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 From Red Hot Sex to Love Addiction: The Best of
Scribd

Jed Diamond, Ph.D. has been a marriage and family counselor for the last 44
years. He is the author of 8 books, including Looking for Love in All the Wrong
Places, Male Menopause, and The Irritable Male Syndrome. He offers
counseling to men, women, and couples in his office in California or by phone
with people throughout the U.S. and around the world. To receive a Free E-book
on Men’s Health and a free subscription to Jed’s e-newsletter go to
www.MenAlive.com. If you are looking for an expert counselor to help with
relationship issues, write Jed@MenAlive.com.

I have had the privilege of writing for Scribd since July, 2009. I’ve posted 91
articles thus far with titles ranging from “Red Hot Sex: 8 Little Known Secrets to
a Lifetime of Passionate Love” to “Six Things You Must Do Immediately When
Capitalism Hits the Fan.” Thanks to Scribd’s data capture, I know which one’s
are the most popular—“Why Women Have Sex” (9,355 reads), “237 Reasons
Women Have Sex (8,611), and “25 Most Helpful Things Ever Said About Sex,
Love, and Relationships” (7,439). But which one was most helpful? That’s
where you come in. Please vote for the “most helpful article written by Jed
Diamond in 2009.”

Here are the most popular 25 articles. Please vote for the one you found
most helpful:

#1. Why Women Have Sex: 7 Surprising Questions Answered While figuring out what
women want has stumped men for centuries, understanding how they think about sex may
have just gotten easier. Cindy Meston and David Buss, psychologists at the University of
Texas, interviewed over 1,000 women around the world for their book Why Women Have
Sex and managed to come up with 237 reasons, ranging from the predictable —
commitment — to the puzzling — curing a headache. I’ve known David Buss for more
than 20 years and find his research to be some of the most important in understanding
why men and women are the way we are. Teaming up with Cindy Meston, who
specializes in female sexuality, is sure to expand their understanding of sex, love, and
intimacy. Spoiler alert: love may be further down on the list than one might think. TIME
spoke to Buss about the myriad mind games, turn-ons and turn-offs involved in female
sexuality, and what a guy can do to stand a chance. I look forward to your comments and
questions. Jed@MenAlive.com www.MenAlive.com

#2 237 Reasons Why Women Have Sex What makes a woman want to have sex? Is it
physical attraction? Love? Loneliness? Jealousy? Boredom? Painful menstrual cramps?
Are there really 237 reasons why women have sex? Could there be more? Psychologists
Cindy Meston and David Buss, both professors at the University of Texas at Austin,
decided that the topic of "why women have sex" deserved a book of its own. They've
woven scientific research together with a slew of women's voices in their new
collaborative work, Why Women Have Sex published September 29 by Times Books. I
first met David Buss in 1992 at a conference on Evolutionary Psychology where he was
presenting his research on his new book, The Evolution of Desire: Strategies for Human
Mating. In his new book, he and his co-author focus their attention on women. Many
women interviewed were having sex purely because they wanted the experience. It turns
out that woman have sex for all of these reasons and more, and that their choices are not
arbitrary; there may be evolutionary explanations at work. "We do bring in men
occasionally by way of contrast, but we wanted to focus exclusively on women so that the
complexity of women's sexual psychology was not given the short shrift, so to speak,"
said Buss, a leading evolutionary psychologist. The authors conducted a study from June
2006 to April 2009 that asked women whether they had ever had sex for one of 237
reasons, all of which had emerged in a previous study. About 1,000 women contributed
their perspectives. It turns out that women's reasons for having sex range from love to
pure pleasure to a sense of duty to curiosity to curing a headache. Some women just want
to please their partners, and others want an ego boost. I look forward to hearing your
responses and comments.
