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Copyright Alex Carter and makeherdesireyou.com
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Table Of Contents
Chapter 1 Understanding the Female World.......................................17
Chapter 2 Impulsive Desire Formula...................................................27
Chapter 3 What Are You Truly Worth?.................................................39
Chapter 4 The Sweet Spot of Desire...................................................51
Chapter 5 Leader vs Reactor...............................................................63
Chapter 6 Planting the Seeds of Desire..............................................75
Chapter 7 The Intrigue Arousal Method...............................................86
Chapter 8 Intrigue a Woman By Showing Her
How Much You Suck...............................................................................98
Chapter 9 How to Turn Yourself into a Trigger
of Pleasurable Feelings.........................................................................110
Chapter 10 The Most Important Skill.................................................127
Chapter 11 How to Read Her Mind....................................................137
Conclusion...........................................................................................146

Introduction: Why I Created This Course

Hello there.
All my life Ive heard the saying, that sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words can never harm me. Id just like to say one thing for the record: that
is a complete and absolute lie. Words, from the right person, and under the
right circumstances, have hurt me more than sticks or stones (or any other
objects, blunt or otherwise) ever could.
Words shaped my life. Over the last ten years, I have learned what to say, what
not to say, how to get someone else to say what you want them to sayyou
might say I have a passion for words. Though most people who know me
probably wouldnt put it exactly that way
But I think I may be getting ahead of myself: hi. My name is Alex. Alex Carter.
You may have heard of me.
Now, if you have heard my name somewhere before, then youve probably
heard a bit about me, as well. And if youve heard anyone talk about me, youve
probably heard them call me by many different names.
Depending on who you ask, Alex Carter is the pick-up artist, the bad boy, the
player, the jerkadd to that any number of other fancy names, titles, and
superlatives.
But lets be clear:its not like Im out there promoting myself as any of those
things. These are names other people, most of them men but many of them
women, have given me.
And all too often, the names I hearthe ones above, as well as many others
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are not meant nicely. Theyre actually supposed to be insults. But me? I take
them as compliments. Sure, it might seem odd to some to consider jerk a
positive thing but thats pretty much just how I roll.
It might have something to do with the fact that I hear the most insults right as
Im about to leave the party with the hottest girl in the room. It makes me
start to think that, just maybe, jerk actually means I wish I could be that guy.
Or I wish I could sleep with that guy. (Well cover this in detail later, dont
worry.)
But heres a little secret, one that people often fail to see at first: I wasnt always
like this. In fact, once upon a time, I was the classic Nice Guy Finishing Last.
Things were rough, and I was both frustrated and confused with my utter failure
to get the women to whom I was attracted to look at me. Though to be more
accurate, in those early days, I was having a hard time getting any woman to
look at me.

A little bit about me.

I was, in those days before I learned the techniques in this course, a complete
and utter geek. I had messy hair and giant glasses that took over my whole face.
My nose was always shiny with facial oil, and I always had a pimple or two on
my forehead. My mother still thought (and told me) I was the specialist (and
most beautiful) kid in the whole country, of course. But who doesnt at least
have their mother in their corner?
Needless to say, I needed some help. And I knew it, too. Well, at the very least, I
knew that something needed to change. As I grew up, I developed a great deal
of internal negativity, a strong sense of low self-worth that got worse the older I
became.
I had one really good friend in those days. And he was a total geek, just like
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myself.
Other kids went out and socialized. They went out and partied. I feel certain
they probably had a pretty good time, too. I, on the other hand, spent my
weekends and other free time cemented to the computer or the game console.
My friend and I played video and computer games nonstop, and for a period of
time, I was more or less okay with that.
But Ive got just a smidgen of OCD twitching around in this old brain, and for
that reason Ive always suffered from something of an addictive personality. I
absolutely cannot handle doing anything in moderation. I treated video games
that way, and when it came to women, I took much the same approach.
What do you get when you mix an addictive personality with constant rejection
and depression? Read on and find out.

Ashley.
There was one girl in my life in those early days. For the sake of maintaining her
privacy, lets call her Ashley.
Now, Ashley may not have been the hottest girl in the entire world: in fact, if
you saw a picture of her, youd probably say she was average-looking at best.
Maybe a little above average. But thats not the way I saw it back then.
As far as I was concerned, Ashley might as well have stepped straight off of a
chariot swung low from Heaven. Where someone else might have seen just
another average girl in an average town smack dab in the middle of Nowhere,
U.S.A., I saw a girl with the face of an angel.
I saw a girl with hair so shiny it blinded me to look at it. It was silky, smooth
perfect. Her smell was enough to make my eyes roll back in my head and my
knees start to quake like jelly. My soul was thoroughly overwhelmed. To say the
least.
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Yeah, yeahI fell hard for the Girl Next Door. Im a world-class chump. Shut up.
Shed been in my life about four months when I finally got up the nerve to say
something about my attraction. I was all too ready for a relationshipmaybe
even more than just that. As far as I was concerned, Ashley was absolutely
perfect. And she was perfect for me. I didnt just see a potential girlfriend in
Ashley: I saw a potential wife.
But right now, as our story opens, she was neither. Just a good friend (still is,
actually). When I was a geeky high school kid with nothing to offer the girls at
my school, she was just about the only girl who treated me with anything like
friendliness. She was pretty much the only girl in my life who was actually nice
to me.
And so it was that with a giant knot in my stomach and my heart beating hard
that I finally gathered the courage to say something to her about my attraction.
I had wanted to ask Ashley to be my girlfriend for some time by this point.
Several times I had come within millimeters of actually asking her out. But I was
so nervous, it took me months to finally get to a place where I felt like I could
tell the plunge and actually tell her how I felt.
I knew that Ashley was not going to be available forever; I would have to act, or
eventually some other, more confident guy would come along and snatch her
up.
But adolescent nervousness was still stronger than masculine bravado, and so
eventually, instead of finding her and asking her out, I just sent a text message. I
know texting is a totally lame move. And I think that maybe a part of me knew
that as I sat painstakingly composing the fateful text message.
Looking back, if Id been less nervous about the whole thing, maybe I would
have caught myself. But alls well that ends well, and Im feeling pretty good
about my life today, so I guess it works out. Lets get back to the story
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Even today, it still feels like I spent a couple hours on that text, though I know
now that it only felt like that long because I was so incredibly nervous. I typed
the text message, then deleted it. Then I rewrote it, made a few changes, typed
it againon and on, over and over again I spelled out my feelings in as few lines
as possible. I could feel my heart pounding the whole time.
The hours of slaving over my text message, making it just perfect, finally yielded
this:
Ashley, will you be my girlfriend?
Clever, I know I was nervous, okay?
So finally, after what seemed like an entire afternoon spent changing and
editinggetting the text just rightI sat in my room, my thumb poised over the
send button, every muscle coiled. I squeezed my eyes shut, and pressed my
thumb down against the screen of my phone. I heard a subtle ding.
When I opened my eyes again, I saw the fateful word running across the top of
the screen: Sent. I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
A couple of days went by, and I heard nothing. No response. I didnt have the
heart to text her or call her after that. I had no idea what she was thinking. I
didnt dare say anything else to her. It had already taken so much courage just
to say anything in the first place, that I had little stomach for more blind leaps
into the unknown.

But it had been three days. I knew shed seen the text.
So finally, one night, I called her. When she picked up the phone, I could hear
lots of noise in the background. I heard feminine giggling and shouting. I asked
her if she had a minute. She said that she did, but she warned me that she had
some friends over, and they were having a girls night.
I swallowed hard, and finally asked her in real-time if shed read my text. I didnt
have the guts to ask her the real question over the phoneI just asked if shed
seen my last text. I figured shed know what I meant. And she did.
But she didnt exactly tell me what I wanted to hear. Looking back, I should
already have known when she didnt respond for three days that things were
not going to go well. But I was still young and inexperienced at this point, so I
still held out hope.
Then it was Ashleys turn to speak. When she did, my heart sank down into my
stomach, and it stayed there.
And just what did she say? What words did she utter into her cell phone that
fateful night that was destined to change the course of my life forever? And to
ruin my night, and my life for the next few months?
Alex! she said to me, as if I were crazy to think otherwise, did you really think
we were going to get together? We are so not in the same league. She laughed
into the phone, girlish, melodious little titters that rang against my ears like
fingers on chalkboard.
Ouch.
I mean, seriously.

Ouch!
It goes pretty much without saying that there are lots of ups and downs in life.
And some of them are harder to take than others. For whatever reason, as you
probably already know very well, getting rejected by a woman youre after
really hits you where you cant defend yourself. Its a real sucker-punchright
in the gut. When you totally werent ready for it.
Its often been said and is extremely true that once the seed of self-doubt is
sown in your mind, it does nothing but grow, until youre petrified to even walk
up to a woman, much less talk to her or get her number.
I felt like the worst thing in the world had happened to me that night when
Ashley laughed at me. I would have done anything possible to keep from ever
having another experience like that. But the world wasnt done with me yet;
something even worse happened later on.

Kelsey.
It was a few months after I confessed my love to Ashley. I hadnt talked to her
for a while, and Id started a new job, so I had even less time for my old friends
and hangouts. Working at this new job, I ran into a new girl, as well. And she
brought her own share of problems, just as Ashley had.
But I really wanted a girlfriend. But even more than that, I really wanted a girl to
be interested in me. I was getting less picky, too. But lets not get side-tracked.
Back to the story. Lets call this next girl Kelsey, for her privacy.
I finally managed to hang out with her once, after knowing her a few months.
We ended up sitting on my couch not doing much of anything one afternoon.
That was the day when I finally decided to swallow my fear.
That was when I decided to make my move.
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I turned to where she sat, next to me on the couch. I leaned in close to her, put
my hand on her shoulder.
You know, I said, You make a great friend; I wonder how youd do as
something more? I leaned towards her, to kiss her.
Things got very still and very quiet right about then. Kelsey looked me right in
the eyes. My hand was still on her shoulder. I was leaned inmy body language
could not have been more obvious. She looked down at my hand on her
shoulder, then back at me. I could have sworn I saw a faint smile playing around
her lips.
And for just the briefest moment, there, I thought maybe I was about to win.
Instead, the moment ended with those soul-crushing words I will always
remember:
Dont be silly, Alex. Were really good friends. I like you a lot. But were just
friends. I cant really see us as anything else.
I responded by asking the question that had been growing in my mind since my
experience with Ashley.
Hey! I said. Why not?! I did my best sad-puppy face. Though, in retrospect, I
really couldnt have told you what I thought that was supposed to accomplish.
Were just were just friends.
Yeah, I heard you the first time, I said. She wrinkled her nose at me, but I went
on. I was mad. And who says we have to be just friends, anyway? Who says we
could never be any more than that? Huh?
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She sighed. I just feel that we make better friends, okay, Alex? So, you arent
allowed to do that. At that, she put one pointy-nailed finger on my chin and
pushed my head away from hers. I sat back onto the couch, deeply
embarrassed, completely devastated.
Things got awkward after that and stayed that wayuntil she finally went home.
Once I finally got her out the front door, I went back and sat on the couch again.
It still felt warm from where wed sat on it a few moments before. I put my hand
on the place where shed just been, feeling the heat shed left behind.
Frustration rose in my chest, and I made a fist. I smashed it as hard as I could
against the cushion. A muted plop came from where my fist smacked against it.
I wanted to hit something else, something that would break and make a lot of
noise. Hey, maybe a part of me even wanted to hit someone. But I was alone in
the house, so I just sat there as the afternoon went by, stewing in my own
impotent anger.
I felt like the fat kid who had to climb a mountain to get the worlds last
Hersheys bar, but who always fell back to the bottom right when he got close
to the summit. Id get so closeso closeand then fail miserably right at the
moment I thought I was about to finally win it all.
Youre not allowed, Kelsey had said. That had hurt. It wasnt even a lip kiss, I
thought in frustration. It was a cheek kiss!
But, believe it or not, this is not even the part that sucks. Hold your horses
were getting there.
I went to a party with Kelsey a few weeks later. Things had calmed down, and Id
made peace with never being anything more than her friend. There was a
bartender at the party, so we made that our first stop when we arrived.

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She kept looking around while we waited for our drinks and I made idle
conversation. I wondered what she might be looking for. I started looking
around, too. It never crossed my mind she might be looking around for cute
guys.
We wandered away from the bar once we had our drinks, and stood near the
middle of the room. She seemed to gulp her drink down almost immediately.
And I was still feeling depressed over Kelseys rejection a few weeks before, so
my drink was empty shortly after hers was. I asked her if she wanted a refill,
since I was about to go for one myself. She smiled at me (ahh she had the best
smile) and said shed love one.
So I took our empty glasses with me up to the bar, off to one side of the room.
The party had ramped up by this time, and the bartender was backed up. But I
got my drink order in, so there I stood. I waited by the bar.
It was taking longer than usual to get our drinks made, and so(of course) I found
myself staring at Kelsey. I was staring at her legs, and admiring how cute she
looked, standing there in the middle of the room by herself.
I turned back to the bartender to see how our drinks were coming along. I spied
two drinks that matched my order, with the bartender still bent busily over
them. He was lifting and dropping bottles in a kind of hurried dance.
It wouldnt be long now, for sure. But I couldnt help myself; I chanced one final
glance over towards Kelsey. You know how it is when you really like a girl. And I
really liked this one.
I definitely did not like the scene I saw when I turned around to look at her. She
was standing with a guy who looked like hed gotten a little too close for
comfort. I turned back to the bartender, and yelled at him to hurry up. Then I
saw the drinksthey were already on the bar. I grabbed them, and hurried back
to where Kelsey stood in the middle of the room.

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I approached her from behind, so she didnt see me come up. I held out her
drink, and said her name. I asked her if the guy was bothering her. She didnt
hear me. And so she never turned around. Instead, she stood on tiptoe to put
her arms around the guys neck. She kissed him.
No, actuallyto be completely honest, that doesnt describe it at all. She didnt
kiss him. She proceeded to eat his face. These two were really going at it. I stood
there behind them, a drink in each hand. My mouth hung open. Amid the noise
and chaos of the party, the three of us were the only ones not moving, not
talking, and not dancing.
Finally, after what felt like an hour, they stopped kissing. Kelsey happened to
glance over her shoulder, and she turned, one arm still around the guys
shoulder, and smiled at me. Ugh! She was actually enjoying it.
I held the drink out to her, speechless. She leaned in to take it, still smiling
completely oblivious to how I was reeling from what Id just seen. The guy just
stood there, towering over both of us. She turned back to him, and as she did
so, he said to me, over her shoulder, Hey man, youre really killing the moment
right now. How bout you beat it, huh?
I looked over my shoulder as I walked away. They had gone back to kissing. Or
sloppily devouring each others lips with reckless abandonwhatever.
Everything was absolutely terrible. I couldnt make eye contact with anyone else
at the party as I made my way outside, where it was freezing cold and
everything smelled like cigarette smoke.
Theres a lot more to this story. I did plenty more to embarrass myself at this
party. Im not going to go into all of it here, but let me put it this way: you know
Murphys Law?
The law that says that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong? The law that says
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that no matter what precautions you take, you will always experience every
problem it is possible for you to experience? It felt like in my case, Murphy had
not just come to callhed moved into the damnliving room.
But still I could not get my head around what I was seeing. How could it be that
this girl, who wouldnt let me so much as touch her, was glad to suck face with
some random guy shed met only a few minutes before?
I had already been having a hard time, since Kelsey rejected me; this just added
insult to injury. Who was this guy, anyway? What did he have that I didnt have?
These questions burned in my mind.
They started to drive me absolutely insane. Remember when I told you that I
have a bit of an addictive personality? In this case, it came out powerfully: I just
had to figure out what was happening. I absolutely had to find out why girls like
Ashley and Kelsey only ever wanted to be my friend, and never anything more.
So thats basically why.
Ive been kicked in the ass a few times in my love life, as you can tell just from
these few stories. But this is hardly everything: Ive got a decade of experience
to sharenot all of it is pretty.
It was these exact experiences, however, that really made me who I am today. I
was okay just sitting around playing video games with my best friend, when
there was a whole world out there from which I was excluding myself, and yet
that secretly I desperately wanted to be a part of.
You could almost say I needed those little kicks in the pants from girls like Ashley
and Kelsey to get me up and moving. I had neglected a big part of my life for a
long time, those kicks in the pants said, and it was time to make something
change.
I was excited to find out the answers to my questions, to find out finally and
15

really what it is that makes girls tick. What it is that makes them choose one
guy, and not another? I had gone through life for so long wondering why not
me? that when I sat down to learn about how the techniques Im going to
teach you in this course, I was ready for anything that would improve my
situation, even a little bit.
See, I had this feeling of Im not good enough floating around inside my head.
Feeling insufficient is horriblebut the good news is that theres never any
reason to have to go through it.
And that, in short, is why I created this course. I see guys everywhere struggling
with the same heartbreaking experiences that affected me so deeply when I
was growing up. And today, I dont struggle with those things. In fact, you might
even call me a relationship expert (thats actually the term I prefer): I have
reached the point in my study and practice where I can essentially pick which
women I want to date.
But thats not allI can also do it on my terms. I dont just date these women, I
get literally whatever I want or need from them. They cant wait to give me
what I want, to be honest.
And I cant wait to share my secrets with you. Plow on, lucky reader, to find out
what I learned, and become a master of interacting with women, and getting
what you want out of them.

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Chapter 1 Understanding the Female World.

Okay, Im giving you a fair warning, right now: Im about to ask you a bit of an
odd question.

That odd question is this: have you ever considered how life probably seems to
the attractive girls you stare at and hit on all day? Have you ever put yourself
into an attractive womans shoes and tried to experience life from her
perspective for a dayto walk a mile in her shoes, as it were?

Its an interesting exercise, and it may open the door for you to start changing
the way you think about women. In fact, lets try it right now.

So youre an attractive girl. You wake up, spend three or four hours on your hair,
apply a little makeup, and zippity-doo-dah, out you go, into the wide and sunny
world. Instantly, guys turn their heads as you pass, wherever you go. It probably
feels nice. You want to flip your hair and wink at them and bounce down the
sidewalk, just drinking in the joy of being alive (and being really hot).

But no matter where you are or what youre doing all day long, someone is
looking at you, whether it be an angry fellow woman who sees you as
competition, or a man who is probably trying to get the best possible view of
your ass while youre looking the other wayor trying to talk you into giving
him your number so he can scheme ways to get into your pants.

Then, you go to work. There are probably two or three guys in the office who
have asked you out on datesyou may have even had an office relationship or
two. But your colleagues are constantly scheming ways to get dates with you.
Youre pretty sure the new guy has a bet with those two gross guys over in
accounting that he can get you naked.
17

In fact, you have a hard time finding anywhere you can go in public where men
are not coming up to you, trying pickup lines and asking for your number. It just
never seems to end.

So, by this point, youre dashing home, trying desperately to escape all the men
who are after you. They seem to be just about everywhere, and while yes, the
attention is flattering, it is also very annoying. So you get on the computer.
Youll hide from them in your room. But that doesnt work either.

The reason it doesnt work is because its only been five or ten minutes you
fired up Facebook and already you see that you have comments from those two
guys from the office who keep asking you out. Another random guy has
commented on every single picture you put up that wow u r the hottt lets do it
baby.

Its nice to be attractive, but it would also be nice to get away from all the
attention, I bet. You know youre a 9 or a 10 when it comes to how you look.
But you just cant get away from the idea that all these guys dont care at all for
who you areits like theyre all talking to you just to get you to take off your
pants. They dont care about anything else, least of all you.

And like youd never want to be the guy who only has friends in high school
after his parents put in that backyard swimming pool, youd probably resent
having people interested in you seemingly only for how hot you were.
Eventually, it would start to get to you. Especially if youd wish people cared
about what a great tennis player you are, or your stellar work performance
record, or your stamp collectionwhatever it might be.

18

You must be wondering: why am I even telling you this?

I grant you this much: if youre asking yourself at this point what imagining life
as a hot girl has to do with dating and sleeping with the women you choose,
instead of the ones who choose you, then youre asking a fair question. But
trust me for a moment, because I do in fact know what I am talking about, and
all of this will tie back together, I promise.

The reason this first exercise (and it is only the first of many that may seem a
little bit odd to you, so youd better get used to the idea) is important to
learning how to understand and interact with women is because, it gives you a
bit of insight on the first part of the problem you will come up against, when
you decide to put yourself out there and go after a particular girl.

The short answer is that girls have and use something that well call the
Automatic Rejection Process.

What is the Automatic Rejection Process?

Lets go back for a minute to imagining that you are the hot girl, and not the
other way around. By the time youre 18 or 19 years old, you already (probably)
have realized that youre a hot girl. The way guys treat you has gotten just too
difficult to ignore. And the way women treat you has probably been different
from what an average-looking person experiences, as well.

But thats not important here. What is important is that by the time you get
used to getting so many offers all the time, youve probably fallen into the habit
of rejecting 99% of those guys.

And its not because youre a bitchor even because they were all unattractive.
You just get way too many offers during the day; you could never say yes to
even close to all of them. So your default response to a guy who approaches
19

you is to say no, unless theres a really good reason to say yes. Thats the
Automatic Rejection Process, and its why hot girls end up with such terrible
reputations.

Everybody wants to try and get with them, but nobody ever considers that
some people have to get shot down, and it isnt always about you not being
attractive enough. Sometimes, shes just got too many different people who are
after her.

Theres one side effect that this method of approaching the world tends to have
for us guys, and it isnt necessarily a good thing: when you approach that hot
girl, chances are youve already been pigeonholed into a category.

I dont mean shes looking at your shoes and your hairstyle and judging you: I
mean the very fact that youre approaching her means that you have something
in common now with a particular group of guys. They all approached her, too.
So she tends to start the same old process of rejection before you even have
had a chance to open your mouth and say anything.

Shes already getting ready for the (probably not entirely pleasant) experience
of gently letting you know that shes not interested, just like the last 42 dudes
who came up to her. Dont take it personally, however.

The first really good reason not to take any of this personal is that, well, it isnt
personal: youre Guy #423,235 just today. Youd have to really know your game
backwards and forwards to be able to see any kind of success versus odds like
that.

And thats the second reason you shouldnt take it personally: once you know
the techniques that I am going to teach you in this book, those odds will no
20

longer matter. You wont be Guy #4,624,621 anymore (yes, 4,201,386 guys
actually hit her up just while I was explaining that: you see why she might have
some issues in this area?); youll be the only guy she remembers. Guy #1. That
sounds a lot better, doesnt it?

You also shouldnt take this personally because most of it is happening on a

subconscious level. This isnt some decision our hypothetical hot girl
consciously made at some point in the past: shes just so used to subtly
rejecting guys who hit on her that she doesnt even have to think about it
anymore.

She could be really mean, or the nicest person in the world: shes just doing
what she does several times a day, every day. Its an automatic processthats
why its the Automatic Rejection Process.

Unless

Unless what? Unless and until you understand how attraction actually gets
triggered in the female brain, chances are youre going to get stopped at that
first barrierwith all the other chumps. Get out of the long line and into the
VIP line.

Thats where the guys that go right past the defenses and straight into the
attractive category are standing. Youd be smart to get over there, and I can
show you how. Heres the first secret to understanding the female brain. It came
to me in a discovery several years back, as I was learning to master the art of
dealing with women.

My shocking discovery.
This was perhaps the most shocking discovery Ive made in my time learning
21

how to pursue women. But first, another questionthis one not quite so weird.
What do you think it is that makes a girl choose one guy, and not another?
What single thing is the most important difference between the guy who takes
the girl home, and the guy who goes home by himself?

Some of the more common guesses sound like this (and not one of these is
right, so if you guessed any of them, then go ahead and give yourself 0 points
for this question): penis size, money, sense of humor, being in touch with your
feminine side, remembering her name, not just wanting to hook up with her,
wanting the same things she does, having common interests and so on. In
fact, Id say there are no other books on relationships or women out there that
contain this single, fundamental piece of information.

So I was sitting with this female friend of mine, and wed known each other for
about five years. I was on my way to becoming better with women, but I still
had a lot to learn. Well call her Jessica.

Now, Jessica was about 510taller than me, in fact. She had an amazing body
and this natural platinum hair that made her look like a Game of Thrones
character, but hotter, if possible. And to top it off, she was hyper-intelligent,
getting her masters degree at a prestigious university. But there was one thing
about her that I found exceedingly strange. She was absolutely, completely,
head-over-heels in love with a man I came to start calling The Weird Guy.

Im seriousI actually called him that. Jessica heard me call him that, too, but it
changed nothing about how she felt about him. I mean, she was really into this
guy. He was shorter than her, couldnt seem to hold down a steady job, and
struggled with pretty much everything in his life. And on top of that, he was
completely average-looking. In fact, most of the time he seemed to need a
shower and a shave.

22

So what in the world did this guy have going for him? This must have been a
case of true love being blindor at least really, really nearsighted.

But no, it wasnt that either. Jessica told me that the Weird Guy had told her
consistently on several different occasions that he was not really interested in
anything beyond casual dating, but she stuck with him, just in case he decided
to change his mind. She was practically ready to marry the guy, and I think she
would have done it, too, if he hadnt told her again and again that he was not
interested in anything like that.

As for me, I was furious. I was a lot better with women than I had been, but
thats not even why I was so upset. Part of me was mad that Jessica refused to
see that the guy she liked was a complete bum.

