Aiming High

The parody of business

Celeste Fabrie

Aiming High: The parody of business

Copyright 2014 by Celeste Fabrie
Business coach in the area of Frankfurt am Main, Germany.
Author of numerous books and articles on business and education as well as
a popular critic for TripAdvisor.
Acknowledgment
Google Images, German Business Etiquette, Design Ardour, M. Ena Inesi of London Business school
and Adam D. Galinsky of Kellogg Graduate School of Business, Northwestern University, legalencyclopedia, youtube, brainy quotes, wikipedia.org
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or
mechanical means including storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from Celeste
Fabrie
Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book
was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to
any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or
omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. (advice, how-to)

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Contents

Chapter

Title

Foreword by the author

03

Facts about top corporate leaders

04 - 16

Lonely leaders at the top

17 - 21

German attitudes and culture

22 - 24

Felix the flying frog (parable)

25 - 27

How to fire your consultant

28 - 30

10 things women do to ruin their career

31 - 39

Me Tarzan. You Jane. Basta!

40 - 45

My mother, my secretary!

46 - 48

Management humour

49 - 56

10

Psychology of pyramid schemes

57 - 64

11

Goldilocks and the three bears (parable)

65 - 68

12

Its not my problem. Find the solution yourself!

69 - 71

13

Personal training and emotional health

72 - 81

14

Employees wellness program

82 - 84

15

Leaders vs Managers

85 90

Conclusion

Pages

91

Foreword
The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather
than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics
and most of the great men of history.
Bertrand Russel

I have been coach, mentor and consultant to numerous directors, managers and
their employees since 1992. Over the years, I have written and selected several
articles about the subject of business. Some, of these writings I have put together
for this book. They reflect the business world as it is; crazy, funny, serious,
pathetic, frustrating and sometimes a reflection of ourselves or the people who
influence our thinking and behaviour. We spend at least two thirds of our lives in
the working world and unfortunately one third trying to catch up on the years we
have missed. A sad thought to say the least but perhaps this little book will give
you some answers to all those whirling questions in your head.

FACTS ABOUT TOP

CORPORATE LEADERS
and do we need psychopaths for company survival?
Psychopaths are drawn to and thrive in roles where people
need the ability to make objective, clinical decisions
divorced from feelings, the Business Insider reported.

What is a Psychopath?
Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate and ruthlessly plow their way through
life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations without the slightest sense of
guilt or regret. Their bewildered victims desperately ask, Who are these people?
We often think of psychopaths as the disturbed criminals who capture headlines and crowd the
nation's prisons. But not all psychopaths are killers. They are more likely to be men and women
you know who move through life with supreme self-confidence - but without a conscience.
What makes them the way they are? How can we protect ourselves?
- Robert D Hare, "Without Conscience"

The Human Capital and Management Library says: High-functioning psychopaths...tend to

rule the world. They rise to the highest levels of power in politics and business. They are
smooth, charming and persuasive. Sometimes they project an image of caring. Sometimes they
shy away from the spotlight. But the only thing they are really interested in is power. Dr David
Mashburn mentions that high-functioning psychopaths can be very successful. They appear to be
confident and calm and seem to have their act together.
The defining characteristic is that they are insatiable liars and skilled manipulators.
It's appropriate that we should be thinking about this right now because we are in a year where
much of the leadership of the world will be changing gears. We can sense it in the air.

Significantly, it's happening in the two most powerful countries in the world. China has already
selected its next president.. Elections, uprisings and threats of removals are also happening from
Syria to France and from Russia to Mali. Politicians are not in this for the altruistic ideals they
espouse. The political aphrodisiac is power. It is the ability to stride with kings and presidents,
and the sure knowledge that your opinions will be listened to and acted upon.
And before we laugh, it is no different in business. In a recent piece of research, Clive Brody
at Nottingham Trent University referred to the corporate psychopaths who caused the economic
crisis because of their lack of conscience... and their inability to have any feelings, empathy or
sympathy for people.
The other expert in psychopathy is Canadian Robert Hare, who found that a significant percentage
of business leaders display definite signs of being psychopaths.
The extraordinary thing is that it is the very qualities that make people attractive to us as forceful,
strong leaders that often conceal the worst parts of their personalities. So, in business as in politics,
watch out for the suave manipulator who makes all those promises, and look again at what
Jim Collins, author of Good to Great calls the level five leader: the outstanding one who will
do an excellent job and who is usually an introvert, the one who shies away from the limelight.

Dutton claims the professions that seem to have the most psychopaths are:

Chief Executive Officer (CEO)

Lawyer
Media (Television/Radio)
Salesperson
Surgeon
Journalist
Police Officer
Clergy Person (Priest/Pastor)
Chef
Civil Servant

Dutton also lists the following professions as least attractive to psychopaths:

Care Aide
Nurse
Therapist
Craftsperson
Beautician or Stylist
Charity Worker
Teacher
Creative Artist
Doctor
Accountant

According to the authors: Babiak and Hare, the corporate worlds (any organization run like
corporations), are increasingly target-rich environments for psychopaths for four basic reasons:
1) Some core psychopathic personality traits (talents) may seem attractive in job applicants and
get them hired; traits such as: assertiveness; ability to appear genuine when faking sincerity and
honesty; ability to quickly assess vulnerabilities of people and manipulate them; shallow affect;
take-charge narcissism; and expertise manipulating through schmoozing and networking; etc.;
2) Superficial notions of effective management and leadership (focus on hierarchy; taking
charge; exercise of top-down power and decision-making but with avoidance of accountability;
etc.) play right into the hands of psychopaths. Typical proclivities for megalomania, malignant
narcissism, manipulation, intrigue and using/treating people as mere useful objects or instruments,
may appear, to those themselves not real managers or leaders, or even to fellow psychopaths, as
decisive management; and even leadership. Either like attracts like, or, those lacking
substance, typically, are not willing to select for substance even if they could recognize it.
3) The changing nature and structures of businesses often favour psychopaths. As businesses
become less hierarchical, more lean, more complex and more flat, and as businesses have to
become increasingly flexible and agile, the devolution of power and accountabilityor at least
accountabilityto what were lower levels of corporations, then, in such contexts, the takecharge, ruthless, demanding, manipulative and apparently results-oriented managers, often
psychopaths, appear increasingly attractive to those at the top who want power and perks but not
proportionate accountability on themselves. What appear to be take-charge, as well as take-theheat types, sometimes psychopaths, appear to be perfect for those at the very top who want power
and perks but not accountability. Of course, psychopaths typically do the same to those below
them.

4) In the context of increasingly lean, complex and agile businesses and other institutions, the
types of individuals who are willing to ignore cumbersome and constraining rules, laws, best
practices in management, and, are ruthless and devoid of empathy, coupled with abilities to con
and manipulate as well as direct, may be attractive in some fast-paced and ultra-competitive
organizations.
As Plato, one of the first recorded analysts of psychopathy (along with Lao-tze) put it:
Those who seek power are invariably the least fit to hold and wield it.
Plato understood, perhaps instinctively, or perhaps from examples around him, that those who
would self-anoint, self-proclaim, self-credential themselves as "leaders", to be parachuted "down"
on and over, those they purport to "lead", demonstrate a certain level of hubris, absolute certainly,
malignant narcissism and megalomania that is breathtaking and extremely dangerous. As an old
Chinese aphorism goes:
Power is something a good person will not seek, and a bad person should not have.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmUXp_zE14E

10

Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without

individual responsibility. The Devils Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce

What is an Alpha male?

Does an Alpha male have similar psychopathic
characteristics?
In the Alpha Male Syndrome, Kate Ludeman and Eddie Erlandson tell us that alpha males are
aggressive, results-driven achievers who insist on top performance from themselves and others.
At the extreme, alpha anger is explosive, alpha competitiveness is ruthless, and alpha
aggressiveness and urgency is in the red zone. Former Disney chief Michael Eisner is a classic
alpha male as is Chainsaw Al Dunlap, who was famous for his ruthless cost-cutting. Importantly,
Ludeman and Erlandson continue, the alpha male drive for dominance that once assured the
survival of the toughest has become increasingly maladaptive. In an environment where brains
count a whole lot more than brawn, a physical pipsqueak can be a giant. The co-authors endorse
a more feminine style of leadership, noting that female managers tend to be perceived as more
consultative and inclusive, whereas men are more directive and task oriented.
Similarly, in the Harvard Business Review article, Leadership Run Amok: The Destructive
Potential of Overachievers, Scott W. Spreier, Mary H. Fontaine and Ruth L. Malloy explain how
overachievers command and coerce rather than coach and collaborate, thus stifling subordinates.
Overachievers are so bent on getting results that they cut corners, keep their plans to themselves
and run roughshod over anyone who opposes them. Marshall Goldsmiths What Got You Here,
Wont Get You There covers similar territory.

11

He coaches executives on how to stop 20 bad habits such as never apologizing or thanking
people, taking all the credit, interrupting rather than listening and, generally, needing too strongly
to be right. Explaining why he put the excessive need to win at the top of his list of bad habits,
Goldsmith states: Winning too much is easily the most common behavioral problem that I
observe in successful people. He adds that the need to win is the core issue, because it underlies
nearly every other behavioral problem.

Becoming an alpha male is one of the highest achievements a man can ever have. Its not just
about learning how to be smooth with the ladies (but thats also part of it), there is so much more
to the Alpha male lifestyle. Its all about living a life full of fulfillment and self-actualization. An
alpha male lives inside all men; its what makes us manly as men. Its the Big Difference between
us and the ladies. And women love it! They find it so irresistible. Its what really attracts them to
men. A woman will say she wants a man who buys her flowers and listens to her stories and cares
and bla bla bla (all that sissy stuff) but at the end of the day she will fall for the alpha male
(Usually found in bad boys) and break all her rules. This is because for women attraction is not in
the head; its in the heart. Its how they are wired To fall for Alpha Males And they cant help
it. This is why you want to become an alpha male. But does been an Alpha Male mean we are also
psychopathic?

Here are the 25 Traits of an Alpha male:

1. An Alpha male is very comfortable with himself. He always radiates confidence. He does not
fear anyone; he does not really care how people think of him. Confidence is him. He knows he is
more important than anyone else in his life.
2. He is very passionate in life. He knows what he loves to do and follows his dreams. A true
Alpha male has goals and ambitions, and really high ones. He follows these to the ultimate end,
and ends up living a fulfilled life. (And women love passionate men with ambition. They see these
kinds of men becoming very successful in life and in their subconscious minds this is a qualifying
factor in choosing a mate that will be able to provide for their future kids.)

12

3. Failure is only a minor setback for a real Alpha Male. Its only part of the process, he is
learning. He is moving. He will always bounce back from failure, learn from the experience and

move ahead with life. Nothing holds him back; after all, he is the Alpha male. Nothing can put
him down. This is how he overcomes the challenges in his life.
4. He is always composed. An alpha male never loses composure; he is always himself,
thoughtful and calculated. He wont be carried away in emotional spasms.
5. Driven. A real Alpha male is very self- driven and self-disciplined. Once he decides his target,
all his attention will be at achieving his goal. He will do everything persistently to achieve what he
wants. This is also why Alpha males drive women crazy, they are men of their own, they dont
need to be told what they should do. Women prefer men who make the decisions.
6. High morals and values. A true Alpha male is not what we will call a loose man. He has
high moral principles. He is not abusive or arrogant and does not look down upon others. Many
people confuse Alpha males and Bullies. But generally, while bullies are very aggressive on the
outside, alpha males are very calm, calculated and controlled people.
7. An Alpha male is a natural leader. He is always looked up upon to provide direction when
needed.
8. An Alpha male is a Problem Solver. In a company or organization, he will always be put in a
challenging position and because of this; he will be highly regarded and compensated. He will
always be the best at what he does.
9. Dress- Code- Smart. Not that he really cares what anyone thinks of how he dresses; that is not
very important to him. But he still dresses the best way possible, always. Its just part of his
nature, after all, he wants the best in life! He doesnt have to but he knows he should.
10. He believes in growth. He knows that change is an internal process and takes time. He does
not blame anyone for his mistakes because he knows that he has the power to make his life better
and become a better man. Life for him is all about constant growth. This is the real essence of a
man living a life of purpose. Every successful man in history knew this. That life is learning
process. It is only an arrogant person who thinks they know it all. Humble yourself and learn!
11. With women he always poses a challenge. No, he is not chosen by women, he CHOOSES
them! He does not throw himself at women and start acting needy with women. For him its the
other way round. They really have to impress him and earn his attention.
12. A True Alpha male is not bossy. Not at all. He likes to listen to others opinions. If he is in
a position of leadership he will let everyone share their thoughts and collectively find the solution.
Thats why his co- workers love him! His team always wins.
13. He is not afraid to face his faults or admit when he is wrong. For a real Alpha male, there is
nothing wrong with admitting when he has done something wrong. Its all about moving on with
life, finding a solution, moving forward. If he wronged someone, he will politely admit and
apologize, without making a big deal out of it, then move on to the next best thing.
14. He does not have to prove himself. An alpha male is being of very high self-esteem, he does
not need anyones approval to make him feel better about himself.
15. Alpha males are very clever, smart and cunning people. Hes got a real keen mind. He will
assess situations and find the best logical solutions. In business alpha males do very well, their
analytical skill and keen mind goes a long way.
16. Dominant, not aggressive, Alpha males also possess superior social skills.

13

17. Social behaviour Hang out mostly with other alpha males. A true Alpha male finds the
most value in hanging out with others like him. He also finds growth in doing this by learning
from others who are better than him at one thing or another. That is why he never fails in life, he
surrounds himself with people who are either like him or better achieved than him. Those are his
company.
18. Physically fit. Alpha males are into healthy living and proper eating. They work out regularly;
this also helps them become more focused on their goals and ambitions. This is why most Alphas
are well built and all masculine.
19. Optimistic. Alpha males will always see the positive side of things and make the best out of
what they have. A true Alpha male knows that in every problem there lies therein an opportunity.
They just have to find it.

