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A supplement to The Jewish Standard Winter 2015

CELEBRATIONS

EVENTS

&

Photographed by Abbey Photographers

Sp e c t a c u l a r
Ba l l ro o m
R e n ov a t i o n
Reopening
March 2015

2014
READERS
CHOICE

Now Offering Off-Premise Catering

Places in the heart


Area venues draw wedding, bar-bat mitzvah, celebration and events crowds
hEIdI mae BraTT

hen I was still in college, I


got a job at a local catering
hall. It was at the Conservative temple in my Brooklyn
neighborhood. Temple Sholom of Flatbush by day was a synagogue that held
religious services and Hebrew school
classes. But by night, the grand room
was transformed into a disco-ball
sparkling, dance-floor gleaming event
space where celebrants feted the couple or person of honor as they wined
and dined. I worked there as a waitress,
ladling out steaming bowls of mushroom barley soup, plating thick slices of
medium rare prime rib French style
and folding and refolding napkins when
partygoers left their seats to shimmy to
the bands version of Celebration by
Cool & the Gang, a song that opened
every simcha.
I loved that job. It wasnt easy. I was
always on my feet. But it was always a
party.
Fast forward a decade and a half, and

my fianc Jeff and I were looking for a


venue to have our own wedding. We
looked here. We looked there. But we
wound up where I had started Temple
Sholom of Flatbush. There was a new

Shopping for a venue to hold


a wedding or another
celebration or milestone event
is part of the experience
culminating in the happy event.
glatt kosher caterer, a chef-businessman, who cradled all my concerns and
assured me he would tend to all the
details. The decision was made. Temple Sholom was close to home, pretty
and very familiar. Also, it was a place of
happy memories okay, so I was on the
sidelines as a waitress, but now I would

be out in front as a bride. Our wedding


was beautiful.
Shopping for a venue to hold a wedding or another celebration or milestone event is part of the experience
culminating in the happy event. Fortunately, there are so many venues
in this area. We asked some to
share what makes them a special
place to hold a special event.
Les Friedman, owner of
Northern Valley Affairs at
Temple Emanu-El in Closter,
is unveiling a floor-to-ceiling
refurbishment of its 7,800
square-foot ballroom, just in
time for the March 7 annual
dinner-dance for Temple Emanu-El. The room, with new
drapes, carpeting, and cherry
woodwork in a transitional
design, gives a lift to the 13-yearold building and shows people
a change. Its good to have a fresh
look, said Mr. Friedman, who co-

partners with manager, Marty Magged.


You have to keep competitive and on
top of the trends in food, dcor and service.
The dcor in the ballroom may be

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WINTER 2015

new, but a piece of history lives inside


the sanctuary, which was designed with
a 90-year-old stained glass dome originating from the Brooklyn Jewish Center.
Also, Mr. Friedman said, the grounds
of the facility allow for ceremonies to
take place indoors or outdoors. Brides
love that indoor-outdoor space. For
autumn weddings we have heat lamps
that can warm and raise the temperature 20 degrees, an option for cocktails,
a hibachi station or a multitude of other
things.
The Pearl River Hilton in Pearl River,
N.Y., a family-owned and operated hotel
for three decades, has distinguished
itself for the past five years and been
recognized for Best Overall Service
of all Hiltons in the tri-state area. Most
recently it was recognized for Best
Overall Event Experience of all Hiltons
in the United States.
Owner and general manager William Maloney III said the venue prides
itself on hosting one wedding or bar/bat

mitzvah at a time, and because it is a


hotel, the convenience of booking some
of its 150 rooms is appealing to many of
its clients.
Pearl River Hilton has also just completed a refresh of its lobby, grand
ballroom and other banquet spaces.
The response so far has been fantastic, said Mr. Maloney. Our property
has a very traditional feel to it, from our
exterior to the architectural details within our hotel yet we have been successful in introducing interesting eclectic
design elements to keep our look fresh.
Gerry Burns, the catering manager
at Pearl River Hilton, which has the
capacity to host a 550-person wedding
party, said the facility is very fluent in
kosher and Orthodox weddings and bar
mitzvahs in which the hotel is transformed into Shabbat-observant weekends from the start of services on Friday
night throughout Saturday. The accommodations extend to having a Shabbat
elevator operator for guests who stay

where the story begins..

