-

C~lebrating The Winter Solstice

Christmas: The Relics Of A Pagan Past
Duderonomy: That's Just, Like, Your Opinion, Man
Christmas Before Christ
A Nativity Potpourri

American Atheists Es~ential Reading List

Books on this Itst have been selected to provide introductory

information

on topics of interest to Atheists. They address

a wide range of important subjects such as:the history of Atheist thought, the origins of modern religion, the role
.reliqion plays in modern culture and politics, Atheist parenting, and the ongoing battle for the separation between
church and state. While these titles represent only a fraction of the books available from American Atheist Press,
collectively they provide a broad overview of Atheist thought.

Natural Atheism by David Eller

stock# 5902

Our best-selling book. A great overview of Atheist philosophy from the perspecti~

Christianity before Christ by John G.Jackson

$18.00

352 pp.

paperback

of a "natural" Atheist.

stock# 5200

$14.00

237 pp.

paperback

stock# 5096

$6.00

57 pp,

s~tapled

stock# 558~.

$12.00

157 pp.

paperback

Christian doctrines are traced to their origins in older religi,s,'

The Case Against Religion by Albert Ellis"

A psychotherapist's

view of the harmful aspects of religious belief.

Living in the Light by Anne R.Stone

Subtitled "Freeing Your Child from the Dark Ages/'this

book serves as a manual for Atheist parents. ~.:,:;

Our ConstitutJon: The Way It Was by Madalyn O'Hair

stock# 5400
$6.00
70 pp.
stapled
American Atheist Radio Series episodes about the myth that our founding fathers created a Christian nation.

'" Is an Atheist! by Madalyn O'Hair

What on Earth

stock# 5412

American Atheist Radio Series episodes on various topics of Atheist philosophy

The Bible Handbook

A compilation

by G. W,Foote, w'P.Ball,etal.

stock# 5008

of biblical absurdities, contradictions,

atrocities, lrnmoraljties

An Atheist Epic by Madalyn O'Hair

paperback

$17.00

:)72 pp.

paperback

$18.00

302 pp.

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prayer and bible recitation in schools in the United States.

65 Press Interviews by Robert G.lngersol/

Ingersoll's 19th-century

288 pp.

and obscenities.

stock# 5376

The personal story of the battle to end mandatory

$18.00

and history.

stock# 5589

newspaper interviews as a Freethinker and ~pponent

An Atheist Primer by Madalyn O'Hair

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262 pp.

paperback

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of superstition.

stock# 5372

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A humorous look at god concepts will help children (and adults) have a clear view of religion.

An Atheist Looks at Women & Religion by Madalyn O'Hair

stock# 5419
Why attempts to reconcile religion with civil rights for women are self-defeating.

$10.00

42 pp.

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The Jesus the Jews Never Kpew by Frank R.zindler

$20.00

5.44 pp.

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stock# 7026

A search of ancient Jewish literature yields no evidence for the existence of any historical Jesus.

The Great Infidels by RobertG.lngersoll

How nonbelievers and Atheists have contributed

stock# 5197

$7.00

to civilization and enriched our lives.

Our Pagan Christmas by R.J.Condon

stock# 5064
The non-Christian origins of common Christmas customs are explored.

$3.00

20 pp.

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Sex Mythology by Sha Rocco

$8.00

55 pp.

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24 pp.

pamphlet

stock# 5.440

A scholarly study explores the sexual origins of religious symbols including the Christfan cross.

Morality without Religion

Atheist leaders and philosophers

stock# 831 0

$1.00

give their views on godless ethics.

Please see the order form located in the center of the magazine for member discounts and shipping & handling.

www~atheists. org

NOV/DEC 2007
Vol 45, No.1 0

American AtlieislMagazineISSN0516-9623 (Print)

ISSN 1935-8369 (Online)
Editor, American Atheist Press

Frank Zindler

CONTENTS

Editor, American Atheist Magazine

Ellen Johnson

Regular Contributors

From The President

Detroit Lawsuit Decision

Conrad F.Goeringer
Frank Zindler

by Ellen Johnson

Designer

Elias Scultori

Cover Design
Tim Mize

Celebrating The Winter Solstice

by Ellen Johnson

Editorial Assistants

Gil and Jeanne Gaudia

Letters To The Editor

Published monthly (except June &

December) by American Atheists Inc.
Mailing Address:

P.O.Box 5733
Parsippany, NJ 07054-6733
phone - 908.276.7300
FAX- 908.276.7402
editor@americanatheist.org
www.atheists.org
2007 by American Atheists Inc.
All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part
without written permission
is prohibited.
American Atheist Magazine is indexed
in the Alternative Press Index.
American Atheist Magazine
is given free of cost to members of
American Atheists as an incident
of their membership.
Subscription fees for one year of the
American Atheist magazine:
Print version only: $40 for 1
subscription and $25 for each
additional gift subscription
Online-version only: $35
(Sign up at www.atheists.org/aam.)
Print & online: $55
Discounts for multiple-year
subscriptions: 10% for two years
20% for three or more years
Additional postage fees
for foreign addresses:
Canada & Mexico: add $1O/year
All other countries: add $30/year
Discount for libraries and institutions:
50% on all magazine subscriptions
and book purchases

BYU Scientists Convert Matter Into Mormonism

The Onion

Christmas Before Christ

by Joseph McCabe

11

Christmas: The Relics Of A Pagan Past

by Dr. Sthitaprajna

1S

Winter Solstice - Cards & Gifts

21

A Nativity Potpourri
by Frank R.Zindler

26

Duderonemy.That's
by Cathleen

Zl

30

Just, Like, Your Opinion, Man.

Falsani

Atheist Singles
NFL Star Thanks Jesus After Successful Double Homicide
The Onion

31

Foxhole Atheist Of The Month

TSgt. Darren Vick

from the president

Detroit Lawsuit Decision

Ellen Johnson

April
n of 2006, American Atheists filed suit in the US District
Court for the Eastern District of Michigan, Sourhern Division,
against the City of Detroit, the City of Detroit Downtown Development Authority and the Detroit Economic Growth Corporation, to have declared unconstitutional under the Establishment
Clause of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution
and similar provisions of the Michigan Constitution, the defendants'
payment of funds directly to two Detroit churches for repairs and improvements to the exteriors of several of their structures and parking
lots as part of the "Lower Woodward Facade Improvement Plan in
the Lower Woodward neighborhood of downtown Detroit.
The defendants paid approximately $690,000.00 of tax dollars to the two churches to improve their real estate. Such direct subsidies of religious organizations from taxpayer-derived funds violates
the Plaintiffs' rights to be free of taxation for the support of religious
organizations under the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, and Article I, Sections
4 and 5 of the Michigan Constitution
Under a program named the Lower Woodward Redevelopment Initiative, the DDA allocated the sum of$11.18 million during
the fiscal year 2004-2005 for grants to property owners for improvements to facades and parking lots within the boundaries of DDA
Development Area No.1 C'Fayade Improvement Program").
Under the Facade Improvement Program property owners,
who made exterior building improvements were eligible to receive up
to $150,000 in matching funds from the DDA. In addition, under

AMEluCANATHEIST

NOVEMBERimcEMBER2007

the Facade Improvement Program property owners who made parking lot edge improvements were eligible to receive up to $30,000 in
matching funds from the DDA.
The DDA has paid or approved seven grant applications to
pay approximately $690,000.00 of tax dollars, under the Facade Improvement Program to the Central United Methodist Church, located at 23 East Adams Avenue, Detroit, Michigan; and Second Baptist
Church, located at 441 Monroe Street, Detroit, Michigan.
We argued that because all, save one, of the church properties have religious uses, the FIP grants that improve those properties
subsidize and advance those religious uses and activities and advance
the churches' religious mission by enriching the religious organizations. As for the grant for improvements to the property, owned
by the Second Baptist Church and rented to Onyx (Marilyn's On
Monroe), the proceeds of that property finance the operations of the
church, so there is no assurance that the investment in that property
is for a secular use. Quite to the contrary, the grant assures that the
church's religious activity is subsidized by the improvements to its
investment property. The grant for that property enriches the church
and thereby advances its religious mission. As a result, because the
grants repair and improve properties used for religious activities they
are unconstitutional.
On August 8, 2007, Judge Avern Cohn ruled that payments
made to repair lights, masonry and brickwork, outdoor planters, removal of a canopy or replacement of fabric awning, installation of
a concrete ramp, expansion of an entranceway, replacement of an
overhang, repair or replacement of metal coping, painting of exterior
doors, building trim and gutters, repairs and improvements to parking lots, replacement of windows, and removal of caulking on glass,
all lack religious content and so are a constitutional expenditure of
taxpayers money.
However, he ruled that tax money spend on church signs and
stained glass windows is unconstitutional because they convey a religIOUSmessage.
Because the decision contained errors of law, our attorney
Robert J. Bruno, filed a motion for an amended judgment. This motion basically asks the judge to correct his ruling and spells out all the
reasons why the judge's decision was wrong. The judge granted the
motion and gave the defendants 20 days to respond to Mr. Bruno's
motion and then Mr. Bruno can respond to the defendants. The
decision and motion for an amended judgment can be read at our
website. Just click on "lawsuits" at the homepage.
We are able to file these lawsuits because of your memberships
and donations. Thank-you for your support and for making this all
possible. We will continue to keep you informed.

Celebrating The WInter Solstice

by Ellen Johnson, President
American Atheists
The revised article originally appeared in the Nov.!Dec. 2006 issue.
have always celebrated the Winter Solstice even though I never
heard the term when I was growing up. My family wasn't religious, and so when December rolled around it just meant cold
weather winter coats, hot chocolate, snow and yes, Christmas.
But Christmas was just about getting presents and a day off from
school, pretty much what it is for the rest of America's youth. There
was nothing religious about it, because I didn't know anything about
Jesus, and that was just fine with me. I just enjoyed everything secular
that one can enjoy at wintertime.
I never once accepted that there was a Santa Clause and I don't
even remember my parents telling me and my sisters that there was one.
Besides, my parents wouldn't have been able to pull off the Santa story
for very long because our house was small and we always found the hidden "Christmas" presents and peaked at them. We knew where presents
came from. They came from our parents because they loved us, and
that meant more to me than getting presents from a strange character
in a red suit ever could. Those of us who didn't believe in Santa Clause
enjoyed having this special inside information that we would enlighten
other kids with. I guess I was in training for my present job.
In December we decorated a tree, put colored lights around
the house, built snowmen, and went sleigh riding and ice-skating. It
was all good. It was all about enjoying the winter season. And that is
what the Winter Solstice is all about, the celebration of the season. It
isn't about Jesus. It isn't about humans. It's just about the season. It's
about winter.
It wasn't until I became a member of American Atheists in 1978
that I learned about the Winter Solstice. Before then I had never
heard the term.
For me, celebrating the Winter Solstice is one of the best parts
about being an Atheist. We have something to celebrate that makes
sense. Unlike the Theists who can't even agree on when their mythological Jesus was supposed to have been born, we Atheists know the
exact time of the Solstice every year. This year it occurs on December
22 at 1:08 am eastern standard time. How cool is that?
I look forward to the Solstice because I dread the shorter and
darker days of fall and winter. I like to go for long walks after work and
I can't do that in the dark winter evenings. On the Solstice, the process
finally reverses itself, the days get longer and I couldn't be happier.
When I had children of my own I never told them that Santa
Clause was real. I don't think it's charming to lie to children. My son
and daughter didn't miss the Santa myth, the tooth fairy myth or the
Jesus myth.
When they started (public) school there was always the annual Christmas and Hanukkah party in December. And I was right
there to tell the teachers that I wanted to talk to the students about

what our family celebrated. What could they say? It was only about
the beginning of winter. And so for many years I would go into my
son and daughter's classes with homemade sun cookies or a sun cake.
A sun cake was just a homemade cake with a yellow and orange sun
designed on the top. American Atheists sells "sun" cookie cutters if
you want to make sun cookies. You can just make sugar sun-shaped
cookies and put yellow sugar on top.
I would read to the class from a book we sell called THE WINTER SOLSTICE. It is a beautifully illustrated book, which explains
it all. Did my children face any negative consequences from all this
talk about the Solstice? No. But maybe that's because we live in New
Jersey and it's not very religiously oppressive here.
My children grew up with a decorated evergreen tree during
the Solstice season. We called it our "Solstice" tree. I have accumulated a beautiful collection of sun ornaments over the years and I
topped the tree with our sun tree topper. Yes, some people think that
an evergreen is too "Christmas" but not me. The evergreen was always part of ancient Roman Saturnalia celebrations. I have all kinds
of sun decorations that I put around the house. These can be found
in stores everywhere. Candles added a nice touch by representing the
light of the sun. My Atheist friends get "Solstice" cards and everyone
else gets "Happy Holidays cards."
I have some beautiful "sun" necklaces and earrings that I wear
at this time and my car always has the "Solstice Is The Reason For
The Season" bumper sticker on it at this time. We now have a beautiful green and red "Merry Winter Solstice" gel bracelet that American
Atheists sell and I'll be wearing it too.
We always tried to celebrate the Solstice on the Solstice. That
isn't easy because our society doesn't recognize it as a day off. But that
was the day when we opened presents. My children got to have their
special day before everyone else so when Christmas occurred they
didn't feel like they had missed anything.
My daughter is in high school now and my son just started
college. My daughter doesn't want Mom in class doing her Solstice
presentation anymore and I miss that. But December will always
mean the Solstice to me. And I'm so happy that I have been able to
pass this on to my children.
The founder of American Atheists Madalyn O'Hair proposed
that the Winter and Summer Solstices and Vernal and Autumnal
Equinoxes become international days of celebration and I agree. Seasonal changes are something that all humans experience and have in
common and doesn't our world need more things to celebrate, which
connect us one to the other?
I hope that you all enjoy the Winter Solstice as much as I do
and make it a time of year that you can feel good about celebrating.