She deserved a really special guy. Somebody who really had his act together,
and could really take care of her. Instead, she seemed to be primarily interested
in this bum who would do nothing but bring her down and make her life harder.
The decision was frustrating to see her make. Especially when shed turn down
guys who were far more attractive, and more successful, without a second
thought.

Another part of me was conscious of the fact that I was learning how to deal
with women, and this guy flouted everything Id ever learned. Maybe you could
call him a natural PUAwhatever it was, this guy had it in spades. But he didnt
use techniques and he didnt need books to tell him how to do it. It was just
natural for this guy. But I wasnt about to let Jessica fall in with someone like
him, and I tried talking to her about the Weird Guy.

It didnt go well. In fact, by the time our conversation was done, she was
throwing balled-up napkins and cheesy biscuits at me and calling me an
insensitive prick. It was all I could do to escape the place. She told me Id never
23

understand what she felt for him, and that I should just stop trying to tell her
who to be into and not be into. It wasnt my decision, she said, and she was
happy with the decision shed made.

I just feel right around him, shed said. Its hard to describe the feeling, but it
feels good.

I didnt really think about this statement until after Id left her there in the
restaurant, still yelling at me as I headed out the front door. But in my car,
heading home, it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.

I just feel right around him, shed said. I just feel right around him.

Id been doing psychological research, and lots of field research, trying to

understand the female brain, and a lot of what wasnt making sense to me
finally fell into place when Jessica said that. In fact, I realized that Id been going
about a lot of my research in entirely the wrong way as a result of that moment.
I was looking for the answer in books when books clearly were not able to
explain this.

But several years more of book and field research have done little besides
confirm my suspicion: this was the moment when I really learned the truth.

It is not penis size, money, looks, status, or even ability to raise and care for
children that really turns a womans head. No, what really gets you that fewpage spread in her diary is how you make her feel when she is around you. Its
like you and all the other guys she knows are different drugs. She picks the one
she likes the most, even if they arent good for her (sometimes especially or
only if they arent good for her). But its all about how she feels when she does
it.
24

A lot of people will tell you that women are the more emotional of the sexes,
and I find that to be nonsense. Men have plenty of emotions, and plenty of
contact with their emotions. Tell me you dont feel something when Gerard
Butler calls to his men Tonight we dine in Hell! So you know what feelings are,
and how they work, and you feel them just like women do.

Men just have different kinds of emotions, and deal with them differently.
Women in general, however, do tend to focus on their emotions more than men
do. In other words, while you might stay with a physically hot girl who didnt
make you feel so great about yourself because, you enjoyed the status being
the guy with the really hot girlfriend, a girl would much rather be with an ugly
or poor guy who makes her feel great when shes with him.

Even if he looks like a nose-picking fart potato who never cleans the bathroom.

So the takeaway here is that the women in your life evaluate you based on the
feelings that you give them.

From across a room and with nothing else to consider, a guy judges a woman
based on what she looks like. Sure, a girl with average looks and a great
personality tends to look better than a girl with amazing features and a stormy
attitude, but in general, males remain the more visual of the species.

And women, as Ive already addressed, remain the more emotionally-oriented.

So a man will pick a girl based on what she looks like, while a girl will pick a guy
based on how he makes her feel.

Lets put this into more directly practical terms for some of you, who I sense are
still waiting to be told what they actually have to do. This means that as a really
ugly guy, with no money, and nothing really going for him, can beat out a bona
25

fide hunk with a seven-figure bank account, so long as he knows how to trigger
the right kinds of feelings within the woman he is after.

You may every once in a while see a pairing that doesnt really make sense. You
might see an old guy going out with a girl half his age, or a really averagelooking fella with a girl who looks like a super-hot model. And to most of us, we
look at the girl and go what were you thinking? when what we really should
be doing is asking the girl how the guy makes her feel, and asking the guy what
hes doing to get that effect.

In fact, in the coming chapters, that is exactly what were going to do. Im going
to talk about how girls want you to make them feel, and then what you can do
to trigger those feelings.

26

Chapter 2 Impulsive Desire Formula.

Lets start this chapter as we did the last one, with a question. What, precisely,
is an impulse?
What is it, that spark that ignites all spontaneous human action? The impetus
that pushes the spur-of-the-moment decision?
Well, if you were going to put the definition into its simplest form, you might
say that an impulse is the urge to do something, without any forethought or
reasonable explanation. A human being who does anything without thinking
about it beforehand, or using any logical thought in the process of making a
decision, acts impulsively.
The Impulsive Desire Formula, which well talk about in a moment, is all about
impulsive behavior. Its about learning how impulses arise, what gives them
their power, and how to trigger certain impulses in the girls you talk to.
You may have tried to talk to girls before, and approached the task from a
logical perspective. Its a common mistake, and one plenty of guys make,
especially early on. You tend to just assume she thinks like you do, when in fact
she thinks very differently.
Understanding those differences is a major part of learning how to foster
attraction in any girl you choose. The impulsive desire formula taps into what
Ive learned in my research, and (more importantly) in the field, taking into
account how women actually think, for a far more effective, battle-tested
approach.
The idea is that you become able to create desire that exists on an impulsive
level, rather than on a logical one, in the girl youre talking to. Intellectual
attraction acts at one level, but impulsive attraction works at another level, far
27

deeper and more potent than the intellectual level could ever be. The level of
impulsive attraction is the level of the survival emotions.
Its the level where addiction lives, where starvation lives, and where maternal
instincts livebasically, impulsive desire tickles a need so deep, so primal, and
so intense, that a girl can actually forget all logic.
When that happens, you can be sure that she will pursue you at a high level of
intensity. Shell be an exploding volcano of desirethat you have triggered. All
of these natural, psychological phenomena work no matter how tall you are, or
what your bank account looks like. Those things have nothing to do with any of
this.
What can this formula do for you?
This formula has some serious power behind it. Even before I learned these
techniques, I was never the kind of guy who was scared to get into high-risk
kind of situationspersonally, Ive been skydiving twice, and I love going to
clubs alone just to chase women, now more than everbut I warn you: be
careful with the way that you use the techniques in this book.
You may get exactly what you wish for. And if you didnt grow up under a rock,
then you understand how dangerous getting what you wish for can actually
be. All Im saying to you is to be careful.
But if youre willing to exercise a reasonable amount of caution, this formula
can bring you all kinds of happiness you never thought was possible. There are
plenty of people out there today writing books about how to pick up women. Id
even be willing to bet that some of them have good information in them. Ive
read a number of those books, and what I found was that in general, the books
that were available to me did not have a ton of great information in them. In
fact, most of them were full of nonsense.

28

So I put together the formulas and techniques in this book based almost
entirely on my own experience, and the experience of other men Ive worked
with. I had to learn the hard waythrough brutal trial and error.
But all that time spent trying and failing has given me a lot of wisdom. Ill share
some of it with you here in the next few pages. Learn from my mistakes, and
you can get to where you want to be much faster.
Lets break down exactly what it is Im going to teach you how to do. There are
several different aspects to this, and each of them has its quirks and special
techniques. If you master everything in this book, you will be able to:
1-You will be able to walk into a crowded room, choose a girl, approach her, and
generate an instant attractionwithin seconds. You will be able to do this with
virtually any girl. You do not need to be tall, strong, or extremely smart to make
this technique work.
2-You will be able to reverse the process of being put into the friend zone, and
avoid ever having to go there again. Youll be able to get the girl youre losing
sleep over to see you as boyfriend material right away. Even if youre already
stuck in the friend zone, you can still escape it, if you really put these
techniques to work for you.
3-You can change indifference or active dislike into desire, and make even a girl
who hates you attracted to you. Overcome a terrible first impression and make
a comeback.
4-Turn boring relationships around. Take a relationship that seems to have gone
completely stale, and turn it back into a sizzling hot one where she just cant get
enough of you. Girls get bored too, and sometimes they can start to look
around to see if theres something better going on with some other guy. What
Ill teach you will help you get her attention back on you, and keep her
emotional attraction to you high at all times.

29

5- In some cases, you might even be able to get an ex-girlfriend back.

So what is the impulsive desire formula, and how does it work?
The concepts behind the Impulsive Desire Formula are really quite simple, when
you break them down and look at them bit by bit and piece by piece.
Essentially, you have to get a girl in a loop of attraction, and then keep her
there.
A loop takes place when you do something she finds attractive, so she
expresses a little bit of interest. This causes you to do something else, which
triggers even more attraction in her. And so on and so forth.
To really get the girls you choose to do what you want them to do, you need to
develop your skills. This means hard work and lots of practice. But armed with
these tools, youll gain the ability to keep the girl in a never-ending loop of
attractionher desire for you will increase over time, until she cant think
about anybody else but you. And not only will she want you, shell need you, at
the impulsive, the primal level.
To give you the best example, it will be almost as if, youve got your finger on
the button that says More Desire, and whenever you press it any girl will go
insanely crazy for you. She wont be able to explain it, because it will be taking
place below the level of intellectual awareness and thinking. She will just find
herself filled with desire for you, and will have no clue why she feels that way.
Heres a promise: I am going to teach you everything that you need to know
about this process, so that you can make it work for you. Well go deep into
detail, and youll get tons of tricks, plus the precise, exact process that I use to
generate a loop of attraction in any woman I desire.
But thats later in the course. For the time being, there is something else of
even greater importance that Id like to discuss with you.

30

Were about to introduce a major concept. If you plan on taking notes or

otherwise paying attention at all during this course, now would be a great time
to start.
Thats because this concept that I am about to describe is so profound, it forms
the foundation of everything else that I will teach in this course. It gives you a
way to understand women that will work when dealing with any real-life
situation. This is the biggest concept in this chapter, so get ready:
Personally, I like to call it the emotional attraction scale.
Im going to keep it simple for the time being. Ultimately, the emotional
attraction concept is not a hard one to understand. Ill put it in easy terms for
now.
Picture a scale that runs from 1 at the lowest to 10 at the highest. 1 represents
the smallest possible amount of emotion that a girl can feel or have towards
you. This is the place where a girl is apathetic towards you. She may or may not
even know you exist.
Or, you may be friends, but you may be trapped deep in the friend zone. (Dont
despair in either of these situations, by the way, as I can help you get out of
them quickly and easily.) She may even feel disgusted by youthis is pretty
much the worst place you can be in terms of a relationship with a girl.
A 10, on the other hand, represents the height of impassioned desire. This is a
healthy, positive sense of desire that a girl feels for you if you practice the
techniques Ill teach you later on. She really wants you, with a desire so strong it
may feel more like a need. She openly hits on you, tries to make out with you
you get the idea.
Im going to ask you to roll with me, and try something a bit weird. Are you
ready? Okay: imagine that there is a girl in front of you, and you are talking to
31

hershes pretty cuteand she has a scale mounted on her forehead. The
scale has a 1 on one side and a 10 on the other side. You see from the
manufacturers label that it is an Emotional Attraction Meter; it lets you know
on a real-time basis how attracted the girl is to you.
So while youre talking to this girl, you can see her attraction level going up and
down based on what you do and what you say to her. You find that when you
say certain things or look at her in certain ways, her attraction level goes up,
and when you say or do other things, it goes down.
You can see that it bounces back and forth quickly and easily, but that its
virtually impossible to figure out a pattern. What kinds of things make the
attraction meter go up? What makes it come back down?
Now, if youre one of those unfortunate guys whos experienced having a girl
show lots of interest in you, but then seem to lose interest after a few days or
weeksthis means that the scale on her forehead had to undergo a major shift.
It went from, say, a 9, down to about a 3. What caused this dramatic change?
Well go into specifics later, but Ill warn you for now that while it is far easier
than you think to trigger attraction, it is also far easier than you think to kill it.
In fact, the issue isnt even really that the scale fell in the first place. The real
problem in the situation is that youve allowed it to remain down around 3, and
done nothing to change that. Youve given up, in fact, chalked it up to your
terrible luck or your lack of skill with womenIm sure you know how the story
goes from here. Youve been in this situation before, many times. If you hadnt,
you probably would not be reading this book right now.
On the other hand, with the formulas and techniques that I am going to teach
you, you can start to make the transition to having the experience of a guy who
actually knows how to be successful with a girl. You can emulate the guys who
truly know what they are doing around women: this means keeping that
emotional attraction level up around 8 or higher. This is the kind of a guy whos
developed the ability to almost see a dial on real girls foreheads.

32

So when he sees the dial changing, he can instantly alter his behavior. This he
does habitually. And ultimately, he gets what he wants most of the time as a
result. But perhaps even more importantly, he knows a few key things about
how the meter works, and what makes it go up and down, that really give him
the edge with girls.
He knows, for example, that waiting around does nothing. He understands that
you cant just wait around for things to get better. This is because an emotional
attraction meter in motion will remain in motion until you do something about
it. That means that if the emotional attraction level starts to fall, he has to act
quickly. He knows its never going to go back up unless he does something to
make it go back up. And he knows he has to act fast, so he can salvage what
little attraction is left.
You may have had an experience like this before: youre hanging around a girl,
and she acts like she is incredibly crazy for you the first couple days you hang
out. She texts you, calls you, wants to hang out with you all the timeits great.
But then, all of a sudden, she seems to vanish.
Its like she got to know you a bit, and all of a sudden started to drift away. Its
as if she has started to lose interest, or become bored with you. Something is
definitely not right. And before you know it, she wont take your calls or
respond to your texts. Its like she just moved on without any warning at all.
Does that sound familiar? For all too many guys, it is the unfortunate reality.
Or, it may have played out in some other way. Heres another common one: you
meet a girl, and you make a huge impact on her early on, and she is really into
youready to date or hookup. You get all the signs that she was interested, and
maybe you even get a chance to fool around, or go on a date or two. Youre
sitting pretty on cloud nine, when things change, and fast.
All of a sudden, she starts playing hard to get. You chase after her for a while,
but as time goes on, shes making it harder and harder for you to chase.
Eventually, she makes things so incredibly difficult for you that it seems like an
impossibility just trying to make it to the next level of the relationship.
33

Youre caught between a rock and a hard place: it seems like she likes you, or at
least that she used to like you, but youre stalled behind her wall of hard-to-get,
and you cant seem to break past it.
Whats happening in any of the above cases is always simple, always the same:
the scale in her head, the one that measures emotional attraction, has swung
from a high, intense level of attraction, all the way down to the lower levels of
apathy. Youre caught somewhere in the middle at this point, and youre
probably not sure what to do. Well touch on how to get out of these kinds of
situations later.
For now, just to make sure you really understand this concept well, Im going to
break down all ten levels for you, so you can see how they all fit together, and
what each one means.
Youll be able to see some signs and symptoms that indicate where a girls
emotional attraction level isand youll probably see some things that strike
you as familiar. This list may help you put some past experiences into a new
perspective, since now youll really understand what was going on the whole
time.
Using this list, and a little bit of hands-on practice, you should be able to tell
instantly where a girls attraction level is, and youll know how to change your
behavior in order to get her attraction level right where you want it, all in realtime.
Now, that doesnt mean your training ends here. While I encourage you to
always be experimenting, always talking to women whenever possible, I am
going to give you more than just this in the way of training. Well talk about
specifics for moving from one attraction level to another in a later chapter. For
now, just get used to what each one looks and feels like:
Levels 1-2: Little To No Attraction Phase.
This is the first level. Its the level of strangers, and of the creepy sweaty guy
34

who was hitting on me in that bar. This level represents complete apathy, and
maybe even a little active aversion. If youre in a relationship with a girl, and its
gotten to the point that her emotional attraction level is down around 1 or 2,
then you had better act fastotherwise, shes probably going to dump you
very, very soon.
There is absolutely no attraction here whatsoever. If there is any, it is small, and
overwhelmed by emotions that she feels much more strongly, like:
Boredom
Disinterest
Aversion
Displeasure
Gnawing disappointment
Apathy
Complete lack of care
Levels 3-4: Some Attraction, Friend Zone.
If youve ever tried your luck with women, then you probably know about this
level all too well, from painful personal experience. If youre committed to a girl,
and her attraction level has fallen down to the 3s and 4s, youre probably
getting a strong vibe that she treats you and thinks of you like a friend, not as a
highly attractive person.
Youre not going to get much emotion on her end down in the 3s and 4s. In
fact, if youre just casually dating a girl, and her attraction level falls down to
here, youre likely about to get friend-zoned. Thats a tough place to get out of,
even for a guy like me, so I definitely recommend you avoid any chance of ever
ending up in the friend zone. Here are the common signs that youre in this
level
Treats you nice. Not interested, just nice.
Generally seems to enjoy your company, but thats all.
35

Politely indifferent.
Levels 5-6: Hot &Cold Attraction
Heres a situation you may have seen before: you meet a girl, and she seems
intensely attracted to you. The next day, shes totally cold and distant. Then, the
next day, she seems to be head-over-heels into you again, but the following day
brings another cold shoulder. Whats going on here?
This is classic female behavior when her emotional attraction level is down
around 5 or 6. She goes back and forth on your attractiveness. She may find
herself extremely attracted to you one moment, and then completely
indifferent the next. This is a frustrating level, both because its so close to
where you want to be, and because her going from hot to cold all the time can
start to seem like a real tease.
Predominant Emotions:
Wishy-Washy
Unsure
Ambivalent
Uncertainty
Doubtfulness
Levels 7-8: Strong Attraction
If youve worked your way up to a level 7 or 8 on the emotional attraction scale,
youre finally in genuine good shape. The girl will feel pleasant around you, and
will probably seek out your company. She likely acts as if she feels at ease
around you.
This is not the ideal place, but it looks and feels good when you get a girl to this
point. She definitely finds you attractive, and that just makes the sparks fly all
the faster and all the hotter when the two of you are together now.

36

You know what this state feels like if youve ever been in a relationship. Leading
up to the start of the relationship, you feel a growing sense of attraction to the
person. This level would represent the moment at which you realized you liked
her.
Predominant Emotions:
Excitement
Passion
Fondness
Interest
Curiosity
Giddiness
Desire
Levels 9-10: Extreme, Intense Attraction
And so we finally arrive at levels 9 and 10, the pinnacle of impassioned desire.
This is the place where shes truly hot for you.
This is the level where a girl feels mesmerized by you. When a girl is working
within the range of the 9th and 10th levels, she will feel a strong inner need to
be with you, as much as possible, and will not be able to curb her desire toward
you. Keep her here, and she will actually go insane until you give her what she
wantswhich will be you.
Ill really feel like Ive done my job if I can get you, over the course of this book,
to be able to take a girl from levels 1 or 2 up to a 9 or 10 with a high rate of
consistency. By the end of this book, you should know how to do it, be able to
do it, and if you fail, know exactly what went wrong.
Predominant Emotions:
Bliss
Enthrallment
Thrills
Consistent passion
Infatuation
37

Obsession
puppy love
Before we take this any further, I have a little bit of homework Im going to
assign you. We need to figure out where you normally stand on this scale with
the women you meet in your daily life. Im going to ask you to sit down and
analyze all the relationships, Platonic or otherwise, that you have with women
right now. I want you to rank each relationships emotional attraction level.
Which of the categories above best describes most of your relationships with
members of the opposite sex?
If, for example, you find that most of the time when you meet a girl, she seems
interested to begin with, but as time goes on you realize that shes put you in
the friend zone, then youre at about a 3-4 on the emotional attraction scale.
If you find that you dont really have a lot of relationships with women in your
life, or perhaps even none at all, then that counts like a series of 1s and 2s. By
no means are you hopeless, but youre going to have to overcome some
internal barriers if you really want to be able to make the change. But thats no
reason to worry at all, because that is specifically what this book is designed to
do for you.
But lets get back to business, shall we?
So once youve got a good idea (from reading the descriptions above) where
you stand on this scale of emotional attraction, youre ready to move on to the
next chapter. As we move into Chapter 3, Ill be teaching you what to do with
this new information.
Ill also give the scoop on some other tips on how the female mind works, and
dispel some myths that have some guys enslaved to insane workout routines
and 80-hour work weeks, trying to land the perfect chick with their big biceps
or a fat wallet. Check out the next chapter to find out why you actually need
neither of these things, or a host of others that most guys believe you
absolutely have to have.
38

Chapter 3 What Are You Truly Worth?

Lets be honest with each other for a second:
You probably already know that whenever you go to talk to any girl, shes
subconsciously evaluating you. Below the level of her conscious awareness (and
yours), shes sizing you up, checking you out, and deciding whether youd make
a good potential mate.
And thats just the game that goes on constantly between men and women. Its
how the species survives.
For our purposes, its important you understand that this process happens
below the level of your conscious awareness. Sure, you become aware that you
are attracted to someone, but the mechanics all happen under the surface,
behind the scenes. It happens in the background: its an automatic,
evolutionary process that doesnt need our conscious involvement to work. Its
like the beating of your heart.
For example, you and I, though we may not be aware of them, have yardsticks
in our minds that we use to judge the people we run into on a day-to-day basis.
Were not aware of many of these yardsticks, but theyre still there, and they
still operate.
You might see a fancy-looking fellow with perfect hair and a white smile cruising
around town in a Lamborghini: if you did, you took those details and made
some judgments about him. You probably assume that he is rich, maybe that he
is ruthless or cold, attractive or unattractiveyou can make all sorts of
judgments based on those few details.
And when you meet someone in real life, you really are making those
judgments about them. Those judgments change how you respond to someone
down at that deep, impulsive level we talked about in the previous chapter.
39

Heres the kicker: when you sit down to try and figure out what someone else
thinks of you, you tend to judge yourself by your own standards, not their
standards.
So you end up with a pretty mangled picture of what other people think of you.
In this case, thats a problem because it directly affects how you think the
women in your life think of you. That was quite a mouthful, but heres the good
news: most of what you think a woman really wants in a man has nothing to do
with what women actually really want in men.
Most men, unfortunately, are walking around with a lot of wrong-headed ideas
about what women actually find valuable or attractive in men. Some really
attractive guys never do anything with their natural tools and talents because
they have entirely the wrong idea of how attractive they are.
They think they dont have much to offer, when nothing could really be further
from the truth. Theyve got plenty of traits that girls are after. In fact, I hear girls
complain that there arent more guys like them around. And yet they never get
girls because they dont understand that they actually are quite attractive.
After seeing far too many genuinely good guys end up completely confused and
utterly frustrated, I finally made the decision to teach these techniques to as
wide an audience as possible. Id hate to think that a guy who really had
something to offer women was going home alone every night.
Hes missing out on all the fun he could be having, and all those women are
missing out on experiencing him as the great partner he could (and I think,
should) be.
There is another class of guys out there who have it all wrong. These are the
guys who spend hour after sweaty hour in the gym sculpting these perfect
bodies that they are just certain are going to get them laid.

40

Many of them remain disappointed weekend after weekend when they cant
seem to hold a girls attention. Ive met countless other guys who live Spartan
lives and eat nothing but Ramen noodles because they are convinced that all
they need to do is save up enough money, and women will start to find them
attractive.
These guys want nothing more than for the girls they like to want them as well.
Im here to help make sure that happens, by making sure youre armed with as
much knowledge and as many techniques as possible. Im here to explain to you
that regardless of what your money situation or your muscle situation might be,
you can follow and use these techniques and meet with tremendous success
with women.
But you probably still think that its about muscles and money, huh?
So, in other words, youre saying a guy loaded with money, probably a
zillionaire, should be absolutely swimming in chicks, right? Maybe guys who win
bodybuilding championships should get more action than porn stars.
You and I both know that neither of those things are true. In fact, zillionaires
and bodybuilding champs probably have fewer options than you do right now.
Sure, a girl might go after a septuagenarian tycoon in the hopes of getting at his
vast fortune. But thats not really attraction. Thats closer to gold digging, and
that is not a technique that I teach in this book. You do not need to be rich for
these techniques to work. I think gold digging takes the joy out of the chase. I
wouldnt want a womans attention just because I had a lot of money in the
bank. Or, for that matter, because of how many pushups I could do.
Lets take a brief trip (in our minds) back to the early years of humanitys
evolution, when we were little more than upright monkeys, wandering around
collecting berries and making crude war on each other with rocks and sticks
(and lewd cave-paintings). Money had yet to be invented at this early period,
41

but there was still a great way to determine who had the most valuable pile of
stuff, and that was food.
Food was life. Whoever had the most food was the most likely to survive the
longest, and thus the most likely to reproduce. Were the descendants of the
early humans who won. The ones who gathered the most food. Thats another
comforting thought. But I digress
That food was the ultimate measure of a mans material success did not mean
that women chose their mates only based on how much food they could gather.
I mean, Im sure the guy in the village who killed the most deer probably had
slightly better prospects than a skinny fisherman, but more goes into the
decision than just that.
After all, skinny fishermen need love, too. And they got it, often enough. The
same is true today. You might improve your chances with a slick car or six-pack
abs, but youll ultimately miss whats most important if you dont investigate
what Im teaching you here as well.
I also meet plenty of men who have another false idea about women. These
guys seem to think that if they can just become good enough at something, or
do something really big and significant, that theyll somehow magically become
more attractive to women overnight.
This works for rock stars. And for approximately zero other kinds of people.
Now, if your plan is to become a rock star, then by all means I encourage you to
go for it. I encourage you to take that route, if that lifestyle seems like a good
one to you. But massive achievements in mid-level corporate HR, on the other
hand, no matter how staggering, are unlikely to make any giggling gaggles of
girls swoon anytime in the near future.
The big takeaway here, that Ive spent the last couple of pages rambling about,
is that you have to drop what you think you already know about women.
Especially drop what you think you know about how women judge your value.
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Once again, and Im repeating this because it is important, it has nothing to do

with your car, your muscles, or any skill you might have or be able to get. Those
things are nice, and if they help you, then thats great, but they are all beside
the point.
Lets take a quick detour here, in the form of a story. I have this extremely good
friend. Hes a great guy to party with, but he absolutely hates doing work of any
kind. I dont mean as in Id really rather sleep in today hates work. I mean as
in I havent had a job in six months hates work. And on top of that, hes
horrible with what little money he does have.
This good friend of mine is really happy right now, because he recently met a
lovely young lady. She comes from a very wealthy family. As of this writing, their
marriage is scheduled for a few months from now. She absolutely cannot wait.
The real kicker here is that my very good friend declared bankruptcy a few
months ago. Less than a year before his wedding. And he really didnt seem to
mind.
Obviously the guy had to tap into something besides money to attract his
gorgeous fiance. Something so powerful, in fact, that she would be willingas
she isto give up her upscale lifestyle, and exchange it for a distinctly belowaverage quality of life, because she really wants to be with this particular man.
She would rather have financial issues for the rest of her life than have to be
without him. And at the risk of insulting him publicly (sorry, pal), he doesnt
have much else going for him. Hes of average height and has a reasonable
amount of intelligence. And I suppose he does have his talents, but hes not a
game-changing expert at anything.
On the other end of the spectrum, I remember a student of mine who looked
like a real Adonis. This guy was a Greek sculpture made into a tower of living
flesh. He worked out all the time, and was extremely active in several different
sports, so he was in great physical shape. And he had a rock-solid, chiseled
jawline. He was an impressive specimen.

