Creating a Jewish Home

Created for Tzafon USY

Four full lessons (includes Shabbat and non-Shabbat

options):
1. Shalom Bayit 1: The REAL Shalom In the Home
2. Shalom Bayit 2: Hashomair Achi Anochi (Our
Brothers Keepers): Sibling Relationships
3. Eat a Little Something! Hachnasat Orchim:
Welcoming Guests
4. Extreme Home Makeover: Jewish Edition
Creating a makom kadosh, a physical holy space in our
homes
Core Jewish concepts and associated texts:
Shalom Bayit Peace in the Home- sibling and family
dynamics in the book of Beresheit
Kibbud Av vaem- honor of parents Shemot 20:12


















:










:
Hear, my son, the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the
teaching of thy mother; Mishlay 1:8 (Proverbs)
?keeper Am I my brothers





:
Makom Kadosh: A physical Jewish space: Ritual objects,
Judaica, and Jewish art
Hachnasat Orchim- welcoming guests

Goals via active learning

USYers will identify core values associated within the Jewish

home and actively practice these concepts
USYers will discuss, through text and what it means to build a
Jewish home

 USYers will identify objects and physical properties of a Jewish

home

Lesson 1: Shalom Bayit: the REAL Shalom in the Home

(sorry, no Shmuley Boteach)

Goals:
USYers will explore relationship dynamics of dysfunctional families in Beresheit in
order to highlight core elements of Shalom Bayit: respect, trust, communication
and teamwork
Parent-child Yiztchak and Rivka with Yaakov and Eisav,
Sibling-sibling Yaakov and Eisav, Yosef and brothers, Aharon and Moshe,
Kayin and Hevel
Parent-parent Avraham and Sarah, Yaakov and Rahel and Leah
Set Induction: Opening Activity on Trust, Communication and Teamwork
The Trust Walk
Set up a mini obstacle course using chairs and other objects you can find. Form
pairs. Ask one partner to be the navigator (guide), and the other to be
blindfolded. When the blindfolded partner is ready, slowly spin the person
around a few times so that they do not know which direction they are
headed. (trust) From this point on, the guide should not touch the partner at all,
but rely on verbal cues (e.g. About five steps ahead, there is a branch. Step over
it slowly.) communication
The guide is solely responsible for his or her partners safety. (teamwork). He or
she should be navigated to avoid obstacles. In this way, participants learn
valuable lessons related to teamwork: the guide learns about the challenge and
responsibility of caring for another individuals well being, while the blindfolded
partner learns to trust and rely on another person. Ask participants to reflect and
share upon their experiences.
Step 2: Debrief the Experience through discussion
Sample Questions:

What was the purpose of this activity?

What was it like to be the guide, responsible for the safety of your partner?
Did you have any difficulty trusting your partner while blindfolded? Why or
why not?

How well did you communicate with each other? Was communication,
trust or both the key to success here?
Why is trust in your teammates important?
How did it feel when you and your teammate successfully trusted each
other to accomplish something challenging?
How does this relate to being part of a family?

DISCUSS IDEAS OF TRUST, COMMUNICATION AND TEAMWORK AS

ESSENTIAL COMPONENTS TO FAMILY/HOME LIFE. Ask for examples from
their own lives.
Weekday/non Shabbat friendly: Post texts on posters with titles that hurt
Shalom Bayit (deception, mistrust, anger, etc.) around the room and have
USYers write examples from their own lives under each one.
For example: Eisavs anger: And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing
wherewith his father blessed him. And Esau said in his heart: 'Let the days of
mourning for my father be at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.' (Beresheit
27:41). USYers write: I once got so angry at my brother for erasing the file I had
saved on the desktop. I wanted to clobber him.

