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Happy New Year folks! ✯▼☎▼◗■☎▲■■★ ✽▲❊❘❖☎❏❙☎●❙◗▼❘❑✏☎❙☎❍▼❍☎▲■☎▼❑▲☎▲▼❘❑✆

Welcome to the Island & do not fail to go out @ night without the Rail!

Welcome to the Island & do not fail to go out @ night without the Rail
Welcome to the Island & do not fail to go out @ night without the Rail
Welcome to the Island & do not fail to go out @ night without the Rail
Welcome to the Island & do not fail to go out @ night without the Rail

Railtrail #4

Ravings Of A Diseased Mind aka I’m only serious when I’m not laughing aka

HHRBS

Blurbs

aka No Opinion, No Brain! by c james

“Government benefits should be conferred gradually; and in that way they will taste better.” – Machiavelli

The Problem with

White Straight Males ,

IS that we seem to be a dying breed with sissification bein’ all the rave with Metro-sexuals runnin’ around with their little purses and wearing guy-liner an’ trying to ID with their feminine side ever day and holy shi† what are’ya gonna do when a straight white boy that acts like one an’ likes smart, good lookin’ women with good manners but has to keep mum about it for fear of bein’ accused of spewing hate toward gay-Lez-Bi-transgendered folks and has to put up with various and sundry blah blah from loud, pissed off, home- ly, obnoxious radical feminist with mediocre mentalities which the point we hope to get to here is that if the White straight male is the big problem then we are puh-leezed to be guilty an’ if that’s not clear enough we’d like to remind you rad-fem victim-types that there are a few of us still out there that think you diz-bos have an important part to play these days as we couldn’t be recognized without you! Does anybody

know what this yokel is saying here?

Shut-Eye

Watch

Holy shi† if this dismal economy don’t get some outside help keeping the loonies in the Whitehouse in check pretty soon this year may be one mis- erably long and drawn-out mess and it’s not like most folks ain’t acting down and out already even tho’ they’re not missin’ any meals or having to sleep on the ground somewhere which the point we’re trying to make here is that Franklin’s got his knickers in a twist about how the cub reporters at the Packet tend to ignore the folks that are missin’ meals and sleepin’ on the ground ‘til another one is found dead an’ if that pisses you off too then ck out the latest on pg. 6.

if that pisses you off too then ck out the latest on pg. 6. Ravings of

Ravings of a diseased mind

Political Junkies

Ravings of a diseased mind Political Junkies U-n-i-t-e This President becomes more of an embarrassing laughing

U-n-i-t-e

This President becomes more of an embarrassing laughing matter every

day as the latest head-shaker at the global warming summit in Copenhagen had him flying back to

DC a day early because of the

strongest blizzard in years there. If

the globe is warming and creating all various and sundry natural phenome- non will someone please tell me why the World’s warmest year on record is

still 1998 and all those devastating

hurricanes and floods that were sure to double have been non-existant for

4 years running? Factoid: The average surface temperature of the planet has increased 1.33 degrees Fahrenheit between 1905 and 2005, according to numerous verifiable sources. That’s

100 years. According to the Gore fac-

tion,

melting glaciers, rising sea levels

and

erratic weather patterns means

the end of the world and something

must be done this year! Is anyone doing any thinking?

FFuullll MMoooonn RRiissiinngg

Jan 30th @ 2:11 am

l l M Mo o o o n n R Ri i s s i i

E:Mail • ESP • entre nous • Pony Express • UPS • Courier Pigeon • USPO

In The Pudding

to: railmail@hargray.com Fwd From:gailt22@

In The Pudding to: railmail@hargray.com Fwd From:gailt22@ “I got mine!” I don’t know who writes under

“I got mine!”

I don’t know who writes under the guise of Joe Sixpack but whoever it is is a ridiculous chauvenist. Portraying the Democrats as the ones responsi- ble for this economy is irresponsible and just plain air headed. You are showing your inner-selves and doing this community a disservice by pub- lishing such rot.

gailt22, correct me if we’re wrong to say that it’s no coincidence that this recession started in December-07 – one year after the Dems got controll of the House. A year later is was ditto for the Senate, the Govenors and the Whitehouse. And now, another year later, we’re in a depression. And by the way, It’s “chauvinist” dear. PS. When YOU’RE talking to me, please call me “Mr.” Chauvinist because we can’t help but feel that its a grand compliment coming from such an ele- vated mentality such as yourself. You remind me of a couple famous Dems that would do well to remember an old truism re. “Light travels faster than sound which is why some people seem bright until you hear them speak.”

Facebook Farce

to:railmail@hargray.com From: islandqueen33@

We think its great that your Cyber

guy publishes the latest scams each month and I thought your readers might appreciate one that’s going around now. It’s an email claiming to be from Facebook and my 14 yearold fell for it and now has a totally frozen PC. It reads like this: “Dear Facebook user, In an effort to make your online experience safer and more enjoyable, Facebook will be implementing a new login system that will affect all Facebook users. These changes will offer new features and increased account security. Before you are able to use the new login system, you will be required to update your account. Please click on the link below to update your account online now:

http://www.facebook.com.ujhuy7m.eu

/globaldirectory/LoginFacebook.php?r

ef=991357617445396247502643401

0515348684&email=sargent@hargra

y.com. If you have any questions, ref- erence our New User Guide. Thanks, The Facebook Team.

ref- erence our New User Guide. Thanks, The Facebook Team. Casino Night to:railmail@hargray.com

Casino Night

to:railmail@hargray.com Nate.Skager@islandreccenter.org Kill Date: January 30, 2010

The Hilton Head Island Recreation Association & the Hilton Head High All Sports Booster Club are excited to announce “Casino Night” sponsored by K&K Plumbing on January 30, 2010 from 7:30pm – 11:30pm at The Westin Hilton Head Island Resort & Spa – Grand Ballroom in Port Royal Plantation. Pre-registration prices are $80 per couple or $45 for a single ticket. Door prices are $90 per couple or $50 for a single ticket. Proceeds benefit the Island Recreation Center’s Scholarship Fund and the Hilton Head High All Sports Booster Club. For more info go to www.islandrec- center.org, emailinfo@islandreccen- ter.org or call 843-681-7273

The Posh Rock Rail ❼☎✪ ■❘❊▼❘❑☎✼■❊✏☎✯■❊✏☎✮●▼■◗■❘☎❊❘❍☎❚❊◗❚■▼❘❑☎❼ January -2010 page 5

First Time Rail Reader? Great! We luv when that happens! From our ‘09 Fall Staff, The Supreme Masters of “Money’s Worth” Relaxed Living of the World, We’d Like to welcome Y’all to our little neighborhood ,

❼☎✼❙▲☎✸❏☎✽▲■☎✫❙❊❍☎❼

Welcome Folks

to one of the Low Country’s finest hours. If you don’t find something inside that moves you,

, there’s a very good chance that you may be dead. Otherwise, we’d like to welcome the good folks of , Hilton Head, B’Town, Daufuskie, Moss Creek, Buckingham, Heritage Lakes, Colleton River, Sawmill Forest, Westbury park, Woodbridge, The Farm, Lake Linden and now Pineridge. Welcome, you’ve got Rail! – Rail staff 2009 –

January-2010 ✱❊❚❚☎✫▼▲❍❊☎✬❊❚▼●❙❘☎ Rail 2010 Staffers
January-2010
✱❊❚❚☎✫▼▲❍❊☎✬❊❚▼●❙❘☎
Rail 2010 Staffers
❀▲■❘☎✽▲■■☎✪■☎✪❘✏☎▲■
✫●❖☎❙❚☎✓✻❙❑■☎✯❊❘❖ ▼❘
Layout/Design
✼▲▼◗❊☎✹❊■ ✓✬✒☎✳❊◗■
Regulars
✻☎✯❊❘❖ ▼❘☎❼☎✳☎✼▼❚❚■
❼✬☎✳❊◗■☎❼☎✳✭ ✽●●▼ ▼
❼☎✻☎✶❊▲▼☎❼☎✼❊❊▲☎✼▼◗◗
Guests & Ghosts
✵▼ ■☎✳❙■✓✶▼●❖■☎✱▼ ❙❘☎☎
Creative License
✽❙☎❊ ☎▲❙☎▼■✏☎❍■▼❑❘✏☎
❚▲❙❙❑❊❚▲☎✡☎❍▼▼❋■
Photography
✬❙❖☎✳❊◗■✏☎✵▼■☎✱❋❊❘❍
✡☎✬❊☎✶●✬❙✏☎✱✱▼
Distribution
✫☎✼●❊●▲☎▲▲▼
All letters re. E:mail-V:mail-
Snail:mail will be published
unedited when submitted by
the 25th of the month.
HHRBS Publications
PO Bx 6233, HHI-29938
E:mail:
railtrail@hargray.com
843-842 5156

Rail’s

Recovering Liberal’s Blog

Don’t Buy

The 2010 Lie

"The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system." - Barack Obama –

The squealing Obammyboppers of

the media seem to have gotten more

muted since those inaugural specials hit the newsstands back in late January. There may be 17.3 million

Americans out of a job in this economy, including those who’ve stopped look-

ing, but it’s happy days for our local and

federal employees. The number of civil servants making $100,000 or more has jumped over 46 percent since the start of the recession. And while it may be a bit touting, we have to take credit for

predicting last March that the bailout was all about their hides versus ours.

