Make It Good, Make It Real

One day I received the following letter:

I consider myself a seeker of the truth, and I was wondering if you could
personally e-mail me. I would like you to explain why muslim (sic) is the only
way, or if it is ??? I want the truth. I don't want some broad response, I want a
type of personal explanation... Want (sic) drew you to what you believe, make it
good you are explaining your way of life... and remember make it good, convince
me you are real, like really real.
My Reply,
Okay, you asked for it.
I was not born into a Muslim family. I grew up in the United States and absorbed
most of the attitudes and culture of an average American male. "Baseball, hot-dogs,
apple pie and Chevrolet" (you may be too young to remember this slogan), every
other TV sitcom, cartoon, movie from Hollywood, Top 40, R&B, rock n' Roll, along
with jazz and classical music, all the holidays, heavily into football, baseball,
basketball, a family tradition of going to church...whatever popular or "normal" or
maybe "average" social attitude that characterizes America is exactly what I grew up
in and believed in, myths and all. I also grew up mostly respecting women on the one
hand, having had so many strong figures in my family, including my mother, while at
the same time viewing females as sex-objects like any red-blooded American male
should in a background of Playboy, sexy pop stars, Hollywood starlets and comic
book heroines who represented both the power of women and their "liberation" while
having figures and looks to satisfy adolescent male fantasies.
I introduce myself in this manner so that you do not misunderstand that I may neither
have any understanding or familiarity of what non-Muslim, western, Christian or nonreligious people feel like, think like, understand, or go through in their day to day
lives. I was right there along with them. Many people presume that we Muslims have
an automatic "bone to pick" with such people, or that we are "jealous" of development
in the "First World", or that we do not understand "freedoms" and the freewheeling,
open lifestyle and principles of democracy and so forth that Americans in particular
pride themselves on being able to enjoy and propagate, or the status that they enjoy as
a nation around the world. On the other side of the coin, I very well understand
prejudice, ignorance, serious social problems and spiritual vacuum, gross materialism
and "dog-eat-dog" attitude and insecurity that also characterizes life in the west that
many people like to overlook or "sweep under the rug".
Another brief personal point is I grew up with working middle-class parents and the
larger family was reasonably well-educated consisting of professionals, teachers,
entrepreneurs and skilled workers who rarely knew welfare or unemployment and
who instilled in their children the value of hard-work and academic achievement.
There have been high income professionals among them, and low wage earners, over
achievers and under achievers. My family, and by that I mean my extended family of
aunts uncles cousins etc. like so many others, has members who suffered from
alcoholism, drug abuse, dysfunctional family problems, run-ins with the law and the

like. In other words, they run the gamut of life experiences as do probably most
average Americans families. So if someone was to assume that my turning to Islam
was simply a form of rebellion or seeking a way out of poverty or an underprivileged
lifestyle or lack of education or religion, or due to psychological problems or seeking
protection in a hostile environment (i.e. the streets or prison), or wanting to marry a
Muslim woman, or not having a sense of self or pride in heritage or resentment of my
family and its values...they would be very wrong.
The choice of Islam for me and thousands (millions?) of others like me, was made
after a process of thought and seeking to understand and forge a relationship with God
Almighty as much as possible and wanting to make a serious commitment to a
religious philosophy and practical mode of living at the same time. I do not claim to
have known all the aspects of Islam at that time, but I certainly learned the
fundamental basics that convinced me that it indeed held what I wanted and needed
internally and thought I could deal with externally. I submit a top 10 list of reasons
and Islamic beliefs that convinced me of the truth and benefit of Islam. I do not intend
by them to insult or defame other belief systems and practices, but since you asked me
to be real and personal, I cant escape pointing out certain comparisons I made that
helped me to come to my conclusion.
1) Belief in a single Almighty and All-Wise Creator Who is Above and Independent
of His Creation, yet Who is not distant from them since He knows everything about
them and provides for them and controls everything. Even though things occur that
outwardly seem harsh, bad or disastrous, Muslims believe that ultimately there is
wisdom behind it all and the inherent wisdom and ultimate justice of that Creator
would recompense every person for whatever they suffer of loss or for whatever evil
or good they do. How can such obviously limited, fragile and dependant creatures as
human beings who are subject to everything from a little mosquito bite, the common
cold, a whole myriad list of physical, emotional and psychological ailments, and
despite having obvious great intelligence, be so arrogant as to think they can control
everything and are not in need of sustenance? We can at least acknowledge that WE
did not originate creation. I could never swallow the "superior alien" theory despite
having been a deep science fiction fan. My God, we came from sperm man! Do you
know how many billions of those 'little buggers' our father's produced yet out of all of
them, only ONE made it and it turned out to be you and me?!
2) If one does believe in such a Creator or God then it only stands to reason that one
should recognize, respect and honor that God. Also it stands to reason that such a God
will not leave human beings to flail around without guidance. Guidance is clearly
necessary since it is painfully obvious that even the most intelligent and powerful
people nevertheless screw up BIG time in so many ways. The most powerful man can
stub his toe and be reduced to tears, the most beautiful woman can get a stroke or
suffer some accident or disease and lose her looks (not mention by simply aging). The
richest and most respected person may still commit cold-blooded murder, take their
own life, ruin the lives of others, and even the powerful need others to do their dirty
work. People come up with the most hair-brained schemes, go insane, and can't even
produce a single child much less raise one well. I could go on and on with a list of
human failings the point being that it is clear that no human being, no matter how
great, deserves to be worshipped and idolized. Islam provides a clear understanding
that God Alone deserves to be worshipped and depended upon and that if anyone has

