Relationships - Stories

Title

Getting back in the game

Short title

Single dads dating tips

Sub title It may seem quite normal for men of a certain age to let go of
the thought that they may find love again. No matter how traditional
your thoughts may be, you have to agree if nothing else, if you are a
single dad, your children need another pillar of support.
Tags

Relationships, clubm, single, dating

By Arundhati Bhardwaj
It may seem quite normal for men of a certain age to let go of the
thought that they may find love again. A tipping point may come in life
when you may prioritise other things over your love life, leaving you
lonely and hollow inside. No matter how traditional your thoughts may be,
you have to agree if nothing else, if you are a single dad, your
children need another pillar of support, apart from you and you cannot
keep turning to your family every time. Being independent in situations
such as these is most important.
Dating was hard enough when it was about two young, single and carefree
people and now that the equations have more variables, it seems quite
impossible to find a mate for life. If you think you can take out time
from the paperwork at office, then potty training and disciplining at
home stops you from exploring familiar territories of courtship.
If you think you are ready to get back on the saddle, we have come up
with a few tips that can help you gain the confidence to do so.
Are we there yet?
The first step to start dating is realising the fact that you are ready
to start a new chapter in life. And to do so, you have to move on from
the past. No matter what has happened, you have let go of any guilt
holding you back. Looking after the little ones is the most important job
in your life. However, taking care of yourself is a priority as well.
Make sure you are comfortable with starting to look for relationships and
it is a two way street Enter only if you are sure that you are
interested.
How to meet?
Surprisingly, there are many groups for single parents in Indian metros
springing up now. All you have to do is make the effort to find one and
join. The groups help you recuperate and let your feelings out.
Additionally, it's a great way to make new friends for support and
finding companionship.
There are many advantages when it comes to asking your friends and family
in these circumstances. Since they know and care about you, they would
make an informed effort in finding someone special for you.
Online?
Never shy away from technology, go online and look for like-minded
people. There's no awkwardness or downside to looking for a friend
online. Many relationships, strong and fulfilling, have formed through
the internet. Facebook , Bharat Matrimony,Shaadi.com, etc, are not any
less helpful than personal interactions.
Listen to your kids
The most important successor of the dating process is knowing that your
kids are fine with all the changes that are happening and going to happen
in the near future. You have to honour their thoughts and decisions in
this case, since you are now responsible for their lives and your own.
Different problems develop with different age groups, so always be
patient with your children and try being as honest as you can about your

decision to move onto another relationship.

Commitment is key
Since you are taking life altering decisions, it's best not to be
carefree about the relationships you enter. Try taking on relationships
that build on to a committed and progressive relation. Dont be scared or
lazy to just have a casual affair before you are ready to be serious.
Trial and error is the key to success.
Date it out
Prioritising all that is happening can be really daunting in this
situation. You have to make sure that all the aspects of your life get
equal attention, including yourself. Hence take a look into all the pros
and cons of the relationship you are starting and make sure you have
made the right decisions.
Keeping in mind that it's one important part of your life, dating the
person before getting serious is a good method. Take a look at our first
date tips to get back on the wagon.
Make sure you have left time or yourself
of the dating arena, you have to be sure
Each time you take a step towards having
different kind of adventure, so sit back

and apart from the hustle bustle

to enjoy the whole experience.
a new life you open a door to a
and enjoy the ride.