NOVEMBERIDECEMBER2007

AMBuCAN

Arnasr

Letters to the Editor

Would the Pope Tell a Lie?

Editor:
Thank you for the recent article on the lies of Benedict XVI.
(Would the Pope Tell a Lie? (AA mag., Aug. 2007.)
As a former Catholic, I do not find his statements to be all that
surprising. Untruths of this sort are part of the very fabric of Church
historians. Throughout grade school and high school (I never attended public schools) my classmates and I were instructed in a very sanitized version of Church history. One would think that the Indians of
South and Central America voluntarily thronged to the missions set
up by Spanish priests, when in fact Indian children were kidnapped
for conversion while their parents were marched off into slavery.
Catholic history books I studied during the 50's and 60's carried little or no information on the Inquisition or the fact that it was
promulgated with great relish in the New World.
By the time I was a senior in high school the doctrine of Papal
Infallibility was one of the first factors leading to my eventual atheism. My instructor, a priest, fell back on this premise time and time
again to support the Church's most outrageous marriage rules and
injunctions against birth control, regardless of any objections that
countless lives and marriages were being ruined.
Nowadays, most Catholics merely stick their heads in the sand
and don't spend any time thinking deeply about Benedict's proclamations, which wreak havoc in Third World countries. I have tried on
numerous occasions to discuss the matters you wrote about with
my Catholic relatives, only to have them immediately change the
subject or regard me with puzzled looks. To them, ignorance is bliss.
Karl Ploran
Chester,MA

Taking Atheism

Out of the Closet

Editor:
I want to emphasize the importance of writing letters to newspapers as discussed by John Bice in his article Taking Atheism Out
of the Closet (Aug. 2007). Since I have been writing short letters of
rebuttal pointing out the illogical reasoning of the religious letters
in the Letters to the Editor columns, they have virtually stopped. The
illogical pratings continue in the Religion Section but my letters of
logic and reason have virtually stopped religious diatribe letters in
the Letters to the Editor section.
The letters need not be lengthy, but they must be reasonable
and logical.
John A. Henderson, MD
Asheville, NC
Author of: God.com: A Deity for the New Millennium, FEAR
FAITHFACTFANTASY,JudgingGod

Incomplete

Library?

Editor:
San Mateo city in California has a beautiful, brand new, very
modern and well-equipped library. It is quite a showcase that I
would proudly take visitors to see.
Imagine my surprise when going through the rather extensive magazine racks: not a single Freethought publication! No
"Freethought Today'; no "Free Inquiry" or "Skeptical Inquirer'; - not
even "American Atheists"! However, "Christianity Today'; "Tzu Chi Buddhism in Action" and "Spirituality & Health" were prominently
displayed.

AMEiuCANAnmST

NOVEMBEIVDECEMBER2007

Why is this? Is it an oversight, lack of awareness, a conspiracy

against the freethought movement, or what? Can something be
done centrally to influence the libraries across the nation, or can
we non-believers do something locally to make libraries within our
own areas carry freethought publications?
I also noticed there is no section for freethought, atheist or
anti-religion litterature either. When I inquired at the info desk, I was
referred to the "Religion" section, where I found absolutely nothing
besides religious books! What a shame!
Jorg Aadahl
San Mateo, California
In order to help get these materials
discount

on American

Atheist

Magazine

count on all of our books. Unfortunately,

where librarians

into libraries we offers a 50%

to libraries and a 20% diswe aren't yet at the point

so
of American

think about shelving Atheist books and magazines

Atheists need to donate these books and/or a subcriptions

Atheist Magazine

to the libraries themselves in order to get them on the

shelves .. (Editor)

Virginia

Boy Scouts Give Atheists The Brush-Off

Editor:
I am an Atheist and my husband is Catholic. I was interested
in enrolling my son, 7, in the Boy Scouts. That was until I learned of
their non-religious intolerance. So I thought I would give them a call
to see if the local chapter was tolerant to nontheists.1 was immediately directed to the director of Shenandoah Valley,VA. He told me
that Atheists were selfish, immoral people and no boy can become
a successful, well-rounded, young man without believing in god.
Then he said in all seriousness,"Humans did not create the universe!
So,how can you not believe in god?" I was shocked at his stupidity!
I couldn't help but start laughing. I thanked him for his time and
made my decision about enrolling my child. Apparently, the Boy
Scouts do not value a decent education!
Jannelle Post
Stephens City, VA

The Thomas

Moore or Less Law Center

Editor:
Enjoyed the "news" article aboutTom Monaghan's new city in
Naples, Florida. Enjoyed it because my town is slowly getting rid
of Pope Tom, as he's called here in Ann Arbor, and I'm personally
thrilled that Ave Maria College moved out of this area. Monaghan
moved his college south when he could no longer push around the
planning commission and they rejected his plans to build a campus
here, mainly because he wanted to erect a 275-foot tall cross on the
site. So he took his toys and moved to Florida, which is their loss and
our gain. His Ave Maria Law School is still here, but will also move to
the new city in 2008.
As a long time patient escort at the local Planned Parenthood
I've had to deal with these very conservative "Monaghan's Meddling Minions" for years. I've probably listened to more Hail Mary's
than most Catholics. When the college left town our clinic encounters fell off somewhat, but I'm now eagerly awaiting the law school's
departure. Now if Pope Tom would move his law firm (Thomas More
Center) south also the air would be much clearer in Michigan.
Bernie Klein
Ann Arbor, Mi.

BYU Scientists Convert Matter

Into Mormonism
by the onion-www.theonion.com
(Humor)
According to BYU physicists, the new Joseph Smith Particle Accelerator
may someday enable Mormons to proselytize "cheaply, cleanly and efficiently. "
PROVO, UT -A team of physicists
announced
particle

yesterday

from Brigham Young University

that they have succeeded

of matter into the truth and sanctity

in converting

a tiny

of the Book of Mormon.

"This opens up a new world of possibilities for the Church,"

said Zebulon Calhoun, a particle physicist and Priest of the
Melchizedek Order."We can now conceive of a time in the near
future when we will be able to proselytize cheaply, cleanly and
efficiently."
The breakthrough occurred at the Joseph Smith Particle
Accelerator, a giant, hollow tube buried 90 feet below the Bonneville Salt Flats.The tube was unearthed in 1986 by Mormon
archaeologists after the President of the Church beheld a vision
of a "splendiferous airy ring submerged by the Nephites as a
final tabernacle before the great cataclysm."
To trigger the matter-to-Mormonism conversion, a microgram of the element strontium is ordained by the doctrine and
arcana of the Urim and Thummim, then bombarded by a highenergy photon traveling at four-fifths the speed of light.
Strontium was chosen for the project because "of all the
elements it is the most unstable and therefore the most likely
to react strongly to common-sense teachings."
According to Calhoun, though the conversion was invisible
to the naked eye, subatomic "fingerprints" left by the collision reveal that for a brief period, the neutrons and protons in
the nuclei of the atoms were actually fused together by faith
in JesusChrist and his Gospel as restored through his latterday prophet,Joseph Smith. Though the Mormon Church has
acheived great successwith its missionary work in the past, the

lettoerto the editor 1

MPETmON 2008

The Letter to the Editor Competition 2008 is open only to members of'
American Atheists. To enter, send the uncut and complete newspaper
page containinqyour published letter to:
NealCary
P.O. Box 828
Glen Allen, VA.23060-0828
Letters must be published between January 1a'~d December 31.2007.
Include your address and telephone number, and your e-mail address
should you have one. Letters can cover any issue of importance which
advances the Atheist cause. Letters will be judged by educational
~ontent, persuasiveness, and how well they portray Atheism in a positive
light. Members of the board, officers. and State and Regional Directors
are ineligible to enter. The winner will be announced at the National
Convention 2008, receive an American Atheist award plaque, and one
free year of membership in American Atheists. All entered letters will be
displayed at Convention 2008.

Joseph Smith Particle Accelerator is expected to revolutionize

its recruitment efforts.
"Within 50 years,"Calhoun said,"the Mormonism contained
in the atoms of just a single glass of water will be enough to
convert a city the size of St. Louis."
Despite widespread enthusiasm, many Church Elders
remain cautious.
"When you're dealing with a high-tech religious converter
like this, you always run the risk of a terrible accident," Gadzekiel Foley said."The last thing we need to worry about is a possible Mormon meltdown."
"I don't think we will ever find a replacement for good oldfashioned missionary work," agreed Gad Jones,Church Elder
and president of BYU'sOverseas Studies Program."ln terms of
spreading goodwill and interest in our faith, all the atoms in the
world still can't do what was once done by a little bit of country
and a little bit of rock'n' roll."
With its new converter, the Mormon Church should leap
well ahead of its religious competitors. Catholic scientists are
still experiencing technical problems with their guilt-fusion
reactor, a device critics say requires such high levels of devotional prayer to reach operating temperature that it may never
be cost effective.
The Lutheran Church has struggled as well,as its Missouri
Synod Project, once touted as the forgiveness generator of
tomorrow, has yet to produce its first high-energy, room-temperature Lutheran.
Only Hinduism has been able to keep pace with the
Mormons, maintaining its longtime dominance in the field of
Reincarnatronic technology.

Copyright 2007, Onlon.lnc.All

rights reserved.

NEW Life Members

AMERICAN ATHEISTS Welcomes

New

Daniel J. Kelleher, Kalispell,

MT
Mareth Sapiens, Santa Barbara,
Dave Goetzinger, Seattle, WA

Life

Members

CA

In Memoriam
Robert Higgins, Glenwood,

AZ

NOVEMBERiDECEMBER2007

AMERiCANAlHEiST

have said, there

is no clue in the
Gospels to the time
of the year when Jesus
is supposed to have been
born: except, indeed, that it
cannot have been midwinter, for that
is the rainy season and shepherds would not be
out in the night. Even Jewish mothers would cherish birthdays: but
Miriam of Nazareth either forgot the date of that very wonderful
day or omitted to mention it in her communication, late in life, of
the remarkable story. Early Christendom found itself in the peculiar
position of telling the world of the most tremendous birth there ever
was on this planet and being quite unable to say when it happened.
It was centuries before even the year could be determined; and then
it was determined wrongly. Nobody now holds that Jesus was born
in the year 1 A.D.
The result was that for several hundred years the various
churches celebrated the birthday of the lord on different dates. The
eastern churches generally kept it on January 6th, which is now the
Epiphany. Other churches chose April 24th or 25th, and some placed
it in May. It was not until 354 A.D. that the church chose December
25th as the anniversary of the birthday of Christ. Rome was then the
leading church; and why Rome hesitated so long, and why in the
middle of the fourth century (when it was, with imperial aid, trying
to bring in the whole Roman Empire) it had chosen December 25th,
we must now see.
In order to realize it, to see how the rise of Christianity is
a very human part of human evolution, let us imagine ourselves as
members of the small and obscure group of Christians in Rome, say,
in the fourth century. We have two poor meeting places - one of them
is a room above a small wine shop - in the despised quarter of Rome
beyond the river (the slope of the Vatican Hill) where criminals live
and the dead are buried.
Midwinter approaches and Rome is lit up with joy. It is the
festival of the old yegetation-god Saturn who (as a god) died, or was

