Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
Self Awareness
One of the most important factors in building your self esteem and confidence is your self awareness. But
what exactly is it, why is it important and how can you become more self aware?
Being self aware knows:
There are other factors that could be added. The last one above has a direct relation to your sense of self
value and self esteem.
Why is self awareness important?
If you want to change your life in any way you need to know yourself before you can act. You need to know
what you need to do to head in the right direction and you can't do that until you know yourself.
In addition, being self aware will mean that you will be better able to choose a suitable career which will
satisfy you. Self awareness can enrich your life because you can then move closer to living your values and
realizing your dreams.
Becoming self aware does not mean being selfish though. Discovering the inner you will enable you to give
more of yourself to others and this will benefit your relationships as well as helping to build your self esteem
and confidence as you become truer to yourself.
Techniques of Self Awareness
The Johari Window, named after the first names of its inventors, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, is one of
the most useful models describing the process of self awareness and human interaction.
A four paned "window," as illustrated above, divides personal awareness into four different types, as
represented by its four quadrants: open, hidden, blind, and unknown. The lines dividing the four panes are
like window shades, which can move as an interaction progresses.
In this model, each person is represented by their own window. Let's describe mine:
1. The "open" quadrant represents things that both I know about myself, and that you know about me.
For example, I know my name, and so do you. The knowledge that the window represents, can
include not only factual information, but my feelings, motives, behaviors, wants, needs and desires...
indeed, any information describing who I am. When I first meet a new person, the size of the opening
of this first quadrant is not very large, since there has been little time to exchange information. As the
process of getting to know one another continues, the window shades move down or to the right,
placing more information into the open window, as described below.
2. The "blind" quadrant represents things that you know about me, but that I am unaware of. So, for
example, we could be eating at a restaurant, and I may have unknowingly gotten some food on my
face. This information is in my blind quadrant because you can see it, but I cannot. If you now tell me
that I have something on my face, then the window shade moves to the right, enlarging the open
quadrant's area. Now, I may also have blind spots with respect to many other much more complex
things. For example, perhaps in our ongoing conversation, you may notice that eye contact seems to
be lacking. You may not say anything, since you may not want to embarrass me, or you may draw
your own inferences that perhaps I am being insincere. Then the problem is, how can I get this
information out in the open, since it may be affecting the level of trust that is developing between us?
How can I learn more about myself? Unfortunately, there is no readily available answer. I may notice
a slight hesitation on your part, and perhaps this may lead to a question. But who knows if I will pick
this up, or if your answer will be on the mark.
3. The "hidden" quadrant represents things that I know about myself, that you do not know. So for
example, I have not told you, nor mentioned e.g., my favorite ice cream. This information is in my
"hidden" quadrant. As soon as I tell you that I love "Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia" flavored ice
cream, I am effectively pulling the window shade down, moving the information in my hidden
quadrant and enlarging the open quadrant's area. Again, there are vast amounts of information,
virtually my whole life's story, that has yet to be revealed to you. As we get to know and trust each
other, I will then feel more comfortable disclosing more intimate details about myself. This
process is called: "Self-disclosure."
4. The "unknown" quadrant represents things that neither I know about myself, nor you know about me.
For example, I may disclose a dream that I had, and as we both attempt to understand its significance,
a new awareness may emerge, known to neither of us before the conversation took place. Being
placed in new situations often reveal new information not previously known to self or others.
Components of Self:
A. Self Confidence
Self-confidence is the confidence one has in oneself, ones knowledge, and ones abilities. It is the
confidence of the type: "I can do this". " I have the ability to do this". Self-confidence is the one thing that is
much more important than many other abilities and traits. If you do not have self-confidence, what you do
will never become fruitful at all. The fruits of what you do without self-confidence are lost.
1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes dont make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more
conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you dont look good, it changes the way you
carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal
appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently,
wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesnt mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is spend twice as much, buy
half as much. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In
long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than
cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about himself/herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow?
tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to
go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you arent in a hurry, you can increase your self
confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more
important.
3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic
movements display a lack of self confidence. They arent enthusiastic about what theyre doing and they
dont consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, youll automatically feel more confident.
Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. Youll make a positive impression on others
and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities
to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial.
Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror
aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you cant have it. This leads you
to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time
each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills,
loving relationships, and positive momentum. Youll be amazed how much you have going for you and
motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults
and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in
backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, youll become well
liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in
yourself.
7. Sit in the front row
In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the
room. Most people prefer the back because theyre afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self
confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self
confidence. Youll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because theyre afraid that people will judge them for
saying something stupid. This fear isnt really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than
we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at
least once in every group discussion, youll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own
thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If youre
out of shape, youll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your
physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to
work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the
day.
10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs
of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution youre making to the
rest of the world, you wont worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and
allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more youll be
rewarded with personal success and recognition.
