Sie sind auf Seite 1von 194

PEP

Centre for Professional Communication


University of Petroleum &
Energy Studies
Centre for Professional Communication
under the aegis of UPES is an endeavor to
actively promote the need of a well
rounded personality. The Centre is driven
by values, passion and excellence and is
passionate about making the Students
industry-ready.
This Personality Enhancement Programme
(PEP), helps the Students to understand
the transition from their School to
University and also to adapt themselves to
the
new
professional
competitive
environment. PEP helps them to identify
and inculcate within themselves the
qualities of our future technocrats and
techno-managers.

Edited and Compiled by Vickram Sahai & PLL Annapurna

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Content for PEP


Sl.
No

Topic

Page
No.

Notes

1. Personal SWOT

__________________

2. Open Self Personality

10

__________________

3. Interpersonal Skills

20

__________________

4. Self Motivation

31

5. Goals

44

__________________
__________________

6. Stress Management

58

7. Time Management

72

__________________

8. Working in Teams

92

__________________

9. Leadership

102

__________________

10. Assertive Communication

116

__________________

11. Presentation Skills

132

12. Group Discussions

140

__________________
__________________

13. Personal & Office Etiquette

144

14. School to College Transition

157

__________________

15. Creative & Logical Thinking

163

__________________

16. Written Communication

174

__________________

17. Building Self-Confidence

183

__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 2

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 1
Personal SWOT

Notes

Objectives
__________________

After reading this topic you should be able to understand the


following:
1.
2.
3.
4.

__________________

What is a SWOT?
Importance of SWOT
How to do a SWOT?
When to do a SWOT?

__________________
__________________

Introduction:

__________________

SWOT analysis recognizes a structure for analysing your own


strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats you face, or in a
work context for analysing the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities
and threats a business or event faces. The technique is credited to
Albert Humphrey.

__________________
__________________
__________________

What is SWOT?
SWOT is a tool to make a planned analysis of yourself, an activity, an
organisation, a company or event as a prologue to action planning. If
you want to progress, completing a SWOT analysis is something you
should do.
In a SWOT analysis you want to note issues under the four headings.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 3

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Internal and External factors


The aim of any SWOT analysis is to identify the key internal and
external factors that are important to achieve the objective. SWOT
analysis groups key pieces of information into two main categories:

Notes

Internal factors The strengths and weaknesses internal


to the Individual.

__________________

External factors The opportunities and threats


presented by the external environment

__________________

The internal factors may be viewed as strengths or weaknesses


depending upon their impact on the individuals objectives. What may
represent strengths with respect to one objective may be weaknesses for
another objective. It may include approach, attitude, personality,
confidence,
management,
presentation
skills,
effectively
communicating, etiquette, mood, fears, beliefs etc.
The external factors may include the environment, technological
change, people around, and socio-cultural changes, money as well as
changes in the marketplace.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Strengths are internal attributes that you possess that would help you
target.

__________________

Weaknesses are internal attributes which are harmful in achieving


the objective of the target.

__________________

Opportunities are external circumstances that are helpful to you in


achieving the objective.

__________________
__________________

Threats are external circumstances that could damage the


performance of your objective.
The following questions may be helpful prompts to your thinking:

__________________
__________________

Strengths:
__________________

What qualifications have I got?


What kind of work have I done, and for how long?
What specialist knowledge have I got?
What skills do I possess?
What resources do I have?
What are the strong points of my character and personality?
Who are my influential contacts?
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 4

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Have I any strong, specific interests or beliefs, at college or


outside?
What motivates me?
Under what circumstances have I felt happiest and most
fulfilled?
Have I any other strength that I have not listed?
What is that you have different from others (for example, skills,
certifications, education, or connections)?
What things you do better than others?
What do other people see as my strengths?
What have been my achievements?
Consider this from your own perspective, and from the point of view of
the people around you. And don't be modest or shy be as objective as
you can.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

And if you have any difficulty with this, write down a list of your
personal characteristics. Some of these will hopefully be strengths!
Tip:
Think about your strengths in relation to the people around you. For
example, if you're a great mathematician and the people around you
are also great at math, then this is not likely to be strength in your
current role it may be a necessity.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Weaknesses:
What limits me?
Am I completely confident in education and skills training? If
not, where do I lack?
Do I have financial difficulties or pressures?
What are the weak points of my character and personality?
In so far as I have done, well less than I would have liked, what
has held me back?
Under what circumstances have I felt most frustrated and
unhappy?
Am I vulnerable in any way; financially, legally, physically etc?
Have I any other limitations that I have not listed?
What do I avoid?
What do the people around me see as my weaknesses?

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 5

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

What are my negative work habits (for example, being late,


being disorganized, short temper, and poor at handling stress)?
Do I have personality traits that hold me back? For instance, if
you have to present on a regular basis, a fear of public speaking
would be a major weakness.
Again, consider this from a personal/internal perspective and an
external perspective. Do other people see weaknesses that you don't
see? Do your fellow students consistently outperform you in key areas?
Be realistic it's best to face any unpleasant truth as soon as possible.

Notes
__________________
__________________

Opportunities:
__________________

Are there any suitable job vacancies available or coming up?


Are events being planned that might offer openings?
What are the strengths and weaknesses of my competitors? How
can I use them to my advantage?
Are there any gaps or niches in the marketplace I could exploit?
Are there any opportunities for consultancy?
What writing, speaking or media opportunities are open?
Are any prizes, scholarships or supports available?
Are there sponsorship opportunities?
Do changes in local conditions or gaps in service exist?
Are there inventions or ideas or new ways of working I could
put to use?

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Is your industry growing? If so, how can you take advantage of


the current market?

__________________

Do you have a network of strategic contacts to help you, or offer


good advice?

__________________

What trends (educational or otherwise) do you see around you,


and how can you take advantage of them?

__________________

Are people around you failing to do something, can you take


advantage of their mistakes?

__________________
__________________

You might find useful opportunities in the following:


Networking events, educational classes, or conferences.

__________________

A colleague going on an extended leave. Could you take on


some of this person's projects to gain experience?

__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 6

Soft Skills & Personality Development

A new role or project that forces you to learn new skills, like
public speaking or international relations.
A company expansion or acquisition. Do you have specific
skills (like a second language) that could help with the process?

Notes
Also, importantly, look at your strengths, and ask yourself whether
these open up any opportunities and look at your weaknesses,
and ask yourself whether you could open up opportunities by
eliminating those weaknesses.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Threats:
Potential financial problems.
Rivalry or opposition from others.
Changes in the marketplace.
Legal proceedings.
Physical deterioration of property or assets.
Taxation or benefit changes.
Forthcoming legislation or regulations.
Unfavourable changes in national or local economic conditions.
Inflation.
Loss of image or reputation.
Obsolescence of my skills, knowledge or products.
What obstacles do you currently face at work?
Are any of your colleagues competing with you for projects or
roles?
Is your job (or the demand for the things you do) changing?
Does changing technology threaten your position?
Could any of your weaknesses lead to threats?
Performing this analysis will often provide key information it can
point out what needs to be done and put problems into perspective

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

How to do a SWOT Analysis


__________________

First, pick your topic (e.g. your topic might be broad such as on overall
requirements (a overall SWOT Analysis or something more specific
such as a particular thing in overall requirement (e.g. a Particular
SWOT Analysis) or it could be for yourself as an individual (a
Personal SWOT Analysis).
Next you pick your objective. For example, need to buy a car in 1 year.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 7

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Now do the Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats related


to that topic or objective:
Next, ask yourself if your objective is achievable given your strengths,
weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

Notes

Is SWOT objective achievable?

__________________

If the answer is no, you have to revise your objective and do another
SWOT.

__________________

If your answer is yes, you can then move into discussing the strategies
related to your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

__________________

Specifically, youll want to ask yourself the following questions:

__________________

1. How can I control and power each one of my strengths?

__________________

2. How can I improve upon each weakness?


__________________

3. How can I benefit from each opportunity?


__________________

4. How can I minimize each threat?

__________________

Summary
__________________

Using your talents to your advantage most likely puts you in lead in the
path of success. And knowing your weaknesses and managing them in
a way that it does not affect you or your performance in personal or
work environment keeps you consistent in a league of your own. You
would realize the power of SWOT when you would uncover
opportunities which you would not otherwise have spotted. And you
would be able to eradicate threats by simply knowing and
understanding your weaknesses. It is suggested that you try to apply
this analysis in next 10 things you do and you would see the difference
yourself and would want to apply it in everything you do.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 8

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Review Questions
A. Objective questions ( Fill in the blank/ Multiple choice/ True or
False/ one line answer)-5 Questions

1. SWOT analysis recognizes a structure for analysing either your


own strengths and -------, and the opportunities and -------- you
face.
2. SWOT is a tool to make a planned analysis of yourself as a ---- to action planning.
3. The -------- factors may be viewed as strengths or weaknesses
depending upon their impact on the individuals objectives.
4. The external factors may include the -----------, technological
change, people around, and socio-cultural changes, money as
well as changes in the ------------.
5. Be ------------, it's best to face any unpleasant truth as soon as
possible.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

B. Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)


__________________

1. What do you understand by the term Personal SWOT?


2. Explain the internal and external factors which affect the
SWOT analysis.
3. State the objective of SWOT analysis.
4. Describe your long term goal briefly.
5. Mention 5 strengths and 5 weaknesses of yours.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 9

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 2
Notes

Open Self Personality


Objectives:

__________________

After reading this topic you should be able to understand the


following:

__________________

What is open self-personality?

__________________

How can you develop open self-personality?

__________________

The Importance of open self-personality

__________________

Clear understanding of the concept, Johari Window.


__________________

Introduction:
"Open self" isn't a recognized, official psychological term.
However, it probably refers to someone who has no problem being
social and communicating self-disclosure. An extroverted personality.
Someone who translates thoughts into speech and behaviour easily.

__________________
__________________
__________________

What is personality?
Personality is a pretty important word in the English language. If you
ask someone why they chose their spouse or whats the most important
quality they look for in a friend? Youll see most common of all the
things they say would be a good personality. But, what does that
mean? The truth is that meaning of a good personality is different for
everyone. Some people like quiet people, while others want to hang out
with the loudest person in the room. Some value humour, while others
praise intellect. And, of course, many people can have both intellect
and humour and these things are both part of their personalities. These
different factors, in fact, are considered to be personality traits.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 10

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The dictionary defines personality as:


1.
Habitual patterns and qualities of behaviour of any individual as
expressed by physical and mental activities and attitudes; distinctive
individual qualities of a person, considered collectively
2. The complex of qualities and characteristics seen as being
distinctive to a group, nation, place, etc.
3.
The sum of such qualities seen as being capable of making, or
likely to make, a favourable impression on other people
4.

Informal personal attractiveness; engaging manner or qualities

Traits are defined as "a distinguishing quality or characteristic, as of


personality." In other words, this means that personality traits are the
distinguishing characteristics that make you "you." Personality traits are
the unique set of characteristics and qualities that only you possess.
While a lot of people might have similar personality traits, each person
combines these traits in a different way, to create one unique,
irreplaceable conglomeration of traits that make up their individual
personality.
The Five Major Personality Traits

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Although each person has hundreds, if not thousands, of different


quirks and traits that make up their personality, psychologists have tried
to provide a bit of guidance for people to define personality traits and to
determine the most important traits. As a result, they have come up
with a list of the five major personality traits. These five traits make up
the essence of a person's personality:
1.
Openness: Openness refers to how open you are to experiencing
new things. Do you enjoy learning new ideas and concepts or are you
frightened of change?
2. Conscientiousness: Conscientiousness refers to how dedicated you
are. When you say you are going to do something do you follow
through? Do you have a strong work ethic?

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 11

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

3.
Extraversion: Extraversion asks how comfortable you are in the
company of others? Do you prefer to be by yourself or in a crowd? Do
you like to be the life of the party?
4.
Agreeableness: Do you try to get along with people or do you go
out of your way to be contentious and start a fight?

Notes
__________________

5.
Neuroticism: How emotionally stable are you? Do you get upset
over the little things, or do they roll off your back?

__________________

Johari Window

__________________

Is one of the most effective methods that can be implemented to


improve self-awareness and understanding between individuals within a
team or between different teams within organizations.

__________________
__________________

It provides a look into how we view ourselves and how others view us.
It is also a model for opening up the lines of communication with
others. It serves to show how we become increasingly more open to
others as we get to know them and share information about ourselves.

__________________
__________________

Developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham (the word Johari comes
from Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham), there are two key ideas behind
the tool:
1. That individuals can build trust between themselves by
disclosing information about themselves; and

__________________
__________________
__________________

2. That they can learn about themselves and come to terms with
personal issues with the help of feedback from others.
By understanding the Johari Window, you can help yourself and people
around to understand the value of self-disclosure, and gently encourage
people to give and accept feedback. Done sensitively, this can help
people build more-trusting relationships with one another, solve issues
and work more effectively as a team.
The Johari Window model is a simple and useful tool for illustrating
and improving self-awareness, and mutual understanding between
individuals within a group. The Johari Window model can also be used
to assess and improve a group's relationship with other groups. Today
the Johari Window model is especially relevant due to modern

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 12

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

emphasis on, and influence of, 'soft' skills, behaviour, empathy,


cooperation, inter-group development and interpersonal development.
Lets understand the model:

Notes

The Johari Window model consists of a four square grid as shown in


the diagram below,
These windowpanes represent our personality. Lets take a look at each
windowpane and see if it makes sense.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Using the Johari model, each person is represented by their own fourquadrant, or four-pane, window. Each of these contains and represents
personal information feelings, motivation, etc. about the person, and
shows whether the information is known or not known by themselves
or other people.
1. What is known by the person about him/herself and is also known
by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena'
2.
What is unknown by the person about him/herself but which
others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blind spot'

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

3. What the person knows about him/herself that others do not know
- hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade'
4.
What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also
unknown by others - unknown area or unknown self.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 13

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Quadrant 1: Open Area


It is also known as the area of free activity. This is the information
about the person behaviour, attitude, feelings, emotion, knowledge,
experience, skills, views, etc known by the person (the self) and
known by the group (others).
The aim in any group should always be to develop the open area for
every person, because when we work in this area with others we are at
our most effective and productive and the group is at its most
productive too. The open free area, or the arena, can be seen as the
space where good communications and cooperation occur, free from
distractions, mistrust, confusion, conflict and misunderstanding.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Leaders have a big responsibility to promote a culture and expectation


for open, honest, positive, helpful, constructive, sensitive
communications, and the sharing of knowledge throughout their
organization.

__________________

Top performing groups, departments, companies and organizations


always tend to have a culture of open positive communication, so
encouraging the positive development of the open area or open self
for everyone is a simple yet fundamental aspect of effective leadership.

__________________

__________________

__________________
__________________

Quadrant 2: Blind Area (Feedback)


What is unknown by the person about himself/herself but which others
know. This can be about simple information, or can involve deep issues
(for example, irritating habits, feelings of inadequacy, incompetence,
unworthiness, rejection) which are difficult for individuals to face
directly, and yet can be seen by others. This blind area is not an
effective or productive space for individuals or groups. This blind area
could also be referred to as ignorance about oneself, or issues in which
one is deluded. A blind area could also include issues that others are
deliberately withholding from a person.
Commonly these are also known as the Blind Spot; when driving, blind
spots are inevitable. Only when the driver look over his/her shoulders,
the content in the blind spots can be seen. Likewise, with peer-to-peer
feedback we can find out the strength and weakness of each other in
terms of skills, knowledge and attitude.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 14

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

But again, feedback is not something that can be dished out in a clinical
way. The first requirement for feedback to be accepted by the
individual and to be worked on, is an environment of trust. Some
people are more resilient than others care needs to be taken to avoid
causing emotional upset. Hence issues on which feedback is sought
should always be at the individuals discretion.
Very often in team sessions, this is facilitated by the leader going in
first and asking the group for frank and free feedback. Such sessions are
always best facilitated by an external facilitator, due to the neutrality
they bring in. A few simple rituals like the individual asking for
specific feedback and then thanking every individual individually for
the feedback, often helps in creating an environment conducive to open
sharing.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Quadrant 3: Hidden or Avoided Area (Disclosure)


Things one is aware of oneself, however not known to others. The
hidden area could also include sensitivities, fears, hidden agendas,
manipulative intentions, secrets anything that a person knows but
does not reveal, for whatever reason. Its natural for very personal and
private information and feelings to remain hidden, indeed, certain
information, feelings and experiences have no bearing on work, and so
can and should remain hidden. By my reckoning, typically, a lot of
hidden information is not very personal and so is better positioned in
the open area.
By getting to know a person better, more exchanges of information will
take place. You may discover about A new habits of a colleague, his
likings in movies, food, etc. You may also discover talents that you
never knew existed or you may suddenly understand why a person
behaves the way he does in office or in person, due to the background
he comes from. By telling others how we feel and other information
about ourselves we reduce the hidden area, and increase the open area,
which enables better understanding, cooperation, trust, team-working
effectiveness and productivity. Reducing hidden areas also reduces the
potential for confusion, misunderstanding, poor communication, etc,
which all distract and undermine team effectiveness.
In one of the sessions we did, a person shared about the sudden &
recent loss of a spouse and the challenges that he was undergoing in
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 15

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

bringing up two small children. The man was otherwise known to be


very irritable & short tempered in office. A wave of understanding
passed through the group when he made this disclosure.

Notes

Quadrant 4: Unknown Area (Potential for Discovery)


This quadrant contains information, feelings, latent abilities, aptitudes,
experiences etc. that are unknown to the person him/herself and
unknown to others in the group. These unknown issues take a variety
of forms: they can be feelings, behaviours, attitudes, capabilities,
aptitudes, which can be quite close to the surface, and which can be
positive and useful, or they can be deeper aspects of a persons
personality, influencing his/her behaviour to various degrees. Large
unknown areas would typically be expected in younger people, and
people who lack experience or self-belief.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Very often, we surprise ourselves by the limits of our powers and


abilities. We do not know what we are capable of until we are put in
circumstances that draw out the very best in us or when we get the
opportunity to demonstrate.

