"There's a difference between being a southern girl and a redneck piece of white trash.

" Unknown Southerner

$2,374,590

VOLUME FOUR

ISSUE 7

0 2 . 1 2 .15

Welcome
to
Armadillo
Acres!
The Great American Trailer Park Musical - Around and About, Page 7
E n o u g h S w e e t Ta l k f r o m 4 - B ' s B o b G r e y t o Tr i g g e r a R u n o n I n s u l i n

P L U S : 7 D AY N E W B R A U N F E L S L I V E M U S I C G U I D E

Chili CooK-Off
Saturday, February 21
Cooking begins at 10am, judging at 3pm. Live music!

1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045

omalovesyou.com

table

830.358.2493

of

contents

1st Word

4-B makes our teeth

hur t from all the
sugar y wordplay.

One copy (per person) of TX Citizen is

available free of charge, with the prior written
consent of TX Citizen required to remove
multiple copies from distribution points.
Multiple copies and back issues are available
at TX Citizen offices for $2.50 each.

STAFF / CONTACT
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief Mike Reynolds
Director of Distribution Chase Cochran
Art Director Kayla Wallace
Editorial: news@txcitizen.com
Advertising: sales@txcitizen.com
Distribution: distribution@txcitizen.com

On Occasion

How to pick up chicks,

Farberer-style.

All original content is copyright

TX Citizen. TX Citizen is published
every Thursday.

The Countys
Most Wanted

Look Daddy!
Mommys in the paper!

Ask a Mexican
Gustavo of fends in
two languages.

Line Crushers

TX CITIZEN
1111 N. Walnut Avenue
New Braunfels, TX 78130
830.358.2493

118 Common St.

830.387.4466

Stop by
for

a BIG, JU
ICY
B

URGER!

24 Beers on Tap - Full Bar

Live Entertainment - Pool Tables

BLACK WHALE PUB

367 Main Plaza 830-625-6605

989 Loop 337 830.626.2253

/SweetDreamsNB

m
S tay wa ru d w i g s !
with L

The Great American

Trailer Park Musical!

The ONLY guide of its kind

for the NB/SM Metroplex!

Our NFL handicapping

contest is back for 2014!

15

Karaoke Thursday & Sunday

DJs Wednesday Friday Saturday

Open Mon-Sat 11 to 8
Closed Sundays

Around & About

Citizen
Soundcheck

12

SP

WITH US

D RAN
U

CH

ADVERTISE

14

Last Word

Colby on climate,
again.

1 9 7 S . S e g u i n Av e 8 3 0 . 6 2 9 . 0 5 4 0
The Gruene Grind Coffee Company is now

Join us for

Single Origin Espresso and Brews

Handcrafted Blends Whole Bean Coffee
Pastries Breakfast Tacos Free Wi-Fi

Lunch!

Tuesday-Saturday

2348 Gruene Lake Dr. Suite B 830.643.1309

11am - 2pm

/olivesitalianmarket

www.olivesitalian.com
215 S. Seguin Downtown NB 830.620.9188

85 Heating System
Inspection Special!

Dont let the cold

catch you!

GUADA COMA

830-625-2420 GUADACOMA@NBTX.COM 1617 BUSINESS 35 S.

2
2

AD SALES 830.358.2493

1 WORD
ST

4-B Sweet Talks

Populace
Backstory

WITH

MIKE
REYNOLDS

Last week we told you wed

run down the proposed noise
ordinance in detail in this weeks
edition. But then Bob Gray of the
Citys 4-B Board countered our coverage of
the Chapter 380 issue with his annual selfcongratulatory piece in the Houston-owned
Herald-Zeitung, and that stuffs gold. Cant
just walk away from that baloney wagon
without digging into it. Itd be ungrateful to
the journalism gods. So well touch on the
noise issue at the end of the column, but were
devoting most of this weeks space to 4-B. This
is a good one. We got something here we
think youre really going to like.
4-B and the Chamber are run by the
same guy, that guy being Michael Meek. The
publisher of the Herald-Zeitung, who prints the
4-B press releases, sits on the Chamber Board,
whose sole purpose is to keep Meek in charge.
The people who occupy seats on that board
will argue that vehemently, and to them I can
only recommend a 100 level political science
class. Meek also possesses the only functioning
brain at 4-B. In any case, everybodys all
wound up in everybody elses business in a
Gordian knot of conflict of interest.

Bob Gray Speaks

At the grand opening of the new Landa Park
golf course, 4-B President Bob Gray described
4-B as a shop local program, as if tax dollars
collected under 4-B are somehow used to
promote local businesses. They are not. They
are used as bribes incentives and corporate
welfare to attract and/or keep large, well
moneyed private businesses to/in town, and to
help those large businesses not pay taxes and/
or to obtain grants and/or loans on sweetheart
terms. Often these businesses turn out to be
run by criminals, as in the cases of Silver State
Helicopters, the Leisure Pools spin-off company
(the Texas Fiberglass Tank Company), and
The Scooter Store. In business school these
arrangements are referred to by their academic
term, circle jerk. Note: Leisure Pools got the
4-B loan. The TFTC President and Director of
Business Development were arrested by the FBI.
Leisure Pools could be considered the victim in
TXCITIZEN.COM

