December 28, 2012

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Newspaper
Gan: Cold, hot, Id zip

December 28, 2012

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although its the winter time,
weve had some success. I water
them with warm water in the
mornings because otherwise itll
be too cold for them, and when
it gets too windy out then Ill
bring them in to stay safe. Last
night was the big day, and I
plucked off the first bright red
little guy. He was perfectly ripe
and amazing. Best tomato ever.

Reaping the
Vegetable of My
Labor

time, and all enjoyed it,

especially Shir, who looked at
me with a big smile during the
last piece and said, Its not over
yet! That nights schedule got
messed up, so once more I did
not go to The Fantasticks, but
maybe well hear about it from
Halleli, who did. Welcome
Zack, and looking forward to
welcoming
the
incoming
crowds!

I Erea Baya Erlrie,

Trefn Bnevti I Ofe

Ejpd Gadagsa Ocfw

By Danny Wexler
Although we dont have the
ideal agricultural conditions, we
decided to give it a shot and
follow whats been established
as a Koolyk and Wexler
tradition. Using our porch for
both space and sunlight, we set
up our seeds and soil and waited
expectantly. Not much happened
at first, but soon enough we had

Eener ae Afsin Rle

little sprouties that we were very

proud of. We took care of them
as much as possible, showering
them with love and water, and
we even got our friends to
babysit for us when we were
gone.
Unfortunately,
the
cucumbers only produced leaves
and the nana didnt do quite so
well. Fortunately we had a
backup. Cherry tomatoes! And

Page 1

By Savta Sharonah Rabinowitz

Rebecca and Gavriel came for
lunch to Bin Nun 2 last Shabbat
and brought three new things:
firstly, Chisda, making his first
Shabbat visit; secondly, the new
game that Fran and Reuben sent
for Chanukah; and lastly,
mandel bread that Rebecca had
made from a new recipe. All
three were great hits: Chisda
behaved beautifully, the game
caused a lot of yelling and
laughing, and the cookies
disappeared down to the last
crumb. Saturday night Ayelet
and Danny didnt get to see the
K-Fs or eat any mandel bread,
but they did join another noisy
round of the game. Other noise
of this week, albeit more
harmonious, was Wednesdays
concert. Ayelet HaShachar, Avi,
Lavi and Shir got to go this

By Danielle Aaron
This past Sunday Adam and I,
and Joshie, Sarah and Cindy all
went to Suffern to spend time
with Naomi before she leaves
back to Israel. And also just to
see the family. Cindy was at her
cutest ever, highlighted by me
pretending to sweep up Cindy
with my dustpan and her saying
What do you think I am?
Garbage? She is adorable. She
kept asking Sabba to play
Settlers with her, which I find
just amazing. Rachel made
cupcakes for Sarahs birthday,
which we got to stare at all day
until the fast was over. We
didnt really want to stay too
late, but then everyone started
whipping up amazing foods for
breaking the fast, so of course
we had to wait around. Imma
prepared a feast of pizza and
eggplant, and Naomi made a
weird mango chutney and fish
concoction which actually ended
up being amazing. Monday
night we got out early from
work, and Tuesday was no
work, so we went to a movie on
Monday night with two other
couples from our neighborhood.
I suggested we go to this theater
that they redid and is supposed
to be amazing, so the plan was

December 28, 2012

to meet there. Another couple
got there before us and texted
me asking if Im sure its the
right place because it looks very
shady. I said I heard its gross
on the outside but nice on the
inside and I was right! The
theater had these amazing huge
leather red reclining seats that

you were able to recline all the

way back. We decided next time
we go that we will bring pillows
and blankets and it will be
amazing. The movie itself was
not so amazing, so please, no
one see This is 40. Tuesday we
just spent a relaxing day at
home, and now its back to work
for a boring week, because most
people arent in this week.
Shabbat Shalom!