#3 The 25 Most Helpful Things Ever Said About Love, Marriage, and Relationships As a
psychotherapist I have been helping people find, keep, and develop healthy loving
relationships for more than 40 years now. Carlin and I have been married (third marriage
for each of us) for 30 years. It hasn’t always been easy but it has always been
enlightening. I’d like to share some words of wisdom that have been helpful to us along
the way. Here are the 25 most helpful things that wise men and women have shared on the
subject of love, marriage, and relationship and how to have happy and long-lasting ones. I
look forward to your comments. Please add your own words of wisdom.
#4 10 Most Important Reasons Women Have Sex, Including the Best Reason, #10 After
completing a world-wide study on why people have sex, psychologists Cindy Meston and
David Buss, found that there were 237 reasons. Here are the 10 most important reasons
women have sex. They've woven scientific research together with a slew of women's
voices in their new collaborative work, Why Women Have Sex published September 29
by Times Books. "We do bring in men occasionally by way of contrast, but we wanted to
focus exclusively on women so that the complexity of women's sexual psychology was
not given the short shrift, so to speak," said Buss, a leading evolutionary psychologist.
The authors conducted a study from June 2006 to April 2009 that asked women whether
they had ever had sex for one of 237 reasons, all of which had emerged in a previous
study. About 1,000 women contributed their perspectives.
#5 What Women Really Say About Penis Size and Sexual Satisfaction I counsel men and
women every day who are concerned about improving their sex lives. One of the
questions men (and women) often ask about is penis size. What women really think about
size may surprise you. Most males, at some time in their lives, worry about whether they
are “big enough.” Many women also wonder is bigger better. My friend Dr. David Buss
and his colleague Dr. Cindy Meston wrote a wonderful book, Why Women Have Sex.
They discuss penis size and sexual satisfaction. Research studies show that size does
matter and width may be more important than length in determining what women enjoy
sexually.
#6 The 5 Secrets of True Love: Are You Ready to Learn Them? I have been counseling
men and women for the last 44 years. There are many concerns people bring, but most of
them are related to their desire to have a relationship where they can feel loved and where
they can share their love. As someone who has been married three times (third time was
definitely the charm for Carlin and me), I’m always looking for ways to improve our
relationship and share our insights with others. Here’s what I’m learning these days. Thich
Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk and internationally known author, poet,
scholar, and peace activist who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin
Luther King Jr. I’ve always appreciated his perspectives on meditation and life. When I
recently found a small volume titled True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, I
was sure I’d uncovered a gem. His words, thoughts, and feelings have enriched my
understanding and practice of love. There are five simple practices that we can all put into
effect if we want more love in our lives.
#7 25 Most Helpful Things Ever Said About Men, Masculinity, and Marriage I’ve been
helping men and the women who love them for 44 years now. My recent offering, "The
25 Most Helpful Things That Have Been Said About Love, Marriage, and Relationship",
was very well received. Since I specialize in working with men, I thought you’d
appreciate this collection of wisdom. My father tried to commit suicide when I was five
years old. He recovered, but my life was never the same. I went to medical school, then
graduate school. I think I’ve been trying, on some level, to understand what happened to
my father so that I can be a better father to my sons and daughter, a better husband to my
wife, and a better friend to myself. My first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man,
was published in 1983. In the introduction I wrote, “The Women’s Movement first helped
me question the roles we had all built our lives upon. It stimulated a desire to have the
support of men who were going through similar changes. I joined a men’s group and
received tremendous help and insight.”
#8 7 Little Known Secrets for Making Money and Saving the World on Scribd Scribd is
the largest social publishing company in the world — the website where more than 60
million people each month discover and share original writings and documents. Scribd’s
vision is to liberate the written word — to turn everyone into a publisher and create the
best possible reading experience on the web and mobile platforms. Many people have
heard about Scribd but not everyone knows how to use Scribd to greatest advantage.