BOLD COLOURS FOR MEN

Get out of grays this season, and dabble in bolder colours of winter and
spring, this new year has changed winters from a drab and colourless
palette to splashes of reds, yellows and blues, which gives the question,
How do I get out of monotony? a new meaning. Office-wear, or even
casuals do not have to stay neutral; you can experiment with slight hints
of colour or even colour-blocking, to make a statement.
So jump on to the trend wagon and be bold enough to champion these
colours in your appearance, though we stress on the point that you
balance your outfit the right way and not go overboard.
End of the sartorial bluesThe excuse, I can't find colour in the men's section, should be
considered void now as all major brands and designers have come out with
vivid designs and ensembles, be it the bright orange jacket by Virtues or
the blue trousers by Jenjum Gadi, or even the full green look by Gucci. A
modest display of colour is seen everywhere. So get out and brighten up
your wardrobe, maybe with a pair of black trousers, grey sweater and a
prominent red waistcoat, or simply put on a pair of coloured shoes, with
a neutral shirt and trousers combo.
RULE#1: Complimentary coloursChoosing the right colour for yourself is a must-know. While the colours
in trend are shades of blue, green, orange, red and neutrals, you have to
make sure the clothes you buy are not just to add tints in your greying
cupboard, but also to compliment your complexion and body type. The
unquestionable fact remains Not everyone can pull-off an Orange or a
Gray Jade.
RULE#2: ComplexionIf you want to play it safe, you can always adorn a combination of khaki
and navy blue.
A dark complexion should be endowed with white, red, grays, blues,
neutrals, khaki and even yellows while absolutely avoiding greens and
darker browns.
A medium toned skin can pull off black, pink, burgundy, royal blue and
navy blue, staying away from the light earthy tones as they can blend
with the skin colour.
Off-white, light blue, brown, bold blue, baby pink and beige go well with
fair skin, pastels and other subdued colours look best. Avoiding colours
which will contrast too severely with light skin like purple, red, orange
or yellow is a must.
RULE#3: How much is too muchA balance in the apparel palette has to be made, ensuring the mix and
match doesn't go overboard. Too many colours in one combination is a
strict no.
More than two different colours might make you look blithe, stick to
complementary colours, while sharp contrasts though, a bold move, can be
highly risky if not put-together correctly.
Contrasts like a blue shirt and red trousers, can be controlled by
combining them with a beige or khaki jacket, a burgundy vest and a

sunshine yellow jacket can sobered down with a pair of black trousers and
shoes and a navy blue shirt, otherwise a pink shirt, with blue jeans can
be paired with a grey jacket. Experimentation is key.
RULE#4: AccessorizeMake a statement with a pair of colour-rimmed sunglasses and a neutral
shirt, or a pair of blue oxfords and a similar tint pocket square with a
grey trimmed suit, in case you are not comfortable with accessories. Turn
heads with a dark green leather bag with a black silk suit.
You could also make a bold move by matching the colours of your glasses
and shoes, while your clothes remain neutral.
Re-vamp your personal style by risking a few moves.
RULE#6: Go ethnicDo not limit yourself with western wear as colours are achievable in the
traditional attire too. A beige kurta with red pajamas or trousers, to an
evening get together, or a black Nehru jacket, yellow silk Jodhpuris and
a pocket square at a cocktail event can put you right in the spotlight.
Rewind back to the basics, with a pair of khaki wool pajamas and a blue
kurta with a navy blue felt jacket to mix it up for a stroll in the
winters. A little creativity can go a long way in style.
Branded in colourThe Indian ramps are flowing with exciting colours amid the new
collections by Manish Malhotra, Jenjum Gadi, Abhishek Dutta, Pia Pauro,
Wendell Rodericks, Virtues and others, while brands like Paul Smith,
Gucci, Salvatore Ferragamo, Canali, Hermes, Hugo BOSS, J.Crew, Louis
Vuitton, and Marc Jacobs, and many more have brightened the gloomy
winters with their intense colour combinations.
Spiff-up your closet by visiting them at their stores or online.

Let's bring sexy back - Chapter #2

Beard beard.
In the last article we had discussed the appealing qualities of the upper
lip fuzz. Let's jump back on the fur wagon and take a look at beards.
With 'Movember' out with a blast, last season, fur-scaping is now running
with the likes of gymming, clothing, accessorising, for an appealing
overall personality makeover. A beard can enhance or impair your look
within the first glance. Facial hair is the best way to give a notable
first impression, make a dent on others' minds by sporting the balbo
style or turn heads with a sultry stubble.
Trim it down.
A trim once in a while will never hurt your sex appeal. There is a lot to
choose from, when you want to change from clean shaven to a testosterone
filled character. The same face structure can carry off many different
beard styles, some in-trend ones being the full beard, stubble, and the
short goatee.
What to wear?
The latest trend is to just keep a light stubble on the face, otherwise,
if you can handle it, always try to take a bigger risk with your face
furniture.
Balbo (Mo-beard)
A wide beard that covers the chin, as well as a small area beyond it;
Accompanied by a separated mustache. This rampant, old England beard,
just grown enough for a lady to run her hands through, makes for an
obvious choice to show what an uproar you are. See Eric Dane for
reference, as he struts his charming and elegant self on the red carpet.
Try this beard with long tied back hair or sleek combed back hair.
Circle beard (French beard)
A chin beard and mustache connected by hair along the sides of one's
mouth, thus, forming a circle. If you are inclined to making people
underestimate your sex appeal, a subtle yet powerful trimmed goatee is
one good option. This humble, manicured and discreet beard, commands
attention and how! Take a look at the charming Blair Underwood and his
impeccable taste in beards. There is no denying that a goatee can go
horribly wrong if not groomed right (Brad Pitt's hit and miss defeat by
the hippie look and haphazard goatee).
Full beard
A beard covering the lower part of the face You want to be the manly
lumberjack from the high mountains of Minnesota or seem perceptive and
wise like Sigmund Freud go for the well trimmed full beard. Look at the
rakishly handsome George Clooney, and his classic peppery beard, or Jake
Gyllenhaal maturing into the handsome man that he is, with his
impressively groomed fuzz that he started growing for his Broadway debut
'If There Is I Havent Found It Yet'. This enigmatic, raw look can make
any girl swoon.
Heavy stubble (5 o'clock shadow)
Very short hair of only one or a few days growth. Can be worn all over

