When you want to visit the past you better build the time machine, but the

books are good as well.

And with it, the broadcast of today's events is over. I wish all of you a nice
and fruitful day, full of wonderful happenings! Reporting alive from
Sayama Park, Eto Hikari!
Kotomi-chan, fetch me another beer!
Guy who sat in the armchair of spacious apartment had twisted
moustache, thin goatee, he smelled like cheap brew and had a dirty tank
top with a pair of boxer shorts. Scent of cigarette filled the room, and even
tho apartment might have looked good at some point, now it was a total
mess.
But, Nao-san, it's your third today! You might try to mitigate it!
In her 27 year of life, Kotomi Ichinose decided to settle down.
Spending her college aboard, she studied a lot about history, space and
time, and how all of those things work. That is where she met Nao. Guy
who was acquaintance and working partner of her parents was a child
prodigy back then, and he was the one who introduced her to the line of
job which they've had.
What was that, shrew?! Talking back to me? Go and fetch me that beer
before I kick your useless face in!!
Alright, Nao-san. I apologize.
Kotomi quickly bowed her head down, running towards kitchen to
get another beer from refrigirator, which was full of beer, reason why she
was frequently hungry and had to eat elsewhere.
Nao was not always like this, tho. There was a time when he was
kind, and caring, but after they've engaged and decided to go back to
Hikarizaka, his demeanor suddenly changed. He shut himself in, drinking,
smoking, not doing anything else while Kotomi desperately tried to hold
their small family together. With the time tho, she was falling apart. She
had to work two jobs, plus her regular scientifical research and with her
needy husband, she had no time to rest.
Really, woman should learn their place. He murmured as he grabbed the
beer, popping it open to chug it down.
I'm really, really sorry. Kotomi blushed.
Nah, you're good. Now come, sit in my lap.
She also knew what that meant. By sitting in lap he meant doing
something else in lap which may have involved sitting, but it was sitting on
something else.
Nao-san! My work is starting soon! I have to get ready!
Kotomi tried to defend herself. Really, with herself being the only one who
worked in this family, she had all the responsibility. Nao was intelligent,
she knew, he should understand it! But, all of the traces of her hope
vanished as vein popped out on his forehead, pulsating as his face became
red.
What was that, shrew, eh?!
Stop it, Nao-san! I have to work!

You exist to serve me! Everything else is unimportant! You're mine!

But somebody has to buy you a beer, yeah!
He stood up in a drunken stupor, his breath smelling like alcohol and
face already being flushed red.
I will find a job by myself... I will find a life by myself... I don't need a
shrew like you! he yelled, hitting her in the face so hard that she fell
down. Unvoluntarily, Kotomi felt tears streaming down her cheeks.
Please stop, Nao-san! I'll be good, I promise! I'll do whatever you want!
It's too late! he yelled back, kicking her in the stomach and she felt like
she could throw up all of the food she ate that morning.
But I love you, Nao-chan? Why are you doing this? she sat up, brushing
her tears off as he stumbled around the flat, trying to stand straight.
Playing ignorant, eh? he was at it again, grabbing her by colar, raising
her up and she felt the collar of her beige woolen vest pressing on her
neck, choking her.
You took my life away! You took my pride as a man! I don't have anything
else! It is your fault!
But you decided to come back here!
Talking back, again!
He raised his hand up again...
*We're terribly sorry, but the text is interrupted due to the obscene scenes
of domestic violence.*
Beaten and bruised, Kotomi hid in the room in her flat, crying her
soul out. Really, Nao was a great man once, but what is left from his past
self is nothing. She blamed herself for things that have happened, because
everything started when two of them came back to Hikarizaka.
If only I could have a time machine. I would go back to the past and
change everything. I would never go back here, and Nao would remain as
he once was.
Where are you, Kotomi-chan? I'm sorry!
She heard him walking around the flat, trying to find her. He was always
like this. First he would be agressive, and as soon as he vented out he
would be back to his old self. But she was not able to tolerate it anymore.
She had enough.
She took her violin out, tuning it so she could play. It served her as a
great stress relief, altough it probably stressed everybody else.
This violin is my only love.
As soon as she said those words, she's seen the light appearing from
the corner of her room. First it had a shape of the orb, but soon that orb
took a shape of something humanoid, but she was only able to see the
shadow. Pressing the fiddle bow on the strings, she pulled it and it started
screeching so loud that everybody in the building woke up, simultaneously
smashing on the radiators to sign that she needs to tune down.
Humanoid shadow stammered, obviously holding it's ears, yelling
something which was barely audible.
What's wrong? Kotomi stopped, much to creature's joy.
Finally, finally! Seriously, who taught you to play this? You suck!
Waaah! Are you a bully?! Kotomi blushed, putting her violin down.