Body Language
20. Alpha males talk slowly. They never rush things, they are always in control. They have a way
of having their audience eat at their every word. They know they are important and when they talk
they command this importance.
21. They walk slowly, not lazily. There is a difference. Alpha males are very controlled people.
They are not always in a rush like everyone else. An Alpha male will be very disciplined to be on
time or earlier for a meeting and well prepared. He will therefore have enough time to observe and
think through his strategy.
22. Really Good Communicators. The alpha male is a great communicator both verbal and nonverbal. He shows his feelings through positive body language and is not afraid to show his sexual
side. Women love this too Men who are not wussies at flirting and showing their sexuality. It is
not about telling a woman that you love her. Its about expressing it in body Language and letting
her read it with her subconscious mind.
23. Witty. Alpha males have a high sense of humor; they always live on the fun side of life. Its
never always too serious for them.
24. Alpha males know that they are important. When you call them (unlike Beta Males) they
will take their time to turn their head and focus on you. You always have to prove worthy of their
attention.
25. Alpha males demonstrate Strength. The kind of strength that will make a woman believe
that she is safe with him and that he can protect her when it comes to that. Women are generally
the weaker sex, and always look for comfort in Alpha males; men who are dominant.

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http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv/Hare-Psychopathy-Checklist.html

15

The question is:

Do we need psychopaths for company survival?
If Duttons sources are to be believed, then yes, we as a society couldn't survive without them.
Dutton describes psychopaths as brilliant, calculating, often highly intelligent people, who feel no
emotion and don't even understand what an emotion is or why non-psychopaths feel them.
I think every society needs particular individuals to do its dirty work for it, says Robin Dunbar,
a professor of evolutionary anthropology at Oxford. Dutton, who's is also a research scientist at
the same university further emphasizes the psychopath as; Someone who isn't afraid to make
tough decisions. Ask uncomfortable questions. Put themselves on the line. And a lot of time those
individuals, by the very nature of the work that they're asked to do, aren't necessarily going to be
the kind of people who you'd want to sit down and have afternoon tea with.
And it seems Dunbar isn't alone in his hypothesis. Psychopaths account for one to two percent of
the general population, suggesting they can't all be bad, according to an article that bioethicist
George Dvorsky wrote for io9.
Clearly, given that nearly 2 in every 100 persons is a psychopath, they can't all be bad
otherwise society would have completely imploded by now, according to Dvorsky.
In an interview with Smithsonian.com, Dutton stressed his belief that psychopathy, in the right
doses, is actually a good thing for society. Psychopaths are assertive. Psychopaths dont
procrastinate. Psychopaths tend to focus on the positive. Psychopaths dont take things personally;
they dont beat themselves up if things go wrong, even if theyre to blame. And theyre pretty cool
under pressure. Those kinds of characteristics arent just important in the business arena, but also
in everyday life.

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***

Lonely Managers at the Top

Power is coveted, sought, and tightly held onto. From the animal kingdom to all human
societies, power is the currency of success.

Those in power are less likely to reciprocate because they tend to believe that the
favors they have received were selfishly motivated.
However, the very nature of power and its psychological effects often leave the powerful
feeling lonely at the top.
We list five ways in which power perverts, contorts and undermines a number of
psychological processes that normally nurture close connections and form the foundation of
healthy relationships.
1. Power alters our beliefs about others generosity. When people do nice things for us, we
automatically devise an explanation for their behavior: Why did they go out of their way to
help me? What is their motivation?
Often this process is so quick and automatic that we dont even realize we are doing it, but
despite its subtlety, it has dramatic implications for how our relationships develop and how
close or connected to others we remain.
Typically, our theories for why people do nice things for us reflect well on the giver and
portend good things for the relationship. We often think: Because this person really likes and
cares about me. Because this is a kind and trustworthy person. Thus, we often see others
through a beneficent lens.
However, ones own power represents a compelling alternative explanation for what appears
to be another persons generosity.

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When individuals have power, they know they are more likely to be the target of opportunists,
who use kind words and seemingly selfless acts not for altruistic reasons but to further their
own selfish goals.
It is this alternative explanation that always exists for the powerful and leads them to become
more suspicious of others seemingly generous acts.
Of course this jaundiced view of others intentions can be functionalwho wants to develop a
relationship with a selfish sycophant?but those in power often over-apply this principle and
become more suspicious of any kind acts they are offered, irrespective of the source.
In one study, we asked people to recall the most recent favor they had received and who had
done it for them. Most people wrote about favors from friends or family, such as a ride to the
airport or taking care of a child.
Importantly, there were no systematic power dynamics described in these descriptions.
Then we randomly assigned half the participants to complete an exercise that would make
them feel powerful and half to complete a neutral exercise. When we then asked everyone to
think back to the favor they had described earlier and report why they thought the favor-giver
had acted thus, we found that feelings of power dramatically altered reactions to the favor.
Simply making people feel powerful made them more likely to report that the favor had been
selfishly motivated. Those in power saw, for example, a friends favor through a cynical lens,
as being driven by more opportunistic and conniving intentions.
2. Power affects our responses to the kind acts of others. Our beliefs about the motivations
behind the actions of others ultimately drive disconnection because they inform our responses
to gestures.
One of the most basic and critical responses to others generosity is to reciprocate with
generous gestures of our own. Reciprocity, the social norm that people should do unto others
as others have done to them, has been identified as a key component of relationships from
Roman times by the philosopher Cicero to more recently by sociologists such as Alvin
Gouldner and even of a stable society, because it creates social equilibrium and cohesion.
However, we only reciprocate favors that we think were done for our benefit and not for the
favor-givers ulterior motives. For example, if a work colleague stays late to help you out on a
joint project that was important to her own success, you will feel less compelled to reciprocate
than if that colleague had stayed late to help on a project she wasnt part of and thus wouldnt
personally benefit from the projects success.
Those in power are less likely to reciprocate because they tend to believe that the favors they
have received were selfishly motivated. If we return to the work example, and add our
knowledge from point 1 above, then we may begin to see how the powerful can become the
architects of their own loneliness.
Lets say a colleague stays at work late to help you on a project that shes not associated with.
She saw you could use some help and offered to stay a few extra hours. Our findings suggest
that even if this persons motivation in doing the favor is completely benevolent, only
driven by true generosity this persons hierarchical position in the organization relative to

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you will affect your response. If this person is junior to you in the organization, you will be
less likely to reciprocate than if this person were a peer. This lack of reciprocity means that if
a similar situation emerged sometime later you would be less likely to help this junior person
in a similar situation.
Why?
Because of the cynical attributions that power inspires. Your power over the junior person
makes you more likely to believe she did the initial favor for selfish reasons and therefore is
less deserving of reciprocity. Moreover, by failing to reciprocate the favor, you will be
keeping distance between yourself and your more junior co-workers.
3. Power reduces trust It has been said that love makes the world go around, but when we
speak of the quality of our relationships with others, it may be more accurate to say that it is
really trust that is the engine of effective social relationships.
When we trust someone, we believe that the person will act in our best interest, even when we
are not there to monitor their behavior. At work, interpersonal trust can be hugely beneficial,
not only because it feels better to work with people you trust, but also because it saves time
and effort. For example, if you trust that your co-workers are not working on their own
agenda and to your disadvantage, you dont need to obsessively attend to their
communications with others.
Trust doesnt just happen though; it develops. By exchanging small vulnerabilities back and
fortha favor received, an embarrassing disclosure revealedtwo individuals build a
relationship characterized by ever greater trust.
Power puts a wrench in that process by creating a reason to mistrust others kind acts. The
powerful generate cynical attributions for others kind deeds and fail to reciprocate with
actions that display their own vulnerability, thereby stunting the possibility for a trusting
relationship to develop.
4. Power reduces commitment. The word commitment, as it applies to interpersonal
relationships, generally brings to mind images of romantic attachment. To demonstrate that
our theory affects not only work interactions, but also personal relationships, we looked at
how power may create loneliness in marriages.
We asked married individuals to think about a specific favor that their spouse had done for
them, to answer why they thought the spouse had done the favor, and then to report how
committed they were to the relationship.
At the end of the study, each married participant indicated who earned more income: the
respondent, the spouse or about the same. Income has been cited across many literatures as a
source of power, both inside and outside marriages.
Indeed, we found that spouses who earn more felt more powerful in their marriages compared
to those who earned the same or less than their spouse.
Consistent with our theory, participants who earned more than their spouse, and thus had
more power in the relationship, were more suspicious of their spouses motives in offering the
favor.

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Remarkably these cynical attributions, which appear to be part and parcel of having power,
led the high income earners to feel less committed to their marriage relationship. Thus, the
very state of being powerful causes individuals to feel less connected to others, even to ones
own spouse.
5. Power damages relationships in the very moments when they have the greatest
potential to develop. The dynamics we have outlined above present the possibility that
powerful people are just generally suspicious of others. Whether instrumental or beneficent,
those who interact with power-holders will be perceived as having more suspect motives.
Interestingly, this doesnt appear to be the case.
In one study, we asked participants about a peer or a subordinate who had either done a favor
for the participant or just done required work. It turned out that participants trusted
subordinates less than equal-powered peers only after receiving a favor, but not after
receiving required work.
These results mean that those in power are not necessarily walking around every day feeling
suspicious of their colleagues. Rather, it is in the very moment that someone tries to establish
closeness through generous acts and unsolicited favors that power gets in the way.
Overall, power weaves a jaundiced and cynical psychological web. In the face of favors, the
powerful see selfishness, refuse to reciprocate, strangle trust, and ultimately feel less
committed. It is these psychological and social processes that leave the powerful sitting ever
more alone at the top.
What can you do about this?
Many of these psychological processes occur outside of conscious awareness and it can be
difficult to reign in. However, one potential step is to increase awareness of the different
spheres and roles you take on in your lifemanager, colleague, parent or friendand the
different psychological states you inhabit in each.
Instead of instinctively and unconsciously drawing cynical explanations, take a step back and
try and to truly discern where the generosity came from. Look for patterns in this persons
behaviorare they generally generous or do they only help me just before the want
something from me?
By bringing more conscious awareness to the situation, individuals have greater capacity to
differentiate the generous from the sycophantic.
It is also important to note that favors motivated by selfish intentions are not necessarily to
your disadvantage in the short term. So while you still may want to exercise caution in
exposing your own vulnerabilities to such favor-givers, reminding yourself to say thank you
and showing your appreciation in small ways can do wonders to create a more positive
working relationship.
Another key solution is to avoid carrying feelings of power from one context into another in
which ones power is less relevant.

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We know whenever people feel powerful, even in the absence of actual power they
demonstrate greater suspicion of the favors of others. Therefore, a conference call from home
with a subordinate, in which power is relevant, may affect your behavior with your children or
your spouse just after you hang up.
Create cues that remind you to shake off one role and engage in the mindset appropriate to the
current context. A brief pause to remind yourself of this process, or thinking of a memory
with your children or spouse, can often do the trick.
Awareness of this psychological lens that power provides can be the key to feeling socially
connected without leaving oneself overly exposed to selfish sycophants. By doing so, the
powerful can sit at the top, neither lonely nor vulnerable.
The authors of this WSJ article are: M. Ena Inesi of London Business school and Adam D.
Galinsky of Kellogg Graduate School of Business, Northwestern University and is based on
an academic paper by M. Ena Inesi, Deborah H Gruenfeld (Stanford Graduate School of
Business) and Adam D. Galinsky. This is the latest article in The Sources management
series.

***

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German Attitudes and Culture

German Culture and Traditions can often seem strange. But understanding Germans and
fitting in can be very easy if you know the rules. Please comment below and share your
experiences. What do you think is odd and strange about the German culture and what do
you find refreshing?

(Picture source: German Business Etiquette)

German Ways Understanding German Attitudes and Culture (source and author
unknown)
1) Germans do not cross the street against the light.
Do not cross the street when the light is red, NO MATTER WHAT! Germans always wait for
the light to turn green whether there is a car in sight or not. If you attempt to cross, you will
probably be chided by at least one of the people in the queue and you will hear a general
tsssk.

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2) Germans are very direct and they are always right

Most Germans have no problem telling you how they feel about something, even if you are a
complete stranger. Dont try to argue with a German, it is a complete waste of time. Just
remember they are always right, nod your head and dont waste your breath.
3) German cyclists rule
When walking on the sidewalks in Germany, cyclists have the right of way. I am always
pulling friends out of the way of bell-dinging cyclists that seem to have no hesitation in
running down pedestrians. Never, ever walk on the part of the sidewalk that is designated as a
bike path and when you cross the street make sure you stay in the pedestrian area and dont
stray over the line into the bike path.
4) Germans are not prudes
Public nudity is accepted in a lot of areas and Germans are not prudes. Saunas and pools are
no exception, even in public parks, people bare their bodies to catch a few rays. Talking about
sex is common and the nudity on television delighted my son when he was a teenager. Sex
shops are a common occurence in most major cities and prostitution is legal so hang up your
Puritan ways before heading to Germany.
5) Germans eat everything on their plate
If you fail to eat everything that is on your plate you are likely to be asked by the waiter or
waitress or your hostess if everything was OK. You are also likely to be scolded for not eating
enough. As someone that was taught that leaving a little on the plate was good manners, I am
very conflicted over this.
6) Germans like their rules
In Germany, it seems there is a rule for everything. You have to abide by quiet times
(generally between 1 pm and 3 pm weekdays and most of the day on Sundays) in residential
neighborhoods. Walking across the grass in parks is frowned upon you are supposed to stay
on the paths. Never, ever question authority, it is simply not a good idea.
7) Germans love their autos and the autobahn
Given the choice between giving up a wife and a car, the German will give up his wife. I
have heard this often from German men and know for a fact that the love affair with the auto
is a fact. Cars are a status symbol with a luxury car you can drive up to any hotel and get
premium service. Not only that but the luxury cars in Germany are fast and when there is no
traffic on the autobahn you can go up to 200 km an hour. I now, I did it in my Audi A8 and
understand the love affair.