Would you like to learn how to use Scribd to make money and to make a difference in the
world? Would you like to know the 7 steps for doing this simply and easily? If so, this e-
book is for you. Two months ago I’d never heard of Scribd. Now, I’m making money on
Scribd and reaching millions of people world-wide. I believe that everyone has something
to offer the world. We can all make a difference. Scribd is a wonderful place to be. Come
learn how you can get involved. For more information contact Jed Diamond, Ph.D at
Jed@MenAlive.com
#9 25 Most Important Things Ever Said About Women, Sex, and Love After 44 years
helping men and women achieve more satisfying and joyful relationships, I’ve
accumulated some helpful wisdom. I’ve written about the 25 Most Important Things
About Men and 25 Most Important Things About Sex, Love, and Marriage. Here’s some
wisdom about women, sex, and love. It may be presumptuous for a man to be writing
about what’s important about women. But, let’s be honest, men are very interested in
women, as I know women are interested in men. But I would very much like to hear from
you. Which of the 25 I’ve suggested do you find helpful, be you male or female? Do you
have quotes you’d like to add? I look forward to your feedback and comments. P.S. These
didn’t make it on to the top 25, but I liked them, nonetheless. “Maybe I could have loved
you better. Maybe you should have loved me more. Maybe our hearts were just next in
line. Maybe everything breaks sometime.” --Singer, songwriter, Jewel "I wish he had
actually died -- it would be much easier," an abandoned woman said to Bruce Schell,
author of Whom God Has Joined. “A literal death would have led to grief but much less
the feeling of rejection, and would have provided a context in which social support would
have occurred.” “I don't think you ever stop giving. I really don't. I think it's an on-going
process. And it's not just about being able to write a check. It's being able to touch
somebody's life.” --Oprah Winfrey “Descended from monkeys? My dear, let us hope it
isn’t true! But if it is true, let us hope that it doesn’t become widely known.” --wife of the
Bishop of Worcester, 1860, on being told of the scandalous work of Charles Darwin “We
must make a commitment to ourselves, not in being right, but in commitment to aliveness
and therefore to a passionate self. Such a commitment then requires an understanding of
the male and female (yin-yang, receptive-aggressive) energies inside each individual. The
nature of commitment to self is the ownership of the intuitive-feminine as director and the
use of the masculine energy to back up your intuitive with words, behavior, logic, and
aggression.” --Shirley Gehrke Luthman, Collection 1979. “Women are in league with
each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones.” ~Camille Paglia
#10 Love Addiction for Women Only (and Men Who Really Want to Understand): A
Feminist Perspective When I wrote the book, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places,
in 1980, no one had ever hear of “sex” or “love” addiction. The idea that someone could
get hooked on relationships was unheard of, something that didn’t seem possible. Yet,
more and more people came to realize that we can get as hooked on sex, love, or
relationships, as we can on cocaine, heroin, or gambling. This one of a number of booklets
I wrote to help people understand these problems, particularly women. They are not
polished and well edited, but rather are personal, honest, and written from my experience,
both as a therapist and someone who has dealt with sex and love addiction in his own
relationships. Most of the issues I wrote about then, are equally true now. I look forward
to your feedback and comments. If you ever asked yourself, “Is it love, or is it addiction,”
this booklet is for you. "Addiction is not an abnormality in our society. It is not an
aberration from the norm; it is itself the norm. " --Stanton Peele, Ph.D. You can reach me
here or write me at Jed@MenAlive.com

#11 Why Women Have Sex: Booty Calls, Sugar Daddies, and Friends-With-Benefits In
their book, Why Women Have Sex, Cindy Meston and David Buss found that sexual
economics plays a role in feminine desire. “I basically was a glorified ‘sugar baby’ for
one relationship,” a 25 year-old woman told the researchers. “I slept with one of my
professors. I received a lot of attention academically and the man gave me tens of
thousands of dollars’ worth of books. I didn’t feel guilty or anything. To me, the books
were a bonus and really, he would have given me items anyway because I was his
research assistant and his friend. I always wondered why people believed that this was
unethical and borderline illegal as prostitution. He was a great lover, so he didn’t need to
give me anything.” According to Meston and Buss, “A ‘sugar baby’ is a woman who
offers her time, company, and usually sex to a financially well-off men (her ‘sugar
daddy’), who in turn takes care of the woman financially—covering many, and sometimes
all of her expenses.”
