Talk 6: Making the right decisions Discipline.

Asalamualikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatahu JazakAllah khair for coming it means a lot to me.
So today Im actually going to be talking about quite a few things really, as I wanted to use todays
session as an opportunity for everybody to pitch ideas on things they wanted to hear as in future
session when I start on the basics we may not get a chance.
I wanted to remind you guys what I said in our last session about how its important that the idea of
carrying the Dawah is the important thing and not me as a person.
Ali RA: Know the truth and you will find those who follow it
This is a very profound statement, because we have many sheikhs and scholars around today who
do extremely good beneficial work for the Ummah which we should strive to do also but sometimes
due to their studying in certain institutions and not being taught islam holistically may make
incorrect statements and were all humans so we make mistakes- but one prominent figure said for
establishing Khilafah you should basically be nice to your parents and pray fajr in the mosque. And I
was so shocked because he is such a prominent figure and people will listen to this and maybe
blindly believe it someone mentioned this quote by Ali RA according to this situation and it made
me think. When you know what is the truth you will be able to differentiate from right and wrong
and see who is on the truth and who is maybe not so clear or made mistakes etc. we cant just blindly
follow personalities we have to think about what we say. But I must stress we have a high love and
respect for the scholars and teachers of the Ummah who are on the right path and speak the truth.
Now I wanted to talk about something which is absolutely fundamental for our change as average
people to in sha Allah exceptional Muslims. Now Motivation, you watch a 3 minute youtube video or
see a sad picture on your facebook news feed about the crisis the Ummah is facing and you feel
charged up for a bit and wanna make a difference, very soon your back to whatever you were doing.
Motivation will come and it will go and it will come and it will go. But what we need is the correct
mindset. Discipline is what we must work on. Discipline is not the goal, its a means to a goal.
Because believe me emotions will come into play in a funny way ive experienced this myself. One
morning you wake up early manage to get tonnes of stuff done and you have a great productive day
deen and dunya wise. Then for the next two weeks your just thinking ah crap I cant wake up early
again you keep flopping and thinking why cant I have another day like that. well truth is something
on that one productive day was there and present while on other days it wasnt, you were probably
motivated over something. Maybe lying in bed before you slept you watched a motivational or
emotional video and it was on your mind when you awoke. But we cant rely on our emotions to
dictate us like this, we have to be in control of our actions and our lives all the time.
One thing to remember is you might not feel your worth a lot. But Alhamdullilah were sitting here in
this gathering today we are the Sons of this Ummah. We carry a heavy duty on our shoulders. We
are Muslims, im not saying go out there and be your chest thinking your all hard, but remember your
someone. You are a muslim while so many others are not, Allah made you a Muslim. Theres a reason
for that. Once you have the thought, that ok im a Muslim, I have a purpose in life to worship Allah, I
see around me all these hardships and difficulties and wrongs, I know I have to make Islam the
dominant force in the world I have to play my part in that, I have to be the best I can be and take my
family friends and everyone else there. The thought, go home and think deeply tonight, I wanna live
the rest of my life as someone who fulfils his purpose, the hero of your own stories. The thought is
what will change you and I cant make you have it. You have to.

But were gonna have our off days. And ill give you an example of a great Sahaba - Kaab ibn Malik RA.
Ka'b was the son of Malik, a great poet of the tribe of Khazraj of adinah, composer of heroic poems
during the wars between the city's two famous tribes, al-Aws and al-Khazraj, which were frequent
before the advent of Islam. Ka'b inherited this talent from his father and became known for it.
Ka'b was among those who hastened to embrace Islam in Madinah. He was among the forty who
gathered for salatul-Jumuah for the first time, before even the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam,
made Hijrah. He was also among the seventy-three men who traveled from Madinah to Makkah to
pledge allegiance to the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam.
Ka'b was not only famous for his eloquence in poetry, but also he and his household were known for
their knowledge, and their narration of hadeeth. He narrated eighty ahadeeth from the Prophet
himself, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, as did his children and his wife Khayrah. He was considered
among the most knowledgeable of his people. His son Abdurrahman was one of the Muftis in
Madinah after the sahabah.
