BAHAY-BAHAYAN*

Rafael E. Lopez
I had a blissful childhood. Save for that trumpo, I learned almost every game and
did almost everything a free spirit could do. With my siblings, cousins, and friends, I played
taguan, patintero, bahay-bahayan. We climbed every mango, kaimito, santol, guave and
mabolo tree in our compound. And after siesta we spent the rest of the afternoon at the
bukid near our place catching dragonflies, butterflies, spiders and frogs and raced back
home by six oclock to join our lolas for the Angelus.
Bahay-bahayan wasnt exactly my ideal game. I considered it boring and a big
waste of precious playtime. I remember resisting every time someone suggested playing
the game. I hate it especially because I often had to play the father when all I really wanted
was to play bunso. I would have been to do anything while my playmates cracked their
heads mimicking the grown-ups in the family. But I didnt get this choice part more often
than not.
Memories of Bahay-bahayan are back in my mind these days and in living color
yet regardless of what I am doing. Sometimes they come in bits, sometimes in whole
episodes consuming my working time, and they come as often as the ads in TV programs
featuring Tysons fights. It took me sometime to figure out why (hey, Im no Fox Mulder), but
I still figured it out.
The first reason is that now three of my friends are walking on the path of
fatherhood. Not too long ago, my buddy and semi-brother announced to our barkada of ten
bulls that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. Three months later, the youngest in our
barkada had the same tale to tell. And then a few weeks back, my fellow Gemini and closest
barkada announced that he had gotten his babes (thats how he calls his girlfriend)
preggy as well.
These announcements took me by surprise, but they were not actually a shock to
me. I had several hatch mates in high school who fell into that same hole much earlier.
What I couldnt understand was how gangmates let it happen when we had discussed the
perils of premarital sex, unwanted pregnancy and young marriage very often and very
thoroughly during our Friday night gatherings. Then we unanimously agreed that those
roads were too dangerous to tread.
I dont think my friend really forgotten all our discussions and what they said then. I
believe they just could not resist the temptation and just plunged into the problem. Did they
take the game of bahay-bahayan too far? That seems obvious but I suppose they will not
come forward to admit his. They do confess that what they did was crazy, but swear they
are willing to marry their girlfriends and raise their children, no matter what.
The other reason why memories of bahay-bahayan came crashing back is that I am
enjoying and still want to remain single. Marriage may have become some kind of trend in
our barkada, but I am not about to jump into the bandwagon. Its not that I doubt my
capability to perform the obligations of fatherhood; its just that I dont want to experience
what my friends are going through now. You see, they look theyve been caught in a storm
these days. And fatherhood just doesnt appeal to me right now. Not while Im still pushing
pencil and fond of collecting earsplitting (according to my father) CDs and tapes and
dependent on my parents for my own survival. I still have my youth to enjoy and myself to
please and I cant see how I can manage with this baby and young wife to support. Hay, I
cant be forever young, so might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
I have played father so many times in my children, and its time that I played bunso
now and just enjoy carrying out the simple responsibilities of being a partner to a girlfriend,
son to my parents, a brother to my siblings and a student to my mentors.
Despite my vigorous protest against playing the game, bahay-bahayan taught me
two very important lessons. First is that it is foolish for adults to act like children and shirk
their responsibilities when even children try to act responsibly during their playtime and
probably every time. The second lesson is that I need to have enough in terms of money
*Young Blood, Philippine Daily Inquirer, March 20, 1977.

and psychological and emotional preparedness before I would even think of getting married
and raising children. Even in the game, we have to have a house or something that looks
like it before we can start playing. We have to be prepared before the game.
I dont really know how I should feel, knowing that even as I consider how to liven
up my evenings, my best friends are freaking out trying to hush up their kids and frantically
trying to find out whether they are wet or hungry.
I thank God for my not very fascinating but still fruitful experience with bahaybahayan.

*Young blood, Philippine Daily Inquirer, March 20, 1977.