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came along with us and lucky
for him or he would never have

learned the amazing game that is

Times Up. Apparently the
Teaneck Koolyks brought it and
its probably the best game ever.
Tali, Eitan and I were quite a
team against the Wexler
brothers and I think we won but
Im not sure. Ill bet Tali knows.
Also we gave Eitan an amazing
tattoo on his arm and he was just
lovin it. The rest of my week
was a lot less exciting with just
work,
work,
work.
One
interesting part of my week was
when Mordy brought in a yoga
ball saying that it was going to
be his new chair. On his recent
trip to America he went to see
this company and the CEO was
sitting on a yoga ball and said
its really good for your back.

Lmfa I Has Iovd Diw

By Ayelet Wexler
My head is seriously pounding
and fluids are flying from my
nose like a log flume, but Abba
has sent me a million 0 emails
saying that nobody is writing, so
I guess Ill write a little
something. Last Shabbos we
went to Efrat because one of
Dannys cousins is moving to
America. We decided to sleep at
Sharonahs
Saturday
night
because I was working in
Jerusalem on Sunday. Benjy

Mordy brought his ball in

without air and said were
having a field trip to the gas
station. It was quite a hilarious
sight with us by the bike pump
thing which just gives a tiny bit
of air every two seconds and I
had to keep pushing the button.
Then these two guys came and

Page 2
brought us to the car fixing
place with a huge pump thing
and the ball was filled in five
seconds. Mordy actually hates
sitting on the ball and now its
just stuffed into our office and
he pulls it out every once in a
while to do stretches in the hall.
And Avi, this bald guy, joined
him the other day which was
quite a sight. Other than that,
slow week at Rapaport. Lucky
for me Mordy was supposed to
fly to India on Wednesday but
just changed his flight to Sunday

night. Party time! Anyways,

gotta finish getting ready for our
Shabbos guests, Tali and veganannoying-head Marc. Thanks to
Danny were just about ready
because he has been working
hard while his wife has been
moaning and groaning. Shabbat
shalom everyone. P.S. Naomi
should really be here already,
its odd.

Ausicail Rtevstk Nss, No

Jee, Ill Isel!
By Tali Koolyk
Another week without a phone
has gone by and it is pretty
annoying. Aaron, how did you
do it? Ayelet had to call the
physiotherapist to make an
appointment for me while we

December 28, 2012

chatted on Gchat. And I arrived
to my appointment a few
minutes late and he was freaking
out, calling Ayelet and making
her call people to find out where
I
am.
Anyway,
the
physiotherapist is very nice and
said that Dovi is a special guy.
Yay Dovi! He gave me a
workout routine to be doing for
an hour, four times a week, and
Ive already done it twice, so
thats good news. And I have
switched to only using one
crutch, as this physio dude told
me I should, so thats been
good.
Today
for
our
neurological treatments class,
we went to Beit Levinstein a
big rehab hospital place for
people with all kinds of things
like strokes or traumatic brain
injuries. The two teachers who
teach us that class work there
and one is the head of all the
physio. We had to wear our new
white coats, so that was the first
time for us which was cool. I
was not thrilled to be walking
around there with my crutch and
basically everyone in my class
made some joke to me at some
point like Should I call a
physiotherapist to help you? or
Are you hospitalized here? By
the end of the day I was just
rolling my eyes at people and
not even giving them a little
smile or nod. We saw some
treatments being done and then
we all watched my teacher do an
examination on this awesome
guy who had a stroke a few
weeks ago. I felt bad for him
because there were 50 of us and
everyone was saying all the
different things that are wrong
with him, but he actually
seemed to be enjoying himself.
Abba really wanted me to write
a long article this week, but
unfortunately this is pretty much
all Ive got. Tomorrow Im
going to Givat Shmuel to Ayelet
and Dannys for Shabbat. Yay!
Shabbat Shalom everyone!