23

8.) Germans love their dogs

German dogs are the most well-behaved dogs I have ever seen. Whether in restaurants or on
the streets, the dogs walk without leashes, keep their master in sight and dont fight with other
dogs. I dont know if it is a law or not, but they must make these dogs go to school. I have
never seen such well behaved dogs in my life. On the other hand, I have friends that actually
have birthday parties for their dogs, inviting all the doggie friends over for bisquits and bones.
Hey, dogs rule!
9) Germans are good guests, hosts and partyers
Germans always bring flowers, a gift or wine when they come for dinner. Tables are always set and
food is plentiful when you visit and you are never asked to help wash the dishes or clear the table.
Whats even better is Germans throw their own birthday parties which absolves you of having to
worry about organizing anything. Sit down at a table with a group of Germans at a festival and they
will readily invite you into their conversation.
10) The German Way A Personal Perspective (source unknown)

Germans can be a little idionsynchratic. Ask any German. Of course, there is a danger in
generalizing about anything or anyone but I speak from experience here. Germans are great
people, fun-loving, great hosts, generally pretty well-educated and very open to dumb
questions from people like me.
I love the German people. I get a kick out of elderly ladies that tell me not to cross at the red
light or the businessman that tells me to keep my feet off the seats on the subway. I love the
fact that a hotel proprietor in Germany threatened to call the Tourism Board and report me
when I complained about service (I always thought it was the other way around). I love the
fact that I got thrown out of a sex shop for giggling with my girl friends over the products and
that my German friends are extremely observant of rules that are not even rules anymore.
OK, I almost get run down by mad cyclists at least once a day, I live in terror of not cleaning
my plate, and I have been driven almost to tears by German directness. German rules are
beyond me you cannot grill meat if it bothers your neighbors, but you are free to visit a
brothel or wander around nude in your apartment with all the drapes open. You cannot make
noise after 10 pm but that is when the fireworks start so who is sleeping anyhow? You need to
notify your neighbors in writing if you are going to have a party. The interesting thing is that
if you do this, you can party till the cows come home.
I find the dog thing refreshing and the car thing a hella lotta fun and I love the openness of
Germans. You, of course, will not need to deal with most of this, other than mad cyclists and
occasional chidings from Germans. You will be welcomed, asked questions about your home
and are likely to be invited for an evening out. You will gain weight because waiters are
looking out for you. With luck, you can speed down the autobahn in a high performance auto.
Whats not to like?

***

24

Felix the flying frog

A Parable about Modern Management

25

Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet frog named Felix.
Clarence lived a modestly comfortable existence on what he earned working at the WalMart, but he always dreamed of being rich. "Felix!" he said one day, hit by sudden
inspiration, "We're going to be rich! I will teach you to fly!"
Felix, of course, was terrified at the prospect. "I can't fly, you twit! I'm a frog, not a
canary!"
Clarence, disappointed at the initial response, told Felix: "That negative attitude of yours
could be a real problem. I'm sending you to class." So Felix went to a three-day course
and learned about problem solving, time management, and effective communication - but
nothing about flying.
On the first day of the "flying lessons," Clarence could barely control his excitement (and
Felix could barely control his bladder). Clarence explained that their apartment building
had 15 floors, and each day Felix would jump out of a window, starting with the first floor
and eventually getting to the top floor. After each jump, Felix would analyze how well he
flew, isolate the most effective flying techniques, and implement the improved process for
the next flight. By the time they reached the top floor, Felix would surely be able to fly.
Felix pleaded for his life, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. "He just doesn't understand how
important this is," thought Clarence. "He can't see the big picture."
So, with that, Clarence opened the window and threw Felix out. He landed with a thud.
The next day, poised for his second flying lesson, Felix again begged not to be thrown
out of the window. Clarence opened his pocket guide to "Managing More Effectively," and
showed Felix the part about how one must always expect resistance when introducing
new, innovative programs.
With that, he threw Felix out the window-THUD! On the third day (at the third floor), Felix
tried a different ploy: stalling. He asked for a delay in the "project" until better weather
would make flying conditions more favorable.
But Clarence was ready for him: He produced a time line and pointed to the third
Milestone and asked. "You don't want to slip up the schedule, do you?" From his training,
Felix knew that not jumping today would only mean that he would have to jump TWICE
tomorrow. So he just muttered, "OK, yeeha, let's go." And out the window he went.
Now this is not to say that Felix wasn't trying his best. On the fifth day he flapped his legs
madly in a vain attempt at flying. On the sixth day, he tied a small red cape around his
neck and tried to think "Superman" thoughts. It didn't help. By the seventh day, Felix,
accepting his fate, no longer begged for mercy. He simply looked at Clarence and said,
"You know you're killing me, don't you?"
Clarence pointed out that Felix's performance so far had been less than exemplary;
failing to meet any of the milestone goals he had set for him. With that, Felix said quietly,
"Shut up and open the window," and he leaped out, taking careful aim at the large jagged
rock by the corner of the building. Felix went to that great lily pad in the sky.

26

Clarence was extremely upset, as his project had failed to fly, he hadn't even learned to
steer his fall as he dropped like a sack of cement, nor had he heeded Clarence's advice
to "Fall smarter, not harder."
The only thing left for Clarence to do was to analyze the process and try to determine
where it had gone wrong. After much thought, Clarence smiled and said, "Next time, I'm
getting a smarter frog!"
So Clarence set out to do this. He advertised in the local newspapers and found
hundreds of frogs for the void left by Felix. (Because he had wisely left out the exact job
requirement from the advertisement). He selected the ten with the highest FGPA (frog
grade point average) and formed a team to accomplish what he had failed to do with
Felix.
This team went through the same three day course as Felix and were full of enthusiasm
and positive attitude. Feeling that this might be the right time, Clarence told his team
what exactly was required of them. It didnt take long for the positive attitude to be
replaced by cynicism. However the most outspoken frog of the lot, Peter, (one who had
already been marked by Clarence as having distinct upper management qualities)
refused to let the apparent difficulty of the task deter him. He quickly formed a subcommittee of five frogs to plan the project and himself started effort estimation. And he
also chose Dave and Sam, both of whom he didnt like very much, to be the first to learn
to fly.
Needless to say, Dave and Sam didnt live very long. The flying lessons continued with
the frogs joining Felix one by one. When only Peter was left, he tendered his resignation
to Clarence, stating low employee commitment as his reason for dissatisfaction with the
project and joined another company where he was put in charge of training frogs to fly a
Mig-21.
Clarence's company, 'Flighty Solutions', was now finding it difficult to convince its
customers that their frogs could fly. The marketing team was told to prepare some
aggressive marketing strategies to boost the sagging image of the company. A week
later they had a meeting with the top level managers in which they outlined their ideas for
an advertising campaign.
Concluding a snazzy Power point presentation, the marketing team said "The frogs were
in the air from the time they went out of the window to the time they hit the ground.
Technically, therefore, they were flying. From our test records, we found that two frogs
flew for 5 seconds, three for 7 seconds, and 4 for 8 seconds, which gives us an average
of seven seconds flying time per frog. Our new marketing slogan will be 'Fly for seven
seconds with Flighty' "
The managers were duly impressed and Clarence set out to recruit a new team.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYMsBJlWJg0

(One Giant leap Video)

27

How to Fire Your Consultants!

Why don't you fire your consultants? It's a provocative question and its tough to answer, but
CEOs, you're part of the problem. In fact, when it comes to getting value from your multitude
of consulting engagements, you're the main problem. The simple truth is that you don't often
fire your consultants because you depend on them. They nurture that dependent relationship,
in fact. It's just good business for them.
So says Gordon Perchthold, co-author of Extract Value from Consultants: How to Hire,
Control, and Fire Them. Perchthold, a consultant himself, says overreliance on consulting
talent can mean a lot of wasted money for the widget manufacturer as well as the hospital or
health system. Over consulting can as well mean lackluster results and lower morale from
lieutenants and the rank-and-file. Right, you're saying. So tell me something I don't know.
OK, try this contention on for size: CEOs get addicted to consultants, and no matter how
savvy they are, top executives often get roped in by tricks of the trade that sometimes stretch a
consulting engagement for a relatively small matter into a years-long relationship that's more
beneficial for the consultant's employer than for, you, the client.
Like substance abuse, says Perchtold, the first step to getting help is to admit you have a
problem.

28

"Consultants do have a role," he says. "Organizations have execs who build up silos that work
against change and consultants can help with that. But as soon as they are on board,
consultants start working the relationship. They spend quite a lot of time to persuade the execs
take actions that the consultants want and that usually results in follow-on work."
So why are Perchtold, and his coauthor Jenny Sutton, spilling the secrets of the trade? First,
they do have a book to promote, and they've seen the way some consulting firms build longterm relationships with clients that may not serve the client as much as the consulting
company. A lot of CEOs are former consultants themselves, so they might be familiar with
"problem creep." That's the practice of consultants working to find engagements for their
colleagues back in the office who are looking for billable gigs. But that makes consulting
engagements inefficient at least and borderline unethical at worst.
"A lot of CEOs are former consultants and what happens is they bring in their former
employer," Perchtold says. "We've challenged that because there's a conflict of interest in the
selection process."
But who's watching to make sure the client is the one who's benefitting from the relationship?
In many cases, no one, Perchtold says. He's careful to note that he's not trying to denigrate the
profession or to contend that something illegal or unethical is going every time a certain group
of consultants gets ingrained into an organization's culture. Consultants are often brought in to
cure inefficiencies or find ways to cut costs. The irony is that the consulting budget may be
among the most bloated and inefficient of all categories of spending within an organization.
Perchtold contends that a few large organizations have such a poor grasp on how much they're
spending on consultants across the board that they sometimes have to hire a consultant to
figure that out.
"A lot of times the consultants will be one of the highest-spend categories, but they do all they
can to minimize the truth that they are one of the major categories," he says.
The issue with a lot of consulting spending is that the employees who are doing the work with
them in the organization come from the operational side.
"They never learn about managing the consultants, and what you have is inexperienced
operations people matched up with consultants who come from the best business schools and
who manage their own consultant colleagues every day. The result is that they are good at
managing clients for their own objectives."
The idea isn't that you're being swindled, rather that most consulting firms will deliver
something, but not as much as they could, because they have "leveraged" themselves into
activities over which they have less and less knowledge over time.
"That's how they drive up their own revenue," he says.
It's difficult to distill a lot of the lessons Perchtold and Sutton have for those who hire
consultants based on a half-hour conversation, but the essence is that most clients haven't
stepped back and analyzed whether they're getting the most value out of the engagement. The
authors have some fairly simple rules to follow when purchasing consulting time and talent:

29

1. Define the problem yourself

Too often, executives leave it up to the consulting firm to define the problem. But consulting
firms will view each client's problem through the prism of their own capabilities and
solutions. Executives must understand the desired results of the project and ensure the
consultants are focused on finding the specific solution to their problem.
2. Dictate how to structure the project
Consulting firms will always attempt to maximize the consulting headcount for the projects
they propose. Commonly, buyers complacently accept the project structure that comes along
with the proposal. However, most projects underuse the resources in the buyer's organization.
From the first draft of a proposal, buyers need to analyze what is being offered, look into their
own organization for dollar-saving opportunities, and challenge the proposed approach and
team composition with their own recommended changes.
3. Oversee the execution of the project with adequate direction
Consultants should be managed just as any other team reporting to the manager, and should
not be allowed to reschedule work, redefine scope, substitute resources or make significant
decisions without the knowledge and agreement of the client manager.
4. Ensure the desired results are achieved before they walk away with all their fees
Without proper management and evaluation, consultants too often get paid for just putting in
the work hours instead of producing the results. In today's economic climate, there is greater
expectation and governance surrounding pay for true performance over the mid to long-term.
Buyers must create a stronger tie between fees paid to consultants and the benefits a business
receives over the mid to long-term to ensure they are receiving maximum value.
Furthermore, you need to check on your employees who might hire consultants, including
yourself, Perchtold says. It's good practice to form an independent review committee to make
recommendations about consulting work, chaired by the chief financial officer, who should
know exactly how much the organization is spending on consulting as well as have some idea
of the value gained, independent of any analysis the consulting firm is conducting. It's also
never a bad idea to have a board member on that committee who understands consulting and
value.
Second, never sign a contract for follow-on work to an existing consulting engagement
without putting it out for competitive bidding. Watch out for consulting firms that define your
problem, rather than having a relationship that starts with you or your people defining the
problem and bringing it to the consultant in the search for solutions.
After all, it's your organization's money. Don't depend on a consultant to tell you whether
you're getting the right value in spending it.

***

30

10 Things Women Do To Ruin Their

Careers

And getting pregnant isn't one of 'them!

Here are the Top 10 things women shouldn't do if they want to get to the top:
1. Women tend to speak softly - you are not heard.
2. Women groom in public - emphasizes your femininity and deemphasizes your capability.
3. Women sit demurely - the power position when seated at a table is forearms resting on a
table and resting forward.
4. Speak last in meetings - early speakers are seen as more assertive and knowledgeable than
late speakers.
5. Women ask permission - children are taught to ask permission. Men don't ask permission,
they inform.
6. Apologize - women apologize for the smallest error which erodes your self-confidence.
Men tend to move into problem solving mode.
7. Women tend to smile inappropriately when delivering a message; therefore you are not
taken seriously.
8. Play fair - women tend to be more naive. A woman might assume the rules have to be
obeyed, whereas a man will figure out a way to stretch the rules and not be punished.

31

9. Being invisible - women tend to operate behind the scenes and end up handing the credit
over to a competitor.
10. Offer a limp handshake - one good pump and a concise greeting combined with solid eye
contact will do the trick.
In other words, to get on, women should behave like MEN!

Know how to save your career!

Ten Characteristics of the Alpha Female

Alpha Women-Beyond ALL THAT...........

She is feminine, highly intelligent and supremely and utterly confident- and KNOWS it. She
is not hesitant in using those attributes to achieve her ends.

32

33

She is extremely comfortable being in

the dominant role in a relationship

She is not afraid of taking the more dominant role in the relationship. Who says that men have
to be the dominant one? Not her. To her, traditional gender roles are 19th century in their
premise.

34

Power is second nature to her

She is comfortable with power. Power means being in charge of one's destiny and OWNING
one's life. It also means BEING THERE for others and making the world a much better place
for humankind.