that case, but hey, they brought the

bad guys to town. Thanks, Leisure
Pools. Kids, be careful with
whom you hang out.
The 4-B tax was sold to this
town as a way to get roads and
drainage fixed, but for the most
part is used for everything else. After
our First Word column of January 29,
where we outlined the Citys newest corporate
welfare program, Chapter 380, (article is pinned
to the top of our Facebook page at facebook.com/
txcitizen), 4-B President Bob Gray coincidentally
submitted this lil nugget of deception to the HZ,
who then disseminated it, without challenge, for
the general public to lap up:
As president of the New Braunfels
Industrial Development Corporation (or 4B
Board), allow me to update Herald Zeitung
readers on past and present investments 4B
has made on behalf of the citizenry. Since
2006, 4B has invested over $36 million (or
greater than 60 percent of our funds) in local
quality of life and public infrastructure projects.
These include investments in Fischer
Park, Landa Park, Brauntex Theatre, Circle
Arts Theatre, Landa Street Bridge Lighting, FM
306 overpasses, the CTTC expansion, Landa
Park Golf Course, the new Dog Park, the
Downtown Restroom project and more.
The 4B Board invests in quality of life
and infrastructure projects because we believe
these initiatives help make New Braunfels
more attractive to our citizens as well to
prospective employers seeking to relocate or
expand their operations.
In addition, this past August the 4B
Board began discussing a five-year investment
plan to help address some of the citys needs.
We held a joint workshop with City Council
in January introducing an initiative whereby
as much as $50 million could be invested
over the next 5+ years in more quality of life
initiatives such as a youth sports park.
We intend for these investments to
serve as a catalyst to further strengthen our
local economy enticing additional private
investment and economic expansion in our
vibrant city. Though in the early stages, these
potential 4B investments would likely be
financed through a combination of cash and
(historically) low interest debt.
Continued on page 5.

WelL Punxsutawney Phil, our nation's leading rodent

meteorologist, has seEn his shadow and predicted six more
weEks of winter. While my FaceboOk feEd has beEn litTered
with doOm and gloOm from my more northern comrades about
the oncoming winter wasteland, here in New Braunfels I
can't help but think, "Bring it on!" While it's not
quite river season, we can stilL enjoy a litTle
sunshine on our faces and a coOl breEze. And what
betTer way to do so than with a chilLed glasS of
ChardonNay and a rousing game of cornhole at New
Braunfels' newest wine bar? For those of you who
want to pretend that there is such a thing as
winter here, have a seat by the firepit with a
glasS of red and a fine cigar. Maybe pour a litTle
out for those unfortunate souls shoveling snow
from their driveways and spitefulLy cursing that
miserable litTle groundhog. On second thought,
don't pour any out. We wouldn't want to be
wasteful. Let's just enjoy the sunshine and thank
the lucky stars that we are in Texas.
- Josh McFarling

133 Landa StreEt

(Across the street from the Landmark)

830.837.5667

HOURS:

Mon-Thurs: 6-10pm
Fri: 6-11pm Sat: 5-11pm
Sun: 10am-4pm
(brunch: 10am-2pm)

USE PROMO CODE

TXC

FOR UP TO $200
IN BONUS CASH!

SIGN UP NOW. FANDUEL.COM

3

1 Bedroom apartment
only $670!
Thats right, we pay your utilities!

SPANKIN New Home For Sale!

1456 sq ft. Three Bedroom, Two Bath.
Separate Kitchen and Dining Room.
Super Energy Efficient. Best Lot in Family-Friendly Comal Farms.

Ready for Move-in!

Stop Renting! Owner Financing Available

Call for Tour

Chuck Woods: 830-620-7653

Greentree
Apartments

Come see us at
5000 Old Hwy 81
in New Braunfels

830-632-5627

Bring in this ad & receive

337
35
a FREE application fee!
337

d
O l 81
y
Hw
35

w
Ne fels
n
u
35
Bra

a
<S

to
An

nio

46

Au

sti

n>

We penetrate 10,000 of these:

52
TIMEs
a
year
THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE. MAKE SURE THEY SEE YOU.
ADVERTISE HERE 830.358.2493
4

AD SALES 830.358.2493

you dig. Its clear to us that the local populace

Continued from page 3.
While our primary mission is to help
create quality primary jobs, our activities
also include a broad range of quality of life
investments investments which benefit
all in New Braunfels and hopefully serve
to benefit and expand our sales tax base.
We are enjoying a great economy and low
unemployment, but history shows that we must
not rest on our laurels. Change is constant,
and we will continue to pursue economic
opportunities for new jobs and wealth creation.
To conclude, the NBIDC remains a
vigilant steward of the citizens money as we
strive for more local economic development
successes, while also investing in quality of life
projects throughout New Braunfels.
Hey. Did you catch that? To conclude,
the NBIDC remains a vigilant steward of the
citizens money. Now hes just screwing
with us. Thats thats part of some kind
of joke. Heres what the criminals at Silver
State Helicopters had to say about the City,
Chamber, and 4-B Board they brazenly took
to the cleaners. Read it twice:
When you look at building a company,
there are a lot of political issues, said (Silver
State) founder and Chief Executive Officer
Jerry Airola. New Braunfels has been nothing
but green lights for us. It seems that a lot of
times if we need something we dont have to
ask. And when we ask for something, they
give us more than we need. - San Antonio
Express News, 11/1/07
Read Nothing but green lights as No
due diligence. 4-B and the Chamber just
couldnt do enough for those little scamps. Hey

is finally waking up to the incestuous been able to hear much, much more from
relationship between 4-B, the Chamber,

Taxpayers

are

so

incredibly

under-

protected here that Im surprised some guy

in a panel van doesnt just grab us and sell
us into white slavery. (Attention Canyon Lake

Wurstfest and have also heard the speaker

City Hall, and the large businesses/criminal system at the Comal County Fair blaring across
enterprises you get in bed with.

the country-side. It doesnt bother me that I do.