43

But we met under distinctly more somber circumstances: he originally came to

me after his girlfriend dumped him, for reasons he couldnt make any sense of,
for a nerdy-looking guy who didnt have half of what this guy had.
I know youve probably run into people like these two beforeor maybe youve
been one of them before. Either way, it doesnt matter. These situations dont
really make much sense to most guys, but they really do happen in reality, and
this is actually how they work. This guy had somehow lost his girlfriends
affection, to the point that she had actually dumped him for another guy. And
that other guy did not have as much to offer.
I helped him to see what he was doing wrong, how he was unwittingly
communicating to his girlfriend that he was of low value. Consequently, she
treated him that way. Eventually, she ran into a guy who communicated a much
higher level of value, and eventually her emotional attraction level for the
nerdy, second guy became much higher than it was for her boyfriend.
Somewhere in between these two extremes are those guys who seem to have
three out of the four numbers to the combination that unlocks the ability to
stimulate desire in a girl. They think that if they just treat the girl real nice,
impress her with their gentlemanly manners and respectful air, and in all ways
really act like a stand-up guy, the girl will eventually find herself overwhelmed
with desire.
Ive seen a lot of men try this strategy. Ive seen a lot of men fail using it. In fact,
I think its worked maybe once or twice in the whole history of the 19 th and 20th
centuries. Maybe three times. But I seriously doubt it. Instead, the guys who
insist on sticking with this plan usually find themselves friend-zoned or, worse,
used for their goodwill and favors.
Not to put too fine a point on this, youll end up somewhere in the 2s and 3s
taking that approach. It does not work. At all.

44

Which brings me to an important concept, one very similar to the emotional

attraction scale we went over in the last chapter. Just like that other scale, this
one runs from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest.
This scale is not called the emotional attraction scale, however, though what it
measures is quite similar to emotional attraction. This scale is called the
Perceived Value Scale. So, if youre high up on the scale, say a 7 or an 8, you are
a person of high value. You are the kind of person that a girl would feel lucky to
date, because she has decided according to her own, internal ideas that youre a
person of high value.
Okay, you might be saying to yourself, so if it aint the cash, and it aint the looks
how exactly do women pick the guys they really find attractive? What makes
a guy have a greater or lesser value in a girls mind?
In my studies on the subject, I have read a lot of books, and done a lot of field
research as well. The best way to think about it that I have found goes
something like this: there are essentially three highly important, core elements
to determining a mans value.
Theres much more to your personality than this, and of course youll be more
likely to have things in common with some girls than with others. But these
three factors represent the most important causes affecting how valuable she
sees you as a potential mate. The three factors are:
1-Emotional dominance.
2-Self-assurance.
3-The attainability factor.
Lets take these one by one to make digesting the information a little bit easier.
Emotional dominance refers to your ability to control your own emotions in
day-to-day situations. This doesnt mean not having those emotions. It means
45

that when they do arise, you know what to do to deal with them, and you can
still function more or less as you would if you werent having the strong
emotion.
The kind of person who crumples up and surrenders at the first sign of trouble
or problems is not a person with a high emotional dominance. Someone who
can act, despite experiencing strong or difficult emotions, gives off a confident
air that girls can smell miles away.
Heres a good example that should drive home the point effectively. When you
go to talk to a girl, you probably feel at least a little bit nervous. I dont mean
calling up a female friend to chat. I mean approaching a girl who you have never
met before in a public or semi-public setting. Especially a really hot girl.
Do you start sweating when you do this? Do your knees start to feel a little bit
shaky? Does your face get hot and red really easily? Maybe you have a hard
time coming up with something to say, or a topic of conversation? Do you
perhaps find yourself compulsively worried about rejection from her?
Okay, now picture a guy with none of those problems. He comes off as
confident and collected, even when he is unsure of himself. He has reached a
high degree of internal emotional control, and that makes him highly attractive
to women. This is the essence of emotional dominance, and it is the first of the
three attributes that give a man value in a womans eyes.
Heres a good way to think about it that will help you to understand how this
dynamic really works: a really hot girl has probably long been accustomed to
seeing men get nervous and stutter-y around her. She knows that she is
attractive, and she knows it makes a lot of guys tongue-tied.
But nobody can be attracted to someone whos afraid of them, so all those truly
hot girls out there spend a lot of time secretly looking for the kind of guy who
will treat them like a normal, everyday person, and make them feel good about
themselves, instead of swooning because they are so hot.
46

The guy who can swallow his fear of rejection and stroll right over to say hello
gets the girls attention, because hes already proved he can overcome his
nerves. That kind of confidence is always sexy. Which brings us to #2.
Lets examine self-assurance next. Its not entirely distinct from emotional
dominance: a guy who can control his emotional state can be self-assured if he
decides to be so.
So, you might say that #2 builds on #1, though they are not truly the same
thing. Self-assurance is the quality that allows you to still feel good about
yourself, regardless of whether youre getting the response you want out of the
girl. This translates into greater emotional dominance, and the ability to handle
difficult situations and difficult people with confidence and cool.
Lets talk big picture for a second: most guys go about this backwards, and they
end up going home alone as a result. Most guys go into a situation trying to get
a girl to like them. These guys are doing whatever they can to impress the girl,
get her attention, and, if possible, win her admiration. If this gambit works,
theyre happy. Theyre getting the attention they want, and the girl is getting a
guys loving care. Everybody wins; everybodys happy.
Well, at least everybody stays happy until the guy stops getting that attention
and admiration from the girl. Suddenly, things are just as terrible now as they
were awesome a moment ago.
Guys who stay here long enough end up thinking that they have to lower their
standards way down, when in fact thats completely unreasonable and stupid
theres absolutely nothing wrong with them at all. Theyve just been using
female attention to gauge their own worth, and their own attractiveness.
This is where self-assurance really sorts the winners from the losers. You and I
both know that girls are all about secret tests: she will throw a thousand a three
tests at you in the course of your courtship. Shell want to see how confident
you are, what your values are, and how self-assured you can remain in the face
47

of having someone (her) push your boundaries or mess with them.

Generally, if you bend easily and quickly, you get pushed into the category of a
push-over, or someone of low value. A person who does not bend so easily or
quicklywho has a more resilient self-image or stronger self-esteem, you might
saygenerally gets chalked up as the person of higher value. They are more
emotionally dominant, and more self-assured.
Its not easy to keep your cool in the face of secret tests, rejectionall the
things that tug at your self-esteem when you put yourself out there for a girl.
But using the techniques in this book, youll be able to get out there and
practice without letting it get to you when you dont score. Its the second great
benefit to self-assurance: it allows you to get out there and practice these
principles with ease. If youre okay with yourself whether the girl likes you or
not, its much easier to go up to her and try to strike up a conversation.
And so we come to the final factor. This one works rather differently from the
others. It shouldnt be hard to figure out how, though.
You know that there are some girls who are just so hot that you feel like you
could never get a date with them, no matter how hard you tried. Those are the
girls who seem to belong to the rock stars and the professional football players
exclusively. You could never get her (all of this is wrong, as well see later on, but
plenty of guys walk around telling themselves this all day long).
Thats a girl you see as unattainable. Women use this same factor when
considering who theyre attracted to. You could have great emotional
dominance, tremendous self-assurance, and still not get the girl, because you
dont seem attainable.
Youve seen girls before who were really attractive, but who just seemed
completely unapproachable. Maybe they had a negative expression on their
face, or you could see that they did not treat people who approached them
very well: whatever the reason, it can really take points off a persons
48

attractiveness level. And that phenomenon operates in women as well as in

men.
To take this even further, consider it from this angle: have you ever heard of the
principle from psychology called scarcity? Its not that complicated. If you
know what the word scarce means, you more or less already get the idea.
Things that have scarcity are generally considered to have a higher value. The
less of it there is, the more valuable it is. This is why gold is so valuable: there is
not very much of it out there. It is scarce.
Most guys are walking around completely ignorant of this concept. Therefore,
they continue to do the single worst possible thing they could do in the
situation. They throw themselves after women, trying to chase them. They
make themselves easily attainable for the girl.
They do everything they can to get the girl to like them, and all that pursuit
tends to get them assigned a low value level. They talk to the girl as often as
possible, and they may even ask the girl out repeatedly.
Of course, you can try and pull back your efforts, but then dont you risk being a
wallflower? Its a thin line to walk, but well go more in-depth on this topic in a
later chapter. For the time being, Im keeping it pretty simplistic, so we can
cover a lot of material quickly. Well go in and fill in the cracks later on.
Some of the stuff were going to go into in these later chapters, on how to go
from chasing the girl to having her chase you, will show you some very clever
methods. You may have some of the biggest insights of your life while youre
reading the material.
Now, thats not to say this is not going to take practice. You have to actually
apply this stuff. Memorizing this book or the techniques in it will get you zero
results. You have to go out there, and be willing to fail. Thats important,
because its the glue that holds all the rest of these techniques together. But its
okay, because its just practice.
49

But lets stick with baby steps for the time being. Just remember: two scales.
The emotional attraction scale, and the value scale.
So far, weve covered that the emotional attraction scale measures how
powerful a girls emotional responses to you are. Weve talked about how it
goes from apathetic or disgusted all the way up to powerfully turned on and
desiring you.
The value scale measures how valuable you are as a mate: this is the real metric
that girls use to decide who the most desirable guy in the room is. They dont
look at your body or your bank account, but instead measure your value based
on your emotional dominance, or ability to control your emotions and act
despite them, your self-assurance, or ability to hold your own in the world, and
your attainability. Part of this is based on the concept of scarcity, so the rare
man and the exotic man get extra points for being unusual.
For the next part of this program, just remember that you need to keep both
the emotional attraction level and the value level as high as you can. This is
what creates that impulsive desire, which operates below the threshold of
consciousness, and fills her with a need for you that goes beyond logic or sense.

50

Chapter 4 The Sweet Spot of Desire

In just a moment, Im going to add some concepts to the few that weve
discussed in the last few chapters. What Im about to tell you here and in the
chapters which follow are going to completely seal the deal for you. Youll finally
start to understand just how you can start to get a girl into a never-ending loop
of attraction. She will be absolutely hooked to you once you learn and start to
put these concepts into practice.
When you read some of the personal stories and techniques in this book, you
will start to feel a sense that you can actually put these principles into practice,
and that you really can start to make the results that Im going to talk about
possible in your own life. Hold on to that feeling, because it is the truth, and I
know how great it feels to finally start to have hope that you can really set this
area of your life straight and really enjoy the fruits that it has to offer.
Hopefully, if youve been paying attention up to this point, you now understand
two new major concepts. I know, weve talked about a lot of different subjects,
but moving forward these are the main two that you must remember:
We discussed the emotional attraction scale, which refers to the way a girls
emotional state changes when she hangs around you. It goes from a 1, which
refers to complete apathy or disgust, all the way up to 10, intense, burning
desire.
Your score on the value scale reflects your social worth in a situation. It
comes from your emotional dominance, or your ability to control yourself
despite your emotional state, your self-assuredness, or your ability to control
yourself regardless of whats going on around you, and your attainability
score: your attainability reflects whether a girl thinks of you as in her league
or not.
If you seem too dreamy to be real, for example, shes not going to be very
51

interested in you. In that situation, having more money or doing more pushups
would make the problem worseyoud get less attainable.
So now that youve assimilated all of that, its time to take it to the next level.
And youre probably already wondering how these two fit togetherhow
having these two scales is supposed to help you get the girl.
But before we do any of that, Im going to rant for a few minutes. Take a seat
and pop some popcornif youre into that kind of thingand lets discuss
something that is very close to my heart. Over the last eight years or so, Ive
read quite a few books on the art and science of understanding and attracting
women. Ive also gone to more than my shareby which I mean hundredsof
boot camps, weekend classes, and seminars on the same topic.
And theres one thing I see everywhere that sometimes actually makes me a
little angry. Youve almost certainly heard of it before, and youve probably
become frustrated with it yourself, as well.
Thats the idea that you have to play hard to get in order to be really attractive
to a woman. I find this idea to be complete nonsense, for the very simple
reason that the girl has to be into you before playing hard to get even works. If
youre not already the kind of guy who has girls interested in him, then playing
hard to get will turn you into a wallflower quickly.
It frustrates me because the technique would work, if the guy was in a position
to be able to use it. So playing hard to get is actually useless, because by the
time youre able to use it (the girl is already into you, in other words), you dont
actually need it anymore (the girl is already into you, in other words).
You may be one of the manynay, mostmen who cant really afford the
luxury of playing hard to get right now. Down the road, once you have the
confidence and knowledge to be attractive to women almost effortlessly, then
maybe hard to get might become something worth spending some time on.

52

For now, we need you to be able to take the initiative. There is not much room
for taking the initiative in hard to get.
I was one such guy a few years back, when I attended one of my first seminars. I
was just getting into learning how to create desire in women at will, and I still
had a lot to learn. Id been reading about this concept of playing hard to get,
and hearing guys at seminars talking about it, but I hadnt really been able to
get it to click in my head: I didnt know how to play hard to get.
So I was excited when, as I sat down in the first session of the evening, I saw
that one of the speakers was going to talk about playing hard to get.
I enjoyed the rest of the seminar, sure, but honestly, I spent most of the time
waiting for the segment on playing hard to get. This question had really been
bugging me, and I was anxious to get it answered.
So finally, the moment arrived. They announced the next segment, and the
speaker came out. He was an average-looking guy, no clocks around his neck or
crazy sunglasses or anything like that. And he did talk about playing hard to get.
But I found that listening to him talk was not really answering any of my
questions. In fact, on the contrary, the more I listened, the more I started to feel
like maybe the problem wasnt with me, but with the explanation, and maybe
even the technique itself.
So I raised my hand. He called on me, and stood there, arms folded, waiting to
graciously share his vast knowledge with a little ignorant peon like me.
How do you play hard to get if the girl isnt trying to get you in the first place?
What if she isnt even paying any attention to you?
He was already shaking his head and trying to interrupt me before I got to the
end of my question. Well well go over that later, he said nervously. And
that was all he said. He just moved on. Of course, my question never really was
53

answered. I was beginning to suspect that these self-appointed female

psychology experts and dating advice gurus didnt understand playing hard to
get any more than I did.
I found it hard to sit through the rest of the seminar. The longer he talked, and
the clearer it became that he was not going to answer my question, the more I
felt that all his advice was useless, and all his tricks were lame.
But what he was saying was bringing up more questions, so maybe it was a
good thing that I sat through the rest of the seminar after all.
In fact, the very next thing he said piqued my interest. Never show her that
you are needy, he said. Always hang up on her first when you are talking on
the phone.
He instructed us to make sure that the girl understood that we were already
very busy most of the time, and in no way was she anything more than a
passing acquaintance. It would be okay to let her know that we found her
interesting, but not that interesting. Make sure she knows, he said, that she
is not the center of your universe.
Youve probably heard some of this advice before, if youre read other, more
orthodox books about picking up women. And I wont deny that any of those
things might be useful, under the right circumstances. The problem is that so
few people ever find themselves in those circumstances.
So you might say that while that advice sounds good in theory and looks good
on paper, it really doesnt carry over into the real world well enough to really
help you get better with women, at all.
Why, you ask?
Its simple. Youve probably already got a basic notion of how this works, from
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experience in your own life. If youre in a crowded bar or room at a party, and
you see a girl you find attractive and somehow you make it a point to not look
at her or pay any attention to her all nightplay hard to getshes never going
to be aware that youre interested.
Thats a bit of a silly example, since nobody actually advises doing that, but it
highlights the real problem with the play hard to get advice crowd.
So, for an example a little bit closer to reality, think of this: if you know a girl,
and you play hard to get by always appearing busy or too distracted to really
hang out with her or give her your full attention, you might get her attention.
Or, she might wonder why youve been so distracted recently.
This could lead to things like long talks that last until the early hours of the
morning, comforting hugslots of getting close and connecting. This is great
if youve been fishing for a new BFF, but not great if youre trying to get a girl
really attracted to you.
If she was already a little attracted, however, then all the play-acting might
work. It would make her want to be a bigger part of your life, and get more of
your attention.
Ive even seen some guys who had the worst of both worlds happen to them:
they played hard to get with a girl who had expressed a lot of interest, some of
them just for the fun of the game, and they ended up losing the girl in the
process. That was heartbreaking to see, especially since it really did a number
on the guys confidence, in one particular case.
So lets dispel this nonsensical fantasy once and for all, and replace it with the
truth.
Here is the deal.

55

Playing hard to get works when it works, which is rarely. The truth is that its not
really that important. You could never play hard to get once and still get all the
chicks you could possibly want using only other techniques.
Instead, whats really important, and what well focus on here, is hitting her
sweet spot of desire.
This is the bulls-eye, the A+. This is the point where youve done everything
right and created a powerful and consistent desire for you that only gets
stronger as time goes on. You may not get here every single time, especially not
at first, but your numbers will only get better with time. Getting any girl you
want any time you want come with mastery of this program.
To understand how to get to this sweet spot of desire in the girl youre after,
there are two important principles that we need to talk about first.
1 Show interest in her first: Not only is it important at the early stages that
you do show interest, its important that you show a lot of interest. One look
across a crowded room is not going to cut it. Asking for her phone number
might.
2 Dont pull back so far that it overwhelms her: This is where more guys fail
than anywhere else. Its extremely easy to not talk to her or not hang out with
her and sit in your room, daydreaming about how she must be at home quaking
with desire and working on her closet shrine to you. Its also extremely easy to
lose a girl like this. Make sure that when you do pull back, that you dont
become inaccessible. Or else shell vanish.
After the boot camp featuring the play hard to get speaker, I really did try to
follow his advice, as I did every speaker whose seminars or talks I went to. I
followed his instructions, because I was looking for something that worked.
I tried this with a girl a few months later. I met her at a party, and we hung out a
56

few times. I had started not answering her texts immediately, having plans all
the time, and doing everything else Id been instructed to do by the selfappointed and so-called relationship and dating advice gurus. This first girl told
me a few weeks after I met her that I seemed, to her, extremely uptight, and
didnt think that we could ever have much chemistry as a result.
I was weirded out when this happened. I wont lie. And, honestly, there were
two reasons for my confusion. Firstly, I really believed in the principles I was
learning. Sure, the guy at the seminar hadnt been the best, but I had really put
my faith into these techniques, and I had just seen them fail miserably.
I knew that there was a chance that maybe I had screwed it up somehow, but it
made me suspicious, and curious to find out if there was any way I could alter
this state of affairs.
The second girl I tried this on told me that she really wasnt into guys who
played mind games like this. She told me that she could never really tell if I
was interested in her or not, and while she thought I was really attractive, she
wasnt ready to get into anything serious with someone who wanted to play
those kinds of games.
This was troubling, to say the least. Twice in a row Id tried this, and twice in a
row Id been burned. Eventually, however, as I did more research, especially
field research, and tweaked my technique, I found out what the roots of my
troubles really were.
The problem was not with me, or even with the girls on whom I had tried the
technique. The problem was that I wasnt coming on strong enough, and I was
pulling back too far. The result was that I left a bad impression instead of a
tantalizingly good one, and the girls lost interest as a result.
This was the research that eventually led to the creation of the Sweet Spot idea,
and the method that Im going to teach you to make sure that you get there.

57

Lets get down to business on hitting that sweet spot of desire, shall we? The
principles, you see, are extremely simple. This is the kind of knowledge that
takes a few minutes to explain, but which can take years to go out there and
acquire on your own.
First things first: you have to show enough interest in her that she actually does
realize that you are interested in her. Be bold and confident at this stage. Dont
worry about appearing desperate or stupid, right now. You will appear to be
both of those things at one point or another as you learn this stuff.
Most guys are still going right to the playing hard to get part and assuming that
this alone is going to somehow get girls interested in them. Well, Im sorry to
have to burst your bubble, guysthough Id be willing to bet at least some of
you were already starting to suspect that maybe this whole play hard to get
thing was not quite as effective as youd been led to believe it wasbut it
doesnt work that way. At all.
Now, once youve expressed that interest, preferably in a powerful way that
shell find extremely memorable or enticing, you have to pull back. Now, pulling
back does not mean disappearing completely, or becoming too good to hang
out with her. This is what most guys end up doing, and they end up way overdoing it and finding themselves with very few girls interested in them as a
result.
Instead, try doing it this way: pull back just enough that she has a little bit of
room to try and vie for your attention. She likes a little bit of pursuit, so if you
can get her to wonder a little bit if you really are into her, then youve done
your job well.
If you come off as emotionally unavailable or just too busy to ever be around
her, or worse, like youre playing hard to get, shes going to lose interest and
vanish completely. Its like playing blackjack: the closer your can get to the
sweet spot (21), the better off you are, but if you overdo it, you lose any
chance at all.

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So, to recapitulate quickly: first, give her a strong, positive indication that you
are interested in her. Make sure she gets the impression that you are interested.
Obviously, you dont have to have skywriting and love poems to make this
happen, but you dont want to go too subtle, which is often what many guys do.
Once you have done that, you need to pull back just enough that she gets
interested, but doesnt lose hope.
Ive seen this technique work a great number of timesfar more than any
technique I ever got out of a book ever did. Consequently, Ive got plenty of
stories I could tell you about how this has worked for me, but Ill skip straight to
the best one.
I met a new girl at a party thrown by a friend a few years back. She was there
with some of her friends, and they were acting like they didnt know too many
people at the party. They were hanging out off by themselves, standing in a
circle.
I randomly struck up a conversation with them as I passed by. I saw this
particular girl among the others who I found particularly attractive, so I made it
a point to single her out and talk to her. I randomly introduced myself, and said
the first thing that came to my mind.
At first, things were going okay, I suppose, but they were also a little dry. I could
tell that she was starting to get somewhat uncomfortable: among my many
areas of study has been body language. You start to develop a sixth sense for
how other people are feeling after studying it enough, and I was getting the
message loud and clear.
But this was a few years into my practice and research, and I knew a thing or
two about what to do, by this point. So I said, instantly, Okay, okay, I think I get
whats going on here. You dont like me. Thats okay. Youve got a really pretty
face and you look stunning in that dress, but it looks like your taste is more in
pretty boys. Whatever. My mom still thinks Im the cutest. I chuckled and
started away.

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She chuckled, too, and said as I took the first step away from her, youre
funny.
I stopped and turned around. I looked right at her. I said, You know, the wider
you smile, the prettier you get. Quit that! Stop it right now! I know exactly what
youre up to!
What? she said, confused. Im not Im not trying anything.
I grinned at her, and said, Okay! Quit lying, hun. You are doing everything you
can right now to seduce me with your eyes, and I am here to tell you right now
that it is not going to work, Miss. So how about you go ahead and stop it right
now, because youve been caught, your cover is blown, and I know exactly what
youre up to.
She cracked up laughing, and the ice was broken. Next thing either of us knew,
we were exchanging numbers, and later that night I found myself texting her.
A few hours after talking to her and then texting her, things seemed to be going
absolutely great. However, I could sense that she was starting to lose interest.
She seemed to be getting just a little bit bored.
But like the guy we talked about in the previous chapter who can see the dial
moving on the girls forehead, I knew what was happening. Perhaps more
importantly, however, I knew exactly what to do.
I went by the law of the second principle. Here is what I actually said to her:
You know, Im getting mixed feelings about you. This was after a lull in the
conversation, so it wasnt too bizarre that I said this out of nowhere. She also
responded extremely quickly. As a guy who grew up without getting a lot of
attention from girls, I still appreciate when a girl texts me back really quickly. It
remains to this day a satisfying little reminder of how far Ive come from the
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days when Id sit and wait by the phone for a return text and get nothing.
Anyway, lets get back to the story. As I said, she replied almost instantaneously.
She wanted to know what I meant. What do you mean, she asked, by mixed
feelings?
With a grin on my face, and feeling deeply satisfied with myself, I typed back,
Well, its a little good and a little bad but I cant really describe it just yet.
Anyway, Im really tired, and heading to bed.
I didnt head to bed right that minute, but as I went about my evening activities
at home, I was satisfied to hear my phone ding several times in the other room.
The next day, when I looked at it, I saw that I had received several texts from
her the night before asking me what I meant.
There are plenty more stories where that one came from, and I am definitely
going to share more of them with you. Better yet, soon enough youll be
creating some of your own success stories, and those are better than any
stories that anybody could tell you, no matter how good.
But to break this most recent story here down for right now, you can see that
the first thing I did was to generate curiosity within the girl at the party. I got
her really interested in me with attention-grabbing statements and interesting
conversation. Once I felt sure that I had her hooked (I did get her number, after
all), I pulled back by telling her that I was getting mixed feelings about
something.
She was clearly the subject of my mixed feelings, and she knew that well
enough. What she did not know was what I might be talking about, or what
mixed feelings I might be having. This kept her in a guessing-game zone, but
never once did I give her reason to think that I was not interested at all, or that
she should give up and try elsewhere.