True colors coming through and they’re

not pretty.

Locally, “Town” of Hilton Head employees – In USD as of Dec 22, 2009 – have followed suit according to

a number of google searches.

“Average Town of Hilton Head salaries for job postings nationwide are 119% higher than average salaries for all job postings nationwide.” The Average "Town" Staffer receives $141,000.00.

By Comparison:

Internal Medicine Hospitalist Physician

$118,000

Family Practice General Physician

$118,000

Permanent Family Practice

$100,000

Indeed.com searches millions of jobs from thousands of job sites.

IIIInnnnSSSSiiiiddddeeee:::: January-2010-Winter Kicks “The Couch Potato’s Tomatoes” COVER Credits: Rail Art &
IIIInnnnSSSSiiiiddddeeee:::: January-2010-Winter Kicks
“The Couch Potato’s Tomatoes”
COVER Credits: Rail Art & Design-HHI
• Rail MAILBOX: RRRRAAAANNNNTTTTSSSS,,,, RRRRAAAAVVVVEEEESSSS,,,, MMMMOOOOAAAANNNNSSSS &&&& GGGGRRRROOOOAAAANNNNSSSS pg. 5
• THE SCHEME:: HHHHOOOOMMMMEEEELLLLEEEESSSSSSSS ####’’’’SSSS GGGGRRRROOOOWWWWIIIINNNNGGGG
-pg.-
6
• LJ-6’S WORLD: The Dem’s Spin PPPP 7777
• STUFF/FYI: America’America’ss favefave GunsGuns pg. 11
• FILM: Simms sez“Extraordinary” is warm/fuzzy. pg 14
• LOCAL BARS • LIVE MUSIC NIGHTLY Pgs 18-19
• LOCAL BAR BAND FEATURES PG 12
•• TRENDTREND WWAATCH:TCH: TheThe NightlifeNightlife ByBy DayDay pgpg 1717
• JAZZ TALES:Sippel Revisits Freddie Cole pg 20
•• Neighborhoods/ChildNeighborhoods/Child sexsex offendersoffenders ppppgggg 22222222
•SUMMER DOIN’S: F&A BEVERAGE:
PLUS: • Travel+Leisure recommended
✭✭✭✭❊❊❊❊❖❖❖❖✼✼✼✼❚❚❚❚❙❙❙❙
NNNNiiiitttteeeelllliiiiffffeeee NNNNeeeewwwwssss ssssttttaaaarrrrttttssss
ppppgggg
11116666
✼❚❚❙
❂❙☎✵❙●❊
✶▼●▼❊❘

#6RailTrail

✲➠☎❊ ☎❊❋❙ The Scheme OfOf ThingsThings

❀❊☎✭❙❘☎✼❙▲☎❙❏☎✽▲■☎✸ ➠☎✫❙❊❍☎✻▼■

Down and Out In Paradise

Ain’t Got No Home

Under The Rug

By Roger Franklin.

The Island’s growing homeless pop- ulation doesn’t get any press until another one turns up dead. “Growing” is the key word here and it needs more than ever to be addressed. A 2007 report by the South Carolina Council on Homelessness found that on any given night, there were 6,759 homeless people in South Carolina – nearly 20% of whom were children. This report concluded with an esti- mated “real count” of 17,000. That was three years ago this month. Check it out for yourself at schome- less.org. This problem is not going away. A matter of fact has it that the milder cli- mate has them coming in from all over, New York City began buying one-way plane tickets for their home- less families to leave the city in 2007, and dozens of the families have land-

ed in Georgia and South Carolina. The New York Times reported that it's part of a Bloomberg administration program to keep the homeless out of their expensive shelter system, which costs $36,000 a year per family. More than 550 families have left the city since 2007. Its all about economics, its cheaper to buy them a plane ticket. source: The Augusta Chronicle, Wednesday, July 29, 2009. This is not a current phenomenon due to the prevailing economy. A time bomb began ticking in the mid-1970s, when the psychiatric and mental health professions went politically cor- rect and identified the mentally ill as "victims" who required advocates. Announcing in the mid-1970s that confining mental patients violated their civil rights, a cadre set to work to release as many patients as they could, resulting in the huge homeless phenomenon of the 1980s that re- mains with us today. The media spin maintained that these abandoned citi- zens were the victims of the cruel

these abandoned citi- zens were the victims of the cruel Chronically Homeless 7.1% Severely Mentally Ill

Chronically Homeless

7.1%

Severely Mentally Ill 7.6% Chronic Substance Abuse

14.9%

Veterans 7.6% Persons with HIV/AIDS

1.2%

Victims of Domestic Violence 8.8% Unaccompanied Youth

0.5%

American capitalist society. In other words, it was our fault that people marginalized by society existed, dramatizing that the public deserved this inconvenience for living selfish lives. Sound familiar? Upon examination, it was discov- ered -- but not reported by a compliant mass media -- that over 80% of the homeless were actually newly released mental patients, not dispos- sessed victims of the economic sys- tem. Other nations saw the phenome- non as the underside of America's economic system, when actually the homeless were purposefully inflicted on U.S. society by political radicals such as we have today. Read: Whether coincidentally or in a clever conspiracy, by the time the first waves of homeless hit the streets after their release, activist lawyers assured their "right" to roam at will by having all the vagrancy and loitering laws in the country struck down in var- ious court rulings. Citizens who asked why they weren't protected from attacks by street vagrants were told by the police that their hands were tied. The entire homeless problem appeared to be a plot to embarrass Americans for being Americans and to prove that capitalism had failed. You know the rest. Cities now care

capitalism had failed. You know the rest. Cities now care for the homeless at great cost.

for the homeless at great cost. The majority of Beaufort County’s home- less are housed at the Detention Center on the Tax payer’s dime. However, as every other facet of the local population, the Island’s home- less have an identity of their own. There are no known accounts of homeless people harassing pedestri- ans and businesses. On the contrary. The Island’s homeless number about 25 according to Islander Elizabeth Ginns. homeless herself and admittedly “ashamed” of it. She nevertheless works at odd jobs at sev- eral S-end bars, is never seen with her hand out, and chooses to camp out rather than live at the Detention Center courtesy of the tax payer. David Jeffrey Craig, a 40-year-old homeless man, was pulled from the waters May 6 near the Circle Center on Pope Avenue. “Craig probably was in the water for one to two weeks before being spotted by a passing pedestrian.” In the same Packet piece, in an almost by the way men- tion, “another homeless man was pulled from the same lagoon last year. Gary Collins, 58, of Hilton Head was retrieved after being in the water for 10 days. He had drowned.” In another Packet piece on July 25, 51-year-old Robert Boardman was found dead in the same area as Craig and Collins. Although promises that toxicology reports would be forthcom- ing, there have been none and we still don’t know how these people died. As the local homeless numbers go up, and they are, the daileys continue to ignore the problem as if its become an embarrassment to report such information. These people may be vic- tims of their own personal choices, but they’re not a bunch of dangerous cra- zies. We knew all the people that died and are still waiting for the causes of death. More as it comes. rf