Jewish Texts: The First Families: Yaakov, Eisav, Rivka and

Yitzchak, Noach and children, Kayin, Hevel and God
Shabbat friendly: Gather in groups and assign one group leader as facilitator
Lay out bolded words with text on index cards so all group members can see:
Deception Yaakov and Yitzchak, Rivka and Yitzchak
1. And Jacob went near unto Isaac his father; and he felt him, and said: 'The
voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.' 23 And he
discerned him not, because his hands were hairy, as his brother Esau's hands;
so he blessed him. 24 And he said: 'Art thou my very son Esau?' And he said: 'I
am.' (Beresheit 27 22:24)
2. When Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with an exceeding great
and bitter cry, and said unto his father: 'Bless me, even me also, O my father. 35
And he said: 'Thy brother came with guile, and hath taken away thy blessing.'
(Beresheit 27 34-35)
Mistrust: Yaakov and Eisav, Yaakov and Lavan
And Jacob sod pottage; and Esau came in from the field, and he was faint. 30
And Esau said to Jacob: 'Let me swallow, I pray thee, some of this red, red

pottage; for I am faint.' Therefore was his name called Edom. 31 And Jacob said:
'Sell me first thy birthright.'. 32 And Esau said: 'Behold, I am at the point to die;
and what profit shall the birthright do to me?' 33 And Jacob said: 'Swear to me
first'; and he swore unto him; and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. (Beresheit 2933)
Anger:
1. Anger in the home is like a worm in a fruit (Sotah 3b) Yaakov and Eisav
2. And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed
him. And Esau said in his heart: 'Let the days of mourning for my father be at
hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.' (Beresheit 27:41)
Absent/irresponsible: Rivka and Yitzchak- How is this an absent marriage?
How does Rivka and Yitzchaks irresponsible behavior affect their childrens
relationship and their own?
Jealousy: Yosef and brothers, Yaakov and Eisav, Kayin and Hevel, Sarai and
Hagar
1. But Abram said unto Sarai: 'Behold, your maid is in your hand; do to her that
which is good in your eyes.' And Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from
her face. (Beresheit 16:6)
2. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof.
And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering; 5 but unto Cain and to
his offering He had not respect. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance
fellAnd Cain spoke unto Abel his brother. And it came to pass, when they were
in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. (Beresheit
4: 4-5, 8)
3. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his
brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him. 5 And Joseph
dreamed a dream, and he told it to his brethren; and they hated him yet the
more. (Beresheit 37: 4-5).
Non-communicative: Rivka and Yitzchak. How do they lack communication?
Sarah and Avraham (Abe doesnt tell her about the Akayda)
Disrespect: Yaakov and Eisav:
And Jacob sod pottage; and Esau came in from the field, and he was faint. And
Esau said to Jacob: 'Let me swallow, I pray thee, some of this red, red pottage;
for I am faint.' Therefore was his name called Edom. 31 And Jacob said: 'Sell me
first thy birthright.32 And Esau said: 'Behold, I am at the point to die; and what

profit shall the birthright do to me?' And Jacob said: 'Swear to me first'; and he
swore unto him; and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. (Beresheit 25: 29-33
Supportive: Sarah and Avraham
But Abram said unto Sarai: 'Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her that which
is good in thine eyes.' And Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her
face. (Beresheit 16:6)
Empathic: Noach and sons
And Noah the husbandman began, and planted a vineyard. And he drank of the
wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. And Ham, the
father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren
without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their
shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and
their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. And Noah
awoke from his wine, and knew what his youngest son had done unto him.
(Beresheit 9: 20-24)
Shem runs to tell his brothers (sort of to mock his father). The other two
brothers empathically cover their fathers shame.
Understanding: Avraham and Sarai
1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bore him no children; and she had a handmaid, an
Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said unto Abram: 'Behold now,
the LORD hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my
handmaid; it may be that I shall be builded up through her.' (Beresheit 16: 1-2)
Read each text and recap the story for those who may not know. USYers choose
adjectives or verbs that describe the actions of the text. Ask them for an example
from their own lives for each word and text. For example: Deception- read the
quote and recap the story of Esav, Yaakov, Rivka and Yitzchak. I told my parents
I was going to my friends house and really I went to the concert they had
forbidden me from attending.
Questions for discussion: Ask USYers to stand up and speak in first person,
putting themselves in the characters shoes and relate each situation to
their own lives. This is key to learning the concepts. Ask them to speak in
first person as if they were that character.
Pretend you are Eisav. How would you feel knowing you were deceived by
your brother? Was Eisavs anger justified? What did Yaakov do wrong? If
he hadnt obeyed his mother, he wouldnt be practicing Kibbud Av Vem.
But by doing so, he hurt both his father and brother. Yaakov tricks his
father and then is tricked by Lavan (Rachel and Leah story). Did he get his
just reward?