Change negative thoughts to positive ones by focusing on the positive and forgetting the negative
things that happen to you
Remember compliments and note them down
Question whether your view of yourself is accurate. and why you see yourself like you do
Make changes that will help you ;for example, clothes, appearance, hair style and behavior
Accept things about yourself that are true.
Get exercise - you will look and feel better!
Accept criticism constructively so you can move forward and improve yourself
Module - 2
What does self image have to do with self esteem?
Self Esteem is how you feel about yourself. Image is about how you see yourself and how you believe
others see you. They are closely connected because if you have a poor opinion of yourself your self esteem
will be low
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Rigidity
Defensiveness
Self Doubt
Negativity
Blindness to Reality
Fear
Inability to accept criticism
Inability to accept new Ideas
Think back to the time you learned to ride a bicycle. You probably fell several times, but with each fall, youd have
gotten up and brushed off the dust. Before you knew it, youd become pretty good at it. The same applies here. You have
to work on your skills to overcome your failures. See failure or rejection as a part of life.
FORGET ABOUT THINGS THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL
Being preoccupied with things in life that you cannot control (such as the weather, the traffic, other peoples attitudes and
problems, etc.) will stress you out. You can relieve yourself of a lot of stress by letting go of these unnecessary worries.
Rather, shift your attention to things that you can take charge of. Perhaps you cannot control the situation, but you can
control your own response to it and how you want it to affect you for the rest of your life.
TRY NEW THINGS
Experiment with different activities that will help you get in touch with your talents and take pride in new skills you
develop.
Esteem can affect your thinking, causing your outlook to be positive or negative
If you do not value yourself how will you be able to value others?
Self esteem enables you to have the right attitude to succeed at work
Module - 3
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence Quotient is defined as a set of competencies demonstrating the ability one has to
recognize his or her behaviors, moods, and impulses, and to manage them best according to the situation..
Daniel Goleman has suggested that there are five components of EQ:
1. Knowing our own emotions: Emotions are termed as powerful reactions. It means to say that everyone
should be aware of his emotions. However, this is not the case. It has been proved that some are highly aware
of their emotional side of life, and others are perfectly oblivious to their emotions. It has some serious
implications for day-to-day life. If one is not aware of his emotions how can one make a judgment like
whom to marry, whom to date with, or which car to buy. Second, it has been observed that when one is
not has any inkling about ones emotions then they are found to be low in expressiveness. Expressiveness
means showing your expressions through facial expressions, body language, and other gestures. Lack of
expressiveness hurts in terms of interpersonal relationships since, other people will find it tough to decipher
the inner world of that person. Hence, being aware of ones emotions is a must.
2. Managing your own emotions: In day-to-day life, often we try to manage our emotions. It is like
regulating the nature, intensity and expression of concerned emotions. For example, if we dont get expected
grade in the examination, we try to remain calm before our parents, nevertheless, the emotions running
behind our face is not good. Managing emotions is very much important for your mental health and for
keeping your interaction with others efficient.
3. Motivating ourselves: To get something special in our life, one thing that matters most is self motivation.
Motivating oneself to work hard and be on right direction is one of the main aspects of Emotional
Intelligence. Being high in this can give surprising results for any individual.
4. Recognizing and influencing others emotions: This relates to the ability to understand others exactly. It
is to recognize their mood and the emotions that they had at any point of time. As life experience says, this
ability is very much valuable in practical settings. For example, understanding others mood and emotions
exactly can say us whether it is the right time or not to ask for a favor.
5. Handling relationship: Handling relationship is the most important point of strong interpersonal
relationship. We have seen many people who handle relationship very well and in the process become
successful. On the other hand, some people make a total mess of their interpersonal relationship. This is the
basic difference between having good EQ and not. A person with high EQ will always handle relationship in
optimum way.
Negative emotions are, for example: apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, anger,
hostility. Criticized, Disrespected, Embarrassed, Humiliated, Inferior,
Insulted
Positive emotions are, for example: interest, enthusiasm, boredom, laughter, empathy, action, curiosity, love,
Aware, Awesome, Balanced, and Beautiful, Believing, Blessed, Blissful, Brave, Bright, Brilliant, Calm, And
Capable
Importance of Emotions
Survival
Nature developed our emotions over millions of years of evolution. As a result, our emotions have the
potential to serve us today as a delicate and sophisticated internal guidance system. Our emotions alert us
when natural human need is not being met. For example, when we feel lonely, our need for connection with
other people is unmet. When we feel afraid, our need for safety is unmet. When we feel rejected, it is our
need for acceptance which is unmet.
Decision Making
Our emotions are a valuable source of information. Our emotions help us make decisions. Studies show that
when a persons emotional connections are severed in the brain, he can not make even simple decisions.