cra- zies. We knew all the people that died and are still waiting for the causes
DemSpin 6 Pack Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups Google This
DemSpin
6 Pack
Never underestimate
the power of stupid
people in large
groups
Google This
Holy Molé folks, Little Joe is under
fire for last month’s piece on the
Democratic party and I’ve been chal-
lenged to “factualize” everything I said
about their failed social programs. It
would appear that the two ladies that
ganged up on me in Harbour Town are
incapable of doing the work of check-
ing it out for themselves. So I’ve
decided to put forth another fact or
two for their benefit.
Q. What do the top ten cities with the
highest poverty rate all have in com-
mon?
• Newark,NJ(10th)
since
1907.
• Detroit, MI (#1 on the poverty list)
hasn't elected a Republican mayor
since 1961; Thank you Kawame
Kilpatrick.
• Buffalo, NY (2nd) hasn't elected
one since 1954;
So what’s the point? Simply, It is the
disadvantaged who habitually elect
Democrats, yet are still disadvantaged
today. Imagine that ladies.
And while we’re on the subject of
political fact or fiction, let’s get to the
crux. In political theory 101, democra-
cy describes a small number of relat-
ed forms of government and also a
political philosophy. Even though
there is no universally accepted defi-
nition of 'democracy', there are two
• Cincinnati, OH (3rd)
since
1984;
ists advocate the creation of a society
in which wealth and power are distrib-
uted more evenly based on “the
amount of work expended”, although
there is considerable disagreement
among socialists over how, and to
what extent this could be achieved.
Little Joe thinks herein lies the prob
lem with Socialism folks. Socialism
has never worked for long because
the amount of work expended can
only be measured by what an individ-
ual has to show for it. “Socialism” is in
its very essence a canard. Any
Government that claims to be all
about spreading the wealth more
evenly is a liar and does so only to
stay in power. Its just that simple girls.
• Cleveland, OH (4th)
since
1989;
• Miami, FL (5th) has never had a
Republican mayor;
• St. Louis, MO (6th)
since
1949;
• El Paso, TX (7th) has never had a
All Warmed
Over
Republican mayor;
• Milwaukee, WI (8th)
since
1908;
• Philadelphia,PA (9th)
since
1952;
principles that any definition of
democracy includes. The first is that
all members of the society (citizens)
have equal access to power and the
second that all enjoy universally rec-
ognized freedoms and liberties.
Socialists mainly share the belief
that capitalism unfairly concentrates
power and wealth among a small seg-
ment of society that controls capital,
creates an unequal society, and does
not provide equal opportunities for
everyone in society. Therefore social-
This man-made climate crisis is just
another Dem ploy to stay in power
folks. Without historical context there
can be no real understanding of exis-
tential issues, certainly not of essen-
tial continuities. That's why those who
seek to obfuscate and skew do their
utmost to erase telltale fundamental
perspectives and present whatever
they focus upon as cogent isolated
concerns aka “solid science”. For the
dullards out there, please read: with
no proof or evidence of a track record
ever existing, what did or did not hap-
pen years ago cannot be assumed to
be important today and no decisions
can be made on such dis- and mis-
information aka "opinions".
But alas, the more doubt shed the
more adament the Dems get on the
certainty of man-made warming. LJ6
America’s Most PopularGuns The Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution gives all citizens the right
America’s Most PopularGuns The Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution gives all citizens the right

America’s Most

PopularGuns

The Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution gives all citizens the right to keep and bear arms. If data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics are any indication, many Americans are exercising this freedom. Nationally, 42 percent of people responding to a 2008 survey reported having a gun in their home. That's up from 36 percent in 1999, when gun ownership reached an all-time low. Whether they’re antique rifles or modern handguns and shotguns, the U.S. has a lot of firearms. In 2009, U.S. companies manufactured 3.85 million guns, according to the ATF. Among gun owners, 58 percent own pistols, 63 percent own shotguns and 59 percent own rifles [source:

Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2003, 2008]. The sales data paint a slightly different picture. According to the National Shooting Sports Foundation, a third of all gun sales can be attrib-

Notice:

HH Rugby Seeks Individuals interested in trying-out for the -08 HH Rugby Team should contact “Irish” Murphy @ 842 3448.

Rugby Seeks Individuals interested in trying-out for the -08 HH Rugby Team should contact “Irish” Murphy
HH Rugby Team should contact “Irish” Murphy @ 842 3448 . uted to handguns such as

uted to handguns such as revolvers and pistols, a third to rifles and shot- guns, and a third to ammunition.

SpyGadgets

By Mathis, HHI

For a techie guy, that has a Sherlocke Holmes reincarnate for an editor, this clever little recorder is to die for at the low price of $69.95. Even if you have no good reason to record conversations secretly, The ProntoProof is an essential tool for students, security personnel and executives. The ProofPronto Audio Pen will record audio with it's internal micro- phone for a total of 128 hours - over 5 full days and nights worth of audio recording capacity (1GB model holds 64 hours). After 6 hours of recording, simply plug the pen into any comput- er or USB outlet to recharge the inter-

Know Your Neighbors?

Know Your Neighbors? go to this link and near the bottom left, it address that's yours

go to this link and near the bottom left,

it

address

that's yours

click on them and get his/her name & picture along with the

crime http://www12.familywatchdog.us/

Okay, here's the deal

has a "Click Here" button

click on it and enter your

it will show your neighborhood and a tiny "house",

all the little colored boxes are Sex Offenders

Geeks • Gadgets • Digital Goodies pg 9 phones and take a listen - or
Geeks • Gadgets • Digital Goodies pg 9
phones and take a listen -
or unscrew the pen to
reveal a USB plug to use
with any computer. You
can listen, edit or save the
recordings to a CD, email
them and more. As an
MP3 player, the pen will
let you store and listen to
up to 2,000 songs in ultra-high fideli-
ty. Simply plug the included earbud
headphones into the jack at the top of
the pen, or use your own - you can
even plug the pen into your car or
home stereo for the ultimate portable
jukebox!
Rail Local Scam Alerts: By Mathis, HHI
Drug Stores Busted For Selling Expired
nal lithium-ion battery.
When you've captured what you
need, plug in the included head-
rail Factoids: About Marijuana and FAQ.
Marijuana is the third most popular recreational drug in America (behind only
alcohol and tobacco), and has been used by nearly 80 million Americans.
According to government surveys, some 20 million Americans have smoked
marijuana in the past year, and more than 11 million do so regularly despite
harsh laws against its use. Our public policies should reflect this reality, not
deny it.
Marijuana is far less dangerous than alcohol or tobacco. Around 50,000
people die each year from alcohol poisoning. Similarly, more than 400,000
deaths each year are attributed to tobacco smoking. By comparison, marijua-
na is nontoxic and cannot cause death by overdose. According to the presti-
gious European medical journal, The Lancet, "The smoking of cannabis, even
long-term, is not harmful to
cannabis as less of a threat
It would be reasonable to judge
than alcohol or tobacco."
When you're picking something up off the
shelf at a store, its probably always a good
idea to check the expiration date.
Connecticut AG Richard Blumenthal is suing CVS
Pharmacy, Inc. for allegedly selling food, beverages and
over the counter medications past their expiration dates at 20 or more of its
Connecticut stores.
"CVS peddled potentially tainted food and ineffective medicine. Whether
CVS was careless or heedless or overzealous for revenue, it betrayed its trust
to consumers," Blumenthal said. Any item past its expiration date should be off
shelves, out of stores.
Expired items allegedly sold by CVS include cough and allergy medicines,
baby formula and antacids, as well as energy drinks and dairy products, such
as milk, eggs and yogurt. Investigators found the expired products in the sum-
mers of 2008 and 2009, Blumenthal said.
Last month, CVS agreed to pay $875,000 to end a probe by New York
Attorney General Andrew Cuomo into the sale of expired products in its New
York stores, and agreed to implement new policies to prevent expired goods
from being sold.
Rite Aid reached a similar agreement with New York last year and agreed
to pay $1.3 million and adopt new internal policies.
Nearly half of all CVS stores surveyed last year were found selling expired
products compared to about a quarter in 2008. It also showed numerous
stores selling expired products both years.
7 Days a Week • Dinner: 4:00 - 10:00
7 Days a Week • Dinner: 4:00 - 10:00
7 Days a Week • Dinner: 4:00 - 10:00 Grins: New American A beautiful fairy appeared

Grins: New American

A beautiful fairy appeared to a destitute Mexican outside an Arizona immigra- tion office. "Good man, I've been sent here by President Obama to grant you

three wishes, since you just arrived in the US with your wife and eight children." The man told the fairy, "Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold." The fairy looked at the man's almost tooth- less grin and -- PING ! -- he had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his Mouth! "Two more to go." The refugee now got bolder. "I need a big house with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my relatives. PING ! -- in the dis- tance there could be seen a beautiful Mansion with a walkout patio with a BBQ and overlooking the Bay. "One more wish", said the fairy, waving her wand. "Yes, one more! I want to be just like an American with American clothes, and a base-

He was transformed - wearing worn out

ball cap. And I want to have

jeans, a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and a baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. "What happened to my new

teeth?and my new house?" The fairy said: "Tough shit, Amigo, Now that you are an American, you have to fend for yourself." Man oh man!

