Is there still a need for EJF?

An insider’s perspective

After being a mentor for some time with The Eternal Jewish Family and
witnessing first hand its many serious flaws, the question is what do we need
such an organization that dilutes the very framework of halachah that has guided
the Jewish people for the last two thousand years?

My first assignment was to work with an intermarried couple, where the

non-Jewish husband was enthusiastic about committing to Judaism and learning
what it means to become a Jew. His Jewish spouse was less than enthusiastic
and cold about the whole idea.

As I was approached by Rabbi Jacobs to speak to this family, I asked him

point blank, how can you even think about working with this man if his wife is not
supportive and wants nothing really to do with Judaism?

Not only that, from a halachic perspective, what was I allowed to teach this
man if his wife was not yet on board? Jewish history? A little bit of Hebrew?
Gematrias?

As I posed this question to Rabbi Jacobs, he did acknowledge that this

certainly was not lechatchila to work with such a family, but he wanted to see
where it would go.

After all the conferences all over the world and world-class Rabbanim and
Rosh Yeshivos who took part, who paskened such a question that this was
permissible?

Another glaring question that I asked as I started my work for them was: is
there a Shulchan Aruch or a standard that you use when deciding which families
to take, who not to take?

What about the curriculum? Was there even a syllabus? Who are the
tutors that are used, how are tutors qualified? What education is given, if any at
all, to the Jewish partner?

After all, doesn’t the Jewish partner have to have the same commitment
and knowledge as the non-Jewish partner who wants to convert? Is there a rav in

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any of these communities who gives these people guidance and if so, how much
contact does EJF have with them?

To illustrate the chaos in this organization, I want to tell the following story.
My wife and I worked with a certain couple. We were giving them classes for
more than a year and then they were ready to go in front of the beis din. The
shabbos before the conversion, they came to our house and we met them for the
first time.

The family was very nice. Definitely committed to the ideals of a Torah way
of life. Their kids were in a local day school in their community and quite frankly,
we were very proud of the work we had done with them.

When they were in the middle of their conversion with the beis din, we
received a call to verify their seriousness and commitment to Judaism. We had
only met them that shabbos but were in close contact with them over the year
and were able to see and hear about their progress and what spiritual direction
they were headed.

The beis din was happy with our recommendation and based on our final
say, finished the conversion. What about the community in which they lived?
Wasn’t there any rabbinical figure there that they had worked with that could
have verified the information that the beis din required? What verification was
there of their Shabbos, Yom Tov experience?

After this episode, I again mentioned to Rabbi Jacobs, how could it be, that
after more than a year of working with EJF that they were not in contact with any
rabbinical figure in their area that could tell how they were progressing and what
they were doing?

Even if the families that EJF works with are serious minded and committed
to an Orthodox lifestyle, who is guiding these people in their own communities?
Is it enough just for the mentors to speak to them on the phone?

This leads to another question. Who are these mentors? I asked Rabbi
Jacobs many times who they used as mentors and how he qualified them as
good mentors. I never got an answer on that even though I heard that they use
fine people. After all, even though EJF is an organization under the umbrella of
Rabbi Tropper’s Baal Teshuvah Yeshivah, Kol Yaakov, is conversion really the
same thing as kiruv?

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 Do we want kiruv people or even baalei batim working with these people
without any special training? There were no qualifying criteria for being a mentor
for this organization. Period. Not only that, they gave the Jewish spouse only an
hour a week to learn with someone from Partners in Torah.

Being a good mentor and knowing how to teach these converts and their
spouses requires special training. That training must come from someone who
has expertise in conversion and how to work with such people.

Over the years, I met my share of mentors for EJF and simply put, they could
have used Mr. Kaplan’s money more wisely and hired people to train them. I do
know of one case where someone was learning with a mentor and after four
months, finished the first two of the Rambam’s 13 Principles of Faith.

Teaching takes time and no one wants to rush a convert and convert them
before they are ready, but at that rate, it may take years before the prospective
convert gets the proper information they need to convert.

This prospective convert contacted me many times and expressed great

frustration at the slowness of the pace. Although this may be an isolated case
and other students may continue at a healthier pace, nonetheless, it is
understandable how that could frustrate someone.

Another student told me that they wanted to “dive” into learning and were
given some classes about the basics of Judaism. Although a good start, didn’t
they have a curriculum to give their mentors to teach and a systematic plan of
how much to teach and how much ground that they should cover each week,
month?

I heard other stories from students about mentors that turned off their
students and had “their own way” of doing things. When one of the students
confronted me about this, I asked them, find out who their rav is and see who
they go to ask their questions too about how they are supposed to do this.

The student came back to me a few days later and told me that the mentors
were all flustered thinking that their authority was being usurped and who were
they to question what they were doing! In essence, no rabbinical authorities to go
to; I am my own Daas Torah.

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 With all the hoopla of the many conventions that EJF has had all over the
world, what about all the choshever Rabbanim and Roshei Yeshiva that have
addressed these conferences. Do they really have any inkling as to what is
happening within the organization?

Are they ever given any serious halachic questions to deal with? The
bottom line of all these conventions was that it seemed there was a difference of
opinion among the vast rabbinic personalities about conversion in general.

Even at one of the dayanim conferences, one prominent dayan told me

that over the course of two days, there may have been about 10 minutes of real
information that he benefited from. I am afraid to ask what these people did the
rest of the time?

What about the batei din on EJF’s list that states that they are all on the
same page about the idea of a universal conversion. In theory it is a great idea,
but in reality there are many batei din on this list that first of all, don’t even know
they are on the list but also have no idea what the organization does.

Some of these stories are just the tip of the iceberg of the disaster and
krumkeit that this organization purports, all in the name of helping these families
and helping with establishing a universally accepted conversion. Yes, such an
organization should exist and continue this important work.

It must be done with competent people that know what they are doing!
There needs someone to oversee the mentors and to train them. There should
be close contact with batei din and Rabbanim in the communities so that
everyone will be on the same page.

The Jewish spouse needs real education from people who have the
knowledge to give it to them. It should not be once a week for an hour! They
have to be involved in their own communities and show the commitment needed
for the non-Jewish spouse to convert.

Unfortunately, there are probably thousands of people out there that could
be helped by such an organization. If it would be done in the proper way, without
compromising halachah, it could be an unbelievable Kiddush Hashem.

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 As of right now, it is a disaster and in total disarray. It’s not about the
scandal and how it happened. It is about who is running the organization and
why it is hefker. Putting the right people in charge, could make all the difference
in the world but it instead it looks like a one-man show.

As the old adage goes, it is either my way or no way. From Rabbi

Dunner’s letter, it definitely looks that way and that is just a recipe for disaster!