TheCaseofthePrisonMonger

HamaTuma

GreatExpectationsmakefrustratedmen.Ourparents,beingrealists,teachusfromthe
outsetnottoyearnforbigthingswhenyoustretchuptoreachhigherthingsyoudrop
whatyouhadunderyourarms.Moralofthesaying?Holdontowhatyouhaveandbe
satisfied.Themoreyouwant,themorechanceyouwilllosewhatlittleyoualready
have.
Still,weproduceambitiousmen.Anomalies,actually;ahandfulamongmillions.
However,trytokeepwhatyouhaveisastandingorderforall.Withoutexception.This
iswhyanEthiopianissurprised,evenifopposed,attheextenttowhichtheStategoes
toprotectitself.Or,say,theGreatChairmanhimself.Hehasliquidatedmanyofhis
closefriends,hehasstruckallianceswhichchangeswiftly,hehasorderedTerrorand
Massacres(whatwecalltheTMdiet)againstthepeople,hehaspeddledthecountrys
sovereigntytothehighestbidder(inthiscasenoneotherthanRussiawhichcamebig
andfastwiththeitemtheChairmanneededmostatthetimearms).Fromarabid
antisocialisthehasmetamorphosedhimselfintothesymbolofsocialisminAfrica(even
ifmanysayitisplayacting).Allinordertokeepwhathehasabsolutepower.
Thewifewhoexpectsaffectionandnotloveliveshappilyeverafterwithherhusband
who,likeallhusbands,spreadshislovearound.Parentswhoexpectsomeconsideration
fromtheirchildrenandnomoreendupwithdisappointment.PraytoGodbutdont
expectmiracles.Watchyourhealth,butyoumaydiesoon.Thelessyouexpect,theless
yougetfrustrated,andthegreaterisyourhappinessifyougetmore.
Itisaphilosophyofpovertyandservility,youmaysay.Perhaps.Actually,itwas
expoundedinacoherentformforthefirsttimeintheeighteenthcenturymanuscriptby
StGebrethePoor.Themanuscript,whichreadlikeaHowtolivesatisfiedwithan
emptystomachmanual,couldhavesoldwellinthepresentweightanddietconscious
westernworld.Itdealtnotonlywiththefillingcapacitiesofaonefruitadaymealand
warnedhowonecangetfatandlazybynotexercisingthemind,butitalsoadvised
believersonhowtoletambitionsteaminitsownpotandhowtorealizehappiness
throughdeprivation.AChinesephilosophersaidtohaveplentyistobeconfused.St
Gebresaidtowantplentyismorethanbeingconfused,itistocourtfrustration,sinand
eternaldamnation.NexttoZarayacob,StGebreisouronlyphilosopherandin
themselvesthetwoarealsoanomaliesinthissocietyofourswhichlooksatmental
exercisewithextremecontempt.
Overtheyears,theartofwantinglittleorbeingsatisfiedwithwhatwehavehas
becomepartofourculture.Wedonoteventhinkaboutit,wejustactbyreflex.
Contradictionsandwarsarisewhenourrulerswantmore.Takethelateking.Heraised
thepriceoffoodandpetrol.Therewewere,enjoyingourstarvationandfamine,when
hepopsoutwithhispriceincreasemeasurestotakeeventhelittlewehadleft.Hewas
reachingformoremoney,werebelledandhelostwhathehad.Asimplifiedbutprecise
renditionoftherevolutionwehad.Taketheguerillasintheruralareas.Theyare
seekinghigherthingslikefreedom,equality,peaceanddemocracy.Theywantmore
thantheslaverytheyhave.Theresult?Theyleadahardlifeofwarandsuffering,facing

deathandtheTMdiet.StGebrewouldnthaveapprovedforsure.
Letitbesaid,however,thatnotallEthiopianssubscribetotheteachingsofStGebre.
Thisiswhywehaveupheavals,mutiny,unrest,warsanddestruction.Buttheadherents
ofreducedexpectationsarestillinthemillions.Itstheonlywaytosurvive.Whenyou
liveinthevalleyoftheshadowofdeathyoucherishlifeevenifitisamereexistence.