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over to guards on the floors who help


the guests with entry into their rooms
which are locked electronically.
Mr. Maloney said that its restaurant,
Two Henrys, offers great dining options
for before or after the main reception.
Also, guests can enjoy Clearwater Tavern following the reception before easily
returning to their rooms.
At the Elan in Lodi, Lisa Ferrone, general manager, said that prospective clients love the convenience of packages
that are offered, which include leads
to a preferred list of DJs and photographers. The award-winning wedding
venue and banquet hall offers an intimate atmosphere with event spaces for
all kinds of events from weddings to
bar/ bat mitzvahs to sweet sixteen parties.
Ms. Ferrone said a popular highlight
at the Elan is the themed food stations.
Guests wander through a culinary globe
with prepared food from a Taste of Italy
to Latin victuals to brewery stations.

Other highlights, Ms. Ferrone said, are


the grand ballroom and another event
room which are equipped with mounted 65-inch and 55-inch screens for
video needs that guests might have, be
it a video montage or engagement photos and the like.
The Estate at Florentine Gardens,
located in a Georgian-style mansion
on four acres in River Vale, is a familyrun business that makes sure to host
only one wedding at a time. Its a nice
exclusive venue and we make sure that
it is the brides special day and exclusively yours, said Maria Daidone, who
works with her father Thomas Daidone
and sister, Amanda. One advantage
to having a family-run business, she
said, is that the owner is always here
on site.
The grand ballroom at The Estate at
Florentine Gardens accommodates 360
guests and is surrounded by floor-toceiling windows and features 25-footSee venues page 6

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EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

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Street _________________________________________________________________
City/State/Zip ___________________________________________________________
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Mail to: Jewish Standard, 1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666
or fax to: 201-833-4959 by March 20, 2015.
*By entering this contest you agree to have your
name added to the Jewish Standard e-mail newsletter list.

Jewish Standard

S-5

S-6 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

Venues
from page 4

high ceilings, a stately mahogany fireplace, 10-foot crystal chandeliers, and a


Juliet balcony perfect for tossing of the
bouquet or for photo opportunities.
The gardens are also big and beautiful for a wedding, no matter what the
season, Ms. Daidone said.
Anthonys Pier 9 in New Windsor,
N.Y., has been one of the areas premier
glatt kosher catering halls since 1996.
For Orthodox weddings large and small,
the venue offers several separate rooms
for the smorgasbord and the grooms
tisch, an indoor tropical garden for the
chuppah, and a grand ballroom with
the capacity for up to 1,000 guests, in
addition to a yichud room for the bride
and groom.
While it has been the choice of many
Rockland County residents to hold their
weddings, clients have traveled from
around the tri-state area and Pennsylvania to have their simcha.
Were upstate and out of the city so
were not your ordinary banquet hall,
said Chip Olszewski, general manager
of Anthonys Pier 9. Its a very different feeling being up here, out of all the
hustle and bustle.
The facility offers one-stop shopping,
with pricing including the rental of the
hall and the catering all in one.

Another jazzy feature, Mr. Olszewski


said, is an elevator that comes out of the
floor on the stage in the ballroom. When
introducing the bride and groom, this
dramatic entrance adds a unique quality. Its cool. The elevator comes out
of the floor and up come the bride and
groom.
Like many of the other venues,
Teaneck Marriott at Glenpointe has
renovated its lobby and event spaces,
making it a sleek venue for weddings,
dinners, events and other gatherings.
Mitchell Heymann, director of sales
and marketing at Teaneck Marriott at
Glenpointe, said another plus is that the
venue is one of the more upscale hotels
in northern Jersey. If youre looking for
a full-service venue with a gym, a spa, a
restaurant, we do that all here.
Patrice Jungermann, the catering
sales manager at the Teaneck Marriott at Glenpointe, recalled a recent
Orthodox wedding where the bride and
groom were separated until the bedeken, the moment when the groom
veils the bride. The young man and his
friends had a nice long hallway to sing
and dance as they went up to the bride.
They enjoyed that.
For a Manhattan loft-like ambience
and new American cuisine, Park West
Loft in Ridgewood is a new event space.
It is so new, said chef/co-owner John
Halligan, that it is preparing for its first