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Youll notice how little I pulled away. All I said was that I was getting mixed
feelings. I didnt go radio silent or blow off any plans with her. I just added a
little spice to the drama of our meeting and exchanging numbers. So I can feel
confident that she is not going to give up completely, or think that being
interested in me is an unwinnable game. In fact, Ive made it just tantalizingly
winnable enough that she really wants to play.
But were just getting our toes wet in the process of getting the girl, and youve
just scratching the surface of the information that were eventually going to
cover in full. So keep reading, and Ill take you the rest of the way through the
process.

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Chapter 5 Leader vs Reactor.

If you have spent the majority of your life under a rock, and the rest of it not
paying attention to what was happening out in the world, then perhaps youve
never heard of the alpha male. I say that because pretty much everyone else
has.
You might also hear him called the masculine man, or any number of other
titles. They all conjure the same image: a tall, handsome man with big muscles
and a deep voice. A real man. (Cue cheerleaders and gunfire.)
There are plenty of guys out there who definitely do not fit that stereotype. In
fact, most men dont. Ive never been one of those guys, and I spent many years
of my life feeling really depressed over that fact.
I also spent a long time being angry that I was never genetically blessed with
those desirable traits. I was taught by society at large and the people in my life
that because of what I looked likemore or less averagethat I would have to
stick to girls who were in my league.
That was just the way things were, I was told. It was cruel, to be sure, but
Nature could be cruel in her own way. I didnt have great genes, and I was just
going to have to live with that. And I should get used to the idea of only hitting
on girls who were approximately as attractive as I judged myself to be.
Now its about to seem like Im going completely off-topic for a second, but it
ties in, so stay with me, here.
I was surfing the Web a while back, and I came across an article that pointed
out something that seems obvious, but that I think few people ever actually
consider.
For the vast, vast majority of human history, there were no mirrors. Most of the
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people who have ever lived had a really good idea what everyone in their lives
looked like except, in most cases, for themselves (people who could pay to have
their portraits painted dont count in this story). And this meant that a lot of
people didnt have any idea how attractive they were.
So how on earth was it possible for people to organize themselves and only go
after people as attractive as they were if they had no idea what they looked
like? Without a concept of whos better-looking than who, its hard to have a
mating processisnt it?
Women in those days chose men based on different qualities far different than
those that most women use today. This makes sense, especially considering
how much has changed in the intervening years. Back then, men were chosen
based on their dominant qualities, for the most part.
This means that the alpha male was generally the one who was dominant,
and therefore normally the one who was able to attract the best mate. He was
generally the best hunter, looked like the best provider, and was obviously the
best protector in the tribe.
These traits all made him very attractive to ancient women.
And while things are totally different now, some things remain absolutely
unchanged. Human attraction is one of them. If you think about how it works
today, you can see just how little has actually changed in the last few thousand
years. There is one important distinction, however, and it is directly related to
the subject matter here, so lets examine it.
The big difference between people getting together thousands of years ago and
people doing it today is that now, the other sex will judge you based on who is
the dominant one in any given interaction.
While we dont really judge attractiveness by whether or not you can kill
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enough moose and find enough oysters anymore, the concept of the alpha, or
in-charge, masculine man, still exists. This is probably because the most
important and basic part of the process still exists: women are still trying to
figure out who is going to make the best mate.
So deep down, in the primal part of the brain where the chemistry of attraction
takes place, she is still trying to figure out at some level whether youll make a
good provider and protector. Dominant men, capable of navigating social
situations with ease, and controlling themselves, come off as great providers to
a womans subconscious, primal brain.
Understanding Dominance and Submissiveness.
There is this guy I know; I met him at a seminar on creating desire in women.
We walked around the convention a bit when we met, there, and headed out to
some of the nearby bars and clubs to hit on women together.
We got to be friends, and we stay in contact to this day. But he remains an
important part of my life, not just because I still talk to him every few weeks,
but also because, at 54 and 38 years old, he taught me how dominant and
submissive roles work.
There was one particular day I remember really clearly. Back when he and I
lived in the same city, wed meet about every week or so at this particular local
restaurant we really liked. Wed hang out there for a few hours, eat a good meal
and have a few drinks, and then sit catching up and talking about random stuff.
We sat down that day, and ordered our regular coffee, same as always.
Now, Id been to this restaurant a few times before, both with my friend and
without him, and I thought I knew who all the waiters and waitresses were. But
today, I guess a new girl had been hired to work there, and she was the one
taking our order.

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She was gorgeous. And I dont just mean solidly good-looking. She was one of
those girls who is so attractive she looks like she doesnt quite belong in the real
world. She was so hot that it was emotionally unsettling to be near her.
Even at this point, when I was starting to get better with women in general in
my life as a result of spending so much time researching and practicing, I was
thrown off, and I stammered a little bit and acted a little bit awkward when I
ordered my coffee. My friend saw me staring. He wasnt about to let me get out
of there without doing something about my attraction.
Hey, he said, grinning, why dont you ask her out?
I dont think thats a good idea. I felt nervous, like I had with all girls before I
started practicing. I guess I still wasnt comfortable with a girl who was that
incredibly attractive. But my friend was absolutely merciless.
Okay, he said. Let me ask her out, then!
He leaned out of the booth we were sitting in, and I saw his face light up as he
made eye contact with her behind me and motioned for her to come over. I
grabbed his arm and pushed him back into the booth, shushing him and waving
the waitress away.
Thats an even worse idea, I said. This girl was about 59, and my friend only
cleared about 54, as I said. He was skinny and looked more or less like a
shrimp next to her. But he didnt seem at all fazed by that.
He just kept right on coming. As soon as she came back with our orderI was
still nervoushe leaned toward her. She was setting down the plates, and just
as she finished, and was about to leave, he said to her, like it was the easiest
thing in the world.

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Hey, my friend here doesnt think I could ask you out. She smiled. She looked
a little uncomfortable. I really just wanted to leave. I thought something really
awkward was about to happen. He thinks you wont say yes, my friend went
on. I was even more mortified. It was still early in my practice: I wasnt that
good at it, yet.
She looked like she was about to say something. In fact, she went so far as to
actually open her mouth an start to speak. But my friend cut her off. He just
kept right on going.
You know, he said. Im a little too short for you. But I think youd probably be
able to manage in the end. I mean, hey, Ive always had a thing for tall girls. I
think they look like lampposts. And youre just about the cutest lamppost Ive
ever come across.
Without missing a beatand keep in mind, the girl still has yet to say a single
word in the entire conversation; all she did was walk up and hand us our food
he sticks his phone in her hands and says to her, Just punch in your number,
there.
I was a little shocked at this point. But I did not realize how much more shocked
I was going to feel when she took the phone, still smiling, and put her number
in willingly. And how jealous I was going to feel. That was amazing, and he made
it look like the easiest thing in the world. And it had taken only a few seconds at
the most. She hadnt even had a moment to get a word in edgewise, to say no
or anything else.
I asked him what hed just done. I asked him how hed done it. I mean, it had
happened right in front of my face, but I still felt like a person who has seen a
magic trick done and cant figure out where the sleight-of-hand took place.
I know its possible, I said, because I just saw you do it. Now tell me how its
possible that you just did what you just did.

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He smiled at me. He looked at me a bit like he was some kind of wise old
mentorwhich I guess, in a way, he wasand proceeded to explain to me the
concept of the leader and the reactor.
A lot of guys are still walking around with the notion that women look at what
you look like, and judge you based on that. Its a travesty they do, considering
how little that matters. A woman is not going to look primarily at what you look
like in order to judge whether shes attracted to you so much as she will look for
clues as to how you see yourself.
In other words, your own view about yourself dictates what the women around
you see. If you currently see yourself as someone who is lacking something that
women want, then they will pick up on this and find you less attractive as a
result.
The good side to that coin is that it means that becoming more attractive to
women means only changing how you see yourself. If you communicate
different things at that primal, subconscious level, then you will start to notice a
marked difference in the way girls respond to you.
So when you master this, and become able to present yourself as a catch, a real
prize, that she has to win over to even think about being able to have in her life,
she will respond to that. And heres the best part: once youve done that, she
starts to treat you that way.
This is exactly what my friend did. He exuded nothing but absolute confidence
he acted like he was the really attractive one in the group and the waitress
was the average-looking one. Presented with this, the waitress ignored his
height as if it wasnt a problem at all an happily gave him her number.
Then, you turn around and look at what 90% or more of guys are out there are
doing right now. They come off as these attention-seeking, approval-addicted
beings that really dont seem altogether attractive. They act like a servant class,
pulling chairs and opening doors, buying drinks and doing any other nice thing
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they can think of that is going to get them a date, or at least a phone number.
Then, you turn the chessboard around, and you look at it from the girls point of
view. You get a very different picture if you ever take the opportunity to actually
do this. Think about it: youre in a sea of desperate guys who will clearly do
anything for you. Its uncomfortable to watch someone groveling for someone
elses approval, and youve probably been the object of that groveling many
times before.
In other words, most of the time, when a really hot girl is interacting with a guy,
shes the one leading. He needs something from her, and he is obviously hoping
she gives it to him. She knows this, and so she dictates the terms.
Its not a very fair arrangement, if you ask me. But once you know that it exists,
you have the power to change it. Women subconsciously reject the men who
come to them groveling and subservient because that, in her mind, registers as
the opposite of how someone would act who she would be really into. Shes
looking to add value to her life, not to do some desperate guy a favor by making
out with him or going home with him.
Now, many of you will be asking (and I will be answering): okay, so how do I go
from being the submissive one, the reactor, to being the dominant one?
Its simple. There are three steps.
Step 1 Pretend that you are already the superstar you are trying to become:
women are already absolutely hungry for you.
Step 2 Pretend that she is the one chasing you. Pretend that she still needs to
win you over a bit before youll even consider her as a prospect.
Step 3 Become the kind of man who acts, not the kind of man who reacts.

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Lets go through these bad boys one by one, because I know you probably all
have questions by now.
Its one thing to do it in the mirror at 3 a.m. in your boxers when youre (99%)
certain no one can see you and quite another to do it out in public, especially
in front of girlshot girls. So how does a guy just go out there and pretend to
be a superstar with every womans eyes on him, when he doesnt feel that way
and it certainly doesnt look like any womans eyes are on him?
Thats where that one all-important little word pretend becomes so very allimportant. You just need to pretend, at least for now. Imagine that you are
already the superstar you wish to be, and youve already got tons of women
around you. And that means tons of women chasing after you.
And an abundance more of women and girls who are willing to do whatever it
takes to get a date with you and be with you for the long haul. This shouldnt be
hard. Just picture that. If youre not having fun, youre doing it wrong.
Now, once youve gotten into the state, and you know how youd feel and what
it would look like, etc., ask yourself this question: what is my attitude now?
Would you say the same things to women in that case as you currently do?
Would you still act the same way around girls that you do currently?
This takes us to Step 2. Step 2 is all about learning to get really into pretending
that every woman out there has a secret plan to get you and trap you. This
changes your outlook and your attitude when you go out and interact with
women. It changes the way you play the game, and can vastly alter your results
instantly, if youre willing to stick to the bit while youre talking to the girl.
Why? There are two reasons: the first is that every other guyor, at least, the
ones who havent read this book yetis out there trying to win over the
woman. Hes trying to impress her, get her approval.

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When you come on with my approach, you separate yourself from those other
guys. Suddenly, you are distinct in the girls mind (and not because you
memorized some stupid pickup linesseriously, people), and separate from
the zillion other guys who hit on her.
Even better, the way all the other guys do it, she gets to decide ultimately who
wins. But when you do it my way, you change the dynamic. Suddenly, you are
the one who decides who wins.
Youre also making it loud and clear in your conversation and your body
language, as well as your actions, that you really do not require her validation
or approval in order to feel good about yourself. Youre not emotionally tied to
what she says.
Now, what Im saying does not mean that you dont care about her; it just
means that youre not going to beat yourself up and take it personally if things
dont go your way. If you can adopt that mindset, and really start to live that
way of thinking, you can be sure to never send a girl the vibe that youre just
out to get something from her.
When I started to make this an automatic part of my mindset when dealing with
women, some interesting things started to happen. For one thing, I had a lot
more girls interested in me than I did before I started making this an automatic
part of my mindset. But I also started acting differently, and I noticed it in
myself when I realized how weird some of the things I was saying to women
were.
Stuff like
You had better watch out. Im too pretty from you, and youd better stay away
from me. Otherwise you might get hooked. Im like a cigaretteit might feel
good right now, but it can be a major problem in the long run.

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Listen, honey, youre very sweet. And youre just the nicest girl I think Ive met
in a long time. Pretty, too. In fact, youd make a great wife, I bet. Unfortunately,
were not really meant to be together. Sorry. Its just Im kind of hard to
handle and youre a really nice girl. Too nice for somebody difficult like me.
As you might have already guessed, these lines were also working wonders on
the girls I was using them on. I saw girls working twice as hard as before to get
my attention and win me over when I started operating from that mental space
and saying all those weird things.
But I didnt have to sit and come up with all that stuff I said beforehand, or use
formulas: it just flowed naturally because I was acting like I already knew she
was interested. Im pretty good at that game, these days, so I can play it pretty
convincingly. Nowadays, its so convincing that even I get fooled. Thats when it
really works.
It works on these women because, contrary to what they experience with most
other guys, I put myself in the chooser position. They have to demonstrate
their quality and prove their worth to me, rather than the other way around.
Most guys do it the other way around. Most guys need to well, stop doing that
and do it my way. My way actually works.
Which brings us to Step 3. You must turn yourself into the kind of guy who acts,
but never reacts.
Most if not all of my readers will be scratching their heads at this moment and
wondering what on earth Im talking about. Many may suspect I have lost my
marbles. I have not, however. It all goes back to whos leading, and whos
following, in an interaction with and a girl.
As you practice this, you may one day find yourself in this situation: you stepped
up and really acted like a complete prize. You put yourself in the position of
being able to choose, and it worked. The girl worked really hard for your
attention, and you felt great about yourself and your prospects as a stud.
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But just because you can get there does not mean that you can stay there.
This, like most else well talk about, happened to me once. I had this interaction
going with a girl, and as I remember it I did really well putting the first two steps
into practice. I got myself into the dominant role, and she seemed to be having
fun with the whole thing. But I did something wrongshe turned to me
unexpectedly, and said, This is starting to get boring. Stop it!
what? Yeah, I had the same reaction. It was disturbing, to hear that out of
the blue like that.
So I dropped the act and tried having a normal conversation with the girl. I quit
trying to maintain the dominant role and practice any of the steps in this
chapter. And guess what happened? She grabbed her purse and said she had to
step into the bathroom for a minute.
Now, I know what that normally means, so I was a little disappointed already,
but that didnt even compare to the disappointment I felt an hour later when it
really started to sink in that she was never coming back from the bathroom.
And that, in a nutshell, is the danger of reacting. Lets break this down to make
sure you understand what I am talking about.
When I worked my way into the dominant role with that girl, she was
interested. I had made it so that she had to chase me, and I made myself the
prize and her the one trying to win the prize. But then she threw me a curveball. I thought in the moment that my act was ruined, and so I dropped it. I
reacted to what she did, establishing her as the dominant one and me as the
one chasing her.
It should be the other way around. You should be the one acting, and she
should be the one reacting. I should have held my ground in that situation with
that girl. It would have worked out much better for me, and I would have gotten
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to maintain my role as the dominant one in the interaction. Heres how that
interaction should have gone:
This is starting to get boring. Stop it!
Yeah, now that you mention itit kinda is. Can you try and be a little more
entertaining, please? And with that, I smile my crooked scoundrels smile.
Ensure that you completely understand how I maintain the dominant frame in
that part of the interaction when I use that particular comeback. I am not
ignoring what she says, just choosing not to react to it. I can say something to
address it; but since Im confident, and I know there are plenty of other girls
around, I am comfortable enough to make a joke out of it. I dont really care if
she is getting bored. Thats the vibe you want to pursue.
Thats the frame of mind that gets her to chase you, and keeps her chasing you.
If you can get comfortable being in that frame of mind, then you can enjoy all
the benefits these techniques have to offer and more.
Make sure that you really understand everything that we have covered here.
Much of this material seems very simple, even obvious, I know, but it is
important that you have all these concepts clear in your mind, as we are going
to start building on them and really getting into brass tacks in the next few
chapters.
Ill share some more techniques with you, but were going to start getting into
the detailed part of the how-to on a really practical, step-by-step kind of level.

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Chapter 6 Planting the Seeds of Desire.

Congratulations: youve officially reached the good part of the book.
You have officially finally reached the part of the program that I have always
found to be the most fun and the most exciting. This is where we really get
down and dirty and into the tricks, tactics, and techniques that you have
available to you to get your hands on that emotional attraction knob and turn it
all the way up.
Were going to start adding tools to your toolbox, now. Ideally, you want to
absorb the material in this chapter a few times, and practice it, as well. You
should get good at practicing the techniques in this chapter, and be able to do
them easily and without too much effort.
I say this because, like any half-decent high school math class, were going to
build on those concepts going forward. The better you understand the early
stuff, the more sense the later material will make, andmost importantlythe
better your results will be.
Were going to actually get into play-by-play techniques in this chapter, and its
going to add another layer of depth to your understanding of the topic. With
the information laid out in this chapter alone, you could go out and practice
with real women and get to a pretty high level all by yourself.
Of course, theres plenty more to learn after this, but were putting rubber on
the road right now for the first time. And while I am always in favor of you
getting out there and getting your hands dirty in the trenches, dont neglect the
rest of the information in this book because you are so anxious to get out there
and try it.
On the other hand, reading will never equal success. You could read every book
on this subject ever written and still never bring a girl home once. However, you
could never read a single book, and still get really good at this, just by going out
there and practicing.
But Im getting ahead of myself again. So lets get back to the material.

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Think back for just a minute to some of the previous material. I realize youre
anxious to get to the good stuff, but you have to get these basics down like
second nature, because youre going to need them when things get hairy out
there in the trenches. We talked before about the emotional attraction scale.
Since that topic goes directly into what were going to talk about here and for
the rest of the book, lets think in those terms.
Youre going to learn what buttons to push and what tricks really work to raise
your emotional attraction level with a girl. When you get good at this, you can
imitate the real masters and keep a girl at an 8 or above consistently. Once you
get to this point, youll be able to control a girls desire for you virtually at will.
You can then lay on that sweet spot of desire button, and have her chasing you
around, helpless with desire.
One thing that you should definitely have picked up by now in reading this book
is that the impulsive desire formula has one major purpose: to raise your level
on both the emotional attraction scale and the value scale with a girl, and keep
her in a loop of attraction.
Once you get her to a point where she feels an attraction for you, then you keep
that attraction going strongand get her totally fixated on you and you only
by hitting her sweet spot of desire. You have to continually give her just enough
to keep her interested. But you also have to pull back just enough to get her to
chase you, and keep her chasing you.
There is both art and science at work here, so its going to take a little
experimentation and practice for you to get this part of the process down. But
once you get a feel for the rhythm of going back and forth between giving her
enough to keep her interested and pulling back, you can hit that sweet spot of
desire over and over again, and she will have no idea what hit her.
All of the information above constitutes what you might call strategy.
Everything else in the previous chapters counts as strategy, too. Its big-picture
stuff. Now, bit by bit, I am going to fill in the details to get you from where you
are to where you want to be. These details, the tactics, are the individual
steps on that journey. Follow these tactics, and use them wisely, and youll end
up right where you want to be automatically.

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So lets get started. Id like to begin with something called the Emotional
Blowout Formula.
Think back to a few chapters ago, when we were discussing how women choose
which men they find attractive. Remember that I showed you how women
really dont respond to looks or wealth, but rather how they feel around a
particular person?
That concept comes into play here. You need to get a womans emotionally
involved. Once you do that, then you can use that emotional involvement to
start a give-and-take that leads to her getting into a powerful attraction loop.
In order to get that attraction loop started, well have to build up some
momentum by giving her a bit of an emotional shake-up. This technique is
designed to do precisely that. Youll be able to give the girl a kind of tiny
emotional shock that will get her attention on you and her emotional attraction
level into (upward) motion.
I need to give you one quick caveat, however: before I go into any detail. I need
to make sure you understand something. Im warning you right now, only use
this for short periods of time. Dont just do this all the time, or the results could
be disastrous. If you do decide that you want to use the Emotional Blowout
Formula for a long period of time, I think the results would be hilarious for me,
however, and therefore I encourage you to send me the stories of what
happens.
Usually, youll want to use this technique early on. I normally find myself using it
shortly after meeting the girl, or somewhere during the getting to know you
phase. And while I cant stress enough that this is for short periods only, you can
start using it again after youve known a girl for a while if it seems like she might
have a wandering eye.
Whenever things start to get too monotone or boring with a girl, I use this
formula to get the process started, and to get things interesting again. You can
use this formula to get her emotional attraction level way back up very quickly if
it has started to fall, but you have to use it sparingly.
So, how do you actually go about shaking a girl up emotionally? Well, just think
about it for a second: an emotional shakeup would be a rapid change in
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someones emotional state over a short period of time. So you want to get her
to feel lots of different emotions quickly. What Im going to have you do here is
find ways to do things that can cause emotions like that. The best way is to mix
positive and negative. Go positive, then negative, then positive again, and then
negative again.
Now, what do I mean by that? You want to say or do something that gets a
positive responsethat she likesand follow it with something that gets a
negative responsethat she doesnt like.
This whole thing probably sounds pretty weird. Especially if youre the kind of
guy who has always tried to please women, doing things to intentionally piss
them off probably seems like the worst idea in the world. If being nice doesnt
get them interested, surely being anything else could only have worse results,
right?
Just trust me. There is a very good reason why I am instructing you to do this.
There is actually a story behind it, from my own personal history. Hold on to
your hats, because its going to seem like weve totally gone off the subject for a
while. But, as always, there is a method to my madness.
There was a time, long ago and in a galaxy far, far away (well, sort of) when I
wanted to be a screenwriter. Yeah, it sounds weird, I know, but life takes us
strange places sometimes. I wrote a couple of different scripts over a period of
a few years. Nothing I wrote ever got produced big-time. But I had fun while I
was doing it. And I really thought I was going to make it, there, for a while. The
big-shot life seemed pretty appealing in those days.
And as you may have already guessed, I didnt exactly make it. But I did learn a
lot about the movies. I feel like most people are missing out when they go to
the moviesIm getting the full experience. But my adventure in screenwriting
had another effect, that came completely out of left field. It happened while I
was studying the movies.
If youre going to be a screenwriter, then you need to understand certain things.
You need to know how to format your script, for one thing, but you also have to
know how to develop characters and create a plot, how to pace the story and
keep it interestinga lot of thought goes into creating a script. Its actually
about as much work as writing a book, not even counting the time needed to
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produce the movie. And that means that for the aspiring screenwriter, there is a
lot to learn.
Well, as Ive said in previous chapters, I was always something of a nerd growing
up, so I took to research like a fish to water. I loved it. I spent hours on end
reading books about screenwriting and watching movies. I read every movie
screenplay I could get my hands on. I particularly enjoyed comparing movies
that were considered the really big-time successes with the ones that flopped.
A pattern began to emerge. I noticed that there was a distinct difference
between the movies that were terrible and the ones that were considered great
and had commanded massive audiences.
Beyond production value or what actors the studio hired to play in the movie,
there was a single factor that seemed to determine how popular and successful
a movie was going to be. The great movies always had some kind of element of
mixing between positive and negative events or people.
For example, imagine there were a movie (Im doing this off the top of my head,
and I was an unsuccessful screenwriter, so cut me some slack, here) in which a
man lives a quiet life in a nice neighborhood, and hes generally happy with the
way things are going in his life. He goes on a jog one cold January morning in his
blue tracksuit. Crossing the street on his way back home, he sees a car run the
stop sign just as he gets to the middle of the road.
The next thing he or the audience knows, hes in a hospital bed. Hes paralyzed,
and wondering what hes going to do to make it for the rest of his life.
A lot of negativity got introduced very quickly there. Thats the first part of the
emotional shakeup. We went from something relatively positivethe mans life
is going more or less the way it is supposed to, and things are on trackto
something horribly negativehes horribly wounded and in the hospital. This is
the kind of thing that gets you emotionally involved and interested in the
movie.
The doctors tell him that there is only a slim chance he will ever walk again. His
brother stops in to see him, and he is wearing a uniform because he is headed
off to fight in the Middle East, and he wants to say goodbye. He asks his brother
to take care of his wife if he dies while fighting the war.
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The mans girlfriend, who has been by his side the whole time, comes to see
him the next day, and he is deeply affected by what his brother said to him. So
the man swears to his girlfriend that he will walk again.
At first, he fails miserably over and over again, and it starts to seem like there is
no hope for him. But just as he is about to give up and decide that he really
wont be able to walk ever again, he experiences a little bit of success: he
wiggles a toe.
Slowly, a glimmer of hope begins to emerge in the hospital room where he
stays. Maybe, just maybe, hell make it out of this place on his own two legs.
Months of hard work finally pay off, and he walks to his own front door. His legs
are still wobbly and atrophied, to be sure, but they work. He is standing upright.
But things are not at all right when he gets home, and he discovers evidence
that his brother and his girlfriend were cheating on him together while he was
in the hospital. But he keeps going, and despite all of it, he eventually
overcomes all of that adversity and moves to a new city, gets a new girl, and
starts a new life.
But then, something else happens
And then I cut off the story, because Im pretty sure you got the point a long
time ago.
All of the screenwriters who write movies that actually do well understand at a
deep level this fundamental principle of modern human psychology. In order to
make the movie work, the story has to move (thats not why they are called
movies, but it should be). It has to start in one placeand whether that place
is positive or negative does not matterand make some kind of journey or
change to another. If youve ever seen a movie that seems to drag on, and not
go anywhere, then you understand what the opposite of this dynamic looks like,
as well.
This same principle holds true with women. In order to keep her interested, you
have to add a little bit of emotional movement. I would use the word drama,
but that has negative connotations.