35

The Highly Successful, Self-Confident,

and Independent Woman
The alpha female is supreme among other females. She is also the queen among them. Other
females often look to the alpha female for leadership. However, there are some females who
feel threatened by the alpha female because this female tolerates no nonsense and does not
believe in game playing and one-upmanship. Now here are the ten characteristics of the alpha
female:
(1) She is never embarrassed to ask for what she wants. Assertive is not a word that she is
uncomfortable with. In fact, being assertive is second nature to her. She believes that all right
thinking people should be never been hesitant regarding having their desires and wants met.
To her, you should be able to be responsible for your own life and take care of yourself. The
very idea that a person who refuses to ask for what he/she wants is a total anathema to her.
Does that person want to be rescued? Asking for what one wants is what life is all about. Her
motto is that life is for the takers and participators. Being indecisive and wishy-washy is not
in her vocabulary.
(2) She enjoys being on an equal or superior spar with men. Why not? The idea that she must
subvert her intelligence and other strong attributes and characteristics because she is a woman
is so 19th century. She believes that a confident, intelligent, and mature man is not threatened
by a powerful and highly successful woman.
In fact, such men welcome such women because they are on a par with them. Furthermore,
she believes that men are just other people, no more, no less. She does not believe in playing
the weak damsel in distress. In fact, she is loathe to play silly, coquettish games of any kind.
In fact, this inane affectation would sicken her to say the very least. Her motto-weak and
insecure men need not apply!

36

(3) She is not passive regarding the pursuance of any type of pleasure. To her being a woman
is not equated with being passive. Not at all. She is oftentimes the initiator regarding seeking
all avenues of fulfillment. This often including the sexual arenas. To be passive in her eyes
means to be acquiescent in life and she is anything but acquiescent. In her eyes, that is
equivalent to being owned and she does not want to be owned-not by tangle and/or intangible
constructs. She is proactive regarding approaching her life. To her, life is for the active and
aggressive!
(4) She does not mind being wildly and uninhibitedly feminine and sexy. To her, being
feminine, beautiful, and sexy are not antitheses to being independent, powerful, and liberated.
In fact, the former words are quite analogous to the latter words. She views sexual stereotypes
is limited and atavistic labels that limits the full human being. She believes that human beings
are beyond stereotypes which are only artificial constructs to describe the full human being.
To her, the old stereotype of being a feminine woman is morbidly suffocating to her. She
refuses to view the being beautiful, feminine, sexy, liberated, and independent as oxymorons.
(5) She does not mind at all if a man earns less than she does as long as he contributes to the
relationship and upholds his end regarding household responsibilities. Who says that a man
has to earn more than a woman? Not her.
She does not subscribe to such outdated and utterly sexist paradigms and philosophies. She
believes what a person earns is not based upon gender but by measured and immeasurable
qualifications. She feels that it is quite normal and acceptable in some circumstances for a
woman to out earn a man, so be it. She does not mind being the breadwinner in the family if
need be.
(6) She believes in having a career to establish her self-worth and independence. She believes
in being a contributor to life. She feels when one contributes to life, one is truly a full and
authentic person. She also feels worthwhile as a consequence of being a contributor.
Furthermore, a contributor always leaves a posthumous mark to the society and world at
large. In other words, the contributor has made an imprint in life.
For her a career does that. A career is why for her to use and exhibit her intelligence and
talent for the world to see. She also gets a sense of self-actualization regarding a career. In her
eyes, nothing makes a woman more self-fulfilled and self-actualized than to have a satisfying
career. It is the ultimate aphrodisiac and elixir in her eyes. Besides that, having a career means
power and power has its own rewards. Being powerful means calling a shot caller which
translates into OWNERSHIP. Nothing makes an alpha woman happier than to own and be in
charge of one's destiny.
(7) She thrives on being in responsible positions and being in charge. Being responsible for
others is equate to power for her. She is highly, if not prodigiously, intelligent. She also
believes that she is more than highly capable of the task at hand. Since she knows that for a
fact, who is better than she to assume high powered and responsible positions. She is THE
BEST at what she does and NO ONE can do it better than she.
Furthermore, power means being a mentor and of help to others, cultivating, encouraging, and
develop their human potential for her good and that of the firm. To her power is an integral
part of the human construct. Either one has power which means that one can be highly
proactive and influential in the events of humankind or one is utterly powerless, always being
at the behest of others. She refuses to be on a proverbial leash, only answering to herself.

37

(8) She refuses to believe in the antiquated concept that one becomes less agile and more
infirm with age. Age is just a number to her. Besides, it is such an artificial construct which
means nothing in the scheme of things. She is the type of woman who often remains vital in
her old age.
She thinks that anyone who succumbs to atavistic stereotypes regarding aging needs a good
psychiatrist or better yet should starting broadening his/her life perception-and fast! She, for
one, is not going to become an old lady. Think of Betty White, a nonagenarian, and Rita
Moreno, an octogenarian, quite youthful ladies who totally exemplify that one is as young as
one believes one's self to be. These ladies keep being fierce and get even fiercer with each
passing year!
(9) She does not believe in complaining and whining. She sees complaining and whining as
abject passivity and refusal to improve the negative circumstances of one's life. She
furthermore view complaining and whining as a sign of being a borderline psychotic. She
figures that if one is mentally healthy and mature, he/she should remedy his/her life if it is less
than positive and/or satisfying.
She believes that everyone's life has some percentage of difficulty and hardship in it. To just
complain and whiny is a total waste of energy. That energy is better served in assessing,
challenging, and solving what adversities, difficulties, and/or other problems one may have.
Besides she maintain, other people, unless they are close to you, are uninterested in listening
to your lamentations. She staunchly believes that complainers and whiners are total wimps
who should be horsewhipped into sanity and maturity! There is no need to say on this issue!
(10) She takes no quarter and believes in no excuses. She believes if one makes one bed,
he/she should lie in it, either for good or bad. In other words, one reaps what one sows. If one
exerts little or no effort, do not expect to reap tremendous rewards.
She finds it totally non-plausible that many people want success and other types of rewards in
life but refuse to put in the necessary organization, planning, and sacrifices to obtain their
goals. When they do not achieve their desired goals, they blame everyone and everything but
themselves.
This excuse making really incenses her to the millionth degree. Stop with the excuses already,
she reasons. To her, people find it easier to make numerous excuses if their lives do not go the
way they want than to look into the issues at hand. Her motto is that each person has what
he/she strives for and deserves, nothing more and nothing less!
In summation, the alpha woman is a no-nonsense woman. She is supremely confident and
self-assured. She knows what she wants, how to ask for, and obtain it. She is also a true
realist, no sugarcoating life situations for her. She likes life at its most unadulterated essence.
She appreciates the good and can learn and improve from the bad in life. She also knows how
to make the bad exceedingly beneficial for her.
She does not believe in antiquated gender stereotypes for that does not even touch the iceberg
with her as far as she is concerned. She is beyond stereotypes. She is a take charge woman
who makes no excuses in life. She is and has what she earns and deserves. Now you have my
synopsis on the ten characteristics of the alpha female. The alpha female is totally unique
among other women! In fact, she is a prototype of women in the 21st century and beyond.

38

Picture Source: Images Google.com

***
39

Me Tarzan. You Jane. Basta!

Why women cant be like men, no matter how hard they try and vice versa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk

This subject has fascinated man since the dark ages. So many books, articles and research
papers have been written about this topic but yet we fail to understand that basic differences
do exist and we just cannot change these facts no matter how hard we try to integrate man and
woman into one harmonious unit.
So here are the basic common facts again:

40

Men Have Bigger Brains, but It Doesnt Make Them Smarter

On average, mens brains are 8 to 10 percent bigger than womens brains. While that may not
seem surprising, given that mens bodies tend to be larger overall, even after correcting for
body weight, its been estimated that men have about 4 percent more neurons than women do.
But before men jump on these findings as proof of brain superiority, scientists point out that
these size differences arent distributed uniformly in all brain regions. In a study using MRI
scans, Dr. Jill Goldstein at Harvard Medical School found that compared to men, women have
larger volume in both the frontal cortex (the inner CEO) and the limbic cortex, involved in
emotional responses.
This may explain why women tend to be less impulsive and more concerned with emotions
than men are, says Dr. Amen, who theorizes that a bigger and more active frontal cortex
suggests that women are wired for leadershipand may actually be better bosses than men.
Consider the intriguing result of a recent study in which teams of men and women were
assigned tasks that involved brainstorming, decision-making, and solving visual puzzles.
Teams were given collective IQ scores based on their performance.
Conventional wisdom would infer the team made up of people with the highest individual IQ
scores (thus the highest total IQ) should emerge victorious. However, the collective IQ scores
were based on how they completed the assigned tasks as a team. And the teams with the
highest collective IQs were those with more women, Harvard Business Review reports.
Women Have Better Memories, Worse Sense of Direction
Dr. Amens research shows that women have greater activity in the brains hippocampus.
Guys, if you wonder why your wife or girlfriend never forgets anything, heres your answer:
The hippocampus is the part of the brain that helps store memories.
In a 2008 study, Swedish psychologists found significant sex differences in several types of
memory, favoring women in all almost all of the areas studied.
Specifically, women excelled at recalling words, pictures, objects, and everyday events. They
also outperformed men on such tasks as recalling the location of car keys or remembering
faces (particularly those of other women).
However, the psychologists also found that men have the edge in a type of memory called
visuospatial processing. For example, the study results suggested that a man would be more
likely to remember how to find his way out of the woods.
Theres quite a bit of scientific evidence that men have a keener sense of direction than
women do, adds Dr. Amen. Overall, men are better at getting from point A to point B, but
are also less likely to realize it if they take the wrong turn. Thats why men are famously
reluctant to ask for directions: They dont realize theyre lost.

41

Warning Signs of Alzheimer's Disease

Women Live Longer, But On Average Men Are Happier
Studies suggest that women have greater self-control and levels of what Dr. Amen terms
appropriate worry. For example, women tend to take better care of their health, visit the
doctor more often, and behave less recklessly.
Women also have lower rates of substance abuse, anti-social personality disorder, and ADHD.
And theyre 14 times less likely to go to jailand even get fewer traffic tickets than men do.
These points are actually quite fascinating, says Dr. Amen, because appropriate worry
about negative consequences could be a key factor in why women outlive men. In one large
study, researchers found that those with a dont worry, be happy attitudei.e. young men
with motorcyclesdied earlier from fatal accidents and preventable illness.
However, the dark side of womens higher level of worry is that they are more prone to
anxiety disorders and depression, which strikes women at nearly double the rate it does men,
according to the Mayo Clinic. At some point in life, about 1 in 5 women develop clinical
depression.
One reason why women may be more vulnerable is that mens brains, on average, produce 52
percent more serotonin, according to a recent study by University of Montreal researchers.
This feel-good brain chemical has been dubbed the happy hormone.
How are the most important 10 points about Tarzan and Jane:
Most people are intrigued by the thought processes of the opposite sex. Despite rumors to the
contrary, men and women are from the same planet. However, there are many differences
between the brains of men and women.
1. Brain size: The male brain is typically about ten percent larger than the female brain.
Although the extra mass does give males more processing power, this doesnt make men more
intelligent. Rather, science believes the reason for the increased brain mass is to accommodate
the bigger body mass and muscle groups of the male (human).
2. Brain hemispheres: Many men are sharply left-brain dominant, while women tend to be
more evenly balanced between left and right-brain processing. Women are therefore thought
to be slightly more intuitive and sometimes better communicators. Men are often less socially
adept, and are more task-oriented thinkers than females. Mens brains exist in boxes:
Women try to open up those boxes. They are made up of a big ball of wire, connected to
everything. They need to care about everything.
3. Relationships: Women are purported to have better communication skills and emotional
intelligence than men. Women tend to be group-oriented, and apt to seek solutions by talking
through issues. Men can have trouble picking up on emotional cues unless theyre clearly
verbalized making for tricky communications between the sexes.
4. Mathematical skills: The inferior-parietal lobule, which controls numerical brain function,
is larger in males than in females. On standardized tests, men often score higher on
mathematical tests than women.

42

5. Stress: When faced with stressful situations, men usually employ fight or flight tactics,
while women use a tend or befriend response that is rooted in their natural instincts for
caring for their children and establishing strong group bonds.
6. Language: Women often excel at language-based tasks for two reasons: two brain areas
that deal with language are larger in females, and females process language in both
hemispheres while males favor a single brain half.
7. Emotions: Since women tend to have a larger deep limbic system then men, theyre more
in touch with their feelings and are better at expressing their emotions. This makes women
better at connecting with others, but unfortunately also more prone to different types of
depression.
The dark side:

Empathy can morph into an overwhelming sense that the world is riding on your
shoulders and that you have to take care of everyone else before you take care of
yourself.
Intuition can make you feel anxious as you know somethings wrong...before you
check it out. Sometimes your brain lies to you and you can be worrying about
something that just isnt true.
Being too collaborative can slow you down.
Self-control can turn into trying to control those around you.
And the worry that is so useful in small doses can stress you to the point where it hurts
your brain and wont allow you to rest.