Does small business get a break on taxes Events such as these are why I live here.
in this town? No. Do the locals get higher or

However, I would just throw a caution

lower property taxes? In the last three years

into the wind along with the sounds of life in

HAPPY COW
B A R

&

G R I L L

those taxes (or the valuations theyre based New Braunfels. If someone wants to propose a
on) have been approved to go up three times. sound ordinance to eliminate goings-on at the
(Or maybe four. Weve actually lost count.) Pour House, those next two events are even
Do the owners of large commercial buildings

larger noise polluters. Does the city really

get ridiculously expensive upgrades to their want to go there?

buildings at taxpayer expense? YOU BET. 4-B

Makes me wonder if those who are

does it for them, sends us the bill, and Michael

complaining about the Pour Haus really have

Meek takes credit for the genius of the deal something else on their moral agenda. Cause
and the commensurate civic generosity.

as you pointed out, the noise from the Pour

4-B, youre sitting on $22 million taxpayer Haus aint nothin compared to the incessant
dollars, which is enough to pay off everybodys trains all hours of the day and night.
property taxes for nearly two years, but its

I only wish I could be at the Council

earmarked for the politically connected. Go meeting to bring this up, but, unfortunately, Ill
#### yourselves. Seriously. You need to really
consider what youre doing. Its shameful.

be unavailable due to prior committments.

P.S. - I forgot to note that other big noise

Weve got to ask, are the millions of dollars polluter which I can always clearly hear from
that 4-B has paid to the Chamber of Commerce

project? Because thats a lot of scratch to the Comal County Fair Parade. In fact, it
provide to a small-town drinking club.

Thursday
Cow-E-Oke

Friday

Slim Bawb

Saturday

Drawing for
Vegas Getaway.
No entry fee!

our house (and to which the entire community

over the years, considered a quality of life is invited to the extent its a county holiday),
marches right past the Pour Haus--which has to

We have no doubt that 4-B will continue disturb those same people promoting a noise

9103 FM 1102
San Braunfels (Hunter, TX)
512.667.7510
happycowhuntertx.com

to pursue economic opportunities for new jobs ordinance against it.

and wealth creation, as long as those jobs and

Might have to muffle those trumpets and

the wealth go to those with tight connections drums from the numerous high school bands
to Meeks Chamber of Commerce. Remember, which participate. Or invite them to solemnly
To Serve Man was a cookbook.
Its time to liquidate 4-B. We cant afford

march in silence. Or just not invite them all.

But then again, theyre not serving

the criminal element they keep bringing to alcohol as theyre playing music, are they?
town. Were still short cops and the FBI is Hmmmmm....
getting tired of driving up here.

Anyway, it didnt come up at Council last

Monday, so weve got time to cover this in

guys, thanks for being such great stewards of

the citizens money. Youre the tops.

However, from this same address, I have

Noisy Noise Noise

We swear upon all that is holy that well get into
this noise ordinance thing, and soon. To hold
you over we got this pretty swell letter from a

readers: White slavery doesnt mean selling Pour-Haus area resident (identifying information
white people as farm labor. Anybody can withheld because you know how people around

detail before it all goes down.

\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

be a victim and its for an entirely different here get with the pitchforks and whatall):
This whole noise ordinance issue is
kind of work.) Remember, anything done for

Silver State without Silver State requesting it interesting to me. I live on West Mill Street
was something they werent on the hook for about a half a block or so behind the Pour
contractually. Excellent. And nothing has Haus. My wife and I have lived here at this
changed - current 4-B contracts are not written address for ## years. In that time, about the
with an eye toward protecting the taxpayer, as only time Ive been able to hear anything at
weve shown with 2014s CBE deal, an issue our house from the Pour Haus is on a weekend
we will revisit in upcoming weeks.
Bob, youre on the wrong side of this,
and the more you talk, the deeper the hole
TXCITIZEN.COM

afternoon when theyve done a fund-raising

effort to which the entire community has been
invited to participate.

193 W. SAN ANTONIO ST

WWW.THEPHOENIXSALOON.COM
5

V Day

On Occasion

There has been no shortage of articles written

about romance on Valentines Day. There has
also been no shortage of verbiage that spews
advice to men on the art of getting girlfriends.
Its all rot.
As a special Valentines Day gift, Im
going to throw out even more words on the
subject, all in the hope of teaching guys to get
gals. This is valuable advice because I have
had three wives and numerous girlfriends, and
Im no great shakes. I have a successful record
of getting into relationships. Unfortunately as
my three wives and numerous girlfriends will
attest I have been equally good at getting
thrown out of them. (Someone needs to write a
piece advising me on that last bit.)
This article, then, is dedicated to those
guys who are struggling to make a place for
themselves among those happy Valentines
couples. This isnt advice for picking up women
for one-night stands, or developing some
game. Most of my advice is common sense
for those males who have become completely
senseless somewhere along their way.
As for the females, you dont have to do
much because we men are a pretty desperate lot.

