SEA DRACULA

Animal City is a magical town full of hardworking talking animals with crazy names and silly
opinions. The city is famous for its nonsensical legal system, where the lawyers are responsible not
just for prosecuting cases but also for fighting monsters and throwing parties. This was the
legendary legal system pioneered by that great giraffe lawyer, Sea Dracula. The proud traditions of
the Animal City legal system have been handed down from generation to generation, slowly losing
their meaning and becoming strange and obscure.
Dont mistake the ways of this legal system for those of your own! The lawyers of Animal City
strive only to win! All other considerations, even the welfare of their clients and the sanctity of the
law, are secondary. They dance the dance of theanimal lawyers, and mere mortals such as us can
only stand back and watch in awe and terror!
What kind of game is this?
Sea Dracula is kind of a role-playing game. Were going to pretend to be crazy animal lawyers who
are prosecuting an important case in Animal Citys highest court. Were going to act out the 4
steps listed below as if we were actors in some crazy, stupid cartoon. You can use a funny voice if
you want. As long as we follow the rules, we can do whatever we want. Remember that! Making up
crazy stuff is part of the game!
What do I need to play this game?
Youll need 3-6 players, paper and a pencil to keep track of Lawyer Points, Witnesses and Evidence
and a space large enough for dancing.
How the hell do I play this game?
Its stupidly easy! The game happens in four steps:
Step 1: Crime Scene
Step 2: Opening Statements
Step 3: Courtroom Scene
Step 4: The Jury
Important! Make sure you read all therules before you play!
STEP 1: CRIME SCENE
A crime has been committed, and its up to the brave lawyers of Animal City to investigate the
crime scene! The player who owns this game gets to set the scene, describing the location of the
crime scene and the nature of the crime itself. Murder, treason and robberies are good crimes to
describe. Parking violations suck. Dont waste your time with that. That would be stupid.
Once the scene is set the cops arrive and begin their investigation. We need to know what the
cops find! Each player is going to take a turn describing 3 pieces of Evidence and 3 Witnesses.
Write these down! Make sure to tell everyone who your Witnesses are and what your Evidence is.
Remember, in Animal City everything is crazy and strange. Dont waste time with normal evidence
and witnesses. The stranger your evidence and crazier your witnesses, the better! Here are some
examples:
Describing a Witness: The cops enter the crime scene with pistols drawn. They hear a sound
from the bathroom, and rush to do some investigating! Tearing open the shower curtain, they find
Abacus Rex whimpering and trying to cover his tender bits. Abacus Rex is my witness!
Describing Evidence: While searching the kitchen the cops spot a half eaten order of egg
fooyung from the Chinese place on 5th Street. The victim hated Chinese food, so it must belong to
the perp! The Chinese Food is my Evidence!
Make sure to put some spice into your descriptions! Try to role-play a bit, for gods sake! Once