Pretend you are Kayin. How would you feel after being rejected by God
(God as a parent). Was God wrong to reject Kayins gift? Has something
like this happened in your house where your parents praise your sibling
and not you? What does God teach Kayin by rejecting his offer? When
parents do this, what are they teaching their children about living up to
their potential?
Pretend you are Yitzchak- not only did your son trick you but it was under
the advice of your wife. How would you feel if your life partner deceived
you? What elements of a solid marriage were broken here?
Pretend you are one of the sons of Noach. Your parent embarrasses
her/himself in a silly manner. You could either point and laugh or help
relieve his/her embarrassment. Real life scenario: your mom is learning to
skate. Shes wobbling all over the place and looks pretty silly. You could
point and laugh, but even your mom can have her feelings hurt. Or you
could hold on to her hand and help her take her first steps as she helped
you take yours.
What examples from the dysfunction families in Beresheit hurt a Jewish
home? What are some ways in which we can preserve Shalom Bayit in spite
of natural tendencies to act as our ancestors did?
Put out two more texts on the floor:
Kibbud Av vaem for Shalom Bayit:
The commandment to honor our parents is written three times in the
Torah (Shemot 20:12, Dvarim 5:16 and Vayikra 19:3)

Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the
land which the LORD your God gives you.
Mishlei 1:8 (Proverbs):
Hear, my son, the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the teaching of thy
mother;

:
How do we honor our parents and gain their trust and respect? What do we do
that when sometimesthey just frustrate us and make us so mad with their rules
or expectations? Sometimes they just dont get it! How does Kibbud av vaem
preserve Shalom Bayit? What do parents do in return (love, nurture, supportshare the Chullin quote below) How can we apply this to our relationship with our
siblings as well?

A man should honor his wife and children with even more than which he has
(Chullin 84b)
Examples to discuss: Trust, communication, support, love, teamwork
Following the discussion on elements of relationships that hurt or preserve
Shalom bayit, reconvene as a large group and move to the next step.
Leader continues:
Practice defined givens and add an element of yourself:
Theres an old Jewish joke that is ironically sad but true: How do we explain
every Jewish holiday? They tried to kill us, we won, lets eat. Funny but true in
some way in that food and customs revolving around the family table is central to
every Jewish holiday. Each Jewish recipe not only tempts our palates and clogs
our arteries but has significance in building a Jewish home. What is your recipe
for Shalom Bayit for a peaceful Jewish home?
Activity - Add elements of yourself: Weekday:
Give the group a jumbo recipe card. In Chevruta, have each pair discuss
ingredients and create a recipe for Shalom Bayit based on what theyve learned
from the dysfunctional families of Bresheit and the Kibbud av vaem and Mishlei
quotes. What does it mean to be a good son/daughter/sibling or parent? Ask the
USYers to list qualities of being a good son/daughter/sibling and parent to
complete the recipe. Have them include an examples or scenario for each.
Finally, assemble a giant cookbook of Shalom Bayit recipes. One suggestion is
to use Job text as a title And you shall know that your home is at peace (5:24)
Shabbat Friendly: provide labels as stickers for possible ingredients for Shalom
Bayit. Ask them to give situations or examples for each.