I was determined to see this suite for

stuff. Men who do this are under the mistaken

myself, but it had its own private elevator, which

impression that women think like men. Yes, men

The best way to behave with a woman is to not

act like you do with your guy friends. Women
bastards). Instead, I rode the pauper elevators Women, on the other had, dont appreciate are not men and have a whole other set of
to the next highest floor and went up the fire exit a mans unsolicited naked. This is because rules, which they dont always tell you about.
to the top floor in an attempt and get in through and lets be honest here women are more But here are some of the basics:
attractive than men.
the service entrance, but it was locked.
1). Your bodily noises, no matter how
3). Dont follow her around everywhere impressive, will not be considered charming.
Since I was clever, I went back to my car
and got a crowbar from the trunk and headed she goes. One piece of old advice tells
2). Chew with your damn mouth closed.
back into the hotel. No one there questioned you to plan to be wherever she is. This is,
3). Dont compliment her by referring to
why I had a crowbar, but this was a time before presumably, to keep the intendeds thoughts various body parts (hers or yours). Dont tell
they passed laws to deal with people like me. on you. However, this can easily slip from her she looks as hot as a stripper.
I rode the elevator up with a young, being cute into being a stalker. If that
4). If you want to buy her a small gift for
extremely attractive woman who told me she happens, she will certainly think about you, your first date, thats OK. Flowers or candy
was there to meet a client. The obviously high- but not in a healthy way.
may be old fashioned, but thats because
4). DO NOT ask they are acceptable and, trust me, they work.
priced call girl asked
her to marry you on the Never buy her a ring or lingerie.
why I had a crowbar,
first date. Really, people
so I told her. She told
5). Dont ask her if shes a model. Thats a
do this. This is like stupid line older than I am. Likewise, dont ask
me that she wished she
shaking someones hand if shes done porno films.
could break into the
you meet for the first time
suite with me, instead
of having to meet some

and they try to give you

How to Talk to a Girl

guy named John. Then,

an open-mouthed kiss.

unexpectedly, she gave

Its too much, too quick,

me her phone number

too frightening.

If youve never met her before, get to know her

first. Then, ask for her phone number before you
ask her out. The most important first step to success
in gaining a girlfriend is to create a dialogue.
1). Dont tell absurd lies to make yourself
sound more interesting. Dont tell her youre
a ninja, an ultimate fighter, a wizard, a
masseuse, a spy or a modeling agent.
2). Dont be too honest. Dont tell her how
much you love your mother, or that youre a
Satanist. Dont reveal your humiliating medical
history or your questionable legal history.
3). Some people will tell you to just be
yourself. Dont do that either. As men, we are
a collection of noises, smells and itches. You
can revert to that state once youre married.
I did, which possibly explains the three exwives. She will put in an effort to attract you,
so return the courtesy.
The hard truth about asking girls out is
that you are going to get turned down more
often than not. Dont take it so personally. Most
women are very polite and try not to hurt a mans
feeling(s) when they turn him down. I know that
its nerve-wracking to ask a woman out, but the
alternative is to become a creepy recluse.
The best advice is to simply get to know
women. Be interested in who they are and
what they have to say. Just follow that simple
tactic and you will find you can date almost
any girl you want.
Except for my daughter.

5). If you call her

and asked that I call her

and she doesnt answer,

in a couple of days.

leave it at that. Dont

months until she moved

keep calling her every

away. Some of those

15 minutes. That will

How many of you have had a friend tell you, who saw us together
Shes out of your league, Dude? The next time likely thought she was
any your friends say that, look to see if they out my league.
But there are no
have any girlfriends. Ill wager they dont. That

make anyone want to

statement is actually a code for I dont want you such things as leagues.
to have a girlfriend because Im bitter and sad. No girl is too good for
The whole concept of dating leagues you to ask out on a date.

is bunk. Only sports have leagues. Payton

Manning is out of my league. This is because
he is possibly the greatest quarterback who
has ever played in the National Football
League. While I, on the other hand, am aged,
slow and complain a lot about my feet hurting.
Heed this, because it is valuable advice:
Women are not leagues. They are people.
Hell, if women were leagues I would have
never married even one of my three wives.
Let me tell you a story.
On a Valentines evening so very many
years ago, I met a girl on an elevator.
I was bored and went into a hotel (whose
name I wont mention). My fascination with
this particular hotel was that it sported a lavish
presidential suite that took up the entire top floor.
6

Show Tact

the hotel personnel wouldnt let me ride (the love to see pictures of a womans nakedness.

We dated for three

There are No Such Things

as Leagues

with Ed Farberer

crawl out of their skin.

6).
Im what you call, endowed.

Except for my daughter.

Dont be Creepy
This should really be the most obvious tip, but it is

If

shes

not

ready for a commitment,

threatening suicide will
not change her mind.

7). Just because she smiles at you,

doesnt mean youre in a relationship.
Dont create a relationship that is not
actually there.
Remember

when

you

were

in

sadly the sticking point for so many young men.

elementary school and the kids had to get

The good news is that not being creepy is easy:

Valentines cards for everyone in the class

1). Look but dont stare. There is a so no one would feel left out? Remember
difference: Looking is what we do when when you would look repeatedly at the
something interesting moves past our field of card you received from the girl you liked
vision. Staring is what a lion does before it in the hope that there was some secret
kills a gazelle. A lion preparing for the kill has

message that professed her love? (ie;

the same facial expression as men looking

What did she really mean with the card

at strippers. If youve ever seen that gape- that read, My Spidey senses say youre
mouthed leer, it will make you despair for the my Valentines). This is no different than
male condition.

thinking a girl likes you just because she

2). Dont tell women how big you smiled and said Hi, except now youre
are. As well, dont send women photos your an adult and should know better.

AD SALES 830.358.2493

AROUND&ABOUT
presents the Annual

Chili CooK-Off
Saturday, February 21

Cooking begins at 10am, judging at 3pm. Live music!

THE MONTY "GUITAR" TYLER BAND @ 1

THE MIGHTY ORQ @ 6

All-Access Tasting Passes

are Just $5!
All proceeds benefit the Keith Pevoto Fight Fund.
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045

omalovesyou.com

"Joe Dirt" meets "A Little Night

Music" in the Circle Arts Theater
production of "The Great American
Trailer Park Musical", which opened
last week. Get yourself over there
and see the show - but leave the kids
at home for this one, because the
hijinks at the Armadillo Acres Trailer
Park are decidedly adult in nature!
This hilarious musical runs through
March 1. For more information, call
the box office at 830-837-6172. PBR
available at the snack bar.