__________________

The processes by which this information and knowledge can be


uncovered are various, and can be prompted through self-discovery or
observation by others, or in certain situations through collective or
mutual discovery, of the sort of discovery experienced on outward
bound courses or other deep or intensive group work.

__________________

Again as with disclosure and soliciting feedback, the process of selfdiscovery is a sensitive one. The extent and depth to which an
individual is able to seek out discover their unknown feelings must
always be at the individuals own discretion.
Uncovering hidden talents that is unknown aptitudes and skills, not
to be confused with developing the Johari hidden area is another
aspect of developing the unknown area, and is not so sensitive as
unknown feelings. Providing people with the opportunity to try new
things, with no great pressure to succeed, is often a useful way to
discover unknown abilities, and thereby reduce the unknown area.
Managers and leaders can help by creating an environment that
encourages self-discovery, and to promote the processes of selfPEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 16

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

discovery, constructive observation and feedback among team


members. It is a widely accepted fact that the majority of staff in any
organization are at any time working well within their potential.
Creating a culture, climate and expectation for self-discovery helps
people to fulfil more of their potential thereby to achieve more &
contribute more to organizational performance.

Notes

A Johari window consists of the following 56 adjectives used as


possible descriptions of the participant. In alphabetical order they
are:

__________________

Able

Accepting

Adaptable

__________________

Bold

Brave

Calm

__________________

__________________

Caring

Cheerful

Clever

Complex

Confident

Dependable

Dignified

Energetic

Extroverted

Friendly

Giving

Happy

Helpful

Idealistic

Independent

Ingenious

Intelligent

Introverted

Kind

Knowledgeable

Logical

__________________

Loving

Mature

Modest

__________________

Nervous

Observant

Organized

Patient

Powerful

Proud

Quiet

Reflective

Relaxed

Religious

Responsive

Searching

__________________

Self-assertive

Self-conscious

Sensible

__________________

Sentimental

Shy

Silly

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

__________________

Smart

Spontaneous

Sympathetic

Tense

Trustworthy

Warm

Wise

Witty

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 17

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Self-Awareness
Self-Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality,
including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and
emotions. Self-Awareness allows you to understand other people, how
they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the
moment.

Notes
__________________

As you develop self-awareness you are able to make changes in the


thoughts and interpretations you make in your mind. Changing the
interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions. Selfawareness is one of the attributes of Emotional Intelligence and an
important factor in achieving success.

__________________
__________________

Self-awareness is the first step in creating what you want and mastering
it. Where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions,
personality and behaviour determine where you go in life.

__________________

Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and


emotions are taking you. It also allows you to see the controls of your
emotions, behaviour, and personality so you can make changes you
want. Until you are aware in the moment of the controls to your
thoughts, emotions, words, and behaviour, you will have difficulty
making changes in the direction of your life.

__________________

Summary

__________________

The importance of learning more about ourselves is critical to our


success in the world. It is also critical to reaching our goals, becoming
independent, and building a bridge for the future. We need to become
more open, confident, and comfortable with who we are and with
people around. We need to build our self-esteem because we have a lot
to give to the world and our families. Everyone is not out to get us, and
in fact they may have good feedback for us if we are open to it.

__________________

Life is about learning and growing. Aha! Lifelong learning.

__________________

__________________

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 18

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Review Questions
Objective questions ( Fill in the blank/ Multiple choice/ True or False/
one line answer)-5 Questions
1. Johari window model was devised by American psychologists

2. .. are defined as "a distinguishing quality or characteristic, as


of personality."

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

3. The Five Major Personality Traits are


4. That they can learn about themselves and come to terms with
personal issues with the help of . from ..

__________________
__________________

5. Self-Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality,


including ., , thoughts, .., motivation, and
.

__________________
__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)


1. What do you understand by personality?

__________________

2.
How Johari window is useful for improving self-awareness, and
mutual understanding between individuals within a group?

__________________
__________________

3.

What do you understand by OCEAN model?

4.

What do you understand by self-awareness?

__________________

5.

What do you understand by Extraversion personality trait?

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 19

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 3
Interpersonal Skills

Notes

Objectives

__________________

After reading this topic you should be able to understand the


following:

__________________
__________________

How to improve interpersonal skill


Discussion about transactional analysis
Importance of listening skills
Significance of Positive ego

__________________
__________________

INTRODUCTION
__________________

Simply put interpersonal skills are the skills we use to interact or deal
with others. Interpersonal Skill are sometimes also referred to as
communication skills, people skills and/or soft skills. How we deal
with others can greatly influence our professional and personal lives,
improving these skills builds confidence and enhances our relationships
with others. We all have interpersonal skills. We've been learning
them, usually subconsciously, since birth. We learn how people are
likely to react to what we say and do. How these actions are likely to
make them, and us, feel. People with good interpersonal skills have
learnt to identify which are the best ways of interacting with others in
different situations. Interpersonal skills are easily developed, a little
time and effort spent working and practicing your interpersonal skills
will pay huge rewards in your professional and personal lives.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

What are interpersonal skills?

__________________

Interpersonal skills are the capacity to understand and manage the


feelings, actions, and motivations of one's own and also of others in
social settings. In other words, it is the ability to interact effectively
with others. Interpersonal skills are an essential quality to succeed in
modern organizations. This skill is critical in the various interactions.
This skill can be used to motivate others and control various situations.
Communication skill is an important component of interpersonal skill.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 20

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The characteristics of the individual and also the situational factors play
an important role in interpersonal behaviour. Interpersonal skills can be
developed through constant practice. Two factors are of prime
importance in developing one's own interpersonal skills developing
skills to improve one to one interaction and developing the skills to
understand the behaviour of others.

Notes
__________________

Transactional Analysis is one important technique used for developing


interpersonal skills. This is a part of organizational training in many
organizations
around
the
world.
The important ideas in transactional analysis are the ego states (Parent,
Adult, and Child), the type of transactions (complementary, crossed,
and ulterior transactions), Games, Strokes, etc. A basic understanding
of these ideas is required to use the concept of transactional analysis for
improving interpersonal skills. Transactional Analysis helps to
understand communication better and thereby improve the interpersonal
skills
of
people.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

It is also a powerful tool in organizational training. An understanding of


Transactional Analysis helps people to modify their own behavior in
order to obtain the required behavior from others. Transactional
Analysis helps people to develop leadership qualities. With the aid of
Transactional analysis, it is possible to know the ego state from which
people operate, and this recognition can help them to adapt their
leadership style to suit the situation. It is also possible to identify the
ego state of subordinates and an appropriate stimulus can be provided
to get better response from them.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

What roles do you play in your day-to-day life?


We are obliged to play multiple roles every day. Our attitudes vary
more of less consciously depending on the situation and the people we
encounter. This is how we express our personality.
According to the theory of Transactional Analysis, we can alternately
play the characters of "Parent", "Adult" and "Child" and, according to
the logic of each of these roles, we may be in a position of domination,
exchange or submissiveness, and we may freely express our feelings or
alternatively hold them back... Life can be compared to a theatre where
we wear various masks depending on the circumstances, but where we
always follow a well-established script.
Understanding these communication games, these "transactions"
between two or more people, deciphering them and analysing our
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 21

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

behaviour, our words and our feelings can enable us to avoid becoming
prisoners of a type of reaction and constantly replaying the same scene
and the same role in a film which does not necessarily correspond to the
deeper reality of our situation.

Notes
To know ourselves better and to know how others feel about us can
prevent us from falling into traps, from reproducing the same errors too
frequently and from reliving the same situations in our relationships
with others whether it be as a couple, as a family, or in the professional
context.

__________________
__________________
__________________

The Transactional Analysis approach has been used for selfdevelopment for more than forty years, as well as for skill assessment
and group dynamics.
Try these 10 helpful tips for improving your interpersonal skills:
1. Smile. Few people want to be around someone who is always
down in the dumps. Do your best to be friendly and upbeat with
your co-workers. Maintain a positive, cheerful attitude about
work and about life. Smile often. The positive energy you
radiate will draw others to you.
2. Be appreciative. Find one positive thing about everyone you
work with and let them hear it. Be generous with praise and
kind words of encouragement. Say thank you when someone
helps you. Make colleagues feel welcome when they call or stop
by your office. If you let others know that they are appreciated,
theyll want to give you their best.
3. Pay attention to others. Observe whats going on in other
peoples lives. Acknowledge their happy milestones, and
express concern and sympathy for difficult situations such as an
illness or death. Make eye contact and address people by their
first names. Ask others for their opinions.
4. Practice active listening. To actively listen is to demonstrate
that you intend to hear and understand anothers point of view.
It means restating, in your own words, what the other person has
said. In this way, you know that you understood their meaning
and they know that your responses are more than lip service.
Your co-workers will appreciate knowing that you really do
listen to what they have to say.
5. Bring people together. Create an environment that encourages
others to work together. Treat everyone equally, and don't play

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 22

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

favourites. Avoid talking about others behind their backs.


Follow up on other people's suggestions or requests. When you
make a statement or announcement, check to see that you have
been understood. If folks see you as someone solid and fair,
they will grow to trust you.
6. Resolve conflicts. Take a step beyond simply bringing
people together, and become someone who resolves conflicts
when they arise. Learn how to be an effective mediator. If
co-workers argue over personal or professional
disagreements, arrange to sit down with both parties and help
sort out their differences. By taking on such a leadership role,
you will garner respect and admiration from those around
you.
7. Communicate clearly. Pay close attention to both what you say
and how you say it. A clear and effective communicator avoids
misunderstandings with co-workers, colleagues, and associates.
Verbal eloquence projects an image of intelligence and
maturity, no matter what your age. If you tend to blurt out
anything that comes to mind, people wont put much weight on
your words or opinions.
8. Humour them. Dont be afraid to be funny or clever. Most
people are drawn to a person that can make them laugh. Use
your sense of humour as an effective tool to lower barriers and
gain peoples affection.
9. See it from their side. Empathy means being able to put
yourself in someone elses shoes and understand how they feel.
Try to view situations and responses from another persons
perspective. This can be accomplished through staying in touch
with your own emotions; those who are cut off from their own
feelings are often unable to empathize with others.
10. Don't complain. There is nothing worse than a chronic
complainer or whiner. If you simply have to vent about
something, save it for your diary. If you must verbalize your
grievances, vent to your personal friends and family, and keep it
short. Spare those around you, or else youll get a bad
reputation.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

POSITIVE EGO
__________________

A popular catch phrase today is "check your ego at the door."


Actually you really don't want to do that. Sometimes the only thing you
have that holds you all together is your ego. What you do want to leave
behind though, are the more subtle negative behaviours of your ego that
interfere with good interpersonal relations-especially effective

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 23

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

communication. These are the things that keep you from going from
good to great in learning how to be successful.
Personal growth is a process of finding out what good habits to
cultivate and what bad ones to eliminate. Knowing what bad habits to
get rid of is only the beginning. You have to figure out how to do this.
Fortunately the mechanism is already in place. If you are motivated to
learn and grow, you will gradually become more aware of your bad
habits, as they happen. The more you witness these things happening,
the more uncomfortable you become and the more you will think about
why you don't really want to do these things. You eventually learn to
replace them with something more positive.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

There are seven positive behaviours of your ego that you want to
cultivate and there are seven counter-parts you want to eliminate. These
things all work together and the end result is the Golden Rule in action.

__________________
__________________

REVERENCE VS. RUDENESS


The truth of the matter is that we are all guests on this planet and we
have an obligation to respect everything-especially our fellow human
beings. Research reveals that the majority of people say politeness
helps produce a perception of likability, which paves the way for
positive influence. Unfortunately, national research reveals that
politeness is on the decline. What a paradox.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

The lesson is, if you want to be noticed and have a positive influence on
others, be reverent and polite. On the other hand, rudeness is at the top
of the list of what influences a perception of un-likability, which results
in unfavourable outcomes with people. The choice should be easy.

__________________
__________________

EQUALITY VS. SUPERIORITY


We are all born equal, but somewhere along the line we get the notion
that our achievements somehow make us superior. If you have worked
hard to be successful you have a right to feel superior. But this feeling
is something you have to keep to yourself, because other people aren't
really interested in your achievements-especially if theirs are on the
light side and they are feeling inferior.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 24

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

When you make a concerted effort to communicate equality with


others, they are more likely to listen to you; when the subtle hints of
your superiority leak out in your talk and actions, people's ears turn
elsewhere. Cultivate equality and eliminate superiority.
FREEDOM VS. CONTROL

Notes
__________________

We humans all have a common characteristic: We are natural rebels


about being controlled. That is a condition we will fight against with
our last breath. Hence any talk or behaviour that insinuates forceful
control will always be met with rebellion. One powerful ego is never
quite adequate enough to dominate even the weakest one.
If you are in a position of being in control, this becomes somewhat
tricky. You have to look for other ways to influence people in the
direction you want them to move, other than by using the authority you
have been given. And if you are in the undesirable position of having to
impose a negative sanction, you may have to get creative and give a
few options that allow for some perceived freedom.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

ACCEPTANCE VS. JUDGEMENT

__________________

Most of us are already our own worst critics and the last thing we need
is someone else piling on the bad news with more judgments against us.
When we perceive that we are being judged negatively, it makes us feel
misunderstood and even inferior. These sorts of feelings tend to make
us retreat into a defensive posture-with a mixture of hurt and angerwhere communication normally shuts down.

__________________

Another reason to try and eliminate your habit of judging others is that
your judgments aren't always correct and they often turn out to be premature once you get all the facts. Suspending your judgment and taking
the time to find out exactly why somebody is doing something that
might not meet with your approval can be enlightening.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

TENTATIVENESS VS. CERTAINITY


What do any of us really know with 100% certainty? Maybe a few
useless details and a few useful principles. Most of life is tentative and
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 25

Soft Skills & Personality Development

evolving. Although some of us seem to want the certainty that provides


security, we know that it is only temporary.
Sometimes the brain deceives us by its drive to simplify. Critical
thinking teaches us that things are rarely a clear yes or no, at least not
without some qualifications

Notes
__________________

The only thing certain today is change and anyone who professes
differently will be met with scepticism and even rejection. In the
interest of learning and growing, you should be concerned about
disproving your questionable beliefs, rather than gathering supportive
evidence to perpetuate the artificial certainty of false ones.

__________________
__________________
__________________

INCLUSION VS. EXCLUSION


__________________

A strong human need is to be included. When someone else excludes us


or rejects even part of our ideas, it doesn't make us feel good. Someone
once said to me, "dismiss only that which offends your soul." You can
go from good to great by looking for ways to include everything and
anything that doesn't offend your soul.
Everyone has a piece of the puzzle to contribute, and we can all benefit
greatly by looking for ways to include what others think and feel. An
attitude of inclusion incorporates many of these other positive ego
behaviours and can be a very powerful influence with others. At the
very least you will be increasing useful knowledge.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

EMPATHY VS. INSENSITIVITY

__________________

The more you do these other six behaviours, the more your power of
empathy grows. Empathy allows you to understand other people's
thoughts, feelings and perspectives and when you begin to
communicate that understanding, you are making a friend for life. Such
friendships encourage continued growth and lead to success.

__________________

By practicing these positive halves of your ego and eliminating their


negative counter-parts, you will increase your positive influence with
others and be more successful.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 26

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

LISTENING-SKILLS
Interpersonal communication is a three-stage process. Success depends
on how clearly and in what way you speak or write your message, how
it is received and whether or not it is understood. Listening is a key
aspect of the process, as it provides direct access to the other person's
responses, allows you to understand his concerns and priorities and
gives cues as to how you might best continue to communicate.

__________________
__________________

Listen Actively
Listening is more than just pausing to let the other person speak. It
involves you being fully present and giving the speaker your undivided
attention. It also requires ongoing reflection so that you can appreciate
the full meaning of what the person who is speaking is trying to say.
This type of fully engaged, self-aware listening is known as "active
listening" because you are actively seeking to interpret and fully
understand the speaker's perspective.
Concentrate Fully

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

An important part of active listening is concentration. This means


putting everything else out of your mind, looking directly at the person
speaking and refusing to be distracted by any other noise or movement.
Avoid thinking about what you will say next or about anything outside
the immediate conversation. Don't interrupt but signal to the person
talking that you are listening by making appropriate sounds or
movements such as nodding or saying "yes."

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Avoid Prejudgment
Jumping to conclusions, overriding what a person is trying to say with
your own views or stopping a person before she has finished speaking
are all counterproductive and detrimental actions. Even when the topic
under discussion is something about which you have strong convictions
and feelings, allow the other person to finish speaking and listen
carefully to her views before you respond. You may be surprised to find
your own views alter in the interim.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 27

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Summarize and Reflect


Summarize in your own mind what the person is saying as you are
listening. Refer back to him what you think he has said--for example,
"If I've understood you correctly, you're concerned about...." This will
give him the reassurance that you have been listening fully and provide
a further opportunity to elaborate on or correct the information you
have so far received.
Build the Habit

Notes
__________________
__________________

Being a good listener is a skill that can be learned, like any other. At
first it may involve a conscious change in behavior in order to
concentrate more fully and not interrupt. It may also feel strange at first
to deliberately reflect back to a person what you think he is saying.
Replacing the habit of being a poor or careless listener with good
listening habits may take time but it can be achieved.
Appreciate the Benefits

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Being known as a good listener will enhance your professional and


personal reputation. It will enable you to appreciate other people's
perspectives, understand their viewpoints, empathize with their
situation and enjoy their unique contributions. The amount you may
learn from listening fully and openly to others cannot be
underestimated.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

SUMMARY
Interpersonal Skills is the transmission of information from one person
to another and their understanding of it through the use of common
language or symbols. It is a way of interacting and happens all times
whether you want it to happen or not. However, just because you
transmit a message, it does not mean that communication happened.
Without both information and understanding on the part of the other
person, communication (understanding of your message) does not
occur. The efficiency at which you communicate will determine the
level of happiness and success in your life. Most people do not think
about or realize how they are communicating to others. It is affected by
your gait, body language, attitude, perceptions, understanding the
process and understanding the needs of ourselves and others.
Having positive interpersonal skills increases the productivity in the
organization since the number of conflicts is reduced. In informal
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 28

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

situations, it allows communication to be easy and comfortable. People


with good interpersonal skills can generally control the feelings that
emerge in difficult situations and respond appropriately, instead of
being overwhelmed by emotion.