Sample Recipe for Shalom Bayit (adjust to taste, cups may be converted to
months, teaspoons to years)
Daily doses of home ritual and traditions (example: talking before bed)
1 week of a vacation experience
Slices of chores
1 day/hour of family time
Daily discussions to resolve conflict
Pinches of I love yous
Unlimited amount of hugs and kisses (come on, no ones too cool for hugs
and kisses, even from your parents)

Shalom Bayit Lesson 2: Hashomair Achi Anochi? Your

Brothers Keeper
Text Source:
And the LORD said unto Cain: 'Where is Abel thy brother?' And he said: 'I know
not; am I my brother's keeper?' (Beresheit 4:9)

:
Goals

One major impediment to Shalom Bayit is conflict between siblings.

USYers will discuss real life situations they encounter with their siblings at
home and discuss cases of famous Jewish siblings in order to develop an
understanding of Jewish approaches to solving sibling rivalry.

Ice breaker: Famous Sibs

Give each USYer a card with the name of one of two sibling pairs. (list
attached). They must find their sibling and put the card together to compile
a quote (also attached).
Ask USYers to read the quote from a sibling set in Genesis or a secular
quote on siblings and discuss whether they relate to it via personal
example or whther they agree or disagree

Leader introduces concept: Our brothers keepers- preserving sibling

relationships for Shalom Bayit
We all know the famous story of the first set of siblings- Kayin and Hevel. How
many of you have been in the same situation where if we replace God with mom
or dad, felt that your brother or sister was favored over you? Kayin gets jealous
and angry and basically says forget him, I dont need this
Are we our brothers keepers? Are we responsible to look out for our
siblings?

Kayin asks

Divide into groups.

Scenarios: Each group is given a biblical text dealing with a sibling set (see
sibling pairs and quotes from ice breaker)

Yosef and Brothers

Kayin and Hevel
Yitzchak and Yaakov
Shem, Cham and Yafet
Rachel and Leah

Knowing these stories, read the text and discuss what circumstances or actions
determined this relationship and how it destroyed Shalom Bayit?

How did that persons personality or character determine what happened?

How do you/your siblings personalities effect how you interact?
What kind of involvement do the parents have in these stories and in your
life?
At what point does it become the siblings responsibility to solve their own
disputes (parents step back and say figure it out yourselves)
When do you get your parents involved in your sibling disputes?
How does sibling rivalry hurt Shalom Bayit? How can sibling relationships
enhance Shalom Bayit?

Each group must choose one quote they relate to most and PRESENT IT IN A
REAL LIFE, MODERN scenario.
Example: Yosef and Co.
Real life: You have two friends over and youre hanging out playing XBOX in your
basement with them and your brother. Your other brother comes downstairs and
wants to play. He ends up beating everyone in the game, gets cocky and starts
bragging, making you and your other brother really mad. You kick him out of the
basement. Your mom ends up feeling bad for him for feeling excluded and gives
him the car for the weekend.
Practice defined givens: Shalom Bayit and Hashomer Achi Anochi
Each group presents its scenario with approaches to solving the problems
rationally and respectfully. Heres the dispute and this is how we would solve
it.
Summary discussion:
What can we learn about forgiveness and brotherhood/sisterhood from the
Joseph story?

How can the jealousy and anger between Eisav and Yaakov help us deal
with conflict we experience with our sibs?
How can we look past differential treatment of parents and understand
that they love us each in different and equal ways?
What are some ways we can solve our strife between siblings while
preserving Shalom Bayit?

Attachment: Sibling sets and quotes (secular and Jewish

texts)

Owen Wilson

Luke Wilson

Siblings are the best

friends given to us by God

John Cusack

Joan Cusack

Families are like fudge:

mostly sweet with some nuts

Mary-Kate Olsen

Ashley Olsen

Sometimes being a brother

is better than being a superhero

Bart Simpson
A sibling shares childhood memories

Lisa Simpson
and grown up dreams

Meg Griffin
Its nice to grow up with a sibling
onsomeone to tell on!