8. Spatial abilities: The parietal region is thicker in the female brain, making it harder for
them to mentally rotate objects an important spatial skill. Women often report difficulty
with spatial tasks, both on tests and in real life. Want to test this theory with a loved one? Play
HAPPYneurons visual-spatial game Points of View and test each others ability.
9. Susceptibility to brain function disorders: Men are more likely to be dyslexic or have
other language disabilities, since theyre more often left-brain dominant. Males are also more
prone to autism, ADHD and Tourettes Syndrome, while women are more susceptible to
mood disorders like anxiety and depression.
And finally point 10!
10. There are more fakers in business than in jail. Malcolm Forbes
Now according to research done by Forbes, more men lie than women. When men lie, its
often to look bigger taller, richer, more powerful and more sexually attractive. In both
personal ads and in face-to-face conversations, men tend to inflate the numbers by saying
they make more money than they do, are taller than they are and have had more sexual
partners than is factual.
Women, by contrast, tend to use lies to minimize they pretend they are younger, weigh less,
and have had fewer sexual partners.
In the workplace males and females alike fib, flatter, fabricate, prevaricate, equivocate,
embellish, take liberties with, bend, or stretch the truth. They boast, conceal, falsify,
omit, spread gossip, misinform, or cover-up embarrassing (perhaps even unethical) acts. They

43

lie in order to avoid accepting responsibility, to build status and power, to protect others
from hearing a negative truth, to preserve a sense of autonomy, to keep their jobs, to get out of
unwanted work, to get on the good side of the boss, to be perceived as team players when
their main interest is self-interest. They lie because theyre under pressure to perform and
because (as one co-worker observed about his teammates) they lack the guts to tell the boss
that what is being asked isnt doable.
It is found that men are significantly more likely than women to lie to secure a monetary
benefit.
In the workplace, men tell more self-centered lies. They lie about their accomplishments,
salaries, and status in an attempt to appear more powerful or interesting than they are.
Women also tell self-centered lies, but (and this is most apparent in their business dealings
with other females) they tell more other-oriented lies. In my interviews, female managers
frequently reported lying to protect someones feelings: Its something Im working on. I
know how important it is to be totally candid with my staff especially during their
performance reviews but I still hate to say anything that makes someone feel bad.
Women are also more likely to fake positive feelings which are one reason that women
smile more than men. While smiling can be a powerful and positive nonverbal cue
especially for signaling likeability and friendliness women should be aware that, when
excessive or inappropriate, smiling could also be confusing and downright deceptive. This is
especially true if you smile while discussing a serious subject, expressing anger, or giving
negative feedback.
So, yes, because men are more boastful they can reasonably be described as bigger liars.
And womens other-focused, often well-intentioned lies (because they are less blatantly selfserving), can reasonably be described as smaller. But that isnt the entire story. Are men
bigger liars than women? The real answer is: it depends on the destructive effect of the lie
being told.
So please remember, whats true in other facets of life is just as true of lying: Size isnt
everything!
BY THE WAY, JUST A QUICK WORD ABOUT TESTOSTERONE:
When most people hear the word testosterone, they think of aggressive behavior.
There is a link between the two, at least in competitive situations, such as with a peer or for a
sexual partner. However, there appears to be a subtler interplay between testosterone and
behavior in other types of situations, in both men and women.
Here are a few facts about the "male hormone":
Women in love have more:
Women in love have higher testosterone for the few months after a relationship starts than
women who are single or in long-term relationships, a small Italian study suggests.
The opposite is true for men; those newly in love have lower testosterone than men flying
solo or with a long-term partner.

44

As with early passion, though, the changes don't last. When the researchers tested the study
participants again one to two years later, the differences had disappeared.
Making money affects it:
Young men who are futures traders get a testosterone spike on days when they make an
above-average profit, British researchers found.
And on the mornings when men's testosterone levels were higher than average, their average
afternoon profits were higher than on their low-testosterone days, suggesting a possible causeand-effect relationship.
More experienced traders showed an even stronger tie between testosterone and profits.
To conclude:
Tarzan is Tarzan and Jane is Jane.
Let us not confuse these differences!

***

45

My Mother, My Secretary!
A Summary of the Characteristics and Effects
of the Mother Secretary and the Child Boss
Relationship

So much information is written about secretaries and their bosses but has anyone thought
about what makes a certain boss enjoy a motherly secretary and why he cannot survive
without his mother at his side or vise-versa?
Well, over the years I have moved through numerous board rooms and executive offices and
have met several bosses and their secretaries. But one thing that struck me was the motherly
relationships certain bosses enjoy with their secretaries. It dawned on me that there co-existed
a type of mutual dependency from both sides:
The female secretary needed someone to mother and the male boss needed the reassurance of
this mother in his work life. In fact, these types of relationships that I witnessed often
resulted in a very healthy or unhealthy working symbiosis. In other words: The one could not
do without the other.

46

I started researching this phenomenon with my own clients and their secretaries and came up
with some astonishing results. Namely:
Characteristics of the Secretary:

Aged between 45-58

Fairly attractive
Few pounds overweight
Looked similar to the bosses own biological mother
Neatly dressed
Well spoken
Unmarried, divorced or widowed
Children have left the nest
Childless but has animals at home
Intelligent and well educated
Loves her home
Enjoys cooking and baking (often for her boss)
Good hostess
Spends much time reading, gardening or with interesting hobbies
Has a small circle of close friends
Occasionally travels
Member of the local club
Needs confirmation of her self-worth
Feeds on the attention of her boss
Good conversationalist and listener
Often acts as a psychologist or consultant for her boss

Characteristics of the Boss:

Only child or a middle child

Is divorced, widowed or married
Few pounds overweight (sometimes due to the Secretaries good cooking)
Breast feeding mentality
Little sporting activity or too much
Has children or no children
Separation anxiety from the real mother
Fantasizes about a mother he never had
Needs to compensate for the beloved mother he has lost
Insecure decision maker
Needs continuous reassurance of his self-worth/esteem
Requires confirmation of his work: e.g. Is he doing everything right!
Receives little support or acknowledgement from his own wife
Often criticized at home by wife (if he has one) or kids

47

Can only thrive in his private and business life with this type of motherly secretary
Seeks continuous lifestyle balance
Total dependency on his secretary to arrange his life: from birthdays to every
appointment
Has little control over his own calendar. Reaction is often: Ask my secretary
His secretary even controls who he should date, or marry (if he is single)

Unfortunately both the Secretary and the Boss influence a negative feedback loop. The
one cannot survive without the other. For example, many of these types of bosses
who have been given a transfer to another city or even country have taken their old
secretaries with them. On one occasion a certain Mr. X lost his secretary due to a long
illness. She had been on his side for over 25 years. He rapidly lost all interest in his
work and private life. We did all that we could to help him find a replacement.
Eventually, he decided on his own to leave the company and take early retirement.
Finally, I am not saying that all these types of bosses end up that way but many do
have it tough trying to let go of the umbilical cord. They try to compensate for this
loss by frantically searching for a similar replacement in order to bring back that
feeling of love and closeness which they need to exist. But, unfortunately, many have
never learnt to get weaned off the breast. After all, nothing is nicer than the
closeness of a mothers love and warmth. This type of relationship only becomes
pathologically critical when the Secretary makes her Boss totally dependent on her in
every aspect of his daily life. Often the withdrawal syndromes manifest themselves
over time with headaches, loss of appetite, depression or even tablet dependency. She
knows his strengths and weaknesses and cunningly manipulates the situation to
achieve her goals, namely complete control over her Child. One could call it the
Munchhausen Syndrome, a fabricated or induced dependency or illness.
The question is: How do you perceive your professional working relationship with
your secretary or with your boss? Are you the Mother or are you the Child ?

***

48

Management Humour

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He
descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet
him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am.
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the
ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west
longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what
to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If
anything, you have delayed my trip.

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but
how did you know?
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to
where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve
your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now,
somehow, it's my fault."

49

The American and Japanese Team

The American and the Japanese corporate offices for a large multi-national corporation
decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach
their peak performance.
On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterward, the American
team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the
reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate
the problem and recommended corrective action.
The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering;
the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the firm concluded that too
many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.
So, as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure
was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering
managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide
work incentive.
The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American office laid-off the
rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

50

Five Monkeys, a Banana, and Corporate Culture

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and
place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb
towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold
water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other
monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the
stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new
one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and
horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if
he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The
newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the
punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then
a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most
of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the
stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been
sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for
the banana.
Why not?
Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins.

51

A doctor, a lawyer and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a
mistress.
The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it
causes all sorts of legal problems."
The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress
and is good for your health."
The manager says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks
you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife -- you can go to the
office and do some work.

3 Envelopes

A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last
day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk
drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve."
Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his
predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!"
He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious
product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read,
"Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says
"Prepare three envelopes".

52

The Parrot

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking
parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".
"Why does the parrot cost so much, asks the man.
The shop owner says, "Well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".
The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it
can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating
system.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs
2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?"
To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other
two call him boss!"

Failing organizations are usually over-managed and under-led.

Warren G. Bennis

By three measures a manager is known:

- The thickness of the carpet in his office.

- The area of his desk.
- The volume of his car's engine.

53

Committee Rules
Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular it's what everyone is waiting for.

Harry Chapman
Committee: a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that
nothing can be done.
Fred Allen

The Crocodile

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of
the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge
pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an
executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me a CEO. So this is my
challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through
those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My
job, my money, my house, anything!"
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the
estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief
Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right
and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge
alligator snaps at his shoes.
The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen
anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and everything I own is yours. Tell
me what I can do for you."
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can tell me who the hell pushed me in
the pool!"

54

The Farmer

The manager of a large corporation got a heart attack, and the doctor told him to go for
several weeks to a farm to relax. The guy went to a farm, and after a couple of days he was
very bored, so he asked the farmer to give him some job to do.
The farmer told him to clean the shit of the cows. The farmer thought that to somebody
coming from the city, working the whole life sitting in an office, it will take over a week to
finish the job, but for his surprise the manager finished the job in less than one day.
The next day the farmer gave to the manager a more difficult job: to cut the heads of 500
chickens. The farmer was sure that the manager will not be able to do the job, but at the end
of the day the job was done.
The next morning, as most of the jobs in the farm were done, the farmer asked the manager to
divide a bag of potatoes in two boxes: one box with small potatoes, and one box with big
potatoes.
At the end of the day the farmer saw that the manager was sitting in front of the potatoes bag,
but the two boxes were empty. The farmer asked the manager: "How is that you made such
difficult jobs during the first days, and now you cannot do this simple job?"
The manager answered: "Listen, all my life I'm cutting heads and dealing with shit, but now
you ask me to make decisions."

I sit here all day trying to persuade people to do the things they ought to have sense
enough to do without my persuading them.
Harry S. Truman

55

Management Revisited
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or
even what book.
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor
File".
We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.
Management by objectives is no better than the objectives.
"I've given you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!"

The Light Bulb

How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?

A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.
None, they like to keep employees in the dark.
"This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution
of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile..."
"We've formed a task-force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to figure
out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder."
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
"I want a detailed memo about this issue till tomorrow's morning."
"You were supposed to have changed that light bulb last week!"
"We haven't got a policy on that".
"I am on my way to a very important meeting, so we'll discuss it some other time."
Three. Two to find out if it needs changing, and one to tell an employee to change it.

56

The Psychology of Pyramid Schemes

MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING OR ILLEGAL PYRAMID SCHEME?
What is the Difference?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQLUyLHi9qc

Pyramid Schemes
As in Ponzi schemes, the money collected from newer victims of the fraud is paid to
earlier victims to provide a veneer of legitimacy. In pyramid schemes, however, the
victims themselves are induced to recruit further victims through the payment of
recruitment commissions.
More specifically, pyramid schemesalso referred to as franchise fraud or chain
referral schemesare marketing and investment frauds in which an individual is
offered a distributorship or franchise to market a particular product. The real profit is
earned, not by the sale of the product, but by the sale of new distributorships.
Emphasis on selling franchises rather than the product eventually leads to a point
where the supply of potential investors is exhausted and the pyramid collapses. At
the heart of each pyramid scheme is typically a representation that new participants
can recoup their original investments by inducing two or more prospects to make the
same investment. Promoters fail to tell prospective participants that this is
mathematically impossible for everyone to do, since some participants drop out, while
others recoup their original investments and then drop out.

57

What is a Pyramid Scheme?

Pyramid schemes are illegal scams in which large numbers of people at the bottom
of the pyramid pay money to a few people at the top. Each new participant pays for
the chance to advance to the top and profit from payments of others who might join
later. For example, to join, you might have to pay anywhere from a small investment
to thousands of dollars. In this example, $1,000 buys a position in one of the boxes
on the bottom level. $500 of your money goes to the person in the box directly above
you, and the other $500 goes to the person at the top of the pyramid, the promoter. If
all the boxes on the chart fill up with participants, the promoter will collect $16,000,
and you and the others on the bottom level will each be $1,000 poorer. When the
promoter has been paid off, his box is removed and the second level becomes the
top or payoff level. Only then do the two people on the second level begin to profit.
To pay off these two, 32 empty boxes are added at the bottom, and the search for
new participants continues.
Each time a level rises to the top, a new level must be added to the bottom, each one
twice as large as the one before. If enough new participants join, you and the other
15 players in your level may make it to the top. However, in order for you to collect
your payoffs, 512 people would have to be recruited, half of them losing $1,000 each.
Of course, the pyramid may collapse long before you reach the top. In order for
everyone in a pyramid scheme to profit, there would have to be a never-ending
supply of new participants.
In reality, however, the supply of participants is limited, and each new level of
participants has less chance of recruiting others and a greater chance of losing
money.

What You Should Know About Pyramid Schemes

Things you should know about pyramid schemes
1. They are losers. Pyramiding is based on simple mathematics: many losers pay a
few winners.
2. They are fraudulent. Participants in a pyramid scheme are, consciously or
unconsciously, deceiving those they recruit. Few would pay to join if the diminishing
odds were explained to them.
3. They are illegal. There is a real risk that a pyramid operation will be closed down
by the officials and the participants subject to fines and possible arrest.
Why would anyone pay to join a pyramid scheme?
Pyramid promoters are masters of group psychology. At recruiting meetings they
create a frenzied, enthusiastic atmosphere where group pressure and promises of
easy money play upon people's greed and fear of missing a good deal. Thoughtful
consideration and questioning are discouraged. It is difficult to resist this kind of
appeal unless you recognize that the scheme is rigged against you.