PING!

Rail’s✱❙❙●❙❚■

Rail’s ✱❙❙●❙❚■ Quote of the Month: Page 11 “Government is like a baby: An alimentary
Rail’s ✱❙❙●❙❚■ Quote of the Month: Page 11 “Government is like a baby: An alimentary

Quote of the Month:

Page 11

“Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.” – Ronald Reagan –

An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at
An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at
Rail’s Performance Artists Highlighting the Local Bar Bands Music surrounds us–and we would- n't have

Rail’s Performance Artists Highlighting the

Local Bar Bands

Music surrounds us–and we would- n't have it any other way. A dynamic orchestral crescendo can bring emo- tion to our eyes and pleasure to our faces. Background swells add emo- tive punch to movies and TV shows. Organists at ballgames bring us together, cheering to our feet. Parents croon soothingly to infants. More than 30,000 years ago early humans were already playing bone flutes, percussive instruments and jaw harps, and all known societies throughout the world have had music. and our appreciation appears to be innate. Music is indeed the universal language, But without a demonstrably immense superiority in skill over the novice, there can be no true talents, only laypeople with imposing creden- tials. Until the advent of the prevailing depression-like economy, such has been all too common in Southern Beaufort County’s state of the per- formance arts and the venues that once dominated. The majority of the venues today are no longer the dinner clubs, upscale eateries or the “tourist venue” stages, but the local bars where the Blues and Rock and Roll rules, affordable F&B dominates, wee hours prevail and live entertainment is cover-free. As such, this economy has been good for quality live music. The local venues are currently finacially in reach

Local Bar Venues

Local Bar Venues

of the most talented, full time profes- sionals who are having no choice but to lower their income expectations. Having said that, for the next few issues the Island Rail is pleased to feature pictorials and short takes on the best of the best solo entertainers and small bands. This month we fea- ture one soloist, one duo, one trio, one quartet and one of the areas most tal- ented up and coming full bands. (continued on page 16)

tal- ented up and coming full bands. (continued on page 16) ✽❙❚☎✽❊❋ ■☎✡ ✽❊❋
tal- ented up and coming full bands. (continued on page 16) ✽❙❚☎✽❊❋ ■☎✡ ✽❊❋
✽❙❚☎✽❊❋ ■☎✡ ✽❊❋ ■☎✽❙❚ With the cooler months enrouté high-end restaurants
✽❙❚☎✽❊❋ ■☎✡
✽❊❋ ■☎✽❙❚
With the cooler months enrouté
high-end restaurants South of the
Broad traditionally put their best foot
❀▼❘■☎✼■▼❙❘
forward to greet the better heeled
travelers that come this time of year
for the milder climate, clearer streets, econo-driven resort packages and the
no wait restaurant accomodations.
With another slack November on the books our sources and nightly excur-
sions nevertheless reflected a handful of eateries doing steady numbers
which included Sage Room, Kurama’s, The Gator, Frankie Bones and
Stellini’s.
Hospitality Business Watch
Closings 2008-2009
Blue Coyote • Bluffton Ale House • Ryan's • Club Paradise • Rider's • Captn
Seafood • Pizzaria La Mama • Stages • Rock City • Stripes • Metro • Juleps •
DosiDo's/B'Town • JB Shag’s • Club Life • Trinity • Sticky Fingers • Domino's
Pizza-Pk Plaza • May Fifth • Monkey Business • Tavern on The Park • Shrimp
Michael’s • Blind Pig-B’Town
Openings 2009 to date
Kanaley’s Irish Pub • Southern Coney and Breakfast • Wine Times 4 • Cork’s-
B’Town and coming soon to HH • $2 Bills @ Village Exchange • Daniels @
Beach City Mrkt • Blind Pig Saloon - B’Town • The Metro – B’ • Town Bluffton
Ale&Cheese Steak-B’’Town • Moda-B’Town
While this list is not complete, from the information we’ve gathered the list-
ings here have been confirmed and will be updated monthly.
not complete, from the information we’ve gathered the list- ings here have been confirmed and will
not complete, from the information we’ve gathered the list- ings here have been confirmed and will
not complete, from the information we’ve gathered the list- ings here have been confirmed and will
not complete, from the information we’ve gathered the list- ings here have been confirmed and will
Coming January By Sarah Simms, HHI VÜtéç ÉÇ g{x bâàá|wx Opens Jan 8th and is

Coming January

By Sarah Simms, HHI

VÜtéç ÉÇ g{x bâàá|wx

Opens Jan 8th and is my pick for one of the hottest cult films of the year. In Tim Allen's directorial debut, he stars as a man recently released from prison. His sister lied to his fam- ily and said he was in France for three years. His crime buddy tries to lure him back to illegal ways, while his ex- girlfriend tries to maintain a relation- ship despite her engagement to another man. It’s the dynamic cast that’s con- vinced me of its future top rung rate- ing as the film also stars Sigourney Weaver, Kelsey Grammar, Ray Liotta and J.K. Simmons. Weaver and Liotta should provide heavy chemistry and JK Simmons should add just enough Quirk to make it work. ss

REEL FLIX

By Sara Simms, HHI Quick-Takes:

Simms sez • See It • Go For The Ride , • Take A Hike
Simms sez
• See It
• Go For The Ride
,
• Take A Hike
• Get Out’a Town

Extraordinary

Measures

Crowley (Brendan Fraser) has finally begun to taste success in corporate America. Supported by his beautiful wife Aileen (Keri Russell) and their three children, John is on the fast

Starring: Harrison Ford, Brendan Fraser, Keri Russell Director: Tom Vaughan Genre: Drama Rating: PG Release Date: January 22nd

Vaughan Genre: Drama Rating: PG Release Date: January 22nd SYNOPSIS: In the tradition of great inspirational

SYNOPSIS: In the tradition of great inspirational dra- mas like the Academy Award nominated film Erin Brockovich and The Pursuit of Happyness, Extraordinary is inspired by the true story of John Crowley, a man who defied conventional wisdom and great odds, and risked his family's future to pursue a cure for his children's life threatening disease. From his working class roots, John

Classic Film Quotes:

When all was black & white

"Elementary, my dear Watson!" - was a phrase never spoken by the lead character in the many Sherlock Holmes novels

from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. This quote was rather found in a film review in the New York Times on October 19,

1929.

a film review in the New York Times on October 19, 1929. track. But just as
a film review in the New York Times on October 19, 1929. track. But just as

track. But just as his career is taking off, Crowley walks away from it all when his two youngest children, Megan and Patrick, are diagnosed with a fatal disease. With Aileen by his side, harnessing all of his skill and determination, Crowley teams up with a brilliant, but unappreciated and

by his side, harnessing all of his skill and determination, Crowley teams up with a brilliant,

Simple Sayings: "A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and

improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government.” – Thomas Jefferson –

Page 15

of good government.” – Thomas Jefferson – Page 15 unconventional scientist, Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison

unconventional scientist, Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison Ford). Together they form a bio-tech company focused on developing a life-saving drug. One driven to prove himself and his theories, the other by a chance to save his children, this unlikely alliance eventually develops into mutual respect as they battle the medical and business establishments in a fight against the system - and time.