#12 34 Books You Must Get Immediately To Survive and Thrive When Civilization Hits
the Fan “This is the end of the world as we’ve known it,” says Kurt Andersen in Time
Magazine’s cover story April 6, 2009. “But it isn’t the end of the world.” We are at a
critical point in human history and millions of men and women are preparing for the
greatest change of their lives. “People don’t seem to realize it that it is not like we’re on
the Titanic and we have to avoid the iceberg,” says Rob Watson, CEO and Chief Scientist
of The EcoTech International Group, who Pulitizer-Prize winning author Tom Friedman
calls one of the best environmental minds in America. “We’ve already hit the iceberg. The
water is rushing in down below. But some people just don’t want to leave the dance floor;
others don’t want to give up on the buffet. But if we don’t make the hard choices, nature
will make them for us.” Like the massive luxury ocean liner that most believed
unsinkable, the Ship of Civilization has struck a lethal “iceberg” with economic
dislocations, peak oil, climate change, and environmental destruction, causing people
throughout the world to be thrown into unknown and turbulent waters. Though frightening
at first, the decision to abandon the old Ship of State for a new, more sustainable way of
life, can be the most exciting adventure of our lifetime.
#13 Is It Love or "Love" Addiction? We all want to have a sexy, intimate, loving
relationship that lasts forever. But many of us get "hooked" on relationships that are
dysfunctional. Instead of finding love we find "love" addiction. But what is love
addiction? How does it differ from healthy love? For the first time, Dr. Jed Diamond,
author of Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: Overcoming Romantic and Sexual
Addictions, gives you a detailed comparison of the differences between healthy love and
"love" addiction. This will be of value to everyone who is in a relationship now, has ever
been in a relationship, or ever hopes to be in one. For more information contact Dr. Jed
Diamond at www.MenAlive.com
#14 Be Stress-Free Forever: 5 Simple Steps According to the New England Journal of
Medicine, 75%-90% of all doctor and hospital visits are linked to stress-related ailments
and stress-related disorders. As a psychotherapist, I have been helping people deal with
the stresses in their lives for more than 40 years. Over that time I have found there are a
few techniques that everyone can use to reduce stress and live more joyfully. Stress is
when you are worried about getting laid off from your job, or worried about having
enough money to pay your bills, or worried about what kind of future your children will
have, or whether your parents will be dependent on you as they age. In fact, for most of
us, stress is synonymous with worry. If it is something that makes us worry, then it is
stressful. However, our bodies have a much broader definition of stress. To our body,
stress is synonymous with change. It doesn't matter if it is a "good" change, or a "bad"
change, they are both stressful. We can’t stop stress, nor would we want to, but we can
learn skills to handle stress more effectively.
#15 Male vs. Female Depression: Why Men Act Out and Women Act In Most studies that
have been conducted world-wide indicate that women suffer from depression at twice the
rate of men. Yet males commit suicide at rates are much higher than females. This study
sought to develop a new diagnostic scale to better diagnose depression in males. The
study found that men tend to "act out" their depression and women tend to "act in." This is
a summary of findings. For more information contact the author, Dr. Jed Diamond, at
Jed@MenAlive.com
#16 You vs Stress and Illness: 5 Secrets for Winning the Wellness Battle They say that
stress is a killer. But most of us don't interpret that literally. We know that stress is bad for
our health, but few of us are aware of the role it can play in producing such real killers as
heart attacks and strokes. "A critical shift in medicine has been the recognition that many
of the damaging diseases of slow accumulation can either be caused or made far worse by
stress," writes Robert M. Sapolsky, author of the critically acclaimed Why Zebras Don't
Get Ulcers. "Stress can wreak havoc with your metabolism, raise your blood pressure,
burst your white blood cells, make you flatulent, ruin your sex life, and if that's not
enough, possibly damage your brain." What's important to remember, writes Sapolsky, a
professor of biological science and neuroscience at Stanford University, is that effectively
managing your stress can be a powerful weapon against serious illness. In a landmark
study, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe examined the medical records of
over 5,000 medical patients as a way to determine whether stressful events might cause
illnesses. A positive correlation was found between their life events and their illnesses.