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

wedding in May.
We thought the neighborhood
needed a place to throw parties, said
Mr. Halligan, who is the chef at the Park
West Tavern, located downstairs from
the loft. When the second floor, previously used for offices, became available, the owners transformed the 4,000
square feet into the loft.
We are calling it a special event
venue, Halligan said. The ambience is
very trendy, very cool.
Right in the heart of Teaneck, Shaarei Orah, The Sephardic Synagogue of
Teaneck on Essex Road in the Whittier
section of the West Englewood, offers a
centralized location for special events.
One of its many pluses, location, location, location. Its location makes it easy
for guests who are staying in town.
The synagogues social hall can
comfortably seat up to 100 people for
gatherings, simchas and other events.
Joel Mizrahi, president of Shaarei Orah
said, Shaarei Orah is a warm kehilla
(community) and its doors are open to
all to join us for tefila (services), events
or to utilize our social hall or other
facilities.
Many informal weddings take place
at the fine dining restaurant Chakra,
located in Paramus. The American
gourmet restaurant can accommodate
parties from 60 to 200 people, said Bill
Carlson, Chakras catering manager.

The Palisadium in Cliffside Park takes


full advantage of its location, said Yossi
Abadi, owner.
We have the most awesome view of
the New York City skyline right on the
Hudson River. Nothing beats that, said
Mr. Abadi.
In addition to the stunning and natural view, Mr. Abadi said that the chef
at the Palisadium remakes the entire
menu every six months, with innovative and interesting culinary treats. We
think theres no way that our chef is
going to up this one, but then he creates this new item. I think that looking and tasting is more than enough,
but we also have a great staff including
event coordinators that will assist a client early in the process to make things
easy.
Another great vista could be had at
the Metropolitan Room at the Newark
Club in Newark. The venue, located on
the 22nd floor atop One Newark Center, features a 6,000 square foot event
space and from that vantage point,
there is a dramatic southern, western
and northern view that includes Manhattan, said Brian Finneran, the executive director.
When it comes to The Rockleigh, in
Rockleigh, theres just one thing to say,
according to office manager, Cheryl
Konstandt. Theres no place like the
Rockleigh.

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Jewish Standard

Your Story Begins Here


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S-7

Having an affair?

S-8 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

Lace embellishment and


sleeves add a vintage
elegance to this wedding dress, which is also
designed off the shoulder.

The Princess Bride


Wedding dresses are fuller, flowing and fairy tale pretty
Sharon Naylor

odays top wedding gown styles


have been described as light
and airy modern minimalist
and ethereal. But what exactly makes a wedding gown all of these
things?
Its a delicate design at the bodice as
opposed to the stiff, constructed bodice
style of years past and a fuller flowing
skirt, as opposed to the sleeker sheath
dresses of years past. Brides want their
wedding gowns to be fairy tale pretty, to
look stunning from all angles.
Diane Forden, editor-in-chief of
Bridal Guide magazine, says that wedding gowns for 2015 run the gamut
from classic ball gowns to short, flirty
dresses, romantic and vintage to citychic. Its up to the bride to decide what
dress looks and feels best on her. She
encourages brides to try on many different styles of dresses including ones they
dont think will look good on them to
find The One.
Here are some of the top trends in
wedding gown designs:

Come see the Largest Selection


of Eveningwear and Sportswear

Mishelynes
Fashions

READERS
CHOICE

Fuller skirts

2011, 2012,
2013, 2014

In todays gown style, tulle skirts


designed in layers add volume, movement and softness to the full-length
gown look.

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885 Teaneck Road Teaneck, NJ 201-862-9595

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Sun & MonClosed Tues to Thurs 9:30-6 Fri 9:30-5 Sat9:30-6

Glam vintage style


Think The Great Gatsby. Long, elegant
dresses with intricate beading reminiscent of the 1920s and 1930s are the
rage. Hand-sewn beading in masterful
artistry is a top look this year, making

the wedding gown even more special


to wear. Also included in this look are
sequins, tiny pearls and lace.