Edge Of Darkness

music by Eric Clapton England BBC

Starring: Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, Danny Huston, Shawn Roberts Director: Martin Campbell Genre: Drama • Rating: R (For strong bloody violence and language.) Release Date: January 29, 2010

SYNOPSIS:

Thomas Craven (GIbson) is a veteran homicide detective for the Boston Police Department and a single father. When his only child, 24-year- old Emma, is murdered on the steps of his home, everyone assumes that he was the target. But he soon sus- pects otherwise, and embarks on a mission to find out about his daugh- ter's secret life and her killing. His investigation leads him into a danger- ous looking-glass world of corporate cover-ups, government collusion and murder — and to shadowy govern- ment operative Darius Jedburgh who has been sent in to clean up the evi- dence. Craven's solitary search for answers about his daughter's death transforms into an odyssey of emo- tional discovery and redemption.

into an odyssey of emo- tional discovery and redemption. Movie Newz 2010 Screen Actors Guild Awards

Movie Newz

2010 Screen Actors Guild Awards Nominations

Nominations for the 16th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards were announced last month just two days after the 2010 Golden Globe Nominations giving us plenty to chew on heading into the weekend. As for surprises I can say there are really only a couple. First off, one nod that's not really a surprise is the one that went to Jeremy Renner for The Hurt Locker, most likely edging out Daniel Day- Lewis for Nine. Considering we are talking about actors nominating actors this seems about right. However, Diane Kruger getting a nomination for her performance in Inglourious Basterds is a bit of a sur- prise, especially as she's beating out her co-star in that film Melanie Laurent, not to forget Marion Cotillard in Nine, both performances

I believe are more deserving. As for the rest, no big surprises.

MOTION PICTURE NOMINEES Actor

• Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

• George Clooney, Up In the Air

• Colin Firth, A Single Man

• Morgan Freeman, Invictus

• Jeremy Renner, The Hurt Locker

Actress

• Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side

• Helen Mirren, The Last Station

• Carey Mulligan, An Education

• Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

• Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

Supporting Actor

• Matt Damon, Invictus

• Woody Harrelson, The Messenger

• Christopher Plummer, Last Station

• Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones

• Chris Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Supporting Actress

• Penelope Cruz, Nine

• Vera Farmiga, Up In the Air

• Anna Kendrick, Up In the Air

• Diane Kruger, Inglourious Basterds

Up In the Air • Diane Kruger, Inglourious Basterds Grins: To Coin a Great Phrase Have

Grins: To Coin a Great Phrase

Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase 'You Gotta Be Shittin' Me''? Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our Country, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware River

with his troops. There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat.

It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them

about. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading. Corporal Peters, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth. Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for an hour try- ing to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favorites. Sometime later, Washington and his

troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on. An hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.' They trudged toward the lights and came upon

a huge house. What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute,

hidden in the forest to serve all who came. General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there. Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam,

I am General George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, wet,

exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.' Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place. We can surely give you

How many men do you have?' Washington replied,

'Well, Madam, without Peters there are 32 of us.' And with a dropped jaw, the Madam squinted and said, 'You gotta be shittin me.' Aw man!

warmth and comfort

✭❊❖✭❊❖

Winter Session

2010

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Local Bars & R&R Rule

By Cork James

Blame it on the economy because that’s what the local bar scene is all about these days. With tourist venues and warm weather stages currently in check, the most affordable music venues are the smaller, wee hour destinations where light fare, drink specials and the best no cover, small act live music prevails. Check out our picks for the best of this month. Tommy Simms, our featured soloist, is who we believe to be the areas most consummate electric gui- tarist and the only other we know that can touch him is Arnell Byrd, a guy we’ve never seen in a small, local bar setting. While often alternating be- tween the standard acoustic and an electric six-string, the acoustic wasn’t designed for the exceptional dexterity and precision that Simms has been gifted with and he makes the tasty rifs and ripping solos appear effortless. While frequently working the smaller venues on a one night stand basis, aspiring guitarist can usually catch Tommy Simms at The Alligator Grille on Saturday nights. While guitarist Craig Coyne and Gary Pratt aka The Jalapéno Brothers demean their entertainment value by choosing low seating, for the serious roots music listener they are a quality acoustic act that few can match. Both gifted with solid guitar and vocal skills, the accomplished solo work of Coyne accentuating the full bodied vocals of Pratt blend for a commanding acoustic sound. For the most part performing R&R Classics and early day blues material, these guys work from a huge repertory and are capable of winging anything they’ve ever heard.

❀▼❘■☎✖✔✕✔☎✼❙▲☎❙❏☎✽▲■☎❙

❀▼❘■☎✖✔✕✔☎✼❙▲☎❙❏☎✽▲■☎❙ ➠☎✫❙❊❍☎✻▼■☎

By Cork James

✼❚❙✼❚❙

Some speculate that 2010 will be a pivotal year for F&B destina- tions choosing to ignore the need to aggressivly address their competition. Regardless, for those who do, it has to be a pleasure for patrons who consider the evening meal as the

highlight of the day!

Madison Edelman- Bass and Anthony Rigg - Drums. For a handful of teens to be focused on original material at such an early age we have to believe that with proper direction their future is cut out. The lyrics of writers Anderson and Edelman both imply sexual precociousness and pour out what some would consider risqué.

Who’s Doin’/Not

With the New year shaping up to be a 2009 repeat most of the more savvy bar/restaurant owners are getting yet more aggressive with their promo- tions. The competition has never been as fierce as it is today and with steal-deal offerings abound the frugal minded locals are being targeted Island-wide.

PB Sunrise Cafe has ruled the breakfast hours Island-wide for years now and we see little change through- out the Winter months there as PBSC continues to attract the lion’s share of the breakfast/brunch locals seeking variety and prompt in and out access. Kurama’s long time local sushi lov- ing clientele and table-side Chef entertainment combined with a 20% discount for “locals only” should keep numbers steady there and we see this as one of the Island’s few Japanese restaurants sustaining by year’s end. The Frosty Frog has the distinction of being the Islands only frozen daquiri offering which keeps steady numbers going there which of course falls off this time of year via Coligny Plaza’s visitor destination location. The Zone is the N-ends hottest spot currently and we have to believe that

N-ends hottest spot currently and we have to believe that The Groove Tones is the most

The Groove Tones is the most hard working high energy blues-roots trio for miles. Playing long sets and taking short breaks these guys take the gig seriously and it shows from audience reaction. While bassist Tony Reyes has a soft touch on the strings he belts every vocal with the natural facial expression and genuine body language that accentuates them. Guitarist Bill Luebke’s raspy voice is made for the classic blues material he chooses and those who have never seen the G-Tones, but may have heard their CD, will probably assume he’s black. Hard driven by Greg Gresham’s solid, straight ahead per- cussion these guys are an ideal local bar band that earn every penny. This particular version -pictured at the top- of The Martin Lesch Band aka The Spare Parts is one hot quar- tet. While pianist Martin Lesch-left

and guitarist Craig Coyne-3rd from- are the staples seen performing with pick-up bassists and drummers, the chemistry flowing from this ensemble is second to none. Working a back to back jam MO and seldom addressing the crowd, their sets are straight ahead, high energy performances that only the most serious listeners and dance lovers can appreciate. While Lesch or “Parts” can usually be seen at Remy’s on any given Wednesday or Thursday night via the proverbial box of chocolates, this par- ticular line-up has no set schedule and may be hard to catch. Whether Carpe Sanus (Sieze The Sound) developes into a band of accomplished musicians remains to be seen but the raw talent is appar- ent. “Seize” is: Devin Anderson- Vocals, Logan Edelman-Lead Guitar, Tomie Shirin-Bitton-Rhythm Guitar,

•Chow• ✭❊❖✼❚❙ •Posh Nosh• ✭❊❖✼❚❙

•NiteLifeNewz•

pg 17

the billiards room and successful con- certs at the Shoreline Ballroom just across the hall are adding to this small sport’s bars viability. The Lodge is geared up for the cooler months ahead with nightly deals highlighted by the traditional $2 Tini Tuesdays and the real music on Wed and Sundays there which fea- tures The Free Shots on Wed and the Storks on Sundays. Stellini’s has locked in the early diner’s appeal that most large restau- rants strive for and the off the beaten path location has for 20 years served as a haven for locals and visitors pre- ferring a more subdued dinner desti- nation. Murphy’s is the most popular active sport destination on the Island as good numbers of Rugby/Soccer players and NFL fans alike huddle there Thursday-Saturday and with the walking distance convenience of the Forest Beach residents and dozens of near-by white collar workers the happy hour and dinner numbers con- tinue to be steady. Frugal minded locals have got to be

Old Town Promenade

Nightlife revelers no longer have to worry about the trip back after hard party excursions to the Island as the most recent hub to evolve into a viable destination is in B’Town where the “Promenade” and Old Town com- bine to offer a walkabout as diverse as anything on the Island. For the first time B’Town’s diverse nightlife can compete with the Island’s most popular hubs and the Rail is pleased to announce regular coverage in the new year and we will hopefully be introducing our latest beat reporter sometime in January. B’Town dark spots of interest will include the Old Town/Prom-enade walkabout spots such as Cap’n Woody’s, Corks, May River Grill, Jocks and Pepper’s Porch. At presstime we learned that all night breakfast is now available at the Squat & Gobble.