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However, it does do a great job of describing what Im trying to tell you to inject
into your dealings with her. Thats how you get her completely and totally
addicted to you.
Video games also do this exceptionally well. Game designers want you to keep
coming back for more, and to buy the sequel when it comes out, and so on. So
theyve gotten very good at giving you just enough reward that you want to
keep coming back.
When you give a girl the right amount of emotional shakeup, its like reaching a
new level in the game: suddenly, there is a new challenge to overcome. A
radioactive giraffe has transformed the New York subway system into a bloodsoaked killing floor and only you and your genetically-spliced chainsaw hand
can save the city.
A video game thats too hard gets frustrating, and eventually you give up. A
game thats too easy gets boring, and you lose interest. But a game that flies
right down the middle between too hard and too easy, a game that is just hard
enough, exerts a powerful, addictive force over those who play it.
This works on her the same way the give-and-take of a really good game works
on you. Her mind naturally finds itself spending time thinking about you, trying
to figure out whats going on, or just wondering what youre thinking or doing.
Suddenly, shes thinking about you all the time.
This kicks into motion yet another subtle psychological process that works in
your favor. You know that if you focus on something, and think about it all the
time, it becomes more important to you.
It becomes a bigger part of your life, and generally, something that you care
more about. You have given energy and attention to it, and so now it has
meaning for you. It has more emotional value. So youre more emotionally
invested in whatever it is youre thinking about.
The same goes for the girl. Her brain thinks at a deep level that, since shes
thinking about you all the time, she must be interested in you. Suddenly, she
feels desire for you whenever she thinks about you, which is all the time. Youve
created a loop. Now, every time she thinks about you, she desires you more.

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And now, gentlemen, youve officially come to the really good part: how to
actually do what I have just described above. Lets start here. You already
understand the concept of going from negative to positive, back again, and so
on.
But, how do you actually do this in the real world, with a real girl in front of
you? Lets break it down so its a little bit easier to digest.
There are three basic steps, and they go like this:
Step 1 Say something very positive about her.
Step 2 Follow it up with something negative.
Step 3 Shift the blame on her.
I met a girl at a party oncelets call her Ashleyand got her number the night
we met. We hung out a few times after that, and things were going well.
But while she had seemed very interested up front, as time went on, her
behavior began to change. I noticed that she was starting to pull away, like the
attraction was somehow fading between us. Essentially, she was playing hard to
get in a major way, and it was starting to get a little bit frustrating. I felt like
maybe she was beginning to lose interest in me, especially since it was taking
me so long to get close to her.
So I decided that it was time for a little bit of an emotional shakeup. I used the
emotional blowout formula on her, to get control of the situation again, and to
shake up her emotions, to get her thinking and wondering about me.
Heres what I said to her.
You know, Ashley, youre a really cool girl. But you also have this kinda bratty
side to yourself. But if you promise to be nice, I guess Id let you take me out for
dinner.
Now, lets get one thing straight: this was all very sarcastic. I was smiling when I
said this, and I made sure that she knew I was kidding. She smiled, too, when I
said it, so I know that she got it, and didnt take offense. Id already established
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a flirty repartee with her, and so the statement made sense in the context of
the conversation.
But its important to make sure that you are paying close attention to what is
actually happening in this dialogue: I started with something positive. I called
her a cool girl, and a compliment coming out of the blue like that is always
nice. But then I said she had a bratty side to her as well, which was a negative.
So within a matter of a few seconds, shes experiencing both the positive
emotions of receiving a compliment, as well as the not-so-positive ones of
receiving the slight insult.
Then, to cap the whole thing off, I shift the blame entirely onto her. I told her
that she was the reason we were not getting along as well as I would have liked,
because she was not being nice. Now, she has two different emotions to
process, and youve thrown the ball into her court by shifting the blame onto
her for the situation.
All of that emotional movement makes her brain start to pay attention to you.
Because you are making her feel so many different emotions so quickly, you
become an object of interest to her brain. Continuing to reel her in and then
pull back just enough eventually turn that interest into romantic interest, and
you have your attraction loop.
We both knew that I didnt really think she was bratty, but it provided the
emotional shakeup that I needed just then. It bumped the relationship off the
course where she played hard to get and drifted away. I used some more
techniques to make sure her attention stayed on me, and to take it to the next
level, as well. But well get into those techniques in a bit. For now, take some
time to practice doing this with any girls who seem to be losing interest, or on
girls youve just met.
To get you started, Ive compiled some real-world examples of how to use the
techniques in this chapter. These are not designed for you to memorize and
repeat them.
You want to develop the skill of inventing them on your own. If you can easily
come up with these in the moment, then you will really be able to reap the
benefits of the powerful tool this really is. If you just memorize these ten
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examples, then you will find your repertoire extremely limited, and your results
equally limited, as well.
Here are the examples:
OMG! I am like already in love with you. But, hmm you look like a
heartbreaker. I wouldnt want you to use and abuse me. This is your faultwhy
are you so hot? Stop being hot. Now. Damn heartbreakers.
Wait, no, stop looking at me like that, with those beautiful eyes. I wanted to
take it slow. Youre messing with my head and you know it! Do you do this to all
the guys? Look! Quit staring at me already, would you?
Wow! Youre a really nice girl. I believe girls like you are tough to find. It
almost, in a way, reminds me of my sister. Just in some ways. Its a little weird,
but I mean, I like it so far.
You know, its a good thing youre really attractive. Because youve got a mean
side to you, too. Now how about you drop the whole mean-girl thing so we can
start getting along?
Look, I know you probably just bat your lashes at all the guys and they fall all
over themselves for you, but I see right through you. You wont seduce me. Uhuh. Now quit giving me that look. You know the one. Those heavy-lidded
dreamy eyes.
Wow! You look really cute when you smile like that. I like it because it is a little
crooked, like your mouth is off-center. But dont worryits cute.
You make me want to ask for your number. But you also kind of look like you
might say something mean if I ask for it. Be nice, and write down your number.
You know, I was having a great time, and then I saw you. Now every other girl
here is ruined for me. You might be able to make it up to me, though, and then I
might forgive you for being so hot.
Youre really hot, but there are a lot of really hot girls out there, and some of
the just arent that much fun to talk to. So before I spend a long time sitting
here and trying to figure it out on my own, how about you just tell me? Are you
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worth talking to?

I feel like youre a really cool girl, but you seem mischievous, too. I bet youve
broken a lot of hearts in your time. Dont come after me. Im immune to your
charms!
Since weve officially reached the good part, as I outlined earlier, the next
chapter is just going to take you into some more tips and techniques that you
can use.

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Chapter 7 The Intrigue Arousal Method.

Were making great headway. Already youre armed with some excellent
techniques that can radically change your results when it comes to arousing
desire in the girls you want.
Now let us press our lead, and continue on with a few more techniques and
tricks that are going to help you master the art of dealing with women. I want
to be able to get you to a place where you can hook a girls attention on a deep
level, so that she keeps coming back for more and more.
I want you to be able to pick virtually any girl (95%+ of women) and get her
addicted to you. As time goes on, her need for you grows and gets stronger.
Before you know it, shes completely obsessed.
The choice in doing it is up to you. The choice in continuing it is up to you, as
well. Stop using these methods, and you might just lose her interest (unless
youre already in love and off to Vegas to put a ring on itin which case,
congratulations). On the other hand, once you become proficient in using these
methods, youll find you need them less and less. You integrate them into your
personal repertoire, and they become a natural part of the way you interact
with women. Then, you can pick up and drop a girls interest practically at will.
Its amazing place to be, and I can tell you from my own direct and personal
experience that it is worth every rejection, every disgusted No! and every
minute spent waiting by the phone for a text.
We have already talked about some methods that you can use to make this
happen in your own life, as well. Lets add to some of the bricks weve already
laid. Now Im going to take you into another method that I have developed from
my own personal dealings with women. Ive found that it works 100% of the
time that you actually do it right. Learning to do it right involves both a skill and
an innate sixth sense, but dont worry about that, for now.

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Your sixth sense will develop with time and practice, and it will be a useful tool.
But its not something youre born with, and its not something youre going to
get by reading.
What you will get by reading is techniques that can help you learn your sixth
sense. Like this one:
This next bit of material is called the intrigue arousal method. However, you
can be sure that it does far more than just intrigue a girl. Weve covered the
emotional shake-up, and how to go about getting the girls emotions going in
different directions. This gets her thinking about you again. Which is, of course,
precisely what we want her doing.
But, as weve also discussed, you still need to pull back and give her a little
something to chase. Were going to build on that concept here, and give you
some practical advice for making that possible.
Youre going to like the results you get from employing the methods described
here. Not only will you be able to talk to girls and spark interest in them, you
will also gradually gather a large group of girls who call you and text you
regularly.
This means that at any given time, you can have a couple different girls who are
interested in you. Just keep practicing this next technique that I am going to
teach you, and it will stay that way. Imagine never having to go anywhere
without a date again, if you dont want to. Become the guy who always seems
to be showing up with a different hot girl.
But there are more benefits than just those. Every girl you talk to will feel a
strong desire to talk to you again, when you start using this technique out in the
real world with real girls. In fact, she wont be able to help herself: as youll see
in a moment, the psychology behind what Im teaching you goes right to the
deepest parts of our human nature. Its so powerful that it works even if you
know someone is using it on you. Ill explain what I mean in a second, so hold
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your horses for now.

Once you get her hooked, she will seek out ways to hang out with you and see
you increasingly often. Were going to create a situation in which shes hooked,
and you either reel her in or let her pull back out, but you never let her off the
hook completely. Unless, of course, you want to. Which you probably will,
eventually. I mean, unless you get married.
Best of all, this method works even on girls you already knowno matter how
many times youve done it before. If you find that a girls interest in you has
started to wane, or maybe even vanished completely, you can get it back in
record time. Finally, you can use this method to get a spike in a girls
emotional state pretty much on command. You can then add spice to any
situation, and make it turn out your way.
Its a powerful tool, and I definitely recommend you master it. It will take
practice, but the value of having a tool like this in your toolbox cant be
overestimated. Dont be afraid to try and fail repeatedlyor to look like a
moron once or twice.
Its the price of mastery. I think you will find, as I did, that what you get in
exchange for your willingness to hit your head a couple of times out in the field
is worth every heartbreak and every embarrassing disaster. So persevere, and
keep at it, because I know you can make this work if youre willing to put in a
little effort up front.
The intrigue arousal technique is based on some earlier science done in the
field of psychology. Have you ever heard anyone talk about the Zeigarnik
Effect?
No, its not a Russian science fiction movie about an old man in a leather pilots
cowl who travels through time fighting injustice. Its a psychological concept. It
refers to a natural tendency in the human mind. There are always exceptions to
every rule in this kind of science, so they tend to deal in generalities. And this
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effect works for just about everybody, psychologists have found.

What they discovered is that the human mind has a natural tendency to finish
whatever it starts. If it perceives that there is some unfinished task at hand,
then your focus will naturally drift back towards whatever it is. You will find
increasingly difficult not to think about that problem or situation until it is
resolved. Anyone whos ever lost sleep worrying about anything will understand
what I mean by this. But it doesnt just mean worry.
What it means is that the human mind absolutely cant deal with an unfinished
thought. It demands closure. Stop somebodys favorite song right when you can
tell the chorus is about to hit really hard. Theyll freak out.
Okay, so how does all of this tie in to women and being able to stimulate
attraction in them? One more example should help us bring these ideas
together. This also comes from my days as a screenwriter.
I was briefly interested in TV writing, and it helped me learn a lot about getting
an audience (or a girl) hooked on me so they (she) have (has) to keep coming
back for more. Every screenwriter wants to write a show (or write for a show)
whose audience just cant get enough of it. Heres one of the things they do
that almost exactly resembles what Im going to teach you below. Check this
out:
Have you ever seen a TV serial drama where every episode ended with a
cliffhanger? The main character finally has the diamonds, and hes standing in
the elevator back to the surface, but the bank robbers are sprinting down the
hallway, guns in hand
and right as you are about to find out whether they reach the elevator or not,
the credits roll. They show the air date of the next episode, and you have to
wait until next season to see what happens.

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And Id be willing to bet, if youre anything like me, that in those moments, you
come close to actually putting Grandmas nice old vase right through that TV
screen. Or hopping a plane out to the writers house and kicking his ass in his
own front yard. Nothing depresses an audience member like a cliffhanger at the
end of a season. Five months spent wondering whats going to happen. Whew.
Ive observed that one of the things about those sorts of endings that makes me
the angriest is knowing, that I will definitely be able to keep from watching the
next episode. In fact, I clear that entire week.
Six months ahead of time. I know the shows writers are using a technique on
me, a technique I actually know and use on other people, and yet it still works
on me. If you yourself have ever watched a TV show like the one Ive described
(and be honest: you have), then youve probably felt the same way yourself at
one time or another.
Its the oldest trick in the book for those guys, and theyve been using it to get
viewers coming back since before TV existed. In fact, the technique goes all the
way back to when Charles Dickens wrote his novels in serial. It took six weeks
for each new installment of his novels to reach the United States from where he
was writing in England. Reports say that people climbed over each other to get
to the ships when they came into the harbor. And you thought people who
waited in line for phones were crazy.
Thats how powerful this stuff actually is. Now that you get the big-picture
concept, heres the nitty-gritty how-to. These are the steps to the intrigue
arousal process:
Step 1 Start to say something interesting: Set it up the same way the
screenwriters set up the TV show scene I described above. You want to put all
the elements in place so that it seems like youre about to say something
emotionally powerful, or really interesting. In the same way, youll see that the
TV writers make sure that all the elements of tensioneverything thats a
source of conflict in the showcomes to a climax right at the same time, and
right in the same place. Everything is leading up to one big, decisive moment.
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Step 2 Leave it in the middle: Make up a reason to stop right in the middle of
your thought. Again, think like those TV screenwriters. Wait until you get to the
best part (the punch line, so to speak), and stop short.
Theres an art to this that you can only truly acquire through practice. The TV
screenwriters make sure that as the action leads up to that one, big moment,
that there are plenty of hints that whatever is to come is going to be epic.
Likewise, make sure that youve made whatever it is you were about to say
sound really intriguing. If shes leaning in or showing other signs of wanting to
know what youre going to say, youre on the right track.
Step 3 Move on to another subject: This part is all about style. Youre really
on stage at this point. Do everything you can to communicate how little you
care about whatever it was you were about to say. The more interesting you
made it seem, the more powerful an effect your pretended nonchalance will
have. Just remember: if shes pressing you for more, you did something right.
Think about the end of the credits on the TV show. They just go right into a
commercial.
Youre sitting there stunned that you dont get to find out whether the main
character makes it back to Kenya to place the blood diamonds in his fathers
tomb, and they just start right back in with the Oxy-Clean and the sleazy lawyer
commercials. Think the same way.
Step 4 Rinse and repeat: Remember that none of this is intended for one-off
usage. Use this technique over and over again (tastefully, of course) to really get
the most out of what it has to offer. Get a girl interested and wondering about
you over and over again, and she might just think to herself, Gosh, hes
mysterious. If you dont already know, thats a really, really good sign.
To make this as crystal clear as possible, and really ensure that you get
everything Im offering up, lets talk examples:
Start by acting like you just thought of something that youd been meaning to
tell her. Here are some examples of what you could say to a girl in any
situation
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The weirdest thing happened to me last night. My ex texted me, out of

absolute nowhere. Said it was an emergency and she need to talk right this
second. I texted her back and said hey, whats going on; are you okay? She just
told me to call her, so I did. Over and over for like 10 minutes, and I got so mad I
eventually just turned off my phone. Oh, hey, by the way, where were you last
night? I was trying to call you And off you go, right into another subject.
Dont even acknowledge that anything you said might have been interesting.
Just let her sit and wonder.
By starting the story, and then leaving it without an ending, just like those
nefarious TV writers, you get the girl intrigued. She wants to know the ending to
the story. She will probably stop you, and ask you what happened next in your
story. String her along for a while (maybe not five months, like the screenwriters
thats just cruelty) to increase the effect. The more interesting and engaging
the end of the story, the better this technique will work.
But thats just kid stuff. Anybody can tell stories. Lets try something a little
more interactive. Im going to show you now how to do the same thing by
making little observations about the girl that you are talking to. But first,
rememberthis is not precisely a bluff. You should really have an ending to give
her. You just dont want to give it to her right away, so she wants more, and has
to chase after you to get it. Were training her to follow you around and want
you, essentially.
So to start out with, its best to observe something interesting about the girl. It
doesnt have to be anything huge or amazing, just something interesting.
People love hearing about themselves, so the bar for creativity is shockingly
low.
Here is the type of stuff you could say
You know, Ethel, I noticed the weirdest and most amazing thing about you.
Of course, pause more than a second and shes definitely going to ask you to tell
her what youre talking about.

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Now drop this bomb. You know I think I need to wait for the right time to
come before I can share that. I want to tell you, but I think Im too scared of
your reaction right now.
Now move right along to another subject, as if what you just said were no big
deal at all. Dont be surprised if she refuses to talk about anything else until you
tell her exactly what you were thinking about.
And, of course, there is always a bit of an art to this. Just how long you wait to
tell her is an instinct that you will begin to develop as you put these ideas into
practice. It has to become second nature before you can really maximize your
results using this method.
But lets not underrate the value of telling stories. As weve seen, this technique
is practically made for telling stories with. You might try this:
So,lodie, you might say, I never was the brightest kid back in school. Ha!
Plus, I had these big, thick glasses I had to wear all the time. The kids, theyd
pick on me a lot. I was the kid whod always hang out in the corner hoping
somebody would come swoop in and be my friend. But a lot of strange stuff
happened back then Ill tell you about it, someday.
And off you go to another topic. As if you dont even remember saying it. You
may not have to reveal the punch line in this one, since its more generala
lot of strange stuffrather than specific and immediatethe weirdest and
most amazing thing about you. But you will definitely pique some interest, and
move towards that mysterious category. Things get interesting when you get
there.
Lets say you see her glance at a scar or mark thats visible somewhere on you.
You might say, Oh, I see you noticed my scar. That was a crazy story. But really
not good conversation for right now. Lets wait, and when I feel a little more
comfortable with you, Ill tell you.

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Or, act surprised, like something just occurred to you. Say, Oh! I just
remembered something I really wanted to tell you then droop. Say, I
forgot it again. Remind me that I had something awesome to tell you later.
Then, if you are in a public place like a party or a bar, grab her later on after you
have parted ways for a minute and tell her that you remembered, but you want
to tell her after the party.
If youre having trouble coming up with something to say, a boiler plate
approach like this one works with just about any girl in just about any situation.
Look at her quietly for a long moment, like you are thinking or remembering
something from a long time ago. Chew your lip or rub your chin to make this
more convincing. Then, announce, You remind me of someone. Then think
some more. Say, But I probably shouldnt be going around telling that story. I
dont know let me think about it and I might tell you later on.
This next example also offers the promise of something in the future as a carrot
to draw the girl back, creating that cycle of addiction as your raise her
emotional attraction level.

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Shell want to know about the person who reminds you of her, especially if the
story sounds as interesting as that one does. Any story that shouldnt be told
is almost certainly a bona fide good one. The hint of a suggestion that it might
be a bad story only adds to the mystery. What if she reminds you of someone
terrible? The plot thickens.
You know, you say to her randomly at some point while youre together, I
saw something at the store the other day and thought of you. I may go back and
buy it for you as a gift. No promises, though, so dont get excited. Then change
the subject. Dont just trail off. That will sound weird.
If you really want to make this one work for you double-time, show up one day
with a small gift. Then use the same line again after enough time has passed.
Then, because you said it before and followed through, shes going to be on
high alert for another gift from you. Expect her to spend far more time thinking
about you after that. Maybe even several uninterrupted hours a day (okay,
maybe thats pushing it, but you get the idea).

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This example is all about inflection, since you dont actually really say anything.
You know what should be perfect. Then frown dramatically, and trail off.
Talk about something obviously unrelated. Shell press you to see what you
were going to say. Do your best to look a little nervous. I really shouldnt say
it, you say. Shell press you until you tell her, so youd better have something
good to say in mind already.
Trying getting visibly excited, and then say, I thought of something that I want
to tell you! But I cant do it yet. It has to be the right time. Remind me when its
the right time, to tell you. Ooh, this is gonna be good.
But how will I know? shell say.
Oh, youll know.
Of course, she will be confused, and she will want to know more. You can turn it
into a game from here, and create a specific set of rules that have to be met
before you can tell her. Or you can just string her along for a while before you
tell her. Either way, youve engaged her in the process in this example, and
thats a good thing. The more engaged she is, the more likely she is to run after
the carrot youre dangling in front of her.
Finally, try this on for size when she seems to be losing interest. I thought of a
great compliment I wanted to give you, but instead I think Im going to wait
until you get mad at me. Then Ill use it to get out of trouble.
Then, do your best to get in trouble. Of course, be gentle with your efforts to
get in trouble.
When you open up a loop this way, and then refuse to close it, you create a
pattern of activity in a girls mind that addicts her to you. She may be very well
aware of what she is doing (though she almost certainly wont be) and it will
still work.

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People just cant help but become interested in things like that. They want to
know more about what happened, or what you thought of, or what you were
going to say. You set up a situation in which she wants something from you. The
more often you can get her in that state, the more actively shell want to pursue
you, and the more intensely she will ultimately end up desiring you.
And thats precisely why, like everything else in this book, this is not a one-time
fix. These methods are actually best used over a period of time, to really ramp
up a girls attraction level for you. A couple sessions with this technique, and I
can guarantee you from personal experience that she will not leave you alone.
In fact, you will get tired of having girls follow you around all the time.
You see, by opening loops this way and leaving them unclosed creates an
addictive level of curiosity in any girls mind thats nearly impossible to
overcome. Even if you do something offensive, or stupid, shell still be
interested. Remember that we are in the business of emotional shakeups. Do
this right and enough times during your meets with her, and its guaranteed
that she wont ever leave you alone.