each player has had a chance to introduce all his Evidence and Witnesses, move on to the next
step.
STEP 2: OPENING STATEMENTS
Now its time to start the trial! The players take turns giving their opening statements, stating who
they are and whom they represent. This is when you tell us the name of the animal lawyer you are
playing! Dont choose a normal name! This is important! Choose a CRAZY NAME! Also, if your
animal is a horse or a beaver or whatever, dont call it somethinghorse or something beaver.
Thats just stupid. Here are some examples of awesome names: Sea Dracula, Zebra Tiger, Rocket
Walrus, Jason Morningstar, Wheat Beaver, Abacus Rex, Impressive Snake, Weird Beard, Yard Ass,
Bat Sandler, Mystery G.
The player who owns this game goes first. Players can represent the city, the defendant, or
anything else they want. Its not uncommon for animal lawyers to represent other countries,
abstract concepts, religions or shapes and colors. It doesnt matter who or what your animal
lawyer represents; all that matters is that they have a theory about the crime that they wish to
prove in court. Or just a theory in general! Its not uncommon for a murder investigation in Animal
City to be derailed by a lawyer that wants to prove that ham is delicious!
Important things to say during the Opening Statements:
Tell the court who you are!
Tell the court who (or what) you represent!
Tell the court about the theory you wish to prove (does not have to actually be related to
the crime)
Multiple animal lawyers can represent the same party. These lawyers dont work together. Instead,
they argue different theories of the crime. In Animal City its not uncommon for 5 lawyers to
represent the defendant with no one representing thecity! Guilt and innocence are relative. All that
matters is which lawyer wins! Go ahead and move on to the next step after everyone gives his
opening statement.
STEP 3: COURTROOM SCENE
This is where the good stuff happens! Each player is going to take turns doing stuff, starting with
the player that owns this game. You can use your turn to do one of 4 different things: Introduce
Evidence, Call a Witness, Request a Recess or Rest Your Case. Keep taking turns until the
Court Scene ends!
Introduce Evidence: Choose one of the 3 pieces of Evidence that you made up in the Crime
Scene step of the game. Stand up in front of everyone and tell them how this Evidence helps prove
your theory of the crime. If no one objects, youll get a Lawyer Point! If one of the other players
Objects, youll have to dance! The objecting player chooses the dance! If you cant do it (or dont
want to), you dont get the Lawyer Point!
Call a Witness: Remember those Witnesses you made up in the Crime Scene step? Point to
another player (it doesnt matter who) and say I call you (insert name of Witness here)! The
player you point to will play the part of the Witness and read the Sea Dracula Oath! Ask the
Witness whatever questions you want. The Witness can make up whatever answer they want, but
they must answer the question. Continue until you feel you have proven your point, and then say,
I have proven my point and have no further questions!
Another player can choose to cross-examine your Witness. This means that you both have to
dance a dance chosen by a third player! The third player chooses the winner, who gets a Lawyer
Point. If no other player chooses to cross-examine your Witness, you get a Lawyer Point!
Request a Recess: A player can request a recess for three reasons; to have a Party, a Boss Fight
or a Break. If no one objects then you get to take a recess. If someone does object, then youll
have to dance! The player who objects chooses the dance, and if you cant hack it, you dont get
your recess!

Party: Animal lawyers throw lavish parties that everyone enjoys! The player who requested
the Party gets to choose a dance, and everyone who dances (including that player) gets a
Lawyer Point! If the player that requested the party buys everyone a drink, he doubles his
total Lawyer Points!
Boss Fight: A Boss Monster attacks! Theplayer who requested the Boss Fight must defend
Animal City! Each player names a dance, and you have to do them all to win the Boss Fight!
If you can pull this off, every other player will lose a Lawyer Point!
Break: Sometimes youll need to take a break during the game. You may want to use the
toilet, get a snack, make a phone call or rush a friend to the hospital. The Court Scene
cannot stop unless a player successfully requests a Break. The break lasts until all players
are ready to resume play.
Rest Your Case: On your turn you can say I rest my case. Your turn ends, and each other player
gets to take their last turn! After that the Trial is over! Lets see who won!

STEP 4: THE JURY

This is where you find out if you won the game! Add up all your Lawyer Points. The player with the
most points wins. If theres a tie, youll have to do a dance-off, with a third player acting as judge!
If you want, you can play Sea Dracula with a Jury. The Jury consists of anyone who wants to watch,
but is too chicken to play. At the end of the game the Jury will vote on the winner.
If the jury votes unanimously for one player, that player wins! Other wise each Jury vote for a
player counts as a Lawyer Point. Whoever has the most Lawyer Points wins!
THE SEA DRACULA OATH
Each Witness must recite the Sea Dracula Oath before they can testify. The Oath must be recited
solemnly and in a loud voice, exactly as written here:
I, (your name here), solemnly swear to stop collaborate and listen.
Ice is back with my brand new invention.
Something grabs a hold of me tightly;
flow like a harpoon daily and nightly.
Will it ever stop? Yo, I dont know.
Turn off the lights and Ill glow.
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal;
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Amen.