AMERICAN ATHEIST ~

NOVEMBERiDECEMBER2007

displaced by Jupiter, the sky-god. But he has a fine temple on

the Capitol, and his festival lasts seven days and is the
most joyous time of the joyous Roman year. For one
day sl~ves are free. They don the conical cap of
the freedman-as good Christians continue at
Christmas to don such caps of paper, and
hilarious Americans don them at festive
dinners today - and sit at table while
masters wait on them.
Stalls laden with presents line
the streets near the Forum; and the
great present of the season is a doll,
of wax or terra cotta. Hundreds
of thousands of dolls lie on the
stalls or in the arms of passers by.
Once, no doubt, human beings
were sacrificed to Saturn, and, as
man grew larger than his religion,
as he constantly does, the god (or
his priests) had to be content with
effigies of men or maids, or dolls.
Crowds fill the streets and raise festive cries. It was a time of 'peace on
earth - for by Roman law no war could
begin during the Saturnalia - and of good
will toward all men.
For a whole week, from December
17th to 24th, no work is done. The one law is
good cheer, good nature. But the 25th also is a solemn festival, for it is marked in large type in the Roman
calendar "Birthday of the Unconquered Sun."
Neither Romans nor Christians understood these things. The
festival went back far into the mists of prehistoric times. It had been
earlier a one-day festival, the feast of Saturn: a very important magicoreligious festival for insuring the harvest of the next year, rejoicing
that the year's work was over, and, no doubt, helping and propitiating
the god of fecundity by generous indulgence in wine and love. Dimly,
also, these people knew that the mysterious winter dying of the sun
was arrested. It was on the turn. But only an accurate astronomy
could decide which was the real day of solstice, so they celebrated the
25th as the great day of the sun's rebirth.
We can all understand the anxious debates of these early
Christians about the birthday of the lord. Christ was the real sun that
had risen upon the world. Why not boldly take "the birthday of the
unconquered sun"? That would, incidentally, help to conciliate "the
masses." But all this ribaldry and license and fooling.,. Besides, there
was another reason.
While the Christians gathered dingily in their two little back
rooms on the Vatican Hill, there was another and more prosperous
Asiatic religion housed on the same hill. Mithraism, as it was called,
gave the Christians a very anxious time: not merely because it spread
more rapidly, and was more respected, but because it was so strikingly
like Christianity.
Mithra was an old Aryan sun-god. The reform of the Persian
religion by Zarathustra had put the ethical deity Ahura Mazda so
high above the old nature-gods that he was practically the one god.
But Mithra stole upward, as gods do, and Persian kings of the fifth
century B.C. put him on a level with Ahura Mazda.
Then the Persians conquered and blended with Babyolon, and
Mithra rose to the supreme position and became an intensely ethical

deity. He was, like Aten, the sun of the world in the same sense, as
Christ. He was honored with the sacrifice of the pleasures oflife, and
was himself credited with no amours as Zeus was. Drastic asceticism
and purity were demanded of his worshipers. They were baptized in
blood. They practiced the most severe austerities and fasts. They had
a communion supper of bread and wine. They worshiped Mithra in
underground temples, or artificial caves, which blazed with the light
of candles and reeked with incense.
And every year they celebrated the birthday of this god who
had come, they said, to take away the sins of the world; and the day
was December 25th. As that day approached, near midnight of the
24th, Christians might see the stern devotees of Mithra going to their
temple on the Vatican, and at midnight it would shine with joy and
light. The savior of the world was born. He had been born in a cave,
like so many other sun-gods: and some of the apocryphal Gospels put
the birth of Christ in a cave. He had had no earthly father. He was
born to free men from sin, to redeem them.
E Cumont, the great authority on Mithra, has laboriously collected for us all these details about the Persian religion, and more
than one of the Christian Fathers refers nervously to the close parallel
of the two religions. The Savior Mithra was in possession, had been in
possession for ages, of December 25th as his birthday. He was the real
"unconquered sun": a sun-god transformed into a spiritual god, with
light as his emblem and purity his supreme command. What could
the Christians do? Nothing, until they had the ear of the emperors.
Then they appropriated December 25th, and even bits of the Mithraic ritual; and they so zealously destroyed the traces of the Mithraic
religion that one has to be a scholar to know anything about it.
The Saturnalia and "the birthday of the unconquered sun"
and the birthday of Mithra were not all. A Roman writer of the
fourth century, Macrobius, in a work called "Saturnalia," discusses
the practice of representing the gods in the temples as of different
ages. He says:
"These differences of age refer to the sun, which seems to be
a babe at the winter solstice, as the Egyptians represent him in their
temples on a certain day: that being the shortest day, he is then supposed to be small and an infant. "
And this is confirmed by, and receives very interesting additions from, a Christian writer, the author of the "Paschal Chronicle."
He says:
"Jeremiah gave a sign to the Egyptian priests, saying that their
idols would be destroyed by a child-savior, born of a virgin and lying in a manger. Wherefore they still worship as a goddess a virginmother, and adore an infant in a manger. (Col. 385 in the Migne
edition, vol. XCII.)
The explanation is, of course, ludicrous. As I explain in the
chapter on Egyptian religion, Horus, the deity in question, was a very
old sun-god of the Egyptians. In the adjustment of the rival Egyptian
gods, when the tribes were amalgamated in one kingdom, Horus was
made the son of Osiris and Isis. The latter goddess was, as I said, the
sister and the spouse (or lover) of Osiris; but whether we should speak
of her as "a virgin mother" is a matter of words. In one Egyptian myth
she was fecundated by Osiris in their mother's womb: in another and
more popular, she was miraculously impregnated by contact with the
phallus of the dead Osiris. Virginity in goddesses is a relative matter.
Whatever we make of the original myth, however, Isis seems
to have been originally a virgin (or, perhaps, sexless) goddess, and in
the later period of Egyptian religion she was again considered a virgin
goddess, demanding very strict abstinence from her devotees. It is
at this period, apparently, that the birthday of Horus was annually

celebrated, about December 25th, in the temples. As both Macrobius

and the Christian writer say, a figure of Horus as a baby was laid in a
manger, in a scenic reconstruction of a stable, and a statue of Isis was
placed beside it. Horus was, in a sense, the Savior of mankind. He
was their avenger against the powers of darkness; he was the light of
the world. His birth-festival was a real Christmas before Christ.
In passing, we may recall that just such a spectacle is presented
in every Roman Catholic church in the world on December 25th.
Catholics will tell you that St. Francis of Assisi invented this tender
and touching method of bringing home to men the humble birth of
the redeemer. I know too much about Francis of Assisi to imagine
that he had ever read the obscure "Paschal Chronicle," in which I
discovered this interesting passage some years ago. But certainly some
other Christian writer had seen and reproduced it, and it had come to
the knowledge of Francis. If a Catholic prefers to believe that Francis
of Assisi did in reality conceive this method of representing the birth
of Christ, he could not give us a better proof of the identity of the
Christian and the Egyptian belief The Catholic "crib" is an exact
reproduction of the "show" exhibited in Egyptian temples centuries
before Christ; and the Egyptian legend itself is thousands of years
older than Jeremiah. On the analogy of the Christian practice we may
infer that the Egyptian legend described Isis as having given birth to
her divine son in a stable. In Alexandria there was a similar Greek
celebration on December 25th of the birth of a divine son to Kore
(the "virgin").
And this is not the end. The Greeks had a similar celebration.
The general idea of a divine son being born in a cave was, as we shall
see presently, common; or there were actually several scenic representations of the birth of these gods in their festivals. M. M. Robertson
gives three in his "Christianity and Mythology" (p. 330). Hermes,
the Logos (like Jesus in John), the messenger of the gods, son of Zeus
and the virgin Maia, was born in a cave, and he performed extraordinary prodigies a few hours after birth. He was represented as a "child
wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger." Dionysos (or
Bacchus) was similarly represented. The image of him as a babe was

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laid in a basket-cradle in the cave in which he was born. There is a

good reason to think that Mithra was figured in the same way.
We understand why the church so long hesitated to put the
birth of Christ at the Winter Solstice, and why there was no scenic
representation of the birth until the Middle Ages. From end to end
of the Roman Empire December 25th was the birthday of the unconquered sun, of the Savior Mithra, and of the divine Horus and
they and the others I have mentioned, whose festivals were in other
seasons, were represented almost exactly as the birth of Christ was
described in the Gospels and is depicted in Catholic churches today.
And we must not overlook the Teutonic element. Every Roman was familiar from childhood with the great midwinter festival;
and in the earliest days of the Christian era the religions of Persia and
Egypt, with similar festivals, spread over the Empire. But the nations
of the north also had their greatest festival of the year in midwinter.
To these northern barbarians, shuddering in the snow-laden forests
beyond the Danube, the return of the sun was the most desired event
of the year; and they soon learned, approximately, the time, the Winter Solstice, when the "wheel" turned. The sun was figured as a fiery
wheel; and as late as the nineteenth century there were parts of France
where a straw wheel was set on fire and rolled down a hill, to give an
augury of the next harvest.
Hence "Yule" (from the same old Teutonic word hoel or
wheel) was the outstanding festival of the ancestors of the French and
Germans, the English and Scandinavians. The sun was born; and fires
("Yule-logs," such as are burned in British homes at Christmas today)
flamed in the forest-villages, the huts were decorated with holly and
ever-greens, Yule trees were laden with presents, and stores of solid
wood and strong drink were lavishly opened. This lasted until Twelfth
Day, now Epiphany.
Thus almost the entire civilized world of more than two
thousand years ago "had its Christmas before Christ." "The figure
of Christ," says Kalthoff, "is drawn in all its chief features before a
line of the Gospels was written." At least the figure of jesus in what
is deemed its most captivating form was drawn in every feature long
before it was presented in the Gospels. The first symbol of the Christian religion, the manger or basket-cradle of the divine child, the supposed unique exhortation to humility, was one of the most familiar
religious emblems of the pagan world. Had it been exhibited to a
crowd in one of the cosmopolitan cities of the Empire, it would have
been strange or new to very few. One might pronounce it Horus,
another Mithra, another Hermes, another Dionysos; but all would
have shrugged their shoulders nonchalantly at the news that it was
just another divine child in the great family of gods. The world flowed
on. The names only were changed.

Joseph McCabe (1867-1955) was

born in England. He spent twelve
years of his youth in a Franciscan
monastery. He left it and spent
the rest of his life as an ardent
Atheist, writing over 200 books
rangingfrom the slim Little Blue
Books (archived at the CESAALA)
to the 450,000-word Rationalist
Encyclopedia. He estimated that
he gave "some 3,000-4,000" lectures during his lifetime on subjects
rangingfrom Atheism and religion
to science and history.
10

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American Atheists Annual Convention
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BER2007

Christmas:

The Relics Of
APaganPast
by Dr. Sthitaprajna
any Christian customs including the celebration of Christmas
In
mid
winter have an unmistakable pre-Christmas
origin.
Practically
all the Christmastide customs are relics
of a pagan past. When
Christmas is around,
the first things we see
are well-lit Christmas trees decorated
and colorfully designed. And the Christmas tree,
mistletoe, holly, Yule log and even Santa Claus have their
fascinating roots in the ancient Oriental and Egyptian pagan era.
The Christmas celebration has a pagan ancestry. So the rituals attached to it can never be Christian in origin.
A legend says that when Martin Luther was wandering in the
forest on a Christmas eve he was so much impressed on seeing the
marvel of the twinkling stars on sky that immediately after returning
home, he lit up candles and decorated the fir tree with shiny tinsel to
remind the world that when he was born the sky welcomed Christ
with glimmering stars.
Decorating Christmas tree and hanging presents was introduced at Strasbourg in as late as 1605 and in England and France in
1840. It gained popularity during the reign of Queen Victoria. But
the origin of the Christmas tree dates back to the ancient Babylonian
myth and the pagan cultures of the East.
In the Mediterranean, the Cybelene cult took a procession to
the Cybelene temple carrying the god Attis on the sacred pine tree
where Attis had been crucified. Attis is a sun god who was born of
a virgin, crucified, and then resurrected each spring. The Romans
decorated the tree and hung toys. They also placed the image of the
sun god at the top.
In the sixteenth century, people decorated the fir tree hung
with apples with the "star of Bethlehem" at the top of the tree and the
Christmas crib and lights. The tree was called the Paradise tree and
seen as the "Tree oflife," symbolizing the Garden of Eden.