Ka'b participated in all the battles with the Prophet except two. The first was the battle of Badr. He
was not alone in staying behind for many did not anticipate any fighting, because the original
purpose of the expedition was to get back the goods that the pagan Makkans had confiscated from
the Muslims.
But his failure to join in the second battle, the battle of Tabuk, was another story. Usually, when the
Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, decides to prepare for a battle, he would keep his destination
secret. But the battle of Tabuk was not like any battle. The heat was extreme, a great distance was
to be traveled and the Muslims were to face a huge army. The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam,
made clear to the Muslims both the destination and the difficulties ahead so that they make good
preparations. What made the matters worse was that the Muslims had to leave at a time of harvest
when the fruits were ripe and the dates were hanging from palm trees waiting to be picked. O how
sweet it was to linger under the shade of the palm trees savoring the cool breeze and the sweet
fruits! Many hypocrites asked permission to stay behind, presenting different excuses. The Prophet,
sallallahu alayhe wasallam, accepted their excuses leaving their inner intention to Allah. Some others
were too old, too weak, or too poor to participate and the Prophet allowed them to stay. Ka'b was
neither of those. He was young, strong, and wealthy, and had the mount and the equipment. "I can
get ready in a wink," he said to himself. Therefore he went on to his usual business. He kept
procrastinating until he saw that people were getting really serious about the matter and the
Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, was coming and going among them. "I still can do it tomorrow
or after tomorrow," he said to himself. But many days went by and still he did nothing, until one day
he found that the army had left. He thought about hurrying up to prepare his provisions, and get his
mount to join them, but he hesitated seeing that they were quite a distance ahead. When he at last
got ready and decided to leave, he realized that there was no way to reach them in time, and so he
stayed back in Madinah. "I would walk in the streets of Madinah after the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe
wasallam, had left, and I would see only a hypocrite or a weak man who was excused. So I would
wish that I had joined the Prophet," he later said, reproaching himself for not promptly answering
the call to jihad. The days passed by slow and heavy and he could think of nothing but how to face
the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, when he would come back, and what to say to him. "When I
heard that the Prophet was coming back, my worries came back to me," Ka'b said. "I thought about
lying, to avoid his wrath. When he arrived to Madinah, he went straight to the masjid, prayed two
rak'ahs and sat down listening to the people. More than eighty men came to him apologizing for not
participating in the battle, presenting different excuses. The Prophet accepted from them, asked
forgiveness for them, and left their inner intentions to Allah. When I came to him and greeted him,
he smiled an angry smile, and said: 'Come!' I sat before him. 'What kept you behind?' he asked. 'By

Allah,' I said, 'if I were talking to other than you I would be saved from his wrath by giving an excuse
and I am an eloquent convincing man, but if I were to tell you a thing that will make you content
with me, I surely know that Allah will make you soon angry at me, and I hope by telling you the truth
that Allah will forgive me. By Allah I have no excuse! And by Allah I was never stronger nor wealthier
than when I stayed back.' 'As for this man, he has told the truth' he said, then turning to me, he said
'Get up and await Allah's decree'.
Some men from Banu Salamah reproached me for not bringing an excuse to the Prophet so that he
would ask forgiveness for me. 'Is there anyone who is experiencing the same thing as I?' I asked.
'Yes, two men who said the same as you did, and so they too are told to wait.' They mentioned two
pious men who witnessed Badr, so I found consolation in that."
The Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, forbade any Muslim to talk to Ka'b and the two others. "As
for the two men," said Ka'b, "they stayed in their houses, crying and supplicating, and as for me,
being a young tough man, I would go for salah with the Muslims and roam the market streets, and
nobody would talk to me. I would greet the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam, and wait in vain for
his lips to move. I would pray near him, and so when I would start my salah he would look at me and
when I would turn towards him he would turn away. I felt so miserable. One day I climbed the wall
of Abu Qutadah, my cousin and best friend, and greeted him with salam. He did not return my
greeting. I Asked him: 'By Allah, do you know that I love Allah and His Messenger?' 'Allah knows
best,' he replied. My eyes filled up with tears as I descended the wall and went to my house.