Stewey Griffin
sometime to lean on, someone to count

Jamie Lynne Spears

Brittany Spears

Siblings are the people we practice on,

fairness and cooperation and kindness and

the people who teach us about

caring - quite often the hard way.

Hillary Duff

Haley Duff

As we grew up, my brothers acted

but I always knew they looked out

like they didn't care,

for me and were there!

Venus Williams

The highlight of my childhood was making

food came out his nose.

Serena Williams

my brother laugh so hard that

Michael Jackson

Janet Jackson

You don't choose your family.

as you are to them.

They are God's gift to you,

Zack

Cody

There is a little boy inside

Oh, how I hated that little boy.

the man who is my brother ...

And how I love him too.

JFK
I don't believe an accident of
t makes them siblings, gives
Sisterhood and brotherhood is a

Robert Kennedy
birth makes people sisters or brothers. I
them mutuality of parentage.
condition people have to work at.

Prince Charles

Prince Edward

"Your siblings are the only people

to have been brought up the

in the world who know what it's like

way you were.

Charlie Sheen

Emilio Estevez

"We are more than just acquaintances...

same fabric. Even though we appear to be
have a common thread that won't be broken --

it's as if we are cut from the

sewn in a different pattern, we
by people or years or distance."

Yosef

Reuven

And Joseph dreamed a dream, and

him yet the more (Beresheit 37:5)
siblings success?

he told it to his brethren; and they hated

Have you ever felt jealous at your

Kayin

Hevel

And again she bore his brother Abel.

but Cain was a tiller of the ground.

And Abel was a keeper of sheep,

Beresheit 4:2

Yitzchak
And Isaac and Ishmael his sons
Machpelah, in the

Eisav
And Jacob said to Rebekah
my brother is a hairy man, and
(Beresheit 27:11)
How are you unique from those
you?
27:41 And Esau hated Jacob because
father blessed him.
days of mourning for my father be at hand;

Yishmael
buried him in the cave of
field of Ephron (Beresheit 25:9)
Are siblings responsible for being
partners in care of parents?

Yaakov
his mother:'Behold, Esau
I am a smooth man.
who are raised along side

of the blessing wherewith his

And Esau said in his heart: 'Let the
then will I slay my brother Jacob.'

Rachel

Leah

And Leah's eyes were weak; but

fair to look upon (Beresheit 17:29)
your siblings, like you were second best?

Rachel was of beautiful form and

Have you ever felt compared to

Shem (son of Noach)

And Shem and Japheth took a garment,
shoulders, and went backward, and covered
and their faces were backward,
nakedness. (Beresheit 9:23)
*siblings sharing in responsibility of parents

Yafet
and laid it upon both their
the nakedness of their father;
and they saw not their father's

Lesson 3: Eat a Little Something!

Hachnasat Orchim welcoming guests
Goals:
USYers will discuss and practice the elements of hosting or
welcoming guests
USYers will determine the value of hachnasat orchim as being
at the core of building a Jewish home
TEXTS:
1. Why we create an environment of welcoming/welcoming
environment:
1. Shemot 23:9 You shall not oppress a stranger for you know the feelings of a
stranger, having yourselves been strangers in the land of Egypt.

--

-

-

,

;;
,

;

,

.
2 options for active set induction:
Activity 1: Planet Alpha Beta game
Divide the group into 5 smaller circles as members of 5 different planets
Planet Aleph, Planet Bet, Planet Gimel, Planet Dalet, Planet Hay
Each team behaves with specific customs only characteristic of the members of
that group (attached)
Task: Each group must design a planet theme park as a group, pick a theme,
pick rides or forms of entertainment it would include and how it would represent
your planet. As the USYers are discussing, they must demonstrate the customs
and characteristics of their planet provided.