Notes

REVIEW QUESTIONS

__________________

Objective Questions

__________________

Q1. An important part of active listening is___________.

__________________

Q2. ________ means being able to put yourself in someone elses shoes
and understand how they feel.
a. Sympathy
b. Empathy
c. Both a and b

__________________

Q3. Various types of transactions are:


a. complementary
b. crossed
c. ulterior
d. All of the above

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Q4. The only thing you have that holds you all together is your
a. Ego
b. Emotions
c. Power
d. Feelings
Q5. This skill is critical in the various interactions.
a. Communication skill
b. Interpersonal skill
c. Soft skill
d. Technical skill

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 29

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Subjective Questions
Q1. Tell us about a time when your friend strongly disagreed with your
views, ideas, or way of working? What kind of relationship can you
develop with such a person?
Q2. What, in your view makes a person likeable?
Q3. Do you think it is worthwhile to establish new relationships? What
are the consequences of building new relationships in your professional
and personal life?
Q4. Describe how you would endeavour to convince your father to
grant you additional funds for a purpose you have-in-mind?
Q5. Give an example of when you had to present complex information
in a simplified manner in order to explain it to others.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 30

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 4
Notes

SELF-MOTIVATION
OBJECTIVE

Understanding of the role of motivation in learning

Describe the fundamentals of the Self-Motivation

__________________
__________________
__________________

Explain the implications of losing confidence

Apply guidelines to enhance self-motivation

__________________

INTRODUCTION

__________________

Many of us find ourselves in motivational slumps that we have to work


to get out of. Sometimes its like a continuous cycle where we are
motivated for a period of time, fall out and then have to build things
back up again. We eat to provide energy to our body and allow it to do
certain tasks in a day, in the same way we need to feed the mind to do
certain tasks in a day. If we dont eat one day the performance levels
will drop, if we dont eat for a week we will fall sick and this can lead
to other problems. So every day we eat food to provide the body the
energy it needs to survive. In the same way we need to feed the mind
every day to provide it fuel to perform efficiently because if we miss a
day we will experience a drop in efficiency levels and if we miss a
week we might fall sick mentally. Keeping yourself motivated seems
like a tall order but you dont need to make a 5 year plan, just plan for a
day and keep it simple.

__________________

HOW TO REMAIN SELF MOTIVATED?

__________________

A common attribute of the most successful people is their ability to


motivate themselves. It may seem that the Bill Gates and Donald
Trumps of the world were just simply born driven, but everyone, has
challenges that they must overcome in order to stay motivated. While
this may come easier for some than others, anyone can train themselves
to be self-motivated. As with everything in life, after some practice
self-motivation will be second nature to you.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 31

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Here

are

the

various

ways

to

become

self-motivated.

1. Have a Goal
You need something to be motivated about. Setting goals gives you a
starting point. You may have a master plan, but there are likely several
smaller obstacles in the way of attaining your bigger dream. Set goals
to slowly, but surely conquer these obstacles. Getting through one goal
after another will ultimately help you achieve your primary goal.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

2. Remain Eager - Embrace Your Struggles


Necessity is the mother of invention. Your times of need offer the best
opportunity for growth. Your struggles and the obstacles in front of you
should be used as motivation. Instead of wishing your problems away,
take steps to resolve them. Overcoming any obstacle, big or small is the
training ground for the essential fiber you need for self-motivation.
Knowing that you have the ability to conquer will give you the
confidence you need to become and remain self-motivated.
3. Plan for Your Success

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Make plans to achieve the goals you've set out for yourself. You have
to make plans in order to stay motivated. Plans give you a marker to
gauge how close you are to your goals and help you see how far you've
come. Having plans also helps you track your progress.
4. Set Priorities

__________________
__________________
__________________

Life is filled with distractions, and they will only increase when you
have goals. Set your priorities early so that you're not caught off guards.
Having your priorities in order will determine what you spend your
time on. Knowing what your priorities are will also help you avoid
being
pulled
in
different
directions.

__________________
__________________
__________________

5.
Dont
Complain
Without
Offering
a
Solution
Everybody needs to vent from time to time, but don't pass off avid
complaining for occasional venting. Complaining without solution
makes you feel defeated. If you do not have a resolution for an issue,
complaining about it will only create a self-defeating prophecy.
Constantly telling your sub-conscious mind that things are so bad is
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 32

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

counter-productive, when you could be telling yourself that you will


overcome obstacles, instead. Complaining has no positive outcome,
unless
you
also
prove
a
solution.

Notes
6. Visualize Yourself Succeeding
__________________

There is no better motivation than being able to see yourself at the place
you want to be. Even if you don't know exactly how you will achieve
your goals yet, visualizing yourself there will keep you focused and
motivated.
7. Believe in Yourself

__________________
__________________
__________________

You have to be confident in yourself in order to stay motivated. The


belief and knowledge that you can and will succeed shuts the door to all
doubt, which kills motivation.
Self-motivation is not necessarily something you are born with. You
can cultivate this characteristic if you practice.

__________________
__________________
__________________

LEARN TO KEEP YOURSELF MOTIVATED


__________________

If you are not satisfied with the results you are getting and are
wondering how to keep yourself motivated, you have already taken the
first step. It is important that you identify and accept your shortcomings
only then would you enable yourself to change them. However, the first
step is the beginning of a journey you need to keep on doing a few
things to get to your goals.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Plan Your Day


__________________

Anyone who is successful will tell you the importance of planning, just
remember you have to plan for a day. One of the things that works is to
get up in the morning and spend 10-15 minutes planning your day, keep
in mind that this is a flexible plan and susceptible to change. However,
try and follow the plan, it can be something as simple as scheduling
your day.
Stick to Winners
An old adage birds of a feather flock together is true so make sure you
stick to people who are achievers, they do not necessarily have to be
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 33

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

rich they should be people with ethics and a good work code. For
example, find a colleague at work that comes and completes the
allocated tasks on time, stick with them and try to understand how they
do it. There is nothing better than a live example of motivation.
Abide by Moral Laws

Notes
__________________

Evils of the mind like gossiping, lying and justifying your actions are
some of the biggest obstacles to achieving success. So formulate a
moral code of conduct just for a day when you get up every day. For
example make a list of things that you would not do for the day, like
decide you wont gossip, lie, day dream, make hurtful comments, make
fun of others, etc. These negative emotions will drain your energy and
stop you from doing the work at hand.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Focus on Yourself
We spend a lot of energy focusing on what others do and how others
are ill treating us but neglect to play our part. If we refocus that energy
on ourselves we will be better off. A simple way to do this is to take a
daily inventory at the end of the day. Just make two columns, list all the
good things you did today in the first column and list all the things that
you shouldnt have done in the second column. Now each day
endeavours to make the list in your first column bigger than the list in
your second column, this will help you motivate yourself.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Learn to Forgive
__________________

One of the things that weighs us down is guilt, it occupies a lot of space
in our mind without paying any rent, so get rid of it immediately. If you
were not able to do a certain task dont wallow in self-pity, it has no
output, instead get back to work. Remember each moment is a new
moment. Forgiving ourselves is a very important self-care technique
because it allows healing and provides energy to carry on. For example
you work in a marketing firm and werent able to achieve todays
target, dont beat yourself up or curse others, just forgive yourself,
remember no one can change the moment that has passed.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 34

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Help Others
The mind works best on positive emotions, so try and help others, it can
be something as simple as offering your seat to someone else on the
subway. A simple act of extending your help to others will instantly
increase your energy levels. Laws of nature dictate that if you do a
good deed it will be rewarded immediately. This doesnt mean that
when you offer your seat on the subway you get a promotion when you
reach office. It simply means that when you help someone you will get
extra energy to help yourself.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Here is a list that is a little more generic:


1. Start simple. Keep motivators around your work area things that
give you that initial spark to get going.
2. Keep good company. Make more regular encounters with positive
and motivated people. This could be as simple as IM chats with peers
or a quick discussion with a friend who likes sharing ideas.
3. Keep learning. Read and try to take in everything you can. The
more you learn, the more confident you become in starting projects.
4. Stay Positive. See the good in bad. When encountering obstacles,
you want to be in the habit of finding what works to get over them.
5. Stop thinking. Just do. If you find motivation for a particular project
lacking, try getting started on something else. Something trivial even,
then youll develop the momentum to begin the more important stuff.
6. Know yourself. Keep notes on when your motivation sucks and
when you feel like a superstar. There will be a pattern that, once you
are aware of, you can work around and develop.
7. Track your progress. Keep a tally or a progress bar for on-going
projects. When you see something growing you will always want to
nurture it.
8. Help others. Share your ideas and help friends get motivated. Seeing
others do well will motivate you to do the same. Write about your
success and get feedback from readers.
What I would hope happens here is you will gradually develop certain
skills that become motivational habits.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 35

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Once you get to the stage where you are regularly helping others keep
motivated be it with a blog or talking with peers youll find the
cycle continuing where each facet of staying motivated is refined and
developed

Notes
SELF MOTIVATION TECHNIQUES
Understanding these basic self-motivation techniques can increase your
motivation and help to keep it going over the long term. Take the time
to understand and apply these techniques as you work towards your
goals.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Clarify What You Want

__________________

One of the most important motivation techniques you can apply is to


clarify what it is you want, and why you want it. If you don't really
know what outcome you are going for, or why you should go for it, it is
really hard to maintain a high level of self-motivation.

__________________

Setting

goals

is

an

ideal

way

to

start

this

process.

Sometimes when you don't have motivation to take action, it is because


you don't have a clear picture of why you should be doing it or what the
end result should be.
Think deeply about the final outcome you want, and outline what steps
it will take for you to get there.
Once you can picture what success will look like, why you want it, and
the steps along the way, your motivation will be stronger to start taking
action to get there.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Think Long Term

__________________

Sometimes a goal just seems too overwhelming or painful to start, and


you may have low motivation due to the immediate pain, discomfort, or
stress
that
would
be
involved
in
starting.

__________________

Rather than focusing on the immediate difficulty involved, take a


moment to consider the long term consequences of acting on it, or
putting it off. If you procrastinate on starting the goal now, will it get
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 36

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

even harder to start later? If you act now, can you keep a potential
problem
from
getting
worse?
On the positive side, how will you feel once you finish? What benefits
will you gain from acting now? How will this impact your ability to do
other things? Looking at long term consequences can be a powerful
motivation technique to increase your self-motivation. Put the short
term discomfort or difficulty in perspective by thinking about the long
term effect of getting your goal accomplished.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Celebrate the Small Victories


In working towards a goal, pay attention to the small victories you can
achieve along the way. Think about the milestones that you can
celebrate. Examples could include the first dollar you make when
starting your business, the first five pounds you lose on a diet, or the
first
chapter
of
your
novel.

__________________

These milestones may be just one small step toward your larger goal,
and you may still have a long way to go, but they are the evidence that
you are progressing. Celebrating these small victories can renew your
motivation as move towards the end result, and provide positive
feedback
and
reinforcement
for
your
behaviour.

__________________

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

Actively look for these milestones that mark your progress, and take the
time to celebrate those victories.

__________________

Readjust Strategy

__________________

You may have set a great goal, but in trying to reach it you might feel
like you keep hitting a wall. When your repeated attempts to move
forward don't work, your motivation to keep going can start to lag.

__________________

A very useful motivation technique that can keep you going is to


readjust your strategy. Consider alternate efforts that may help get you
where you want to go. Think about other approaches you might be able
to take. Look for examples of people who have succeeded with a
similar goal, and see what they did to accomplish it.
There is usually more than one way to achieve a goal, and trying other
strategies can give you a boost to maintain yourself motivation.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 37

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Evaluate Outcomes
As you start making progress towards your goal, periodically evaluate
the outcome you are trying to reach. Sometimes you may go after what
you want, but as you near the goal you may find that it no longer as
important
as
you
initially
thought.

Notes
__________________

You may realize that you really don't want or need that outcome. Take
the time to evaluate the goals you are striving for, and determine

__________________

whether they still merit your continued efforts.

__________________

If your motivation is lagging, it may be a sign that your goal is not top
priority for you anymore. Maybe there is a different outcome or goal
that is really more important, and if so, changes your focus. It's possible
to outgrow your initial ideas about what you want- don't be afraid to reevaluate your priorities and shift your efforts.

__________________

The use of these self-motivation techniques can greatly aid you as you
work towards your goals. Pay attention whenever your motivation starts
to get low, and then consider if one of more these motivation
techniques can help to keep you going.

__________________

These five essential self-motivation skills can really help you to boost
your motivation and keep it going in the long term.

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

REASONS WE LOSE MOTIVATION


__________________

There are 3 primary reasons we lose motivation.


1. Lack of confidence If you dont believe you can succeed,
whats the point in trying?
2. Lack of focus If you dont know what you want, do you
really want anything?

__________________
__________________
__________________

3. Lack of direction If you dont know what to do, how can you
be motivated to do it?

__________________

Role of Dreams in Self-Motivation


Self-motivation and motivation in general is all about dreams. Dreams
are the foundation to permanent and everlasting motivation.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 38

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Self-motivation starts with a dream. It is a desire to be, to do or to have


something. However, it doesnt stop there. It requires a plan and then,
the need to take action. Those actions need to be monitored and
measured for lasting motivation.
Self-motivation is an internal and not an external process. Most
organizations do not know how to motivate people. They use external
influences as motivators. This external motivation is temporary it is
never lasting. As soon as you get a carrot, you want a bigger one the
next time round.
Nobody but you can motivate you. All others can do is create an
environment in which people motivate themselves. To do that requires
engagement strategies, trust and empowerment for the employee.
If organizations took the time to discover the internal dreams of their
employees, and put plans in place to help employees realize their
dreams, they would capture the art of motivation.
But lets not wait for others to do that. You must do it for yourself. You
need to make time for you, the most important person in the world, and
discover for yourself what you want to be, to do or to have in life.
Take 24 hours and focus on what you want to be, to do or to have in
life. Write down everything, as if nothing is impossible and there are no
limitations or barriers. Pretend that if it is not written down, it will not
happen and contrary to that, what is written down will happen.
This simple act will crystallize all of your dreams and provide you with
more self-motivation than you can imagine.
Want more self-motivation? Seek it from the inside out and document
all of the dreams inside of you. Write a list of all the things you want to
be, to do or to have as if nothing is impossible.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Dont procrastinate, do it now!


__________________

HOW TO BOOST CONFIDENCE


The first motivation killer is a lack of confidence. When this happens to
me, its usually because Im focusing entirely on what I want and
neglecting what I already have. When you only think about what you
want, your mind creates explanations for why you arent getting it. This
creates negative thoughts. Past failures, bad breaks, and personal
weaknesses dominate your mind. You become jealous of your
competitors and start making excuses for why you cant succeed. In this
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 39

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

state, you tend to make a bad impression, assume the worst about
others, and lose self-confidence.
The way to get out of this thought pattern is to focus on gratitude. Set
aside time to focus on everything positive in your life. Make a mental
list of your strengths, past successes, and current advantages. We tend
to take our strengths for granted and dwell on our failures. By making
an effort to feel grateful, youll realize how competent and successful

Notes
__________________
__________________

you already are. This will rejuvenate your confidence and get you
motivated to build on your current success.

__________________

It might sound strange that repeating things you already know can
improve your mindset, but its amazingly effective. The mind distorts
reality to confirm what it wants to believe. The more negatively you
think, the more examples your mind will discover to confirm that
belief. When you truly believe that you deserve success, your mind will
generate ways to achieve it. The best way to bring success to self is to
genuinely desire to create value for the rest of the world.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Developing Tangible Focus


The second motivation killer is a lack of focus. How often do you focus
on what you dont want, rather than on a concrete goal? We normally
think in terms of fear. Im afraid of being poor. Im afraid no one will
respect me. Im afraid of being alone. The problem with this type of
thinking is that fear alone isnt actionable. Instead of doing something
about our fear, it feeds on itself and drains our motivation.

__________________

If youre caught up in fear based thinking, the first step is to focus the
energy on a well-defined goal. By defining a goal, you automatically
define a set of actions. If you have a fear of poverty, create a plan to
increase your income. It could be going back to school, obtaining a
higher paying job, or developing a profitable website. The key is
moving from an intangible desire to concrete, measurable steps.

__________________

By focusing your mind on a positive goal instead of an ambiguous fear,


you put your brain to work. It instantly begins devising a plan for
success. Instead of worrying about the future you start to do something
about it. This is the first step in motivating yourself to take action.
When know what you want, you become motivated to take action.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 40

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

HOW SELF-MOTIVATED ARE YOU?


Are you motivated to achieve what you really want in life? And how
hard do you push yourself to get things done?
Wanting to do something and motivating yourself to actually do it are
two different things. So, what's the difference between those who never
reach their goals, year after year, and those who achieve one goal after
another? Often, it's their self-motivation.
Self-motivation is the force that keeps pushing us to go on it's our
internal drive to achieve, produce, develop, and keep moving forward.
When you think you're ready to quit something, or you just don't know
how to start, your self-motivation is what pushes you to go on.
With self-motivation, you'll learn and grow regardless of the specific
situation. That's why it's such a fundamental tool for reaching your
goals, achieving your dreams, and succeeding, in this journey we call
life.
So, how self-motivated are you? We've put together a short quiz to give
you a better understanding of how self-motivated you are. After the
quiz, we'll discuss some specific tips for improving your selfmotivation, so that you can achieve still more in your life.