The Golden Bough

Pope Saint Gregory I in a letter to St. Augustine of Canterbury advised him to permit and encourage harmless popular customs
like decorating homes and churches with plants and evergreens which
could be given a Christian interpretation. For example, evergreens
were traditionally used for Christmas decorations for two simple reasons; they were the only ones available in winter and since ancient

times, pagans held the belief that evergreens have been symbolic of
eternal life.
Tree worshipping was valued as much for its ecological importance as for its symbolic significance. The earliest evidence of tree
worshipping is recorded in India from where it spread to different
cultures of the Mediterranean and even to the Jews.
The pagans believed that the vertical shape of the tree
symbolized the center-of-the-world phenomenon also
called the world-axis. Moreover, the underground roots and
the branches above reconciled the three worlds in one-the
heaven, the earth and the branches as the heaven.
However, a new dimension was added to all these
symbolisms which attracted the Christian world to treeworship and later to absorb it as one of the integral parts
of their culture. Since the cross where Christ was crucified
was believed to be sacred, the tree out of which the cross
was made was sacred too. Now the vertical arm of the
cross corresponded to the vertical symbolism of
the tree as center-of-the world or the world axis.
So the cross of Redemption was believed
to be the center-of-the-world making
crucifixion the central theme of the
cosmos.
Worshipping the oak tree was
considered pious among the Indo-European tribes. In Greece, oak was believed to be sacred
because it was the tree of the god Zeus and in Italy it was offered to
Jupiter. The Druids among the Celts of Gaul were helpless without
oak for performing rituals. In fact "Druids" means "oak men."
So connections can be made between oak tree, Yule log and
the mistletoe. The mistletoe which grew on an oak tree was thus considered sacred because the Druids believed that whatever grows on
an oak was chosen by God and sent from heaven. It was believed to
induce fertility and it was the remedy for all poisons. Mistletoe was
also seen as a life-protecting shield for the oak because while every
tree goes leafless in winter even the oak, mistletoe is all green.
Mistletoe was a miraculous plant, believed the pagans, and
it had healing powers. The mistletoe branch symbolized the pagan
god, Tammuz, the Saviour. This celestial plant symbolized the reconciliation of the divine with man and was thought to bring together
the heaven and earth; though the tree is rooted in an earthly tree
it doesn't touch the ground. The mistletoe was associated with fire,
maybe because it turns yellow when it withers and thus is known as
"The Golden Bough."
The Romans accepted the mistletoe as the symbol of peace
and enemies declared truce under it. Holy mistletoe and ivy were
considered the symbols of fertility. After many years of struggle, the
mistletoe was ceremoniously carried into the church and the heathen
plant was pardoned and accepted in the church at the higher altar.
The mistletoe gained a new religious significance in Christmas:
The mistletoe bough at our Christmas board
Shall hang, to the honor of Christ the Lord:
For He is the evergreen tree of Life ...
The Winter Solstice
In a Norse legend, the kissing under the mistletoe is related to
the story of the death of Balder who had a forewarning of death. His
mother Frigga prayed to every element of nature not to harm him
NOVEMBERIDECEMBER2007

AMERICAN

A:rnElST

11

but forgot the mistletoe. The evil-god Loki took this opportunity and
gave an arrow made of mistletoe to the winter-god. The blind wintergod shot the arrow at Balder who immediately ceased to shine. After
three days he revived. At this, Frigga out of utter joy acknowledged
and bowed to the mistletoe and kissed everyone who went by it. From
this comes the custom of kissing under the mistletoe and has become
one of the relics of Christmas. This custom was also prevalent in the
Roman Saturnalia and the Babylonian rite of Mylitta.
Holly is again a pagan plant but since it has some relevance
with the life of Christ it is holy even for the Christians. One legend
says that Christ's crown of thorns was made of holly leaves and the
red-berries were the drops of blood.
Oak was also used for Yule log. Yule log was introduced by
the Germanic tribes as part of the Winter Solstice. Thor, the god of
thunder, was annually greeted with the feast of jul, where a great fire
was kindled. From "[ul" comes the present-day "Yule," "Yuletide,"
and "Yule-log." A trunk of the tree especially of an oak or pine tree
was selected as the Yule log. As oak was sacred for the Druids so was
pine for the Germans. All the customs were carried on with the pine.
The pine trunk was used as the Yule log on the winter solstice and
pine branches were decorated with glittering stars and offerings to
the God.
Yule log was often known as Christbund or Christklotz among
the Christians. And many superstitions were associated with it. For
example, the people believed that the Yule log helped cows to calve
and there would be as many chickens as there are sparks Hying from
the burning log. Pieces of the burnt log were kept in the houses to
protect them against fire and lightening.
The Yule log was burnt to worship the sun to rekindle its light
and fire, induce fertility, and give life once again from its apparently
dead position and expiring light. Later, this custom was carried on to
the Christmas-eve celebration.
To our surprise, the early Christians were forbidden to imitate
this pagan custom of decking houses with evergreen Christmas trees,
but let's see what the Bible has to say about it: "Thus saith the Lord,
Learn not the way of the heathen: ... For the customs of the people
are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest; the work of the hands
of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold;
they fasten it with nails and with hammers that it move not." (jeremiah 10:2) God has clearly warned the people against following the
heathen ways of decorating trees at home.

It is said that when Christ was born the angels came down to
herald the news and sang the first carol in his praise: "Glory to God
and peace to men of goodwill." And from this comes the tradition of
singing carols. Carols are songs of praise and joy which sings of the
Nativity and all about it. Carols were first introduced in the 13th century by St.Francis of Assissi to drive away the dullness and dinginess
of the churches prevalent then. And the Miracle plays in the Middle
Ages helped to spread these carols, noels and pastorali.
Carols were sung as secular songs. They were later converted
into Christmas carols being sung in the churches, and the credit goes
to the Franciscans. After the reformation, carols were a lost tradition
till its revival in the 19th century. The Calvinists discouraged carols
and substituted metrical Psalms instead and the Puritans suppressed
carols altogether.
Sending Christmas cards, similarly, has a long tradition but
it was popularized through the novels of Charles Dickens in the
19th century. Christmas cards were commercialized especially after
the publication of Dickens' novel A Christmas Carol in 1843. Traditionally, Christmas cards have wintry landscapes depicting snowfalls.
These cards have been so widely accepted that even in countries like
Australia, Africa and South America where December is the warmest
month of the year the notion of a cold, snowy, wintry Christmas is
still prevalent. Christmas cards were sent as an expression of peace
and goodwill. Slowly, this card culture grew so popular that people
from all religions used it as a token oflove and to renew old acquaintances.
By what authorities do the Christians claim Christmas to be
their festival? By all means, let Christians celebrate Christmas in any
way they like. But they have no monopoly on the festive season because every Christmas custom has a pagan past. The mistletoe was the
sacred plant of the Druids. The burning of Yule log was practiced by
the Teutonics and the sacred oak tree, revered by the worshippers of
the Norse god Odin, was the predecessor of the Christmas tree.

Sources
Condon, R.]. Our Pagan Christmas. London: National Secular Society, 1974.
Dawson, w.P. Christmas: Its Origins and Associations. London, 1902.
Keliner, K.A.H. Heortology: A History of the Christian Festivals from their
Origin to the Present Day. London, 1908.
Wieser, Francis X. Handbook of Christian Feasts and Customs. New York:
Harcourt, Brace & Co., 1952.
- - - Religious Customs in the Family. College Ville, Minn., 1956.

The Eucharist Feast of Aztecs

The Christians borrowed another system from the Aztecs
which became their custom. The Eucharist Feast comes from the Aztecs who had a similar peculiar New Year feast. They used to prepare
a huge fruit cake with the blood of the children they sacrificed, in the
shape of a man representing the Sun God.
Even lighting candles was slowly adopted as a Christian custom. Candle lighting was customary at the Jewish feast of Hanukkah.
But again, long before this tradition, the candles were a part of the
rituals of the pagan sun-worshippers. Sun and the cosmic bodies symbolized light and light means life and wisdom. So the pagans lighted
candles to glorify their gods.
Christians light candles to expressjoy. From Ireland, it spread to
America, where candles guided the priests to homes to conduct Mass, at
the time of religious suppression. In Norway huge candles were lighted
and guarded continuously to prevent it from dying out on Christmas
Eve, for it was considered an ill omen if the fire goes out.
12

AMEiuCANAnfEIST-

NOVEMBERiDECEMBER2007

Dr. Sthitaprajna teachesBusiness Communication at the Institute

of Technical Education and Research, SOA University, Bhubaneswar.
She has done her PhD in comparative aestheticsfrom the M5. University of Baroda, India. She was
invited by the Freethinkers' Association of Berlin on a youth exchange program. Besides her book
on Parables of Jesus and Buddha:
Exegesisand Anomaly and Christmas: Fact or Fiction, her articles
have been published in various
national journals. At present she is
working on herpost-doctoral dissertation on "The Twentieth-Century
Freethought Literature of America
and India." She can be reached at
sthitaprajna@rediffmail.com

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CAR

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.9l ~~~:=~"!:::!~=:;~!O:;:::':l!g~:
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ANativity
Potpourri
by Frank R. Zindler
Reprintedfrom THE PROBING MIND, Frank R. Zindler
December 1986

The Births Of The Messiah

he oldest of the gospels, the Gospel of Mark, knows almost nothing of the ancestry, birth, or childhood of Jesus. It knows nothing of any Joseph, the carpenter father
of the would-be Messiah, and only once mentions that
Jesus' mother was reported to be named Mary [Mark 6:3]. Neither
does the latest of the gospels, John's, * in which Jesus practically falls
out of the sky fully formed, seem to know much about his human
origins. Although Jesus is said to have had a father named Joseph
and an un-named mother, as well as brothers, John is more concerned with proving the divine and eternal existence of Jesus than
to give him a human biography. Only the gospels of Matthew and
Luke (among the "canonical" gospels) have given Jesus ancestries
and childhoods. Why is this?
At the time Mark was written, it was still supposed that the
end of the world was near, and that any day Jesus would return trailing clouds of glory. There was no need for biography, only a need to
heed the warning, "Be alert, be wakeful. You do not know when the
moment comes ... you do not know when the master of the house is
coming ... Keep awake." [Mark 13:33-37]
By the time the authors of Matthew and Luke got around
to writing their own gospels - even though they plagiarized most
of the gospel of Mark, including the passages indicating the world
would soon end - it had become embarrassingly clear that the
world had NOT ended, and that Christians might be in for a long
wait. Now evidence was needed to show that this prophet so tardy
in returning really had been the Messiah, the Christ - "the anointed one" - for whom everybody had been waiting. More urgently,
evidence was needed to encourage people to continue to wait. "Evidence" had to be added to flesh out the gospel skeleton provided by
Mark. For this purpose, both the genealogies and the birth stories
were created - partly out of thin air, and partly out of the pagan
and Jewish mythologies which so permeated the Greco-Roman empire of which Matthew and Luke were a part.
* For the sakeof simplicity,I shall referto "Matthew,Mark, Luke,and John"
as if they were real authors of the gospelswhich belatedlycame to bear their
names. In point of fact, there is no evidenceto support the notion that any
gospelwaswritten by a man bearingthe superscribed.name.To the contrary,
it is evident rhat all of the gospelsare composite creations, the composition
of each involvingseveralauthors and editors.

The most critical need was for a genealogy proving that Jesus
was of the lineage of David, since it was widely believed that the
Messiah would be a descendent of the lascivious, bisexual king. So
the genealogies were the first additions to be forged and added to
the Markan account. Although both Matthew and Luke had copies
of Mark's gospel, they did not know of each other's efforts. Fortunately for those of us who value truth, they were unable to conspire
with each other to invent a consistent genealogy, and the genealogies they forged contradict each other almost totally - making it
now obvious that both authors were liars. [See the accompanying
sidebar "No Contradictions Here?"]
Despite the contradictions, the rwo Davidic genealogies did
their job for a while. But rather soon it was not enough to prove that
Jesus had been the Messiah - especially since his career had been
such a fizzle. It became necessary to prove that Jesus had been a god.
This required the addition of extra miracles, fulfilled prophecies,
and legends to the basic story told by Mark and the first editions of
Matthew and Luke. Some problems had to be solved, however.
In the ancient world, anybody who was anybody - even
mortals - supposedly had been born of a virgin. Not only the
Egyptian Horus, the Greek Dionysus, Buddha, and the Persian sungod Mithra - so popular in the Roman Empire at the time of the
evangelists - had been born of virgins; even Alexander the Great
and Julius Caesar were believed to have lacked human paternity!

Jesus the Twelve-year-old

IF ISAIAH ACTUAllY HAD JESUSin mind when he prophesied
that people wo:uld "call his name Emmanuel," we are forced
to conclude that Isaiah was wrong. Jesus was never called Emmanuel. But then he wasn't called Jesus either - at least not
after he was about three or four years old. Although none of
the gospels record the fact, it is certain beyond question that
Jesus almost always was referred to by appellations such as "the
twelve-year-old,' or "the twenty-two-year-old.'
This curious fact derives from the circumstance that
Herod, King of the Great State, of Wickedness when Jesus was
born, had all the kids of Jesus' age killed, for fear that one of
them would become the "King of the Jews," as had been falsely
predicted by certain "wise men" and prophets. Jesus happened
to escape the massacre because he and his parents were on a
vacation in Egypt checking out some Delta investment acreage
and time-shares. They didn't get back to Palestine until all the
funerals were over and Herod himself had died.
When Mary tried to enroll Jesus in kindergarten at the
Caesar Augustus Playtime Academy; the principal of the school
was completely stymied. "A five-year-old!" he exclaimed. "We
don't have any other five-year-olds this year, and we can't waste
a whole classroom on one kid. You'll have to put him in first
grade with the six-year-olds."
And so, all through the first grade Jesus was known as
"the five-year-old" - the only one in the whole country. the
next year, when all his other classmates had turned seven, Jesus
became known as "the six-year-old." And so it went. Year after
year, his name changed to reflect his age and his uniqueness.
Considering that he never had any playmates his same
age, is it any wonder that the thirty-three-year-old came to a
bad end?

