Youanna Halaka

Ali M. Meghdadi
English 39C/ Section 33337
January 23, 2015
Latency of female surgical progression leads to latency of social progression
I got my official start in science as a surgical trainee in a surgery lab, not as a medical school
student but as a first year undergraduate student. Naturally, you might ask how I was able to get
that opportunity? How did I get so good at finding that opportunity and end up taking full
advantage of it?

Commented [da1]: Try not to use rhetorical questions

too much. The 55!
Commented [da2]: Insert comma before lab.

Its hard enough to get a professional scholar to take interest in an undergraduate students
interests of joining a research lab let alone a student who has interests of becoming a
cardiothoracic surgeon, especially a female. I had to prove myself, show dedication, enthusiasm
and an undeterred personality that could break down the toughest opposition. It crossed my mind
that I was lucky enough to have this boldness genuinely defined in me, but I thought about all the
other females who wanted to pursue something this early and monumental in medicine, how hard
it would be for them to prove to medical professionals how good they truly are if they lacked that
male bravado.
It is not news that disparity and universal gender barriers are preventing women from pursuing
high-level positions. Even the in United Statesa country fabricated on fairness and equality
there still lays the social crisis of gender inequalities in STEM fields (Science Technology
Engineering Mathematics), particularly in surgical medicine. There is not a single hospital in the
U.S. that is noticing any extraordinary surge of women in male-dominated jobs. Is it womens
inherent aptitude or general perception that keeps them out of STEM occupations? The social
barrier has become a problem not just around an already existing system that is discriminatory
towards women but lack of women in male-dominated surgical professions.
The prominent factors that cause this societal disparity is based on the complexity of the
common stereotypes of gender roles. To understand this, I want to take you back to the male and
female dynamic during the1950s and 60s time period where men were regarded as breadwinners
while women were branded as happy homemakers, barefoot and pregnantforbidden to work
outside the home by their sheltering husbands. Essentially, the stereotype became associated with
the controversial idea that women merely went to college to get an M.R.S. degreein other
words to get a husband. Even amid employment surge of women during that time period, the
common conception of a womans role was in the home. Society during that era was essentially
shutting down womens freedom of speech and confining their expected responsibilities to the
home front. This was when the gender inequalities was at its cultural peakto be a good woman
accepted by society, she must get married early in life, bear children, and be a happy
homemaker.

Commented [da3]: This answer that you provided

doesnt really connect with the rhetorical questions you
mentioned in your introduction. You might want to
reconsider either changing the direction of this
paragraph or changing the questions you pose in the
beginning.
Commented [da4]: There is inconsistency in your
parallelism.
Commented [da5]: This clause should be connected
with an and rather than a comma in text. In speech, it
might be sufficient to use a comma and take a breath, but
it flows better with an and.
Commented [da6]: Switch this around, put Science,
Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics first then
put (STEM) in parenthesis so the reader knows exactly
what you are talking about initially. Always assume the
reader does not know what the acronym refers to and
with that, state the term out explicitly, then provide the
acronym.
Commented [da7]: Womens
Commented [da8]: It might be stronger if worded
something like this:
Is it womens inherent inaptitude in STEM or a
preconceived notion that prevents them from rising
through the ranks of an otherwise male-dominated field
of work?
Commented [da9]: This sentence is phrased
awkwardly. Your two clauses dont really connect that
well and its hard to understand what youre trying to get
at. Try rephrasing this,
Commented [da10]: are
Commented [da11]: This is unnecessary. By saying it in
the essay, you are already implying that you are taking
the reader back.
Commented [da12]: Just home will do. Home front
has a military connotation.