58

Disguised pyramid - wolf in sheep's clothing

Some pyramid promoters try to make their schemes look like multilevel marketing
methods. Multilevel marketing is a lawful and legitimate business method which uses
a network of independent distributors to sell consumer products.
To look like a multilevel marketing company, a pyramid scheme takes on a line of
products and claims to be in the business of selling them to consumers. However,
little or no effort is made to actually market the products. Instead, money is made in
typical pyramid fashion, from recruiting. New distributors are pushed to purchase
large and costly amounts of inventory when they sign up.
For example, you might have to purchase $1,000 of nearly worthless products in
order to become a "distributor." The person who recruited you receives $500 (a fifty
percent commission) and $500 goes to the top (the company, in this case). Notice
the similarity to the simple pyramid scheme described earlier.
Most disguised pyramids, however, are not this easy to unmask. Pyramid schemes
often choose products which are cheap to produce but which have no established
market value, such as new miracle products, exotic cures, etc. This makes it difficult
to tell whether there is a real consumer market for the products. The best way to
avoid a disguised pyramid fraud is to know what to look for in a legitimate income
opportunity.
How to Protect Yourself
1. Take your time. Don't let anyone rush you. A good opportunity to build a business
in a multilevel structure will not disappear overnight. People who say "get in on the
ground floor" are implying that people joining later will be left out in the cold.
BEWARE!
2. Ask questions

About the company and its officers.

About the products - their cost, fair market value, source of supply, and
potential market in your area.
About the startup fee (including required purchases).
About the company's guaranteed buy-back of required purchases.
About the average earnings of active distributors.

3. Get written copies of all available company literature.

4. Consult with others who have had experience with the company and its products.
Check to see if the products are actually being sold to consumers.
5. Investigate and verify all information. Do not assume that official looking
documents are either accurate or complete.

59

MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING OR ILLEGAL PYRAMID SCHEME?

What is the Difference?

"Multi-level" or "network" marketing is a form of business that uses independent

representatives to sell products or services to family, friends, and acquaintances. A
representative earns commissions from retail sales he or she makes, and also from
retail sales made by other people that he or she recruits. Examples of well-known multilevel marketing companies include Amway and Mary Kay Cosmetics.
Some companies call themselves multi-level marketing when they are really
operating pyramid schemes that violate Michigan's Pyramid Promotion Act. Even when
a multi-level plan does not violate Michigan's Pyramid Promotion Act, the marketing of
the plan may violate Michigan's Consumer Protection Act, if the acts, methods, or
practices are unfair, unconscionable, or deceptive.
It is understandable that consumers often have difficulty telling the difference between
an
illegal
pyramid
scheme
and
a
legitimate
multi-level
marketing
opportunity. Governmental regulators and the industry continue to debate where the
legal lines are drawn. Multi-level marketing is a lawful and legitimate business method
that uses a network of independent representatives to sell consumer
products. Commissions should only be paid on the sale of goods or services to nonparticipant end-user consumers.
Pyramid schemes claim to be in the business of selling products to consumers in order
to look like a multi-level marketing company. However, little or no effort is made to
actually market the product. Instead, money is made in typical pyramid fashion...from
recruiting other people to market the program. Sometimes, new "distributors" are
persuaded to purchase inventory or overpriced products/services when they sign up.
Pyramid companies make virtually all their profits from signing up new recruits and often
attempt to disguise entry fees as the price charged for mandatory purchases of training,
computer services, or product inventory. Pyramid schemes are not only illegal; they are
a waste of money and time. Because pyramid schemes rely on recruitment of new
members to bring money, the schemes often collapse when the pool of potential recruits
dries up (market saturation). When the plan collapses, most people, except the few at
the top of the pyramid, lose their money.
Market Saturation
Although pyramid promoters claim that the possibility to earn is endless, this possibility
cannot materialize due to market saturation. For example, if a program begins with one
person who recruits two people, each one of whom recruits two more people, and so
on, in only 28 levels practically the entire population of the United States - every man,
woman, and child - would be involved, as is illustrated below.

60

Level

Number of New
Participants

Total Number of
Participants

15

16

31

32

63

64

127

128

255

256

511

10

512

1,023

11

1,024

2,047

12

2,048

4,095

13

4,096

8,191

14

8,192

16,383

15

16,384

32,767

16

32,768

65,535

17

65,536

131,071

18

131,072

262,143

19

262,144

524,287

20

524,288

1,048,575

21

1,048,576

2,097,151

22

2,097,152

4,194,303

23

4,194,304

8,388,607

24

8,388,608

16,777,215

25

16,777,216

33,554,431

26

33,554,432

67,108,863

27

67,108,864

134,217,727

28

134,217,728

268,435,455

61

When investigating a multi-level marketing opportunity, you should ask about market
saturation and determine the saturation levels in your area of distribution. Legitimate
companies do not have too many distributors in one area.
Warning Signs
Pyramid promoters are masters of group psychology. Recruitment meetings create a
frenzied, enthusiastic atmosphere where group pressure and promises of a large
sum of money play upon people's greed and fear of missing a good deal. Promoters
also openly discourage thoughtful consideration and questioning of the
scheme. Victims often find themselves tricked into participating. At a recruitment
meeting, you might hear phrases like "this is a ground floor opportunity which will
change your life", "opportunities don't go away, they go to other people", and "if you
act now and work hard for three to five years, you can retire and live off of the
residual income." Another warning sign is a confusing compensation plan.
Claims by a company that their plan has been "approved" by the Michigan Attorney
General should be bright red flags and you should report such a claim immediately to
our office. A company that misrepresents one fact will likely misrepresent
others. While our office is able to tell you if we have taken any legal action, we will
not comment on any specific investigation of multi-level marketing
companies. Additionally, we do not provide any advance form of approval for any
company and if you want legal advice on whether a multi-level marketing opportunity
is actually an illegal pyramid, you need to seek private legal counsel.
Chain Letters
The simplest form of pyramid scheme is the chain letter that asks the recipient to pay
$1.00 or more to each of five names on a list, copy the letter, and then send it out to
new people with the recipient's name added to the list. Many chain letters claim to be
legitimate because they offer a product. Upon close examination, the product is just
a pretense. Often the newsletter simply describes additional "get rich quick"
schemes and may be the only item that new members "purchase." Alternatively, the
newsletter may be offered for "free" to every new paying member. In either case, the
scheme is just a pyramid if it pays distributors to recruit new members rather than sell
a real product to the wider public. In recent years, pyramid schemes have become
more sophisticated, and many have surfaced on the internet.
.
Use Common Sense and Consider These Tips
The pyramid scheme disguised as a multi-level marketing opportunity is not always
easy to spot, but is just as much of a scam as the chain letter. Here are some tips to
consider before participating in a multi-level marketing program:
Avoid any program that focuses more on recruitment of new people rather than the
sale of a product or service to an end-user consumer. If the opportunity for income is
primarily derived by recruiting more participants or salespersons rather than by
selling a product, the plan probably is illegal. Several courts interpret greater
pressure on members to sponsor new recruits than to market company merchandise
as evidence of an illegal pyramid.

62

Be skeptical of plans that claim you will make money through continued
growth of your "downline" -- the commissions on sales made by new
distributors you recruit -- rather than through your own sales of products.

Be cautious about specific income or earnings claims. Many programs boast

about the incredibly high earnings of a few top performers ("thousands per
week" or a "six figure income"). The reality is that most of the people recruited
into the organization are not making anywhere near those amounts and most
actually lose money.

Beware when presented with "testimonies" from other distributors. These

"success" stories rarely reflect reality.

Be cautious about participating in any program that asks distributors to

purchase expensive inventory. There are horror stories of people with a
basement or garage full of merchandise that no one will buy.

Make sure the product or service offered by the company is something you
would buy without the income opportunity and the product or service is
competitively priced. Illegal pyramid schemes often sell products at prices well
above retail or sell products that are difficult to value, such as health and
beauty aids, new inventions or "miracle" cures.

Never sign a contract or pay any money to participate in a multi-level

marketing program, or any business opportunity, without taking your time and
reading all of the paperwork. Talk the opportunity over with a spouse,
knowledgeable friend, accountant, or lawyer. If you feel that you are being
subjected to high-pressure sales tactics or are not being given enough time to
review the details, go elsewhere.

When questions are raised about pyramids, comparisons may be made to

corporations where there is one person at the top who makes the most
money. What they fail to state is that corporations do not seek to recruit an
unlimited number of employees or pay employees based on recruiting new
employees.

Beware when the products or services are simply vehicles for recruitment. The products
may be gimmicks and/or overpriced, but even high quality products may serve as a cover for
recruitment activities.

Your Responsibilities
If you decide to become a distributor, remember that you are legally responsible for
the claims you make about the company, its product, and the business opportunities
it offers. That applies even if you are simply repeating claims you read in a company
brochure or advertising flyer. If you decide to solicit new distributors, be aware that
you are responsible for any claims you make about a distributor's earnings
potential. Be sure to represent the opportunity honestly and avoid making unrealistic
promises. If those promises fall through, remember you could be held liable.

63

If you join a pyramid scheme disguised as a multi-level marketing program, your

decision will affect not only you, but also everyone you bring into the program. Many
people devote a substantial amount of time trying to market these worthless
ventures. Ultimately, if a multi-level marketing opportunity sounds too good to be true,
it probably is.

A sample list of large Pyramid Schemes:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_multi-level_marketing_companies
Lyoness, Herbalife, Amray, Forever Living Products, Monavie
Sources:
http://www.wfdsa.org/about_dir_sell/index.cfm?fa=schemes3
https://www.michigan.gov/ag/0,4534,7-164-17337_20942-208400--,00.html
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_Monavie_a_pyramid_scheme?#slide=1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyramid_scheme
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_multi-level_marketing_companies

***

64

Goldilocks and The Three Bears

A Parable about Modern Management

65

Once upon a time in a large city, close to a busy shopping mall, stood the impressive company
where the Teddy Incorporation family ruled and worked. They were not really normal CEOs,
for the great boss Mr. Teddy was very powerful. Mrs. Teddy his wife and partner was rather
quiet but rational, and the youngest partner, their son Mr. Teddy junior also known as a
womanizer, could be described as an ambitious but ruthless manager.
Each of them had a king-size office. Mr. Teddys of course was large, impressive and
frightening. Mrs. Teddys was what one would call a homely office decorated by her workers.
While their sons was modern and luxurious in size with hard-won sports trophies. All their
offices could be reached through one enormous, leather padded entrance on the 30th floor.
Beside the conference table, around which they all sat after a hard days work, stood a large
carved chair for Mr. Teddy as he was the head of the company, a delightful white leather
armchair for his wife, and an expensive antique hand carved mahogany chair for his
son. Neatly laid out on the conference table stood three important files. A large one for the
boss, a smaller one for Mrs. Teddy, and an even smaller one for the son. He didnt like too
much paperwork. He put everything into his smart organizer.
The employees were all very respectful to their boss and people bowed their heads when he
went past. Mainly because out of fear. The boss liked that and he always sternly replied to
their greetings with a nod. Mrs. Teddy on the other hand had lots of friends in the company.
She visited them in the afternoons to exchange good advice and ideas and also listened
patiently to their complaints. The ambitious son however, had hardly any friends. This was
partly because he was rather a bully and liked to win at sports and arguments. He was a pest
too and always got into trouble with the rest of his employees, especially the females.
Not far away, was the office of a fair-haired secretary called Miss Goldilocks, who had a
similar nature to the young Teddy, only she was more haughty and stuck-up than him.
Although the younger boss often asked her to come and visit him in his office, she always
said no. She enjoyed playing these games with him

66

One day, Mrs. Teddy made a new rule for the company. It was going to be a very special
program for all their workers. Her husband and son were curious and could not wait to hear
her great idea. When my plan is ready, she said to Mr. Teddy and her son, I will tell you,
but it needs an hour. In the meantime why don't we go and visit the Beaver Companys new
premises. Mr. Beaver will be most pleased to see us." Mr. Teddy and his son would much
rather have heard her news now than visit old and cranky Mr. Beaver. But they liked the
thought of checking out the new premises. Maybe, they can copy his ideas. He was after all
rather innovative and talked a lot about his great successes and secrets. Sometimes too much.
We must wear our best clothes, even for such a short visit. We never know who might see
us. Perhaps the press will also be there, said Teddy junior. But, said Mrs. Teddy,
Everyone at the Beaver Corporation will be very busy now, and we must not stay too long!"
And so they set off along the highway in their smart, new black shiny BMW towards the
Beaver Company. A short time later, the stuck-up little lady, Miss Goldilocks, passed by the
Teddy offices as she was gathering all the in-house post.
"Oh, what an ugly office floor the Teddy management has!" said Miss Goldilocks to herself
as she went down the hallway. Nevertheless, I'm going to peep inside! It wont harm anyone
if I just look. I'm dying to see where Mr. Teddy junior works. But I had better check first,
she whispered silently. Knock! Knock! She tapped on the door. Knock! Knock! Not a
sound... "Surely someone will hear me knocking," Miss Goldilocks said to herself,
impatiently. "Anyone here?" she called, peering round the door. Then she went into the empty
office and started to explore the filing cabinets and private drawers.
"The conference room caught her attention. She crept into the room and went over to the files
lying on the table. There must be some secrets here! she cried. Slowly opening the largest
file she paged her fingers through the interesting information. "Quite interesting!" she
murmured. In a twinkling, the papers lay scattered in a mess on the table. With a growing
curiosity, Miss Goldilocks went on exploring.
"Now then, this must be the bosses chair, this will be Mrs. Teddys, and this one must belong
to my irritating friend, Teddy junior. I'll just sit on it a while!" With these words, Miss
Goldilocks sat herself down onto the ornate chair which, quite unused to such a sudden
weight, promptly broke a leg. Miss Goldilocks crashed to the floor, but not in the least
dismayed by the damage she had done, she went upstairs to the private quarters of the Teddy
Management.
There
was
no
mistaking
which
was
Mr.
Teddy
Juniors
room.
"Mm! Quite comfy!" she said, sneaking through all his personal belongings. "Not as nice as
mine, but nearly! Then she yawned. I think I'll lie down, only for a minute just to try the
luxurious leather couch." And in next to no time, Miss Goldilocks lay fast asleep on the
couch. In the meantime, the Teddy family were on their way back to their offices.
"Wasn't the new Beaver premises a bit too small?" said Mr. Teddy junior to his mother. Our
premises were never so small when I first started, he boasted. "Not quite, but almost," came
the reply, with a fond caress from his mother. From a distance, Mr. Teddy noticed that their
office door was ajar. "Hurry!" he cried. "Someone is in our office . . ." Was Mr. Teddy
suspicious or did a thought strike him? Anyway, he dashed into his office.
"I knew it! Somebody has illegally been trespassing here and they even had the cheek to try
out my whisky cabinet!"