NOVEMBElVmCEMBER2007

AMERlCANArnEISf

21

turies ago, by Thomas Paine, one of the non-Christian Fathers of

So a virgin-birth story was made up for Jesus. The only problem,
our
Republic. Paine's analysis was published as Part III of The Age
however, was the fact that a virginal birth of Jesus vitiated the genealogies which had previously been concocted. For the genealogies to of Reason and was titled, appropriately, Examination of the Prophehave force, Jesus had to be the biological son of Joseph, the biologicies. Just try to find it in your neighborhood library! [Copies of my
cal son of Jacob (or Heli, take your pick!), and so on back to David.
annotated edition of Paine's Part III of The Age of Reason can be
But if Jesus had been born of a virgin, since both of the genealogies
purchased from the American Atheist Web-site <www.atheists.org>.
in the New Testament (NT) are genealogies of Joseph, it follows ISBN 0-910309-70-1 $15.00]
that the genealogies could no longer prove the Davidic descent of
The first alleged O'T prophecy of Jesus that I wish to consider is in Matt. 2:23. After claiming that Jesus and his family returned
Jesus, if Jesus were not the son of Joseph. What to do?
The smartest thing to have done would have been to remove
from Egypt to Nazareth instead of Bethlehem, Matthew comments,
the genealogies. But there were too many copies floating around to "this was to fulfill the words spoken through the prophet: 'He shall
be called a Nazarene."
be able to get away with that. In fact, the oldest Syriac manuscript
Unfortunately for our evangelist, there is no such prophecy
we have of Matthew says plainly that Joseph begat Jesus. So the
mythologists had to content themselves with rewording the gene- to be found in the entire O'I. In fact, the village of Nazareth is
completely unknown before the writing of the NT. Now you might
alogies at the critical points to imply a virginal origin of Jesus, and
hope that no one would. notice that the remainders of the genethink that this would be very embarrassing to theologians and the
alogies were now "inoperative"
".....------~---~~-------~--~---------~~-~
- to borrow a term from RichNo Contradictions Here?
ard Nixon.
Thus, verse 16 in ChapTHE GENEALOGIES
OFJESUSin Matthew and Luke compared [adapted from Raymond E. Brown,
ter 1 of Matthew reads, in one
The Birth of the Messsiah]
of the oldest surviving manuFundamentalists claim that there is no contradiction between these two genealogies! Those
scripts (the Codex Sinaiticus Syrwho are capable of reading try to argue that the genealogy in Luke is really that of Mary. For an
iacus), "Jacob [was the father]
answer to that argument, see the sidebar "Jesus the Son-in-law."
of Joseph, and Joseph, to whom
Asterisks indicate names missing in some versions, manuscripts, or citations of Luke.
Mary, a virgin, was betrothed,
was the father of Jesus." This
was later changed in a number
of different ways, but the most
commonly used Greek manuscript reads, "Jacob [was the father] of Joseph, the husband of
Mary, who gave birth to Jesus
called Messiah."
So it was that Jesus came
to possess the distinction needed in order to receive the Good
Universe-Keeping Seal of Approval: a virgin birth. That the
Josephan genealogies are wholly
irrelevant if Jesus is not the biological son of joseph seems to be
noticed only by heretics.
Prophecies Of Jesus?
In the nativity fictions as
elsewhere in the gospel stories,
the evangelists sought to bolster
their defense of the messiahship
and divinity of their client by
showing that he was the fulfillment of various Old Testament
(O'T) prophecies. Since space
allows us only to touch upon
this interesting facet of our
story, we wish to remind readers
of the fact that a very detailed
and devastating analysis of these
"prophecies" was done two cen22

AMERICANAnmsr

NOVEMBERIDECEMBER2007

Luke
1. Jesus
2. Joseph
3. Heli
4. Matthat"
5. Levi*
6. Melchi
7. Jannai
8. Joseph
9. Mattathias*
10. Amos"
11. Nahum
12. Hesli
13. Naggai
14. Maath*
15. Mattathias
16. Semein
17. Josech
18. Joda
19. Joanan
20. Rhesa
21. Zerubbabel
22. Shealtiel.
23. Neri
24. Melchi
25. Addi
26. Cosam
27. Elmadam
28. Er

Matthew
1. Jesus
2. Joseph
.3. Jacob
.4. Matthan
5. Eleazar
6. Eliud
7. Achim
8. Zadok
9. Azor
10. Eliakim
11. Abiud
12. Zerubbabel
13. Shealtiel
14. Jechoniah
15. Josiah
16. Amos
17. Manasseh
18. Hezekiah
19. Ahaz
20. jotham
21. Uzziah
22. Joram
23. Jehoshaphat
24. Asaph
25. Abijah
26. Rehoboam
27. Solomon

29. Joshua
30. Eliezer
31. Jorim
32. Matthar"
33. Levi*
34. Simeon
35. Judah
36. Joseph
37. Jonam
38. Eliakim
39. Melea*
40. Menna*
41. Mattathan
42. Nathan
43. David
44. Jesse
45. abed
46. Boaz
47. Salmon
48. Nahshon
49. Amminadab*
50. Admin*
51. Arni*
52. Hezron
53. Perez
54. Judah
55. Jacob
56. Isaac
57 Abraham

28.
29.
30.
.31.
32.
33.
.34.
35.
.36.
.37.
38.
39.

David
Jesse
abed
Boaz
Salmon
Nahshon
Amminadab
Aram
Hezron
Perez
Judah
Jacob

.40. Isaac
.41. Abraham

Luke's list continues back for a mystical total of 77 generations, to Adam, who in turn is
the "son of GOO.."Matthew claims there were three sets of 14 generations in his genealogy from
Abraham to Jesus, but lists only 41 names!

makers of bibles. But in fact, such inconveniences don't seem to

faze them at all. In the margin of my King James bible, right beside
Matthew's Nazarene pseudo quotation, is a reference to Judges 13:5
- allegedly the source of the quote.
Turning to Judges Chapter 13, what do we find? Do we find
anything about Nazareth? Do we find anything about a Messiah? Do
we find anything at all referring to the time of Jesus? You guessed it!
The answer is "no"! We do, however, find a prophecy addressed to
the barren wife of a guy named Manoah, telling her that despite her
sterility, she is going to become the mother of Samson. The passage
reads, "You will conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall
touch his head, for the boy is to be a nazirite consecrated to God
from the day of his birth."
Our evangelist either did not know that the Hebrew word
nazir was unrelated to the Aramaic-Greek place-name Nazara or
Nazareth, or he was dishonestly trying to fool his readers. A nazirite
is merely a hippy-type ascetic - devoted to god and the avoidance

Jesus the Son-in-law

WHEN THETWOGENEALOGIES
of Jesus were fabricated by the
authors of Matthew and Luke, the mythmakers contradicted
each other almost totally, but did agree in one thing: Namely,
they both traced Jesus' lineage through Joseph, even though
one says Joseph's father was named Jacob and the other says
Heli.
For centuries the churches have lied about these contradictions and have taught that the genealogy in Luke is actually that of Mary, and hat what the text really means to say is
that Joseph was the son-in-law of Heli. There is, of course, no
evidence for this whatsoever. The text in English reads simply:
"Joseph, son of Heli, son of Matrhat, son of Levi," and so on.
Now both the Hebrew and Greek languages have perfectly good words for "son-in-law" and surely would have used
them if that is what they had intended. Furthermore, the only
time the name Heli is mentioned in the entire Bible is here in
Luke 3, verse 23. So apologists can't cite other texts to support
the notion that Joseph was really Heli's son-in-law, or that the
Greek word huios used here doesn't really mean "son."
But there is a funny side to this attempted imposture to
save the inerrancy of scripture. When one consults the Greek
text inself, one discovers that the word "son" is used only once
in the entire genealogy! That is to say,when we read in English
"A, son of B, son of C," and so on> the Greek text actually
reads "A, son ofB of C ofD," ere, The idea "son of" is sort of
dittoed, so that whatever the Greek word huios is supposed to
mean, its meaning is to be dittoed all the way through to the end
of the genealogy.Applying the so-called logic of the apologists
to the case, we would find that Adam was Jehovah's son-inlaw, not his son! And since the word they say actually means
"son-in-law" is printed out only once - when describing the
relationship between Jesus and Joseph - we would have to
conclude that Jesus was actually the son-in-law of Joseph! We
never even knew that Joseph had a daughter, let alone that
Jesus had married her. If Jesus really did marry a woman, he
couldn't have been born of a virgin. Due to chromosomal details in mammals, only females can result from virgin births
(parthenogenesis).

of alcohol and personal hygiene. A nazirite is not the same thing as

a Nazarene.
Perhaps the best known but most misunderstood OT prooftext claimed to be a prediction of Jesus and his virgin birth is the
passage in Isaiah, Chapter 7, verse 14. According to Matt. 1:23,
Isaiah is supposed to have said, "Behold, a virgin shall be with child,
and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel." But when we turn to the Hebrew text ofIsaiah 7: 14, we find a
somewhat different reading:
Behold, the young girl [no specification of virginity] is
with child, and will give birth to a son, and she will call
his name Emmanuel. [my translation]
The differences are striking. Whereas Matthew has the term
"virgin," meaning a woman who has never had sexual intercourse,
the Hebrew has the word alma - a word which simply means a
young woman. Hebrew has a word for virgin - bethulah - and
Isaiah would certainly have used it if "virgin" is what he meant.
But far more important than the difference in the type of woman
involved is the verb in the sentence. Matthew reads Isaiah with a
future verb, as though Isaiah is predicting the distant future. But
Isaiah tells us the young girl is already pregnant. If Jesus is the babe
in question, this is the longest pregnancy in history, and the really
miraculous part of the nativity story has been overlooked for nearly
two millennia!
We may note a disagreement also as to just who it is that will
do the Emmanuel-calling: In Matthew we read "they will call his
name Emmanuel," as though it is something that undefined people
in the future will do. But in Isaiah the Hebrew reads "she will call"
- meaning the mother of the child. Since Mary did not name her
baby Emmanuel, we see how irrelevant this prophecy is to the case
of Jesus. Moreover, no one in the NT ever refers to Jesus as "Emmanuel." The only occurrence of the word in the entire NT is right
here, in this misquotation from Isaiah.
Finally, we may note that Isaiah's prophecy is aimed at King
Ahaz, who is told that before the child Emmanuel grows up, "desolation will come upon the land before whose two kings you cower
now." [New English Bible (NEB)] There is no hint whatsoever that
events hundreds of years in the future are being predicted. The
whole Geschmutz deals with Ahaz, King of Judah, and the mess he
was in. No Jesus or Messiah is to be found either in the vocabulary
or the context.
Bethlehem And The Roman Census
Having seen how the genealogies of Jesus came to be invented and how the authors of Luke and Matthew twisted OT passages
into prophecies of Jesus, we proceed to the question of why Jesus
was made to have his debut in Bethlehem.
Because it was supposed that the Messiah would be a descendant of David, it was natural for the evangelists to search the
scriptures to hunt for Davidic details which they could use in support of the case of Jesus. That they would have to grasp at straws
should not surprise us, but what does surprise us is the fact that
some incredibly shaky reeds have served the Christian apologists so
well over the centuries.
Long before the time of the evangelists, a village known as
Bethlehem in Judaea had been known as the place where the legendary King David had been born. So it was only to be expected
NOVEMBEIVDECEMBER2007

AMEluCANAnruSt

23

Follow That Star!