Drop-waist dresses
A dropped waist elongates the figure,
leading into a full skirt. This, especially,
is one of those gown styles to which Ms.
Forden referred. The dress might not
look that good on the hanger but is, in
fact, extremely flattering.
Lace sleeves
The Duchess of Cambridge set the
standard with her lace-sleeved wedding gown, and its a trend that has not
faded. In fact, lace is even more popular
now. Well see lace collars, especially,
for a regal wedding day look a la Kate
Middleton.

Illusion sleeves
Illusion material is a sheer fabric that
allows for a sense of being covered up,
but it is sheer, light, airy and delicate.
Illusion material is used for pretty cap
sleeves over the shoulder, and as the
material for the popular cape or jacket
trend seen on bridal fashion runways.
The bride, then, gets two looks for her
wedding gown, one with the illusion
jacket and one without.

Off-the-shoulder sleeves
The exposed shoulder is all the rage
in wedding gown styles, with the look
encompassing many styles from strapless to a dropped loop of fabric extendSee dresses page 10

The Event of a Lifetime

Jewish Standard

Celebrate your dreams


in our elegant ballroom
and stately lobby,
set amidst lavish gardens
and the historic homes
of Rockleigh.
Our unsurpassed personal
service and custom menus
enhance the magic
of your wedding day.

2014
READERS
CHOICE

FIRST PLACE

26 Paris Avenue Rockleigh, New Jersey 07647 Tel. 201-768-7171 www.therockleigh.net

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WINTER 2015

Dresses
from page 8

ing from each strap, revealing the shoulder. Off-the-shoulder sleeves are seen in
all manner of gown styles, from vintage
to modern to rustic.

Back details
An open back is one of the most popular looks for wedding gowns in 2015,
with the brides back framed by the
keyhole or portrait opening of the back
of the dress. Intricate, artistic lace often
surrounds the open back, adding soft-

ness and romance to what might be


considered an ultra-sexy show of skin.
Lace makes exposed backs look prettier
and more princess-like.

Dresses in color
While white and ivory will always be
popular wedding gown colors, especially given how many different shades
of white and ivory there are. But todays
bride is open to a wedding dress in
color. She pays no mind to the symbolism of the white dress and instead
chooses her gown shade to comple-

T H A T

Look

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

ment her skin tone and meet her dream


dress vision. Top colors of wedding
dresses seen on the bridal fashion runways: blush colors of pink, pale blue,
lavender, gray, silver, tan, mauve and
mint green, for something different and
more personalized.

Metallics
Gowns with sparkle are in, with perhaps
a shimmering wrap effect around the
hips, in material that glitters in the light,
making this more of a look for nighttime weddings. Top colors in metallics
are gold and copper, which are warmer
shades that work year-round.

Crop dresses
These two-piece dresses for the unconventional bride feature the brides
exposed belly, most often in a very subtle way, just for a glimpse of skin at the
mid-section, above a short or full skirt.
This is a top choice for destination weddings, as well.
Because vintage dress styles are in,
more brides are commissioning replicas
of their grandmothers or great-grandmothers wedding dresses, bringing in
vintage lace styles and that breathtaking
beadwork that the 1920s and 1930s are
known for.
From Creators.com

Sharon Naylor is the author of The Brides Guide to Freebies and three dozen additional wedding books.

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White is not the only color that brides are choosing to wear as they walk down the aisle, as
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This wedding dress has a major wow factor from


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We came to the
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We often combine work with chessed for people
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Since we opened, we have traveled throughout the
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S-11

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CHAPERONES
S-12 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

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EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

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A winning suit, replete with vest, by Belvest, available at Vero Uomo in Englewood.