NOTICE: The Rail is currently seek- ing a B’Town resident with written verbal skills and a good digital cam- era who may be interested in picking up extra cash. Please call 842 5156 for more info.

Nightlife by Day
Nightlife
by Day
Christmas was all about the kids as usual and this year many of the bars

Christmas was all about the kids as usual and this year many of the bars and restaurants took on a homey atmosphere with kids and dogs of all ages mingling with the spirited patrons and working troops that had their hands full keeping up with it all. Murphy’s, Island Bistro and the Jazz Corner were no exceptions.

loving the all new Two Dollar Bill’s now up and running which features $2 wells, domestics and house vinos all day, 7 days a week. One Hot Mama’s has been ruling the Triangle’s local appeal thanks in part to aggressive marketing and the outside smoker’s bar there. WHILE The Sea Shack’S owner/GM Gene Baldwin has been keeping a light schedule due to health issues this little spot just keeps on rocking and continues to host more bodies on any given day than 90% of the eateries on the Island. WIth a focused crew and streamlined service MO this small spot is set to weather whatever economic conditions come along. Wise Guys continues to enjoy steady crowds with good numbers

week-nights and 30-45 minute waits on the week-ends and it’s 2 fer1 small plates for F&B staffers after 8p on Sunday nights there. Prana International’s overwhelm- ing success to date is undoubtedly due to the myriad of diverse high energy offerings presented nightly there which embraces the 21-30 yo seeking upbeat festive atmospheres. Ushering in a new era of Island nightlife the Prana MO appears to be recession driven as nightly numbers continue to challenge Dark Spots Island-wide. The Jazz Corner continues to rule live music venues Island-wide and as co-owner Bob Masteller continues to add and tweak the weekly stage per- formance schedules while dropping the cover for locals and adding a

value minded late night menu has us believing that little will change the steady turnouts 7 nights there. The Wild Wing’s value formatted menu and regular live music schedule is producing steady all you can eat lunch numbers and accentuated by good turnouts Thu-Sat for the no cover real music offerings there. We have no doubt that the growing num- ber of frugal minds will be the driver behind this spots continued success. Aunt Chilada’s frugal to high-end

SERGE

IN Motion

SERGE IN Motion Scot Piccione has joined the SERG Group as Bar Manager of The Lodge

Scot Piccione has joined the SERG Group as Bar Manager of The Lodge on HHI. Previously, Piccione was the GM for Qdoba

Mexican Grill in Louisville, KY. Prior

to that he was employed with PF

Changs China Bistro as a Sous

Chef. Piccione attended the U of SC in Columbia and majored in Hotel, Restaurant, and Tourism Management. Piccione first moved

to Hilton Head Island in 1994 and is

a graduate of Hilton Head High

menu offering continues to draw steady lunch and happy hour num- bers and as one of the S-ends most visible restaurants will sustain through the tougher times ahead via first time visitors and the steady local clientele there. Remy’s has been offering more value-minded lunch, happy hour and dinner hour deals and w/the real music 5 nights weekly will likely be able to eke out the Winter year. The 2 fer 1 lunch offering on wednesdays now at Remy’s Also are one of the busiest midweek offerings on the S- end and the recent breakfast ‘til 5am offering has added additional draw power to the Heritage Plaza complex.

✭❊❖✼❚❙ •No ad-driven BS Guide to Live Music nightly ✭❊❖✼❚❙ pg18

to Live Music nightly ✭❊❖✼❚❙ pg18 Day Weeks Music, Wine, Food & Bodies (Not Ad

Day Weeks

Music, Wine, Food & Bodies

(Not Ad Driven/UpDated Dec 25-09

HH Islander’s of 10 years or less may not recall weeknights when find- ing a jumpin’good, fun lovin’ scene on any given night could mean a road trip. During the mid-80’s to early nineties little was happening with any regulari- ty throughout the peak season to speak of, pitiful actually, and short of a half dozen or so guitar solo’s doing a predominant tourista formatted, slow- hand Jimmy Buffet routine, festive week-end only dark spots like The Golden Rose, The Crows Nest --- now The Marriott Grand Ocean on SFB-Scarlet O’Hara’s -now the Hilton XO- The Old Post Office -now Adelphia Cable Co on Pope- Jim’s Paradise -now Mezzaluna, and Remy’s were just about all of the off- seaon options there were.

Monday: The Jazz Corner’s new Blues Tribute is picking up steam

there and Hinchey’s local fave sax- man/entertainer Earl Williams goes til 4 am. Craig Coyne solo’s at the Big Bamboo this month.

Tuesdays: The Jazz Corner’s all local line-up featuring Bob Masteller and the Multi-Jazz Quintet is drawing steady numbers. Craig Coyne goes unplugged at Remy’s and On the mainland it’s now Station 70 with GAME NITE featuring Wii, Corn Hole and Beer Pong. accentuated by $3 Olive Vodkas there.

Wednesdays: Early on 8-mid- night at the Jazz Corner alternating Bobby Ryder with Earl Williams and @The Bamboo Patwa plays Reggae til late and its the The Coyne Band Trio now at Remy’s around 10pm.

Thursdays: Spare Parts with a newly formed 4 pc. as the The Mezzaluna features the Target Band at 9pm and David WIngo is at the Kingfisher from 8pm ‘til.

Friday’s: is of course the SOTB’s hottest real music night w/Alligator Grill featuring Tommy Simms early. Spare Parts alternates w/Martin Lesch Trio at Remy’s and The Earl Williams band is at the Kingfisher. iThe Beaggles @Big Bamboo @7. w/Jesse Watkins & Corey @10:30. The Mezzaluna features the Target Band at 9pm. B’Town’s all new Station 70-formerly One Hot

at 9pm. B’Town’s all new Station 70 -formerly One Hot No ad-driven BS Guide Updated for

No ad-driven BS Guide Updated for January-2010

Steal Deals

F&B steal deals are more scrut- enized than ever. Not only by the skimping family units, college stu- dents and week-end warriors, but working year’rounds and the savvy bar/restaurant owners that are wisely addressing their competition. Ck out a few of our faves.

The latest deal to come along is at Walgreens where savvy shop- pers can get $2 gallons of milk and $1 dozen eggs daily.

• Sundays @ B’Town’s new Station 70-$2 Bloody Marys all day • Monday’s @Hinchey’s-$2 Beam and $2 Merlos, Pink Martinis and

Mojitos @ Big Bamboo and at Wise Guys it’s 2 fer1 small plates for F&B staffers after 8p. The Jazz Corner’s new Blues Tribute Monday offers $3 domestic brews and $4 house liquor & wine. •Tuesdays @The Lodge-$2 Tinis & Bud Bottles • Weds@Callahans’s Burger& a beer $6 and Remy’s 2 fer 1 lunches • $2 vodkas-Open Mic@ Sta 70 *2 fer 1 apps @ Reilley’s-S for Lady’s Night there. • Thurs $1 Vodkas @ Wild Wing, and also at Prana. Two Dollar Bills now offers wells. vinos and domestics for $2 Daily. Prana offers 50¢ drafts daily Island Bistro offers $2 vokas & $5 Grey Goose daily.

Mama’s- will feature live bands all

keep

month. The

regional bands.

Wild

WIng

will

Saturday’s: will offer more diver- sity than ever this Summer as Jorden Sturm works dinner hours @ The Gator and Remy’s will maintain the latest Spare Parts. The Mezzaluna features the Target Band at 9pm. The Tavern has just signed The David Wingo Band for the Summer and On the mainland Station 70 will feature live bands all month.