67

"Someone has been searching through our personal files!" complained Mrs. Teddy. "And
somebody's broken my favorite chair!" shouted Teddy junior. That chair cost me over
100 000 Dollars!
Where could the culprit be? They all ran upstairs and tiptoed in amazement over to Mr. Teddy
juniors coach. On it lay Miss Goldilocks, sound asleep. Teddy junior prodded her toe.
"Who's that? Where am I?" shrieked Miss Goldilocks, waking with a start. Taking fright at the
scowling faces bending over her, she clutched the stolen papers up to her chin. Then she
jumped from the couch and fled down the stairs with the papers trailing behind her.
"Get away! Away from that office!" she told herself as she ran, forgetful of all the trouble she
had so unkindly caused. But Mr. Teddy junior called from the door, waving his arms
frantically:
"Don't run away! Come back! I forgive you, come and we can talk about it in private! He
was obviously in love with her. After all she was a cute little thing. He could add her to his
long list of trophies, he thought with a sly grin on his face.
Are you an idiot! shouted Mr. Bear to his son. Awakening him from his fantasies. Have
you lost your mind? She should be fired for corporate espionage and illegal trespassing. Im
calling the security services!
Wait one moment, said his wife. I have an idea. Before this matter gets leaked to the rest
of our company and made public, let us keep her on as our private secretary. That way we
have her under our complete control and will benefit from 100% employee loyalty.
And this is how it all ended. From that day onwards, haughty rude and criminally-minded
Miss Goldilocks became a pleasant secretary. She made friends with Mr. Bear junior and
often went to his office. She did everything they wanted from her.
The moral of this story: Mrs. Teddys special program was all about the following:
-

Respect other peoples property and privacy

Look after your personal belongings always make sure you lock your doors when
you go out.
Dont be selfish, think about how your actions will affect others and the consequences
that they have for you at the end of the day, especially your career and reputation.
You dont wish to end up like Miss Goldilocks do you?

***

68

Its not my problem

Find the solution yourself!

How often do I hear managers telling their staff that they are not interested in their problems;
Just find a solution thats what you are paid for!
Im going to keep this article brief and not get into heavy details about the wrongs and rights.
There is enough been written about every kind of misdemeanour at the top. Its these kind of
managers whom I refer to as cowards that I indirectly or directly deal with on a regular basis.
No matter how many expensive workshops, coachings, therapy sessions or heaven knows
what they participate in, many still dont know how to manage their departments. Simple
behaviour like finding the time to sit down with their employees and listen to them on a
regular basis seems to be a heavy task. Respect and trust must be earned. I often get
continuous feedback from my clients, not always a comfortable feeling, but it helps both
parties to improve their relationships and performance. Some of them are unable to face
objective criticism about their overall management techniques. But then, they are the ones
who fail in the end. I always say that prevention is better than cure.
It is often that I sit on the receiving end and have to hear all about their problems with their
bosses, work councils, staff laziness, gossiping secretaries, human resources, grumpy wives,
many complexes and the best thing is; they have just recently completed a 3 day management
workshop and have now been promoted from manager to leader! That is when I drop off my
chair. Wow, congratulations. Now that you are a leader you can now sort out the problems
we spoke about with your department last week. How about, explaining to me your proposed
solutions. The answer: Thats not my job! (Easier to pass the buck onto the next person
instead of facing the consequences on ones own.)

69

Its not a matter about its not my responsibility to deal with others problems but it is a
question of good management to find a path of effective communication linking all parties
associated with the problem. We do have a thing called a think tank or a morning gettogether over a cup of coffee before work starts. One manager walks around his department
and greets his co-workers. Its all a matter of involvement. Simple, but effective. But, I dont
want to go into all that.
I am only speaking from my own experiences from single coachings to group trainings. I
carry around a little black book with me. And there I have listed the profiles of certain
managers whom I have studied over the years. They call this profiling in my business.
Many of them have changed companies and sometimes I get to meet them again in their role
as a manager, but for a different company. Same problems, same bad habits. One chap is an
absolute despot. I compare him to Stalin. He regularly insults his members of staff at
meetings. Nobody, is able to stand up against him, afraid that they will lose their job or get
demoted to a dusty office in the cellar. This type of character is machtgeil (power hungry)
as they say in German. The motto is; as long as these crazies are sitting on the throne been
supported by other like-minded individuals, the rest of the company will suffer. They plant
the seed of distrust leading to a high turnover of employees, demotivated individuals and
mobbing.
The fact is, no matter how many titles one has to his/her name that does not change who you
really are. Companies, especially here in Germany are full of hot-winded individuals hiding
behind their status symbols, titles and positions of authority. But really, a lot of them have sat
on my couch, helplessly insecure to cope with their daily responsibilities. These basic
weaknesses show themselves in their weak management behaviour. And this trickles from the
top, right down to the bottom of the hierarchy order. A classic example was the ladies toilet of
a large bank in Frankfurt am Main. A young trainee at a noble bank was told to clean the
toilets as part of his 3 year internship. He was the best informant about the banks ethics from
the Managing Director right down to customer service. The same young man is now working
for the competition running his own successful department.

70

Again, many of these characters I have mentioned above have either got their job through
their network of buddies or are great actors. Whatever way, no fancy training courses or fat
salary are going to change their management skills. I have recently experienced in my group
training that the boss also wanted to join his employees in the training experience. Of course,
I had to explain to him the rules of the game; He only kills the learning experience of his staff.
I gave him the choice: either him or me.
So, coming back to the question about its not my problem, find a solution. The answer is
rather obvious: The problems exist because of bad leadership! No amount of money can save
a dying patient.
Just off the records: One of the best tactics I use to judge the quality and success of a
companys management system is the toilet paper test. The better the quality of the toilet
paper, the more successful is the companys personnel relationships. This test was recently
performed by myself with all leading hotels in Germany. 3 failed the test.
Goes to prove that the small things in life that make the real difference, are always
overlooked.

***

71

Personal Training and Emotional

Health

The Health History Questionnaire

and
The Nondisclosure Obligation

As a personal trainer, you know the importance of the health history questionnaire. This
questionnaire, of course, helps the fitness trainer get better acquainted with the health of their
clients. But the problem is, not much is mentioned in this questionnaire about the emotional
or mental health of the client. It really is just as important as their physical history.

72

Suppose there was a section about mental or emotional health issues in a fitness health
questionnaire. What would a personal trainer do with that information? Would they try to help
them work through those issues? After all they are not skilled psychologists.
One of the main reasons why personal trainers dont ask about emotional or mental health
status on their health history questionnaires is that most people in the fitness industry are not
qualified to deal with the complex nature of mental or emotional health disorders. But this
does play a big part in the overall successful training program of the client. On the other hand,
people who have excessive mental or emotional problems do not have the energy or
motivation to go near a fitness club. So, its really those people seeking some kind of extra
guidance to get them back on track with their mental-body-spiritual balance.
However, there are those seeking a personal guru or a personal trainer that they can work
closely together at a higher level, and trust them with their lives so to speak. These people are
looking for a health-life balance and it the personal trainer who has to offer them this secret
door to opportunity. Successful clubs are not based on only top offers or fancy equipment,
but on what kind of personnel they have. It is clich to think that all people rush off to a club
because they have the best equipment or trendy courses. No, they rush off to the club that has
the best male or female trainer who makes them feel special the moment they put foot into
that club. These are the trainers who cater for the emotional and psychical needs of the club
members. It is not how much money you put into your club but how much you invest in your
personnel that makes your club a success.
What happens here with health questionnaires is that we are dealing with the physical aspects,
which hopefully most personal trainers are good at, but at the same time they become a
confidante for all emotional or mental problems that are plaguing a client. It is like the
hairdresser-client syndrome. Many people visit the same hairdresser over years (not because
he is fantastic) but because he is a good listener. Now, the same hairdresser wants to keep his
client happy because he pays well and therefore he uses a certain Code of Ethics. He does
not ask his client to sign a confidentiality agreement. That would look odd.
On the other hand a fitness club has a greater responsibility towards its members. They have
to maintain a good relationship with their client but also act as a buffer between them and
their problem zones whether it is physical, mental or spiritual. Most personal trainers are not
trained to keep this balance going after a long period of time. It is common knowledge that
many personal trainers come and go and dont often stay for longer periods at a particular
fitness studio. It is a fast growing industry as well as a fluctuation business.
However, it is false to think that mental health counseling has no place in a fitness club. An
interesting phenomenon taking place right now are the Vibrant Brain Gyms, created for the
Baby Boomers in mind. The brain gym can help keep minds sharpen and prevent the onset of
mental impairments in the future. Recommended is a brain workout 3 to 5 times a week for a
30 minute workout session. For those who prefer the circuit training style of workout, there's
the Neurobics Circuit which consists of 50 of Vibrant Brains top selection of stimulating
computer-based activities. Again, this is catching on in a lot of fitness studios across the
globe. This could compensate for the emotional and mental training aspect, but it does not
replace the personal trainers responsibilities to his client. He can monitor the members
progress and ensure a healthy balance between the mental and physical aspects, but
he is not there to play God or give him expert advice about his mental state of being.
What we seeing right now is not only the Wellness-Fitness-Body Building combination. It is
now popular to combine all 4 aspects Wellness-Fitness-Body Building Brain Gym into

73

attracting more membership to your club. Of course dont forget the nutritional supplements
and those high protein shakes!
A client has special needs and requirements why he or she visits a fitness club or hires a
personal trainer to come to him or her privately to train in their own four walls. They want to
get fit and they want to be treated like a special person. And the longer you work with them,
the deeper the trust (and possible potential problems). It is important not to abuse this close
relationship, but to make sure you maintain a healthy balance and give them all the
professional care and attention they need. But again, dont play God and dont let the client
get beyond this professional relationship. Emotional ties can be extremely difficult to break
once you have been working with a client over several months to years. Therefore,
maintaining confidentiality and signing an agreement between you and the client often avoids
misunderstanding and lawsuits at the end of the day. And most of all it makes you look
professional. The client will respect your integrity throughout your working relationship. But
this has to be done at the beginning of the training and not halfway or towards the end of it.
Maintaining Confidentiality
Clients share a tremendous amount of personal information with their trainers, making
confidentiality a huge issue. In addition to their medical history, clients talk to their trainers
about their goals, fears, stressors, family life, work, and a great deal of other personal issues.
This is an honour, but may also be a burden. It is your professional responsibility to keep the
information you are given between you and your client.
Sign an Agreement
Protecting your clients' privacy should be at the top of your list among safety and success.
Developing and implementing a confidentiality agreement for your clients will show that you
respect and honour their privacy. Putting it on paper reinforces the fact that you are a
professional who is worthy of their trust, and contributes to an open, honest relationship.
Your clients are sharing with you their medical history, their hopes, fears, successes, and
failures. For some, this will be easier than others. If you create a sense of comfort with your
clients, over time even the most hesitant will come to trust you. Having a signed, written
agreement can speed up this process by putting clients at ease. They will feel more
comfortable opening up and revealing private information if they are guaranteed it will stay
with you. Working to achieve their goals is difficult enough without having to worry about
what they should or should not discuss with you.
A confidentiality agreement (also called a nondisclosure agreement or NDA) is a legally
binding contract in which a person or business promises to treat specific information as a
trade secret and promises not to disclose the secret to others without proper authorization. An
example of a typical confidentiality agreement (NDA) is provided below.

74

Basic Nondisclosure Agreement

This Nondisclosure Agreement (the "Agreement") is entered into by and between
_______________ with its principal offices at _______________ ("Disclosing Party") and
_______________, located at _______________ ("Receiving Party") for the purpose of
preventing the unauthorized disclosure of Confidential Information as defined below. The
parties agree to enter into a confidential relationship with respect to the disclosure of certain
proprietary and confidential information ("Confidential Information").
1. Definition of Confidential Information. For purposes of this Agreement, "Confidential
Information" shall include all information or material that has or could have commercial value
or other utility in the business in which Disclosing Party is engaged. If Confidential
Information is in written form, the Disclosing Party shall label or stamp the materials with the
word "Confidential" or some similar warning. If Confidential Information is transmitted
orally, the Disclosing Party shall promptly provide a writing indicating that such oral
communication constituted Confidential Information.
2. Exclusions from Confidential Information. Receiving Party's obligations under this
Agreement do not extend to information that is: (a) publicly known at the time of disclosure
or subsequently becomes publicly known through no fault of the Receiving Party; (b)
discovered or created by the Receiving Party before disclosure by Disclosing Party; (c)
learned by the Receiving Party through legitimate means other than from the Disclosing Party
or Disclosing Party's representatives; or (d) is disclosed by Receiving Party with Disclosing
Party's prior written approval.
3. Obligations of Receiving Party. Receiving Party shall hold and maintain the Confidential
Information in strictest confidence for the sole and exclusive benefit of the Disclosing Party.
Receiving Party shall carefully restrict access to Confidential Information to employees,
contractors, and third parties as is reasonably required and shall require those persons to sign
nondisclosure restrictions at least as protective as those in this Agreement. Receiving Party
shall not, without prior written approval of Disclosing Party, use for Receiving Party's own
benefit, publish, copy, or otherwise disclose to others, or permit the use by others for their
benefit or to the detriment of Disclosing Party, any Confidential Information. Receiving Party
shall return to Disclosing Party any and all records, notes, and other written, printed, or
tangible materials in its possession pertaining to Confidential Information immediately if
Disclosing Party requests it in writing.
4. Time Periods. The nondisclosure provisions of this Agreement shall survive the
termination of this Agreement and Receiving Party's duty to hold Confidential Information in
confidence shall remain in effect until the Confidential Information no longer qualifies as a
trade secret or until Disclosing Party sends Receiving Party written notice releasing Receiving
Party from this Agreement, whichever occurs first.
5. Relationships. Nothing contained in this Agreement shall be deemed to constitute either
party a partner, joint venture or employee of the other party for any purpose.
6. Severability. If a court finds any provision of this Agreement invalid or unenforceable, the
remainder of this Agreement shall be interpreted so as best to effect the intent of the parties.