Well Suited
Leaner silhouettes, bold colors and retro trends are the rage
Heidi Mae Bratt

www.jstandard.com

f clothes make the man, then todays


well-dressed man is a lean, clean,
sartorially sizzle machine with a look
that borrows the best of the past and
puts modern pizzazz into the present.
Local upscale mens fashion emporiums say that to be in the in fashionwise, a man cannot just shake the dust
off his two-piece pleated pant, full jacketed suit and strut his stuff. Men in their
20s, 30s and even into their 50s and
upward are sporting the hippest, most
happening looks, which have landed
here from the runways of Europe to the
shops in Bergen County and beyond.
And why not?
Men here care about the way they
look, and have the guidance of fashion
savvy experts to help them dress with
the best.
Rob Roselli, who works with his
father Mario Roselli, owner of Vero
Uomo in Englewood, said that true

to his fathers mission to carry unique


styles and give his customers a fashion
edge, men looking for style this season have some beautiful top-of-the line
handmade suits to make a statement at
any event, affair, or wedding.
The store carries some of the top
fashion designers and brands, including Pal Zileri, Belvest, and Tom Ford, to
name a few.
Those suits have slimmed down and
are now tight-fitting, lean silhouettes,
with trim pants that even come up
shorter than hems of yesterday, said Mr.
Roselli, who explained that Vero Uomo
means true man in Italian.
Remember John Travoltas iconic
white, three-piece suit that he sported
in the 1977 film, Saturday Night Fever?
Well, the vest is back. And so is the
three-piece suit.
The look has come full circle, said
See SUITED page 14

S-14 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

Wedding and
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Invitations

A & M SpeciAliStS, inc.

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EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

Suited
from page 12

Mr. Roselli.
Diana Yomtobian, owner of Monte
Carlo in Westwood, said the doublebreasted look has lost its boxy appearance from the past and is now a fitted
look with closures of six, even eight buttons, as opposed to four-buttons.
They are absolutely gorgeous, said
Ms. Yomtobian. Its a fresh look with
something for everyone. A man cannot
go to a function looking like 10 years
ago.
Colors are also very big with suits
available in royal blue and other shades
rather than merely grey, blue and black,
she said.
And dont think that the snug look
is only meant for the young guy with a
34-inch waist and a six-pack.
While these men may have them custom-made, the big guys, such as the
football Super Bowl stars, were sporting
lean suits in an array of colors, such as
red, and fabrics, like velvet.
To set off the new look from the bottom up, Mr. Roselli said that wing-tip
shoes are very popular.
And add to that socks in a rainbow of
funky colors and wild patterns, which
are being worn by men who want to
express a little bit of personality when
the sock peeks out from under.
When it comes to their clothes or at
least their socks said Mr. Roselli, dont
think boys dont want to have fun, too.
Even the most conservative Wall
Street guy might be doing a black suit,
white shirt, red tie and then, those wild
patterned socks, he said.

This gray suit, available at Monte Carlo in Westwood, takes the classic version and updates it to
a modern lean silhouette.

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The modern suit comes in an array of colors, like this


one in royal blue.

Trim black suit makes the


grade for any black-tie event.

Jewish Standard

S-15

S-16 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

Milestone Birthday Bash


Mickey and Minnie join one mans family to celebrate the big 8-0
Ed Silberfarb

he big 80th birthday was in the


not too distant future. My plan
was to go quietly into that ninth
decade, maybe a glass of scotch
and early to bed. My wife Sharon
thought otherwise.
Lets take the whole family to Disney
World, she effused.
By that you mean airfare, hotel, food
and theme park tickets for 11 people?
Right. We must start planning now.
Its just six months away.
Immediately three problems came
to mind: (1) the calendar, how to go
when its not too hot, too expensive, too
crowded, and the grandchildren are free
from school; (2) food that is certified
kosher not only by a mashgiach, but
also by my son, Yossie; (3) and, oh, yes,
money.
We ruled out July and August because
of Florida heat, vacation mobs and high
season expense. We finally settled on
June when the scorching weather and
massive crowds are just beginning and
the school absences would be minimized.
Our son, Jake, a Marine Corps reservist, was able to ease some of the pain by
getting military discounts for the hotel
and tickets to the theme parks.

The Silberfarb family celebrating Eds 80th birthday in Disney World.

