You filled my Love Tank, Babe!

We reached our destination around 11 a.m. of that day of August 9, 2009. It was
the first of the 3-day family camp hosted by the Church of the Good Shepherd.
Pastor Darius met us at the parking area of Sandy Cove Ministries and helped us
unload some of the things and food we brought. At around 12 noon, more
brethrens were coming, bringing their share and instantly the dining table of the
hotel’s gazebo was brimming with familiar and not so familiar food. It was a great
lunch. Rain that morning seemed unstoppable but our Almighty God is so good
and He wanted us to enjoy the camp. He commanded the atmosphere to calm
down for the rest of the day and the days that followed. That evening after the 1 st-
day worship service, some of the brothers and sisters, myself included, had
water baptism officiated by Pastor D.

It was a sumptuous and enjoyable breakfast that had started the second day and
I was playfully thinking that maybe food is all there is why we came to that place.
Partly I was correct because we are gathered together as a Church to partake
the bread of life that came down from heaven. It is food indeed, food for the soul.
Aside from the spiritual nourishment we were enjoying through our pastor,
another bite from this bread from heaven was the seminar that we adults had that
morning with Pastor Capuli. Although it was designed for the couples, it is also
applicable for singles, families, ministers, counselors, military personnel, and
workplace. Pastor Capuli talked about the 5 Love Languages that one must be
aware of in order to have a successful relationship. It is actually the title of the
book written by Dr. Gary Chapman. In his book you’ll find that each of us has one
of these languages and knowing your spouse’s love language will allow you to be
attuned to his/her frequency, thus knowing him/her more personally.

Love tank, like an ordinary water tank, somehow measures whether or not love
language is practiced in a relationship. The author has developed questionnaires
that after answering them with all honesty would show if a relationship is
harmonious or not. Again, the 5 love languages play the key roles because in a
relationship communication verbally/non-verbally is vital. That night after my
baptism my wife has filled my love tank, but more on that later.

Chapman’s 5 emotional love languages are the following:

• Words of Affirmation: This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or
how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image
and confidence.
• Quality Time: Some spouses believe that being together, doing things
together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is
your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one
another some undivided attention.
• Gifts: It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be
expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday

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 or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving
will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
• Acts of Service: Discovering how you can best do something for your
spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming,
hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in
order to be perceived as a gift of love.
• Physical Touch: Sometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding
hands or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

Since you may be speaking what you need, you can discover your own love
language by asking yourself these questions: (i) How do I express love to others?
(ii) What do I complain about the most? (iii)What do I request most often? Using
a vernacular you are not familiar with would be a great discomfort and speaking
in your spouse's love language would probably be the same because it is not
natural for you. But Dr. Chapman says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking
love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one
another but they aren't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough."

After the first or second year of marriage, when the initial "tingle" is starting to
fade, many couples find that their "love tanks" are empty. They may have been
expressing love for their spouse, but in reality they may have been speaking a
different love language. The best way to fill your spouse's love tank is to express
love in their love language. Each of us has a primary love language. Usually,
couples don't have the same love language. Dr. Chapman recommends that you
have a "Tank Check" 3 nights a week for 3 weeks. Ask one another "How is your
love tank tonight?" If, on a scale from zero to ten, it is less than 10, then ask
"What can I do to help fill it?" Then do it to the best of your ability.

Right now my love tank is still filled and it has been full since that night of my
baptism. Yes, baptism has something to do with it because that night in our room
while I was changing into my dry clothes my wife told me of her desire to be
baptized too. I don’t know whether my wife had noticed it but I wasn’t able to
speak for some minutes. It’s more than a shock for me and at first I can’t believe
what I’ve just heard. I was so happy and no matter how I’ve tried to comprehend
it, I just can’t describe how pleased I was that moment. I’ve reacted that way
because I believed God has done miracle to my family.

At first I didn’t understand what love language my wife had used that instantly
filled up my love tank. Whatever it was it only shows that apart from those 5 love
languages there is another love language that could fill you up. That love
language has been written in the pages of the bible and it is the greatest of all the
languages. It is the language that one can use expressing his/her love to our
Creator - our God. Hence, I will say it again to my wife “You filled my love tank,
Babe”!