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Chapter 8 Intrigue a Woman By Showing Her How Much You

Suck.
So far, Ive probably said some things youve heard before, as well as some
things that represented genuinely new concepts for you. I hope youve found
them useful as you have been practicing.
You have been practicing so far, havent you? Of course you have. Glad to hear
it.
Now, however, as we move into Chapter 8, were going to head further off the
beaten path when it comes to techniques for attracting women. Im going to tell
you some things in this chapter that are probably going to sound like nonsense
at first. They are going to run counter to things youve heard elsewhere. But this
is a book written from personal experience, not from other peoples books. Ive
seen this technique work hundreds, maybe thousands of times.
Normally, you try to better yourself to attain higher quality women, right?
Well, stop doing that, and start doing the opposite.
Heres what I mean. You may hear some guy talk, and say that he met the love
of his life, and it inspired him to be a better man for her. Or youll see a guy
pretend to have a lot more money than he does, or in general to try to look
somehow better than he actually is to get a girl. We all have this unconscious
notion that we should look and seem as attractive as possible when trying to,
you know, attract a mate.
But what Im going to teach you now is going to go in the exact opposite
direction from that idea. Like the chapter title says, were going to take the
things that suck about you, and use them as tools to get girls to go absolutely
insane for you.
I know this sounds like nonsense. Youre probably questioning my sanity a little
bit. But again, Ive used this technique myself hundreds, maybe thousands of
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times, and I can say with a high degree of confidence that it works. It will feel
weird to do this, at first. Your instincts are going to tell you not to, and early on
thatll present a challenge for you.
But with practice, eventually your mind will start to wrap itself around the idea
of what you are doing. Things get even better when you start to see a bit of
success with this technique. Youll have a much easier time getting comfortable
with showing that side of you that sucks, once you see how well it works on
women.
As usual, before I give you the main ideas that are going to define what this
chapter is about, I first want to cover a little background information. Lets talk
for a moment about why and how this technique works, and where the idea
behind it comes from.
You may not have heard this, but vulnerability is actually an incredibly powerful
tool in your arsenal of weapons for capturing women. You can use your own
vulnerabilities to get a girls interest, rather than trying to hide them and
pretend they dont exist.
The vast, vast majority of men out there still subscribe to the notion that
showing weakness or vulnerability is stupid or girly behavior. Women dont
see it that way, and they probably never really did. Men made that up. Maybe
the men who knew better made it up to limit their competition. Who knows?
Anyway
When I talk about revealing your vulnerabilities to a woman, what I really mean
is openly talking about what you see as your weaknesses. I dont mean flaunting
or wallowing in them (poor me works approximately once every billion years).
For whatever reason, revealing your weaknesses in an explicit, upfront way has
the odd, perverse effect on women of making you seem more desirable. The
reasons above go into it, but largely its just a part of female psychology that
ultimately doesnt make much sense, at least to me.
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But showing that you know you actually have vulnerabilities, and that youre
willing to let them out a bit, both can have a powerful effect on a woman.
Especially a woman who feels, as many do, that men dont have emotional or
vulnerable sides. But you can be certain that every woman who thinks that
wishes that they could meet men who did.
But for right now, all you or I need understand is that any guy who is able to
easily and explicitly express his shortcomings and weaknesses will have a major
advantage when he ventures into the Female World.
Most guys really do seem too scared or uptight to express themselves fully and
completely. Its part of the culture that we grow up in as men. It teaches us to
keep that stuff inside, and not talk about it. Everyone says that its just left over
from when men were hunter-gathering savages in the wilderness, but I think it
may just be a learned cultural trait.
Either way, we all walk around with the idea that if we express any weakness, or
fall short in any way, that its not only going to get us made fun of by our male
friends, but its also going to ensure that no girl ever talks to us. If she knows
that Im scared of mice, she isnt going to like meor whatever.
(Im not scared of mice! Shut up!)
But this works powerfully on virtually any woman. It gets them insanely
addicted to you, as if you were the only one who had the drug they needed. It
seems especially like this because if you start really doing this, and learn to get
good at it, then you will be doing something that virtually no other guy knows
about, much less does. In fact, theyre actively avoiding doing this, because
they think its going to chase girls away. Youre the only one who can talk about
your weaknesses, and girls love it.
A friend of mine, call him Elmore, is a particular master at this. He helped me to
get good at it early on. Hed always had issues sticking with any girl for a long
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time, and his relationship history was a wreckage of angry girlfriends and jilted
lovers. Every time hed get into a relationship, wed all head into our bomb
shelters, and we didnt come out until the huge chunks of concrete quit raining
down from the sky.
Hed either get dumped for staring at other girls too openly, or hed cheat on his
girlfriend and shed find out. Not because he was so bad at itactually, he was
pretty slick when it came to avoiding getting caughtbut because he did it so
much. You can only keep so much from a girlfriend, especially as the
relationship goes on and gets more intimate. So my friend, while he had no
problem getting women, couldnt really hold onto any of them for very long.
My friend, however, is a genius. I mean it. He might not see things the way
other people doa lot of women think the way he treats relationships is highly
disrespectful, and I cant say theyre totally crazy to think sobut hes got a
sharp mind, and he figured out a way to turn his issues holding on to girlfriends
into an advantage.
Now, whenever he talks to a new girl, he says right up front that hes
biologically flawed (whatever that meansElmores a crazy guy) and he
absolutely cannot stick to a single woman for a very long time. Then he tells
them they had better just leave him alone. He says that hes worried hell hurt
them.
The genius part of all this was that every word is the truth. Heres the kind of
thing he says to these girls. I was wowed the first time I heard him do it, but the
results have been absolutely mind-boggling.
Hey, listen. Before we take this any further, I wanna come clean on something.
I have this issue, and its kind of a big deal, that I think you should know about. I
cant seem to stick to a single girl for very long, no matter how hard I try. For
that reason, I really think you ought to avoid me. I mean, Id hate to hurt you or
something.
The results, as Ive said, were mind-boggling. It sounds weird and insane to say
it, but its the absolute truth: the vast majority of girls would chase him harder
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after he said that. In fact, very recently as of this writing, hes had a few girls
who, it turned out, were kind of okay with the other girls he was sleeping with
behind their backs, and he ended up in a couple of different open relationships
(yeah, you heard mea couple of different open relationships).
Women have a fundamental respect for a guy who isnt scared of getting
rejected. They find forthrightness in regards to your own shortcomings to be a
very strong trait. If you can look a girl in the eye and tell her something bad
about yourself, something that sucks about you, then youve got some guts.
Especially if you can do it to a girl you met not long ago, and who you find
attractive. But the payoff is more than worth the risk.
In fact, even if it doesnt work and you dont get the girl, shell still like and
respect you more than she did before. This works in a lot of different areas of
life, actually.
I sense that you are starting to get the idea of how this works. It probably still
seems strange and counter intuitive (or maybe just plain stupid) to you, but lets
keep going, and well see if any light bulbs go off where they havent already.
Here are the actual steps to this technique.
Step 1 Reveal something shocking about yourself.
Step 2 Blame that as a reason for why you cant be together with her.
This is generally not a good technique for use right when you first meet a girl.
Rather, this is better used in a first-date situation, or when things are starting to
get a little hot and heavy. Take what you learned in the last few chapters as
well, and apply it here. If she seems particularly interested at one moment,
then thats a great moment to use this technique.
However, it will have the same effect regardless of when you use it. Its
powerful enough to stand on its own without any other techniques and still
bring you far better results than youre probably seeing right now. But it will
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always work, regardless of what other techniques you use, or what situation
you choose to apply it in.
The step before the first step is, of course, actually having something shocking
about yourself that makes a compelling reason why you and this girl shouldnt
be together.
But its actually shockingly easy to come up with such things. Everybody has a
zillion of them. Interestingly enough, the harder time youve had with girls up to
this point, the better youll probably be at this technique right out of the gate.
Why? You probably have a whole list of reasons in your head why you and any
particular girl should not be together. Draw on all those reasons.
To put it as generally as possible, just pick one of the many things you make it a
point not to ever mention in public, or let other people find out about. Now,
dont go too weird, or youll freak the girl out. That thing with the dog and the
peanut butter back in junior high? Bad story. Your last wife broke your heart and
you havent been able to get close to anyone since? Great story.
You might say anything else falls somewhere in between those two.
But those are probably pretty unhelpful examples. Heres what I came up with
for my own use. I called myself a weird stalker. When I was learning this
technique, I spent months telling every girl I met how if they happened to fall
for me, they could expect me to act like a total stalker. Id look right into a girls
gorgeous eyes and tell her Id probably look through her phone and her
Facebook messages if we ever dated. It was hard to do that the first few times.
But I went for it, and got great results. Heres some of the stuff I used to say.
Okay, look Im basically that weird kind of stalker person you should probably
avoid at all costs. If youre starting to fall for me or anything, then turn right
around and run for the hills. Dont even tell me I didnt warn you later. You
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know what? Lets make this even easier: youre not allowed to talk to me
anymore.
Then, to top off all of that, Id start avoiding her and acting aloof. The results, to
use an underwhelming word, were electric.
The girls I did this to all went insane. Whoever it was that said that girls (or
humans as a whole) just want whatever they cant have was completely right.
Give somebody the slightest reason why they shouldnt do something or cant
have something, and instantly the brain needs to have it. The brain focuses on it
and desires it. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. I have no idea why, but Im
glad its the case, because it makes getting girls interested and keeping them
interested much, much easier.
Here are a few more examples to get you started practicing this technique in
your own hunting.
Listen, Eunice, Im trouble. You really ought to stay away from me, I think. We
might get together and date, and have a little fun, or whatever, but I think Im
probably a little too much for a nice girl like you.
Youve given her a challenge in a way that is going to make her want to prove
you wrong. She wont want to be that nice girl because that nice girl cant
handle you. She suddenly wants to know what about you, is so hard to handle,
that a nice girl couldnt deal with it. And she wants you to know that she is by
no means too nice to handle whatever insanity you might throw at her. In fact,
she cant wait to prove it to you.
Traditionally, if youre a shorter guy, thats considered a bad thing. But with this
technique, you can actually turn it to your advantage. Make a shortcoming into
an asset by saying something along these lines:
Id love to be with you, honestly. But then again, I dont think wed get along.
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Lets be honest with each other, here. Why would a girl like you wanna be with
a short guy like me? You couldnt wear heels! I think maybe we should just be
friends. Thatd be best for the both of us, I think.
Okay, I want you to look at something important here. You said, thatd be best
for the both of us, I think. Youve now put her in a position of either agreeing
to do as shes told by you, and agree with your judgment that itd be best for
both of you. If she doesnt want to do that (and she wont), then she has to
prove to you that you and her could be together, despite your height.
She doesnt want you deciding for her. She wants to make her own decisions.
And unless she sees your height as a deal-breaker (if youre a midget with a
taste for Amazons, perhaps?), then your willingness to acknowledge it and talk
about it frankly will score you some major points, right out of the gate.
Being a little on the chubby side is also normally considered a big turn-off for
girls (and guys, too, but thats a different book), but just like the shorter guys
can turn their height into an advantage, you can turn your weight into an
advantage that works for you instead of against you.
Look at me and look at you, youd say. You look like a damn supermodel, and
I look like Mr. Potato Head. Check it outeven my stomach wiggles when I walk
around. How on earth could you and I ever really look good together? You know
what? Youre officially too good-looking for me.
Heres the kicker in this example. Youre gonna love this: when you say youre
actually too good-looking for me, youre rejecting her for the very trait which
gets her all the attention from guys. Youre the only guy saying this to her, so
you can imagine the emotional impact that kind of statement can have.
Suddenly, not only have you put her in a position of having to prove herself to
you, youve taken away her first and best weapon: her good looks. Now she has
to prove herself to you with one arm tied behind her back! Well, thats kind
of a lame metaphor, I guess. Whatever. You get the idea.
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A lot of guys worry that they need to make more money in order to get the girls
they really want. Turn your financial situation into an advantage by saying this:
Hey, Avril, youre a really cool girl, and youre drop-dead gorgeous. You need a
guy who can really take care of you. Im just a regular guy with a regular job. I
just drive a regular car. Wed better break this off now, before we get too
involved.
Once again, youve set up a situation where she feels a desire to prove you
wrong, and in the process, she sticks around. In this case, she has to prove to
you that she doesnt care about something like what kind of car you drive, or
how much money you make, by refusing your decision to break things off.
Instead, wowed by your vulnerability and anxious to get more of it, she chases
after you even harder.
The unique side benefit here is that you can use this technique to improve your
results with women without having to add any more expenses to next months
bills. And you can take that to the bank. Though I warn you, once you get one,
girls can get expensive.
Some guys are worried nowadays those intelligent girls wont find them
interesting. They think a sharp girl needs a sharp guy to hold her attention.
Listen, Farrah, Ive never been the brightest guy, so sometimes I feel like I cant
quite keep up with really intelligent people. And youre just so brilliant, I dont
think I can play at your level. Wed better nip this in the bud. I dont want you
to feel like you have to dumb yourself down for me.
Be careful with this one, as some women may be paranoid that their
intelligence drives men away. Make sure you pitch this from a meek
perspective, like you are wowed by how smart she is, not turned off by it.
Use words like keep up with you, play at your level, Im not that sharp.
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Youre an idiot, in this example; shes not a freaky weird genius.

Some of these can be more general, like if you see a girl who just generally looks
out of your league.
You know, Susannah, I really dont think this is going to work out, you and I. I
mean, its obvious youre way out of my league. I dont want you to think one
thing, and then get to know me and find out another and then be
disappointed.
A girl loves to hear that a guy thinks she is out of his league. It both
compliments her, and shows a great deal of vulnerability. She, of course, cant
wait to tell him otherwise. So shes doubly interested in proving you wrong, in
this case.
If youre worried that a girl getting close to you and getting to know your
personality would find it unattractive, then you might spin it this way:
You know, you seem like such a happy girl. I dont know if you can handle me. I
can be kind of dark sometimes. Id really hate to bring you down with me.
If you can find a reason from your history as to why youre so dark, even better.
Other guys fixate on their own physical shortcomings. That may be something
specific like your height or weight, but it may just be general attractiveness, or
maybe even physical fitness.
You need a really hot guy to go with your beauty. I really dont think Im quite
physically attractive enough for you. But let me work out for a few years, and
we can talk then. Save my number and well talk in 2020, mkay?
You have to pretend like youre leaving for this one to work, and you need to be
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more humorous with your delivery as a result. Otherwise, she might get
confused and think you were actually leaving, and that you were completely
serious. That would be an ironic and unfortunate consequence of using this
technique. But full disclosure: I cant say its never happened to me before.
A man who realizes that hes losing his hair often takes a significant blow to his
confidence. He believes that he has been permanently crippled in his chase for
women. But you can still spin this in your favor, and make it score points for you
instead of being a problem.
Angelique, you could say, I feel like maybe Im in over my head here. Youre
just so angelic looking, and Im so average-looking. Ive got forehead wrinkles
and my hairs falling outyou need a really good-looking guy.
No girl wants to be the one whos only after a guy because of what he looks like.
Mostly because few of them are. She doesnt feel that way, and shed hate to
think that you thought she was. She just might decide to prove to you how unshallow she is when she ignores your receding hairline and makes out with you
anyway.
Increasingly, people in general see nerdy as cool. So having nerdy tendencies
isnt the handicap it once was, but there are still plenty of guys out there who
think that they are limited to gamer chicks, or something similar. Nothing
could be further from the truth. If youve got a huge comic book collection and
six different game consoles, and you worry that this behavior might drive a girl
away, then get it right out there up front:
You seem like you just have so many friends, and Id love to be with you and be
seen among all of them all the time with you but I feel like were just too
different. Im a big nerd, and kind of a loner. I dont know, Allison we might
have to just end it here.
Now, Allison has to prove to you that she is okay with your gamer/nerd lifestyle,
and shell probably explain to you all the reasons why shes actually a huge
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nerd, too. Like I said, its kind of hip to be nerdy, these days.
This technique opens up powerful new options to you when youre approaching
a girl for the first time, especially if something in particular has held you back
before. Because it also does something important for your psyche: it can help
you to get over worrying about those things that you see as shortcomings.
They may very well not be, for all you know, in the eyes of the women you date.
When you get them out there immediately, it takes away their power over you.
It can actually take a load off of your shoulders not to worry that you are too
chubby, too short, too baldwhatever the case may be.

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Chapter 9 How to Turn Yourself into a Trigger of Pleasurable

Feelings.
Have you ever met somebody who is so down, so incredibly deep in their own
depression that you cant help but get dragged down with them a little bit,
whenever you see them?
These are the kinds of people who can find something wrong with anything. Its
like theyve practiced and mastered the art of complaining, finding fault, and
generally seeing the glass as half empty. Actually, these people see the glass as
completely empty and probably headed straight for the nearest city dump to
help destroy the environment of this fragile planet we live on and I think you
know where it generally goes from there.
I had a friend like this. He was one of the really bad ones, too. He wasnt just
negative; he was so negative that he was known as an expert in dragging people
down. He could talk anybody into a funk over just about any topic.
He didnt act that way 100% of the time, but he had his moments. His streaks,
you might call them. I tended to stay away from him when he was like that. I
dont know really what his deal waswhy he was like that, or what his history
was likebut I knew that he had been an obsessively pessimistic person
virtually since Id known him.
It started with those late night phone calls. He was personable enough when we
first met, but he had this habit of calling me up at night after he was finished
working and venting about everything that had gone on in his day. Early on,
hed rant about some small thing that happened, or would tell me a story.
Half of his stories were hilarious when he told them, so I didnt mind listening,
even though they were always about how stupid and useless everyone he
worked with was, and how they all generally got paid more than he did. But I
enjoyed those talks, because he made his anger entertaining and we both had a
good time.
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Over time, however, things began to change. Like so many famous comedians
who release albums that sound less and less like comedy and more and more
like ranting, his stories got less funny. They got angrier.
He got angrier, it seemed. I dont know if talking to me at night pushed him over
some weird inter dimensional threshold to the permanent wrong side of the
bed, or what. But before I knew it, I was locked into a nearly daily ritual of
phone calls about everything that had gone wrong in my friends day.
And after he was finished reaming everyone he worked with, hed go after
politicians, religious leaders, the guy up the street, the mail manonly I
seemed to be safe. I guess I was the only sane one, huh?
Anyway, as time went on and my friend fell deeper and deeper into a kind of
complaining oblivion, hed call me. It continued to get worse until things
reached a point at which seeing his name on the screen of my phone always
made my heart sink a little bit. It was like it was just preparing for the avalanche
of horrifying and unfair things he would have to tell me that day.
I can tell you one thing, and Id be willing to bet youd have done the same. As
time went on, I started picking up his phone calls a little less often. It became a
battle every time he called me. I wanted to ignore his call and continue having a
great day. He wanted to unload another dump truck full of woes on my head.
Only common decency kept me talking to him for as long as I did.
Over time, just the mention of the guys name gave me this kind of nervous
queasy feeling. Still, to this day, when I hear someone say his name, or hear of
someone who has the same name, my stomach tightens up a little bit. In those
moments, I can already hear his voice in my head explaining everything that is
wrong with everything.
This was a long story to make a simple point, but now, youll remember that
point forever. It may seem like my oddly depressed friend (hes much better
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now, by the way; thanks for asking) has little or nothing to do with you and your
love life. And in the most direct sense, you are correct.
However, lets take a step back and look this from a broader perspective, and
you may be able to begin to pick up on the lessons my brooding, fist-shaking
friend has to offer.
Heres a good one: the human mind works with associations. Especially
emotional ones. Remember I said that just a mention of this guys name is
enough to make me feel a certain way? I had associated the way he made me
feel with his identity as a person.
I used to feel dreadful when hed call. Literally: full of dread at having to talk to
him. His negative emotions made me feel a certain way, and then changed my
behavior as a result. Thats exactly the kind of impulsive-level change were
trying to create in women.
You could almost say that whenever you talk to another person, you are trading
emotions with them. Think about it this way: they say that misery loves
company, and in my experience, thats the truth. My friend, to go back to that
example, was miserable. So he called me and told me why he was miserable.
Then I was just a little bit miserable, too. We cant help it. If you talk to
someone who is really up and positive, for example (not so much its off-putting
just somebody with a real can-do attitude), youll probably feel better about
yourself. And theres one other thing, thats really important here: youll seek
out that person again, because you liked the way they made you feel.
This is because in the trade of emotions, were all seeking out as many positive
emotions as we can. Our brain, recording our experience and cataloging it to
help us learn about our environment, forms associations between how we feel
and whats going on.
You may not know precisely why a particular person makes you nervous, but
your brain may have made some associations that youre not aware of, and
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given you a feeling to communicate those subtle things to you.

The brains emotional association makes it kind of a social compass. You can
decide who you want to be around based on how they make you feel.
I think the takeaway here for attracting women is starting to become a little
obvious, right? In order to get the girl to keep coming back, find ways to trigger
positive feelings in her. Shell like the positive emotions, and want to come back
for more.
The sooner after meeting a girl you can start working on this, the better. When
you first meet a girl, she doesnt have any emotional associations with you at
all. How you make her feel at first will form her first impression, and those can
be hard to shake.
Do it right, and the results are fantastic. She goes a little crazy for you, and
every time she runs into a reminder of you, whether its a song that comes on
that you listened to together, or driving by a restaurant where you took her,
shell feel a little flush of excitement and happiness.
Anytime someone mentions your name, she might start acting a little bit more
giddy than she normally does. When you send her a text, or call her, I can
guarantee you shes a lot more likely to answer, or respond quickly. She will be
in a high state of desire for your company.
But, of course, there is both theory and science to everything I am teaching you,
here. So lets do the science part.
There are several different techniques you can use, here. Im going to share all
of them with you (so you get your moneys worth). Mix and match them, and
practice until you develop a style you feel comfortable with. Ive mentioned this
in previous chapters, but its the most important ingredient of the entire
program, so please make sure you are actually practicing this. The sooner you
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can make all of these techniques second nature, the sooner you can get to a
place of being able to choose whatever woman you want, and make her feel or
do whatever you want.
Okay, here we go. The first method.
1- The Moving Target Method
Have you ever hunted a creature that was trying to run away from you? How
about played a video game where you had to shoot down enemy spaceships? If
youve ever hunted anything, shot a BB gun, or played video games, then you
know about moving targets.
If you havent, and you are not sure what a moving target means, then let me
take a minute here and enlighten you. If youre trying to shoot at something, a
few factors affect the difficulty of the shot. For example, the farther away the
target is, the more difficult the shot. Obviously.
But then there are other factors as well, some of which are less well-known.
Changing wind speeds and directions over the path of the bullet can also make
a shot harder. Windy conditions make things nearly impossible. Even the
rotation of the Earth can become a factor, depending on how far away your
target is.
And a target thats standing still is far easier to hit than a target that is moving.
The added difficulty is such that a shot which might be easy under normal
circumstances can become impossible with a moving target.
Its why hunters sneak up on everything. They want the deer standing still, so
they can actually hit it. Accurately shooting something thats moving is just too
hard to do.
Now, when we take and apply that logic to attracting women, we have to
change it a bit. Dont sneak up on anybody, for example, as that wouldnt really
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help your chances at all. In fact, it might get you slappedor arrested. Stick
with what works, instead. Like this:
When you take the moving target method into the realm of attracting women,
you have to think of it as turning yourself into the moving target. To do this, you
boost the girls ego in every way possible at first. Listen to her feelings, talk to
her about the things that interest her, give her lots of compliments, take her
side in every story she tellsmake her feel completely amazing, and then
suddenly take all the attention away, and act almost like you dont even know
her.
The more completely you can disappear, the better. If youve met her in a
restaurant, look at your phone, and then excuse yourself and leave. Find your
server and pay on your way out the door.
But this technique works best in one particular venue: over the phone. This
works so well while youre talking or texting with a girl because you can easily
disappear whenever you want. Its much harder to vanish in person. Unless you
are a ninja. In which case, more power to you. Im honored ninjas have decided
to come to me for their dating advice needs.
I used this on a girl once while we were talking on the phone, and the situation
perfectly illustrates how I want you to approach this technique. I gave her a lot
of attention, really listened to her, and she talked for what seemed like a couple
hours straight about herself and her life. I was really interested. Some of it was
boring, but I really wanted to see how well I could make this technique work, so
I laid on the charm the whole time I was talking to her.
But right in the middle of one of her stories, one she was particularly enjoying
telling, I interrupted her in a hurried voice, telling her that I had to go.
Hey, gotta run. Sorry. That was all I said. And I hung up instantly. I didnt offer
an explanation, or even a chance for her to get any questions out before I hit
the End button. She didnt even have time to say Okay or Bye. I was
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already gone.
She sent me a text right about then asking me what had happened. I could tell
she thought it was probably something completely innocentsomeone else
was calling me, someone was at the door, the cat fell into the aquarium and was
getting eaten by the octopus, whateverbut she couldnt help her curiosity. I
knew that the technique had started to work when I heard my phone ding and
then saw that the text was from her.
Hey, whered you go? she said. I said nothing. No response at all. Several
hours later, I got another text from her. She wasnt so sure it was innocent
anymore: Did I do something wrong? she said. I still did not respond. It was
hard not responding. I couldnt wait to get back on the phone with her. But I
had to make myself not talk to her.
I let her hang for a few more hours before I finally called her back. She was sure
that I was either dead or completely hated her by that point. I acted like
everything was fine, though I never explained where Id gone. She was relieved
when I told her that it had nothing to do with her. She was also relieved that I
did not hate her. She really had started to suspect that she had done something
wrong. Her brain had worried her to death when I behaved so strangely. She
didnt know how to interpret it.
Remember before, when we talked about the Zeigarnik Effect, and how the
human brain absolutely cannot abide something incomplete? If theres a task to
be done or a situation to be resolved, the human brain will naturally gravitate
towards thinking about that task or situation until it figures out how to get
resolution.
When you behave in a way that doesnt make sense, like I did when I cut the
conversation short for no apparent reason, you create an unknown situation,
and her brain cant help but want to figure out what happened. So I let her sit
there and wonder about me for several hours. She cant help but keep thinking
about me, and what I am doing, and what called me away so suddenly.