SUMMARY

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

What is self-motivation? It is key to the enjoyment of life. We can


either sit and do nothing or we can get involved in life. Self-motivation
is a crucial element in getting the most out of life. What gets us up and
moving? Trying, striving, stumbling, getting up, driving forward,
achieving? Self-motivation. We see something we like, need or want
and we go for it. What self-motivates us? Partly which we go for and
partly ourselves. We provide the enthusiasm, the effort, the thought, the
impetus that kicks us into action. What does it take to self-motivate and
utilize this energy, this force? What is self-motivation? A few simple
changes can get us on the road to success:
Balance in life - between work, home, rest and play. If
you want something, sometimes you need to simplify
other areas of your life.
Leave the unnecessary behind. Our emotions affect our
behaviour and affect our ability to succeed. Go for what
you want and then make it happen.
Concentrate. Look at what you are doing, need to do.
List your decisions, tasks, goals. This brings them into
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 41

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

view. Prioritize them. Make some decisions. Set your


tasks and goals. Work your plan.
Do what you can. Seek help or assistance if required.
Don't believe you can do everything yourself.

Notes

Getting organized is run of the first rungs of the ladder of selfmotivation to your success.

__________________

REVIEW QUESTIONS
__________________

Objective Questions
__________________

Q1. Keeping you Motivated is a ___________ plan.


Q2. Getting through one goal after another will ultimately help you
achieve your
a.
b.
c.
d.

__________________
__________________

Primary Goal
Target
Mission
Purpose

__________________
__________________

Q3. Whether the given statement is true or false:


Self-motivation is not necessarily something you are born with. You
can cultivate this characteristic if you practice.
Q4. The mind works best on:
a.
b.
c.
d.

Motives
Positive emotions
Plans
All of the above

__________________
__________________
__________________

Lack of confidence
Lack of focus
Lack of direction
All of the above

__________________
__________________

Subjective Questions
Q1. What is self-motivation and how we improve self-motivation?
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________

Q5. Identify the reason of losing motivation


a.
b.
c.
d.

__________________

Page 42

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Q2. Do Dreams Have Anything To Do With Self-Motivation?


Q3. Write about a goal you achieved which at some points seems
hopeless? Why did you keep going on?
Q4. Would you regard yourself as a self-starter? Can you give me a
recent example where you displayed this quality?
Q5. Describe when you worked the hardest and felt the greatest sense
of achievement.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 43

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 5
Goals

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

A dream without a goal is just a wish."

__________________

Bill Cole

Objectives

__________________

1. Identify Specific Goals


2. Strategize
3. Identify Obstacles

__________________
__________________

Introduction
Setting targets or goals is important for career development and
progression. Without career goals, it is impossible to achieve greatness
in life. Goals generate excitement and energy and help focus effort.
They are the avenues to effect change in your life.

__________________

Goal-setting helps you direct your conscious and subconscious


decisions towards success. The process of setting goals helps you
choose where you want to go in personal and professional life. By
being aware of precisely what you want to achieve, you know the
efforts required for it.

__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 44

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Goals help in monitoring the day to day activities and ensure the
activities are progressing in the right direction. More than this,
properly-set goals can be incredibly motivating, and as you get into the
habit of setting and achieving goals, youll find that your selfconfidence builds fast.

Notes

There are two types of goals you can set for yourself rational goals
and directional goals.

__________________

Rational goals are specific, short-time goals focusing on the


questions-

__________________
__________________

What do I want to accomplish?


Why am I doing this task?

__________________

Who are all involved in the task?

__________________

What are the expected outcomes of this task?


__________________

When can this task be expected to be completed?


Directional goals (also known as domain planning) are long-term goals
with no predictable outcomes, focusing on the question - What do I
want to accomplish? To stay focused, you should aim and visualize
these goals. You should identify possible quarters from where you can
pool up the support and required resources needed to put together and
accomplish those goals.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Principles of goal setting

__________________

The main principles of effective goal setting include:

__________________

Pinpoint your ultimate goal.


__________________

Work out the best way to achieve your goal.


__________________

Break down your ultimate goal into small, specific and


achievable mini-goals.

__________________

Monitor your progress regularly.

__________________

Adapt your goals to fit changing circumstances.


Dont berate yourself or give up if you fall short.
Write down your goals.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 45

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Make your goals known to others.


Include a reward in your goal-setting process. Plan for how you
will benefit if you meet this goal.

Notes

SMART GOALS
__________________

A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART


mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants, SMART usually stands
for:

__________________

S -Specific Specific means that the objective is concrete, detailed,

__________________

focused and well defined. That is the objective is straightforward,


emphasizes action and the required outcome. Objectives need to
communicate what you would like to see happen. To help set specific
objectives it helps to ask the following questions:

__________________
__________________

WHAT am I going to do? This are best written using strong,


action verbs such as conduct, develop, build, plan, execute, etc.
This helps your objective to be action-orientated and focuses on
whats most important.

__________________
__________________

WHY is this important for me to do?


WHO is going to do what? Who else need to be involved?
WHEN do I want this to be completed?

__________________
__________________

HOW am I going to do this?

__________________

Diagnostic Questions
__________________

What exactly are we going to do, with or for whom?

__________________

What strategies will be used?


Is the objective well understood?

__________________

Is the objective described with action verbs?


__________________

Is it clear who is involved?


__________________

Is it clear where this will happen?


Is it clear what needs to happen?
Is the outcome clear?
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 46

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Will this objective lead to the desired results?


M Measurable If the objective is measurable, it means that the
measurement source is identified and we are able to track the results of
our actions, as we progress towards achieving the objective.
Measurement is the standard used for comparison. For example, what
financial independence means to me, may be totally different compared
to what is means for you. As is so often quoted, if you cant measure
it, you cant manage it! Importantly, measurement helps us to know
when we have achieved our goal.
A goal that you can measure establishes concrete criteria that allow you
to measure your progress. It gives you benchmark which, when
reached, give you the satisfaction of achievement. This is a great boost
to your confidence and spurs you on a greater effort. You may ask the
following diagnostic questions:

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Diagnostic Questions
How will I know that the change has occurred?

__________________

Can these measurements be obtained?

__________________

A Attainable Goals need to be achievable, if the goals are too far in


the future, youll find it difficult to keep motivated and to strive
towards their attainment. Goals, unlike your aspirations and visions,
need to be achievable to keep you motivated. Whilst being obtainable,
objectives still need to stretch you, but not so far that you become
frustrated and lose motivation. You may ask the following diagnostic
questions:

__________________

Diagnostic Questions

__________________

Can we get it done in the proposed timeframe?

__________________
__________________

__________________

Do I understand the limitations and constraints?


__________________

Can we do this with the resources we have?

__________________

Has anyone else done this successfully?


Is this possible?

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 47

Soft Skills & Personality Development


Realistic - Goals that are attainable may not be realistic.. However,

realistic does not mean easy. Realistic means that you have the
resources to get it done. The achievement of a goal requires resources,
such as, skills, money, equipment, etc. to support the tasks required to
achieve the goal. Most goals are attainable but, may require a change in
your priorities to make them happen.

Notes
__________________

Having clear action plan to achieve your goals is critical to goal setting
success. You must ask yourself the following questions:

__________________

Diagnostic Questions

__________________

Do you have the resources available to achieve this goal?

__________________

Do I need to revisit priorities in my life to make this happen?


__________________

Is it possible to achieve this goal?

T Time-bound means setting deadlines for the achievement of the

__________________

goal. Deadlines create the all important sense of urgency. If you dont
set a deadline, you will reduce the motivation and urgency required to
execute the tasks. Deadlines create the necessary urgency and prompts
action.

__________________

Whether your timeframe is today, tomorrow or in 5 years time, setting a


time to attain makes your S.M.A.R.T goals a priority.
You may ask the following diagnostic questions:

__________________
__________________
__________________

Diagnostic Questions
__________________

When will this objective be accomplished?


Is there a stated deadline?

__________________

Starting To Set Personal Goals

__________________

Goals are set on a number of different levels:


First you create your big picture of what you want to do with your
life, and decide what large-scale goals you want to achieve.
Second, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that
you must hit so that you reach your lifetime goals.
Finally, once you have your plan, you start working to achieve it.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 48

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Goal Planner
Lifetime Goals (long range)

Notes

1.
2.

__________________

3.

__________________

4.
__________________

One-year goals (medium range)


1.

__________________

2.

__________________

3.

__________________

4.
__________________

One-month goals (short range)


1.

__________________

2.

__________________

3.
__________________

4.
Pick two top priority goals from each category. Enter them here. These
are the goals; you will begin to work on, now.

__________________
__________________

1.

__________________

2.
3.

__________________

4.
__________________

5.
6.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 49

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The above six top priority goals should occupy your time for one
month. Next month, you should make a new list. Some goals will
remain top priority while others will drop off. The goals will always be
accompanied by a list of specific, easy to accomplish steps. You should
set aside a certain time each day to work on top priority goals.
Emphasis should be on results rather than activity.

Notes
__________________

What makes a good goal? A good goal is one that when followed,
offers a reasonably high probability of success in the defined timeframe.

We can follow 7 goal setting steps to follow that help in


building the road map to good goals:
1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really
want, not just something that sounds good: When setting goals it is
very important for you to remember that the goals are compatible with
their personal interests and values. Any inherent conflict or
incompatibility will cause unwarranted friction and adversely impact
accomplishment of the goals.
2. A goal cannot contradict any of your other goals: Non-integrated
thinking can also sabotage all the your hard work put into your goals.
Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts. You
should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas youre your
thinking.
3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life: Setting goals in each area of
life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and
change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area
of life also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking. The six
areas of life that need goal-setting include
Family and Home

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Physical and Health

__________________

Mental and Educational


__________________

Financial and Career


Spiritual and Ethical

__________________

Social and Cultural

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 50

Soft Skills & Personality Development

4. Write down your goals: The difference between a goal and a dream
is the written word. Writing down the goals creates the roadmap to
success. Although the mere act of writing them down can set the
process in motion, it is also extremely important to review the goals
frequently. The more focused you are on your goals, the more likely
you are to accomplish them.

Notes
__________________

5. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative: The


subconscious mind cannot determine right from wrong and it does not
judge. Its only function is to carry out its instructions. The more
positive instructions one gives it, the more positive results one will get.

__________________
__________________

6. Write your goal out in complete detail. Writing down goals in


details is once again giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of
instructions to work on. The more information one gives it, the more
clear the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the
more efficient the subconscious mind can become.
7. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough: Keeping in
view the time and resources at their disposal, you should set fairly high
but practicable goals. Lower goals are indicators of lower motivational
levels on the part of managers. Higher goals are pointers to the zest you
have toward your work. Apart from the above, traditional goal-setting
wisdom teaches that a good goal must be believable, specific and
measurable, and have a deadline. You must believe that it is possible
for you to achieve the goal or you will not be motivated to try. The
goals should also be measurable and specific enough for you to know
unambiguously whether they have been completed yet or not. For goals
to be meaningful, you must know the time-frame by when they are to
be accomplished.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Goal accomplishment

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 51

Soft Skills & Personality Development

When you have achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction
of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement,
and observe the progress you have made towards other goals. If the
goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this
helps you build the self-confidence you deserve!
With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of
your goal plans:
If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goals
harder.
If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the
next goals a little easier.
If you learned something that would lead you to change other
goals, do so.
If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal,
decide whether to set goals to fix this.
Failure to meet goals does not matter much, as long as you learn from
it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting program. Remember
too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly
to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not
hold any attraction any longer, then let them go.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

So your goals are written down.


What Next?

__________________

First of all, unless someone is critical to helping you achieve your


goal(s), do not freely share your goals with others. The negative attitude
from friends, family and neighbours can drag you down quickly. Its
very important that your self-talk (the thoughts in your head) are
positive.

__________________

Reviewing your goals daily is a crucial part of your success and must
become part of your routine. Each morning when you wake up read
your list of goals that are written in the positive. Visualize the
completed goal, see the new home, smell the leather seats in your new
car, feel the cold hard cash in your hands. Then each night, right before
you go to bed, repeat the process. This process will start both your
subconscious and conscious mind on working towards the goal. This
will also begin to replace any of the negatives self-talk you may have
and replace it with positive self-talk.
Every time you make a decision during the day, ask yourself this
question, Does it take me closer to, or further from my goal. If the
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 52

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

answer is closer to, then youve made the right decision. If the
answer is further from, well, you know what to do. If you follow this
process everyday you will be on your way to achieving unlimited
success in every aspect of your life.

Notes

Basics Tips
__________________

These basic tips are organized in a sequence that will support you from
thinking about your goals to actually achieving them. Dont forget,
these are only suggestions, take what you like and try it out for a while
to see what works best for you. Have fun and play; dont make your
goals shoulds but wants.
1. Use a diary to keep track of your goals journey where you may
keep daily or weekly records of your progress including affirmations,
successes, appreciation for your hard work, rewards, resistances,
obstacles, etc. Use your goal diary to write goals initially and to rewrite
them over time. Use it to break your goals into steps. Review your
progress regularly and jot a few notes. Develop consistent habits of
writing about your thoughts and goal progress. It will propel you
forward at a faster pace. Use colored pens and playful things like
stickers and pictures, have fun!
2. Get yourself into a positive state before writing your goals: Its
really important to get yourself into an inspired, positive and relaxed
state before writing goals. Some ideas for getting yourself into a
positive state include: Meditation, listening to inspiring music, reading
something fun or funny, watching a funny movie, taking a walk in a
naturally beautiful place, brisk exercise, reading or listening to an
inspirational story, listening to motivational tapes, brisk exercise or
prayer.
3. Start brainstorming: After getting into a good mental and
emotional state, starts your brainstorming. Write all possible goals
quickly without any editing or criticism. You can review and prioritize
later; right now you want to be as creative and grand in your vision as
you can be.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

4. Here are four tips for writing effective goal statements:


Say it like its already happened: When writing your goal, say it like
it has already happened. Put your goals in words that assume that
you already have achieved them. For example, I now have a new
silver Honda City 4 door 2011 sedan.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 53

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Use motivating language: To get you passionate, committed and


motivated, add emotional language to your written goals. Heres an
example I absolutely love and am excited about my beautiful new
home in the hills which is much more passionate than I like my
new home in the hills.
Write specifically and in detail: Because your subconscious
manifests things literally, you want to write specific detailed goals.
Use language that is clear in describing exactly what it is you want
Write in positive terms rather than negative ones: Examples of
positive statements might be: I am now free of the habit of
smoking. Negative examples might be I dont smoke anymore or
Im not a smoker.
5. Be sure theyre really your goals: Check in with yourself to make
sure that youre thinking about what you really want. Often we try to
please others at our own expense. You wont be successful trying to
reach the goals your parents, spouse or other friends or relatives want
for you.
6. Be congruent in creating goals: Consider your most important
values and beliefs when formulating your goals (e.g. honesty, security,
integrity, freedom, responsibility, respect for others, love, leadership,
etc.). For instance if you value freedom, your goal might be to be
self-employed.
7. Prioritize your goals: After youve brainstormed, one way to
prioritize is to put the highest priority goals at 10 out of a possible 10
points and the least important at 1 out of 10. Pick 3-7 of the goals with
high numbers and focus your efforts only on them for the next few
months. Try not to pick too many goals to focus on as this will dilute
your energy and make it harder to get the results you want.
8. Create a step-by-step plan: Break each goal down into manageable
blocks creating a step-by-step plan to achieve it. For example, if you
want to attain a degree, first decide exactly what courses to take,
funding support, duration of the course, study schedule etc. Write this
down in your goal diary. Then write the specific steps you need to get
to your goal such as: Visit the university and obtain a copy of the
prospectus, look at different degrees, apply for a loan,visualize yourself
having attained the degree etc.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 54

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Notes
__________________
__________________

9. Model the strategies of successful people: Think of people you


know or you know about who can serve as models. Modeling your
actions after someone who has already achieved what you want can
help you save time and prevent the painful trial and error that you
would have to endure without this kind of help. They can provide an
effective roadmap to move you ahead.
10. The 3 Rs Review, re-evaluate, and rewrite: Review your
goals regularly and write the steps for the day on your to do list.
Re-evaluate and rewrite your main goals every three to six months.
Because things change, you may find that what you wanted a few
months ago are not exactly what you want now. Be sure to re-evaluate
sub-goals, steps and strategies.
11. Patience is a virtue: Dont be too impatient some goals take
longer to manifest. Delays in reaching your goals do not imply that you
wont reach them. When you plant a seed, you cant keep digging it up
every week to see if it has sprouted, sometimes reaching goals is the
same. You must believe in what you want enough to keep pursuing
your dream while putting your attention on other things as well.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

12. Keeps your balance: Maintain a light hearted attitude while


working on your goals. Although commitment and persistence are
important, balance in your life will keep you motivated and inspired.
Too much focused intensity may keep you from opening up to new
possibilities and can actually hold you back.
13. Pay attention to hunches: Make a commitment to pay attention to
hunches and intuition when taking actions towards your goal.
Sometimes these are very subtle nudges that move you in a beneficial
direction you didnt expect.
14. Rehearse and visualize your success: Imagine having your degree,
new houses or vacations whatever your vision is. Imagine with all your
senses having already achieved your goal. Think about how great that
feels, looks and sounds.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 55

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

15. Use a to do list for taking daily actions: Using a to do list and
prioritizing your goals regularly is a useful technique. Sometimes you
will get bogged down in day-to-day business and you might overlook
the steps needed to get to your goals. Be sure to integrate the goals into
your to do list daily or weekly (at least), then put the highest priority
goals at the top and take action on those first.

Notes
__________________

One of the secrets of successful people is they take action on the most
important things every day. Avoid focusing a lot of attention on things
that are not important. Heres a quote from Robert Allen (a bestselling
author and motivation expert), who recommends facing the hardest
things first. Dont do first things first, do feared things first! An even
more outrageous way to start the day from Allen is to dig a hole, throw
in a crocodile and jump in!
16. Enhance your skills: In order to accomplish more challenging
goals, you need to enhance certain skills and also learn new ones.
Therefore, skill enhancement is an ongoing activity which can be
accomplished through on-the-job training, work and personal
experience and continuous lifelong learning. Relate your skill
enhancements to the goals set, so that goal accomplishment becomes
much easier.
17. Learn from past experiences: We all have encountered positive
and negative experiences in the past. It is important to utilize these
experiences in setting goals and objectives. Due to negative past
experiences, we must not shy-away from challenging goals. However,
the required learning from the negative experience should be received.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Things to remember

__________________

Break down your ultimate goals into small, specific and


achievable mini-goals.