a right to be bowed down to and obeyed it is God and this frees a man from being a
slave to anything or anyone else.
Although I loved Jesus (peace and blessings be upon him), I could not deep down
fully reconcile how he could be God and yet be born from a woman, need food, drink,
clothing, shelter, could be killed, or could ask "Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?"
and other matters that made it extremely obvious to me that he was a man and not
God in the flesh.
3) We all have to die so where do we go and what will happen? Couldn't the One who
brought us in this world due to nothing we did, and Who caused us to be born in a
certain place at a certain time in a certain family, and Who gave us certain
characteristics, have something in store for us after all this that we probably need to
be prepared for? We definitely can't know what it will be on our own since NOBODY
has ever come back from the great beyond after having been dead to lay it out for us
(assuming you don't believe in ghosts)! Islam answers these issues very clearly and
satisfactorily as well through its explanation of belief in prophets and messengers and
divine revelation.
4) There is no doubt that life is short and certainly shorter than whatever comes
afterwards. Considering that and the fact that people seem to get away with so much
wrong and evil in this life, it just doesn't seem fair that the evil ones not get theirs and
the righteous ones go unrewarded. The Islamic concept of reward and punishment and
accountability answered this clearly for me too. When God gives the order to "roll the
video tape" we will all wish there was an erase button or that something will save our
behinds. So the concept of rewards for good deeds, Ultimate Justice, forgiveness, and
repentance in Islam did that for me too.
5) I accepted the concept of revelation and scriptures but the BIG question was how to
know which one of the several purported scriptures is true and correct? Every religion
claims to be on the right path and have the true Word of God! Well Islam answered
that for me by at least showing respect to scriptures previous to the Qur'aan with the
caveat that it is the final criterion. I was impressed by the tone and depth of the
Qur'aan although I admit it wasn't an easy read and needed a lot of commentary
especially since it is not originally in English. However, it was clear that the stand
Islam takes towards other religions and scriptures is balanced and fair by not totally
denying any truth or benefit in them while at the same time not swallowing them
whole. I believe this to be in contrast to Judaism or to Christianity and others that
gave Islam NO respect nor recognition to its prophet Muhammad while it is clear to
the objective observer that what Muhammad said and did was at least not so different
or strange compared to other prophets I was taught to believe in. In fact, there were
things I learned in the Bible about prophets that anyone would be ashamed to in any
way be associated with! Also I could appreciate a religion that stood its ground and
did not claim to try to please everyone - which seemed so wimpy and "mealy
mouthed" and insincere - and you can take it or leave it.
6) I saw a level of commitment in Muslims that more coincided with what they
claimed to believe although they are neither perfect, nor angels. In fact, I liked the fact
that the Muslims I met were down to earth and did not claim to all be "saved" in
general by virtue of being Muslim and that Islam demanded action and not just lip