After about 7 minutes, 2-3 people will be removed from each group and brought
into another group. The group is not allowed to give away any character traits or
explanations. The point is for the newcomer to adapt to the new culture and for
the planet members to respond to an outsider.
Two more people are moved out of the group and moved into another group
Planet Characteristics
Planet Alef
Choose a leader, every time he/she speaks, everyone lifts their hands in the air

When the word the is said, touch your nose

Stand up every time the word yes or no is said

Planet Bet
Choose a leader. Each time she/he speaks, clap three times

Every time someone says the word I, tap your feet

When someone says the word no howl like a warewolf

Planet Gimel
Choose a leader. Each time he/she speaks, fake laugh

Each time a girl speaks, stand up

Each time you speak, pull on your earlobe as you speak

Planet Dalet
Choose a leader. Each time he/she speaks, get up and dance

Each time a girl speaks, switch places. When the word no is said, tap your cheek three
times

Planet Hay
Choose a leader, each time he/she speaks, shake your head five times left and right

When the word you is said, slap the floor

Whenever a girl speaks, lock/link arms with the people next to you

Discussion: analyze the experience

-reconvene to debrief the experience
Questions:
What were some of the characteristics of your planet?
How was the discussion dominated by the behavior?
How did it feel that everyone knew what to do?

What did it feel like as the newcomer, as the outsider? Were you
confused, frustrated, discouraged? Did anyone try and help you?
Did you feel that you could interrupt and ask for help? Did you miss your
own group where you knew what was going on? Did anyone wish to reach
out to the newcomer? Did you even notice that he/she could have been
lost or confused?

What does this have to do with welcoming visitors? When youre a

newcomer to a group or unfamiliar situation, it helps to know whats going on and
how that culture differs from your own. Think about when you go to a new country
and dont understand certain customs or habits?

---OR--Activity 2: A Hostile Home: Setting up an un-inviting environment

Teach the idea of the environment of welcoming by creating an uncomfortable,
hostile environment.
Ideas: Check IDs at the door or make them wait a long time to enter the room
-space chairs randomly throughout the room
-give cups of water or cookies only to advisors and staff
-have them be in a space that is too small or too large
-have them spaced sitting by themselves throughout the room
After about 10 minutes of discomfort, ask USYers to gather as a group in the
center of the room. Ask them if entering this room was pleasant or painful
(uncomfortable). What made it such?

Shabbat Friendly: place items for warm hospitality on a table and have USYers
choose items they feel are helpful in creating a welcoming and warm home. Can
they think of examples from their own experiences as a host or guest? What do
they remember helped or hindered their comfort in as a guest?

Weekday Friendly: Split the large group into smaller groups. Give them posters
to design a safe space for visitors. It can be similar to the show Pimp my Ride
where they transform cars into fancy rides.
Discussion: How does environment determine how we welcome guests? How
does what we do BEFORE the guest arrives determine their experience in our
home?

Present to the group

Step 2: What we DO to welcome guests while in our

home?
Text: Avraham greets the angels
2. and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood over against
him; and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and
bowed down to the earth, and said: 'My lord, if now I have found favour in
thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant. Let now a little water
be fetched, and wash your feet, and recline yourselves under the tree. And
I will fetch a morsel of bread, and stay ye your heart; after that ye shall pass
on; forasmuch as ye are come to your servant.' And they said: 'So do, as thou
hast said. And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said:
'Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes.
And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetched a calf tender and good, and
gave it unto the servant; and he hastened to dress it. And he took curd, and
milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he
stood by them under the tree, and they did eat. (Beresheit 18: 2-8)
What does Avraham DO (point out the actions he takes to welcome his guests).