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Esrtuod al Crousp
By Miri Koolyk
Reading week has begun and the
end is in sight. Right now, early
reading week, is actually the
best part, because it is after the
collection of assignments due
pre-reading week and before the
crunching time of late reading
week. And while I have gotten
some studying in (Tali even
requested that I write an article
about electrochemistry - sorry
Tali), I have also had time for
some adventures.
On motzei Shabbat I signed
myself up for the last spot in a
free CPR class that was to take
place the next morning at shul. I
thought it would be a casual
tutorial because they called it a
laymans class, but figured it
was a good idea because, you
know,
what
if
someone
collapses near me one day? So I
was extra pleased when I got
there and saw that we would be
getting certified. We practiced
on dummies. Five cycles of
thirty seconds of fast-paced
compressions is a lot more of a
workout than it looks like, as I
quickly discovered. There are a
bunch of steps to remember in
CPR, including things like
checking to see if the person is
responding to you. That
provided for some entertainment
because it looks a bit ridiculous
when people are kneeling down
next to dummies, shaking them,
and shouting Are you OK?!
Are you OK?? Especially
because everyone was all
serious and mature about the
dummies.
I was disappointed that there
was no Frisbee game this
Sunday due to the fast (also
about the siege on Jerusalem). I
made it up to myself by deciding
to go for my first ice skating of
the winter on Wednesday. The
rink is in midtown, and as I was

Page 3
headed to SCW to study
anyway, I brought along my
skates. There were, however, a
number of obstacles in my way,
and I wasnt sure if I would
make it to skating. First of all, I
once
again
forgot
the
combination to my Master Lock,
which I would need for a cubby
for my shoes and bag. You may
remember from the last article I
wrote about forgetting my
combination that there are
64,000 possible codes on every
lock. I tried following a standard
procedure for narrowing that
down to 80 possible codes, but
gave up before I made it
halfway through. Not wanting to
let locklessness deter me, I
decided to just put my shoes in
an empty locker and hope that
no one would take them.
The other obstacle was that by
the time I was ready to go,
heavy, wet snow was coming
down hard. Though it is an
outdoor rink, they said they
were open, and so I set off. A
few scenarios went through my
head: I would get there just in
time to see them usher the last
skater off the rink; I would get
there but get so soaked that I
would wish I hadnt come, and
then discover that my shoes had
been stolen and have to walk
back to SCW in my skates; or, I
hoped, I would get there and
enjoy a spacious rink all to
myself, being the only crazy
person to want to ice skate in the
freezing cold, wet storm. What I
did not expect was to get there
and encounter a veritable line of
crazy people who wanted to ice
skate in the freezing cold, wet
storm. But having come this far,
I wasnt about to head back, and
after a short wait, I made it onto
the rink.
In the end, I was glad I came
because it was a nice skate.
True, for half of every circle I
made there were icy bits
pelleting my face, and true, the

December 28, 2012

rink floor was a cross between
ice and snow. But there was also
something nice about circling
round and round in that white
winter downpour. When I felt
the moisture penetrating past my
coat it seemed like it was time to
go, and I headed back, WBH.
Todays adventures were in
electrochemistry, as the whole
day was spent studying away in
the library. I did find a few
friendly faces up there on the
fifth floor though, including that
of Jeremy, who picked me up
for dinner in the caf and even
gave
me
our
Awesome
Twosome leftovers to take
home. GRWHBA.

Olott, Dlhlr
Naonn
By Naomi Molly Koolyk
Mother alerted me on Friday
that I would be coming home
from Queens to a huge flood and
I better be prepared to do some
major Wet-Vaccing. Which, I
would soon find out, is a huge
vacuum that sucks up water
from the carpet into a big bucket
thing. I was not thrilled about
this because I heard stories
about last flood, and Mother
makes it seem like it was like a
war scene with Alyssa passed
out there, Tali bruised up, no
one could walk because their
back hurt so much. So you can
imagine I was quite nervous.
Saturday night we geared up to
get some Wet-Vaccing done. It
wasnt as bad as I thought
because I would just use the
suction of the vacuum as the
force to keep me grounded and I
would lean back on my heels as
if I was water skiing, that kind
of stance. I obviously did not
pick the right season to visit in
because after our flood situation
there was a snowstorm and I