Ehm. I'm not a bully. I'm a fairy!

Oh, a real fairy?! Kotomi was shocked.
Yeah, are you dum.. I mean, are you the one who made a wish?
Only now she was able to actually see what's in front of her, and it
made her cringe. It was indeed a fairy, if you would judge it only by wings
and cute, pink dress. But everything else was nothing like a fairy, at all.
He, yeah he, had a pair of muscular, unshaven man legs, with a beer belly
hanging from his shirt which was too small for his size. His face obviously
belonged to man, but had a make up all over it.
What the hell? Kotomi squirmed.
I'm Okama Fairy! I appear only to the most honest ones! You are rude,
girl!
But fairies should be female.
I'm a female! My heart is that of a maiden!
I'm sorry, Okama-san. You've heard my wish?
"My name is Cherie. And might you say your esteemed name before we
continue?"
Little okama fairy bowed, waving his wand in the circular motion.
"My name is Kotomi. Ichinose Kotomi. Nice to meet you!"
"Likewise, little bubble. Cherie, which is myself, have overheard your wish
and couldn't help but interfere. You want to go back to the past, to change
that which already happened?"
"Yes! I would like that very much!"
"Alright."
As okama stood, raising his hand, he was left staying like that and
didn't budged a single bit, even when she went closer, shaking him.
Suddenly, his eyes popped open.
"This was a demo version of Okama Fairy. Full version includes: real wish,
many different clothing styles, over thousand different voices. It can be
yours for only 100 yen."
"What the hell?" Kotomi shook him, but no voice was coming from fairy
which now stood frozen.
"At least give me a number!"
"The number to dial is 123 456 789."
Kotomi grabbed her mobile phone, typing the number and for the moment,
everything was silent. And then, she heard the voice of a man, sounding
strangely feminine.
"Good day! Kammako club here, what is your wish?"
"I wish to go back to the past!"
For the few moments there was silence, and then there was a long
laugh. Kotomi was now somehow irritated. Somebody was obviously
pranking her, and she did not understood why would anybody do this.
"I'm terribly sorry, my cherry, but you've dialed okama night club. We can't
get you back in the past, but we can offer you one of our many wonderful
performers."
Kotomi could not hold it inside anymore. Feeling hopeless, she dropped the
telephone and started crying, screaming from the pain.
"My cherry! My cherry! What's wrong?" yelling was heard from the phone.
Broken, Kotomi grabbed the phone, raising her up to her cheek which was
all bloody and swollen up.

"I can't take it anymore! My spouse is a horrible, horrible person! He beats

me every day, he does not care how I feel and I do everything in order to
make our life better! I hate him! I hate him from the bottom of my heart!"
"Oh, my cherry, boys are like that. They are all brutes, without
understanding how maiden's heart works."
"I've heard for your number from some fairy which can make any wish
come true. But fairy is broken. Can you make my wish come true instead?"
For the few minutes, there was silence again, and after that there was
scream.
"Oh no, no, no no no! How did this fairy looked like, my cherry?"
"He is fat, and has a pink dress."
As soon as "guy" on the other side finished the sentence, suddenly she
heard a buzzing sound from the middle of her bedroom. Okama Fairy
suddenly started moving with robotic motion, waving his wand like crazy.
"Kill it, kill it, please! Just destroy it, my cherry! It's too dangerous!"
"But how?!"
"SMASH IT WITH CHAIR! Do something!!"
Kotomi felt a bit insecure whether should she do this or not, but the
guy on the other side seemed terrified so she took a chair. But, as soon as
she raised it up to hit the creature, it let a buzzing sound which was louder
and its jaw popped open, sucking everything inside like a black hole.
"My cherry! My cherry! Are you alright?!"
But the mobile phone got sucked inside too, and she screamed,
being unable to hold to anything. Literally everything in her room was
being sucked inside the gaping hole which were it's mouth.
"Kotomi-chan! Kotomi-chan! What the fuck is that noise?!" Nao knocked on
the locked door.
Seeing that she's either going to die or end up being shifted to
another dimension, Kotomi decided to say everything which she wanted to
say.
"Hahaha! You moron! You can't touch me from there anymore! That's what
you get! I'm being sucked in a black hole here! And you are unable to stop
me! I will never be forced to see your ugly face again! Oh yeah, and you
stink! I hate you, Nao!!"
"Kotomi... what the hell are you talking about?"
He heard a snapping noise, and suddenly everything became silent.
"Kotomi? Kotomi? KOTOMI!!!" he screamed, suddenly realizing everything
which he has done until now.
With this, first chapter is ended. Tadaa! What an interesting one, isn't it?
You ask yourself, why is Kotomi involved in Gintama fanfic? That's what I
would like to know too.