__________________

Keep a diary to monitor your progress.


What is a goal?
A goal is a specific accomplishment that you plan to achieve
A goal can be monitored and should be achieved within a
specified time
Effort is needed to achieve your specific goal
Why set goals?
To establish direction
To train with intensity and purpose
To motivate you to action
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 56

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

To identify and monitor progress


Benefits of using goals
Helps plan your time
Balances all the things happening in your life
Records your achievements
Helps manage your day-to-day life

Notes

The importance of goal setting


Writing down goals is the first step towards achieving them. It
also forces you to visualise them and creates a commitment on
your part. You can create goals for different areas of your life.
There are short and long-term goals, which make for a stepping
stone.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 57

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 6
Notes

Stress Management

__________________

Objectives
After reading this unit, you would know:

__________________

1. What is stress and what are the causes of stress


2. The major components of stress and how do they affect ones
health
3. Methods of coping with stress
4. Impact of stress in an organization

__________________
__________________
__________________

Introduction
According to National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health,
stress oriented disorders are fast becoming the most significant reasons
for an employees professional and personal disability. Stress is a
universal and all-pervasive phenomenon. It is indeed a well established
fact that stress is no longer confined to the realms of negativity; it may,
on the contrary, be also a necessary evil. Considering its impact on a
persons behaviour, stress has drawn global attention. There is no
denying that stress as a phenomenon is already one of the most debated
issues the world over. Different experts have different views on the
subject. Yet, there is one uncontested commonality that stress has to be
handled, albeit, ways and means to cope up may vary That would
depend on nature, extent, duration, affected person, his mental and
psychological resilience and over all complexity of stress.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

What is stress?
__________________

As stated, earlier, it is an inevitable universal and all-pervasive


phenomenon. Stress is derived from Latin word Strengere that meant
hardship, strain, adversity or affliction. Some of the experts have
defined stress as under:
"Stress is any condition that disturbs normal functioning.
(Amold, 1960)
Stress is a non-specific response of the body to any demand.
(Selye, 1974)
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 58

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Stress refers to physiological, behavioural and cognitive


response events appraised as threatening or exceeding ones
coping responses and options. (Lazarus, 1960)
Stress is the state of an organism where he perceives that his
well-being is endangered and that he must divert all his energies
to its protection. (Cofer and Appley, 1964)
Stress is a dynamic state within an organization in response to a
demand for adaptations. (Wolff, 1968)
Stress is a stimulus or situation to which man reacts with
learned coping mechanism activated by homeostasis principle
and fueled by energies which are in finite supply. (Marshal
and Cooper, 1979)
Stress is defined in terms of tolerance, stressful environment
which are those that are outside the normal tolerance limit of
daily function at extreme level; stimulation might be perceived
as pain. (Mc Grath etal, 1972)

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

What are the types of stress?


In 1992, W. Schafer clarified stress in his publication, Stress
Management for wellness. As per him, stress can be broadly classified
into three categories:
1. Anticipatory stress- It is a persons response to expected stress.
2. Current stress It occurs concurrently during ones de-facto
exposure to immediate experiencing.
3. Residual stress It occurs as a post experience effect or as an
impact of over-stimulation to stress.
It is important to understand that stress has two principal constituents,
i.e. stressors and strain. The former relate to any factor within or
without which impacts, induces, and enhances stress. Stressors can be
of the following kinds:
Personally related
Personal familiar
Social
Organic
Organizational
Role related
Occupational
Environmental
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Page 59

Soft Skills & Personality Development

On the other hand, strain is the state of being stressed, it generally


falls in one of the three categories, viz, Physiological,
Psychological, or Behavioural.
In essence a stressor is usually drawn from environmental stimulus and
strain per se refers to an individuals response to stimulus/stimuli.

Notes
__________________

What is the impact of stress?


Simply put, the most visible and predominant affects of stress are
physical and psychological distress of different pattern and intensity.
Here it merits clarifications that it is primarily, strain, a person
experiences from external factors that generates adverse effects of
stress.
Physically, most of the medical scientists are of the opinion that a large
number of physical ailments can be traced back to stress. Greenberg in
1980 felt that some of the major stress induced ailments could be Blood
Pressure (BP), Hyper-tension, Ulcers, Heart disease, Asthma, Diabetics,
Thyroid (Hyper/Hypo), Skin related problems and immune related
deficiencies/disorders. The affected person must take cognizance of
symptoms like dizzeness, nausea, headache, eczema and migraines etc.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Psychological stress can induce the following psychological problems:


__________________

Frustration
Irritation
Anger
Sleeplessness
Tension
Tiredness
Low/diluted self-esteem
Self-pity
Depression
Indecisiveness
Lack of physical/emotional desires
Lack of concentration
Lower attention spans

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

The major concern is that any one of the above, or a comibnation can
turn into major psychological disorders, like, emotional drain out, acute
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 60

Soft Skills & Personality Development

depression and total lack of self respect.


How does stress take shape?
Depending on the stress factors highlighted, above three broad patterns
of stress can be:

Notes
__________________

Stress Pattern
__________________

Organizational

Occupational Stress

Life Event Stress

__________________

Role Stress
__________________
__________________

Organizational Role Stress


A person (an executive) can find himself confronting one of the (or
cumulative effect of more than one) of stresses:

__________________
__________________

Inter-role distance stress


Role stagnation
Role expectation conflict
Role erosion
Role overload
Role isolation
Personal Inadequacy
Self-role distance
Role ambiguity
Resource inadequacy

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 61

Soft Skills & Personality Development

To cope up with the above, Udai Pareek suggested the following:


Role Stress

Self-role distance
Inter-role distance
Role stagnation
Role isolation
Role ambiguity
Role expectation
conflict
Role overload
Role erosion

Dysfunctional
Strategies

Functional
Strategies

Role rejection Selfrejection


Role partition Role
elimination
Role fixation
Role boundness
Role prescription
Role taking

Role integration

Role reduction
Role visibility

Role slimming
Role
development/enrich
ment
Resource generation

Notes
__________________

Role negotiation
Role transition
Role linkage
Role clarification
Role making

__________________
__________________
__________________

Resource
Role atrophy
inadequacy
Personal inadequacy Role shrinkage

Role linkage

__________________
__________________
__________________

Occupational Stress
__________________

In 1977, Peter Drucker published People and Performance and his


basic theme was based on, work is both a burden and a need.Since a
worker spends most of his life at his work station, his satisfaction and
professional development depends on the kind of life he has at his work
station/organization. His opinion was that there are eight broad
occupational stresses can be seen in the light of the following:
Adequate and fair compensation
Safe and healthy working conditions
Opportunity to use and develop human capacities
Opportunity for continued growth and security
Social Integration
Constitutionalism
Work and the total life space
Social relevance of work life

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Page 62

Soft Skills & Personality Development

If one were to go back to theories of motivation, it would emerge that a


worker generally aspires for five major incentives:
Job/career advancement
More empowerment/operational freedom
Enhanced remuneration
Better training and overall development
Solution to problems related to work at hand

Notes
__________________
__________________

The aforementioned five incentives are affected by four dimensions of


work environment and these are:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Psychological Can be emotional or cognitive in nature


Physical Space, house, safety, types of machines, tools etc
Social Bosses, colleagues, subordinates and so on
Organizational Lack of communication, bureaucracy, red
tapism etc

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Life-events stress
This type of stress is based on types of situation an individual may face
and the meaning and importance he may attach to such
situations/events i.e. merger of Indian Airlines and Air India. Some
were stressed and others were not. A person who has unbalanced life
may face more stress than the one who lives a balanced life. For
balanced life the following are the major components:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Emotional stability
Ability to work cheerfully and productively
Maturity of character
Ability to overcome the paralyzing stress of life
Ability of judge reality accurately
Ability to foresee and farsee; to evaluate things with foresight
Ability to love; ability to sustain affectionate relationship with
people
Ability to gratify huger, thirst and sexual urges in such a way as
not to hurt other people or oneself
Having an effective conscience
Ability to forget and forgive
Ability to switch off the mind (as in mediation or dhayana), or

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 63

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

at least slow it down (as in Dharana)


As a corollary of the ability to judge reality accurately the
ability to see things in the proper perspective; neither to
underestimate nor to overestimate things or people, including
oneself. To have neither the super ego nor an attitude of
self pity.
As a corollary to emotional stability to have optimism no
dolefulness, no hypochondria.
Having no guilt complex
Ability to live in the present, in the here and now, neither in the
past nor in the future
No inveterate obsessions and phobias, Compulsive eating,
smoking, drinking, or being a slave to any other obnoxious habit
is not only escapism, but also suicidal. Being a compulsive
worker (a workaholic) is also undesirable for physical and
mental health. Baseless fears disqualify one from being
considered mentally healthy.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

As an add-on MM Bhanugara went back to the domain of Yoga and


added the following disorders:

__________________

Disorders

__________________

Gastrointestinal disorder
Cardiovascular
Respiratory
Urogenital
Dermatological
Muscular
Endocrinic
Exocrinic
Neurological
Affective disorder

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Remedies
Behavioural skills training which include Arousal Reduction
Bensons Relaxation Response, and various other aids to
relaxation; Meditation (Transcendental Meditation)
Yoga; Exercise (Aerobics or Walking)
Recreation
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 64

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Acupuncture
Time Management
Prioritizing and decision-making
Behavioural Medicine- Life style (Stress-Minimizing Style)
(Enlightened Lifestyle)
Stress-Inoculation Training
Biofeedback; cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Notes
__________________
__________________

How does one handle stress?


Based on the findings social, organizational meditational and medical
research, many management techniques have been identified to cope
with adverse effects of stress. It is not necessary that every technique
will apply to every stressed individual. In each stressed individual the
causes(s) for stress may be different.
Accordingly, different
technique(s) may be warranted for different individuals.
The
techniques have been dealt with under the categories of:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Organizational Stress Management


Life-Events Stress Management
Meditational /Miscellaneous suggestions

__________________
__________________

Organizational Stress Management Techniques


Stress Audit

__________________

There is a four stepped Human Resource Development


(HRD)/Organizational Development (OD) approach. This technique
helps to ascertain the major stresses at various levels of organizational
and identifies dominant personality related traits etc; anger, motivation,
anxiety, nervousness etc, it minimizes the frequency and intensity of
stressful situation and finally it moderates the intensity of integral job
stressors, which in turn impact strains. The phases of this technique
are:
Phase I- Carry out Stress Tolerance Limit (STL) measurement.
This involves employing standard psychometric techniques.
Phase II- Identify dominant role stress dimensions
Phase III- Collect qualitative data on stress variable and their
effect on performance and personal health. This is normally
done through interviews.
Phase IV- Take remedial actions.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 65

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Use of Scientific Inputs


In this technique, there is dissemination of information regarding ways
to handle stressors within the organzation and outside the dissemination
normally includes knowledge of stress responses, exercises diet and
meditation.

Notes
__________________

Seeking Advice of company Doctors.


They act as counselors, and helping employees to identify causes and
methods to deal with the same. They also help in resolving interpersonal conflicts.

In this, the stress is sharing with all the important and long term
benefits of stable habits of work, leisure, proper diet, physical upkeep,
good hygiene habits and meditation. Stress focused training
programmes can be:
Stress Management Training Programme.
Employees Assistance Programme. It deals with counseling
service by the organization.
Stress Reduction/Intervention Programme.
This involves
change in job design/content.
Byrum and Robinson in 1993 suggested the following methods:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Corporate restructuring/job redesigning/job enrichment.


Compensation/reward systems
Participative decision-making
Team building/outdoor leadership courses/executive retreats
Management and supervisory training
Recruitment/orientation and organizational socialization
Job-fit
Performance management/goal setting
Career development
Communication organizational policies/survey feedback system
Change of workloads and deadlines
Change in work schedules/flex-time/summer hours/sabbaticals
Casual dress days
Wellness programmes

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________

Spread the Message

__________________

Page 66

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Employee assistance/counseling programme


Community involvement
Define (introduction to the dynamic of stress process including
causes, symptoms)
Dig (help participants to analyse their own stress level and
related phenomena by using relevant instruments etc.)
Delineate how tos.
Decide (to do something)
Detach (relaxation with various techniques)
Declare (public commitment)
Dispute (negative thoughts and messages)
Ram (visualize future state)
Do (take action; carry out and continue)
Life- Event Stress Management

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Medical experts have realized that many stress related ailments are not
totally psychological but can also be psychological and psychometric in
nature, and these can be traced back to environment, organizations,
family and society. These disorders can be:
Gastrointestinal disorder
Cardiovascular
Respiratory
Urogenital
Dermatological
Musculo-skeletal
Endocrinic
Exocrinic
Neurological
Affective disorder

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

The individual stress breaking exercises can be categorized into:

__________________

Behavioural Skills Training which include Arousal Reduction


Bensons Relaxation Response, and various other aids to
relaxation; Meditation (Transcendental Meditation)
Yoga; Exercise (Aerobics or Walking)
Recreation
Acupuncture
Time Management
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 67

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Prioritizing and Decision-Making


Behavioural Medicine- Life style (Stress-Minimizing Style
Enlightened Lifestyle)
Stress-Inoculation Training
Biofeedback; cognitive Behaviour Therapy
NL Tubesing and DA Tubesing in 1982 in their publication The
Treatment of Choice: Selecting Stress Skills to Suit the Individual and
Situation, gave the essence of stress skills and stress Management
strategic. Details are reproduced as under:

Relationship:
Scene-changing skills for
altering the environment and
interaction with it

Valuing:
Aligning energy investment with
core
Values
Personal Planning:
Setting goals and progressing
steadily toward accomplishment
Commitment:
Saying yes wholeheartedly
Time Management:
Setting priorities to spend time
effectively
Pacing:
Regulating the tempo of life
Contract:
Forming satisfying friendship
Listening:
Tuning into others feelings and
meanings
Assertiveness:
Attending to self and boundaries
Fight:
Retreating from the pressure
Nest-building:
Beautifying the environment
Relabeling:
Seeing the promise in the problem
Surrender:
Letting go and letting be
Faith:
Accepting limits and the
unknowable

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________
__________________

Table I
Personal Management:
Self-regulation skills for
organizing time and energy
expenditure

Notes

Page 68

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Whisper:
Talking positively to self
Imagination:
Using creativity and humor
Stamina:
Body-building skills to
strengthen resistance and relieve
tension

Exercise:
Strengthening and fine tuning the
body
Nourishment:
Eating for health
Gentleness:
Treating self with care and kindness
Relaxation:
Cruising in neutral and replenishing
resources

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Table II

__________________

Techniques

Mind/Body connection

Breathing

Deep rhythmic breathing is the simplest and most


reliable relaxation technique. A multitude of special
breathing partners and techniques can be used to
combat situational stress and prevent the build-up of
tension during the day. Breathing is a primary
building block for all other relaxation techniques
This most common relaxation technique provides a
way to identify tension in specific muscle groups and
to discriminate between subjective feelings of tension
and relaxation of muscle group is combines with the
convert use of relaxing expressions
AT teaches the stressed body and mind to relax
quickly on a verbal command and to return form an
alarm state to a balanced normal state suing images of
warmth and heaviness to alter respiratory and
circulatory functioning.
The self-induced hypnotic trance promotes physical
relaxation as well as providing an opportunity to gain
control over emotions and to make positive
suggestions for change.
Meditation may be the most holistic of the stressmanagement skills, involving sensory awareness,
physical relaxation, surrender of thought processes,
and focusing on the life force in breathing and
contemplation. This mind-clearing ritual refreshes
body, mind and spirit.

__________________

Progressive
relaxation

Autogenic
training (AT)

Self-hypnosis

Meditation

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 69

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Yoga

Visualization

Message

Biofeedback

The underlying goal of yoga is to enable the


individual, through self-discipline, to control the body
and mind and thereby, the stress response
Visualization skills can be used to re-focus the mind
on positive, healing images. Individuals may fantasize
peaceful, safe scenes or imagine the tension flowing
out of muscle groups or painful areas. The technique
is often coupled with progressive muscle relaxation or
autogenic exercise to maximize deep relaxation.
Message provides relief from muscular tension
through deep manipulation to tissues, surface stroking,
or pressure at certain trigger points that seem to
control tightness and energy flow in various part of the
body. Self-message is an easily accessible tension
reducer.
Biofeedback refers to any objective measurement of
biological processes that indicate stress. Whether the
particular mechanism records heart rate or skin
conductivity or the electrical impulses in muscles,
biofeedback gives the individual immediate feedback
and monitoring of their stress response. Modifications
receive immediate reinforcement.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Miscellaneous Techniques
Breathing exercise. Breath deeply and relax mind. This can be
done any time preferably at day time.
Exercise regularly, it helps to release endorphins, which
relieves stress.
Be mentally tough, dont let criticism affect you. Look at it for
improvement, if boss shouts or abuses, discuss with him.
Know the problem. Try to find out the cause of stress. Try to
remove the cause rather than reducing stress.
Draw balance between life and work. Have time for hobby,
family, leisure.
Delegate, share the work load. Trust others and their
capabilities.
Let go. Know difference behaviour what you can continue and
what you cannot.
Learn Time Management, do not procrastinate. Know what
must be done, what should be done, what could be done.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 70

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Summary
Stress is a normal phenomenon, provided you do not allow it to control
your life. It is difficult to totally eradicate stress, but it can be handled.
Stress has powerful impact on a person. We must know that some level
of stress is certainly required because that spurs as to action, and
challenges our capabilities. In addition to the methods mentioned in
this unit, positive thinking and healthy attitude towards ones own life
and others can help in stress reduction. If you still cannot handle, then
do seek counselors advice.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Review Questions
1.
2.
3.
4.

