Pollock 1

Jason Pollock

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Instructor: Malcolm Campbell
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UWRT 1101
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October 9, 2014
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Scholarly Flashcards

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It was one of those late grueling nights during the third week of the second semester, my
Junior year of high school. I remember sitting down in my maroon office chair with my Carolina
Tarheel snuggie against my body. In my left hand I grasped my neon stack of vocabulary flash
cards while my right hand tightly held a cup of hazelnut coffee. I stared mindlessly at the
monitor, wondering how I could possibly fathom transforming my rough draft into a final
product worthy of an exemplary grade.
I quickly shuffled through the conglomeration of cards. Written neatly on the front side
of each card contained a scholarly word and underneath that word, a dichotomy which separated
into synonyms and antonyms of the specified word. On the back of the card was an easy to
understand definition and a sentence using the word. This methodology was my contrivance to
integrate a higher tier of vocabulary into my colloquial writing. Although arduous, it was a
prodigious way to achieve an expanse of vocabulary, greater than I previously had.
Earlier that year, the second day in the first semester of my junior year to be exact.
English III, my favorite as well as my best subject taught by, Mrs. Price, a short lady with frail,
but friendly face. Good, morning class, she said enthusiastically. I understand many of you
are sick and tired of vocabulary, but it is a part of the curriculum and we will memorize and

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study a set of twenty words and take a quiz on the words at the end of the each week. This is
great, I thought to myself. My vocabulary wasnt up to par and this was my opportunity to
learn a variety of new words.
The semester became a simplistic routine. Mrs. Price would pass out the set of
vocabulary words and then read aloud the correct pronunciation. This was my favorite time
during the class. During this time, I whipped out my neon flash cards and expeditiously copied
each word.
The flash cards became an enjoyable study tool, rather than an onerous chore. During
every class, I would would sit towards the back of the classroom and peruse through my cards
until I memorized them front to back. Each week my vocabulary grew. Not only did I memorize
the cards, but I incorporated the words I learned in my writings.
I specifically recollect our summer reading assignment during the second week of Mrs.
Prices class. We were assigned to articulate our perspective on questions related to the book,
Into the Wild. After that, we were required to comment on each others responses. Please be
respectful to your colleagues responses. This assignment is designed to give each other a better
understanding of the book. said Mrs. Price. Being competitive, I scrutinized the ideas of my
colleagues. I strongly disagree with your perspective on McCandless motive for going of on
his adventure. Chris McCandless deviated from the life of affluence and materialism because he
yearned to explore the ambiguity of the world that surrounded him, I commented towards one
of my colleagues.
The following day, Mrs. Price walked around the classroom to show us our grades. She
revealed my grade of a 100%. Right below the grade, there was a note that read, I loved how

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you incorporated the Unit 1 vocabulary in your in your responses and comments. After this
moment, the stack of vocabulary flash cards became a crutch to all of my writings. What I, as
well as many of my colleagues, viewed as scholarly writing was, in reality, a jumble of
confusion.
So there I was again, sitting in front of my desktop attempting to compose a writing
assignment for AP Language that appeared intellectual. This was our first writing assignment
for the class, and after staring at the screen for nearly thirty minutes and finishing my cup of
coffee, I began to shuffle through my reliable deck of 320 flash cards that I had created from the
previous semester. I looked at every word, pondering over how I was going incorporate these
scholarly words into my writing assignment. I nailed it. I incorporated a plethora of scholarly
words in my writing. How could Ms. Justice not like my writing, I thought to myself as I
stapled the paper.
A few weeks went by, and finally the day was here; it was the day we received the scores
to our essays. This is the first major writing assignment. Please do not be discouraged about
the grade received. This should be seen as a learning experience, said Ms. Justice. What do I
have to worry about? I spent a fair amount of time on this writing assignment, and I even took
the time to replace many of my weaker words with greater words, I thought to myself.
After much anticipation, she placed the writing on my desk. To my dismay, the grade
revealed an 84%, and on the back was an overall analysis of my writing. I skimmed down until I
saw a quote which read, Never use a large word when a diminutive one will suffice. How
could this be. Using larger words should make my writing more complex, therefore making it
better, I thought to myself.

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Later that night I read through the writing and came to realize that there was a lot of truth
to what she quoted. I myself, the person who wrote the essay, had trouble understanding what I
was attempting to articulate. The curtain was finally lifted from my eyes and for the first time I
saw the weakness in my writing. I came to the realization that my writing I was so focused on
sounding complex that it shifted from the main purpose, which was my purpose for writing.
I knew that at this point I need to alter the style of my writing. Towards the end of the
semester I devoted much of my time to focusing on my writing skills. After I developed the
rough draft to a writing assignment I would read over what I said. I would ask myself a few
questions, Does this make sense? Is this supporting my overall argument? Are the words that
Im using effectively support my writing?
Through the course of my junior year I realized that my attempt to impress my teachers
with the vocabulary I had learned was ineffective. Before receiving the constructive criticism
from my AP Language teacher, Ms. Justice, my writing failed to portray what I was actually
trying to say. This was a significant moment in my writing career where I came to the
understanding of how words should be used to convey my overall message, instead of being used
to embellish my writing.

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Peer Review

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Successes: I thought it was clever how your actual essay symbolized your transition in
vocabulary usage - you began the essay with a mass of advanced vocabulary and transitioned to
more practical words as you approached the conclusion.

Failures: It was a little confusing because you were jumping from one semester to the next
semester (Im assuming so since your teacher changes names). Your transitions sometimes seem
detached; try to make it flow better in the final draft.

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Successes: I like your consistent use of dialogue and thoughts. It makes me picture the whole
scene better.

Failures: Your introductory paragraph had a few run-on sentences. Mixed with the big words, it
makes the paragraph hard to understand.

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Successes:
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Lots of descriptive writing!

Use of vocabulary
Use of dialogue
Essay has a constant flow

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Failures:
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Some paragraphs you are repeating words twice in a row, for example,close to the end of the
essay with the paragraph about Ms.Justice you wrote I spent a fair amount of time on this
writing assignment and I even went on to replace many of many of the words with stronger
words. Its a couple more places in the essay where you have this mistake.

Introductory paragraph, explain exactly what you mean by transforming my rough draft into a
final product worthy of an exemplary grade In other words, explain to the reader what this
project was about.

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Other than those two small issues, your essay is great!