Sponsered by

TXCITIZEN.COM

UID
G
C
I
S
U
EM

V
YOUR LI
Thu 2.12

Fri 2.13

Adobe Verde

Adobe Verde

Josh Holden
6pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Jam Night

Jonathan Garcia
6:30pm

Black Whale Pub

Court Nance
8pm

6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Doug Kent
5pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Gruene Hall
Chubby Checker & the Wildcats
w/ The Peterson Brothers
7pm, $35

The Pour Haus

Cody Coggins
8pm

Rileys Tavern
Robert Banta
9pm

The Happy Cow

Slim Bawb
8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Alpine Haus Restaurant

Off the Grid Polka Band

Kenndred Spirits

6pm

8:30pm

Billys Ice House

Wes Nickson
8pm

Geronimo VFW #8456

Michael McMullen (Elvis Impersonator)
7pm, $10

Gruene Hall

Hipsonic

William Clark Green

6:30pm

w/ Blue Water Highway

Phoenix Saloon
Broseph
5pm
Mayeux & Broussard
w/ Kathryn Legendre
9pm

Watering Hole Saloon

TBA

8pm, $12

The Pour Haus

Flywood
8:30pm

Rileys Tavern
The Freightshakers
9pm

8pm

AJs Ale House

Vino en Verde

Vineyard at Gruene

Sat 2.14
Adobe Verde
JJ Garrett Band
6:30pm

Black Whale Pub

Daniel Thomas Phipps
9pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Pardo & Reed
1pm
Cold Snap!
6pm

Phoenix Saloon
Blue Water Highway
9pm

AJs Ale House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show
9pm

Billys Ice House

Rock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show

Jacob Clark

Mark McKinney

9pm

7pm

8pm

AD SALES 830.358.2493

Gruene Hall

The Pour Haus

Billys Ice House

Sol Patch

Porter Robinson & Strange Bacon

Aaron Stephens

1pm

8pm

8pm

Shinyribs

Mon 2.16

w/ The Os
8pm, $15

Gruene Hall

NB Farm to Market

Bret Graham

Ashlee Rose

6pm

9am

The Pour Haus

The Pour Haus

Michael Kelton

Jeremy Steding

8pm

9:30pm

Rileys Tavern

Rileys Tavern
Billy Bacon & the Forbidden Pigs

Nigel Egg
9pm

9pm

Vineyard at Gruene

Tues 2.17

Sarah McSweeny

Watering Hole Saloon

3pm
The Hip Replacements

TBA

7pm

8:30pm

Vino en Verde

Billys Ice House

The Vagabonds

Kevin Galloway

8:30pm

8pm

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

Kim & Her Bad Habits

Rileys Tavern
Mike Ethan Messick
9pm

Vineyard at Gruene
Zack Walther

Billys Ice House

Slim Bawb

Austin Meade

Geronimo VFW #8456

8pm

Wed 2.18
Phoenix Saloon

The Tejas Brothers

Swing Dance Night

4pm

8pm

SATURDAY
SUNDAY

Kick back @ The Pear

MONDAY

Free Darts & Pool

TUESDAY
Hump Day @ The Pear!

GET YOUR
MUSIC ON
Adobe Verde

Black Whale Pub

THURSDAY
It's Another Karaoke Thursday!
Johnny V!!

1051 N. IH-35
Like us!
In The Ramada 830-625-8017

Best Damn Lunch Special

in New Braunfels!

367 Main Plaza

12-4 Monday-Friday
$6.99 Lunch Specials

830.625.6605

Specials Include Drink and Side

The Happy Cow

Live Trivia

9103 FM 1102

Tuesdays 7:30 - 9:30

512.667.7510

50 Cent Wing

Oma Gruenes Secret Garten

1263 Gruene Rd
830.625.1045

The Pour Haus

Open Mic w/ Jon Magill

FRIDAY

DJKC at the Helm!

WEDNESDAY

6pm

7pm

SINCE
1979

Party with JJ Garrett Band!

6pm

830.629.0777

Gruene Hall

LOUNGE

Come Karaoke with Johnny V!!

6pm

7pm

12pm

8pm

w/ Sam Harriss

Chuck Reininger

True Audio Outland

The Bellfuries

Whiskey Rodeo

1724 Hunter Rd

Priscilla Speed, Arnold Parker,

3pm

Gruene Hall

The Pour Haus

KC Hall

Adam Johnson

PRICKLY

Johnny V's Karaoke Magic!

6pm

Comal Country Music Show

Phoenix Saloon

PRICKLY PEAR

THURSDAY

The Georges

Smooth Jazz

6pm

2pm

3pm

Gruene Hall

Bonzai Steak & Sushi

Sun 2.15

Weldon Henson

KEEPIN' IT

Phoenix Saloon
193 W San Antonio St
830.643.1400

Watering Hole Saloon

1390 McQueeney Rd
830.625.0045

Wednesdays

Fat Tuesday Party!