Adapted from a Christmas Dial-an-Atheist message.
WE ARECOMING,ONCEAGAIN,unto the silliest season of the
ecclesiastical year - the season when preachers begin to read
aloud the birth legends in the gospels of Matthew and Luke
which purport to tell of the miraculous birth ofJesus.
It is interesting that the oldest of the gospels, Mark,
knows nothing of those legends, and it was only later - after
the fish story had grown with the retelling - that Matthew
and Luke were written, with their contradictory versions of
the genealogy and birth of Jesus.
In chapter 1 of Matthew, we begin with an imaginary
genealogy - totally at odds with the one in the third chapter of
Luke, and grouping the generations into what it claims are three
groups of 14 generations between Abraham and Jesus Christ.
Unfortunately, the author doesn't count very well, since only
41 generations are named between Abraham and Jesus, and
there is no way to make 3 x 14 = 41 !We then read the myth
of the virgin birth and are told that a supposedly unfulfilled
prophecy - that a virgin whall conceive and have a son named
Emmanuelis actually fulfilled in Jesus, a guy who never was
called Emmanuel! We then proceed to the wonderful story of
the Magi, or astrologers, who come from the East to Herod,
seeking the "King of the Jews." Matthew 2:9 reads:
The star which they [the astrologers]had seenat its
rising went ahead of them until it stopped above
the place where the child lay.
This following-the-star story is the most delightfully
mad fairy tale known to me. How does one follow a star,
anyway? If you start to follow a star, such as described here,
shortly after its rising you will begin to head east (after all, it
is said to have risen in the east). Thus, the Magi would have
begun to head back home to Iran. By midnight, however, the
star would have been south of our wise guys and the Magi
would have been heading toward Saudi Arabia or the Persian
Gulf. As the night wore on toward morning, they would head
westward toward the Mediterranean Sea. With the beginning
of a new night of travel, this Mad-Hatter behavior would replay again, the path of our unwise men describing a series
of curlicues on the earth's surface. Depending upon how fast
they walked, how regular their rate, the absolute sizes of these
curlicues would differ greatly, and the final destinations would
be incredibly different.
Even allowing for the miraculous stopping of the star
over the nativity scene - an impossibility of literally astronomical dimensions - how would the wise men know which
house was under it? Every time they carne to a house apparently under the star, if they walked around to the other side of
the house, they would find the star apparently had moved to
be over the next house, and so on! If there are any true believers reading this message. Tonight go out and try to follow a
star - any star except the North Star. See where it gets you.
On second thought, don't exclude the North Star. Go
for it! When you get to Santa Claus' house, give my regards
to the elves.

24

AMEuCAN

ArnIIST

NOVEMBERiDECEMBER2007

that apologists should try to find a tie-in between Bethlehem and

the Messiah to come. As Matthew searched the (bull)rushes of
scripture, he found a weak reed in the Book of Micah:
But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, small as you are to be
among Judah's clans, out of you shall comeforth a governor for Israel... [Micah 5:21; NEB]
Unfortunately for Matthew, Micah was not referring to a
city, but rather to a tribe or clan descended from a guy named Bethlehem. In I Chronicles 4:4 we learn that Bethlehem was the son of
Hur by his wife Ephrathah. Although the context of Micah 5 gives
no indication that a distant future is being predicted, Matthew took
the passage, changed Bethlehem Ephrathah into Bethlehem in judaea (thus making it a city instead of a person), added part of a
passage from II Samuel 5:2, and came up with:
For thus it is written by the prophet: "And you, 0 Bethlehem in the land ofJudah, are by no means least among
the rulers of Judah; for from you will comeforth a ruler
who will shepherd my people Israel." [Matt. 2:5-6]
Thus biographies ofJesus came to be fabricated in which the
would-be savior was born in Bethlehem. Matthew [2: 11] takes care
of this in straight-forward manner, having Jesus born in a house in
Bethlehem, as though that is where his parents lived. Luke, however, seems to have heard a tradition that Joseph had been living in
Nazareth in the northern kingdom of Galilee, and so he has to contrive an incredibly wacky story to have Jesus be born in Bethlehem
in satisfaction of the pseudoprophecy in Micah. In order to move
Joseph and Mary from Nazareth to Bethlehem, Luke turns the entire Roman Empire upside-down. In Luke Chapter 2 we read:
In those days a decree was issued by the Emperor Augustus for a registration to be made throughout the Roman
world. This was the first registration of its kind; it took
place when Quirinius was governor of Syria. For this
purpose everyone made his way to his own town; and so
Joseph went up to Judaea from the town of Nazareth in
Galilee, to registerat the city of David, called Bethlehem,
because he was of the house of David by descent; and
with him went Mary who was betrothed to him. She was
expecting a child ... [Luke 2:1-5; NEB]
In contrast to the legend in Matthew, Luke has Jesus born in
a stable and laid in a manger, and there is no hint that Joseph had
a house of his own in Bethlehem. In fact, we are told that there was
no room for the holy family in the inn - a detail which would be
quite irrelevant if Matthew's version were correct.
Luke's deception would have been more successful had his
knowledge of Roman history been less defective. Although Augustus ruled from 44 or 42 BCE until 14 CE, there is no record of
any empire-wide census ever having taken place. While Quirinius,
as governor of Syria, did conduct a census, it was in the years 6-7
CE - 10 or 11 years after the death of Herod. It will be recalled
that Herod supposedly still was king of Judaea at the time of Jesus'
birth, and he allegedly ordered a slaughter of all boys two years
old or under. [See accompanying sidebar "Jesus The Twelve-YearOld"] Apart from the minor difficulty that Herod never did any
such thing - his biographers would have just loved to have added

one more sin to Herod's catalog - there is the problem that Herod
died in the year 4 BCE. So Jesus could hardly have been born both
in the reign of Herod and at the time of the Census of Quirinius
in 6-7 CE!
There is another minor problem. Although Quirinius did
conduct a census, it was a census of Judaea, not Galilee, and there
would have been no reason for Joseph to go from one jurisdiction
to the other. He could have stayed in Nazareth - assuming of
course that there was a Nazareth at the time. Although we have
archeological evidence of Stone-Age and Bronze-Age occupation at
modern-day Nazareth, and of occupation from the second century
on, no certain archeological evidence has yet been found to show
that there was a city called Nazareth in the year 1 CEo No building
of any kind datable to the first centuries BCE or CE has ever been
found at "Nazareth."
As if all this were not bad enough, an Israeli archaeologist by
the name of Aviram Oshri - writing in the 2005 November/December issue of the journal Archaeology ("Where was Jesus Really
Born?" pp. 42-45) has discovered that the city now identified as
Bethlehem in Judaea was not inhabited during the Herodian period
when Jesus is supposed to have been born!
We conclude this critique of the nativity tale in Luke by noting that the Romans were not excessivelystupid people, and would
never have ordered anything so insane as a census which required
every man to return to his ancestral city. The Empire would have
fallen apart if, in the primitive state of contemporary transport,
Spaniards had to return from Egypt, people at the Indian frontier
had to return to North Africa, ete. There is absolutely no extrabiblical scrap of evidence to support such a hare-brained practice.
It is sometimes claimed that an ancient papyrus (Lond. 904,
20f) describes such a census. What that papyrus actually describes,
however, is a so-called kata oikian census conducted in Egypt in the
year 104 CEo In that census, according to Raymond E. Brown [The
Birth of the Messiah, Doubleday, 1977, p. 549]' temporary dwellers in various towns had to return to the cities in which they had
their regular domiciles in order to be registered. The census does
not appear to have extended beyond the borders of Egypt. There is
nothing in that papyrus or elsewhere to make one conclude that the
author of Luke knew what he was writing about or that he wrote
truly.
Careful study of the nativity tales in the gospels makes it
evident beyond question by objective scholars that the stories of the
birth of Jesus are on no firmer foundation than those told about
Horus or Buddha. Persons wishing to understand the origins of the
Christ Myth might do well to examine the way in which the myth
of the "childhood" of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has developed in our own times.

Frank R. Zindler is the managing editor of American Atheists

Press and the author of The Jesus
the Jews Never Knew, a book
that argues that the ancient Jews
never heard of Jesus of Nazareth.
In fact, they had never heard of
Nazareth either. Formerly a professor of biology and geology, for
many years now he has worked as
a linguist and science writer. He
can be reached at editor@atheists

Identical Mistakes
by Lloyd Foster
You have probably never seen issues of religion or race in this
light before. Never looked at politics, corporate life or the
threat of terrorism from such a unique angle either. And just
in case you are thinking that this is a collection of boring essays by a disturbed academic... This is a novel! A mystery
novel, no less.A bona fide mystery that will keep you guessing
to the very last page.
Go out and grab a copy.
You will see.
Available on amazon.com
(Not available from American Atheists.)

representin

YO

8/20 8/22 -

9/5 9/7 -

9/12 -

9/13 -

9/18 -

9/26 9/27 -

Ellen Johnson gave an interview to the Washington

Post on the GAMPAC
Ellen Johnson gave an interview for the Altoona
Mirror in Pennsylvania over the anonymous excising
of a 6 foot tall Christian cross roadside memorial.
Ellen Johnson was interviewed by Cybernews on a
talk given by Bill Murray.
Texas State Director, Joe Zamecki gave interviews
to the following media on or at the rally for StateChurch Separation in Austin, Texas held on Sept. 8:
KTRHNews Radio in Houston
WOAI Radio in San Antonio
Univerity ofTexas Austin's DailyTexan Newspaper
Family News in Focus.com
Rational Response Squad Online Program
KLRUPBSTV 9 in Austin
KEYECBSTV 42 in Austin
Austin News 8 TV
Austin-American Statesman Newspaper
Dave Silverman gave an interview with HeadOn RadioaboutKathyGriffin'scensoredEmmyAwards
comments.
AA was quoted in The Christian Post over our press
release on the censorship of Kathy Griffin at the
Emmy Awards.
Ellen Johnson gave an interview to Religion News
Service on the censorship of Kathy Griffin at the
Emmy Awards.
Ellen Johnson participated in an "Ask A Skeptic"
panel discussion at the University of Pennsylvania.
Ellen Johnson participated
a roundtable
on
"Religion in the Workforce" sponsored by Diversity,
Ine. Magazine.

NOVEMBERIDECEMBER2007

AMERiCANAnmsr

25

Duderonomy:
That's Just, Like,
Your Opinion, Man.
by Cathleen Falsani

bide.

It means to wait for something, patiently.

Or "to endure without
yielding, to accept without objection," according to the official word-definers at Merriam- Webster.
Abiding is no easy feat, especially not
in a culture that is success-driven, instantgratification-oriented,
and pathologically
impatient.
True abiding is a spiritual gift, mastered only, it would seem, by the more fully
evolved among us.
Perhaps that's what makes the Dude
so dang appealing. Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski is the central character of the 1998 Coen
brothers' masterpiece "The Big Lebowski,"
and apart from spawning a cult following
rivaled only by the "Rocky Horror Picture
Show" and "This Is Spinal Tap," the Dude is
the catalyst for a new religion: Dudeism.
Maybe religion isn't really the correct
word. Like-minded followers of the way of
the Dude might be more appropriate. Or,
as the creator of Dudeism.com puts it, "The
Church of the Latter-day Dude," complete
with Dudeist priests. (I got ordained as a
Dudeist online earlier this week in less than
a minute. Now I can preside at Dudeist weddings, which is a nice fallback if this journalism thing doesn't work out.)
"Life is short and complicated and nobody knows what to do about it. So don't do
anything about it," the explanation of Dudeist theology-I suppose you could call it its
creed-says on Dudeism.com. "Just take it
easy, man.
Stop worrying so much whether you'll
make it into the finals. Kick back with some
friends and some oat soda and whether you
roll strikes or gutters, do your best to be
true to yourself and others-that
is to say,
abide."
In "The Big Lebowski," the Dude,
played by Jeff Bridges, is a bathrobe-wearing,
White Russian-drinking, mellow, lie-about,

26

AMERlCANAniEIST

NOVEMBERIDECEMBER2007

aging hippie philosopher/bowler/toker, He

endures physical assaults-including a swirly
in his own toilet and a marmot tossed into
the water during an otherwise serene bubble
bath-theft,
kidnapping and general disrespect from all quarters.
But the Dude, ya see, abides. He
doesn't answer violence with violence, or ill
will with the same. He is kind and mellow,
lazy but not lackadaisical.
Oliver Benjamin, the clever author of
Dudeism.com who could not be reached for
comment (apparently he lives part of each
year in Southeast Asia), claims the Chinese
Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu was the original
Dude because, in part, he taught the idea of
wei wu wei, or "non-doing doing."
That's the Dude in a nutshell.
"The Dude is a very genuine person,
and he is always the same person no matter
what situation he's in or who he's dealing
with," said Will Russell, self-described "cofounding dude" of Lebowski Fest, annual
events in Louisville,
Ky., and other cities that have been
drawing thousands of Lebowski fans since
2002.
"As far as abiding goes, he takes things
as they come. He keeps rolling with the
punches. They pee on his rug and he goes
and gets another rug," Russell said, referring

to one of the more unforgettable scenes in

the film. "He's just content to go bowling .
... The Dude defines his own happiness. He
endures the world around him and the world
around is going at a different pace. He's in
the middle, just hanging out."
The Dude is a pacifist.
The Dude is an idealist.
He's also something of an avatar of
simplicity for the information age whose
abiding appeal is essentially spiritual.
"It strikes me that it has something
to do with the kind of ironic appeal of this
simultaneously shallow and deep attention
to being," said Jeffrey Mahan, professor of
media and culture at the Iliff School of Theology in Denver.
"One of the things that the Dude embodies is this possibility that we really could
do this, that it's not some unattainable being,
someone who is hugely smarter than us, or
somebody who has the kind of spiritual presence of the Dalai Lama who could have this
attention to being, but that it really is a matter of choice and will. We could choose to do
this and don't."
To that end, on his Web site Benjamin provides a few tips for the would-be
faithful in a "Dudeo-Coen" version of what
he calls "Duderonorny." There are 38 laws,
including:
Thou shalt always use fresh creamer
when preparing the sacrificial beverage.
Respect everyone's point of view. It's
just, like, their opinion, man.
Never go to a tournament with a
negative attitude.
At the end of the film, The Stranger
(Sam Elliott in all his mustachioed glory),
seated at the bar of the bowling alley, offers
his condolences to the Dude on the untimely
death of his friend and asks how he's doing.
His answer? "Well, ya know, the Dude
abides."
Doesn't he, though?
"I don't know about you, but I take
comfort in that," the Stranger says.
"It's good knowin' he's out there, the
Dude, takin' her easy for all us sinners."
I second that emotion.