Why? Because he doesnt know how he will feel about his choices.
Predicting Behavior
Our feelings are also useful in helping us predict our own, and others behavior.
Communication
Our emotions help us communicate with others. Our facial expressions, for example, can convey a wide
range of emotions. If we look sad or hurt, we are signaling to others that we need their help. If we are
verbally skilled we will be able to express more of our emotional needs and thereby have a better chance of
filling them. If we are effective at listening to the emotional troubles of others, we are better able to help
them feel understood, important and cared about.
Happiness
The only real way to know that we are happy is when we feel happy. When we feel happy, we feel content
and fulfilled. This feeling comes from having our needs met, particularly our emotional needs. We can be
warm, dry, and full of food, but still unhappy. Our emotions and our feelings let us know when we are
unhappy and when something is missing or needed. The better we can identify our emotions, the easier it
will be to determine what is needed to be happy.
Module - 4
Managing your Emotions:
Strong emotions are both a cause of, and a result of conflict. People in conflict may have a variety of strong
and often negative emotions--anger, distrust, disappointment, frustration, confusion, worry, or fear. These
emotions often mask the substantive issues in dispute. However, the emotions, too, are real and must be dealt
with.
1) Recognize and understand your own emotions as well as your opponents'.
2) Determine the source of the feelings.
3) Talk about feelings--yours and your opponents'. Don't suppress them, or deny them--acknowledge them
and deal with them directly.
4) Express your own feelings in a non-confrontational way. This can be done, for example, by using Imessages, where you say "I feel angry because. . ." rather than "You made me angry by. . ." The first
approach explains your feelings without accusing anyone else, while the second focuses blame on the
opponent who is likely to become hostile or defensive in response..
5) Acknowledge your opponents' feelings as legitimate.
6) Do not react emotionally to emotional outbursts. You should acknowledge the outburst with active
listening (which shows that you understand the strength of the speaker's feelings),
7) Use symbolic gestures. Gestures such as apologies, sympathy notes, shared meals, or even handshakes can
be very useful in expressing respect and defusing negative emotions at little cost.
Module 5
Attitude: The way we feel or think about something, a person, a place, a situation or any individual.
Types of Attitutde:
1
Positive Attitude
2
Negative Attitude
3
Neutral Attitude
Nature of Attitude:
1
2
3
4
Attitude is invisible
Attitude is acquired
Attitude is pervasive
Attitude affect behavior
TEA System:
T
E
A
=
=
=
Thought
Emotions
Actions/Behaviour
Activities:
A=5
B=0
A = 4 or 3
B = 1 or 2
A=0
B=5
A = 1 or 2
B = 4 or 3
1. If a friend of mine had a personality conflict with a mutual acquaintance of ours and I thought it
was important for them to get along, I would:
A. Tell my friend that I felt s/he was partially responsible for any problems with this other person
and try to let him/her know how the person was being affected by him/her.
B. Not get involved because I wouldnt be able to continue to get along with both of them once I
had entered into their conflict in any way.
2. If one of my friends and I had a heated argument in the past and I realized that s/he was ill at ease
around me from that time on, I would:
A. Just let the whole thing drop to avoid making things worse by discussing it.
B. Bring up his/her behavior and ask how s/he felt the argument had affected our relationship.
3. If a friend began to avoid me and act in an aloof and withdrawn manner, I would:
A. Tell him/her about his/her behavior and suggest that s/he tell me what was on his/her mind.
B. Follow his/her lead & keep our contact brief & aloof since that seems to be what s/he wants.
4. If two of my friends and I were talking and one of them slipped and brought up a personal problem
of mine that involved the other friend, of which s/he was not yet aware, I would:
B. Briefly explain what the other friend was talking about and suggest that we go into it later.
5. If a friend of mine were to tell me that, in his/her opinion, I was doing things that made me less
effective than I might be in social situations, I would:
A. Ask him/her to describe what s/he has observed and suggest changes I might make.
B. Resent his/her criticism and let him/her know why I behave the way I do.
6. If one of my friends aspired to an office in our organization for which I felt s/he was unqualified,
and if s/he had been tentatively assigned to that position by the leader of our group, I would:
A. Not mention any misgivings to either my friend or the leader of our group and let them handle
it in their own way.