the face, it can be shaped and maintained by using a beard trimmer.

Though many guys would not count this as a beard, it is quite popular
with the ladies, keeping an effortlessly untrimmed look, just adheres to
the opposite sex's inner conscious to be a woman in distress. Also, a
heavy stubble squares out your chin, that is, with a strong, full
stubble, you also get a case of 'strong manly jawline'. This look is for
all the men having problems with heavy beards and also the ones who
suffer from pure laziness in the morning. If still not convinced take a
look at the numerous celebrities on the red carpet sporting the same,
like Jason Statham, Liam Hemsworth, even our own Hrithik Roshan. Best for
a square face or a rectangular/oblong face.
Beard it out.
A little risk in the stubble area can be spot on but when it comes to
full beards or french beards, there are some boundaries which shouldn't
be crossed, lest your motive is to look like a porn star, or a Halloween
act. Dont be afraid to change, however, there are some things you may
want to keep in mind.
Cast away
Do not, grow a hippie beard. This could be an order or simply a plea.
There is a reason why the hippie culture was in the seventies and not so
popular with everyone. These are the times for modern clean cuts, minimal
looks, there is no way off impressing some one with a disheveled, uneven
beard, which might raise questions of lice.
Eccentricity is best kept hidden
Gel is for the head hair, not any other place, try to keep the
experiments to a bare minimum when it comes to a respectable look, until
and unless, you really want to make heads with gawking eyes follow you
around.
Patches
Patchwork looks good on quilts, not beards. If you have irregular growth,
it's better to try the full beard, if you cannot achieve that, remain
clean shaven, there is no harm in doing away with the scrubs.
Blond babe
If you have light, wispy hair, it's best to do without a beard, or even a
mustache for that matter. You wouldn't want your facial hair blend in
with your face, and give an impression of just getting into college.
Again, clean shaven is always a better idea in this case.

Mix up your styles and don't over think the beard, keep it clean, trimmed
and groomed and you will be the dashing paramour that every woman craves
and every man envies.

Title Once upon a suit - Chapter #2

Short title Snug like a suit
Sub title Let's get onto some hands-on action by making your ordinary
suit fit to look like a million bucks.
In the last article we talked about the types of suits there could be and
the various cuts, etc. That, for many, could be just useless information.
Let us get onto some hands on action. Have you noticed the pulls and tugs
under your jacket seams. The sagging inner-seams in your pants. They are
all signs of ill fitted suits. They could make you look like The
Incredible Hulk ready to burst out of his human clothes or a puny
Lilliputian in massive awkward clothing. So, how do we make the ordinary
suit look like a million bucks? By having the perfect fit.
Let's start from the top
Shoulders
When you try on a jacket, you have to see that it really sits on your
shoulders. The shoulder pads should end right at your shoulders, while
the outermost part of your shoulders would fit exactly where the seam of
the suit ends. Make sure there are no creases and tugging at the back of
the jacket, indicating it to be too tight. If the jacket is too big, the
shoulder pads would tend to fall on the sides. When buying a suit try
going down a size to ensure a snug fit.
Arm-holes
Make sure the armholes are correctly aligned with your shoulders. If they
are too low, the whole jacket will shift up as you move around your arms.
Chest
Avoid the boxy silhouette, with darts right at the waist, giving you a
more shapely form. The thinnest point on a jacket should be on the main
button, i.e., the topmost on a two-buttoned and the middle on a three
buttoned. The jacket should compliment the frame, not cut it into a
rectangle. Measurement is the key here.Your chest is the fullest part,
thus place the tape right under your arms for the best size. Always try a
jacket that's one size smaller for the best fit.
Buttons
If your buttons pull on the ends when the jacket is buttoned up, it's too
tight. Single-breasted remains the most popular shape. If youre slim, a
single button works best. If youre wearing a one-button jacket, fasten
the button.Two-button jackets should be worn with the top button
fastened. When wearing a three-button jacket, fasten the middle button.