$2 Bud light Pints
& DRINK SPECIALS

February 17

830.620.9091 www.scoresnb.com
223 W San Antonio St, Downtown New Braunfels

S O U N D C H E C K B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y:

TXCITIZEN.COM

SOUND TOWN
OUT
OF

Fri 2.13
Cheatham Street Warehouse

diversions

Sat 2.14

Freiheit Country Store

Cheatham Street Warehouse

Cody Canada

Stewart Mann & Statesboro Review

Karaoke

w/ Kevin Welch

9pm

Friday Nights, 8pm

9pm

The Continental Club

The Continental Club

Happy Cow

Club Lineup:

Club Lineup:

Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm

The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm

Special Events Monthly

Karaoke

White Ghost Shivers

The Yawpers

Private Parties- Catering

w/ McMercy Family Band

Thursdays Nights

w/ The Blasters
10pm, $15
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Cowboys Dancehall

10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Hillary York, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5

Cowboys Dancehall

Aaron Watson

Stoney LaRue

7pm, 21+ $15, 18+ $25

7pm, 21+ $15, 18+ $25

Floores Country Store

Floores Country Store

Mario Flores

Whiskey Myers

w/ Jamie Richards

w/ Jake Ward

7pm, 18+, $8

Luckenbach Dance Hall

Hayden Whittington
4pm
Dale Watson
7pm, $15

Red Eyed Fly

TBA
8pm, Outside

Sams Burger Joint

Tontons
Wild Moccasins
8pm, $12-$40

Stubbs BBQ
Lotusw/ Kung Fu
7pm, Outside, $25

7pm, $12-$15

Luckenbach Dance Hall

Jimmy Lee Jones
1pm
Asleep at the Wheel
7pm, $20

Red Eyed Fly

TBA
9pm, Outside

Sams Burger Joint

Amanda Shires
w/ Jamie Wilson
8pm, $10-$40

Stubbs BBQ

Holding Space

Bone, Fur & Feathers

9pm, Inside, $6

9pm, Inside, $10

10

Wedding Facilities Available

Never a Cover!
Kid & Pet Friendly!
1263 Gruene Road 830.625.1045
Call for Hours!

omalovesyou.com
BEST
OF THE
WURST

2014

double winner!

Best Beer Bar

& Best Bartenders

Upcoming Events:
FEB 12
@ 6 JAM NIGHT

FEB 13
@ 6:30 HIPSONIC

FEB 14
@ 1 PARDO AND REED
@ 6 COLD SNAP!

FEB 15
@ 2 KIM AND HER BAD HABITS

FEB 19
@ 6 JAM NIGHT

FEB 20
@ 7 BARE FAX

Old Ice House

Karaoke
Thursdays, Sundays

DJ
Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays

Phoenix Saloon

Karaoke
Thursday Nights

Prickly Pear Lounge

Karaoke
Thursdays, Saturdays

DJ KC
Fridays

The Watering Hole Saloon

Karaoke
Thursdays

DJ
Fridays, Saturdays

AD SALES 830.358.2493

ITS DANG NEAR TIME AGAIN!

VOTING BEGINS

NEXT WEEK!
TXCITIZEN.COM

11

MOST WANTED
ALEMAN,
ARTURO JR

Male 505 180 lbs

DOB: 01/02/1954
CHARGE: Motion to
revoke probationdriving while
intoxicated 3rd or
more

BAIER,
MEDELLIN, JESSE
RODRIGUEZ
ADAM
SAMUEL

MARTINEZ,
MANUEL

Male 509 198 lbs

DOB: 03/09/1973
CHARGE: Failure to
appear- driving while
intoxicated 3rd or
more

ASK A MEXICAN!
By Gustavo Arellano that culture even though Im Mexican

myself but you Mexicans call me a

Dear Mexican: Can you please whitewashed Mexican so I dont think I
explain to me the basis as to why some will have the questions that I will need
Chicanos and mexicanos get offended so anyways what good questions should
when you speak to them in Spanish? As I ask when I do my interview report
a fellow Chicano, I find it hard to believe about Mexican culture or anything
that raza gets offended by this genuine about the Mexican things?
approach to them.

ROGERS,
JENNIFER LEE

yourself? That little dirty look that

Male 507
Male
506 200
150lbs
lbs
DOB: 01/01/1976
Female 505 110 lbs
DOB:
12/04/1971
CHARGE: Possession
DOB: 03/27/1967
CHARGE:
Violation
of a controlled
of
conditions
substance
pg of
1 under
CHARGE: Failure to
1 gram and theft of
probationappear- possession of
property under
possession
of a$1500
with 2 or more
controlled
substance a controlled substance
previous convictions

CLOUGH,
RONNIE DEAN

TURNER,
AARON LEE

If the Reconquista was to ever be

Male 508 130 lbs

DOB: 07/20/1966
CHARGE: Failure to
appear- forgery
financial instrument

Chicanos, and non-Spanish-speaking

GUERRERO,
JAIME
Male 507 130 lbs
DOB: 10/04/1971
CHARGE: Failure to
appear- driving while
intoxicated 3rd or
more

Run Ronaldo Run

Have you noticed this behavior

comes from when you say Hola to

Male 506 182 lbs

DOB: 12/31/1960
CHARGE: Failure
to appear for
aggravated assault
with deadly weapon
and bail jumping/ fail
to appear felony

them makes it hard to even approach.

Is this pattern more deeply rooted
in the times where speaking Spanish
was shameful act in the U.S.? And to
be accepted, many Chicanos were
prohibited from speaking Spanish?
fulfilled, how would Spanish-speaking

Dear Wab: Asking the Mexican about

questions to ask Mexicans about Mexicans?
How meta! The only real pregunta I have for
my raza that I dont have an answer for is why
more of you didnt buy my Taco USA: How
Mexican Food Conquered America, or how
come someone hasnt started a torta chain
thatll turn Chipotle into the next Chi-Chis.
CONFIDENTIAL

TO:

Know

Nothings

Chicanos get along?

who are trying to blame the recent measles

Habla Henry

outbreak on Mexicansit aint happening.