Another day when I was wandering in the market streets, I heard a merchant from ash-Sham asking
people about me. They pointed to my direction, and so he came to me and gave me a letter. I
opened it. It was from the king of the Ghassanids, a Christian Arab tribe. It says: 'We got news that
your friend has deserted you. Allah did not intend for you to be humiliated, so join us, we will
comfort you.' I said to myself: 'This is a test from Allah.' and I thrust the letter into the fire and
watched it burn."
Forty days have passed and people were still shunning Ka'b, until he felt the earth was closing on
him. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wasallam sent him orders that he should keep away from his
wife. "Should I divorce her?" He asked. "No, but isolate yourself, and do not touch her," he was told.
The two other men who received the same order, sent back to the Prophet asking him to let their
wives stay near them to tend for their needs, but Ka'b insisted on carrying the Prophet's order to the
letter, and so he sent his wife to her parents.
Fifty days have now passed since the incident. Then finally he heard the news, "while I was praying
Fajr that morning on the rooftop of my house," he said, "I heard a man shouting on the top of Mount
Sala ': 'O Ka'b ibn Malik, rejoice!' I fell prostrate, and I knew that relief had come. The Prophet,
sallallahu alayhe wasallam, had announced my forgiveness during salatul Fajr. People came on horse
back to bring me the news, but the man's voice on the mount has reached me first. So when I saw
that man I gave him my garment as a way to thank him, and I had only one garment. I hurried to the
Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wasallam. People came in groups to welcome me. I went right into the
masjid and found the Prophet sitting with a group of the companions. Talhah ibn Ubaydallah stood
up and came hurrying toward me. He embraced me and congratulated me. By Allah no man from
the Muhajireen came to me except him. By Allah I will always be thankful to him for it. When I
greeted the Prophet, I saw his face shining from happiness, 'Rejoice for this is the best day in your
life since your mother had you!' 'Is it from you O Messenger of Allah or from Allah?' 'No but it is from
Allah' he said."
Allah has sent revelation concerning the three companions who missed the battle: "Allah has
forgiven the Prophet, the Muhajireen, and the Ansar who followed him in the time of distress, after
the hearts of a party of them had nearly deviated, but He accepted their repentance. Certainly, He is
unto them full of Kindness, Most Merciful. And He did forgive also the three whom the Prophet left (

i.e., did not decide in their case), till for them the earth, vast as it is, was strained and their own
selves were strained to them, and they perceived that there is no fleeing from Allah, and no refuge
but with Him. Then He accepted their repentance, that they might repent unto Him. Verily, Allah is
the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful." [9:117-118]
Ka'b said to the Messenger: "O Messenger of Allah, I would like to give all my wealth as a proof of
my repentance and my gratitude to Allah." "It is better that you keep your wealth," replied the
Prophet. "Then I will only keep my part of booty from the battle of Khaybar," replied Ka'b. "Verily
Allah has saved me because of my truthfulness, so I will make it part of my repentance to speak only
the truth as long as I live." Ka'b later said: "Since that day I never wilfully said a lie, and I hope that
Allah will guard me from doing it until I die."
This story reveals the Eeman (conviction) of Ka'b who was truthful to his deen, and though he did
stumble once, he did not sway from the straight path.
There are so many lessons we can take from this story but Ill just highlight three lessons that stand
out for me.
Number One:
Shaytan will always try to tempt us and deceive us into thinking were ok to compromise the Deen
just a tiny bit but one thing leads to another and we end up making a big mistake Kab never
thought he would miss the battle completely - but he kept delaying until it was too late so we must
never compromise on the Deen even a little bit because we dont know where this will lead.