What is stress and how does it affect an individual.


What is the broad stress pattern? How does it reach peak level?
What is a stressor? What are the strains? Explain.
How would you carry out organizational stress management?

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 71

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 7
Time Management

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Time is the coin of your life.


It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be
spent.
Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

__________________

~ C arl S andbur g ~

__________________

__________________

__________________

Table of Discussions
__________________

1. Introduction - Understanding Time Management

__________________

2. Symptoms of Poor Time Management


3. The Eleven Time Thieves

__________________

4. Monochronic and Polychronic Views of Time


__________________

5. Time Management Matrix


6. Elements of Effective Time Management

__________________

7. Getting Oriented to Manage Time

__________________

8. Overcoming Barriers to Effective Time Management


__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 72

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Objectives
This comprehensive article on Time Management should help you
understand the following:
Analysing our use of time
Assessing the time management matrix
Identifying ways to leveraging our time
Knowing what our time is worth

Notes
__________________
__________________

Introduction: Understanding Time Management

__________________

Time Management Skills, focuses on how you can develop approaches


and strategies that will enable you to effectively deal with time
management problems in a variety of contexts.

__________________

Every individual on earth has the same amount of time - 60 seconds in


a minute; 60 minutes in an hour; 1,440 minutes in a day; and 525,600
minutes in a year. While a vast majority of people confesses faltering to
come to grips with it, extremely few can claim to have made the most
of it. How is it that they have got it all done? Its because they have
managed a way to figure out how to manage their time effectively.
Time Management is more than just managing time. It is about
controlling the use of the most valuable - and undervalued - resource. It
is managing oneself in relation to time. It is setting priorities and taking
charge of the situation and time utilization. It means changing those
habits or activities that cause waste of time. It is being willing to adopt
habits and methods to make maximum use of time. With good time
management skills one is in control of ones time, stress and energy
levels. One can maintain balance between ones work and personal life.
One finds enough flexibility to respond to surprises or new
opportunities. It is not how much time one has, but rather the way one
uses it. The bottom line is how well one manages time.
One cannot control time as one can control other resources such as,
financial capital, human capital and information, one can only control
how one uses it. In the world in which we live, time cannot be replaced
or re-created. It is therefore not for us to choose whether we spend or
save time but to choose only how we spend it.
You have not had to manage your time efficiently prior to college
because you are bright and weren't really challenged in school. The
situation often changes in college as you engage in more rigorous study
hours keeping in mind what lies ahead is your future.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 73

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

If you can identify with any part of the above paragraph, working on
improving your time management may be beneficial to you.
In this program, you will be given the opportunity to assess where your
time goes and make some decisions about changes you would like to
make to use your time more effectively. There is no one right way to
manage your time; however, it is important to get to know yourself so
you can make good decisions about how to use your time. We all have
168 hours in a week to use as we wish; however, some people make
better use of this time than others. If you perceive that this is an area of
your life that needs improvement, this program is for you. Throughout
the program, you will learn ways to use your time more effectively.

Symptoms of Poor Time Management

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Poor time management shows up by way of one or a combination of


typical perceptible symptoms. You can look for and reflect on whether
they are subject to any of those symptoms with a view to take necessary
corrective actions.

__________________
__________________

The following are some of the indicators of poor time


management:

__________________

Constant rushing (e.g. between meetings or tasks)

__________________

Frequent delays (e.g. in attending meetings, meeting deadlines)

__________________

Frustration (e.g. Oh, things just dont move ahead)


Impatience (e.g. where the hell is that information Ive asked him
for?)
Chronic vacillation between alternatives (e.g. whichever option I
choose it is going to put me at a big disadvantage. I dont know which
way to jump)
Difficulty setting and achieving goals (e.g. Im not sure what is
expected of me)

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 74

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The Eleven Time Thieves


There are eleven thieves that gang up to steal some of your precious
time away
1. Poor Planning: Failure to see the value of planning and getting
impatient to get something done are the causes of poor planning.

Notes
__________________

Absence of a plan of action is likely to trigger off a false start, resulting


in unproductive time utilization on the critical path of the task being
undertaken. Consequently, you might not find enough time for
completing the task.

__________________

2. Procrastination: It is easy to put off tasks if they are not due right
away. The trouble is, tasks pile up and can force you to run into a time
crunch later. Procrastination is generally triggered off by the fear of
failure/success, perfectionism, wanting to do it all or incorrect
priorities. It is a virtue to want to do a good job. But some people
become so anxious about getting a job done perfectly that they never
complete it. You should examine whether your efforts to get the job
done perfectly are really improving things or preventing them from
getting the job done.

__________________

3. Interruptions: Interruptions and distractions arise due to lack of


planning, poor concentration and lack of control over environment.
They are unnecessary thieves of your time and come in many forms
drop-in visitors, telephones, e-mails unscheduled meetings, poor
communications and confused chain of authority etc. You should be
less willing to automatically give away their time just because they
demand it. You should learn to avoid distractions if you are to get work
done. You should work in areas where they are less likely to be
disturbed and tell people when they are busy and cannot be disturbed.

__________________

4. Not Delegating: Wanting-to-do-all by oneself is yet another thief


that could let the you lose control. You feel that people can never do
anything as well as they can. You fear that something will go wrong if
someone else takes over a job. They lack time for long-range planning
because they are bogged down in day-to-day operations.

__________________

6. Unnecessary Meetings: If a meeting is held without a specific


agenda and nothing productive comes out of it, clearly that meeting was
unnecessary. Obviously, such meetings are thieves, as the time is
wasted and things just do not get started.
7. Poor Physical Setup: Not having the things that you need frequently
within easy reach and having a lot of the things that they seldom require
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 75

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

close-by results in wastage of a lot of time, wearing out the carpet,


retrieving what they frequently need. And of course, as they pass others
they will often pull them aside to steal some of their time.
9. Poor Networking: Quality relationships with people and others can
be a substantial time-saver as they open doors for the managers with all
kinds of opportunities. Failing to develop a good network base will
cause them to waste time creating what they might have had through
their network.
10. Bad Attitude: Nothing sinks a day more effectively than having a
poor attitude. It causes you to dwell on the problems and not the
solutions and makes it possible to throw the day away. When they are
burdening others with their problems and complaints they are forfeiting
their valuable time.
11. Negative People: Being surrounded by negative people could mean
you are spending a lot of their time listening to them but getting nothing
much or purposeful from them. Obviously, avoiding such people will
help the managers to minimize wasted hours and get some of their
productive time back.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Monochronic and Polychronic Views of Time


Just as a persons overall personality is made up of and represented by
their traits, a persons time personality is made up of a series of time
styles monochromic or polychronic. It is expected that a persons
awareness of the monochronic/polychromic side of personal time style
affects his or her overall approach to time use, perceptions of time
pressure and the amounts and order of time spent on tasks. This, in turn,
affects his or her personal efficiency.
Monochronic approach to time management is essentially objective and
lays emphasis on promptness, speed, brevity and punctuality. It is a
very efficient and focused way to manage work and life. Monochronic
time people are those who thrive on detailed planning and
organization. They prefer to focus on one task at a time and they follow
a schedule from which they dont like to deviate. They tend to get upset
by distractions or interruptions and are inclined to put new tasks off
until a later date, when they can be worked into the schedule.
Polychronic approach to time management is subjective and lays
emphasis on inspiration, imagination, flexibility, intuition and
dedication. Trust, bonding, pleasure and quality of life influence more
strongly the decisions of a person who ticks in polychronic time.
Polychronic time people prefer to have many projects under way
simultaneously, enjoy changing from activity to activity and are
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 76

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

unflustered by distractions and interruptions. Unlike their monochronic


counterparts, polychronic people believe they perform well under
pressure.
Clearly, monochronic approach is better suited for dealing with routine
and predictable tasks, while polychronic approach is better suited in
dealing with things such as creating a new concept or resolving an
argument. Conflict arises when you apply a monchronic style to a
situation that demands polychronic time, or you prefer polychronic
style while the situation warrants the use of monchronic style.
So how do you cope with a healthy need for subjective, polychronic,
self-imposed time and at the same time fit in with the monochronic and
objective time measures? The only way you can figure out which
method works best in a given situation is based on sound reasoning and
acumen.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

How can you get an extra hour out of each day?


Here are some tips to help you squeeze those extra minutes out of
your day. Of course, you can adapt these so that they will fit in with
your situation.
1. Get up earlier

__________________
__________________
__________________

2. Watch less TV
__________________

3. Avoid allowing others to waste your time


4. If you dont have to drive to work, use that time to study or plan. If
you do drive to work listen to a motivational tape on the way to
work..
5. Organize your work; do it systematically.

__________________
__________________
__________________

6. Make creative use of lunchtime.


__________________

7. Delegate authority if, possible.

__________________

8. Spend less time on unimportant phone calls.


9. Think first, and then do the task.

__________________

10. Do what you dream about doing, instead of just dreaming about it.
11. Work hardest when youre the most mentally alert

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 77

Soft Skills & Personality Development

12. Eliminate activities that make the smallest contributions to your


life.
13. Always do the toughest jobs first.

Notes

14. Before each major act ask, Is this really necessary?

__________________

15. Choose interesting and constructive literature for spare time


reading.

__________________

16. Learn how to sleep. Sleep soundly, then work refreshed.


__________________

17.Stop smoking.
18.Write notes or letters while waiting for others.

__________________

19. Always carry an envelope with paper in it and a few stamps.

__________________

20. Combine tasks that are done in the same area.


__________________

21. Be prompt for all appointments.

__________________

22. Lay out your clothes the night before.


23. Call on specialists to do work that you cannot do efficiently

__________________

24. Learn to read more rapidly.


__________________

25. Avoid interruptions.


26. Know your limitations.

__________________

27. Work to your full capacity.

__________________

Dont try to implement all of these ideas at once. Implement them one
at a time and repeat them until they become a part of your daily routine.

__________________

Time Management Matrix

__________________

Time management experts like Stephen Covey has developed a model


called a time management matrix. This model enables managers to
prioritize their activities and use their time more effectively. With the
help of the model, they can evaluate their activities in terms of
importance and urgency.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 78

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Time Management Matrix

Urgent
Quadrant 1

Not Urgent

Notes

Quadrant 2

__________________
Important

Career, Projects,
accidents, etc.

Planning, exercise,
relationships, etc.

__________________
__________________
Quadrant 3

Quadrant 4

__________________
__________________

Not
Important

Phone calls, visitors,


small talk, etc.

__________________

Daydreaming, TV,
procrastination, etc.

__________________
__________________

Tasks can be categorized as urgent/ not urgent or as important/ not


important as shown below. Each of your activities can be distinguished
as one of four types, represented by the four quadrants of the time
management matrix. Categorizing your activities in these quadrants
helps you identify what is important and avoid unimportant tasks and
activities. It also helps him prioritize important tasks and activities.

__________________
__________________
__________________

The activities in Quadrant 1 are both important and urgent. These


include deadline-driven tasks and important daily chores. The results of
operating in this Quadrant are stress, burnout and crisis management

__________________
__________________

The activities in Quadrant 2 are important but not urgent. These


activities are characterized as preparation, planning, crisis prevention,
and deadline-avoiding tasks. Operating in this Quadrant will mean a
manager having a proper perspective, vision, balance, discipline,
control and few crises.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 79

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The activities in Quadrant 3 are not important but urgently press upon
us and interrupt our more important activities. These include
responding to drop-in visitors, phone calls, meetings, and mail that do
not increase productivity and effectiveness. Operating in this Quadrant
will mean short-term focus, crisis management, worthlessness of goals
and plans, feeling of victimization and broken relationships.

Notes
__________________

The activities in Quadrant 4 are neither important nor urgent.


Busywork, time wasters, junk mail, and some phone calls are the type
of activities that are a part of this quadrant.

__________________

Operating in this Quadrant will mean total irresponsibility and overdependence on others in addition to outcomes in Quadrant 3.

__________________

From a study of the Time Management Matrix, the following


observations can be made:

__________________

1. Activities in Quadrant I and Quadrant II may be equally important.


Some activities in
Quadrant II may even be more important than activities in Quadrant I,
but not necessarily more urgent.
2. Activities in Quadrant I assume critical importance and top priority.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

3. Spending most of the time on Activities in Quadrant I results in


stress and burnout.

__________________

4. Focusing on activities in Quadrant II can reduce the activities in


Quadrant I, in the long run.

__________________

5. Focusing on activities in Quadrant II will mean avoiding all


unimportant activities in Quadrant III and IV.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 80

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Analyzing The Daily Time Log


Take a few moments to analyze your results. This analysis will give you a
clear picture on how you spend your time and how you can improve.

Notes
__________________

1. Did you have a plan for each day with clear priorities in writing?
2. Were you doing the right job at the right time?
What did you do that should not have been done at all?
Could it have been done more effectively at another time?
Could it have been delegated? If so, to whom can it be delegated?
3. What could be done in a better way?
Faster
More simply
In less detail
With better results
4. Concerning interruptions:
How are you interrupted (phone, visitors, meetings, crises, self, boss,
clients)?
How often are you interrupted?
For how long have you been interrupted?
How important were the interruptions?
How long does it take to recoverto get back on track?
How many interrupted tasks were left unfinished at the end of the day?
5. Concerning contacts/ communications with others:
How important is time spent in accordance with your real priorities?
Who (with the right person) are they?
How often do you spend with them?
How long?

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Elements of Effective Time Management

__________________

Time goes by at the same rate no matter what one does. One cannot
speed it up or slow it down. Unlike the other resources that one
manages, there is no way to control time. The best one can do is take
charge of oneself in the framework of time, investing oneself in those
things that matter most in ones life.
Effective time management requires reducing the impact of the time
stealers and increasing the effectiveness of a manager in getting the
things done that need to be done. The following are the important
elements that combine to enable a manager eliminate distractions,
interruptions and inefficiencies in the work process to make the most of
time management.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 81

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

A. Evaluating How Time is Used


The first step of effective time management is identifying how a
manager is using his time.

Notes

This can be done by


__________________

I. Activity Time Log: The first step to managing time better is to find
out how managers are currently spending their time. Keeping a Time
Log is a very effective way to do this.
Through an Activity Time Log, you can make a list of the activities or
tasks that they spend time on. The very act of measuring is often
enough to raise their unconscious habits into their consciousness, where
they then have a chance to scrutinize and change them.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 82

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Daily Activity Time Log


Start Time

End Time

Activity Des cription

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Time Log requires that you track all the tasks including the routine
tasks such as commuting, reading a newspaper, eating and attending
telephone etc. - in a systematic way and note the successive sequence
from the start, through the end of the day.
Start Time End Time Activity Description
1. Using the daily log on the worksheet, record your activities for a 24hour period.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 83

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

2. Include the start and end times for each activity.


3. If more space is needed, continue keeping the log on the back or on
another sheet of paper.
Pick activity categories that will encompass the entire day. Label those
below and add up the total time spent on that particular activity
category. Include a miscellaneous category for things that do not fit
well into typical categories. Keeping the Activity Log for several days
helps managers analyze their time and answer questions like:
What is the most productive period of time?

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

What is the least productive time?

__________________

Did they achieve their goals?


How could they have done what they were doing more effectively?

__________________

Activity logs are valuable tools for scrutinizing the way you use your
time. You can also help you to track changes in your energy, alertness
and effectiveness throughout the day. By maximizing their activity log,
they will be able to discover and obviate time wasting or low-yield
jobs. They will also know the times of day at which they are the most
effective, so that they can carry out their most important tasks during
those times.

__________________

Studies reveal that people do a miniscule of real work per day 1.5
hours of actual work per day. The rest of the time is spent socializing,
taking coffee breaks, eating, engaging in non-productive
communication, shuffling papers and other preventable time-wasters.

__________________

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

Analyzing The Daily Time Log


After completing your Daily Time Log, take a few moments to analyze
your results. This analysis will give you a clear picture on how you
spend your time and how you can improve.

__________________
__________________

1. Did you have a plan for each day with clear priorities in writing?
__________________

2. Were you doing the right job at the right time?


__________________

What did you do that should not have been done at all?
Could it have been done more effectively at another time?
Could it have been delegated? If so, to whom can it be delegated?
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 84

Soft Skills & Personality Development

3. What could be done in a better way?


Faster

Notes

More simply
In less detail

__________________

With better results


__________________

4. Concerning interruptions:
How are you interrupted (phone, visitors, meetings, crises, self, boss,
clients)?

__________________
__________________

How often are you interrupted?


For how long have you been interrupted?

__________________

How important were the interruptions?

__________________

How long does it take to recoverto get back on track?


__________________

How many interrupted tasks were left unfinished at the end of the
day?

__________________

5. Concerning contacts/ communications with others:


How important is time spent in accordance with your real priorities?

__________________

Who (with the right person) are they?

__________________

How often do you spend with them?

__________________

How long?
__________________

6. To what extent did you reach your goals?


Based on the analysis of Activity Time Log over some period, it is
possible for you to calculate their daily efficiency ratio. Daily
efficiency ratio is the amount of time spent by you on the work divided
by the total amount of time they spent at work.
Efficiency Ratio = (Time Doing Real Work) / (Time Spent At
Work)
Assuming that you have done only 15 hours of actual productive time
in a week (60 hrs), you Daily Efficiency Ratio is only 25% of the time.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 85

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Getting oriented to manage time


To get ready to manage their time better, managers should answer
the following questions:
What is my time worth? How much do I get paid per hour? If I could
save one hour a day, what would this amount to, in the course of one
year?
What is my job? What results are expected of me? Am I meeting a
predetermined, definable purpose, or am I just drifting?
What have I been doing? At the end of a day, am I able to account for
my time, or do I say to myself, Where did the day go? I dont feel I
have accomplished anything.
Have I been doing the right things? Am I involved in work activities
that rightfully fall under the responsibility of my subordinates? What
are the five most important tasks I have to do?
How am I spending/ investing my time? What results do I see for the
time I spend on each activity? What would happen if some of these
things were not done?
Am I goal-oriented? Am I working toward quantified objectives?
Have I established performance standards for myself? For my people?
Have I done any planning? When I arrive on the job in the morning,
do I know what it is I want to accomplish during that particular day?
Have I established priorities?

