Parenting StylesParenting

Styles


Cassey PetersonCassey Peterson








English 1 Online
Professor: Marilee Jessup
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October 23, 2012
I. Thesis Statement:
Child development, types of parenting and parenting styles are all things that new parents
should consider.
II. Who is Jean Piaget and what is his psychological theory?
A. Piagets Theory
1. Source: Psychology Ninth Edition in Modules:
a) Module 14 pgs 174-194
b) The module discusses what Piagets theory is and shows the 4
different stages that we go thru in cognitive development. Pg 178
c) Describing the different stages in cognitive development.
2. Source: Matc: Piagets theory of cognitive and affective development:
foundations of constructivism
a) This source will be utilized to provide a burden of proof in regards to
psychological variance resulting from parenting styles.
III. Authoritarian Parenting:
1. Source:
http://www.human.cornell.edu/pam/outreach/parenting/research/upload/Parenting
-20Styles-20and-20Adolescents.pdf
a) Authoritarian Parents display little warmth and are highly controlling.
They are strict disciplinarians, use a restrictive, punitive style, and insist that
their adolescent follow parental directions.
2. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles
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a) Another source with the definition and more examples on the type of
parenting.
IV. Permissive Parenting
1. Source:
http://www.human.cornell.edu/pam/outreach/parenting/research/upload/Parenting
-20Styles-20and-20Adolescents.pdf
a) Permissive Parents are very warm, but undemanding. They are
indulgent and passive in their parenting, and believe that the way to
demonstrate their love is to give in to their adolescents wishes.
2. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles
a) Another source with the definition and more examples on the type of
parenting.
V. Authoritative Parenting
1. Source: http://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html
a) This site lists the definition of an authoritative parent and shows
b) Different outcomes and application of parenting styles.

VI. Parenting as a Couple
1. Source: http://www.thesuccessfulparent.com/parenting-styles/working-with-
different-parenting-styles
a. This web source provides a blue print for utilizing a combination of
different styles that have proven to be effective methods in parenting.
I. Reflecting on how you were raised
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1. Posing the question and then making a reflection on how I was raised and the
things that I have done differently as a parent.
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Parenting Styles