Option A: Practice defined givens of HACHNASAT ORCHIM:

Welcoming guests is a core component of creating a Jewish home. Based on this
text from Beresheit and your own experiences, pretend you are hosting a group
of Israeli students coming to visit. Of the 15 items from the center table that you
would provide to ensure youre guests are well care for, choose your top 10 and
then top 5. Why are these the most important? Debate it. Why leave out the
others?

List of items:
Have actual items or something that represents those items. You can make this
into an auction where they are given a certain amount of money and must
budget for the most necessary items or just have the item name on a card for
them to take back to the group.
Snack for arrival
Name tags so no one is embarrassed about remembering names
Ice breaker games
Sweatshirt or jacket for unexpected cold weather
Extra pillows and blankets for their sleeping comfort
An activity thats both Israeli and American (example: a sport)

Use of Hebrew words and phrases so they may feel more comfortable
with the language gap
Music for down time
Fun and interesting places on itinerary (or an actual itinerary)
Computer or phone for communication with family back home
Good meals and making sure dietary needs or restrictions are considered
Asking a lot of questions about their lives (showing interest)
A gift thats American for when they arrive or leave
Thank you for coming, info to stay in touch
Hosting 2 or more so they have a friend with them

Present your list and which items caused the most debate. Have them give
examples from their own lives of when they have experienced or didnt
experience these elements of hospitality and how it changed the experience.
(Example: I was once staying in a house where they didnt give me a warm
enough blanket and I was up all night freezing, or he/she hosted a party and no
one spoke to me the whole night).

OPTION B for Hachnasat Orchim:

Have the USYers host a party. Explain to them that theyll be hosting a party for
the advisors. What elements go in to being a host? How will you make sure your
guests are well cared for and comfortable?
Each group is assigned to one component of hachnasat orchim
Food
Atmosphere/environment
Welcoming (like a Kabalat Panim)
Invitations
Any other needs____________ (as a whole, decide what else needs to be
taken care of for the 5th group)

Summary:

Happy are those who dwell in Your house

Being a host involves preparing for the guests arrival AND taking care of them
while in your home. Weve all been newcomers or guests in a given environment
and feeling warmly welcomed and taken care of is one of the greatest gifts we
can give to newcomers. Building a Jewish home means not only caring for those
who live in that home but anyone who enters it.

Lesson 4: Extreme Home Makeover: Jewish

Edition (Creating Makom Kadosh, a holy physical space)
Goals:

USYers will determine what a Jewish home physically looks like (upon
appearance, what distinguishes a Jewish home from a non-Jewish home)
USYers will determine how symbols of Jewish life inspire living a Jewish
life
USYers will determine how Jewish artifacts connect us to family and
tradition

Opening set induction:

Shabbat version: a live story- candlesticks and the Holocaust
Leader walks in with a cane and babushka (dressed as an elderly person).
She/he begins his/her story. Ad lib a story about surviving the war as a child in
hiding and going back to a home no longer yours to find no surviving relatives,
but a tarnished menorah dating back to your childhood. When left with nothing
but pain, the menorah was your link to a home and family members gone forever
and the persistence of tradition and legacy you will leave with your grandchildren.
Ask for 2 others to read the 2 Women in the Holocaust voices:
These candlesticks here have a history, as told to me by my Aunt Rachel. They
were passed down as a wedding gift from my elderly grandmother who
endangered her life to rescue them during a pogrom in her village. These
candlesticks were her keepsake and she guarded them always.
(from WOMEN IN THE HOLOCAUST III, Sara Zelvor-Orbach, Lu Yehi Boker
p.107)
What was the power of these simple candles to kindle in my heart this
inextinguishable fire? I dont know how to put this feeling into words, but I
somehow felt as if the souls of all the righteous women of all the
generations were firmly connected to these candles. Perhaps I saw at that
moment my mothers covered face, and felt then that through my mothers merit

she would lighten my heavy heart. from WOMEN IN THE HOLOCAUST ,p.133,
Testimony of Miriam Weinstock)
Re-read the line: I dont know how to put this feeling into words, but I somehow
felt as if the souls of all the righteous women of all the generations were firmly
connected to these candles.
Discussion:
How do items, particularly ritual items, connect us to the souls of all righteous
women of all generations? How can so much memory, meaning and tradition
rest in an upright set of bronze candlesticks?
Why was it so amazing for this bubby/zaidy to not only find an item from his/her
destroyed home at such an emotional, lonely time but to receive a piece of
Judaica? How do the items in our home represent the members of that
household and the past, present and future?