Somehow cultural pressure not only equated a married woman as a good woman but
contributed to their marital aspirations during the time, as early as right out of high school and if
a woman did not get married by her early twenties she would be forever labeled as an old maid.
Over the years, women developed this necessity to have a large family soon after marriage and
this only contributed to the stereotype of barefoot and pregnant women. Beyond these goals,
women seemed to have no educational usefulness as their ideal image was already laid out for
them. Their American dream was already defined. That evidently did not prevent women from
working but the idea is that this same stereotype holds today.
As a result, we have come to define women around a set of 19th century cultural stereotypes that
are almost nonexistent today yet even with boldness, dedication and need to learn being just a
few of the utmost importance in a surgeons personality we nevertheless continue to
undermine even the dominance of women who have all the desirable qualifications needed to do
the job. We cannot even guarantee a scholarly job availability to women who have continually
proved themselves worthy of such title but we can somehow make it possible for men who
cannot even achieve half of the accomplishments women have achieved.
Although women in the 21st century have progressed in professional fields, contradictory to the
1950s employment surge of females, it is but with extreme delay in STEM and surgical fields
that can be attributed only to the discrimination that prevents them from advancing.
I find that many aspects in the subject of gender inequalities in STEM fields today could be
better, particularly surgical medicine. For many social reasons, there are not enough women
pursuing high-ranking careers in this field, as there are evident pay gaps, gender discrimination,
inequalities and lack of mentorship. In terms of surgical medicine mentorship, it is the
unfortunate truth that there are indeed fewer mentors, less women surgeons pushing women to
pursue careers in surgical medicine.
Why is that? Well, I can attest to why because I myself have contacted various female
cardiothoracic surgeons who although quite prominent in their field and successful individuals,
have had nothing more than negative comments to say about my inquiries when I asked about
questions that pertained to the job. Quite honestly the impression I got was strictly from the
conversation we had as she kept depressing me with details like youre too young to know
anything now or why do you need my helpObviously I only called/emailed to learn more
about joint degrees in MD/JD fields and cardiothoracic surgery, but the fact that she was so
unreceptive to inquiries can only explain that the minute issue personality has manifested itself
into such a large problem of the latency of women in surgical fields. Although this is personal
experience, it shows that the gender inequalities of women in surgical medicine are furthered by
the fewer willing mentorship of women by women surgeons.
Not only are there inadequate mentors, but also the issue of pay gap inequality is only adding to
the cultural stereotypes of women. A study done at Yale University by a psychology postdoc
proved this stereotype in fact exists as she planned a simple test to see whether there was bias
against women applying for a job as lab manager. They formulated two identities of applicants,
John and Jennifer, both having different names but sharing the exact same copy of application
materials. Professors had to read the application and tell which applicant they would hire,
suggest starting salary and mention how much mentoring the new hire would receive.

Commented [da13]: But also contributed

Commented [da14]: which a little less verbose

Commented [da15]: Can be omitted

Commented [da16]: STEM, especially surgical fields,

Surgical falls under STEM, so qualifying stem with the
addition of surgical fields helps narrow your argument.

Commented [da17]: ?

Commented [da18]: Awkward phrasing

Commented [da19]: But also a glaring income deficit
that only adds to
Commented [da20]: performed sounds a little more
professional here
Commented [da21]: Post-doctorate researcher or
something of the sort. You do not want to add in these
colloquialisms. Assume that the reader does not know
what you are talking about

Shockingly, they were more prone to hire someone named John over someone named Jennifer
because they suggested that she was less competent. Even more scandalous was the suggested
starting salary of Jennifer, around $26,000 compared to that of John, $30,200. Remarkably
appalling was the mention that Jennifer would receive less mentoring than John. Clearly the
indication of stereotypical bias in judgment in terms of work-related aptitude is again manifested
by the latency of women in any prominent science-related field.
What can be done? How do we make this better? Naturally, we would think about some sort of
best or burn and restart or reset the system but just like Gawandes idea of mitigation was simply
about betterment in that he allowed his ideas to achieve realistic goals, we too must implement
realistic baby steps and produce viable remedies. It is true that social issues are difficult to
combat in the sense that no single person can change the way another thinks, but it is possible for
distinguished women to start pushing women to pursue distinguished positions in STEM fields
and surgical medicine. Women who have interests in surgical medicine for example need to
develop masculine-like boldness in order to be taken seriously as it is a male dominated field and
that dominance could have an unexpected impact on a female. There also needs to be more
adequate representation of the capabilities of women in that renowned women scholars and
professionals need to advocate for equal pay instead of advocate for the I struggled, you
struggled mentality. Expenditure of energy should be spent in educating the public about
historical shifts of womens roles from past to present and clarifying that women in the 21st
century can in fact develop strong characteristics and be taken seriously in a male dominated
field. Nonetheless, those who want opportunities early should be willing to find their own
connections and network with those who can effectively mentor them and teach them crucial
information that would contribute to their occupational successes.
Although the ideas mentioned above seem realistic, they are only implementable on a societal
and individual level. It truly is the social barrier has become a problem around an already
existing system that is discriminatory towards women and lack of women in male-dominated
surgical professions that contribute to the efficacy of the stereotypes existence. In essence, the
scope of mitigation seems much more complicated than simple realistic ideas as the
implementation requires large amounts of energy expenditure to raise awareness, educate,
mentor, and equalize that only willing pit crews headed by sane cowboys and cowgirls could
actually be the only implementable solution to this social problem.

Commented [da22]: If you can, try to input the actual

data from the experiment. What percentage of people
hired John or Jennifer. It solidifies your argument.
Make sure you site your sources.

Commented [da23]: This sentence runs on a little long

and is a little disjointed. Consider rephrasing or
separating into two ideas.

Commented [da24]: This conclusion makes it sound

like all of your argument is for naught. As a reader, I
interpreted this as you saying this is a great idea and all,
but its too hard to accomplish. Oh well.