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compass pointing South like droughts. Her cheeks are as vast and dry as the widest
worst desert you've ever imagined crossing alone in the summer at noon. Her eyes, on the
other hand, are like two tiny snails peeping out of their shells. Her eyebrows, like
tombstones, give you the impression that the whole face is an old graveyard. Moreover,
her mouth, bending a little bit towards the left side of her face, looks like a Galaxy
which is preparing to quit its orbit. And her lips full of cracks are two crashing
mountains that, when you approach them, you feel there is an earthquake that is likely
to act. Her nostrils are like Plato's cave where from a thick hot air blows incessantly.
Her chin, contrary to her nose, points north as if eager to freeze. Her ears are another
metaphysical element: Once, one of my close friends comments saying that her ears look
like the rear tractor wheels but I think he comes too short. As for me, her ears are rather
like mushrooms as large as sky dishes. This description, I think, is more romantic. When
she smiles! Oh! When she smiles! Imagine, with all the particular characteristics shown
above, in mind, what sort of smile it would be like?! Chernobyl? A volcano eruption? Or
Negara falls? No, no. Not at all! When she smiles, the sun sets at once and the world
darkens; and you feel that it is almost an apocalyptic day. When she smiles...and -by the
way she rarely smiles- her teeth view sends you millions of years back to the Big Bang.
Her hair, my dear, is like an equatorial bush where all sorts of creatures seem to enjoy
living. One day two apes jumped out of it; and it was really a fertile field of study and
scientific researches for experts in Botanic and zoologists. As for her breast, it's like a
rotten-wood-balcony of an old house from the Victorian age. Her arms are like two dead
crocodiles and her hands two out-of-order bulldozers. Her feet are two ships unlikely to
sink whatever hurricanes may blow them. And let's not forget her legs which look like
two pillars belonging to the Pharaoh era...
All in all, I admit that if one looked at her, he would be dealing with a lot of
scientific branches such as astronomy, biology, zoology and so on. Her face is a
University in the lido. In a word I'm unable to depict every single detail concerning her
body because, actually, I'm not a scholar. So the body features apart, Miss Beauty has
peculiar habits. First, she never has breakfast at home because it is impossible to prepare
it indoors. She usually goes to the petrol station where she has three gallons of gasoline,
seven sandwiches of track-tyres and a small bucketful of acid. She sometimes finishes her
breakfast just to start lunch. Her lunch meal is a mixture of iron tools and some crumbles
of steel. She often prefers to take some zinc-sauce with it. She said that wood, glass and
plastic materials taste more delicious. Her supper meal eventually is something like a
gallon of tar added to it a lorry-rim or a bicycle for dessert. She doesn't like to eat much
at night because she is on diet. Second, I should mention that she usually smokes gas but
not any gas. On this point she is very strict. She never smokes but propane-gas (C3H8).
One day while we were taking a walk in the streets, she suddenly felt hungry! You know
what she did?! She ate a car and exclaimed in whisper,
- "I don't know what's wrong with my appetite. I don't eat enough these days!"
It is true that I love her but love is too weak as expression to depict my feelings
towards her. Don't you see that a beautiful girl... Sorry, monster like this is rare or not
found at all. Many people envy me and I think that you do, too. So I hope that you'll
meet one like her one day; and I'll be the first to congratulate you! Until then, I wish I
had answered your question fully and I wish you had been satisfied otherwise I'll be
disappointed.
I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours, faithfully.
P.S. If it happens that you didn't find your car one day, check, perhaps it would
be inside Miss Beauty's belly. It is like a landfill.