Arranging meals for our kosher family was like planning the Allied invasion of North Africa. We agreed breakfast would be juice, cold cereal, fruit,
yogurt, milk and coffee in our rooms,
which would have refrigerators and coffee makers.
For lunch everyone would be on his
own, because we learned that each of
the theme parks had at least one eatery
that offered limited kosher food.
We would regroup for dinner, the one
time each day we would all be together.
Disney can provide full kosher meals on
request, and a great cloud of concern

was lifted when we learned that the Disney kosher caterer was a friend of Sharons nephew, Michael.
However, eating kosher food in a
non-kosher restaurant created the
wrong impression, said Yossie, so our
dinners together were either in secluded corners or, on two occasions, in elegant private rooms.
Our hotel would be the new Animal
Kingdom Lodge. Its vast interior was
fashioned like the headquarters of a
royal African chieftain. Carved pillars of
polished wood adorned the huge atrium. Tribal masks and other African-style

Devorah and Grandpa Ed at his 80th birthday in


Disney World.

decorations were throughout the lobby.


But the most dramatic sight was when
we entered our beautiful room. Outside
See birthday page 18

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Birthday
from page 16

our windows were giraffes, zebras and


long-horned deer. Granddaughter Alina,
then age three, thought they were pictures until she saw them move.
Our first day we went to the Magic
Kingdom, the jewel of the Disney
crown, where Cinderellas castle looms
above and tourists swirl about to await
Peter Pans Wild Ride, to join Pirates of
the Caribbean and to learn that Its a
Small World After All.
Granddaughter Devorah, age 11,
announced that I was to be her escort
throughout Disney World. I was flattered until I learned that my movements would be restricted. She rejected
Splash Mountain where a harrowing
roller coaster ride ended in a cold-water
dunk, refreshing for a hot day. Instead
we experienced more sedate activities
like a concert by animated bears playing
country music instruments and singing
in a western drawl.
But nothing could match the charm
of the Disney light parade with floats
twinkling in phantasmagorical designs
down Main Street of the Magic Kingdom.

Overriding all was the birthday,


not only my 80th, but also nephew
Michaels 50th. He and his family and
Sharons sister, Joan, joined us for part
of our stay. Disney anointed me with
a saucer-size Mickey Mouse Happy
Birthday, Ed button that evoked greetings from all passersby. Loneliness was
never a problem when I wore it.
We ordered massive birthday cakes
with suitable decorations for each of the
four celebratory dinners, marking my
80th, Michaels 50th, grandson Naftalis
recent bar mitzvah and Devorahs forthcoming bat mitzvah.
Disneys newest theme park was the
Animal Kingdom, which we explored on
our second day. Featured was the Safari
Ride where a one-hour wait attested to
its popularity. We climbed aboard an
all-terrain vehicle with oversized wheels
and jungle markings. We rolled along
rutted roads, over shallow creeks and
through occasional swamps. Along the
way we saw herds of elephants, hippos taking mud baths, both black and
white rhinos, a lone cheetah, giraffes,
zebras and various species of grazing
African deer, while a narrator told us
about unseen animals hidden in the
deep brush.

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

A walking tour brought us past a


pompous-looking silver back gorilla
and a regal lion. Less exotic animals
were in a petting zoo where Alina fed
sheep and goats.
We devoted a day to EPCOT, known
to the cognoscenti as the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.
There one could learn, among myriad
other findings, the secrets of manufacturing a car in fact creating your own
virtual car, computerizing its design,
engine type, color and other details.
Then six of us Sharon, Jake, Naftali,
Devorah, Yehuda and I got in a simulated version of the car and went for a
hair-raising test drive.
Our main meal that day was in the
dramatic Seven Seas restaurant where
one entire wall was a tank with dazzling
coral reefs and tropical fish. Among the
scores of pictures from the trip is one
showing grandson Eli appearing to be
part of the seascape.
The EPCOT lagoon is surrounded
by pavilions of Mexico, Norway, China,
Germany, Italy, Japan, Morocco, France,
the United Kingdom, Canada and the
U.S. The nations strive to tell their story,
show off their spectacular scenery, offer
their exotic food and, not incidentally,