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was once again drafted on board
to help. Abba said I didnt need
to but Imma made me feel bad
by saying hell kill himself, so
off I was to gear up in my boots
once again. Thank G-d I brought
those boots to America with me;
Imma thought that was a waste
of space. So I put on the classic
three layers of pants and two
sweatshirts and boots, gloves,
scarves and huge puffy coat.
And obviously two minutes after
I started shoveling I was
sweating my brains out in all
those layers. And I always know
Im going to be in that toobundled-up-sweating stage but
for some reason I never learn.
Abba was a top notch shoveler
even though he got stuck with
the horrible shovel and mine
was the awesome special kind
that makes your back not hurt,
but thats what you get for not
waiting for Imma to show you
where the good gear is.
Anyways, then I came inside all
itchy from the freezing, then
sweating fiasco, and I couldnt
feel my fingers. I am not cut out
for this weather. The next day at
Wesley Kosher Abba actually
came around with the car to pick
me up because I couldnt make
it from the store to the car from
fear of freezing to death. Today
I did brave the weather for a bit
though. I was sitting at the
kitchen table Skyping with
Aryeh and I was looking outside
at the snowy hill in the backyard
and I thought to myself that this
may be one of my last chances
this year to go sledding. So I
asked him if he would like to see
me sled down the hill perhaps.
He thought it was a great idea,
as I would definitely look like
an idiot out there by myself. So I
ran downstairs to get one of
those circle sleds that you just
fly down on, the ones that are
just more expensive garbage can
lids. And I faced the computer
towards me so he could see and

Page 4
I wouldnt feel like I was
sledding completely alone, and
off I was. I did get stuck a bit
and had to move over a bit more
for a better hill area, but in that
area you run the risk of hitting
into the deck poles when you get
to the bottom. After some selfpushes I made it to the bottom
and obviously crashed into the
deck. But at least now I can say
I went sledding this winter so
woohoo.

Ueclrya a Fat Ylte

Every Friday Abba celebrates
Rosha Homa, a Jewish holiday
during the winter months when
sunset is early and everybody
has to rush home. But last
Friday he left very early, as
Imma called him to say that the
basement was flooded by the
recent rain. Abba realized that
probably explained why Bubbe
had called moments before
offering to trade floors. Just
kidding, she really didnt. Abba
helped by vacuuming with the
big water vacuum, just as he
helped Naomi later in the week
to use the dishwasher. Naomi
couldnt figure out how to make
the soap stay in its place, so
Abba suggested just closing the
door fast so she wouldnt see it
spill. The basement is pretty dry
now, and Danielle and Joshie
can stop worrying that theyll be
asked to help and can now
answer their phones once again.
Alyssa called and actually
inquired whether they had phone
service. The basement floors are
now very clean, and they didnt
even have to try Abbas
suggestion of leaving the
vacuum on all night stuck on
one part of the carpet so that all
the water would be sucked into
that spot overnight. On Tuesday,
Abba had off, and he and Naomi

December 28, 2012

went to see The Hobbit. Abba
felt it was one of the four
greatest Hobbit movies of all
time, and only fell asleep once
during the entire showing.
Naomi liked it, even though she
felt the orcs probably didnt
follow proper hygienic practices
or visit the dermatologist nearly
enough.
In other news, Abba has actually
realized his decades-old dream
of writing a crossword puzzle
without any black spaces. The
across entries would be fifteen
letters long, and although the
down answers would be
apparently meaningless, he
could give them meaning by
perhaps naming his children
whatever they came out to be.
Imma ruined the plan by
refusing to have fifteen children
for frivolous reasons, and its
probably just as well because if
Danielle made such a big fuss
about Dubke, how would she
probably
feel
about
Tleeskmrfnynezr?