Shabbat version proceed to Question 2

Weekday set induction: Show end of an episode from Extreme
Makeover: Home Edition (a new home is built for a family with specific detail
which meets their personal needs and lifestyle). How will living in that new space
cater to how that family wishes or needs to live?
Discussion for weekday opener:
If a stranger walked into your home, what decorations or elements of design do
you think he/she would comment on? What did you parents buy for your home
that has personal significance or adds beauty to the home in some way? Art,
family heirlooms, decorative pieces such as a vase or fruit bowl
Split into groups for Question 2:
If a stranger walked into your home, how would he/she know it was Jewish?
What physical evidence proves yours to be a Jewish home?
Weekday version: each group writes on poster board or giant Post It
Shabbat version: decide as a group the top 3 responses
What does having these Jewish objects do for a Jewish family, what does it
represent? How and why do people choose to display their Jewishness? Why do
some Jewish homes not have anything Jewish on the walls or shelves? For
example, many Jews are uncomfortable with mezuzah as it marks their home as
specifically Jewish. What is the purpose of Mezuza being on the outside?

------------------------------------Art of the Heart-------------------------------------Practice defined givens and add something of yourself:

Shabbat: Print about 10 pictures from Google Images of Judaic art. Hand out
copies of each set to participants (Ketuba, Mizrach, a Chagall painting, etc).
*Examples: Attachment 1*

Which one is your favorite? Which one represents your family? What do
you have hanging in your home thats similar?
What story do these pictures tell? How does it tell this story
Why would a Jewish family display these on their walls?
What stories do these pictures tell?
How does this art preserve ideals of love, tradition and memory, key to
creating and maintaining a Jewish home?

Hand out copies of Birkat Habayit (attachment 2)

In Chevrutot: In partners, have the USYers discuss the meaning of Birkat Habyit.
What would you change to make it applicable to your house? What would you
keep? What would you add? Is this a blessing of superstition? Does this
standard prayer apply to all Jewish homes? What values does it highlight?
(peace, Shalom Bayit, home as a safe haven)

Weekday: create a Birkat Habayit decorative wall hanger or Mezuza with your
own family prayer alongside the Shema. Explain the power of messages through
artistic representations. The artistic Jucaica we have on our shelves and walls
not only remind us of our commitment to live and do Jewishly but are beautiful
symbols of tradition, love, ritual and memory.
In our Jewish homes, we value ideals of love, tradition and memory. Ritual
objects, Judaica and Jewish art preserve these concepts.
HAND OUT TEXT OF BIRKAT HABAYIT or text of the Shema for Mezuzot
(attachment 2). USYers will create their own personalized Birkat Habayit (usually
kept on a wall by the door), to be reminded to live out Jewish values in our home
and as we exit into the real world. Each home displays its Jewishness in its own
ways. Create one for your family. Use text from the actual birkat habayit or
include some of your own.
Sample materials:
Nice copies of Birkat Habayit:

Hole punchers
Yarn
Felt pieces
Glue gun
Ribbon, glitter glue
Scrap material

Attachment 1
Ketuba
Ketuba

Attachment 2: Birkat Habayit

Blessing for the Home
Blessing for the Home,
Let no sadness come through this gate,
Let no trouble come to this dwelling,
Let no fear come through this door,
Let no conflict be in this place,
Let this home be filled with the blessing
of joy and peace.