Thecaseoftheprisonmongerwasagoodexampleofthephilosophyofsatisfaction
withpoverty.Inmyopinion,themanshouldhavebeengivenamedal(ifnottheLenin
PrizeortheChairmansMedalofValor,atleasttheMedalofIngenuityinAccordance
withtheTeachingsofOurGreatChairman).Butletmenotrushyou
Lookattheaccused,saidtheprosecutorpointingatthemanintheCage.Hesyoung,I
believesomewhereinhisearlythirties.Heisrobust,heishealthy.Hecouldcontribute
tothebuildingoftheNewEthiopia.Butno!Forthelasttenyears,hehasbeen
continuouslyinandoutofjailsandprisons.Assoonasheservesonesentenceouthe
goestocommitanothercrimeandtocomebackagain.Andeachtimehedeliberately
makessurethatthecrimehecommitsdoesnotgethimthedeathsentence.Heisan
expertoftheArticlesofourPenalCode.Hereadilyadmitshiscrimeeverytimehegets,
orratherletshimselfbe,arrested.Hehasshowngreatinventivenessinmanagingtoget
himselfbehindbars.Heisaprisonaddict,arealprisonmonger.Whileinprisonhe
studiesviaacorrespondenceschoolandisnowinhisthirdyearoflaw.Canyou
imagine!?
Ourprisonsarecongested:wewanttoemptythem.Thisprisonmongermust,
however,bepunished.Uptonowhehasbeenarrestedsixtimes;ifhereachedthelegal
limitoftenthenhewouldautomaticallygetdeath,whateverthegravityofhiscrime.
Buthealsoknowsthis.Isuspecthehasplanstogouptotheninthwithhispettycrimes
andprisonsejours.Howdowepunishhim?Dowesendhimbacktoprison?Hewants
that.Tolabourcamps?Hewouldbepleased.Ithinkthebestpunishmentistosethim
free.Ifhegoestocommitanothercrime,heshouldbearrestedandsetfreeagaintillhe
reacheshistentharrest.Thenweshallexecutehim.Wewanttheprisonerfreed,
ComradeMajorJudge.
Objection,YourHonour!saidthedefencelawyer.Theaccusedadmitshisguilt.Hehas
confessedtohiscrimeandwantstopayforit.Hehastherighttobepunished.,hehas
thedutytoreceivepunishment.Thelawdemandsit.Wecantjustsethimfree.
Iagree,saidthejudge.Theprosecutormustrealizethatthisisanopencourtwithits
ownmessagetoourenemies.So,wemusthearwhattheaccusedhastosay,atleast.
Andthengivehimthenecessarypunishment.Proceed,headdedtothedefence
counsel.
Thankyou,YourHonour.Ishallcalltheaccusedtothewitnessstand.
Theaccusedwalkedbrisklytothewitnessstandahealthy,athleticfigureindeed.
YouareMatteosGudu?
Yes.Afirmvoice.
Isittrueyouhavebeeninjailsixtimes?
Verytrue.
Whathaveyoudonethistime?
Shoplifting.

Doyouadmitit?
Yes.
Areyouakleptomaniac?
No.ButIamaprisonomaniac.Iloveprison.
Why?
Iwasbornpoor.Ilivedwithmyfamilyalleightofusinonesingleroomwhichwas
sosmallthatmyfriendsusedtojokeaboutit,bysayingthateverytimeIturnedoverin
mysleepIlefttheroom.Asaresult,bigroomsandopenspacesuffocateme.Reverse
claustrophobiayoucancallit.Inprison,whereclosetoseventyofusarestackedina
roomfitfortwenty,Ifeelaliveandatpeace.
Comenow!Weknowthatevenifyoustayoutsideyoucaneasilygetasmallroomto
rent.Infact,thatistheonlythingyoucangetifyouarelucky.
Yes,Iknowthat.ItbringsustothesecondreasonwhyIloveprison.Money.
Money?
Yousee,aftermyfirststintinprison,Ilookeddesperatelyforwork.Icouldntgetany.I
hadlodgingproblemsaswell;youmustknowthatIhaventhadanylivingrelativesin
thiscityforadozenyearsorso.Broke,hungry,sleepingonthepavementIwas
destinedtobeaguttersnipe.Irefusedtosubmittothis.Istoleagainandgotbackto
prison.Thistimeforayear.Nolodgingproblem,foodwaslittlebutregularandevenifit
doesnotarrive,youcandonothingaboutitreally.Soyoudontworry.Inprison,you
couldsay,Ifoundhappinessandcalm.Whentheycametoreleaseme,Ibeggedthemto
letmestaybuttheyrefused.ButIwentoutandcamebackagain.