The day has finally arrived, when you are holding your little bundle of joy in your arms.
Emotions of fear and uncertainty fill your mind. At that moment you realize one of the biggest fears is
failing as a parent. Child development, types of parenting and parenting styles are all things that new
parents should consider. It is important to determine which parenting style one will adhere once you
accepttake the challenge of becoming a parent.
Typically parenting methodology is not something you think about, instead you did all the
researched the latest on the latest cribs, strollers and car seats, when in reality you should have also
researched , but did you research the different types of parenting styles. If you had done your
homework you would have learned that the different parenting styles of : authoritarian, permissive and
authoritative all have very ? These styles will have different effects on your child. . During the process
of learning about the different styles you may discover that using a single style may not be the answer;
infact you may realize that merging two different is the key to . This brings to mind; how to turn two
parenting styles into one. Reflect about the way your parents raised you; and contemplate practices
you would do differently.
To help understand how your child develops, we need to reference an expert on this subject,
Jean Piaget and his research in the discovery of mapping how a child develops. Piaget was a
psychologist that spent 60 years recording the mental development of children.
Piaget preferred to be classified as a genetic epistemologist (the science of how knowledge is
acquired.) His work was primarily concerned with describing and explaining in a very systematic
way the growth and development of intellectual structures and knowledge. (Wadsworth 1)
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Piaget identified four different stages of human cognitive development.
1. The stage of sensorimotor intelligence (0-2 years). During this stage, behavior is
primarily sensory and motor. The child does not yet internally represent events and
think conceptually, although cognitive development is seen as schemata are
constructed.
2. The stage of preoperational thought (2-7 years). This stage is characterized by
the development of language and other forms of representation and rapid conceptual
development. Reasoning during this stage is dominated by perception and is thru
prelogical or semilogical.
3. The stage of concrete operations (7-11 years). During these years, the child
develops the ability to apply logical thought to concrete problems in the present.
4. The stage of formal operations (11-15 years or older). During this stage, the
childs cognitive structures reach their greatest level of development and the child
becomes capable of applying logical reasoning to all classes of problems. (Wadsworth
26)
Understanding the different stages will help parents comprehend why their child doesnt think like
them, and how each parent can adapt style while raising your child.
The sensorimotor stage occurs from birth to approximately two years of age. Your child views
the environment through senses and differentiation in actions. In addition, your child will develop
various object permanences and may also experience stranger anxiety during this stage.
The Preoperational thought stage occurs between the ages of two and seven. Your child will use
words and visual images to communicate verbally and comprehend stimuli. During this stage your child
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will also use intuitive as opposed to logical reasoning. Your child will develop egocentrism where they
believe their view is the only one that matters and will also engage in a lot of pretend play.
The concrete operations stage occurs between the ages of seven and eleven. Your child will
begin thinking logically about concrete events. They will also start developing analogies and performing
arithmetical operations and will develop mathematical transformations and variance in conservations.
The formal operations stage occurs between the ages of eleven and fifteen. Your child will
begin to think abstractly using reasoning. They will develop abstract logic and begin using moral
reasoning as they mature.
Jean Piaget identified significant cognitive milestones and stimulated worldwide interest in how
the mind develops. (Myers 185) Piaget helped parents have a better understanding of the different
cognitive stages their child will go thru; he also helped parents understand that children will thrive thru
the environment that we raise them in.
Now that we have more insight on the ways children grow and develop. Its time to start
thinking about the type of parent you want to be. There are three main styles of parenting each one has
a different effect on the way your child grows. As we discuss the parenting styles think about the way
you were raised and the type of parent you would like to be for your child, its also important to think
about how to parent with your spouse.
An authoritarian parent is one who does not give their child the love and affection they desire.
This type of parent is one who is very controlling and expects their child to follow the very strict rules
that are set. An authoritarian parent uses phrases such as you will do this because I said, and
because Im the parent and you are not (Kopko 2) When the child reaches adolescence an
authoritarian parent will expect that the child; will accept all of the rules and practices of the house
without question. Authoritarian parents do not have much of a relationship with their child as they do
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not engage in conversations. Children of authoritarian parents will learn to follow rules and strict
discipline; however there are some serious concerns to be had. The child could have a break down due
to the stresses of this type of parenting. There could be aggression issues. The child may have less social
competence as the parent generally tells the child what to do instead of allowing the child to choose by
him or herself. (Parenting Styles 2.2)
A permissive parent is one who gives their child the love and affection they desire. This type of
parent is very passive and has a belief that the only way to show their love is to give into their childs
wishes. They make few demands and use little punishment. (Myers 193) Permissive parents use
phrases as sure, you can stay up late if you want to, and you do not need to do any chores if you
dont feel like it. (Kopko 2) When the child reaches adolescence they tend to make important decisions
without the input of their parent. The parent sees themselves as a resource for their child not as an
authority figure. Children that grow up with permissive parenting learn that there are very few rules
and consequences. The children could have issues with self-control and developing relationships with
their peers.
An authoritative parent is one who sets limits and expects good behavior, tends to reason with
their child and is very responsive to their childs emotional needs and is very involved with their child.
They like having a balance between freedom and responsibility and encourage self-discipline, maturity,
and a respect for others. (Gwene Dewar) Authoritative parents do not use phrases such as you will do
this because I said, and because Im the parent and you are not (Kopko 2). When the child reaches
adolescents they will have a higher self-esteem and independence because of the give-take nature of
the authoritative parenting style. (Parenting Styles)
How do two people combine two parenting styles into one? You have already been taught how
to be a parent from your parents.
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When we become parents ourselves, the blueprint from our own families of origin are already
set in and this blueprint is the background of the parenting style we develop as we being
parenthood. (Frazier)
Its important for both parents to sit down and write down the values each was raised with and