Copyright 2007,
The Chicago Sun times.
Reprinted by
permission of Universal
PressSyndicate.
All rights reserved

Atheist Singles
12-01-07 - 36 years old. Lives in Buffalo, NY.6'4" ta II,large
build, short dark brown hair but balding. Green eyes,cigarette smoker. Interests: Most forms of heavy metal music.
(But I'm a very decent human being who isn't a freak because I like metal music, trust me!) NHL hockey (Buffalo
Sabres),smart comedy, TV shows like American Chopper
and Mythbusters. I am a Playstation 2, but I'm not too hard
core of a gamer. Looking for attractive, tall, white woman
aged 25-45 w/same interests. All letters answered.
12-02-07 - Gay Black Female lives in New York City. I am
50+, medium build 5'5" very good health and physical
condition. I am college educated, have a great sense of
humor, and I have no children. I enjoy travel to unusual and challenging places. I am seeking a feminine gay
woman 40+, for a committed relationship. Race is unimportant character and loyalty is.I will answer all replies.

The "Atheist Singles" service is a benefit of membership in American

Atheists. It is intended to help members find that special someone.
If you are a member and wish to participate in this service, please
limit your "Atheist Singles" ad to 100 words or less. Please include
your name and postal address so we will know where to forward
your replies when they come in.
Entries should be mailed to:

Atheist Singles
P.O. Box 5733
Parsippany, NJ 07054-6733.
Members of American Atheists who wish to communicate with any
of the Atheist singles who placed ads should do the foliowing:Write
your response and place it in a stamped, self-addressed, sealed envelope. On the back of the envelope, place the notation, "A.5." and
the reference number (for example A.5. 00-05-03) of the entry to
which you are responding. Place the envelope inside another envelope, seal it, and mail it after addressing it to the Atheist Singles
address in Parsippany listed above. When your letter arrives at the
American Atheist Center, the outer envelope will be removed, the
inner envelope extracted, and the address corresponding
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reference number you wrote on it will be written on the front of
the envelope. The envelope will then be mailed forthwith.
Please
include your phone number or e-rnail address in case we have questions with your ad. American Atheists reserves the right to reject any
singles ad.

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27

news

Judge Orders
Trials in Church
Suits
by Allison Hoffinan
Associated Press Writer
SAN DIEGO, CA-When
the Roman Catholic Diocese of San Diego
filed for bankruptcy in February,
abruptly halting multiple sex-abuse
lawsuits on the eve of trial, Michael
Bang thought his chance for a:day in
court was gone.
On Friday, a federal bankruptcy
judge revived hope for Bang, ruling
that 42 cases be sent back to state
courts for immediate jury trials.
"Doing that in February really
reaffirmed to me how significant the
cover-up is," said Bang, a 46-yearold Atlanta man who says he spent
years of his boyhood as a sex slave to
a reverend monsignor. "They want
to do anything they can within the
legal system to stop it, but all it's
done is made me more committed
to telling the truth."
U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Louise
DeCarl Adler's ruling was a victory
for Bang and about 150 other people
who claim they were sexually abused
by priests as children.
Five trials out of about 127 filed
against the diocese were scheduled
to begin last spring in state court in
San Diego. Lawyers for the plaintiffs
argued that re-activating those trials
was the only way to get the diocese
to settle after more than three years
of fruitless negotiations in state and
federal courts.
"This just ratchets up the pressure on everyone to get the cases settled," said Irwin Zalkin, who represents 54 alleged victims. "Everyone
understands it could go any way in
a jury trial."
The San Diego diocese has offered about $94 million to settle the
claims as part of its bankruptcy reorganization plan. Plaintiffs' attorneys
are seeking a settlement of about
$200 million.
The judge rejected the diocese's
argument that she could return trials
to state court only under "exceptional circumstances," saying she had
broader discretion.
Even if the church were correct, "clearly this tsunami of child
sex abuse cases against the Roman

Catholic clergy would qualify as 'exceptional," Adler wrote.

Plaintiffs whose cases were not
among those remanded nonetheless
welcomed the renewed possibiliry of
trial.
"My hope is that they don't settle and we go ro trial," said Diane
Williams, a 49-year-old mother who
says she was raped as a girl by a monsignor at a church-run orphanage. "I
think these things need to get out,
but I don't think the diocese will let
that happen."
Lawyers for the diocese told the
judge Thursday that the fastest way
ro resolve the claims was for a federal
district judge to determine a fair payment instead ofletting juries consider
the sex-abuse cases one by one.
"We had hoped that the judge
would agree with us that the process the bankruptcy court had set in
place was the most expeditious way
to get these cases settled," said Susan
Boswell, an attorney representing
the diocese. "She obviously didn't
agree with us."
Adler's ruling puts the cases back
under the jurisdiction of state courts.
She will decide the order in which to
release each of the 42 cases for trial,
likely beginning with those that were
already close to being heard last spring,
said Ryan DiMaria, an attorney representing a man whose case was supposed to be the second in line.
Trials could begin in as little as
60 days, plaintiffs' attorneys said.
The Los Angeles Archdiocese
settled 508 cases for $660 million in
July, two days before jury selection was
scheduled to begin in the first of 15
trials involving 172 abuse claimants.
The Orange County diocese
agreed to settle 90 claims for $100
million in 2004 after a judge promised to set trial dates and begin the
discovery process if settlement talks
collapsed. Bishop Tod D. Brown
later said he couldn't risk a trial in a
state where a jury once awarded $30
million to two people who claimed
they were sexually abused by clergy.
Attorneys for the San Diego
diocese have argued that jury trials
would slow progress toward a settlement and may give unfair priority to
the claims of plaintiffs whose cases
went to trial first.
With nearly 1 million Catholics
and holdings throughout San Diego
County, the diocese is by far the largest

and wealthiest of the five U.S. dioceses

to have filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection under the shadow
of civil claims over sexual abuse.
Dioceses in Spokane, Wash.,
Portland, Ore., and Tucson, Ariz.,
have already emerged from Chapter
11 bankruptcy protection. The Davenport, Iowa, diocese, which faces
claims from more than 150 people,
is still in proceedings.

see the girl being dragged on her

stomach at least three times.

Polygamy
Prosecutors
See Unfinished
Business
After Bringing
Members

Christian Boot
Camp Officials
Accused of
Dragging Teen

Behind Van
Associated Press
BANQUETE,
Texas-The
director of a Christian boot camp and
an employee were arrested Friday
for allegedly dragging a 15-year-old
girl behind a van after she fell behind
the group during a morning run, authorities said.
Charles Eugene Flowers and
Stephanie Bassitt of San Antoniobased Love Demonstrated Ministries, a 32-day boot camp, were arrested on aggravated assault charges
for the alleged June 12 incident.
The two are accused of tying the
girl to the van with a rope then dragging her, according to an arrest affidavit filed Wednesday by the Nueces
County Sheriff's Department.
Both remained in Nueces County Jail late Friday on $100,000 bond
each.
A call to Love Demonstrated
Ministries was not immediately returned Friday. No listing was found
for Bassitt. An answering machine at
a listing for Flowers cut off during an
attempt to leave a message Friday.
Flowers, the camp's director, allegedly ordered Bassitt to run alongside the girl after she fell behind, the
affidavit said. When the girl stopped
running, Bassitt allegedly yelled at
her and pinned her to the ground
while Flowers tied the rope to her,
according to the affidavit.
The girl's mother gave investigators photos of her daughter's injuries
that were taken at a hospital where
the girl was treated and a sworn statement from a witness who claimed to

Attorneys

Eight Sect

To Court, Two
Say The Law Is

Coming To Polygamous

Towns

by Amanda Lee Myers

The Associated Press, Salt Lake Tribune
PHOENIX, AZ-As the criminal
trials against eight members of a
polygamous sect slowly come to an
end, the Arizona authorities who
brought them to court predict that
other practitioners will continue to
skirt the law.
"We still have people that we believe are being abused that refuse to
testify, so as long as that's happening,
we haven't finished the job," Attorney
General Terry Goddard said. "You
know a tradition of 100 years doesn't
get turned around in one or two."
The eight men were accused of
entering polygamous unions with
young girls and then fathering their
children. Authorities had hoped
their indictments would serve as a
warning to other male members of
the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter Day Saints.
But two years later, three of the
men received jail sentences ranging
from one day to nine months. One
was found not guilty and charges
were dropped against two others.
Another, Dale Barlow, was sentenced Friday to 45 days in jail for
his no-contest plea to conspiracy to
commit sexual conduct with a minor. He also was ordered to register
as a sex offender for the three years
of his probation. Under his plea
agreement, a charge of sexual conduct with a minor was dismissed.
Rodney Holm, the last of the
eight men, has yet to go on trial.
Goddard and Mohave County
Attorney Matt Smith, two of the
key players in the indictments of
the eight men, said Thursday they've
taken the first steps to bringing the
rule of law to the polygamous communities of Colorado City and nearby Hildale, Utah.

news
But they say there's still a lang
way to go..
Smith said it's hard to predict,
but it will take years to stap underage
marriage in the palygamaus towns,
and it's gat to. start in the schools,
"We've gat to have access to.
these kids," he said. "They start getting indoctrinared into these beliefs
at such an early age."
Bruce Griffen, who. represents
the eight men accused-of marrying
underage girls, said his clients feel
they are being religiously persecuted.
"There's an element af continued feeling amang my clients that
there is a gavernment effort to cause
disruption to the FLDS community," he said.
He said several of his clients have
continued to. live the lives they were
leading before they were indicted.
"These are intact families," he said.
"They continue to live together and
have multiple children and have no.
inclination of changing their family
structures. "
Flora Jessap of Phoenix, a former FLDS member who. fled the
Colorado Ciry community in 1996,
said authorities have accomplished
"nothing" to. fight child abuse.
"I think the attorney generals of
Utah and Arizona have done a very
good jab of telling us they're daing a
very good jab," said jessop, who. also.
is executive director af the Child
Protection Project, which raises
awareness about child abuse.
"What has actually been accomplished? Let's see, aut af eight indict-

ments they brought, the maximum

sentence we've received far one af
those guys is nine months .... It's absolutely too. little, it's way too. little."
Smith painted to. the arrest and
current irnprisonrnenr of FLDS
leader Warren Jeffs, who. is being
held in Utah an two. counts of rape
by accomplice and faces life terms
in prison if convicted. In Arizona,
he faces sexual misconduct charges,
which carry lesser penalties.
Bath states brought the charges
III connection
with marriages Jeffs
allegedly arranged between alder
men and teenage girls.