Mazal Tov
Happy birthday Elie!
Happy birthday Sarah!
Happy 5th birthday Grab a
Newspaper!

Nierb Knhaf Ejpfs

By Naomi Molly Koolyk
Rachel and her friend Michal
had a project to do about some
war, so they got together on
Sunday to do it. I used to make
videos for school quite a bit
because I was smart and I know
that you can never get bad
grades on videos even if they
include slim to no information
because the teach feels bad that

Grab a Newspaper
you put so much effort in.
Somehow this led to Abba
saying how I know how to do
videos and I should help Rachel
and her friend. They really did
not know any information about
this war at all and I thought that
was fine and we could just wing
it from there, but Abba looked it
up on Wikipedia or something
and explained to them what it
was about. So I was ready to
video and asked them what the
first scene should be and they
looked at me with blank faces.
So Abba had to explain the
whole dumb war to me. When
they showed up for production
in their regular clothes I knew I
had to start taking charge, so
soon enough Rachel was in my
army uniform, her friend was in
Abbas suit jacket and there we
were in the study with the risk
board set up like a war map,
candlesticks for light and old
Megillah scrolls as the letters
from war. I thought I did quite
an amazing job with costume
and scenery but their acting was
not quite up to par. They would
have some very dramatic line
like They chased us out, lets
go back and have a war and it
would be like hello Miss Robot.
But whatever, at least I got to be
narrator and put on my amazing
British-war-documenter accent
Ive been saving up. Another
movie experience this week was
Abba and me going to see The
Hobbit. I dont really know
anything about The Lord of the
Rings or anything, but I heard it
was good so I was down. We get
to the movie and its us and like
five other people in the theater.
We were all sitting in like a
three row radius, so I thought it
was a bit awkward like why
dont you all just come over to
my place and well watch a
movie there. The ticket boy
came in to the theater to present
the movie which I thought was

Page 5
very odd, I have never seen that
before. He told us the movie was
two hours and 49 minutes or
something and I was shocked at
this information; I feel like
thats the kind of thing you
should tell us before we pay and
are
seated!
Trapped
us!
Everyone else seemed fine with
it; I guess they had checked
before the movie. They probably
dont have an Imma who tells
you when and where the movie
is, so it probably involves a little
more of a thought process for
that. Abba nudged me like ten
minutes into the movie and said
I just fell asleep, I was really
asleep. I would have laughed
but I was actually about to nod
off myself. I was very proud that
I didnt fall asleep once the
whole movie even though I
wanted to. It was a cool movie
and there were some vile
creatures in there like the orc
guys who were just saying weird
things like Jacinul tee uawey
and had huge wart faces. Abba
said they should probably see a
dermatologist. I couldnt agree
more. Now Ill go waste some
more of Immas ingredients
which is what she calls eating
these days.

Solution to last weeks puzzle

December 28, 2012

Grab a Newspaper

Page 6

Ureito Ack Asrz Ha

1

10

11

12

13

14

15

16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29

Across

Down

1 Hell probably be the last person to

find out hes in this
16 An ir for beauty
17 Where to find 19-Across
18 What the editor certainly waits for
19 Without them wed be paperless
20 Stam article author
21 VIPs of 6/10/12
22 Musical instrument of Psalms 22
23 Doubter of cinnamons effectiveness against ants
24 Klaus Teubers brainchild
25 Producer of worlds best therapists and journalists
26 Sororal cuties
27 This is one
28 Source of many titles
29 This is one

1 Subtitle for a lead article

2 Chutney article, with 3-Down
3 See 2-Down
4 Article from 25-Across, with 5-Down
5 See 4-Down
6 What an orc might say
7 Downhill article title
8 Article about mandel bread
9 Article about inflation
10 Civil War article
11 My reading week article
12 Title for a perfect crossword puzzle
13 Famous motto
14 Anonymous article
15 Rejected possibility for Danielles middle name