Prisonisapunishment.Howcouldyounotfeelthelackoffreedom?Beingcoopedupin
alittlehole?Beingunabletomovearoundasyoudesire?
Whatisfreedom,Iaskyou?'saidtheprisonmonger.Whoishewhocanroamfreelyin
ourcountrynowadays?Youneedpermission.Whenyouarehungry,worriedaboutit,
brokeandwithnoplacetosleep,freedomisanillusion.Yourachingstomachdoesnot
enableyoutosingwiththebirdsortoroamlikeawellfedibex.Yousufferandwrithe,
thatsallyouget.Butinprison,IfoundfreedomevenifIwashungry.Mymindwasat
rest.
Butyoustudied?
Thatsanotherthingwhichmadeprisonlovely.Inprison,Ifoundalotofintellectuals.
TheywerereadytohelpmecontinuethestudiedIhadinterruptedalongtimeago.I
threwmyselfintobooks,Ifinishedtheschoolleavingcertificateexamswithhonours
andqualifiedfortheuniversity.IchoselawsinceIaminterestedinthisfield.Iamnow
inmythirdyear.
Yourteachersareanarchist?
Theyarepoliticalprisoners.Wedontdiscusspolitics;Iamnotinterestedinit.Butthey
arecapableteachersandasyouknowthestudentswhogetthehighestgradesinthe
nationalexamsaretheonesinprison.
Theirsisawastedlife.Whydoyoufashionyoursaccordingly?
Theyareinprisonforwhattheybelievein.Thatstheirlife.Mine:itwouldhavebeen
wastedontheoutside.Canyouguaranteemework?DothatandIwillleaveprisonwith
joy.

Iamalawyer,notanemploymentagent.Maybewhenyoufinishyourstudies,Icould
see.Anyway,dontyoufeelashamedtobeaburdenontheState?
Iamnotaburdenonnobody.TheStatesendsmetoprisontopunishme.Ireceivethis
willingly.Onceinprison,Iwork,andIamnowoneofthebestcarpentersintheprison
workshop.
Youfoundnojobasacarpenteroutsideprison?
Areyoujoking?Therearehundredsofmoreablecarpenterswhoareunemployed.
Whataboutasadomesticservant?Ormaybeyouthinkthatsalowlyjob?
Nojobislowlyifyouneedit.Theservantfieldissaturated.Besides,notmanypeople
canaffordservantsthesedays.Othersthinkmaidsandservantsarebecomingspiesand
aretroublesome.So,nojob.
Doesntitbotheryoutospendtenyearsoftheprimeofyourlifebehindprisonwalls?
Itoldyouno.youareinprisonifyoubelieveittobeso.Yourhousecanbeyourprison.
Apalacecanbeagildedprisonforaking.Themonkwhoshutshimselfupintotal
isolationinacaveisnotinprison.Inprison,Imetverymanyreallyfreepeople.
Doyouexpectustobelievethis?
Ibelieveit.
Whatyouwantfromlifeseemstobeverylittle.
Iyearnnotforrichesorhighpositions.
Commendable,indeed.Butbybeinginprison,youtrytoescapetheanguishandpain
whichgiveslifeitssalt.
Lifehasitsmiserieswhereveryoumaybe.Kingorbeggar,freeoraslaveeachwillget
hisshare,thoughnotequally.
Intoeachlifesomerainmustfall
Itfloodsontothepoor.Theytrytodamitsomewhat.Myprisonissuchanattempt.
Whatsentencedoyounowexpectforyourcrime?
IshouldbesenttoprisonforfiveyearsasArticle689ofthePenalCodestates.
Whatifyouaresetfree?
Thatwillbeacrime!Theaccusedlookedreallyshocked.IhaveviolatedthelawandI
shouldbepunished.
Butifyouaresetfree,wouldyoucommitacrimeagain?