Vaccination studies show that Mexicans are

Dear Henry is Speaking: As if Mexicans

among the most vaccinated people in the

dont have it hard enoughnarcos back United States, whether getting shots here as

WALLACE,
KIMBERLIE
LOFTUS
Female 509 155 lbs
DOB: 07/11/1975
CHARGE: Failure to
appear- possession of
a controlled substance

home, Know Nothings in the States, and a chicos or those crazy needles that our parents
Mexican soccer team that probably wont win and cousins had to undergo back in Mexico
the FIFA World Cup in our lifetimecomes

that left a giant mark on their arms that looks

this conundrum. I get the underlying anger of

like a Neolithic-era ceremonial scarring.

Chicanos and Mexicans who dont want to

The least vaccinated people in los

speak Spanishtheyre upset you dont think Estados

Unidos,

on

the

other

hand,

theyre smart enough to understand English, or

are gabachos: Amish, survivalists, and

are so ashamed of not knowing Spanish that

suburban moms who lunch on kale. The

WOODS,
MICHAEL

they take it out on you. But the flip side to that

myth of Mexicans bringing pandemics to

Male 601 180 lbs

Male 601 230 lbs
DOB: 01/26/1965
DOB: 11/20/1977
CHARGE: Possession
CHARGE: Two counts
with intent to deliver a
of possession with
controlled substance
intent to deliver

them in Englishas if youre supposed to

tries to use again and again to further

know they dont speak it!

their career, but the last guy who tried it?

HUBBARD,
CHRISTOPHER
JERROD

$300
REWARD

is Mexicans who get enojados if you address kill off gabachos is a tool that the Right

Cant paisas and pochos get along? Former CNN host Lou Dobbs? Remember
And the answer is of course, no. Thats

him? Hes competing against a UHF signal

why the Mexican always greets everyone,

nowadays, and that destiny will happen to

regardless of linguistic ability, with a all conspiracy-spewing gabachos like him

FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL

COUNTYS MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous.

830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm

The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true
and accurate account as of Monday, February 2, 2015 at 10:37 am and may not be current by the time it is
read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County
Sheriffs Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant
prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.

12

COMAL COUNTYS

mariachi cry, the universal language of

oh, and beautiful half-Mexican grandkids.

chingones, and goes from there.

Dear Mexican: I have to do an

interview report on Mexican culture
and I need to interview a person thats
from Mexico but I dont know about

Ask the Mexican at

themexican@askamexican.net,
be his fan on Facebook, follow him on
Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him
on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!
AD SALES 830.358.2493

Tickets go on sale
February 15 at Alpha Crossfit

Est. 1986
Dust off your dancing shoes and head
over to NBs largest dance floor.

1153 N. Academy Ave

Karaoke Every
Thursday @ 8:30pm

FREE
Country Swing
Dance Lessons

Whitley Reddell's
Total Landscape
Maintenance

Brazenly Sponsored by

Every Friday @ 7pm

in February!
DJ Dance Every
Saturday @ 9pm

Autograph Session
Following the Show!

Former WWE Superstar Jinder Mahal VS King Oso

Tues, Feb 24, 8:30-11:30

Empty-Handed Vagabonds
1390 McQueeney Rd, New Braunfels
830-625-0045 or wateringholesaloon.com
Like us on FB Watering Hole Saloon & Dancehall

Doors Open at 4:30 Bell Time 5pm Adults: $8 Kids: $5

Get Trimmed

Call 83O.6O9.7552
Complete Lawn Care
Landscape Installs & Overhauls
Tree and Shrub Trimming

USE PROMO CODE

TXC

FOR UP TO $200
IN BONUS CASH!
SIGN UP NOW.
FANDUEL.COM

TXCITIZEN.COM

13

oo

2014 SEAS
ON
FINAL
R E S U LT S !

Leagues:
First Place: The Prickly Pear 53%

PRICKLY PEAR

CONGRATULATIONS
TO OUR 2 015 CHAMPION

LOUNGE

TATUM DELEON!

This a
Fanta int no
sy lea
gue!

Second Place: The Watering Hole 52%

Third Place: The Happy Cow 51%
Fourth Place: Buffalo Wings and Rings 49%
Fifth Place: Scores - 48%

14

TX CITIZEN
AD SALES 830.358.2493

Last Word
With Kelly Colby

On Climate Change. Again.

average temperature is in the first place. These

Explanations like the one I offered above

I thought I had said everything that I was going

charts are the ones that show the most extreme

were posited, but none of them appeared

to about climate change quite some time ago. warming trends (about 2 degrees Fahrenheit).
A careful look at these charts of recorded
In part this was because I felt that there was

to have actually been true for the stations

no hope of changing minds on the subject. I

temperature data will reveal that there is a

inaccurate with regard to future temperature,

the idea of anthropomorphic global warming

degree Celsius is not uncommon (about .3 altering data, but when all alterations seem
degrees Fahrenheit). Now, ask yourself if you to be made in the direction of showing more

(AGW) would go the way of the 70s big

truly believe that temperature records can

warming in recent years, I get suspicious.

freeze media fuss. Everything seemed to be

be said to be accurate to 1/3 of a degree

I think its fair to expect some explanation

in question. This has been compounded by

accusations that similar adjustments have

expected that time would sort things out; as margin for error in the numbers. Ive seen been made to much of the arctic data.
Again, there are legitimate reasons for
climate models became increasingly more the numbers for this vary, but a +/- of a

proceeding as expected. When 2014 was prior to electronic measurements? That of how and why the data was altered.
declared the warmest year on record, it was seems a little optimistic to me. The idea that Checking the numbers seems an appropriate
almost immediately met with the explanation this should further translate to speculated precaution in this case.
that this was only true if you ignored the temperatures (guesses) makes my BS meter
margin of error, allowing you to have a buzz continuously and loudly.