service. This was refreshing in comparison to the type of attitudes I grew up around
regarding religion and daily life. It did not make sense to me that someone could
claim to believe in God and 'turning the other cheek' or other famous claims yet party
like an animal on the weekend, womanize, get in fights, maybe even kill someone,
abuse themselves or others etc. and then MAYBE sober up for Sunday services. How
could you just hang around or allow others do just do anything they please and think it
all would be okay by just making a claim of belief?
7) I found a real sense of community, brotherhood and belonging and not so much
racial or status consciousness among Muslims. My wife, who also accepted Islam,
found the same among the women. This is not withstanding the fact again that
Muslims are human beings and have the same character faults, shortcomings and
prejudices as others but there is a clear line and distinction that one can see in Islam
between what the religion itself advocates and provides of real and practical means of
putting it into practice as opposed to what some Muslims may do. I did not and have
not found that to be the case in other religions that generally compartmentalize
religion. By that I mean they relegate its sphere to how one prays and what God one
believes in while offering no clear structure as to how to practically conduct one's life
according to their religious principles.
As a Christian, this type of life-code definitely did not exist. Even though there were
indeed many good principles, it was very short on specifics. Direction varied from
preacher to preacher, minister to minister and church to church. Maybe Catholicism
offered somewhat more of a structure more than other branches of Christianity, yet
there were too many rules that seemed impractical and contradictory. For one,
celibacy for the nuns and clergy, and for two the concept of infallibility for a Pope (a
man) who has to go to the bathroom and put his pants on (well robes) just like
anybody else that I could never fully embrace. The kind of duplicity and
contradictions I found in other religions was totally absent in Islam fundamentally
although I later learned there are similarities in certain sectarian ideologies among
Muslims. The solution to this for me is that Islam emphasizes knowledge and not
blind following of any imam or shaikh or "clergy" or ruler as the basis of religious
practice and this has helped to clear up confusion when I find certain differences
among Muslim groups.
8) I appreciated Islam's emphasis on good morals where it is not out of style or odd to
refrain from sex before marriage, not womanize, not drink, not do drugs, not lie, not
cheat, not steal or try to be what you are not or to raise a family. You didn't have to be
a 'conformist nerd' who never questions the powers that be at the same time. I can't
tell you how much the opposite all of the above was the normal life among almost
everyone I ever met or knew growing up while deep inside I felt it was all wrong. I
KNEW that for the minister to talk about purity and giving while having the biggest
and latest model car or a daughter who had every boy drooling after her in her micromini dresses in Sunday School (and she eventually ended up pregnant out of wedlock
- well duuh, surprise) could not have been in the spirit of Jesus!
I found the same behavior in other denominations of Christianity, although to be fair,
it is not to say that many Christians don't also recognize the same sort of hypocrisy
and deplore it and try to live moral lifestyles. In fact I have to say I owe a lot to some
Christians, but the fact is also that MOST of them live contradictory lifestyles or