Learn how you can better handle the stresses in your life so that you can live long and
well. Your comments and questions are welcome.
#17 Depression, Gender, and Suicide: A Research Study on Male/Female Differences in
Depression “Women seek help—men die.” This conclusion was drawn from a study of
suicide prevention by Angst & Ernst. They found that 75% of those who sought
professional help in an institution for suicide prevention were female. Conversely 75% of
those who committed suicide in the same year were male. Since depression is a significant
risk factor for suicide and men receive less treatment for depression than do women, it is
vitally important that we have a better understanding of the way depression manifests
itself in males. Failure to diagnose and treat depression can lead to significantly increased
morbidity and mortality. This is one of the few studies to examine the concept of a “male
depressive syndrome” with symptoms such as irritability, anger, alcohol use, which differ
from typical symptoms experienced by women. A new depression scale was developed,
the Diamond Male Depression Scale, that can more accurately access depression in males
than traditional scales. For more information contact: Jed Diamond, Ph.D. at
Jed@MenAlive.com or visit my website at www.MenAlive.com. Comments and
questions are welcome.

#18 Tiger Transgresses: 5 Little Known Secrets To Why Good Men Cheat I’ve been
asked repeatedly in the last few days, “Why would a man who has everything—A
beautiful wife, loving family, a fortune estimated at $1 billion—endanger it all to have
affairs with women that don’t hold a candle to his wife? What’s going on here?” Golfer
Tiger Woods, engulfed in media speculation over his private life after a car accident in the
middle of the night, apologized on Wednesday for "transgressions" in a statement that
apparently addressed allegations he had extra-marital relationships. Woods, the world's
number one golfer and a married father of two young children, said in a statement
published on his website that he had "not been true to my values and the behavior my
family deserves," without directly addressing the allegations of infidelity. "I have let my
family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart," Woods said.
#19 Be Happy Forever! 7 Not So Simple Steps We all want to be happy and are looking
for simple steps to getting there, yet scientific evidence makes it seem unlikely that you
can change your level of happiness in any sustainable way. Sad people don’t become
lastingly happy and happy people don’t become lastingly sad. But new research shows us
all how to find lasting happiness. In his book, Authentic Happiness: Using the New
Positive Psychology to Realize your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment, Martin Seligman,
the father of happiness research tells us, “The pursuit of happiness is enshrined in the
Declaration of Independence as a right of all Americans, as well as on the self-
improvement shelves of every American bookstore.” But achieving lasting happiness isn’t
easy. Scientific evidence suggests that we each have a fixed range for happiness just as we
do for weight. “New research into happiness,” says Seligman, “demonstrates that it can be
lastingly increased. And a new movement, Positive Psychology, shows how you can come
to live in the upper reaches of your set range of happiness.” I look forward to your
comments and feedback.
#20 5 Little Known Secrets for Saving Yourself From an Abusive Relationship "I read
your book and I believe my husband is suffering from irritable male syndrome and male-
type depression. He’s angry all the time and blames me for everything that is wrong. He
calls me names, yells at me, looks at me with such hatred, I want to disappear. He’s never
hit me, but I’m afraid of him. "He totally denies that there are any problems with him.