entice you to buy their unique, pricey


goods.
After sunset the EPCOT lagoon was
the scene of exciting fireworks, but
before sunset there was another activity. Yossie and Michael rounded up a
minyan for mincha behind the Canada
pavilion. There is, after all, a higher calling that surpasses even Disney World.
And why Disney World anyway, a
commercial complex, for an 80th birthday? It was, after all, a sentimental journey to a place we had visited 36 years
earlier. Yossie was three, Jake five, and
Disney World itself was only four years
old. I had seen Orlando in my distant
past when it was a land of lakes and
orange groves, later replaced by the
Magic Kingdom, the monorail and a
great man-made lagoon.
Now at age 80, in this fantasyland,
keeping pace with five lively grandchildren, there were still moments of nostalgia.
Ed Silberfarb was a reporter for the Bergen Record in New Jersey, then the New York Herald
Tribune where he was City Hall bureau chief.
Later, he was a public information officer for
the New York City Transit Authority and editor
of one of its employee publications.

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Jewish Standard

Matrimonial
Money Matters
Put financial issues on the table
before stepping down the aisle

arriage is a milestone in life, yet, many enter


into the next phase without asking their
spouse some vital questions about money. If
you are among the soon-to-be wed, consider
starting a conversation using the questions below.
Couples who plan their expenses ahead of time are
more likely to enjoy their earnings, and less likely to
need credit repair intervention.

Men, women and weddings


Women erroneously are portrayed as the ones who go
over-the-top when it comes to spending on their big
day, but recent Harris Poll findings tell a different story.
The online study found that twice the number of men
said they would or did go into debt to pay for their
dream wedding.
The study also found that both men and women
valued financial responsibility. In fact, 91 percent indicated a preference for entering marriage debt-free as
opposed to having a dream wedding.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment built on trust,
clear communication and honesty, said John Heath,
directing attorney for Lexington Law. While some
may find financial discussions unnecessary, understanding each other intimately in terms of what you
both bring to the table be it wealth or debt will
strengthen your relationship and help to avoid potentially serious friction to your marriage down the road.

Discussing money matters


So how does one go into a marriage with a solid financial standing? Those soon-to-be-wed couples who
converse openly about their finances are more likely
to enjoy their big day with an understanding of their
mates views on money. The experts at Lexington Law
offer these questions every newly engaged couple
should ask before the big day:

1. How do you view money?


This is a loaded question, but your fiancs answer
will help you understand their perspective and how it
aligns with yours. Here are a few conversation starters
on the subject:
How do you budget your money?
Are you meticulous about your bills and expenses,
or are you comfortable to just wing it?
Whats the most you would ever spend on a home,
car, piece of clothing, etc.?

2. How should we
budget for a family?
Children are expensive, especially if you havent
planned for them. Talk to your partner about how
many children you would both like to have. Plan for
child living expenses and how they will impact your
budget, i.e. clothes, food, activities, medical expenses,
schooling, etc.

3. How should we
communicate about money?
Some couples are content to let one person handle the
finances, and others like to split up the bills and share
household responsibilities. Regardless of what you

decide, it is important to have a plan in place before


getting married.

4. What should we do when


we disagree about spending?
You and your spouse wont agree on everything. In fact,
you may completely disagree on how to spend, save,
and generally manage your money. The question is:
What should you do when these disagreements arise?
Avoiding the subject will put you at greater risk for
financial and marital trouble. Theres no easy answer
for this one, but presenting the topic during your conversation is a good start.

S-19

5. Do you have any debts


that I should be aware of?
Secrets are not the best addition to a marriage, especially when it comes to debt. Be sure you and your
soon-to-be put the credit cards on the table before
walking down the aisle. Marriage is a life partnership;
start by dealing with your debt together.
Youll head into your new life as a married couple
with ease when you have an open and honest dialog
about your financial situation. For more tips for managing your money, or your credit, visit www.LexingtonLaw.com.
Family Features

e Chef
Best 2011
KoLar
S-20 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

Getting Married in a Flash

Pop-up weddings become popular for easy, breezy nuptials


Kristen Castillo

he mood is light and fun, and


guests are arriving whenever
its convenient. They may think
theyre attending a barbecue or
maybe even your engagement party, but
what they dont know is the celebration
is actually a wedding.
Pop-up weddings, also known as
flash weddings, have been trending
lately with couples that want the party
without all the fuss.
Still, the seemingly impromptu weddings require quite a bit of planning and
a lot of secrecy. After all, no one except
the bride and groom, and a few select
others, know the event is a wedding.
In some cases, the bride or groom may
even be surprised, too, since sometimes
one would-be spouse surprises the
other with an unexpected ceremony.
It tends to be easier for couples to
plan a surprise wedding on their guests
than one half of the couple surprising
the other half, said wedding planner

Kia Martinson of ESTOccasions and


Engaged Connecticut. There is a lot
that goes into planning a wedding, and
having to keep that secret can be difficult.