Number Two:
The best of us will stumble but when we do, we need to pick ourselves up, focus on our true
purpose in life - which is to worship Allah (swt) - and get on with it. Never give up. Never allow
depression or sadness to overcome you to distract you from Allahs Deen. Look at how difficult a
situation Kab had to get through when nobody would talk to him - complete isolation from all your
friends and family some of us are reverts so we know whats its like to be cut off from friends
but Kab was cut off by friends and family and everyone around him as well he had nobody not
even his wife and at times like this when you feel like you can only turn to Islam, even the
Messenger of Allah (saw) wouldnt speak to him alhamdulillah none of us have to face this
situation would we ever survive in this society if we had absolutely no-one to speak to at all. We all
have at least someone to speak to this is such a blessing from Allah (swt). We must be grateful for
our husbands/wives and our brothers/sisters, and alhamdulillah - we always have Allah (swt).
Number Three:
Repentence:
Never despair of the Mercy of Allah (swt) Kab could have given up after 30 days, 40 days, 50
days but he didnt how long do we struggle before we lose patience sometimes we lose
patience after just a day or two may Allah (swt) forgive us
No matter how strong we are in the Deen everyone will be tested. Allah (swt) tested Kab even
though he was steadfast from the beginning. Each one of us has our own personal test that we have
to overcome. So always repent to Allah (swt) - beg for His (swt) forgiveness
And lastly, always seek to get closer to Him because if our dispositions - our nafsiyyahs are not
strong then when the time comes we wont be able to do the right thing.
So we will have our off days but dont let it be like aghhh I have to start all over again or yknow begin
a new journey, no, you take that on board you learn from it and you keep going. Dont become
disheartened.
Now as part of discipline you need a plan. You gotta have some sort of plan for personal
development and in sha Allah we will talk about that more next week. But as we know life is life. You

cant always follow that plan or sometimes things happen your out of your comfort zone. Perhaps the
goals we have will be like a great wall we cant climb. But think of it as progressive realization. You
know were all gonna feel fear. Oh I dont know this oh I cant do that or im too nervous to do this
thing. Well, having the mindset which allows you to do all those tough things no problem is
extremely tough, have trust in Allah and just do it. Because the only way you will overcome self
doubt is by doing what you have to do courage will burn away fear and thats how you become
brave. You cant wait there thinking oh when im brave I will do this. NO. you have to BECOME brave!
In this journey of change people already have preconceptions of you. Oh, he is like this, I expect
him to fail here or, I know your uncapable. They may be shocked to hear you becoming more
practicing or saying intelligent things perhaps. Now these people are gonna be a challenge for you.
You might walk in a room wanting to be pleasing Allah and being Islamic but these people may
expect you to be a certain way and you cant fall in to what they expect you to be.
Ever notice, perhaps its early morning, your on your own, doing well being productive remembering
Allah having a pleasant mindset and expression. Then you go out to meet your family and in to the
real world, the hustle and bustle and something happens maybe someone is rude to you and you be
rude back and then you feel as if your flow of good productivity is gone and your just like ugh whats
the point. You have to get used to this, keep being that better person, there gonna come, these
haters these challenges, maybe they dont even mean you harm but some people are gonna be a
challenge, you take onboard everything think how can I benefit and better myself and perhaps this
person from this experience. Because I had a great morning I walk downstairs my mum is shouting at
me for bad grades or being late and now when I go college or work will be sad the whole day? No
you gotta learn from this! Use it, make yourself stronger. People will think who do you think you are,
you were like this and that, now all of a sudden your acting so different, people will laugh at you and
tease you, dont get disheartened, let it make you stronger. And when you advise dont be the
haram police, be very gentle and noble in your approach. Come up to someone gently like oh I
noticed you were doing this what is your reason for it dont just be like attack mode on BOOM. Do it
for the Sake of Allah. How would you like to be advised?