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Have I determined a hierarchy of importance?

__________________

Have I tried to manage, schedule, control my work and time? Is the


job running me or am I running the job? Am I suffering from brief
caseitis, i.e., bringing home more and more of my work ?

__________________

Do I delegate all possible tasks? Am I able to hand over more tasks to


my co-workers or staff at work and to my spouse or children at home?

__________________
__________________

Does the time I spend on the job affect my lifestyle? Am I enjoying


life and having fun, or am I so stressed from the pressures of poor time
management on the job that the tension carries over into my everyday
life?

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 86

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

How We Waste Time

Lack of discipline
Indecisiveness
Personal Disorganization
Procrastination
Inability to say NO
Poor Delegation Skills
Day Dreaming
Worry
Inefficiency
Unanticipated interruptions that do not pay off
Procrastination
Unrealistic time estimates
Unnecessary errors
Ineffective meetings
Doing urgent rather than important things
Poor planning and lack of contingency plans
Failure to delegate or delegating without authority
Lack of priorities, standards, policies or procedures
Watching TV in unorganised manner

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Time - Saving Tips: Interruptions

__________________

Close your door

__________________

Distinguish between necessary visits and interruptions


__________________

Use different techniques

__________________

- Visit others
- Arrange appointment

__________________

- Leave your office


__________________

- Establish regular meeting time

Time - Saving Tips: Meetings

__________________

Request agenda

__________________

Arrive early
Notify chair if your will be late

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 87

Soft Skills & Personality Development


Avoid routine, emergency, impromptu meetings
Avoid Monday mornings, Friday afternoons

Notes

Time - Saving Tips: Managing E-mails


Know your systems special features

__________________

List serves
__________________

Same time every day


Use Web services - (examples)

__________________

Conclusion

__________________

Now that we have come towards the end of the chapter we have
realized that how our time gets wasted because we never thought of
managing time in an effective manner. It is said that time and tide waits
for none so our attempts would be to make the best use of time and
prevent others from wasting our time too. This chapter winds up all our
observations on time management in this book. It summarizes as to
what causes us to waste our time and suggests solutions to save time as
much as possible. It also offers tips to make the best use of time. As
with all the precious resources, time is a scarce resource. The wisdom
lies in making the most of it.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Horace Mann says:


Lost, yesterday,

__________________

Somewhere between sunrise and sunset,

__________________

Two golden hours,


__________________

Each set with sixty diamond minutes.

__________________

No reward is offered,
For they are gone forever

__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 88

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Time Tips

1. Count all your time as time to be used and make every attempt to get

Notes

satisfaction out of every moment.


__________________

2. Find something to enjoy in whatever you do.


3. Try to be an optimist and seek out the good in your life.

__________________

4. Find ways to build on your successes.

__________________

5. Stop regretting your failures and start learning from your mistakes.

__________________

6. Continually look at ways of freeing up your time.


7. Examine your old habits and search for ways to change or eliminate
them.

__________________
__________________

8. Examine and revise your lifetime goals on a monthly basis and be


sure to include progress towards those goals on a daily basis.

__________________

9. Put up reminders in your home or office about your goals.


__________________

10. Always keep those long term goals in mind.


11. Plan your day each morning or the night before and set priorities for
yourself.
12. Maintain and develop a list of specific things to be done each day,
set your priorities and then get the most important ones done as soon in
the early part of the day as you can. Evaluate your progress at the end
of the day briefly.
13. Look ahead in your month and try and anticipate what is going to
happen so you can better schedule your time.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

14. Do first things first.


15. Have confidence in yourself and in your judgment of priorities and
stick to them no matter what.

__________________
__________________

16. When you catch yourself procrastinating-ask yourself, What am I


avoiding?
17. Start with the most difficult parts of projects, then either the worst is
done or you may find you dont have to do all the other small tasks.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 89

Soft Skills & Personality Development

18. Catch yourself when you are involved in unproductive projects and
stop as soon as you can.
19. Find time to concentrate on high priority items or activities.

Notes

20. Concentrate on one thing at a time.


21 Push yourself and be persistent, especially when you know you are
doing well.
22. Think on paper when possible-it makes it easier to review and
revise.

__________________
__________________
__________________

23. Be sure and set deadlines for yourself whenever possible.


__________________

24. Delegate responsibilities whenever possible.


__________________

25. Ask for advice when needed.

__________________

Time Management Facts and Figures

__________________

80% of crisis management events are preventable.


One hour of planning will save 10 hours of doing.
Good time managers do not allocate their time to those who
demand it, but rather to those who deserve it.
The most powerful word in our time management vocabulary is
no.
Delegation is an unlimited method to multiply time for
achieving results.
The hardest part about delegation is simply letting go If you
want a job done right, you have to do it yourself.
Nine out of 10 people daydream in meetings.
60% of meeting attendees take notes to appear as if they are
listening.
When someone is asking for our time for a meeting, 80% of the
time there is an alternate date and time that will be acceptable.
The average person gets one interruption every eight minutes, or
approximately seven an hour, or 50-60 per day. The average
interruption takes five minutes, totalling about four hours, or
50% of the average workday. 80% of those interruptions are
typically rated as little value or no value creating
approximately three hours of wasted time per day.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 90

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

20% of the average workday is spent on crucial and


important things, while 80% of the average workday is spent
on things that have little value or no value. In the last 20
years, working time has increased by 15% and leisure time has
decreased by 33%.

Notes

Review Questions

__________________

1. What time-wasters prevent you from getting your work done on a


typical day?

__________________

2. What are the activities lately that you found were ritualistic and
relatively ineffective?

__________________
__________________

3. What are the tasks this week that you found could have been
delegated?

__________________

4. What tasks did you do this week that could have been simplified?
__________________

5. What single activity or habit that wastes your time most?


Subjective Questions
1.
2.
3.
4.

__________________

What are some symptoms of poor time management?


What are eleven time thieves?
What are element of effective time management?
Create a Semester Schedule

__________________
__________________

Record known class assignments including quizzes, tests, projects and


papers. Recording your class assignments from the beginning of the
semester creates a framework for your semester. It lets you know when
you are likely to have high academic demands and when you will have
more flexibility for scheduling pleasurable activities.
Record co-curricular activities including work hours, meetings, social
commitments and out-of-town weekends
Recording co-curricular activities allows you to have a more accurate
picture of how full or open your schedule will be throughout the
semester. These activities are important for providing balance in your
schedule.
It will be important to update you semester schedule
regularly. Assignment due dates change, assignments are added and
activities are planned. Keeping an accurate semester schedule
facilitates the next step of this process, assessing and planning your
weekly workload.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 91

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 8
Notes

Working in Teams

__________________
__________________

INTRODUCTION
In the present day, we are aiming to attain a level of togetherness and
synergy in order to ensure we progress and develop as a team and the
resultant effect of one plus one is more that two. Also in our day-to-day
work we are mostly functioning as a part of or as the leader of a team.
It is very important to note that though as an individual all the members
are capable and good, but, if they do not synergise and perform as a
team, they will fail to attain the goals that are set. Therefore,
Teamwork in our daily life is very important. While individual
brilliance will be there and is important, a collective team work will
give very high and rich dividends in any work that is undertaken.

__________________

In order to achieve absolute cohesiveness, the most basic or


rudimentary requirement is a good team. And in order to have a good
team, we as leaders, need to build an effective team. Thus, the
importance of Team Building.

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________

All of us have been part of a group or a team right from our childhood
days. We have been a member of a group of children in a crche,
member of a group of children on an excursion, a member in the school
quiz or football team, a member of a group of people in a park or
watching a movie, etc. Once we join an organization we become a
member of many groups or teams and in fact, we will have to lead
many teams also. In effect we will be asked to play both roles; that of a
follower and of a leader.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Practically, we might be doing everything the right way but some


insight by way of little theory on Team Building would put us on
stronger and firmer ground and assure us that what we are always doing
the right thing. In the previous paragraph we have seen the use of two
words Group and Team. Let us formally define these two.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 92

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Group
Definition. A collection of individuals whose existence as a
collection is rewarding to the individual. The members do not have to
share common goals.
Among groups there are two types, Formal and Informal Groups. In
Formal groups, we have Group of Ministers studying the prices of
petroleum products etc. In informal groups we have interest groups or
friendship groups etc. Examples of these are a group of people on a
fishing trip or a group of people belonging to a college/ similar interests
and so on.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

It can be seen from the definition that in a group, the collection of


people is general; they need not have anything in common. The
individual may benefit by being a part of the group but the presence or
absence of the individual will not make a difference to the group.

__________________
__________________

Team
__________________

Definition. A small number of people with complementary skills


(the importance and difference of complimentary and
complementary needs emphasis and clear understanding at this
point). In a team the people are committed to a common purpose,
performance goals and approach, for which they hold themselves
mutually accountable.
In order to better understand this definition, let us break it down further.
(a) Small Number.
The minimum number of persons
required to form a team is two. The maximum number of
people in a team will be about 10 to 12. If the number is more it
will generally break down into several teams of smaller sizes,
but the strength will essentially be restricted to less than12. One
exception to this is the Kerala Boat Race Team.
(b) Complimentary Skills.
The skills of each member of the
team maybe different but they need to be complementary so as
to enable the members to work as a team and achieve the goal.
As an example in a team working together to ensure efficient
functioning of any organization- the marketing, sales, public
relations, customer care and administrative heads. Their skills
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 93

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

are different but complementary so as to achieve the common


goal.
(c) Goals.
The team should be committed to common
purpose and performance goals. The aim and purpose of the
team should be one and should be very clear. There should be
no variance in the minds of the members as to what they have to
achieve.
(d) Common Approach.
The approach of the team in
achieving the goal, that has been set, has to be common. The
team should agree on the specifics of work and how it fits
together in the overall scheme of things. This lies at the heart of
shaping a common approach.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

(e) Mutual Accountability.


Other than the individual being
responsible to him, it is very important that each member is
accountable to rest of the team, i.e. they are mutually
accountable to each other. Team accountability is about the
genuine and sincere promises we make to others and ourselves,
in other words, commitment and trust.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Group Vs Team
__________________

Having seen separately, what a Group and a Team are, let us see their
differences.
(a)
Synergy.
In a group the members pull in different
directions whereas in a team they are integrated and when they
work they move in a unified direction. In other words, the
synergy in a group is at best neutral or sometimes negative, but
in a team it is always positive.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

(b)
Accountability.
In a group, as brought out earlier,
the accountability of the individual is to himself and not to the
group whereas in a team each member is accountable to the
other and they are committed to each other.
(c)
Skills.
In a group the skills of individuals are
varied and random, whereas, in a team though the skills of
individuals are different, they are complimentary.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 94

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

STAGES OF TEAM BUILDING


For a team to be effective and achieve its aim, the synergy has to be
positive, the skills complementary and each member has to be
accountable to the rest of the team. However, once the members of the
team have been nominated there are certain stages of Team Building
that they go through before they can achieve the desired goal set. There
are five stages in all and those are:
(a)

Notes
__________________
__________________

Forming
__________________

(b)

Storming

(c)

Norming

(d)

Performing

(e)

Adjourning

__________________
__________________
__________________

Forming
The first stage of team building is Forming. This is the stage where the
team members meet and get to know each other. After formal
introductions each of them study the others in silence. Also, the leader
apprises the team of the task that is set for them and the desired
outcome of the project.
The desired outcome at the end of this stage is that all the members
should accept each other and also accept the task. This is easier said
than done, so it naturally leads to the next stage.
Storming

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

The second stage is Storming. This stage is very important. This is


the stage where there is conflict over the teams purpose, process and
leadership. Every individual has his/her say and would like to follow
his/ her line of thinking. Members become hostile dropping their initial
cordial behaviour. Team members disagree on how work will be done,
division of task timetable etc. Some of them may get disillusioned and
question the viability of the project itself.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 95

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

This is the stage where the leader has to take charge and ensure that the
team does not disintegrate. Along with the leader, the team members
also need to pitch in to stem and reverse the downslide. This stage is
very important because this is when all the members should
communicate openly and sort out all the differences, ensuring that they
do not come up at a later and more crucial stage.
The desired outcome at the end of this stage would be development of
open communication channels, identification of primary roles and
further clarification of task, if required. It should be ensured that all the
differences are brought out in the open and ironed out.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Norming

__________________

The third stage after Storming is Norming. This stage is characterized


by cooperation and communication. This is the stage that the team
makes a road map as to how they will go about their task. The team
decides on the norms of working and set guidelines, which include:

__________________
__________________
__________________

(a)

Meeting time, location and duration

(b)

Format and procedure to be adopted

(c)

Individual roles. Responsibilities of individual tasks are


assigned

__________________
__________________

This stage is also marked by normalization of communication. Team


members have more productive and open discussions. There is
camaraderie and channels of communication are formalized. The
desired outcome at this stage would be:
(a)

Normalised communication

(b)

Members set norms

(c)

Individual roles are clarified

(d)

Tasks and responsibilities are assigned

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Page 96

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Performing
The fourth stage of team building is Performing. This is the stage
where the team really takes off. This stage is characterized by:
(a)

Synergy, focus on task and achievement of goals.

Notes
__________________

(b)
The team becomes cohesive and members develop
interpersonal relationships.
(c)
Problems are solved through consensus and in case
required, the norms are changed/ varied in order to achieve the
task.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Adjourning
The fifth and the final stage of Team Building is Adjourning. Having
achieved the task it was formed for, the team disbands and this stage is
characterized by the concern for wrapping up the activities.

__________________

Resistance to Teams

__________________

A team once formed, irons out its differences, sets the norms and goes
about performing its task. However, it is not always that the going is
smooth. There will be hiccups and hold ups from time to time. It is
the duty of the leader and his members to recognize these and eliminate
them if they are to succeed as a team. The following are the resistances
that the team should endeavor to overcome:

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

(a)
Loners.
These are individuals who are not
concerned with the activities of the team. They keep to
themselves and do not take interest or initiative to contribute to
the team performance. It is the primary duty of the leader to
recognize the capabilities of such individuals and draw them out
so they can add to the team performance. It is also the duty of
the other team members to help the leader to draw out such
loners.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 97

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

(b)
Individual Characteristics.
There are certain
characteristics in each individual that are very prominent.
Those at times can hamper the functioning of the team. Given
below are a few of them:
(i)
Aggressor. He deflates the status of others.
Makes fun of individuals or the team as such.
(ii)
Blocker. Brings to the fore issues, which have
been discussed and sorted out earlier. Hinders and
hampers progress.
(iii) Recognition Seeker. Would like to do only jobs
that put him in the limelight, even if he is not capable of
the job.
(iv)
Dominator. Influences others to his way of
working. He wants them to perform, as he desires.
(v)
Help Seeker. Always asking for help from
others, thereby overloading/disturbing the other team
members.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

(c)

Inability to Confront and Resolve Conflicts


Inability of the team and its members to communicate
openly and honestly and the inability to confront differences and
resolve conflict will be the major resistance. Both these points
are interlinked. Unless the members are open and honest to
each other, they will not be able to confront differences and
resolve them amicably.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

New Member Joining the Team

__________________

It often happens that halfway through the task, one or more of the team
members may change or a new member may join the team. In such
circumstances, the team undergoes all the five stages of team building
again, starting with re-forming followed by the other four stages. It is
incumbent on the part of the leader as well as the other team members
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 98

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

that they welcome the new member, make him feel a part of the team
and explain to him the various norms, goals etc. set by the team.
There have been and there will be instances when the new member
happens to be the team leader. In such cases also all the stages of Team
Building will follow, however, it is more difficult for the leader as he
has to learn about the task of the team and also lead it. Therefore, it is
very important that all the team members pitch in and make the
transition easier for the leader. The leader on his part should not go
about ordering and changing things straight away. He should wait and
watch and in case there is a requirement for change, only then he
should bring in a change. This change should be gradual and should be
implemented after taking the whole team into confidence and
convincing them.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Characteristics of Team Members


There are certain characteristics that are required amongst the team
members to be effective in their functioning. The team members
should:

__________________
__________________

(a)

Understand and be committed to the team goals.

__________________

(b)

Be friendly, concerned and interested in others.

__________________

(c)

Acknowledge and confront conflict openly.

(d)

Listen to others with understanding.

(e)

Include others in the decision making process.

__________________

(f)

Recognise and respect individual differences.

__________________

(g)

Contribute ideas and solutions.

(h)

Value ideas and contribution of others.

(j)

Recognise and reward team efforts.

(k)

Encourage and appreciate comments about team


performance.

__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________

Page 99

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Team Excellence
In order to achieve excellence the team needs to have the following
characteristics: (a)

A clear, elevating and unambiguous goal.

(b)

The team structure should be results driven.

Notes
__________________

(c)
The team members need to be competent; however, we
may not always get the members we want. We should draw out
the best from the available resources.
(d)

The team should be unified in its commitment.

(e)

The work atmosphere should be conducive and positive.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

(f)
The leader needs to set the standards of excellence
required from each member.
(g)

__________________

The leader should be selfless and principled.


__________________

(h)
The leader should strive to get external support and
recognition to the team as and when required.

__________________
__________________

Over and above all the characteristics mentioned in the earlier


paragraph, the most important attribute for excellence in teamwork is
honest and open communication.

__________________

Leading a Team

__________________

As brought out earlier, one of the basic requirements for a team to


achieve its objectives is able, selfless and Principled Leadership/
Transformational Leadership. It is the duty of the leader to keep the
team motivated and focused on fulfilling the requirements and
achieving the goals set. In order to keep the team motivated, the leader
has to: -

__________________

__________________
__________________

(a)

Give the team good working conditions.

(b)

Prioritize the culture to have efficiency in the work


done.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 100

Soft Skills & Personality Development

(c)

Treat each member of the team as an individual.

(d)

Promote the teams identity.