Sunday’s: may not be the slackest day of the week for live music this month beginning early with Jessie Watkins @ Brick Oven and The Storks will be featured this month at The Lodge. Late nite atmospheres such as Hinchey’s Chi Bar ‘round midnight featuring alternating soloists Mike Kavanaugh and Reid Richmond and no doubt The Jazz Cornerwith Deas Guys will continue to be the hottest Sunday might destination throughout the Winter.

no doubt The Jazz Corner with Deas Guys will continue to be the hottest Sunday might

•Music• ✭❊❖✼❚❙ •Concerts• ✭❊❖✼❚❙

•Local Bars•

pg 19

Local Bar UpDates: DEC-09

LocalBars

Located via 278 Mile Markers

Traditionally, a genuine Island local bar was characterized by peaked bot- tom lines during the off-months and reflecting the year's slowest as May thru August. However this year’s recession atmosphere had most post- ing yet weaker #’s and as many long- time residents tend to stay closer to the house during the warm months cit- ing the crowds, the traffic, awful driv- ers etc. this WInter’s local bar com petitions may be the stiffest ever with a handful chooseing to cut loses by closing their doors.

The Drydock is all about their new location these days as long-time locals rule there. NFL Doings and the home away from home for many NY Yankee fans is evident. The Dock’s frugal minded lunch and Sunday BBQ’s will run throughout the Winter there and regular live music is offered. 278 to Seapine's circle and 3/4's around to Pope Avenue and R @ the CVS and straight around to the 2nd driveway on the left. As the N-end’s latest The Zone located at Beach and Tennis is one of a handful doing steady numbers along w/the heavy boosts from the new Shoreline’s concert nights is combin- ing for some of the better local bar numbers Island-wide. Happy Hour offerings 4-8 as well as 10-2am fea- tures $1.50 house drafts, $2.00 Rum and Vodkas, and daily 1/2 price appe- tizers running daily from 4-8pm there. Go 278 from either direction and take the turn @ Folly Field Rd-3 blocks to Beach & Tennis & (R) w/eyes (L) Remy’s has no doubt reestablished itself and long time Islanders are tak- ing to the new diggs very well. Maintaining consistency from the meat and 3 lunch offering, a $5 happy hour menu offering and regularly scheduled live music Tues-Saturday nights there. From the seapines circle take Pope ave & go (L)@ lagoon Rd. w/a quick (L) @ 1st drive past the bike shop to the end with eye’s straight ahead. Park Plaza’s Tavern On The Park is now Kanaley’s and features live music on Fri&Sats there accentuated

The money may be tighter and crowds may be lighter than ever this year but

The money may be tighter and crowds may be lighter than ever this year but spirits are up at every live music destination South of the Broad as the troops with the wherewithal seek their money’s worth. Slumming around last month had us tuning in on the deals as well and the latest updates are on Pg 18.

by a full median priced menu and steal-deal happy hour daily. From any approach take the SeaPines circle to Greenwood Drive to the 1st street and L to 2nd Park Plaza entrance w/eyes straight ahead. While The Lodge was initially for- matted and generally most frequented during the off-season’s cooler months this cozy Barmuda Triangle nightlife destination has over the past few years acquired such a substantial reg- ular clientele base that year’round local bar status has become apparent. From any ap-proach take the Sea Pines circle to Greenwood Dr to first (L) w/eyes (R) w/entrance behind Reilley’s-S. The Wild Wing Cafe continues to be one of the S-end’s hotter local spots featuring live entertainment Wed-Fri-Sat & Sun accentuated by the Island’s most frugal minded menu, -never a cover-. 278 to Seapine's cir- cle and 3/4's around to Pope Avenue, go half mile to circle cen- ter complex w/ eyes R. Say hello to Brian Corey behind the bar there. Hinchey's Chi Bar is one of the

South-end working local's fave wee hour destinations featuring the real music from around midnight on Thur and Sunday nights there. Take Seapines circle to Pope Ave, go to the end re. Coligny Circle and 3/4's around with an immediate right at the first drive for convenient under- ground parking. The Frosty Frog now in a 7th year has recently reached local bar status and much like the Earl’s annual Summer/Tourista to off-season/locals transition caters to a mid-aged group early and the 21-25 set post midnight there.Take SP circle down Pope Ave and (L) on Lagoon & (R) @ 3rd driveway. Eyes straight ahead OK for parking@ Nash Drugs after 7p. While Aunt Chilada’s long time year’round gathering gets interrupted during the warm season this bar nev- ertheless has a loyal patronage envied by most Irish and Sport’s bar formats due to the 4-7 happy hour and all the action taking place during NFL and MLB seasons. Take SP circle to Pope Ave and U-turn @ Lagoon & 2 blks w/eyes (R).

to Pope Ave and U-turn @ Lagoon & 2 blks w/eyes (R). Callahan’s Featuring a money’s

Callahan’s Featuring a money’s worth median priced lunch and brisk 4-7pm happy hour Callahan’s casual dinner offerings ranging from $6 to $10 and post midnight burgers and finger food makes this long-time local’s destination one of the most popular year’round. Pass MM #10 & left on New Orleans and 1/2 mile w/ eye’s left.

Adult

Doin’s

on New Orleans and 1/2 mile w/ eye’s left. Adult Doin’s Thee Diamond Club has been

Thee Diamond Club has been an integral part of the nightlife of Hilton Head Island for the past six years and as the only com- petitor in adult nightlife re. Club Paradise closeddoors permanently in

July TDC is once again the only game

in town. The beautiful women that this

popular adult gentleman’s club attracts have wowed anyone who is an island native or a frequent yearly visitor. All of these beautiful women

are dancing all night for your pleasure and enjoyment. The gowns are stun- ning. These ladies know how to dress

to impress. They all know how to treat

a gentleman. Have a drink with a

southern belle or an exotic princess. Located on Dunnagan’s Alley @

Palmetto Bay near the Seapines Circle. Say hey to John Laney & Mom.

exotic princess. Located on Dunnagan’s Alley @ Palmetto Bay near the Seapines Circle. Say hey to
BluesBlues TributeTribute ✮❊ ❀▼ ▼❊◗ Wed nights @ The Jazz Corner-8pm & Mondays @Hincheys
BluesBlues TributeTribute
✮❊
❀▼ ▼❊◗
Wed nights @ The
Jazz Corner-8pm &
Mondays @Hincheys
‘round midnight
MonMon nightsnights @@ TheThe JazzJazz CornerCorner
MonMon nightsnights @@ TheThe JazzJazz CornerCorner ARTS & DOWNTIME From the Cradle For the blues/jazz’d

ARTS & DOWNTIME

From the Cradle

JazzJazz CornerCorner ARTS & DOWNTIME From the Cradle For the blues/jazz’d confused By John Sippel Bio:
JazzJazz CornerCorner ARTS & DOWNTIME From the Cradle For the blues/jazz’d confused By John Sippel Bio:

For the blues/jazz’d confused By John Sippel

Bio: Freddie Cole ❀▼ ☎❋■☎❊☎▲■☎✳❊
Bio:
Freddie Cole
❀▼ ☎❋■☎❊☎▲■☎✳❊
✬❙❘■☎▲▼☎◗❙❘▲☎❙❘☎▲■
✕✙▲☎✡☎✕✚▲

Lionel Frederick Cole was born on October 15, 1931, the youngest of Edward and Paulina Nancy Cole's five children. His three elder brothers, Eddie, Ike and Nat (twelve years Freddy's senior) were all musicians. In the Chicago home of his youth, visitors included Duke Ellington, Count Basie, and Lionel Hampton. After a possible career with the NFL was shelved due to a hand injury, he began playing and singing in Chicago clubs as a teenager. Although he was ready to hit the road at 18, his mother intervened and he continued his musi- cal education at the Roosevelt Institute in Chicago. Freddy moved to New York in 1951, where he studied at the Juilliard School of Music and found himself profoundly influenced by John Lewis, Oscar Peterson and Teddy Wilson. He got a Master's degree at the New England Conservatory of Music and then spent several months on the road as a member of an Earl Bostic band that also included Johnny Coles and Benny Golson. It was back in New York that Freddy successfully laid the groundwork for a career that continues to flourish to this day. He developed a vast repertoire of songs in Manhattan bistros and con- currently began to supplement his live performances with television and radio commercial jingle work. A resident of Atlanta, GA since 1972, he currently leads a trio made up of himself, guitarist Randy Napoleon, drummer Curtis Boyd and bassist Elias Bailey that regularly tours the US, Europe, the Far East and South

America. Cole will be at the Jazz

Corner on HIlton Head January 15&16. Freddy has been a recording artist since 1952, when his first single, The Joke's on Me, was released on an obscure Chicago-based label. Freddy recorded several albums for European and English companies during the 1970s that helped him develop a loyal overseas following. He developed a stand-up act, a better rapport with audiences, and learned

to sing in other languages.