Another habit of a good productive person I think is using time wisely. When we are chilling or going
about our routine we might do things which are counter productive or useless really. Why not
instead of say your sitting around blasting some tunes, play a beneficial talk or Recitation from your
iphone instead of some music? Like sometimes if im shaving, I have to use that time for shaving, but
I can also have the time to gain knowledge so I have a talk playing on my phone so I can get some
tips! And make it relevant, this week I wanted to talk about discipline and bettering yourself so the
tips I heard while I was shaving the other day im using now!
I wanted to mention another topic briefly someone I have a lot of respect for actually wanted me to
bring this up so I thought I would. I wanted to mention briefly about making the right decision, you
know, our criteria for action as muslims. We have many pathways, decisions in our life and we want
to live by Allahs law and guidance. Firstly we are advised to pray istikarah, a special prayer you can
research or we can discuss in the own time (simply google it) and this prayer is for anything from
someone who comes to marry you, or what course/job to take, or even minor things in life. We
should try to do istikarah. Now the Prophet peace be upon him whenever he was faced with a
decision he would always choose to do the easiest thing as long as it was Halal. Say this yeah we
have to be very considerate of every thing we choose to do even on facebook, lets say you share a
video which has some lewdness or music, you must consider that someone could see this or hear
this and be influenced to maybe look up that artist or go into deeper music. Like with me I used to
draw a lot and found out that drawing humans is haram because you cant draw something with a

soul so I had to understand that if I have my pictures on FB or deviant art this could have a negative
repercussion. We have to always take into consideration the Quran and Sunnah in every single
consideration. Whether buying a candy bar, talking to someone, voting, waging war, no matter what
we have to remember Allah in every single action. When Allah wills a thing for us we must not think
it is against us, remember that the people most beloved to Allah are the most tested. Those who go
into prison working for the Deen, or whatever happens to them thats a test for them that Allah
loves them and wants to increase them and make them closer to Him. We may not be at there level
but we all have our own tests, remember even the pricking of a thorn expiates some sins so do not
despair.
And one more thing briefly, dealing with pain. Hardships are coming for us, this is no doubt. We will
get distracted and hurt and want to stop but all I need to give you is one simple example. The
Prophet peace be upon him went through what is known as the year of Sorrow. His Uncle who
protected him and helped him from the disbelievers died, and his beloved wife Khadijah R.A passed
away also. Yet he still strived for his mission to make Islam dominant over the world. this is evident
when he went to Taif and as you know the people turned him away and stoned him and he was
bleeding so much so the blood made his feet stick to his sandles thats the level of difficulty he
endured despite all his difficulties he kept striving and had such a good personality he had mercy
on the people of Taif. Always keep striving and always keep working hard no matter how many
horrible sad things happen to you. Look forward to the blessings of Jannah in sha Allah. You know
that feeling like say after a really hard exam or something youve been stressing over for months and
finally FINALLY its over and your so relaxed and chilled that anything new comes your way you feel
so fresh, imagine after all the tribulations of this dunya which is only the blinking of an eye you could
if Allah wills be an inhabitant of paradise in everlasting peace. Possibly getting the greatest reward,
getting to see Allah swt.

Challenge:
I want you to pick a day of the week and on this day live your life as if you are to die tomorrow, but
you prepare for the dunya as if you are to live forever. This is the attribute of a true believer. Live
that day like absolutely MAX spiritual as if literally at midnight you are going to meet your lord,
striving to be the absolute best most amazing person, but dont just stay in your room on your
prayer mat, live like the Prophet peace be upon him for those 12/14/16 hour however long your up.
Work for your studies and helping people and around the house and your career and taking care of
affairs, this is the behaviour of a true believer. Really if you were to die the next day would you sit
there playing xbox or jamming on youtube? Na. would you misbehave at home being rude? No.
would you not think ok I have a chance for dawah let me try to meet my Lord in a good state.
Try this for just one day of the week and we will meet back here in sha Allah and well discuss and
think about what that day was like for us without showing off ofc.
And then yknow what

Who says we cant live the rest of our lives like that.
If we have Taqwa and discipline.