When he gets mad he calls me a bitch and a lot worse and tells me I’m crazy and should
be hospitalized. "His beliefs get reinforced by his family who also denies that there is
anything wrong with him, though they’ve seen how angry and abusive he can be. They
tell me that he wasn’t depressed before he married me so it must be me that is the
problem. "I love my husband with all my heart and I want to get him the help he needs. I
know that he must be suffering. If he would just acknowledge the problem I’m sure we
could work things out. Can you help me get through to him? SL. I get calls and e-mails
regularly from women who are sure their partner is suffering from irritable male
syndrome. They describe, in detail, his irritability and rage. They often tell me that he’s
been verbally or physically abusive. Most go on to tell me that they love their husband
and want to do everything they can to help him so that they can return to the kind of good
relationship they remember having before he got IMS.
#21 6 Things You Must Do Immediately When Capitalism Hits the Fan I’ve been helping
people live long and well for more than 40 years and more and more of us have the
feeling that something is “hitting the fan” and it may just be our entire economic system.
We listen to the President and hope for change, but are concerned that we need a major
overhaul, not just a fine-tuning of the system. What’s going on in the world? University of
Massachusetts Economics Professor Richard Wolff, author of the soon to be released
book, When Capitalism Hits the Fan, breaks down the root causes of today's economic
crisis, showing how it was decades in the making and in fact reflects seismic failures
within the structures of American-style capitalism itself. I look forward to your thoughts
and comments.
#22 You vs. Swine Flu: 3 Little Known Secrets for Using Social Networks to Save Lives
The mutation of the H1N1 virus into a more lethal form could make it as deadly this fall
as the Spanish Flu was in 1918 and 1919. But there was no Scribd, Twitter, Facebook, or
Skype during the Spanish Flu which killed 50 to 100 million people. During the Spanish
Flu pandemic the population was only about a third of today's. Now we have 6.8 billion
people on the planet and more than half of us live in crowded cities. A New England
Journal of Medicine article "Urbanization--An Emerging Humanitarian Disaster" argues
that this transition to urban living "threatens to create a humanitarian disaster". Institute
for Alternative Futures, IAF, pandemic simulations raise questions about how effective a
public health strategy which relies largely on vaccines will really be. So finding other
means, such as a modern day quarantine approach, is important. Social Networks can save
lives. Read this article and learn how. I look forward to your comments. Jed Diamond,
Ph.D. Jed@Menalive.com www.MenAlive.com
#23 7 Things You Must Do Immediately if He Threatens to Leave As stress continues to
increase in our lives many women are blind-sided by men who suddenly announce they
are unhappy and want to leave their long-term relationship. What's going on? Why do
men suddenly feel they must leave in order to be happy? What can women do to save their
relationship and understand what is going on? As a therapist working with men and the
women who love them for more than 40 years, I have the answers you need. I invite you
to comment and ask questions.
#24 Red Hot Sex: 8 Little Known Secrets For A Lifetime of Passion and Love Everyone
wants a great sex life, but few people know how to achieve it and even fewer know how
to maintain it in a long-term relationship. Couple’s try new positions and look for “sexy”
things to wear. They try to improve their communication and relationship skills. They try
and heal the wounds from their past. But to really have a great sex life you have to know
the secrets of what it means to be male and female. And learn the dance of creative
emotional attachment.
#25 From Irritable Male to Run Away Husband: Anatomy of a Mid-life Marriage
Meltdown When I wrote The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the
4 Key Causes of Aggression and Depression, the primary impetus was to help mid-life
marriages survive and thrive. As a psychotherapist who has been helping men, and the
women who love them, for the last 44 years, I was saddened to see so many relationships
fall apart just at the time when the couple should be enjoying the benefits of their many
years together. This booklet details the 4 primary symptoms of IMS as well as the 4 key
causes. It helps men and women understand what is going on inside the mind of men
today and offers real wisdom for making your relationship the best it can be. For more
information, please contact me at Jed@MenAlive.com I look forward to your comments,
questions, and thoughts.

To receive a Free E-book on Men’s Health and a free subscription to Jed’s e-

newsletter go to www.MenAlive.com. If you are looking for an expert counselor
to help with relationship issues, write Jed@MenAlive.com