separated their religious beliefs from their "worldy life" and even try to religiously
justify certain unethical actions (i.e. give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what
is God's!). Whereas Islam says all spheres of life belong to God and makes no bones
about the fact that such a separation cannot occur and there is no such thing as a "nonpracticing Muslim" since it is a contradiction in terms and an oxymoron. The
definition of the word Muslim is one who consciously and freely submits to the Will
of the Creator.
This understanding is what makes it so insulting, infuriating and frustrating to see
Muslims cast in the reactionary press and popular culture as immoral killers against
humanity and so forth. I am absolutely convinced that people who do that, no matter
what their education or title, are either immoral themselves, liars, bigots or ignorant
with practically nothing in between. I mean, you may vehemently disagree with my
beliefs, but don't LIE on me! There is a difference between the acts of Muslims and
Islam itself and it is illogical and unfair to impute inhumanity, criminality or
immorality and barbarianism to an entire faith because of the acts or beliefs of its
claimants. If we were to do that 'across the board' of humanity then definitely other
religions and philosophies of the world would have to be convicted first!
9) I mentioned in the beginning that I had both disrespect and respect for women. On
the one hand I knew many strong intelligent women and enough abusive, stupid, lazy
good-for-nothing, two-timing men enough not to swallow that all men are superior to
women and perhaps even developed a little "feminist" streak. I mean I grew up in the
sixties and seventies where a lot of change occurred in America that made my
generation think a lot differently than my father's generation. On the other hand,
promiscuity and sexuality was and is promoted like crazy and mainly women are
obviously used and exploited (multi-billion dollar porn industry) despite all the
supposed gains of the feminist movement - which I consider practically morally
bankrupt. Women are STILL mostly valued based on their looks (look at the
makeover explosion, breast implants, Botox parties etc.). More now cash in on the
exploitation in the name of freedom and "empowerment". Give me a break!
They charge Islam does not treat women well!? Islam makes it very clear that women
are to be respected and they are equal in the sight of God but have a different but
crucial role to play than men. They are equal but not the same. Motherhood is not
devalued, a woman can have her own identity, property, and a whole list of rights that
feminism was supposed to be working for and the superficial aspects of "women's
rights" in the western concept just seems to in reality feed further exploitation and
devaluation of women. Oh yes I thought of this before becoming Muslim and
although I did not fully appreciate all the aspects of Islam and the way Muslim
women dressed or were to behave, I could definitely see the advantages and
appreciated Islam's straightforward stand and lack of mealy-mouthed insincerity,
wishy washiness or waffling about women, i.e. take it or leave it. I knew darned well I
wouldn't want women in my family looked at and treated the way most of my
buddies, and even I (and most men) looked at most women and treated their
girlfriends or wives! At the same time I probably wouldn't turn an attractive female
down on general principle! A life of contradiction and confusion! Sort of like Marvin
Gaye's dad preaching the Good Book and that old time religion while Marvin was
singing "Let's Get It On". His dad shot him.

Islam lays it to you straight. If you want to enjoy women, take responsibility and
commit to them and be a man and stand up and provide, lead and protect. Don't let
everybody enjoy your wife as much as you do! Don't allow your womenfolk to be
objectified so they cover themselves in obedience to God in a dignified fashion so
they are known as believing women who prefer to be valued for their minds and
spirits and abilities more than their beauty. My wife decided on her own to cover
herself and even her face fully without me ordering or forcing her to do so at all, as
opposed to the assumption that I 'the oppressive domineering Muslim fanatic' made
his 'poor little defenseless, low self-esteemed, undereducated little woman' repress her
sexuality and personality! Hogwash! And I mean HOG wash! My wife has a Master's
degree by the way.
10) Islam offered a practical way of life and means of self development, spiritually
and otherwise. It has helped me to be a better person that I think I would have been
otherwise and humble enough to know I am far from ideal. Everything is mentioned
in Islam from how to use the toilet, to how and what to eat and how to dress, to sexual
practices to how to pray to business and war! This took some getting used to, having
been raised in a society where individuality and freedom of expression was
everything. However, when I examine it, in a way it is more constriction than true
freedom! I mean you always have to make a statement or pretend to be something to
please someone or impress them. Even having your own style means pressure. It is
even worse for females.
In Islam, the criterion of superiority has nothing at all to do with how one looks or
wealth or status in life but on who is most righteous and conscious of their duties
towards Allah. Everybody is equal and this is exemplified in the way Muslims pray
together, fast together, give charity and do pilgrimage. I have never seen or heard of
any way of life or religious belief or practice that brings so many elements together. I
literally pray with hundreds of people daily like millions of other Muslims. I have
prayed in crowds on Hajj of millions and on a weekly basis on Friday with thousands!
There IS NOTHING like it and I cannot adequately describe what it all means to me
and other committed Muslims in this already long message.
I have tried to keep it real as you asked. I believe I speak for others as well and I hope
you can somewhat understand our feelings as Muslims if you did not before and I
tried not to just spout what you might view as propaganda. The response is heartfelt
and not mechanical and I only pray that God (Allah) makes me sincere and guides me
and makes my feet firm upon the correct path and forgives me for my many sins,
amen. I also pray this helps you to come closer to the truth at least, if not embrace it
altogether and it is only God (Allah) Who guides whom He wills.
Abdul-Qaadir Abdul-Khaaliq