Workplace Stories: In the eyes of your Boss, It's a Dog's life

after all


A butcher watching over his shop is really
surprised when he saw a Dog coming inside the
shop. He shoos him away. But later, the Dog is
back again. So, he goes over to the Dog and
notices he has a note in his mouth.
He takes the note and it reads, "Can I have 12
Sausages and a leg of Lamb, please. The Dog
has money in his mouth, as well". The butcher
looks inside and, behold, a ten dollar bill. So he
takes the money and puts the sausages and
lamb in a bag, placing it in the Dog's mouth.
The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he
decides to shut up shop and follow the Dog. The Dog is walking down
the street when he comes to a level crossing. The Dog puts down the
bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in
mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and he walks across the road,
with the butcher following him all the way.
The Dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable.
The butcher is in awe at this stage. The Dog checks out the times, and
then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The Dog
walks around to the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his
seat. Another bus comes. Again the Dog goes and looks at the number,
notices it's the right bus, and climbs on.
The butcher, by now, open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus
travels through the town and out into the suburbs, the Dog looking at
the scenery. Eventually he gets up, and moves to the front of the bus.
He stands on 2 back paws and pushes the button to stop the bus. Then
he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth. Well, Dog and butcher are
walking along the road, and then the Dog turns into a house.
He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he
walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against
the door. He goes back down the path, runs up to the door and again, it
throws himself against it.
There's no answer at the house, so the Dog goes back down the path,
jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden.
He gets to the window, and beats his head against it several times,
walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the
Dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.
The butcher runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are
you doing? The Dog is a genius. He could be on TV!" to which the guy
responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that
this stupid Dog's forgotten his key."
Moral of the story: You may continue to exceed onlookers'
expectations but shall always fall short of the boss's expectations! It's a

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We are not responsible
Dog's life after all.

In the eyes of your HR Manager, you have not worked for even
one day


After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the
Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His
HR Manager (Human Resources Manager) one morning and after
exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. HR
Manager looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My
friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but HR
Manager went on to explain.
HR Manager: How many days are there in a
year?
Man: 365 days and some times 366
HR Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Man: 24 hours
HR Manager: How long do you work in a day?
Man: 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day
HR Manager: So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man: He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3, one third
HR Manager: That is nice of you! What is one third of 366 days?
Man: 122 (1/3 X 366 = 122 in days)
HR Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?
Man: No sir
HR Manager: How many days are there in a year that is weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
HR Manager: Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days,
how many days do you now have?
Man: 18 days
HR Manager: OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now
remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have
remaining?
Man: 4 days
HR Manager: Do you work on New Year day?
Man: No sir!
HR Manager: Do you come to work on workers day?
Man: No sir!
HR Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: 2 days sir!
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HR Manager: Do you come to work on the National holiday?
Man: No sir!
HR Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: 1 day sir!
HR Manager: Do you work on Christmas day?
Man: No sir!
HR Manager: So how many days are left?
Man: None sir!
HR Manager: So, what are you claiming?
Man: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing
Company money all these days.
Moral of the story: Never go to HR for help! (HR = HIGH RISK)
Workplace Stories: Washerman (Dhobi) and Two Donkeys story

Once upon a time a washerman was bringing
up two donkeys (Donkey-A and Donkey-B).
Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could
do better than the other. So, it always tries to
impress the washerman by taking more loads
and walking fast in front of him.
Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal,
carry normal load in the presence and absence
of washerman.
After a period of time, washerman started pressurizing Donkey-B to be
like Donkey-A. But Donkey-B unable to walk fast; got continuous
punishment from washerman. One day while crying disclosed to Donkey-
A, "Dear friend, only we are two here, why should we compete with each
other, but instead, we can carry equal load at normal speed ".
This made Donkey-A more energetic and next day it start carrying more
loads and even it starts walking faster. Washerman pleased more with
Donkey-A, and at the same time start punishing Donkey-B more.
Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running
fast. But it was breathtaking for Donkey-B and it could not act that way.
But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly
and finally it fell down hopelessly.
Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supreme and happily started carrying
more load at greater speed. But now the Load of the Donkey-B is also
being carried by Donkey-A., and still it has to run fast. For some time it
managed, finally due to fatigue it got tired and started feeling the pain,
but washerman expecting more from Donkey-A. It also tried best, but
couldn't cope up with his owners demand. The Washerman got angry
with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load. Donkey-A
was carrying for long time and then tried its best. But it couldn't meet
the owner's demand. Finally the day came when due to frustration the
washerman killed Donkey-A, and went for searching some other Donkey.
Moral of the story: "Think all colleagues are same and that everyone is
capable of doing the same work. Always share the load equally. Don't
ever act smart in front of your Boss and never try getting more credit.
Don't feel happy when your colleague is under pressure." It doesn't
matter if you are A or B, for the Boss you shall always be a Donkey. And
most importantly, never work hard, work cleverly.
Interesting Workplace facts: A great lesson from a simple story
of Horse and Goat


There was a farmer who had a Horse and a
Goat. One day, the Horse became ill and
farmer called the Veterinarian, who said: Well,
your Horse has a virus. He must take this
medicine for three days. I will come back on
the 3rd day and if he's not better, we have to
put him down. Nearby, the Goat listened
closely to their conversation.
Next day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The Goat approached the Horse and said: Be
strong, my friend. Get up or else they are going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The Goat came
back and said: Come on buddy, get up or else you are going to die!
Come on, I will help you get up. Let's go! One, two, three!
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the
Veterinarian said: Unfortunately, we are going to have to put him down
tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other
Horses. After they left, the Goat approached the Horse and said: Listen
pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get
up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three! Good. Now faster,
come on, Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! You did it, you are a champion!
The Horse got up with tremendous effort. After some
more encouragement from the Goat, he trotted and then galloped.
All of a sudden, the farmer came back, saw the Horse running in the
field and began shouting: It's a miracle! My Horse is cured. We must
have a grand party. Let's kill the Goat!
Moral of the story: This often happens in the workplace. Nobody truly
knows which employee actually deserves the merit of success, or who's
actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen.
Remember: Learning to live without recognition is a skill! So, if anyone
ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, then remember:
Amateurs built the Ark [which saved all the species] and professionals
built the Titanic [all died tragically].

Interesting Workplace facts: Always let your boss have the first
say


A sales representative, an administration clerk
and the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I will give each of you just
one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the administration
clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales representative. "I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you are up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.