75

7. Integration. This Agreement expresses the complete understanding of the parties with
respect to the subject matter and supersedes all prior proposals, agreements, representations,
and understandings. This Agreement may not be amended except in a writing signed by both
parties.
8. Waiver. The failure to exercise any right provided in this Agreement shall not be a waiver
of prior or subsequent rights.
This Agreement and each party's obligations shall be binding on the representatives, assigns,
and successors of such party. Each party has signed this Agreement through its authorized
representative.

Disclosing Party

Receiving Party

By: ____________________

By: ___________________

Printed Name: ___________

Printed Name: __________

Title: __________________

Title: __________________

Dated: _________________

Dated: _________________

Completing the Confidentiality Agreement

In the sample agreement, the "Disclosing Party" is the person disclosing secrets, and the
"Receiving Party" is the person who receives the confidential information and is obligated to
keep it secret. The terms are capitalized to indicate that they should be interpreted as defined
within the agreement. The sample agreement is a "one-way" (or, in legalese, "unilateral")
agreement -- that is, only one party is disclosing secrets. If each side is disclosing secrets to
the other, you should modify the agreement to make it a mutual (or "bilateral") nondisclosure
agreement. To do that, substitute the following paragraph for the first paragraph in the
agreement.
This Nondisclosure agreement (the "Agreement") is entered into by and between ____ [insert
your name, business form, and address] and ____ [insert name, business form, and address of
other person or company with whom you are exchanging information] collectively referred to
as the "parties" for the purpose of preventing the unauthorized disclosure of Confidential
Information as defined below. The parties agree to enter into a confidential relationship with
respect to the disclosure by one or each (the "Disclosing Party") to the other (the "Receiving
Party") of certain proprietary and confidential information (the "Confidential Information").
http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/sample-confidentiality-agreement-nda-33343.html

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An example of a Client Health Questionnaire

CLIENT HEALTH QUESTIONNAIRE

Please complete and return to the "Fitness Club "at least 2 days prior to your scheduled
scheduled consultation.
All information received on this form will be treated as strictly confidential. Please fill out the
forms completely and accurately. This information is essential to helping us develop a
program that addresses your needs, goals and interests and is safe and effective.
Name: _____________________________ Date of Birth____/____/____ Age: ______
Address: ______________________________________________________________
Street City State Zip Code
Phone: __________________ (h) __________________ (o) _________________ (fax)
Email address: _________________________________________________________
Occupation: _____________________________________
Emergency Contact: _______________________ Relationship: __________________
Phone Number: ________________________
Physicians Name: _______________________ Physicians Phone: _______________
Physicians Address: ____________________________________________________
Street / City State / Zip Code: _____________________________________________
Please provide 24 hours notice if you need to cancel or reschedule your appointment.
1). Question

FORM -

Please mark YES or No to the following: YES/NO

Has your doctor ever said that you have a heart condition and recommended
only medically supervised physical activity? ____ ____
Do you frequently have pains in your chest when you perform physical activity? ____ ____
Have you had chest pain when you were not doing physical activity? ____ ____
Do you lose your balance due to dizziness or do you ever lose consciousness? ____ ____
Do you have a bone, joint or any other health problem that causes you pain or
limitations that must be addressed when developing an exercise program
(i.e. diabetes, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis,
anorexia, bulimia, anemia, epilepsy, respiratory ailments, back problems, etc.)? ____ ____
Are you pregnant now or have given birth within the last 6 months? ____ ____
Have you had a recent surgery? ____ ____
Do you take any medications, either prescription or non-prescription, on a regular basis?
Yes/No
Please check which of the following conditions you have had or now have and list any
medication you are currently taking for that condition. Also check medical conditions in your
family (father, mother, brother(s), or sister(s)). Check all that apply.

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Personal Family Medical Condition Medication

Coronary heart disease, heart attack
Angina
High blood pressure ___ mm Hg
High cholesterol ________ mg/dl
Peripheral vascular disease
Phlebitis or emboli
Epilepsy
Stroke
Emphysema
Pneumonia
Asthma
Bronchitis
Diabetes (specify type: _______)
Thyroid conditions
Osteoporosis
Arthritis
Anemia (low iron)
Bone fracture
Depression
High anxiety, phobias
Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia)
Sleeping problems
How does this medication affect your ability to exercise or achieve your fitness goals?
___________________________________________________________________________
If you have marked YES to any of the above, please elaborate below:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
2). Lifestyle Related Questions:
1) Do you smoke? YES/NO If yes, how many? __________
2) Do you drink alcohol? YES/NO If yes, how many glasses per week?___________
3) How many hours do you regularly sleep at night? ___________
4) Describe your job: Sedentary Active Physically Demanding
5) Does your job require travel? YES/NO
6) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your stress level (1=very low 10=very high)?
______
7) List your 3 biggest sources of stress:
a. _______________________ b. _______________________ c.______________________
8) Is anyone in your family overweight? Mother Father Sibling Grandparent
9) Were you overweight as a child? YES/NO If yes, at what age(s)?
_____________________
3). Fitness History:
1) When were you in the best shape of your life?
_____________________________________________
2) Have you been exercising consistently for the past 3 months? YES/NO
3) When did you first start thinking about getting in shape?
_____________________________________________

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4) What if anything stopped you in the past?

___________________________________________________________________________
5) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your present fitness level (1=Worst 10=Best)?
___________________________________________________________________________
4). Nutrition Related Questions
1) On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your Nutrition (1=very poor 10=excellent)?
_____________
2) How many times a day do you usually eat (including snacks)? _______________________
3) Do you skip meals? YES/NO 4) Do you eat breakfast? YES/NO
5) Do you eat late at night? Sometimes Often Never
6) What activities do you engage in while eating? TV, reading, etc.)
___________________________________________________________________________
7) How many glasses of water do you consume daily? _____________
8) Do you feel drops in your energy levels throughout the day? YES/NO If yes, when?
_____________________________
9) Do you know how many calories you eat per day? YES/NO If yes, how many?
___________
10) Are you currently or have you ever taken a multivitamin or any other food supplements?
YES/NO
If yes, please list the supplements:
___________________________________________________________________________
11) At work or school, do you usually: Eat out Bring food
12) How many times per week do you eat out? _____________
13) Do you do your own grocery shopping? YES/NO
14) Do you do your own cooking? YES/NO
15) Besides hunger, what other reason(s) do you eat?
Boredom Social Stressed Tired Depressed Happy Nervous
16) Do you eat past the point of fullness? Often Sometimes Never
17) Do you eat foods high in fat and sugar? Often Sometimes Never
18) List 3 areas of your Nutrition you would like to improve:
a._________________________
b._________________________
c._________________________
5).Exercise Related Questions: Skip to next section if you are presently inactive.
1) How often do you take part in physical exercise?
5-7x/week 3-4x/week 1-2x/week
2) If your participation is lower than you would like it to be, what are the reasons?
Lack of Interest Illness/Injury Lack of Time Other _________________________________
3) How long have you been consistently physically active for? _________________________
4) What activities are you presently involved in?
Cardio &/or Sports Frequency/Week Average Length Easy/Mod/Hard
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Strength Training Frequency/Week Average Length Easy/Mod/Hard
___________________________________________________________________________
List exercises:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Stretching Frequency/Week Average Length
___________________________________________________________________________
5) Please circle all the activities that interest you:

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Aerobic / Fitness / Classes / Indoor / Cycling / Snow-shoeing

Baseball / Kayaking / Soccer
Basketball / Partner Training / Swimming
Boxing / Pilates / Tennis
Cross Country / Skiing / Private Personal Training / Triathlon
Football / Racquetball / Volleyball
Golf / Rock-climbing / Walking
Group Personal Training / Body-Building / Running / Wallyball (similar to Volleyball)
Hiking / Skiing / White Water Rafting
Ice Skating / Snowboarding / Yoga / Other: ________________________________________
6). Developing your Fitness Program:
1. Please circle how you prefer to exercise:
a) INSIDE OUTSIDE COMBINATION
b) LARGE GROUPS SMALL GROUPS ALONE COMBINATION
c) MORNING AFTERNOON EVENING
2. Realistically, how often a week would you like to exercise? ________x/week
3. Realistically, how much time would you like to spend during each exercise session?
___________________________________________________________________________
4. What are the best days during the week for you to commit to your exercise program?
MTWTFSS
5. If you could design your own exercise program, what would an ideal training week look
like to you? Please be specific. List your favorite activities, rest days, time spent etc.
Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

7). Goal Setting:

How can we help you? Please check that which applies.
Lose Body Fat Develop Muscle Tone Rehabilitate an Injury Nutrition Education
Start an Exercise Program Design a more advanced program Safety
Sports Specific Training Increase Muscle Size Fun Motivation
Other______________________________
In order to increase your chances of being successful at achieving your goals, a certain
protocol should be followed. Please ensure all your goals are SMART.
S= Specific (Provide details, how long, how much etc.)
M= Measurable (How will you measure whether youve reached your goals)
A= Attainable (Be realistic, set smaller goals)
R = Rewards-Based (Attach a reward to each goal)
T = Time Frame (Set specific dates for goals)
1. Please list in order of priority, the fitness goals you would like to achieve in the next 3-12
months?
a)__________________________________________________________________________
b) _________________________________________________________________________
c)__________________________________________________________________________
2. Where do you rate health in your life? Low priority Medium Priority High priority

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3. How committed are you to achieving your fitness goals? Very Semi Not very
4. What do you think the most important thing we can do to help you achieve your fitness
goals?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
5. Outline what you feel are the obstacles or your potential actions, behaviors or activities that
could impede your progress towards accomplishing your goals (i.e. not training consistently,
upcoming vacation, busy season at work, not following the program, allowing other
responsibilities to become a priority over exercise etc.).
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

6. Outline 3 methods that you plan to use to overcome these obstacles:

a. _________________________ b. _________________________
c. _________________________

8).Miscellaneous Questions:
1. How did you hear about us? Please check that which applies.
Brochure Word of Mouth Flyer Newsletter Website
Health Professional (Doctor, Dietitian, Physical Therapist, etc) Meal Delivery Program
WRS
Other____________________________
2. If you were referred to us, who told you about our services?
___________________________________________________________________________
3. Why did you choose to work with "Fitness Club" instead of another organization?
Please check that which applies.
Location Personal Trainers Cost Customer Service Word of Mouth Programs
Other _____________________________
4. How far do you live from our facility? _______ miles/km
5. Which newspaper(s) magazines do you read?
___________________________________________________________________________

***

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Employees Wellness Program

How to set up a wellness program for your workers

Workplace wellness doesnt have to mean on-site gyms and in-house personal trainers. Small
companies may be able to encourage healthy living and offer compelling perks to employees
without spending a lot of money and time putting together a plan.
For a small company, the payoff can be big: Many employers report that healthier employees
show up to work more often, are more productive, and visit the doctor less frequently. The
payoff is also big for employees and that should be your focus when implementing your
program. The program is for them, not something youre doing to them to reduce your
insurance costs. Having the right attitude and getting everyone involved in a positive way is a
good first step.
Here are five tips for small companies that want to get started with wellness at work.
1. Clean out the vending machines. Strip out the cookies and candy bars, and replace them
with healthier snacks such as granola bars and reduced-fat or low-calorie treats.
2. Invest in pedometers. For just a few dollars each, you can buy pedometers for your
employees. Pass them out and encourage staffers to keep track of the number of daily steps,

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walking a few extra each day. You can even start a walking competition at work. Ask your
insurance provider. Some offer pedometers for free.
3. Give employees fast-food facts. Did you know that a Burger King Whopper with cheese
packs 770 calories and 48 grams of fat? Your employees might not know, either. Create a
pocket guide to help employees make informed decisions for themselves and their families
when they run through the drive-through window after work. You can aggregate information
available on most major fast-food chains Web sites. Or, check a Web site like
CalorieKing.com.
4. Offer health-risk assessments. Employees who complete assessments may find risk
factors and then be able to take steps to head off health threats. For $5 to $15 per employee,
your insurance company or a third-party vendor may be able to provide personal online
assessments usually 80 to 120 questions based on a users family health history, eating
habits and physical activity.
Be sure to make assessments voluntary and confidential, and assure employees that the results
wont be shared with anyone. Offer two free movie tickets or another token to entice
employees to complete the assessment.

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5. Review claims. When its time to renew your companys health insurance, look at your
claims data. If you know many employees have blood-pressure problems, considering
bringing in speakers to talk about managing it or screeners from a local hospital or clinic.
But you may not need to review claims data to spot opportunities for taking preventative
steps. If, for instance, a lot of employees are men in their 50s, you might want to consider
covering prostate screenings.
Companies that want to take a bigger step toward employee wellness may want to try an
employee contest or challenge, a friendly competition that may pit groups of employees
against one another. The format is a natural fit for small companies, where the camaraderie
can lend itself to teamwork and competitive spirit.
Developing such contests can be time-consuming and expensive. But they can pay off with
healthier employees and lower health-care costs. For example, at one small company,
employees team up and also individually earn $3 for every 1% of body weight they lose. At
the end of a quarter, each member of the winning team receives as much as $50 and secondplace-team members a little less.
Another company offers an optional wellness program in which employees participate in a
nine-month contest and earn points by completing health and fitness challenges. The grand
prize: $1,500 toward exercise equipment or a gym membership, in addition to a $1,500 spa
package and $500 cash.

***

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Leaders vs Managers
How often have I been confronted by potential managers or managers who think they are now
leaders because they have undergone expensive workshops, seminars, assessment tests or
have a fat IQ. Many have been told; You are now a leader! Wow. Congratulations I say.
However, managers are everywhere and leaders are a rare breed to be found. No workshop,
assessment test or even money can change this statistic. I have summarized the main points
about the true characteristics of managers vs leaders.

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***

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Conclusion

A business has to be involving, it has to be fun, and it has to exercise your creative
instincts. Richard Branson

In fact, without that slight touch of insanity it would be one dull world out there.
Nothing wrong with Aiming High so long as you can still see the earth below you.
This is the parody of the business world as it is.
Celeste Fabrie

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