B. Tell my friend and the group leader of my misgivings and leave the final decision to them.
7. If I felt that one of my friends was being unfair to me and his/her other friends, but none of the
other friends had mentioned anything about it, I would:
A. Ask the other friends how they perceive the situation to see if they felt s/he was being unfair.
B. Not ask the others how they perceive our friend, but wait for them to bring it up with me.
8. If I were preoccupied with some personal matters and a friend told me that I had become irritated
with him/her and others and that I was jumping on him/her for unimportant things, I would:
A. Tell him/her I was preoccupied and would probably be on edge for a while.
A. Say I didnt know anything and tell him/her our friends wouldnt believe ugly rumors anyway.
B. Tell him/her exactly what I had heard, when I had heard it, and from whom I had heard it.
10. If a friend pointed out that I had a personality conflict with another friend with whom it was
important for me to get along, I would:
A. Consider his/her comments out of line and tell him/her I didnt want to discuss the matter.
B. Talk about it openly with him/her to find out how my behavior was being affected by this.
11. If my relationship with a friend has been damaged by repeated arguments on an issue of
importance to us both, I would:
A. Be cautious in my conversations with him/her so the issue would not come up again to
worsen our relationship.
B. Explain the problems the controversy is causing for our relationship and suggest that we
discuss it until we get it resolved.
12. If in a conversation with a friend about his/her personal problems and behavior s/he suddenly
suggested we discuss my problems and behavior as well as his/her own, I would:
B. Welcome the opportunity to hear what s/he felt about me and encourage his/her comments.
13. If a friend of mine began to tell me about his/her hostile feelings about another friend whom s/he
felt was being unkind to others (and I agreed wholeheartedly), I would:
A. Listen and also express my own feelings to her/him so s/he would know where I stood.
B. Listen, but not express my own negative views and opinion because s/he might repeat what I
said in confidence.
14. If I thought an ugly rumor was being spread about me and suspected that one of my friends had
quite likely heard it, I would:
A. Avoid mentioning the issue and leave it to him/her to tell me about it if s/he wanted to.
B. Risk putting him/her on the spot by asking directly what s/he knew about the rumor.
15. If had observed a friend in social situations and thought that s/he was doing a number of things
which hurt his/her relationships, I would:
A. Risk being seen as a busy-body and tell him/her what I had observed and my reactions to it.
B. Keep my opinion to myself rather than be seen as interfering in what is none of my business.
16. If two friends and I were talking and one of them inadvertently mentioned a personal problem
which involved me, but of which I knew nothing, I would:
A. Press them for information about the problem and their opinions on it.
B. Leave it up to my friends to tell me or not, letting them change the subject if they wished.
17. If a friend seemed to be preoccupied and began to jump on me for seemingly unimportant things,
as well as others without real cause, I would:
A. Treat him/her with kid gloves for a while on the assumption that s/he was having some
temporary personal problems which were none of my business.
B. Try to talk to him/her about it and explain how his/her behavior was affecting others.
18. If I had begun to dislike certain habits of a friend to the point that it was interfering with my
enjoyment of their company, I would:
A. Say nothing to him/her directly, but let him/her know my feelings by ignoring him/her
whenever the annoying habits were obvious.
B. Get my feelings out in the open and clear the air so that we could continue our friendship
comfortably and enjoyably.
19. In discussing social behavior with one of my more sensitive friends, I would:
A. Avoid mentioning his/her flaws and weaknesses so as not to hurt his/her feelings.
B. Focus on his/her flaws and weaknesses so s/he could improve his/her interpersonal skills.
20. If I knew my friends attitudes toward me had become rather negative lately and I knew I might be
assigned an important position in our group, I would:
20A
Total
Johari Window
Plot the totals from each column on the graph below. The total from the Solicits
Feedback column is recorded along the horizontal axis. The total from the Willingness
to Disclose column is recorded along the vertical axis. (NOTE: 0 is at the top of the
vertical axis and 50 at the bottom of the vertical axis!) Divide the graph into four
sections by drawing straight lines from the scores.
Solicits Feedback
0
0
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
Open
Blind
Hidden
Unknown
5
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
50
SA -A -D -SD
6. * I certainly feel useless at times.
SA -A -D -SD
7. I feel that Im a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.
SA -A -D -SD
8. * I wish I could have more respect for myself.
SA -A -D -SD
9. * All in all, I am inclined to feel that I am a failure.
SA -A -D -SD
10. I take a positive attitude toward myself.
SA -A -D -SD
Scoring: SA=3, A=2, D=1, SD=0. Items with an asterisk are reverse scored, that is, SA=0, A=1,
D=2, SD=3. Sum the scores for the 10 items. The higher the score, the higher the self-esteem.
Scores below 15 suggest low self-esteem.
Attitude Test
Success. So what is your attitude towards success? What does that mean for you? Take the 5minute test below; you may be surprised at the results you get.
Select one of the three answers to the questions below, and then compute your score based on the
instructions at the end of the test
TEST
1
(A) I have a clear idea of what success means to me.
(B) I have no idea what success means to me.
(C) I have somewhat of an idea what success means to me.
2
(A) I always seek advice and feedback.
(B) I never seek advice and feedback.
If you score was between 6 and 10 you are well on your way to success. If your score was
between 5 and zero, you need to fine-tune your attitude towards success.