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The more you can get her thinking about you, the more subconscious attraction
youre actually creating. This also ties in with the concept of the emotional
shakeup from previous chapters. She is feeling great positive emotions early on,
but then shes worrying about why youre acting strange.
So, to summarize, the best way to make the most of this technique is to think of
yourself as a moving target. Whenever she thinks shes got a bead on you, you
change direction, for no apparent reason. She cant figure out why you did it, so
shes stuck wondering. The more she wonders, the more she finds herself
thinking about you, and the more natural subconscious attraction you are
creating.
She cant define you, understand you, or nail you down. The mystery keeps her
interested.
2- The State-Builder Technique
Not all of the material in this book is easy as A-B-C, 1-2-3, or do-re-mi. This
technique in particular is a little bit more difficult to get than some of the other
ones. But, like many things in life, if you take the time to understand and master
it, you can be sure to have the girl in a crazy heat of desire every time.
Were going to need a little bit more psychology to fully understand why this
technique works. But its actually one of the more amazing techniques Ive
seen, as simple as it is. In fact, its so simple it almost seems stupid.
Pretend for a moment that you are sitting on a subway train across from
another person. Now, you make eye contact with that person. You know that
they can see out the window behind you. If you see them glance out the
window at something behind you, you will naturally feel emotions based on
what you see registering in their face.
If a person looks behind you and makes a horrified, afraid face, then youll turn
quickly, ready to fend off an attack. If a person looks behind you and breaks into
a huge grin, youll turn around expecting to see something awesome.
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The reason this works is because of what are called mirror neurons. Your brain
has a very hard time telling the difference between actions you are performing
and actions that you are watching someone else perform. Its why athletes run
their events in their minds before they do them in real life.
This also means that if one person in an interaction feels something strongly, its
a good bet that the other person is going to start to feel that way a little bit as
they talk. You cant help it. Some people trigger really positive emotions, and
some people trigger really negative ones (like my really negative friend from
earlier in the chapter).
Now, lets start to tie this in with picking up women, and youll see how it can
really benefit you in this particular method. Most girls have been brought up
partially by Hollywood. In Hollywood, things happen a certain way that they
dont always happen in real life. Music doesnt play as you kiss the girl in the
rain and live happily ever after. Every escape is not a narrow one, and the good
guys dont always win in real life.
But at an emotional level, a lot of girls dont think that way. Most guys dont,
either. But were trying to pick up girls, here, not guys, so that doesnt matter
for right now.
What does matter is this: there are millions of girls out there who were raised
by movies, and who subconsciously walk around assuming that life should work
exactly the same way. And it feels great to think that way: if you really thought
that your fantasies could come true, and you saw it (even in fiction) repeatedly,
youd really start to believe it.
Those mirror neurons have the girl completely convinced that she, too, can
land a totally dreamy man with millions of dollars and a deep investment in her
every tiniest little emotion because shes seen it happen to so many women on
the silver screen.

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Even if that dream is completely unrealistic.

Now, you cannot actually swoop and make those fantasies real (most likely: any
billionaire playboys reading this book might be able to do just that, but this
book is for the rest of us). You can, however, do something else that capitalizes
on those fantasies. It all has to do with states.
Now what do I mean by that odd statement, it has to do with states? Not like
Arizona or New Hampshire, obviouslymental states. Emotional states. Let me
try explaining this with a story. That should make things a little bit clearer.
I went on a date with this particular girl once: the whole time we were together,
I did one thing over and over again that really weirded the girl out. I kept
looking at her and giggling to myself. I started out quiet, but I kept doing it over
and over again. At first, the girl just stared at me, like she wasnt sure what was
going on. She could not figure out what I was up to, but I just kept at it. Finally,
she smiled a little bit, too.
But I just kept doing it. Before I knew it, we were both sitting there just giggling
at each other. And she still had no idea what was going on. She asked me, but I
just kept giggling. Finally, we were in this elated, silly state.
The rest of the date went awesome, because we started out by laughing
together so much. It got her into a different state (theres the word againsee
how it all ties together?) that made her more amenable to hanging out with me
and letting her guard down a little bit. That way, we were able to have a lot
more fun.
Fancy neurons and scientific experiments or not, feelings are contagious. People
cant help but pick up on how you are feeling, and feel that emotional state
reflected in their own mood. I used this to my advantage, here, because I knew
that if I presented a peak state of happiness to her repeatedly, that shed
eventually pick up on the vibe, and feel happy, even though she might have no
idea what she was so happy about.
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Girls are especially susceptible to this sort of thing because of the different
ways men and women process emotions. Men will ignore an emotion if it
doesnt make sense: a woman will fixate on it and feel it and try to decide why
shes feeling that way. Let some positive emotions bleed off of you and onto
her, and shell start to wonder why it is that shes always so happy whenever
youre around.
The giggling idea was cute, and it worked really well, but theres much more to
this technique than just pointless giggles. What you want to do here is to make
sure that you are working to infect the girl with lots of positive emotions from
you, however you send them to her. Just getting yourself into a really relaxed
state will be great for drawing her in. Plus, it feels good to be in a happy and
relaxed state, so that part of the exercise should be easy for you to complete.
Then, all you have to do is let that sun shine through you, and watch all the girls
find themselves suddenly wondering how long until they get to see you again.
When I want to use this technique with a girl now, which I actually do extremely
often these days, I always act like Im super excited. I spend maybe half an hour
before I see the girl just working up that excitement within myself. I work myself
up so Im already in that state when she sees me for the first time.
I might even go further, and usually tell them that something amazing
happened, and I am on Cloud 9 as a result. They always want to know what
happened, but I never tell them. I just let them wonder. Remember from our
earlier chapters and exercises - how letting the girl wonder is a great way to get
thinking about you constantly and thus make her feel more attracted to you? I
worked that in as well here for twice the effect.
But the important part is that I am always super happy when these girls see me.
In fact, Im pretty much the opposite of my old negative friend. I always ask
myself if everything Im about to say is something hed say. If it is, I dont say it
normally. But thats just my personal rule.
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Do what you have to in order to ensure that you always present positive
emotions to the girl youre after. You can play mind games with her as well, and
give her emotional shake-ups like weve talked about before.
But what you dont want to do is be full of complaints, miserable, or angry
when you see her. Especially early on. Some girls like that emotional drama in a
guy, but most dont. Most are just regular people who would always prefer to
be around someone who makes them feel good about the world and especially
about themselves.
Eventually, something amazing starts to happen, as well. If you consistently
apply this technique, youll create an actual association deep in the girls mind
between you and a happy, relaxed emotional state. Once her brain has the
subconscious association in place between you and happiness, shell want to be
around you all the time. Because of course she wants to feel good all the time!
And the better you get at this, the more it starts to become natural, just like
everything else in this book. Id be willing to bet as well that continually getting
yourself to feel excited and upbeat will have wide-ranging positive effects over
your entire life. You might find that everybody responds to you better, not just
girls.
This is a powerful tool, for that reason. Your confidence improves, and you set
up a loop of continually improving states for yourself, which then makes this
technique work even better. Onwards and upwards.
Use your common sense when you apply this. Some people, when they are sad,
dont want to have Barney the Very Merry Purple Dinosaur six inches from their
face bellowing about what a wonderful day it is today. So if the girl is already in
a bad mood for some reason, or shes having an off day, then you may want to
lay off and leave her alone.
There are two reasons for this: one, an overly positive outlook can make
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someone who is already angry even angrier. Secondly, you want to be

associated with positive emotions. Be around her in a negative state, and shell
start to associate you with those negative emotions, even if you did nothing to
cause them.
Just remember that whatever is happening when you two are hanging out is
what she is going to associate with you. That is going to determine to a great
degree how excited she gets to hang out with you when the opportunity arises.
Make sure that the time you spend with her is fun time. Even if youre doing
something mundane, turn it into the most exciting mundane activity of the
century.
3- Be the Leader She Expects You to Be
I had this friend a few years ago who always wanted to start a restaurant. He
was a bartender, and he didnt quite have the money to make it work, but he
had it all planned out. He had a menu, ideas for drinkseverything. His
restaurant sounded like a pretty run-of-the-mill place when he described it, but
there was one great thing about his restaurant that Im going to remember
forever.
What are you going to call it? I said. Toms?
Oh, I have the best name. Im gonna call it Wherever You Want, Honey.
Now, how many times have you been in the car with a girl (or with anyone, for
that matter) and the question came up, where do you want to go? Theres
always a bit of a back and forth on that question. Someone inevitably says,
Wherever you want, honey.
If hed ever gotten the restaurant off the ground, then maybe this technique
wouldnt work anymore. But fortunately, as far as I know he is still a bartender,
so being the leader she expects you to be is still a viable technique. Heres how
it works.

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I used to do exactly the same thing as I described above when Id take a girl out.
Naturally, I didnt want to take her somewhere shed feel uncomfortable or
wouldnt want to be, so I just asked her what she felt like doing.
and guess what she said?
Oh, I dont know. Whatever you want.
Wed go back and forth a while, until one of us gave up and suggested
something out of frustration. Not a great way to pick a place for a date. Most of
the time, we ended up doing something boring. Occasionally, things turned
odd. Those dates make great stories and better learning experiences, but I dont
think they ever really led to much success. I cant remember many of the girls
who I dated like that ever calling me back very often.
It may be the 21st century, and women may get educations and jobs and voting
rights just like everybody else, but that does not mean that a girl never wants
you to take the lead. In fact, most girls still really do want you to take the lead.
They want to be taken out. Thats so much better than driving down the road
feeling bored and awkward with your date.
In the old days, as Im sure you know, a womans survival was all about being
able to hitch herself to a good man. Whether it was because there were polar
bears and saber-toothed tigers just outside camp waiting to eat her children
(and Ill stick with regular old child support), or because society required that a
woman have a husband, women have long grown accustomed to men taking
the lead when the sexes get together.
Now, this is changing, and there are plenty of women out there nowadays who
have no problem opening their own doors, paying for their own dates, and
asking out guys just like they were the guy and it was 1925. But by no means
should you be relying on the girl to take the lead. If anything, she should be
relying on you. It may just be vestige of those bygone eras, but girls still see a
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man who knows where he is going and what he wants as a strong, attractive
man.
Never ask a girl what she wants to do. Just pick something and do it. Believe
me, if she doesnt like it, shell let you know sooner or later. What she may not
tell you, but what shell definitely notice, is how nice it is to have a guy take the
lead. She can just sit back, relax, and be attractive.
That goes for conversation topics, as well. Under no circumstances should I be
hearing that any of you are saying What do you want to talk about? to a girl.
Absolutely not. If theres a lull in the conversation, grab a topic and run with it.
Girls in general, because of the way they relate to each other and the world at
large, are better conversationalists than men are. If you just pick a topic and
start talking about, she will have no problem falling in and discussing it with
you. And many women say that they wish that the men in their lives would
open up and talk to them more. Take the opportunity to be that guy, and to take
the lead in the conversation.
Girls really want a man who can provide for them. This goes all the way back to
those saber-toothed tigers. The kids have to eat, and it sure is nice when her
man can go out and go hunting for her. All she has to do is love him, and he
takes great care of her.
Many girls on an emotional level desire something like this. Being provided for
and protected are of high value in a girls mind. If youre confident enough that
you already know where you want to eat, what you want to order (maybe even
what she wants to order!), and what youll be doing together afterwards, then
you tend to come off as that strong kind of guy. The kind of guy who can do any
protecting and providing that might be necessary.
Heres what I did: Id show up at the girls place, and pick her up. I wouldnt tell
her where we were going beforehand, and I certainly didnt ask for her input or
opinion.

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I just let her in the passengers side door, hopped in the drivers seat, and took
off down the blacktop. Shed always ask where we were going. And, of course,
Id never tell her.
Youll like it when you see it, Id say. She gets to sit back and relax, now, and
just let the evening happen. You, the provider, have arranged it all for her. Not
only does it trigger a lot more attraction in her but it also makes her feel this
unconscious sense of belonging to you which makes her more and more
inclined to like you.
4- Get Her to Do Things For You
People are nuts. You ever notice that?
Like, heres an example: if you do someone a favor, and then ask them for a
favor in return, you might be more likely to get it. In fact, its about as likely to
happen as if youd done them no favor at all. But get someone to do something
for you once, and then ask again, and theyre much more likely to do the second
favor.
This is a bizarre part of human psychology, but it does have the research to back
it up. And by that I dont mean fancy medical research (though theres plenty of
that, too); I mean my own hands-on research in the trenches with real girls. And
that little fact about human nature leads to a whole new technique that can
work powerfully towards helping you get any girl you desire with ease.
I have to be honest, though: I dont know why it works this way. It just seems to
be a weird fact of human nature. If you can get a girl to do favors for you, or
little everyday things, then she will start to feel a sense of emotional investment
in you, and will be far more interested than if she hadnt done anything for you.
Again, I know its weird, but I dont know how it works.
I did it this way: Id hold out my brief case and ask the girl to hold it while I put
my phone into a difficult pocket in my jacket. Simple, and very small, but also
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very effective. She feels emotionally invested in me because shes standing

there holding my briefcase while I do something with my hands. Its not
precisely logical, but it does make a kind of sideways sense.
It worked so well that I tried moving up to bigger and better things. I started
asking girls to take me to their homes and cook for me. They started saying yes,
and actually doing it.
And afterward, they were far more attracted to me than they were beforehand.
I felt like Id won two lotteries at the same time: all the free food I could possibly
eat, and tons of attention from new girls (some of whom were excellent cooks,
by the way).
I started asking girls for ideas when I had new projects to work on, and for lots
of other favors besides. The vast majority of the time, the girls agreed to do
whatever I had asked for, and in the vast majority of those cases, she was way
more attracted afterwards.
This technique helps to solidify the connection youre building in her brain
between the two of you. Sprinkled with positive emotions and with you as the
decisive but mysterious leader, you are creating an image in her impulsive mind
of the two of you together. It creates a force of attraction in her mind that is like
addiction, but perhaps even more powerful. She simply will not be able to
contain her desire or control herself.
If you can use all these techniques frequently until you are extremely good at
them, and then mix and match them to fit whatever situation you find yourself
in, youll be unstoppable.
The combination of techniques outlined here are probably the most powerful
material in the entire book. But you have to get good at them. I really cannot
stress that enough. But put in the effort, and over time, a girl will associate the
very image of you with pleasurable feelings. She wont be able to help but fall
head over heels for you.
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Chapter 10 The Most Important Skill

I heard a saying once: it takes years to build a reputation, and only seconds to
sink one.
In fact, the more pristine your reputation is to begin with, the worse even a tiny
slip-up can be.
Look at Mr. Perfect, everybody laughs. Not so perfect now, huh?
Its one of those strangely backwards facts of life: youd think people might err
on the side of forgiveness. But for whatever reason, once a reputation is lost,
youll have to start right back at square one.
This has everything in the world to do with attracting women. Unfortunately,
you can spend vast fortunes of effort and money building up attraction between
you and a girl, and follow all of the steps in this book (and many others
besides), and still ruin all of it with a single wrong move. No matter what is
happening in the situation at hand, you have to stay on your guard.
She might seem like she really, really likes you, but you can still screw it up. For
this reason, you need to make sure that you take the right steps, and say the
right things. Perhaps even more importantly, you cant say any of the wrong
things.
So you cant exactly sit back and relax once youve dropped a few good lines or
seen her touching her hair while talking to you. You might have some
momentum going, but momentum has no meaning if you trigger a complete
shutdown. I knowthis is probably frightening to hear for many alreadyfrustrated guys. But its not as bad as it sounds. Let me explain.

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Youve probably never heard this, but women are biologically programmed to
test you before they make a decision as to whether theyre attracted to you.
Youve probably had girls test you in this way before, though you almost
certainly didnt realize it at the time. Girls are pretty good at it, since theyve
been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years, if not longer. Men dont really
test women (except maybe when you check out her butt while she walks to the
bathroom), so were not very good at picking up when a woman is testing us.
There is a good reason why women do this, however. Thousands of years ago,
gender equality didnt really exist. Typically, each gender had its own role in the
tribe. These different jobs meant that men and women evolved with different
ways of interacting.
In those heady hunter-gathering days, men jockeyed for status based on who
was the strongest, or the eldest, or the best hunter. There was a pecking order
among the men, and they kept it that way. Ancient men created titles,
traditions, and codes of laws to help preserve that pecking order. There were
(and are)many written and unwritten rules of conduct between men, designed
to preserve and determine the pecking order. You know that every group of
men has a dominant or alpha male among them.
Today, pecking order among a group of guys might determine little more than
who has the hottest girlfriend or who takes care of arguments among the guys.
In those days, it was the difference between all you could ever want to eat and
a grand palace, and a freezing teepee at the edge of the camp eating everybody
elses leftovers for dinner.
Women, on the other hand, didnt have that kind of pecking order. They didnt
go out hunting, and typically there was a low risk of one of them getting gored
during a risky mammoth take-down. The women in the tribe had two primary
jobs: taking care of the camp, and having children. Having children was far
riskier in those days than it is today, and people died at far younger agesin
fact, the oldest people in a Stone Age camp were probably around 35 or 40.
But Stone Age mothers loved their children, too. They wanted to make sure that
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they could pick mates who would be able to provide for the kids as they grew
up. Perhaps even more importantly, a pregnant woman is incapable of doing
much physical work, especially as her pregnancy comes to term. In rough-andtumble times like those, a woman had to be able to make sure that the man she
chose for herself would be able to take care of her.
Things today are much different, thankfully. Youre unlikely to be judged by
women based on how many skunk pelts you have, or how far you can throw a
spear. But that doesnt mean women will never test you. The biological need
still exists. And the same rules do, in a way, still apply. Social status still means
something.
All of that aside, and getting back to the topic at hand: the most important
thing to remember is that women are going to test you. They are going to it
frequently. You need to be ready.
Youll probably get your first test the first time you meet her. Tell me if this
sounds familiar: youre out at a bar or club somewhere, and you run into a girl.
Shes cute, and she seems to be looking at you from across the room, so you
walk up and say hello. But when you try to talk to her, you find she acts as if she
wasnt really interested. This has happened to me many times. These girls use
that initial hard-to-get game as a test.
Or, you might run into a girl who asks you to do something crazy early on.
Heres one that actually happened to me: I walked up to a girl in a bar, and we
talked for only a few seconds. Suddenly, she turned to her friends behind her,
and then looked back at me and said, with a flip of her hair and a coy grin, Do
you wanna buy drinks for me and my friends? It was an odd question. I didnt
really know what to do. So I agreed.
That was exactly the wrong thing to do. When I look back, I can see that the
weird question was actually a test. Because I gave in and did what she wanted, I
showed my own weakness. Weak people are rarely attractive, whether men or
women. She got a free drink for a consolation prize. I got to take a walk.

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I never said the game was fair. I just said Id teach you how to play it.
I sense that youre probably a bit nervous by now. I think I know why. Just like in
a math textbook, it seems so easy when the guy from the book explains it. But
then you have to sit down and do your own problems without any guidance.
Suddenly, all the numbers and operation signs are Nepalese pictograms, and
you cant quite remember how adding works.
Im going to make sure you understand these tests backwards and forwards.
Once you do, being in the heat of the moment wont rob you of your great lines
and practiced cool.
Unfortunately, however, I cant go through every conceivable scenario with you.
Ill give you some common examples later on, to get you started. To truly master
this skill, however, you must be able to notice a test when a girl gives you one.
Then, you must be able to formulate and deliver a knockout response.
When the girl in the last example asked me to buy drinks not only for her, but
also for all her friends, she was challenging me. And I had no idea. So I did what
most guys would probably do in that situation: theyd try and impress the girl.
Theyd go ahead and throw down for everybodys drinks. Then theyd go
swaggering by the table like some kind of hotshot. And at the right moment,
lead the girl out the door by the arm home.
right?
Essentially the opposite happened. She made a suggestion that was clearly
nonsense (at least now, in hindsight). She was trying to take the power away
from me. I let her, and I lost out.
No matter what the test, always keep the power.
If you take up the girl on her suggestion, and do whatever she says, you give her
all the power. How attractive does a powerless man sound to you? To me,
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that sounds like one of those sad, scared guys you see hanging around every
hot girl, giving her complimentsand wondering why it isnt working.
So how do you keep from failing one of these tests? You have to shut her down.
Instead of just giving the girl whatever she wants, and following through with
her weird request, you have to remain completely emotionally unreactive. If
youre afraid of offending her,or of saying something wrong then you are
probably going to fail her test. Try this instead. She says:
Like, hey! Wanna, like, buy drinks for me and all my, like, friends?
Stay cool, cadetits all a simulation. You say to her,
Now what kind of way is that for you to introduce yourself to a total stranger?
Its the 21st century, babe: big girls buy their own drinks.
Lets analyze this. You kept the power, because you refused the request.
However, many guys would think that refusing that kind of request meant
leaving the girl alone after that. But youve already sidestepped that problem by
gently insulting her for greeting you that way. This means shes now the
defender in the situation.
Instead of you having to explain to her why she should keep talking to you, she
gets to explain to you why shes worthy of your time. If she wants to try and
take the power back, the ball now sits in her court to come up with something
to say.
So the process is simple
Step 1 Stay completely unreactive.
Step 2 Turn the tables on her.

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Step 3 Make her defend herself.

Step 4 Gently punish her for bad behavior so its not repeated.
Its time for the rubber to hit the road.
Lets say that your girlfriend has been acting out a little bit lately. You can see
shes starting to take you for granted. She might be making eyes at other guys,
treating you with disrespect, or trying to play other kinds of jealousy games, like
accusing you of cheating on her.
She thinks youll get jealous in scenarios like those, or angryyoull get
emotional, and act out, and shell learn something about you in the process.
But if you can keep your cool, stay in an emotionally unreactive state,and turn
the tables on her, you can come up smelling like roses. Or, just maybe, her
perfume.
Lets take a particularly good example: lets say your girlfriend shows up one day
and tells you a story about a really good-looking guy she met, and how they just
hit it off great. Stay calm. Stay cool. Say this:
Wow, honey, he sounds great. In fact, you know what? I think youd make a
great couple. He seems like your typeyou two would look great together 30
years from now, old and married and meant to be together forever.
Now act like nothing happened. Stay even-keeled, and unreactive. If you get
mad while you say this, or act sullen, shell know she got to you. Remain
completely emotionally blank.
When you stay completely calm, and completely unemotional, you turn the
tables on her, and even go so far as to tell her to marry him.
In short, you rejected her. See, she wants to get an emotional rise out of you.
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She wants to see the emotional power that she has over you by dropping
emotional bombs. No matter how you react to such a test, shes already won.
She has power over you the second you react. If you stay unreactive, on the
other hand, her plot to get a rise out of you has failed. Youre still in control,
both of yourself and of the situation.
Passing these tests ends up being easier than it seems at first. Like Ive said, its
an emotional gamethe kind where the only way to win is never to play. On
the other hand, girls dont want you to fail these tests. They want you to win,
because you become more attractive in their eyes. When you win at these
games, she wins, too.
So for her sake, dont play her gamesstay emotionally unreactive.
These tests come both in relationshipsespecially early onand when youre
just flirting around. If youre just approaching a girl, she might take the bitch
approach up front, and you might find your advance met with a spurn.
You might walk up and say hello, or offer to buy a drink, and get in return an icy
Guys who talk to me are normally taller. A girl who says something like this is
generally trying to touch a nerve. She wants to see how youll respond. Many
guys will take this as rejection and walk away, but the man who understands
how to stay emotionally unreactive doesnt. Instead, he looks her right in the
eye and says,
And youre in this bar because thats worked out really well for you so far, huh?
Anyway. What I said was hello. Normally, youd say, Hi, back. By doing this,
youre showing her that her attempt to get an emotional rise out of you has
failed. Youve passed the test. Additionally, youve also let her know that you
are not going to put up with that kind of behavior, by gently mentioning that
she must not be that successful, since she is still looking.

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Perhaps the oldest trick in the book is most often used by girls in the early
stages of a fresh relationship. Often, she still doesnt know the guy that well,
and shes still trying to determine what kind of man (and hence what kind of
relationship) shes in.
Virtually every woman out there knows how to play with a guys emotions by
making plans and then canceling them with a wishy-washy excuse. Then, shell
tell you shes going to call you, and not call.
Most guys know about the three-day rule. And so most guys will wait three
days, and then call her back, to see what happened. This is still failure. If you say
anything at all before she contacts you again, then you have given her the
power in the situation.
In other words, the best thing to say in this example is nothing.
A warning to the wise, however: this is a little harder than it sounds, so make
sure youre ready to do some serious emotional unreactive-ness. Youll need
every ounce of it.
Often, once a relationship becomes a little bit more stable, testing starts to
change. Girls often use tests in relationships to find out what you are thinking,
or to see if you are taking her for granted. For example, she might suddenly
demand that change your hairstyle or your clothing to fit something that she
thinks would be better.
Are you really wearing those pants tonight? she might say. She wants to see if
you are strong enough to make your own decision, or if youll cave and do what
she wants, just because she wants you to do it.
But again, stay calm, and say something like this: Yep. In fact, if anyone should
change You can trail off for effect, or add maybe it should be you. Again,
youve calmly refused to play any games, and ended the subject. And, youve
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punished her a little bit by suggesting that maybe its her who should be
changing, not you. The tables are now turned on her to defend herself.
A surprising number of guys have found themselves in the unenviable position
of having to convince a girlfriend that they arent cheatingeven when they
actually arent.
Out of nowhere, the girl will accuse you of sleeping with one or several other
girls, when youre completely innocent. Next thing you know, youre bringing
her flowers and standing in front yard in the rain singing Omarion songs you
get the picture. Not a pretty one.
Instead of freaking out and trying to defend yourself against these outlandish
charges, remain as calm and cool as if you really knew she were bluffing (which
she is).
Say something like, Yep. Definitely. In fact, were getting married next month.
Youve made it clear how ridiculous you think her game is, by refusing to even
deny the charges. And youve given her just a little punishment in the form of a
threat to actually do what she says she suspects you of doing.
Its hard to say which is worse, however, because many more men have had to
stutter through a made-up answer to the question, So, where do you think this
relationship is headed?
Shes trying to find out how you feel about commitment. If you start to get
uncomfortable, shes already won. In fact, as with all of these examples, any
emotional response at all is an automatic loss for you. Remain emotionally
unreactive. Say, Keep asking weird questions like that, then probably nowhere
good.
There really is no good answer to that question, and youve made it clear that
youre not going to indulge her in her game. Additionally, youve made it clear
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that you know its a game, and given her a little punishment for it, by suggesting
that the relationship is not headed good places, because of her games.
But many girls are willing to go quite a long way to get what they want. In fact,
she may go so far as to threaten a breakup if you dont comply. I really dont
feel like you care about me, or listen to me, she might say. And unless that can
change, then I dont see there being a future for us.
This sounds so much like a breakup that many men go into damage control
mode, promising everything under the sunup to and including a ringin
order to prevent what they think is the inevitable. Dont do this. It only makes
things worse. Instead, say, I am me.
If you want to date someone else, then I think thats great for you. Take me or
leave me. Do whatever youre going to. This can be a tense situation, to be
sure, but trust me when I tell you that a response like that will cut off all of the
emotional power of her fake break-up.
These are all games, and you should never let them throw you off your game.
Remember that they are specifically designed to try and push your buttons
she just wants to see what youre going to do. If you can remain strong, and let
her games roll off of your shoulders like they dont really matter to you, shell
realize they dont work, and eventually stop playing them.
Better yet, not only will you not fail a test and ruin everything that youve so far
built, youll actually gain tons of points for passing all of these tests.