think about which ones are important, also think about what you would change. Its important for both
parents to agree on how they would like to parent. If both parents are not on the same team, then
there will be flaws in the plan. If there is some conflict on the parenting style, its important not to
settle on a decision right away, instead take some time apart and come back after a time period has
passed and discuss the conflict. Its very important to make sure there is structure in your family. Have
a weekly or monthly family calendar and talk over the different things that will be happening each week,
this way everyone in the family will be on the same page. Giving children chores to do is not a bad
thing; children need to have little jobs to do and working toward a reward is a valuable lesson of positive
reinforcement.
According to Barbra Frazers article Working with Different Parenting Styles There can be
negative side effects when parents are not working together:
Feeling confused as to what to do, how to act, whats okay and not okay and generally
what the real rules are.
Parenting conflicts offer children the opportunity to come between their parents and
work both sides, manipulating situations for their seeming benefit.
Children can end up devaluing one of their parents as they align themselves with the
parent they feel has the best style, or the one that gives them the most privileges.
As adults, children who come from families with greatly disparate parenting styles may
feel that marriage is not a viable relationship, or they would rather not have children
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themselves or worse yet, they mindlessly repeat the pattern by marrying someone with
a very different style from theirs and the whole thing plays out again.
As adults, children coming from a very conflicted style may endure adult depression and
or anxiety as the effects of the conflict settle into their psyche.
Be assured that combining parenting styles is not a bad thing. There are positive things that will
happen for your child. Your child will see that by communication and some give and take compromises
can be made. Your child will have the ability to have a parent that they may feel more comfortable
talking to about their feelings. Your child will learn that relationships can have differences but decisions
can be made in a reasonable fashion.
Its important to reflect on how you were raised. Recently in my psychology I was studying the
different styles of parenting. My professor asked the question of what type of parenting style we were
raised with, what types of parenting style were your parents raised with, and if we are parents or ever
become parents what style would be strive to be.
I was an only child. I would have to say I was raised with an authoritarian (mom) and
authoritative (dad) with a side of permissiveness; its a combination I know. The reason why I say my
mom was an authoritarian is I never did feel any closeness of affection from her. On my wedding day
the photographer asked my mom to give me a kiss on the cheek. Unfortunately that was the most
uncomfortable picture I took that day. I remember both of us laughing uncomfortably as we never
showed affection toward each other. I would say my dad was more on the authoritative side he was the
one to give punishment out when I would do something wrong. I feel closer to my dad when I have
something going on in my life I will go to him. Both of my parents had their moments of permissiveness,
I dont know if it was because I was an only child or if they just chose to look the other way. I did come
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from a loving home, once I started learning about the different parenting styles things came into a
clearer perspective as to why my parents raised me the way they did.
My mom was one of eight children. My mom had a father that was an alcoholic and eventually
her parents divorced leaving her mom to raise eight children by herself. I never knew my grandpa but
had a good relationship with my grandma. My grandma was a very strong woman and I would have to
say had more of the authoritarian type of parenting.
My dad was one of three children, when my dada was seventeen my grandpa passed away. My
grandma and I had a good relationship looking back I would have to say she was more of an
authoritative parent. The challenge that my grandma had was she had two children that were three
years apart and my dad was seventeen years younger than her oldest child. Therefore I would think that
her parenting style with my dad would have been different than it was with her older children.
I would have to say my parents chose to parent me with the styles they were raised with. I
dont think my parents ever really sat down and talked about what was important to them and what
they would do differently, decisions were usually made by one parent and not as a joint decision.
What type of parent I strive to be? I am a mother of three beautiful daughters; twins that are
ten and a singleton that is seven. For a first time parent being told that you will be having twins at
twenty weeks into the pregnancy was a huge shock. My husband and I definitely had our boughts of
fear. I knew that when I became a mother I was going to show my kids the affection I never had. I tell
my girls every day that I love them. We have a bed time ritual of a kiss good night and always saying I
love you. I never grew up with family dinner at the dining room table; family dinners were on the
couch in the living room watching TV. My family sits down at the table every night; occasionally we do
have those family dinners in the living room on the couch watching TV. I sit down and talk with my girls
all the time, I feel its important to know what is going on with them and make sure they are doing ok.
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My husband and I definitely work like a well oiled machine. We have a chore chart for our girls and
they rotate setting and clearing the table, collecting laundry, taking trash out and cleaning the kitty litter
box. When it comes to making a decision about our girls doing something we do sit down and talk
about it. Its important to both of us that our girls see that we do take their feelings into consideration,
dont get me wrong we do have our moments but what family doesnt. With that being said I would say
my husband and I are authoritative parents.
Parenting will never be a walk in the park; as much as we wish our children came with
instruction manuals they dont. Its important to understand that children are always learning and
developing, what they dont understand today they may understand tomorrow. Its important to keep
that line of communication open. Think about the way you were raised and what you would do
differently, if you change just one thing about the way you were raised that will make you a better
parent and the cycle will continue when your child becomes a parent. Parenting is a learning curve and
when you find that style that works for you and your spouse you too will run like a well oiled machine
your children will be so much better for it when they become adults.







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I.Works Cited
Frazier, Barbara. "http://www.thesuccessfulparent.com/parenting-styles/working-with-different-
parenting-styles?format=pdf." 13 January 2010. http://www.thesuccessfulparent.com. 28
October 2012.
Gwene Dewar, Ph.D. "http://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html." 2010.
http://www.parentingscience.com. 27 October 2012.
Kopko, Kimberly. "http://www.parenting.cit.cornell.edu." 2007. http://www.parenting.cit.cornell.edu.
24 October 2012.
Myers, David G. Psychology Ninth Edition in Modules. Holland, Michigan: Worth Publishers, 2009.
Parenting Styles. 14 October 2012. 24 October 2012. <http://www.wikipedia.org>.
Wadsworth, Barry j. Piaget's Theory of Cognitive and Affective Development Fifth Edition. White Plains,
N.Y.: Longman Publishing Usa, 1996.



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