Turkey's New
President
Approves
Cabinet of
Islamic-oriented
by Christopher Torchia
Associated Press Writer
ISTANBUL, Turkey (AP)-Tutkey's
new president approved a Cabinet
with a mix of Islamist and secular
figures, many with reformist backgraunds that signal the Islarnic-oriented gavernment's commitment
to winning entry into the European
Union,
President Abdullah Gul, a devout
Muslim who. has pledged to. respect
the country's traditional separation
af religion and state, swiftly signed
aff an a Cabinet proposed by his old

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ally, Prime Minister Recep Tayyip

Erdogan. The 25-member Cabinet,
which includes eight new members,
has strang business credentials and
appears designed to project a moderate image.
"We will work for more freedoms and for more economic welfare," Erdagan said after Gul approved the list Wednesday. "We will
continue an Out path, with a new
enthusiasm, with.the new blond that
we have brought in. We have formed
a strong team."
Opponents have said they will
watch Gul closely for signs of cronyism at the expense of the presidency's
traditional role as a check on government. Gul, who won the presidency
in a parliamentary vote on Tuesday,
has the pawer to veto legislation and
official appointments.
Nearly four months ago, the
military-backed apposition forced
Gul to abandon an earlier bid for
the presidency because it feared he
would erode secular traditions. On
Wednesday, he was ensconced in the
presidential palace, where Erdogan
met him for an hour and a half to
discuss the new Cabinet.
One of the mast prominent
Cabinet members is A1iBabacan, the
former economy minister who. takes
over as foreign minister _ a post left
vacant when Gul was elected president. The U.S.-educated Babacan
played a pivotal role in lifting Turkey
out of recession and is an advocate of
European Union membership.
Babacan, 40, is one of the
youngest ministers in the government. He retains his role as chief
negotiator for EU membership. Babacan, who earned a business degree
at Northwestern University, acted as
steward of economic reforms that
were backed by the International
Monetary Fund.
One figure who was notably
absent from the Cabinet was Bulent
Arinc, the farmer parliament speaker
who is considered strongly religious
and less given to compromise. Arinc,
who co-founded the ruling Justice
and Development Party with Erdogan in 2001, drew the ire of secularists earlier this year by calling for the
election of a "religious" president.
Erdogan brought in at least
three ministers with no history of
involvement in the Islamic movement. They included Mehmet Sirn-

sek, a British-educated banker who

resigned from his job with Merrill
Lynch to become a state minister
with responsibiliry for the treasury
portfolio Babacan once held.
Ertugrul Gunay, appointed culture and tourism minister, joined the
ruling party after leaving the Republican People's Party, the secular opposition group that helped derail a
presidential bid by Gul in the spring.
Gunay replaced Atilla Koc, a farmer
provincial governor known for his
deeply religious background.
Another newcomer is Zafer Caglayan, appointed industry minister.
He formerly headed the chamber of
industry in Ankara, the capital.
Ugur Civelek, a prominent Turkish economist, noted that Erdogan
appointed one of his economic aides,
Nazim Ekren, to be deputy prime
minister and kept Kemal Unakitan,
who has led the privatization of state
assets, as his finance minister.
"They clearly tried to seem sympathetic to the business world and
give the message to the financial
markets that their policies will remain the same," Civelek said.
Contrary to some expectations,
the Cabinet did not feature more
women. Nimet Cubukcu, the minister in charge of women's and family affairs, remained its only female
member. Gul has said he will campaign for gender equaliry.
The approval of the Cabinet
was smooth in comparison with the
previous president's dealings with the
current government. Gul's staunchly
secular predecessor, Ahmet Necdet
Sezer, was said to have crossed aff
names an a Cabinet list and demanded that some key portfolios, including
defense and education, be reassigned.
Senior military generals did not
attend the president's swearing-in
ceremony in parliament Tuesday,
and local media interpreted their absence as a protest against Gul, their
new commander-in-chief.
But they stood at attention as
Gul entered a military medical academy Wednesday to attend a graduation ceremony. Gul's wife, who
wears an Islamic-style head scarf that
is banned on military premises, did
not attend the event.
The military, which has ousted
four governments since 1960, has
vowed to safeguard Turkish secularism.

NOVEMBERiDECEMBER2007

AMERICANAlHEISf

]9

NFL Star Thanks Jesus

After Successful Double
Homicide
by the onion-www.theonion.com
. (Humor)

CHARLESTON,SC-W~sbi.!!9!on Redskins-defensive end

D'Aundre Banks gd~allthanks
anctpraise to my personal Lord
and Savior JesusChrist~'Monday forgiving him the strength he
needed to fatally stab bouncer Isaac Edmonds and ex-girlfriend
Pamela Hamilton outside a Charleston nightclub early Sunday
morning.
"All glory to Jesus,"the 25-year-old Banks,who attended
the University of South Carolina, told reporters from his cell in
the Charleston County Jail."He is with me in this dark hour,as
He was in our devastating 14-13 playoff loss to the Buccaneers.
His love will see me through this."
According to police reports, at approximately 2:30 a.m.,
a visibly intoxicated Banks became involved in an altercation
with Edmonds regarding who would accompany Hamilton
home. When Edmonds attempted to restrainsanKs;the 288pound devout Christian produced a knife and stabbed Edmonds and Hamilton repeatedly. He then fled to the home of
girlfriend and Hooters waitress Lisa Nolan in nearby Summerville, where police arrested him several hours later.
"First off, I'd like to say'great job' to Isaacand Pamela,who
put up a heck of a fight and have nothing to be ashamed of,"
Banks said."They were terrific opponents, and it's too bad
somebody had to lose a life. But the Lord Jesus Christ was truly
with me Saturday night. He guided my hand when I was able to
make that big hit on Isaac,and I really felt His presence when I

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NOVEMBERiDECEMBER2007

stepped up and made that great slashing cut to bring Pamela

down from behind."
Added Banks:"Jesusreally let me take this homicide to the
next level.Thank you, Jesus!"
Banks,who has been charged with two counts of first-degree murder, has been a devout born-again Christian ever since
his hot-tub baptism at the hands of Philadelphia Eagles wide
receiver and ordained minister Irving Fryar during Pro Bowl
week in 19f27.
"I was a ;:;)e_ssbefOre-Jes-u>tooK.DJLhand,"
Banks said."At
SOUth Carolina, I'd show up late to practic~aterun:
ning around with the wrong crowd, all kinds of bad things. I was
about to squander the precious gift of football God blessed me
with. But through His grace, I was drafted in the fourth round
and sent to the NFL to meet Rev.Fryar,who showed me that Jesus wanted me to glorify Him and play on His team." Continued.
Banks:"D'Aundre Banks'life would be nothing without Christ's
faith. Without His peace and love, D'Aundre Banks never would
have gotten his time in the 40 down to 4.6 for the 1995 NFL
scouting combines, and he never would have had the strength
to turn a big guy like Isaac Edmonds around with just one arm
and stab him."
Jeff Rosenzweig, Banks'Miami-based agent and manager,
said his client has been unfairly represented by the media in its
coverage of the double homicide.
"All the papers are branding D'Aundre a murderer, as if
that's all there is to him," Rosenzweig said."But in their mad
rush to demonize D'Aundre, they neglect to mention his deep
dedication to the D'Aundre Banks Helps Kids Tackle Drugs For
A Loss Foundation and the Big 98 Safety In The End Zone Safe
House For Women. Or,for that matter, that he acknowledges
the workings of Christ in his everyday life. No,you don't see
any of those things mentioned in the articles about him. It's all
'homicide this' and 'seven-inch stab wound that."
Banks,whose preliminary hearing is scheduled for Feb.22
in Charleston County Court, said his fate is in Christ's hands.
"I don't know what will happen to me.That's up to the Lord,"
Banks said."The Bible tells us that nothing is done on this Earth
but that is done through God. No multimillion-dollar contract
extension, no game-saving interception, no acquittal on both
counts of first-degree murder happens without Him."

Reprinted with permission ofTHE ONION.

Copyright by ONION, INC.
www.theonion.com

Foxhole Atheist of the Month

TSgt. Darren Vick

y name is TSgt. Darren Vick. I

joined the Marines straight out
of high school, and I have been
in the military for nine years. I
started as an active duty Marine
infantryman,and after four years, when I was honorably discharged, Ijoined the Air Force reserve.
My first experience in dealing with religion
in the military came in boot camp. I was told I
could not put "Atheist" on my dog tags; instead I
had to specify "No Preference."This to me meant
that I was undecided when, in fact, I had decided
my own beliefs as a young child.
On Sundays they gave outthe schedule and
location of each service. I asked my drill instructors what we were to do if we weren't religious.
They informed me that I had better go to some
service or I would have to spend the allotted
time cleaning. Rather than performing the extra
duties, I chose the Protestant service because I
was able to hang out with a high school friend
that I had joined with. We would sit way in the
back and talk about how we were doing.
Also, nightly groups would form up in various spots in our squad bay and pray out loud. One
person in each group would be the "lay leader"
and would lead the prayer. Ifelt out of place being
a witness to this, so instead I would sit on the end
of my footlocker and write letters to family, while
they were praying to make it through the hard
times. I was asked by a few why I didn't believe,
because although people seem to understand
why you may be in another mainstream faith, to
have no faith was the equivalent of devil worship.
I would often have to explain I didn't believe in
the devil.
I was proud to be one of the few Atheists.
There were not many of us, but it is to be expected.At ages 18-20 most people still hold the beliefs
of their parents. On one occasion early on in basic
training I was called out to be in a group that was
forming up outside of our squad bay. I did not
know why and you don't ask your drill instructor
these questions. The group of us was marched to
a classroom. As we were filling in the seats I noticed that each desk had rosary beads and a small
Bible. There were also instructions on using the
rosary beads. The class did not last long but it became apparent to me that I was somehow mixed
in with the group as an "other." Later that day as
I was throwing away the plastic beads and the
small Bible since I had no use for them, another
recruit asked what I was doing and appeared to
be very upset about it. I tried to explain that this
was just plastic and paper. To him, of course this
was a huge crime, if only because he had been
told that for so long. So he kept the items, which
I thought was funny. Now he had extras of these
items. I tried to imagine how many he would have
in his footlocker if everyone but him in the room
had been an Atheist.
In the Marines I was never sent to war, because I got out just before the invasion of Iraq.
I had trained with weapons and explosives
though, and had almost been shot by accident

a few times. I never thanked god that the bullets

missed me, and I never felt I was spared by divine
intervention or any other such things.
Since I left the Marines I have been serving
in the Air Force Reserves because I wanted to still
serve and work on my retirement and I knew the
Air Force would have a better quality of life. Also
I didn't want to serve full time anymore, because
I had had enough of sleeping in dirt, mud and
rocks, and carrying all that weight made me a
disabled veteran. I have been safe in the Air Force
and am currently serving my first deployment for
them.
My civilian employment is for a company
that is mostly prior military. When I was about to
go on this deployment, a co-worker asked if I had
gone to church and made peace with my maker.
I told him that I am an Atheist. I also told him my
wife who is also an Air Force reservist would be
deploying at the same time to a different area in
Iraq. I told him my wife is a Buddhist. He asked
my wife's name and said he was going to pray
for us. Since I am non-confrontational, I did not
object which I soon regretted. I was continually
approached and invited to church, given pamphlets and told I was being prayed for even after
telling him I was an Atheist on several occasions.
I couldn't wait to be deployed just to get away
from him.
The military is all Republican-Christians. If
you are not, you will often feel out of place. Also,
since probably 90% of my civilian co-workers
back home are prior military, I generally have the
same feeling. On September 11, I was told I needed to attend a memorial service for the victims.
I asked if it was mandatory, and was told that it
was a good idea to be there, implying that I had
better be there to show my support. I would not
mind the memorial service but already knew the
schedule. There would be two separate invocations, one Protestant and one Catholic, so it would
cover most people's religious beliefs. This was an-

other example of a situation in the military where

I would be able to look around at all the heads
bowed to see who the believers were, and who
were looking back.
Every ceremony in the military has a chaplain present. It seems the chaplain has to say a
prayer at every official event. I understand it is
tradition but each year I become less tolerant of
this practice. I would like a Buddhist to lead this
just once to see the reactions of the majority. If
religion and state are supposed to be separate,
why am I in George Bush's "Christian conversion
military force"? Why do I need religion on my dog
tags? They say it is needed in order to know what
to put on my headstone, which makes it inaccurate today. Before they bury me, won't they verify
my records and consult with my next of kin? I
don't suppose if I were dying, the clergy would
see Atheist on my dog tags and just walk away. I
bet he would say a prayer regardless, if even just
in his head.
Just before this deployment my supervisor
informed me that I needed to change my records
that said Atheist. The problem was that my records, that I was able to update personally online,
said Atheist and my dog tags were marked "NoPref" just as they had in the Marines. I informed
him that I didn't need to change my records; instead I need to change my dog tags. He said that
I could not have the dog tags marked Atheist. I
now knew the rules and was old enough notto be
pushed around, so I told him "your dog tags can
say anything you want for religion." He dropped
the subject and let me make my dog tags.
Many people from my unit were fixing the
discrepancies between records and dog tags at
that time since we would be deploying soon. I
was using the dog tag machine in the basement
to make my first set in nine years that told the
truth. Just after I had finished, another person
came into the room to make his tags, and he had
it mostly figured out, but apparently he didn't
know how to start the machine so he asked me
for help. I told him he needed to finish by entering
his religion. The machine needs to have each line
erased and have the new information retyped
into each line, including religion, before it could
start. I mistakenly thought he did not change the
religion line, since it still proclaimed ATHEISTfrom
my tag. When he told me he was also an Atheist. I
was shocked, ...two in a row!
By this time a female member of our unit
had entered to make herself a pair of tags. She
was a believer and was shocked at what she overheard.1 don't remember exactly what she said but
I know it was the usual "How can you not believe
in God?" response you get from all believers. We
were able to stand up for ourselves and each other.lt was empowering to know that I had backup
in the short argument for our souls. It took a small
supply room to let the free thinkers outnumber
the believers. It felt great to know I wasn't alone
in my unit of around 100 members. So that is two
percent that I know about. Maybe there are more
who haven't come out of the religious closet.