Cole doesn't apologize for sounding like his brother, Nat “King” Cole. There are certain unmistakable similarities. He plays piano and sings and per-

forms live with guitar and upright bass, just like Nat. But he has emerged from the awesome shadow cast by his elder brother. In truth, his phrasing is far closer to that of Frank Sinatra or Billie Holiday than that of his brother. Cole's career continues to ascend as he has moved into the front ranks

of America's homegrown art form with

a style and musical sophistication all his own.

January

@ The

January @ The Hilton Head, SC 3rd- Villanova 4th- Tokyo Joe 5th- McFly 6th- Silicone Sister

Hilton Head, SC

3rd- Villanova 4th- Tokyo Joe 5th- McFly 6th- Silicone Sister 10th- Skinny 11th- Hooked On Tonics 12th- Corey Cup After Party *possibles- Cravin Melon Or Live Bait 17th- Deas Guyz 18th- Moonshine Jenny 19th- Fernando 24th- The Design formerly Sugar 25th- Sun Domingo 26th- The Gullah Roots

B’Town

5th- Tokyo Joe 12th- Sun Domingo 19th- The Unmentionables 26th- Silicone Sister

December @

December @ Wednesday :Craig Coyen Thursday : Martin Lesch Fridays : Craig Coyne Saturday : Spare

Wednesday :Craig Coyen Thursday: Martin Lesch Fridays : Craig Coyne Saturday : Spare Parts

✬❙❘●■

❀❊●▲

✭▼▼■ ❊❘❍ ✳❊☎ The Dixieland Jazz Society jams the last Sunday of every month @

✭▼▼■ ❊❘❍ ✳❊☎

The Dixieland Jazz Society jams the last Sunday of every month @ The Jazz Corner from 2-5pm. FREE

Friday Nights @

✽▲■☎✪ ▼❑❊❙ ✰▼

Friday Nights @ ✽▲■☎✪ ▼❑❊❙ ✰▼ ■ T o m m y Simms

Tommy Simms

✽❊❑■ ✽▲■☎✫❊❘❍
✽❊❑■ ✽▲■☎✫❊❘❍

Kingfisher on

Wed-7-10pm

Thu-Fri 8-12:30 @ The Mezzaluna

The Simpson Brothers @ the new XO Lounge Wed-Sat

The Simpson Brothers

@ the new XO Lounge Wed-Sat

December @

The Big

Bamboo

Mondays: Craig Coyne (solo) Wednesdays: Reggae w/Patwa Fridays: @ 7pm The Beagles 10.30pm The Aboriginals-Jesse Watkins and Corey 11/7 Angie Aparo

Mike Kavanaugh Thur Nights @ Hinchey’s @ 12

Mike

Kavanaugh

Thur Nights @ Hinchey’s @ 12

Sat nites this month @ ✽▲■☎✪ ▼❑❊❙☎✰▼ ■
Sat nites this month @
✽▲■☎✪ ▼❑❊❙☎✰▼ ■

HHI-8-midnight

Thu & Sat Nights @ Remy’s The Spare Parts

Thu & Sat Nights @ Remy’s

The Spare Parts

David Wingo Thur’s this month at the Kingfisher, HHI
David Wingo
Thur’s this month at the
Kingfisher, HHI
Sun’s B @ r i c k O v e Jessie Watkins n
Sun’s
B
@
r
i
c
k
O
v
e
Jessie Watkins
n
Reid Sun@ ‘round
Reid
Sun@
‘round

Richmond

Hinchey’s

Midnight

✼■ ▼❘☎✡ ✼●▲■■ Back this month on Wednesday @ The Electric Piano
✼■ ▼❘☎✡ ✼●▲■■
Back this month on Wednesday @
The Electric Piano
Beagles The Friday @ 7 The Big Bamboo
Beagles The
Friday @ 7
The Big Bamboo
✵❊❙❘■☎✡☎✵❙▼■ Thursday nights this month @ The Jazz Corner, HHI
✵❊❙❘■☎✡☎✵❙▼■
Thursday nights this month @
The Jazz Corner, HHI
Deas Guys Sundays nights this month @ The Jazz Corner-HHi

Deas Guys

Sundays nights this month @ The Jazz Corner-HHi

Grins: Ask A Simple Question

An Airline Pilot wrote that on one particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The Airline had a policy which required the First Officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our Airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a wise comment. Finally every- one had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the Pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we

shot down? snick-snick, go granny go!

Rail Trail #22 NOTICE As of December 25, 2009, there were over 200 sex offend-
Rail Trail #22 NOTICE As of December 25, 2009, there were over 200 sex offend-
Rail Trail #22
Rail Trail #22

NOTICE

As of December 25, 2009, there were over 200 sex offend- ers that hadn’t registered in the State of Georgia.

Parental Alerts

Rail’s Community Series re.

Name: KALLANSRUD, EARL Sexual Predator: No Sex: Male • Race: W • DOB: 1951-09-27 Ht: 6' 01" • Wt: 190 lbs. Eyes: Blue • Hair: Gray • Skin Tone: Fair Address: 17 BRANNON POINT ROAD OKATIE SC 29910 Criminal Charges • Offense:

Date of Conviction: 1997-08-06 Literal: INDECENT ASSAULT State: PA Age Of Victim: 05 Sex Of Victim: F Weapon: Sentence Release Date:

2006-12-23

Additional Identifiers Name(s): KALLANSRUD, EARL Registration Information Type of Registering Agency: SO Registration Due to Status Change:

2009-12-04

Date of Photograph: 2009-12-14 Date of Initial Registration: 2009-12-04

SO Registration Due to Status Change: 2009-12-04 Date of Photograph: 2009-12-14 Date of Initial Registration: 2009-12-04
SO Registration Due to Status Change: 2009-12-04 Date of Photograph: 2009-12-14 Date of Initial Registration: 2009-12-04
Registration Due to Status Change: 2009-12-04 Date of Photograph: 2009-12-14 Date of Initial Registration: 2009-12-04

Top scams

for 2010

Scam artists grew ever more sophis- ticated in 2009, moving away from spam emails and fast-talking telemar- keters towards a more "corporate" image. The old tried-and-true scams -- advance-fee loans, phony lotteries, "free" cruises -- have by no means dis- appeared but in 2009, clever mar- keters added a few new twists.

1. "Free Trials"

Who wouldn’t want a brighter smile, especially if it were cheap and easy? One common pitch is for a "free" trial- sized bottle of teeth whitener. The con- sumer provides credit card information to pay a $2 fee for shipping. You can guess the rest.

2, Foreclosure "Rescues"

Many scams depend on desperation to hook victims and perhaps nothing drives people to despair faster than the prospect foreclosure. The scammers charged desperate homeowners a large, up-front fee and told them not to contact their lender. In these scams, operators promise to either arrange for loan modifications or save it from fore- closure. They never do, however, and the homeowner loses their home.

3."Debt Settlement

If consumers are on the brink of los- ing their homes to foreclosure, chances are they are also drowning in debt – and prime targets for the debt settlement scam. The number of com- panies claiming they can settle con- sumers' debts for pennies on the dollar proliferated in the last year, leaving many victims poorer and deeper in debt.

4.Government “Stimulus”

In February, Congress passed and President Obama signed a $700 billion stimulus bill, a massive infusion of fed- eral spending that was designed to stimulate the economy. Almost imme- diately there appeared Internet ads with the president's smiling face, prom- ising consumers they could cash in and get a share of the loot. TV ads and millions of spam emails went out, promising the same thing. Thousands actually fell for it.

5. Acai Berry

The Acai Berry Scam is testament to the Oprah Effect. When the Queen of Talk expresses interest in a subject, it creates major buzz. So when Oprah devoted several of her shows to the powers of the acai berry to help control weight, scammers went into overdrive dealing “supplements.

of her shows to the powers of the acai berry to help control weight, scammers went
of her shows to the powers of the acai berry to help control weight, scammers went
of her shows to the powers of the acai berry to help control weight, scammers went