What I offer in this article are reasons to

margin of error was figured in it became clear

that there hasnt been any warming at all for

from a variety of sources, but I trust none of

over a decade now. Most recently, though,

it has come to my attention that some of my

to represent something substantially out of line

less statist friends also believe in the climate attached to the side of his barn as he rushes
for an interglacial period in Earths history.
change claptrap, so perhaps propaganda to get in out of the winter wind. Worse, I was
Lastly, the question of just how damaging this
must perpetually be opposed, if only to protect always taught that any set of data is only as
good as the least reliable of the measurements. warming is should be examined if you can
the integrity of science.
accept all the rest.
Lets start with the basics; Im a denier. After all, if I did some of the measurements
These are the areas that I will need to
Thats right, you heard me. Im a climate for the construction of your house with a laser
be convinced on before I am even willing
denier! What that means, apparently, is that I measuring tool and others with an 11 foot
to entertain a discussion of what we should
dont believe we should destroy our economy piece of string I cut to size by eyeballing it
do to stop AGW, if anything. I find it very
combating a largely unproven threat. That with a ruler, how comfortable would you feel
unlikely that I will be willing to accept that
said, I think its only fair to say that even the when it came time to get it inspected?
the only solution to the problem is to give
Most recently, all of this has been
idea that the planet is currently warming (to
governments even more authoritarian control
any significant degree) is one I find, thus far, compounded by information indicating that
over economics. My primary philosophy
unproven. I recognize that this puts me in the those aggregating and interpreting the climate
remains libertarian, and whether AGW exists
minority, and Im ok with that. I would hardly record may be as prone to exaggeration as
or not isnt going to change that.
deride someone who believes otherwise, even Brian Williams after a few drinks.
Until that time, I will remain a denier,
if they wouldnt offer me the same courtesy.
There are legitimate reasons to change
and I will continue to invite others to join
But, I am unconvinced that we can make broad raw temperature data. Locations of stations
me. I dont want people to refuse to accept
reaching claims with less than 200 years of change over time, and this could change
evidence, but I do want them to inspect it. An
even remotely accurate data.
the results in a more-or-less predictable way.
important part of scientific thinking is carefully
One of the reasons that you will see Likewise temperature measurements might be
examining data with a skeptical eye. Even in
some charts of temperature data go back taken at different times, and this would require
areas where the data is perfectly trustworthy,
only to 1850 is that this is about as far some level of adjustment. All these things can
I never accept someones conclusions based
back as one can go with actual temperature be done using other readings (again there is
on that data without question. Doing so is
readings. Even back to this point, historic likely a substantial error rate), but that requires
just being a good consumer of information.
temperature records are notoriously spotty that the person making the adjustments is
Theres a distinct difference between believing
and focused in the Northern Hemisphere. doing so in a fair way.
in science and being a fool.
Creating a global average temperature is a
Initially, some results from South America
colossal feat of speculation and statistical were called into question when logical

TXCITIZEN.COM

winner!

Best Bloody Mary!

100%
SMOKE-FREE
Local Brews
Belgian Beers
Imports
24 Beers on Tap
Full Bar
Live Entertainment
30+ TVs

AGW to accept, and Im just not convinced.

them so much as I would trust a farmer from If you are convinced, I ask if you are likewise
1855 checking an alcohol based thermometer convinced that the warming trend can be said

probabilities. It requires filling in missing reasons for changes in data for several
data and making assumptions about what an stations in a region were not forthcoming.

2014

be skeptical of even the notion that the earth

Data before actual temperature readings has been warming perceptibly. This is probably
is even worse. This information is extrapolated the easiest claim made by proponents of

certainty in the 30 percent range. When the

BEST
OF THE
WURST

You can read more from Kelly Colby at yourfirstshrug.

blogspot.com.

367 Main Plaza

830-625-6605

You're
Overpaying
for
Insurance
Call Now and Save!

Auto - Home - Business

Bonnie Rickaway - Agent

830-822-2778

www.brauntexinsurance.com
15

Call our AWARD WINNING TEAM! 830.620.7653

DLeeEdwardsRealty.com 1111 N. Walnut Ave. New Braunfels, TX 78130

15% Off

any purchase of $50 or more

New and Vintage Vinyl

and Turntables

Classic Rock Alternative Punk

Reggae - Funk Soul Country

Clean Machines
Carpet Cleaning

Any 3 Rooms

$69

PHOTOGRAPHER

New, 2015 prints debut

on Saturday, February 21,
at Oma Gruene's
Annual Chili Cook-Off!

BUY SELL TR ADE

173 S. Seguin St 830.214.0728

BRING IN THIS AD AND

YOUR FIRST TREATMENT IS

243 N. Union Ave

830-629-2662 Like us on

Call Garrett Matocha

at 830.660.4772

Half-Off One Entree

with purchase of another entree and two drinks.

One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 02/28/15

A $30 Value. New Patients Only. Cannot Be Combined

With Other Offers. Offer Expires February 28, 2015

Huge Play Area for the Kids Live Music Thursday-Sunday

Happy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
BEST
OF THE
WURST

2014

(830) 822-6315

comalspringsca.com

winner!

Best Signature
Cocktail Dos Rita

TEX-MEX COCINA Y CANTINA

830.629.0777 1724 Hunter Road, New Braunfels

210.421.2344

scottpwalkerphotographer.com

"Bringing personalized service back to pharmacy."

We are proud to offer:
Prescription Services, Compounding,
OTC Medication & Durable Medical Equipment

You pay the same copay and get more value!

910 Gruene Rd. #3
830.387.4378
grueneroadpharmacy.com

N
UE

RD

GR

/GrueneRoadPharmacy

AN

RD

337

ON

46

OM

ST