How Easy Really?

The concept of a pop-up wedding may


seem fuss-free, but wedding experts disagree.
In my opinion, a flash or pop-up
wedding takes quite a bit of planning,
so its an ironically complicated spur-ofthe-moment wedding concept to pull
off, said Dorian Smith-Garcia, editorin-chief of The Anti Bridezilla, a luxury
bridal site, who explains that at the very
least youll need an officiant and a witness, while a flash-mob wedding may
require additional pre-planning and
rehearsals.
Still, its an option for brides and
grooms who dont want to plan and host
a more formal wedding.

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The concept of a pop-up wedding may seem fuss-free, but wedding experts say it takes a lot of work to
pull off.

Traditional wedding planning can be


exhausting for a couple, said Dezhda
Dee Gaubert, owner of No Worries
Event Planning, noting the pressure of

handling big-day details such as invitations and tracking down RSVPs.


By treating the event as something
See Pop-up Weddings page 22

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S-22 Jewish Standard

WINTER 2015

To be part of the next

Event &
Celebrations
Bar/Bat
or

Brides
Magazine
Call us at

201-837-8818
Ask for our yearly Calendar
of Supplements

Pop-up Weddings
from page 20

more casual, the guests are more laid


back about the event, barely even connecting with the couple in the months
or days leading up to it, and thus, the
couple can relax and instead get excited
about the surprise, instead of stressed
about the lead-up to the actual wedding, she said.
Smith-Garcia agrees, explaining popup weddings are for couples looking for
a truly unconventional wedding.

The Guest List


While weddings are all about the bride
and groom, their respective families
want to be a part of the celebration, too.
Some guests, including family members, are okay with flash weddings,
while others are not so enthusiastic.
Much like a destination wedding to
a far-flung spot that requires expensive travel plans, not everyone is up for
the concept of a pop-up wedding that
requires secretive planning and in some
cases subdued attire so you blend into
the crowd in a very public space, said
Smith-Garcia.
Be careful not to hurt family members feelings if possible, and share your
plans in advance with a family insider

EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS

for both the bride and groom.


My one big piece of advice is to let
someone on both sides of the family
know to make sure they are able to help
get the right people to the wedding,

Hosting a pop-up wedding


may look fun and spontaneous,
but there is a lot that goes
into planning such an event,
especially if it is going to be at
an off-beat location.
said Martinson. You would hate someone important to miss it cause they
arent sure what is going on.

Planning a Pop-Up Party


Dont be fooled into believing flash
weddings really happen spontaneously.
Hosting a pop-up wedding does take
work, especially if the ceremony is going
to be at an offbeat location.
For example, Gaubert plans weddings in Paris, where the legend is you
can literally organize your friends and

get married on the street.


Sometimes these on-the-fly weddings work, but not always. In various
metropolitan areas, you really need to
check first with the city to ensure there
arent any permits necessary or to
secure the necessary permit, she said.
If guests are invited, its essential
everyone arrive in time for the ceremony.
I recommend that couples say there
is a big announcement at a certain
time, said Gauber. Itll leave guests
guessing and ensures they arrive on
time.

Budget
Think a pop-up wedding is budget
friendly? Maybe, maybe not.
Permits can be costly, as can some
of the other big-day logistics, such as
your clothing, food for the party, flowers, photography, videography and hiring a coordinator.
Much like a destination wedding,
there are hidden costs and hurdles that
need to be considered, said Smith-Garcia, noting that time spent planning the
wedding adds up, too.
You may find that you set yourself
up for more work than you expected.
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