Icouldntavoidit.Forthepublicgoodandmine,Ibelonginprison.Tofinishmystudies
aswell.YouknowIcantgotocollegeontheoutsidewiththousandsofeligiblestudents
stillontheuniversitywaitinglist.
Ifyoucommitthreemorecrimes,youwillbekilled.
Thendeathwillbeareliefindeed.Notpunishmentbutrealsalvation.Theprosecutor
lookedpensive.
Youcancrossexaminehim,saidthelawyertotheprosecutor.
Ithinkyouareinsane!theprosecutorshotattheaccused.Theaccusedkeptquiet.
Ithinkyouareanogoodlazyperson,theprosecutoradded.Theaccusedremained
silent.
Ithinkyouareaparasitewholikesbeingone,statedtheprosecutor.Theaccusedsaid
nothing.
Ithinkyouareafellowtravelerofanarchistsandashameonyourcountry,saidthe

prosecutor.Theaccusedjustlookedbackathim.
Ithinkbeingsetfreewillfryyourtesticlestoashes,theprosecutoraddedinamatter
offactway.Theaccusedlookedstartledbutremainedsilent.
Ithink,YourHonour,Ihavenomorequestions,concludedtheprosecutor.
JudgeAytenfistuexhaledalotofairandclearedhisthroat.Theritualover,hespoke.
You,theaccused,youareanogood,fasttalking,lazy,strange,crazyperson.Asthe
prosecutorsaidyouareaparasite.Youarealsodangerous.Whoeverfindsjoyinprison,
whoeverfeelsfreeinourjailsgoesagainsttheorderofthings,goesagainstthe
expected.Acowcantgivebirthtoapuppy.Prisonispunishment,notasourceofcalm
andfreedom.Ifsuchfeelingsasyoursspread,oursocietywillbeinchaos.Iagreewith
theprosecutor,youareherebysentencedtoimmediatefreedom.
ButJudgetheaccusedbegantoprotest.
Nomore!Youarefreed!Casedismissed!
Youcantdothis!Youmustsendmebacktoprison!theaccusedscreamed.
Takehimaway!thejudgeorderedthepoliceman.
AsthepolicemansignaledtheaccusedtogetmovingbacktotheCage,thelatter
seemedtobestruckbyarevelation.Heturnedtothejudgeandwhatcameoutfromhis
throatparalysedthewholecourt.
Youcallyourselfajudge,youfatpig!Youareanignorantfool!Halfthetimeyousleep
onyourbench!Youronlyqualificationisyourstupidity.Ibetyouareanimpotentsissy.
You
SHUTUP!Thescreamcamefromthejudgeaswellasfromtheprosecutorandthe
defensecouncil.
Youmotherlesssquit!thejudgefumed.Iwillshowyouwhoisimpotent.Youcastrated
parasite!Youcantinsultajudgeandgetoffscotfree.Isentenceyouimmediatelyto
tenyearsofhardlabourintheRobiDesertstatefarm.Takethisdogawayatonce!the
judgewasbesidehimself.
YourHonour!Thatswhathewants!protestedtheprosecutor.
Thatswhatthisfoulmouthedsonofaslutisgoingtoget!Casedismissed.Courtrecess
fortenminutes!Thejudgegotupandwalkedoutofthecourtangrily.
Well,whatcanIsay?Theprosecutorgrowledattheaccused,thedefenselawyerdidthe
same,theaudiencejuststared.Thepolicemenmanhandledhim.Andtheaccused?IfI
eversawasmileofhappinessandsatisfaction,thereitwasonhisface.IwonderifSt
Gebrewouldhaveapprovedofsuchunorthodoxmethodstokeepwhatlittleonehas.
Theprisonmongerwentback,nottoprisonbuttoastatefarm,andnoonewhoknows
statefarmswillsaythattheyarenotworsethanprisons.Theaccusedwillevenget
anarchistteachersthere.Whatmorecouldheaskasmalloverfilledroomtosleepin,
apieceofbreadortwofortheday,backbreakingwork,possibilityofstudy,no
worrying,freedom.Hehaditmade,theluckyprisonmonger.Still,Iwouldnttrade
placeswithhim.Iwillclingtomyownlittleworld.Whoisfree;meortheprison
monger?AsStGebresaidcenturiesago,itsaworldofrelativefreedomandrelative
bondage.