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Chapter 11 How to Read Her Mind.

Mind-reading is impossible, right? Well, the laws of physics seem to say so. Its
impossible to get inside another persons head, and to know what they are
thinking, sometimes even when they themselves dont.
Right?
Well, the laws of physics may not know everything. For example, what if I told
you that mind reading was completely possible? What if I told you that you can
see through what a girl says, and find out what shes really thinking?
Since so many women play games with the guys they date, these guys often
find themselves with no idea whats going on in their own relationships. The girl
says one thing, does another, and for all he knows, may as well be thinking a
third thing. Mind reading is possible, and its easy, and Im about to teach you
how to do it.
But this isnt parlor-trick mind reading with cards or colors. This is the kind of
mind reading that will allow you to read a girls mind, and get a clear fix on how
she really feels about you. This is especially important when girls start to say
one thing, and do another. Which, as we both know, they tend to do pretty
frequently.
But lets get down to the topic at hand. Im going to start with a story that is
probably going to sound pretty familiar to a lot of guys reading this.
Back when I was just learning how to attract women really effectively, I dated
one particular girl for a while, and we ran into some issues after a particular
situation came up. She did something that I think many guys have experienced
in relationships before, and its baffling when it happens. Shed call me all the
time, just to talk. And those talks would go on. And on. And on.
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Normally, any time she called me like this, I was in for a couple of hours of her
talking about everything under the sun. She told me about her fights with her
friends, her fun time at the club, her fight with her mother over her mothers
appendectomy six years agoeverything.
This went on for a few weeks, and we went on a few dates, which were fun. She
was cute, and I liked her a lot. But one day, totally out of the blue, she called
me, seeming strange. She was acting weird on the phone, so I pressed her, to
find out what was going on. She wouldnt tell me at first, but finally she said
shed decided I wasnt really boyfriend material.
I was a little shocked, to say the least. Not only had the phone call come out of
nowhere, so had the breakup. Id had no idea it was coming. So I just said
Okay, and hung up the phone.
And then what happened, you ask?
Well, I did what just about any other guy in that situation would probably do. I
left her pretty much alone after that. I stopped talking to her, and stopped
hanging out at the places we ran into each other most often. She didnt call me
every day anymore, and I found that I missed her silly stories and pleasant
chatter. But time went on, and I licked my wounds and got back on the horse.
Eventually, something strange happened. A few weeks had gone by since the
breakup, and I hadnt heard from my ex-girlfriend in a while. I was out eating
with some friends at a restaurant for lunch, when I got a phone call. I reached
into my pocket to answer it, and looked to see who was calling.
I was about to hit the Answer button, when I stopped. It was my ex-girlfriend
calling me. Still smarting from the breakup, I didnt answer it. I was still a little
bit mad at her, and I wasnt quite ready to start talking again.
She called me a few more times, and actually kind of started chasing me again. I
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didnt understand what was happening. I thought that maybe she really just
wanted to be friends. I definitely did not want to be friends with her, so I never
called her or tried to hang out with her.
Shed rejected me for what seemed like no reason. It was both confusing, and
painful. I was still relatively new at attracting women. My skin wasnt that thick,
yet. I was still a few nasty rejections and breakups away from really learning the
tricks and techniques, and being okay with myself enough not to worry about
what one particular girl might think.
So I ignored her. Shed call me and Id refuse to answer. She chased after me for
a few weeks, and we talked once or twice, but by and large communication was
cut off. Finally, she took the hint and moved on. I havent run into her since.
Since that time, Ive seen other girls do the same thing, and I know that its a
common behavior among a lot of women.
This might sound like strange behavior, unless youve ever experienced itthen
it probably reminds you of somebody from your past. Either way, you need to
understand whats going on here. Otherwise, youll take her at her word, like I
did, and youll absolutely lose out. Misreading a situation like this is easy for
most guys, since we dont typically play the kinds of mind games that girls so
often do.
So, whats the reality of the situation? Whats really going on? Most guys will
tell you that when a girl says that she does not see you as boyfriend material,
she means it. Youve been friend-zoned, these guys will tell you. And its
virtually impossible to get out of the friend zone. If you have in fact been
friend-zoned, it can be hard to get out.
But is that really the case? Maybe. But only to a certain extent.
Heres the thing: girlfriends pull stunts like the one above all the time. Theyll
say one thing and do another. Most guys make the same mistake I did, and they
listen to the girls words. You have to pay attention to what she does as well as
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what she says, because both of these are important.

However, between her words and her actions, you must remember that her
actions are far more important than the words. This is what most guys fail to
understand. Girls say a lot of thingswe all know thats true. And a lot of what
they say is not really how theyre feeling or what theyre thinking.
When many women talk, theyre actually just talking out loud. Women do not
always speak for the purpose of conveying information. Many women just talk
for the sake of talking, just for the pleasure of each others company. Women
will tell stories that have absolutely no point, just to share their feelings with
each other.
This sounds bizarre to you and me, but these are the women weve chosen to
love, right? But when you hear it, it makes a pretty good reason why listening to
anything that a woman tells you is probably not the best idea. Watch what she
does instead. Heres what this might look like when it shows up in your own life.
Youll come across plenty of women who will tell you that they dont like you,
but then act like they do. This is so common that I cannot begin to tell you how
important it is that you understand how to deal with situations in which the girl
says one thing and does the opposite.
A girl may very well tell you that she doesnt like you, and then follow you
around and call you all the time. She clearly does like you, and yet she continues
to insist that she does not. Its extremely odd, to be sure. But it is definitely
going to happen.
The takeaway for you is that theres no reason at all you should listen to what
shes saying. If youre getting a no from her mouth but shes touching her hair
or texting you yet again at 2 a.m., then youre probably not getting the whole
story from her mouth.

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Then again, you may run into a girl who does precisely the opposite. She may
tell you that she finds you attractive. But then you may find yourself in an
unenviable position: when you call, she doesnt answer. She doesnt reply to
your texts, or want to hang out very often. This is a bad place to be, though
plenty of guys end up here.
Most of them have no idea what is happening. A guy does everything he can to
get a girls attention, but then he finds that the way she acts makes him feel like
shes not quite into him. That sneaking feeling is right: her actions are shouting
in your face that you should cut and run. Theres nothing to be won, here.
You may have to face some hard truths in these situations. Shes giving you a
clear indication of whats going on.
Have you ever heard the saying, Actions speak louder than words? Take this
literally, and apply it here. A girls actions are always more important than
anything she says. Fortunately for us, most girls act in a much more consistent
way than they talk. A girl will say a lot of things, many of them often
contradictory. However, its rare that a girls behavior is quite as erratic as what
she says.
When a woman really likes a man, shell put him first in her world. Other things
become second priorities as you become more important in her life. Many men
find this a little strange, and its caused more than a few relationships to start to
seem suffocating to the men in them. But thats really just how it works in a
womans world.
Most guys, trying to listen to what a woman says, and thinking that its an
accurate gauge of what shes actually thinking about. Most women out there
will say that they want one particular thing or another in a relationship, or that
they like a certain kind of guy. But then, you may see them behaving very
differently in real life. Their actions seem to completely contradict what they
say.

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For example, I knew a girl once who told me that she really only liked nice guys.
We had gone on a few dates, but we worked better as friends. And though we
hadnt had a nasty breakup, or anything like that, I was still curious to find out
more about her taste preferences.
I felt like I was a pretty nice guy, and Id definitely been kind to her.I wondered if
maybe she wasnt actually into nice guys. Maybe she was just saying that. It was
a strange thought, but I decided on a whim to pursue it, and see if I could learn
anything. I learned something very valuable from this experience. But let me
tell you exactly what happened, first.
So I waited to see what other kinds of guys shed date. I was not still into her at
all, though she was attractive. I was just curious to see what, if anything, Id
done wrong in creating attraction.
Well, the next time I saw her with a guy, he was someone I knew. Better yet, he
was someone I knew to be a complete jerk when it came to girls. He always
treated them poorly, and played all kinds of games. In fact, Id heard my friend
specifically say that she would specifically never date that particular guy.
It was shocking, to say the least. I asked her about it, and she said that he was
actually really nice, and that most people had him wrong. Sound a bit familiar?
Youve probably known a girl before who acted like this. Of course, the guy
turned out to be exactly like I knew hed be, and yet they stayed together for
months. When they broke up, it was he who dumped her. I was puzzled, and so
I waited longer, to see if shed repeat the performance, or if maybe this most
recent guy had been some kind of fluke.
Well, as I knew this girl for a longer and longer period of time, every guy she
ever dated always seemed to be a total jerk. She said she liked nice guys, but
she certainly never dated any.
Her actions indicated that she liked jerks, and she continued to date them. It
blew my mind at first, but I could never get her to see the pattern that she was
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in. She always thought the next guy was really nice, even after he acted like a
jerk over and over again. And yet she stayed with him.
She continued to go after the same kinds of guys, regardless of how often she
said that all she wanted was for a man to be nice to her. I continued to be nice
to her, and I continued to remain just a friend. Guys who played games and
brought drama to her life were the ones she seemed most interested in having
around, despite what shed say to them and to everyone else about what it was
she actually wanted both in a man and in a relationship.
Okay, so youre probably getting close to ready to tear out some of your hair
trying to understand why this worksthe way that it does. However,
unfortunately you wont ever understand why it works this way unless you can
become a woman yourself (and then it would be something of a moot point,
dont you think?).
Then again, it might not even help if you could step into a womans brain. The
more women I hang around, the more examples I see on a daily basis that
women dont have a clue what they want.
Women all grew up watching romantic comedies. If youve ever seen one, you
know how unreasonable they can be. Those movies are full of ideas about what
women should find attractive in them. If a girl feels attracted to something
other than what the movies they watch have told them theyre supposed to,
theyll say theyre attracted to the right things. But when a girl actually goes
after a guy, she goes with what she really wants, not with what she thinks shes
supposed to want.
A girls told that she wants a guy who will be nice to her. It looked good when
the guy in the movie did it, and he started out a complete jerk. So she assumes
that real life must be that way.
Whatever the specifics are, you can bet that many women have been brought
up to think some strange things about how relationships work, and whats
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actually attractive in a man. This is why girls will tell you that they like you
they feel like they should like your type of guyand then not act like it in any
way whatsoever.
But culture is just one of the many reasons that girls struggle to know what they
want. There are plenty of other ways that girls get twisted in their thinking
about relationships. Im not going to go over all of them right now and right
here, because there are far too many. Some of them probably wouldnt make
much sense to you or I, either way.
And in the end, understanding exactly why a girl is acting one way and talking
another way is beside the point. Ultimately, the lesson here is that between the
actions and what she says, what she says will always be the more unreliable of
the two.
If you can listen to a girls actions, you can see through the web of confusion
that her words will create for you. She may seem just as confused as you are
about what she is thinking. By using this technique, you may know better than
even she does whats going on in her head. I cant tell you enough how valuable
this is when dealing with women. Youll stay two steps ahead of her, and be able
to create attraction where there is none.
Better yet, you can know whether to keep trying or cut and run, without having
to spend so much time analyzing what the girl says. As Ive learned the hard
way in my years of relationship practice and helping other guys, you probably
couldnt even get to what a girls thinking by trying to analyze what she says.
Youd end up just as confused as she was, and we both know how that works
out.
Truth be told, perhaps the best advice I can give you is to pay little attention to
what a girl says she wants. What she actually goes after, what she actually does,
are the only things to which you should pay any attention. That way, your radar
will be less clouded with misdirection and confusing statements from her. You
can focus on what she actually does, and learn a lot about whats going on
inside of her head.
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A girl who really cares for you will show it in her actions. Shell pick up the
phone when you call her. Shell do favors for you, cook meals for you, and
change her schedule to match yours. She wont just talk about how much she
likes you: shell actually show it.
I hope that youve gained an understanding of how this works. I encourage you
to pay attention to a girls actions, and treat her as if she never said anything,
and all you could hear were her actions. Youll be surprised how quickly your
results change just by putting into practice this one step. Even if you got nothing
else out of this book, you can still change your results radically with just this.

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Conclusion...
And so we come to the end of our time together. I hope youve enjoyed the
ride, and discovered some good ideas to use out there in the trenches.
I cant stress enough the value of practice. Keep reading this book over and
over, until you know the concepts in it backwards and forwards. But book
learning only goes so far, and it isnt far enough.
If you could do one single thing that would ensure your success with women
more than any technique in any book anywhere, it would be to talk to them. All
of them. Talk to every woman who will listen to you.
The more women you get to know and understand, the more this material will
start to make intuitive sense. Youll develop a sixth sense through practicing the
principles in this book that will make your interactions with women practically
effortless. Especially compared to what those interactions are probably like
right now.
Lets recap all the information from the book, so you have a convenient cheat
sheet to use if you need to find a particular concept quickly. Consider this your
Official Field Guide to Attracting Women. Ive arranged the concepts by
chapter.
Chapter 1: Understanding the Female World
In Chapter 1, I asked you to visualize what it would be like if you were a hot girl.
Youd have offers from guys everywhere you wentso many, in fact, that it
would be impossible for you to accept them all, or even a large part of them.
Real hot girls naturally and subconsciously practice the Automatic Rejection
Process. A really hot girl will reject you by default unless theres a good reason
not to.

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It isnt personal, since youre one of many men who have probably expressed
interest in her today. But if you can learn to stand out from the crowd, you
wont need to worry about any of those guys.
Women tend to be the most attracted to the guy who makes them feel the
most positive emotions about themselves, and about the guy. Learning how to
properly use emotional communication to make a girl feel positively about you
and your situation can make you the guy who stands out from the crowd.
Chapter 2: The Impulsive Desire Formula
Some decisions you make with logic. You sit down and think about the decision,
weigh the pros and cons, and then do what you think seems best. On the other
hand, other decisions are made below the level of logic. These decisions are
made at the impulsive level. This is the part of your brain that regulates your
heartbeat and makes you feel hungry. You might call it your emotional brain.
Using the Impulsive Desire Formula, you can trigger attraction in a girl at that
impulsive, emotional level. Do this successfully, and not only will she be eating
out of the palm of your hand, shell have no idea why she is.
We also introduced the concept of the Emotional Attraction Scale. This
measures on a scale from 1 to 10, with 10 the highest, the depth of emotion
that a girl feels for you. At 1 is complete apathy. At 8 or above, the girl is filled
with powerful desire for you, and she badly wants more. Experts in
relationships can keep a girl at an 8 or above consistently.
We also promised to discuss how you can change your place on the scale in a
later chapter.
Chapter 3: Perceived Value Scale
While the Emotional Attraction Scale measures how strongly a woman feels
about you, the Perceived Value Scale measures how valuable a mate she
perceives you to be.
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Most guys think that their value as a potential mate comes from a particular
thing about them.
Whether its how much money you have in your bank account, how big your
penis is, or what your abs look like, these guys are convinced that all they have
to do is change something about themselves and girls will suddenly start being
attracted to them. Weve all seen really hot girls with mediocre, terrible-looking
guys. The Perceived Value Scale explains how this is possible.
There are three factors that determine your place on the Perceived Value Scale:
Emotional dominance is your ability to control your emotions, and act despite
them. Its what allows you to go up to a girl and talk to her, even though you are
afraid.
Self-assurance is your ability to stay confident even though things around you
may not make you feel confident. In order to be self-assured, you have to
develop the emotional dominance to keep from acting on your fear or
insecurity.
Attainability describes whether or not a girl thinks she has a chance to ever get
with you. Its what tells a girl who the hottest guy in the room is. You want to
remain attainable in a girls eyes, or shell give up and stop chasing you.
Chapter 4: The Sweet Spot
How can you be hard to get if she isnt trying to get you in the first place? You
cant. And thats why playing hard to get doesnt work. You have to start out by
expressing interest in the girl. Otherwise, you remain a wallflower, and shell
never talk to you. However, pulling back does work, though most guys do it
wrong.
In order to get to the sweet spot of desire, you have to be willing to express
interest much more strongly than most guys do. And you dont need to pull
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back nearly so far. In fact, doing things like canceling plans all the time or always
being too busy to hang out with her will make you seem unavailable, and
therefore less attainable. Instead, dance right on the edge of being attainable.
Let her know loud and clear that you are interested, then pull back just enough
that she has to chase you.
Chapter 5: Dominance and Submission
We began to explore the concepts of the leader, and the reactor in this chapter.
Most of the time, in a situation between a man and a woman, the man tries to
impress the woman, and she gets to decide whether she feels impressed or not.
Using this technique, it is possible to reverse this setup. That way, you make the
girl the one who has to impress you.
If you lead, establishing yourself as the dominant one in the situation, and then
treat the girl as if youre the catch and shes the average one, then she will pick
up on that. Shell naturally react, and start trying to prove herself to you. You
can control this by deciding how youre going to present yourself. Women dont
pick a man based on how attractive he is so much as they do based on how
attractive he perceives himself.
There are three steps to this technique. The first is to pretend that you are
already the superstar you want to be. It may seem impossible at first, but
thats why I use the word pretend. Just keep pretending until it sticks. Then,
pretend that the girl is actually the one chasing you, and treat her as if she was
already trying to get with you. You can do this while expressing interest. Make it
into a joke, and tease her.
Finally, act; dont react. Most guys will change their behavior if they start
thinking that theyre getting results they dont want. This is a sign of weakness
that girls can smell a million miles away. Instead, commit to your bit and do
what you know works. Shell get the message eventually. And so many women
desire a man who is strong in this way that they will find your action, rather
than reaction, to be a desirable trait in and of itself.
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Chapter 6: The Emotional Blowout Formula

Chapter 6 discusses how to use the Emotional Blowout Formula to shake up a
girls emotions in regards to you. This is best used when first meeting a girl to
establish yourself as someone interesting, to pique her curiosity. Or, use it
anytime things are starting to get stale. Do not, however, overuse this
technique, as it can lead to some disastrous results, like all the women you use
it on vanishing.
You must cause a girl to feel several different emotions very quickly. The more
powerful, the better. Ideally, youll want to switch back and forth from positive
emotions to negative emotions. Like any good video game, the drama keeps her
interested, addicted to finding out more about you.
Chapter 7: Intrigue Arousal Method
Wed already talked about expressing interest and then pulling back to keep a
girl chasing you. Use the Intrigue Arousal Method to pull back effectively, so
shes sure to chase you rather than losing interest.
The Zeigarnik Effect is a psychological principle that describes how the human
mind cant stand having something unfinished. It wants resolution. This is why
cliffhangers in books and movies work so well: you want desperately to find out
what happens to the main character, and how the tension gets resolved, so you
make sure to stick with the show or book series until you find out what
happens, dammit.
To use this with a girl, start to say something interesting, but halfway through
your story or interesting statement, stop in the middle, just like a cliffhanger.
Then, move on to another subject, just as if youd said nothing interesting at all.
The girl will stop you and want to know more about what you just said.
Chapter 8: Intrigue Her by Showing Her How Much You Suck
Most men are afraid to show any kind of vulnerability to a woman because they
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are afraid of being judged or rejected. Theres nothing wrong with this fear,
since virtually everybody has at least some fear of being rejected, but girls can
smell that fear and its a powerful turn-off.
So a guy who has the confidence to talk about the things that he isnt so proud
ofwhether thats his slender bank account, his height, or anything else about
him that a girl might find undesirablethat powerfully impresses a woman.
Lots of women out there complain that men have no emotional depth; they are
unwilling to be vulnerable and show another side to a woman. Its out of pride,
but its a mistake.
The best way to do this is to reveal something shocking about yourself, and use
that as the reason why you cannot be together. In other words, you might
bring up that you are too short for a particular girl. Youd mention this to her,
and tell her that shed best go find a guy whos tall enough for her.
Shell respond by trying to prove to you that she can handle your vulnerability.
This puts her in the position of chasing, and disarms any problems she might
have with your height, bank account, or whatever else it is that youre
vulnerable about.
Chapter 9: Turn Yourself into a Trigger for Pleasurable Feelings
Remember we agreed that girls tend to go for the guy who makes them feel the
best? That being the case, it would seem obvious you should make sure that
you are capable of triggering those pleasurable feelings.
When you talk to another person, you essentially trade emotions with them.
Misery loves company remains a truism because its virtually impossible to hang
out with someone whos really down and depressed (or, for that matter, up and
positive) without absorbing some of that vibe.
To trigger pleasurable feelings in a girl, then, you should one of these four basic
methods. The first of these is the Moving Target Method; in this technique, you
ensure that every time a girl thinks that she has a bead on you, you change
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direction. You might do this by being truly caring and attentive for half an hour
or so on the phone, and then jumping off the call and ignoring her for several
hours with no explanation.
The State-Builder Technique asks you to get into a particular state (in this case,
a really happy one) before you see a girl, because you already know that
whatever state youre in before you see her will bleed over into her emotional
state. If youre always a source of positivity for her, her impulsive brain will start
to associate you with those positive feelings, and shell start seeking you out
more frequently.
A slightly different technique that accomplishes the same end comes from
being the leader she expects you to be. All too many guys defer to the girl on
everything, in order to keep her happy. This is actually the thing that makes a
girl the least happy. A woman wants a man who is strong, who can handle
rejection or situations not working out. If she doesnt like where you take her
on a date, shell tell you. But shell appreciate that you chose something, and
thats a winner.
Finally, if you can get her to do things for you, youll also start to build an
association between yourself and positive feelings for her. Ask her to hold
something for you for a moment, or go all the way out and straight up ask for
her to cook dinner for you. Youd be surprised how often that ends in free food.
Not only will she enjoy doing the thing for you, but shell feel more engaged and
therefore more attracted to you as a result.
Chapter 10: The Most Important Skill
Youve heard it takes years to build a reputation, but only a few seconds to lose
one. This holds just as true with women as it does with anything else. You have
to prepare for that possibility and make sure you are ready to meet this risk.
Girls are all about secret tests. Girls use these tests because it is so easy for a
guy to misrepresent who he really is. Guys try and make themselves look good;
girls try and separate the wheat from the chaff as best they can.
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These tests are designed to throw you off your feet emotionally, to see how
strong you really are. If you can handle a girls tests, shell see you as a great
potential mate, because you can bet a ton of other guys have failed that test. If
you do fail, on the other hand, you might lose any attraction youve built up so
far.
So how do you pass a test? I describe the technique as keeping the power. This
is simply done once you understand how the power dynamic between a guy
and girl operates.
You have to stay completely unreactive. Shes trying to throw you off your feet.
If you stay unreactive, and dont show her that her games have had any
emotional impact, then you can effectively pass the test. Once youve done
that, turn the tables on her, so that she has to defend herself.
The best way to do this is to make something her fault, or accuse her of
something. Refuse to be put on the defensive by a girl. Finally, gently punish
her with a barbed comment or something similar, to let her know youre not
going to stand for her games.
Chapter 11: How to Read Her Mind
Everybody knows that girls can often seem like walking contradictions. Theyll
say one thing, do anotherwho knows whats going on in her head? Guys get
confused by this, because we grow up listening to each other talk, and men talk
differently than women do.
A guy talks to convey information, usually as accurate as he has or wants you to
know. A girl might talk just as a way of indicating a connection, or of working
through her thoughts.
So you cant really listen to what a girl says, whether shes talking about if she
like you, or what kinds of guys she likes in general. Weve all met that girl who
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claims to love nice guys but continues to date jerks. Her words say one thing,
her actions another.
If you want to crack this code, then the trick is to ignore her words and listen to
her actions. If a girl tells you that she doesnt really like you, but she wants to
hang out all the time, then it might be a safe bet that she actually does like you.
On the other hand, a girl might say that she likes you, but act very unavailable.
There are several big reasons for this. A lot of women grew up watching movies
with messages in them about what girls are supposed to like in a guy. These
women absorbed the often unrealistic stories and images of men that were
depicted in these movies, and then headed out of the theater in the daylight.
But when they met real guys, they often found that what they actually liked had
little to do with what they had been taught to like. They continue to say they
like what they think theyre supposed to like, but they date guys who match
what they really want.
Get out there as soon as possible and start practicing these principles. Review
this conclusion several times, and re-read the book again several times,
especially if some time has passed. I know that as you absorb these techniques,
and get out there in the field and start using them, that youll see amazing
results amazingly quickly. Especially if youre used to absolutely no attention
from girls.
In many cases, youre your own worst enemy. The voice in your head that
whispers that shes going to reject you, that you could never get with a girl like
that, may be the first and last thing holding you back. Conquer yourself, and you
wont have to worry too much about attracting women after that. These
techniques are designed to get you there.
Happy hunting, gentlemen. I hope I was able to help.

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