Jacket length
With your arms on the side, curl your fingers up. The jacket's ends
should be in your hands. A suit jacket must cover most of your zipper and
all of the rear. Shorter jackets are a fashionable look at the moment.
However, if you have a larger frame, its best to stick to a longer
jacket to elongate your silhouette.

Sleeve
Your sleeve should stop just above the joint of your wrist, enabling you
to show a quarter-inch of the cuff. And if you want your suit to fit like
those of the magazine or catalog models, then you'll want to have the
sleeves tailored to proportionally fit your arms. Take the help of a
tailor for the same.
Trousers
Trouser width should be comfortable, especially around the thigh. There
should be zero tugging while walking and sitting down. To accentuate your
upper body, go for slim cut trousers also a great choice if youre
shorter.Your trousers should hang neatly and straight at the back with
the break over the shoe. The back should not be too floppy or too
defined... Either of the two giving the awkward plausibility of sloppy
measurements.

Title Getting your first tattoo? Read this.

Sub title Tattoo virgins' guide
Short title A tattoo is for life and instead of making a rash decision,
take a deep breath and look at a few tips, which could help you make a
better decision.
Once socially reserved for bikers, sailors, gangsters and pirates,
tattoos have become a fashion statement on the verge of becoming too
mainstream. The idea of telling your friends that you had the guts to
scar your body for the love of art is really appealing. However, have you
thought of how much work and research actually goes into a single tattoo?
A tattoo is for life and instead of making a rash decision, of writing
'Thug life' on your fingers, take a deep breath and a step back. Look at
a few suggested tips which could help you make a better decision.
Think of the design
What is most appreciated by the tattoo artist is you coming up with your
original designs, or at least a certain idea as to what design would be
engraved on your skin. Take a days, weeks, even months to research on
your likes and dislikes, your perception which is bound to change over
time. Don't shop drunk for tattoos. 'Yolo' thinking and a flask of whisky
never make for a good decision.
A meaningful tattoo will always be taken seriously. Develop a back story
for your tattoo. Take help from the internet and see what your design
really means. What with anybody getting butterfly or skulls made, be
original and stand out of the ink ridden crowd.
Draw it out
It is time to open the box of creativity. Sizing of your tattoo can vary
from what is on the screen of your computer and when it is on real skin.
The best way to tackle any unwanted surprises is to take a pencil and a
paper and excavate the hidden artistic skills. Add any small details you
need and be sure to check for shading and colouring (if any). Don't leave
everything for the tattoo artist, he has to keep track of making the
tattoo.
Location,location, location
The most important part of designing the tattoo - 'Where is it gonna be?'
If you think you cannot bear the pain, the last place for you to get a
tattoo done is on a bony area. Most common place for all are the limbs,
followed by the torso. Be on the safer side, if you aren't the risk
taking type (an oxymoron, in this situation) and go for a portion of your
limbs.
To the tattoo wizard
Did you know, there is not just the one tattoo artist down the street
from you? Refrain from being lazy while you attempt to make permanent art
and scout for different tattoo parlours. See their pricing differences
and, most importantly, look through their previous artwork. You don't
want a feeble hand working on your body. Keep a track of their equipment
(needles have to be sterilised and disposable). Take note of their
sanitation and look out for their safety and health procedures.

