of an unknown assailant that tormented their little girl.
)ainfeld does a magnifcent ob building all her characters, from $endra to her parents to
*eghan and $endra&s much needed and very trusted therapist +arolyn. Each of these
characters becomes a full person, realistic in the mind of the reader and made stronger by the
very raw way in which )ainfeld pitches $endra, her thoughts, and her story.
I read this one straight through in one evening, gripped and pulled in from the very frst page.
)ainfeld has done something wonderful with this novel despite the very dark, harsh topic. I
highly, highly recommend it even if parts are rough to read. It will stick with you, it will make
you rethink some things, and it will keep the notion that sexual abuse can happen to anyone,
at any time in your mind.
Kendra depends on her therapist more than she does her parents. Thats because she has no one else who understands
the depth of what happened to her all those years ago. But even with Carolyn, sometimes she gets too closeclose
enough that the memories almost go all the way. This would be a good thingto uncover the identity of the man who
raped her as a childif the memories ended when the sessions did. But when she leaves the comfort of Carolyns
office, she alone is left to deal with the brutal aftershoc of remembering. !urther, she alone is left to deal with the
death threats from the rapist. "ith each note in her bacpac or each pacage at her door, she worries that remembering
may not mae things better. I will kill you if you tell. #is handwriting chills her to her core, and only the utility blade
can warm her up again.
Cutting becomes her addiction. $he feels so brave at her sessions, when Carolyn helps her retreat to her dar past% but
the memories she con&ureshis voice, his hands, his breath, his body against her, the ache between her legsdont go
away until she opens her flesh and lets them out. "hen she meets 'eghan, the rebel girl who stood up for her in the
hallway, she has no idea that the trust they build will lead her to revealing her armand her past. But with 'eghans
support and friendship(turned(romance, in addition to Carolyns sessions, Kendra becomes stronger. But so does the
need for release. #er parents wont leave her alone about being lesbian. #er teachers wont leave her alone for being
withdrawn. )nd most terrifyingly of all, her rapist wont leave her along with his incessant reminders not to tell.
)nd then, her dad loses his &ob. )t first her parents cant afford therapy anymore. But then they cant even afford to
eep their house in the city. Kendra tries to tell them that shes this much closer to remembering, and that
theyre this much closer to bringing their daughters rapist to &ustice. $he tells them that therapy is woring and that
moving would ruin everything. $he cant lose 'eghan. $he cant lose Carolyn. $he cant leave the only home shes
ever nown. That stress, in addition to the fear she feels when the surprise pacage comes, is too much. Kendra cuts too
deep. )nd this time the blood isnt enough to wash away her memories. #is face is clear. #es closer than she thought.
)nd unfortunately, hes a man of his word.
(ighly recommend "cars)) Its not always the easiest to read *with the topics and emotions coming through+ but
its true and real and its a boo! that needs to get out there for young women to read)
Review:
It&s hard to talk about a book like this, and try to say whether I liked it or not. It absolutely held my
attention. I felt emotions throughout the entire book. ,nger, sadness, disbelief that anyone could go
through what $endra had to go through and survive. I can&t imagine going through every day life with
this kind of pain. -ow she could be expected to care about school, classes, etc. when she was dealing
with the memory of being raped since she was two years old is unfathomable. ,nd to know that her
attacker was still out there, ready to hurt her again if she ever remembered and told who he was...
I&ve never read a book about cutting before. I think it was a really good thing for a mother of a teenager
to read. It really helped me to understand what goes on in the mind of someone who cuts. The hurt that
they are trying to escape from, and yet at the same time are trying to express in a visible way. I think
+heryl did a really good ob of explaining what $endra was going through, which is not surprising
because +heryl has lived though a similar experience herself. The book was a mixture of $endra&s
irrational thoughts about blame, guilt, and insecurity but at the same time, very logical thoughts about
why she was doing what she was doing, and how it really wasn&t her fault at all. I think this was a good
approach, because if someone is going through this kind of hurt, she will relate to $endra&s thoughts,
but then will be able to see that she is not to blame, and hopefully be able to see that she can trust
people to help her.
.cars not only dealt with the trauma of rape and cutting, but it also had an element of mystery. The end
of the book read like a horror movie. ,s $endra works to fgure out who it was that raped her, letting
the memories food her, and reali/es that she is being stalked and threatened by the man who harmed
her. *y heart was racing as I came to the explosive ending of this book.
0verall, I think this was a very powerful book. 0ne that would be good for abuse survivors, people who
self!inure, and for adults who need to know the signs of abuse that teens are trying to show them but
don&t know how. I hurt for $endra, and for all children that have gone through abuse. Thankfully, +heryl
provides resources at the end of her book, that can help teens learn how to cope with the abuse they
have su1ered.