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Limits (BDSM)

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In BDSM, limits refer to issues that participants in a play scene or dynamic feel strongly
about, usually referring to prohibited activities.
Participants typically negotiate an outline of what activities will and will not take place.
The participants outline what they desire or will not tolerate, including the determination of
limits. For example, it is common to set a safe word and to establish certain types of play as
prohibited.
The BDSM usage of the terminology "limits" derives from the concept of 'off limits', the
idea of limiting a scene to a specific set of activities, and the limitations (in terms of both
interest and tolerance) of the participants.

Contents
[hide]

1 Setting limits
o 1.1 "No limits"
2 Types of limits
o 2.1 Hard limit
o 2.2 Soft limit
o 2.3 Requirement limit
o 2.4 Time limit
3 See also
4 Further reading
5 External links

Setting limits[edit]
See also: Negotiation (BDSM)
Both dominants and submissives can set limits. Limits can be agreed to verbally or they can
be incorporated into a formal contract. Sometimes the participants engage in a formal
conversation about limits and boundaries called "negotiation". Other couples discuss their
likes and dislikes in a similar manner to 'vanilla' relationships.

"No limits"[edit]

Some partners choose not to set limits. This is commonly seen in total power exchange
dynamics, consensual non-consent, and edge play. Whether or not this type of arrangement
is considered "safe, sane, and consensual" is a matter of some controversy in BDSM
communities.

Types of limits[edit]
The terminology varies slightly across different local communities and Internet forums.
However, there are general usages recognized across most BDSM populations.

Hard limit[edit]
A hard limit is something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered
just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include scat is a hard limit
for me or I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit.

Soft limit[edit]
A soft limit is something that a person hesitates about or places strict conditions on, but for
which they will still give informed consent. An action could be prohibited except under
specific circumstances or an area of discomfort that someone wishes to avoid. Soft limits
can also be something that requires a cautious approach or while appealing, still generates
an uncomfortable amount of fear.

Requirement limit[edit]
A requirement limit, or must limit, is something that a person will not do the scene without.
Examples include lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me or If youre going to flog
me, Ill need lots of aftercare.

Time limit[edit]
A time limit is a set time period for which an activity or temporary relationship takes place.
This is most common for scenes and casual Play.
Some couples practice time limitations for relationships. They can be used to set time limits
on phases of relationships, such as training or consideration.

See also[edit]

Negotiation
Consent

Further reading[edit]

Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs. Different Loving: An


Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. New York: Villard
Books, 1993. ISBN 0-679-40873-8.
Philip Miller and Molly Devon, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The
Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism. Mystic Rose Books, 1995. ISBN
0-9645960-0-8.

External links[edit]

The Eulenspiegel Society


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This page was last modified on 30 October 2014, at 01:22.


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