Expect the following in a good parlourThe autoclave is a steaming device used to sterilise the needles and
other equipment. Be sure to watch the whole procedure of cleansing the
equipment.
You will be given a release form stating that you want the tattoo made on
your body and any health risk is not the parlour's fault.
The tattoo artist will be a licensed practitioner (yes, tattoos have a
license too) with references.
Negotiate your price
Commonly any tattoo in India will start at Rs.1500 per square inch for a
black-and-white design and Rs. 2000 for coloured. The price will grow
with the time taken to finish the tattoo. Take an estimate from the
artist and figure out how much you are willing to pay. A good parlour
will charge you more since they take keen interest in finishing the
artwork to the last detail.
What to expect when you are expecting
A good parlour will ask you to come completely clean on the T-day. They
will make sure the area being poked and prodded be sterilised, the artist
will wear gloves while working on you. Every time you need to take a
break, the wound will be cleaned with sterile soap and water. Once
finished, the area will be wiped clean, spread with antiseptic cream and
bandaged for safety and yes, the whole process is going to hurt.
Depending on your ability to endure pain, you might feel slight tickles
or simply faint on the chair. Take a friend if you know you cannot do
this alone.
Post tat instructions
Avoid drinking on the day of the tattoo.
Keep the bandage on for at least a day.
Once you take the bandage off, wash the wound with sterile soap and
water.
Avoid using water on the area for at least a week.
If there are any signs of redness put a pack of ice on it.
Keep applying antiseptic cream or petroleum jelly.
Keep your tattoo away from the sunlight till it heals.
Keep using sunscreen and petroleum jelly on the tattoo even after it
heals.
Under no circumstances are you allowed to pick on the scabs!

Title Time to get the wedding bells tolling

Short title Pop the question
Sub title Get her heart to skip a beat by being the romantic hero from
her dreams. Take a little time out and make a big gesture for the big
question. See a few ways you could creatively propose to the special
someone.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, while a woman's is
through grand gestures. No matter what she says, she is a fool for all
the romantic sap out there. Be it the chick-flicks or the wedding she
surely must have planned in her head at least once in her life. If you
are thinking of proposing to her, it's time to show her that you can be
as romantic as the hero from her favourite movies. It's not just the
proposal that matters, it's the presentation. Make the day she would want
to remember, a day she would never forget. With the looming risk of
getting rejected, wear your bravura gloves and get onto making plans for
your D-day.
Old memories
Take her to the place you first met her.
Plus point She will adore the fact that you remembered. Guys are
stereotypically forgetful when it comes to remembering dates and places
concerned with relationships. So we guarantee you brownie points just for
recollecting the same.
Take out a day from your busy lives and say you want a break. If the
place is nearby, say you want a day out with her, otherwise take her on a
long sweet trip. Keep the place a secret, it will add to the fantasy
factor.
The special day
Ask her on her birthday or your first date anniversary.
Plus point Yet another way of getting her to believe that you remember
dates. Another advantage you now have two big milestones on the same
day, giving you the upper hand in celebrating the same later.
If it's her birthday, get a cake with icing formed as a proposal. You
could also try a banner to surprise her. Take her out for a candlelit
dinner or try the old surprise at home trick. This could be done in
private or with all your friends and family around. Make it as special as
it can get.
Record it
Make a video or a record a song for her
Plus point The efforts you put into the video will not go unnoticed. It
would be good if you know how to act or sing, even better if you don't.
Drop a few notes here or there, you will just grow more adorable in her

eyes.
Take the help of your friends or family members for this one. Be sure to
choose some one who can handle recording equipment and make a video worth
keeping. Try writing your own songs, if you aren't that talented you can
always try her favourite singer. You don't think you have it in you to
make a fool of yourself, just write a good speech and ask her the
question at the end of the video. Make it a surprise by uploading it on
Youtube and asking her to see a funny video you stumbled upon.

Picture perfect
Click different photographs for the big question
Plus point She will cherish the efforts you put in for a long time to
come. Photographs can be permanent and right on track with the digital
age. Getting your hands dirty with glue and scissors never gave such
rewards till now.
Click photos of different words that spell out the question, you can find
them on signages outside and send them to her on the phone one by one.
See the old Nokia ad for reference. Or simply make a scrapbook of the
time you have spent together with a page asking for her hand in marriage
at the end. A time capsule can also do the trick but it's risky. You have
to plan it well before the day you would ask her.
A friend in need
Get your friends and family involved
Plus point It will be more special if you have your loved ones around
you. She will be overwhelmed, no doubt, but this could go in the right
direction if you play your cards right. Special points for getting the
children to help you.
Get them to wear shirts with the letters that spell out 'will you marry
me' when they stand accordingly. See the movie Meet the Fockers for
reference. Get the kids to deliver her the ring. If you are confident
enough, get her to a surprise engagement party, which is actually meant
for her.
If you know you know you love her, you should not have any problems in
sweeping her off her feet. She would probably fall head over heels again
if you try to make the big day even bigger for her. Take on a few risks
and you might end up with a story to tell your grand kids.