(e)

Ensure that the team has a positive mental attitude.

(f)

Share success and not corner/ fix the person.

Notes
__________________
__________________

At the end of day, the style of leadership has to be Situational


based on the situation, the people and the environment at that point in
time for no single style would work at all times in all situations. There
is no one size fit for all situations and its team members.

__________________
__________________

Conclusion
In every organization, most of the jobs done and results achieved are
the outcome of teamwork. In order that we have excellent teamwork to
achieve the best results, it is very important that we build an effective
team. Towards this, we need to follow the various stages of Team
Building and weed out the resistances that crop up in the teams
functioning. It is very vital that each individual of the team puts in his
best. For this, we require honest and open communication amongst the
members and principled and selfless leadership.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 101

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 9
Notes

Leadership Skills

__________________

Learning Objectives
__________________

Who is a leader & what is leadership?

__________________

Importance of leadership skills today

__________________

Kinds of leaders
Understanding the important characteristics of leadership

__________________
__________________

Various Styles Of Leadership


__________________

Developing Effective Leadership Skills Checklist

__________________

New Trends in Leadership


__________________

Introduction

__________________

Leadership: the art of getting someone else to do something you want


done because he wants to do it.- Dwight D. Eisenhower.
Adapting to change is an essential survival skill today. Our jobs and
situations change as soon as we master them and develop a comfort
zone. There is a shift in the work culture due to globalization. Today
jobs are not only about completing it is also about improving,
enhancing and nurturing as well. There are people who change and
adapt as required and then there are people who need guidance,
direction, support and time to adjust, learn and accept the change. This
is where leaders and their skills are important. To help people make the
required adjustments and also to help them grow in that environment
.In this chapter we would concentrate on who are leaders and what is
leadership .We would know the various kinds of leaders, aspect of
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 102

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

leadership, the styles of leadership some tips that can develop and
enhance leadership skills and some new trends.

Notes

Leader and Leadership

__________________

A leader is a person who has a vision, the commitment to work


towards that vision & the skills to achieve it. A leader is someone
guides, counsels and shows the right direction to his group/team.
Leadership skills is a critical management skills, it is the art of
motivating a group of people towards a common goal.

__________________
__________________

Importance of Leadership Skills


Leadership skills are used in all walks of life. Some of them are:

__________________

For the growth and prosperity of the nation


For organizational development and growth
For self enhancement & empowerment
For parents to enable their children to become productive adults
For teachers to enable the youth to succeed in life

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Kind of Leaders
__________________

There are various kinds of leaders. The field that you excel in and
people start following you is the kind of leader you are. Here are to
name a few:

__________________

Political
In olden times were kings and in todays time the politicians. Akbar the
great & Jawaharlal Nehru are some such examples.

__________________

Activity 1

__________________

List names of at least 2 political personalities who are leaders.


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

__________________

__________________

__________________

Religious
These are leaders of a particular religion that are followed. For e.g.:
Guru Gobind singh for the Sikhs, Jesus Christ

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 103

Soft Skills & Personality Development

List names of at least 2 religious personalities who are leaders.


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

Notes
__________________

Business/Economic
These are the successful people in the business world who have worked
up the ladder and made a name for themselves. An e.g. : Dheeru Bhai
Ambani or JRD Tata.

__________________

List the names of at least 2 business personalities who are leaders.


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

__________________

__________________

__________________
__________________

Social
These work for a social cause which helps the society and its people in
many ways. For e.g.: Florence Nightingale & Mother Teresa
List names of at least 2 social personalities who are leaders.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Sports
These are personalities for whom what they play is a passion. Not only
do they love their game but also work hard towards becoming idols for
promoting a particular sport. They also go on to coach the new
generation. For e.g.: Sachin Tendulkar , Sania Mirza
List names of at least 2 social personalities who are leaders.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Entertainment
These are personalities who excel in various forms of performing art
like, dancing, singing, media, acting etc. They are leaders who become
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 104

Soft Skills & Personality Development

idols and inspire individuals in this field. For e.g.: Amitabh Bacchan,
Lata Mangeshkar
List the names of at least 4 entertainment personalities who are leaders.
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

Notes
__________________

We all have the qualities of being a leader, it is only about at times


developing them and at times enhancing them that is why leaders are
born as well leader are made.
Any individual who shows leadership qualities is a leader. It can be as
simple as your parents. In office it could be your immediate boss, the
company CEO or your team mate.

__________________

Role of a leader

__________________

Since leaders are looked up to by a group of people they have to play an


exceptional role in their lives which would further influence and
motivate them. The activities that a leader has to do on a regular basis
are as follows:
Communicate effectively thereby providing the right direction
Should be able to train, coach & mentor
Recognize and celebrate achievement
Reinforce desired code of conduct
Ability to visualize & plan
Ability to strategize & implement
Effective problem solving & decision making
Sensitive to the groups needs & problems

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Add your own qualities (If Any)


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
______

__________________
__________________
__________________

A good leader is who follows all aspects of leadership and chooses a


leadership style which makes the group not only achieves the required
goal but also nurtures the group/individual towards their own personal
or professional growth

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 105

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Aspects of Leadership
As discussed earlier a good leader is whose approach has all aspects of
leadership. We have divided this in four sections. All these sections
have important characteristics a leader should have.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 1
__________________

There are four categories as represented in the figure above. Let us look
at each one in detail.

__________________

Individual development

__________________

In this section we would look at the various aspects that an individual


needs to have

__________________

1. Self Awareness: It is important to be aware of every aspect


related to you on an intra personal level. This awareness leads to
how an individual acts & represent them in front of
others/group/team. To know your strengths and have the ability
to work on your weaknesses is what being aware of yourself is
all about. Points to be kept in mind while developing yourself
personally is:
a) Confidence: This represents an individuals belief in
themselves. It is very important to have faith in their
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 106

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

ability to guide and develop. High self esteem and


belief is a must.
b) Managing emotions: People usually react
emotionally under stressful situations. Some will
start screaming, some get aggressive, some start
crying, all sorts of emotions are encountered. Being
assertive, calm and composed under stressful
situation leads to better problem solving. As a leader
it is important to manage these not so positive
emotions as it will affect the people around you.
c) Motivating & empowering self: As a leader it is
important to constantly motivate yourself. Learning
from mistakes, seeing the positive in it is important
for self motivation. For self empowerment skill
upgrade in form of a various training programs,
mentoring programs, coaching and seminars is a
constructive path to follow
d) Belief system & core values: Adhering to business
ethics and following the core values of honesty &
integrity are the marks of a successful leadership.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

2. Skill Capability
a) Task Focus: Every task conducted should be result
oriented. These results should match the
organizational goal directly or indirectly. The leader
needs to be focused on the task along with
identifying the resources that he/she would need for
the required outcome. There are times when we
require to complete a task, involving various
departments in an organization.So their benefit needs
to be kept in mind. They need to maintain each
departments interest by maintaining the right
relationships with them to get the job done.
Ownership for the failure or success of a particular
task needs to be taken by the leader and his people.
b) Communication Skills: Effective communicators
turn out to be good motivational leaders. They
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 107

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

usually promote trust and togetherness which


maintains a positive atmosphere even while working
with deadlines. A leader should know the art of
giving constructive feedback which will only further
help in individual development and not
demotivation. Maintaining upbeat, positive body
language along with confidence only enhances a
leaders image. While communicating a leader must
be assertive and not aggressive. Writing business
emails, chats, reports, memos, proposals are all a
part of a leader communication skills.
c) Behavioral Skill: These refer to various inter
personal skills that a leader should display. Walk the
talk is a critical aspect of a leaders personality. Fr
e.g.; If as a leader we preach to be punctual at work,
we should first set an example and follow it and then
expect others to do the same. Meeting project
deadlines and finishing work on time is also a skill
that leaders need to practice. People look up to
leaders for motivation, team spirit, discipline and
creativity. As leaders all these need to be practiced
and upgraded regularly.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

3. Business Leadership
__________________

a) Influencing Strategy: It is important to understand


the people around you, only then can an individual
map/ use his/her strength to get the task completed.
They should have the power to influence people in a
positive way. They should understand how an
opportunist (a worker who looks for opportunity to
prove themselves) can benefit the leaders strategy.
In the same way a strategist (a worker who is good at
planning), a collaborator (a worker who tries to find
the mid way) and a battler (a worker who either
opposes getting influenced or would be a hard
worker who would get influenced to finish the task).
Once these four are understood a leader can
influence them regarding a particular task in an
effective way.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 108

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

b) Managing Complexities: A good leader is always the


one who can look for various solutions to a problem,
can think out of the box, handle co workers egos, can
make a stable decision for the groups benefit and
also handle groups conflict in terms or arguments
and disagreement in a professional manner.
c) Organizational Awareness: A leader should be aware
of the vision and the vision statement of the
organization they are leading/ representing. All tasks
should be aligned to meet the organizational goals.
They should be aware of the market competitors as
well.
d) Managing Change: Usually people have difficulty
adjusting to any organizational change like policies,
work timings etc. Adapting, promoting and
motivation a group towards this change is also one
aspect of business leadership.
e) Outcome Planning/ Strategic thinking: These two
aspects are towards successful business leadership.
Setting SMART goals (Specific, measureable,
achievable, realistic and time bound) for self and the
group is a must. Designing a process/goal oriented
blueprint for achievement and development is an
important part of strategic thinking. Choosing the
right team and using each team members capability
positively towards the desired outcome planning is
required as well.
f) Developing Teams: Designing developmental plans,
cross functional trainings, incentive schemes and
creative growth plans are a few tasks that a leader
should do towards developing their team.
4. Motivational Leadership

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

a) Understanding & developing others: Empathizing


with others, Understanding that all employees are
not the same that they have their own capabilities.
Maintaining a balance between personal and
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 109

Soft Skills & Personality Development

professional life. Using talent and developing precise


growth plans for an individual helps in developing
them further.
b) Inspiring trust & commitment/ Ownership: Leaders
should motivate their group in all possible ways.
They should promote open communication,
ownership to a teaks and commitment towards
completing the task at hand.
c) Creating shared vision: There was a time when
leaders/managers did everything in an autocratic
fashion, which usually meant giving directions and
everyone was to follow them without asking
questions. However today leaders share the vision
with their teams so that they can work together
towards it.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Leadership Styles
Basically, knowing these leadership styles helps us in adopting them in
different situations. Though there could be one predominant leadership
style as a whole for a person, he/she cannot just stick on to a particular
leadership style always. Switching between the leadership styles is
necessary in different project management situations to achieve
success.
Leadership types were determined keeping in mind two major aspects
one is task orientation (work at hand) and Relationship orientation
(Relationship management with peer & subordinates).

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

William Reddin introduced a model of leadership style containing four


basic types namely:

__________________

1. High relationship orientation & high task orientation is called

__________________

as Integrated Type.
2. High relationship orientation & low task orientation is called
as Related Type.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 110

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

3. Low relationship orientation & high task orientation is called


as Dedicated Type.

Notes

4. Low relationship orientation & low task orientation is called


as Separated Type.

__________________
High

Related

Integrated

Task

Separated

Dedicated

Low

Human

__________________

High

Figure 2

__________________
__________________

Further, by measuring the level of effectiveness of each style Reddin


developed this basic model into eight leadership styles.

__________________

Less Effective

Basic types

More Effective

__________________

Deserter

Separated

Bureaucratic

__________________

Missionary

Related

Developer

Autocratic

Dedicated

Benevolent Autocratic

Compromiser

Integrated

Executive

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

There is no right or wrong styles. The selection of these styles depends


on particular factor and those are as follows:

__________________

Individual personality of the leader or the group led

__________________

Time , place & situation


__________________

Frame of mind : Leaders & the groups


__________________

Goals & objectives of the task at hand


Type of commitments required for a task
Rules, law or authority of the leader in that situation
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 111

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Lets understand each style in detail

Separated

Notes

Deserter

Bureaucratic

Hands off or laisser-faire approach

More procedural approach

Avoidance of any situation that would

Perform well in well structured

upset their status

environment with clarity in policies and

__________________
__________________

requirement

__________________

Keep out of the way of superiors and


subordinates

They seem to be rigid and fussy and

__________________

insist on rational system


Avoid change and do not participate in
planning

Not bad as mangers however great

__________________

dependence on rules and procedures


Defensive in nature

__________________

Could be high performer

__________________
Not bad managers but they avoid
challenges

__________________

Related

__________________

Missionary

Developer
__________________

Emphasizes positive work climate

Only express professional interest in


issues thereby providing a platform for

High performers
Sensitive to subordinates needs ,can
become personal thus losing focus
Avoid enforcing control
Find it difficult in denying requests and
giving candid feedback

__________________

nurturing potential

__________________
High scorers and have optimistic beliefs
in peoples way of work

__________________

Sharing of their knowledge with


subordinates and peers
Take pride in discovering and promoting
others

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 112

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Dedicated
Autocratic

Benevolent Autocratic

Directive & controlling

It is still directive in approach and is

Notes

more communicative.
Low on human relationships

__________________
High scorers and enjoy tackling

High performers & formal


No scope for error or deviation from the

operations issues

__________________

Help subordinates with operational issues

__________________

stated task
They reprimand but without hurting
Make decisions for everyone.
Believe in individual responsibility and
not in shared leadership

__________________

them.
Believe in structured work with

__________________

ownership and ignore one on one

Generally disliked by subordinates

relationship.

__________________

Limited communication with people

Take pride in discovering and promoting

__________________

others

__________________
__________________

Integrated
Compromiser

Executive

Appreciates both task & human

Task approach and human relationships

orientation however cannot integrate

in a realistic way.

them.
Willing to compromise in order to meet

__________________

Its a consultative, interactive and

__________________
__________________

problem solving approach

__________________

work pressures
Favours teamwork and keep all aspects
Reality consideration stands in the way

__________________

in mind

thereby delay in action for whatever


reasons.

Stimulate communication, trust and


appreciates new ideas.

Realistic assessments do not let them


use the executive

Good motivators who are open to


conflict resolution and ownership

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 113

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Developing Leadership Checklist

Be open to learning & improving

Listen Actively

Communicate Effectively

Be a peoples person

Manage intra personal communication

Look for the right opportunity

Develop a desire to succeed

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Add your points


_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

Summary
In this chapter we have understood how important leaders are, the various
styles and aspects of leadership. As already discussed leaders are born and can
be made as well. Each one of us is a leader in our own way all we need to do
is to discover it and determine the style that we practice. It is important to
switch between styles for higher managerial effectiveness. Leadership is an
important skill that the organizations look for while hiring an individual.

__________________

Review Questions

__________________

Objective questions (Fill in the blank/ multiple choice/


True or False/ one line answer)

__________________

1. Leadership skills is the art of motivating a group of people


towards a common goal.( True/False)
2. Which quality should not be there in a leader?
Responsible
Goal oriented
Aggressive
Confident

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

Page 114

Soft Skills & Personality Development

3. The four basic types of leadership are _______________,


_________, ________ and ________.
4. Executive style is a preferred style of leadership.(True/False).
5. Leadership is a skill that people are born with and cannot be
developed.( True/False)
6. Name any three roles of a leaders: ___________,
_____________ & ________________.

Notes
__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)


__________________

1. What is the importance of leadership skills in professional life?


2. Explain at least four styles of leadership in your own words with
examples?

__________________
__________________

3. Write in not more that 150 words what is your understanding of


leaders & leadership skills are and what are the things that you
would do to develop leadership skills?

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 115

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 10
Notes

Assertive Communication

__________________

Learning Objectives
Assertiveness & Importance

__________________

Understanding the four types of communication Style

__________________

What are the causes & the effects of non assertive behaviour
How to say NO politely and still maintain your relationships

__________________

Understanding some popular assertiveness techniques

__________________

Developing assertive communication checklist

__________________
__________________

Introduction
__________________

Communication is the key to all successful relationships be it


professional or personal. Effective communication is what
organizations look for today which primarily means that the message
sent is understood properly. Another aspect of communication which is
important is assertiveness while communicating. This majorly relates to
a person behavior which reflects in the way he communicates with
others. Assertive communication is definitely the recommended style
for successful leaders, managers and work force. In this chapter we
would understand assertive communication in detail by first
understanding what assertiveness is and why is it important along with
the four styles of communication and then understand a few techniques
of saying NO politely.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Assertiveness & Importance


Assertiveness is a mode of communication where you are able to
express your views, thoughts and opinions with confidence and at the
same time respecting others point of view as well.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 116

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Assertive communication is important in every walk of life. You can


use it personally with friends & family and professionally with your
peers, subordinates, bosses & clients while negotiating business, giving
feedback, while facing criticism and even when you are angry.
This form of communication empowers you with self confidence,
leadership qualities & teamwork skills. It helps in building trust and
open communication with others. It not only make you respect others
point of view but also makes other respect your views and ideas.

Notes
__________________
__________________

Communication Styles
__________________

The way people communicate reflects their behavior. There are four
types of communication styles and we need to understand these to
understand why a person talks the way they do.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 1
Passive Aggressive

__________________

They believe in neither mine nor your ideas count. They are
manipulative people and would follow people who will benefit

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 117

Soft Skills & Personality Development

them in some way. This is a style in which individuals appear


passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle,
indirect, or behind-the-scenes way.
People who develop a pattern of passive-aggressive communication
usually feel powerless, stuck, and resentful in other words, they
feel incapable of dealing directly with the object of their
resentments. Instead, they express their anger by subtly
undermining the object (real or imagined) of their resentments.
They smile at you while setting booby traps all around you

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Their belief is I lose and you lose too. Other characteristic are:
Goal achievement only after deadlines are crossed

__________________

They blame the other person for their own mistakes


Listening is important to them only if it is for their benefit

__________________

Confident when they are aggressive

__________________

Unpredictable

__________________

Its your fault


__________________

Add your own views:


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
Passive

__________________
__________________
__________________

They believe in your right counts mine do not. Whatever you are saying
is correct and I am wrong. For them it is also I lose you win situation.
They have certain other characteristics as well.

__________________
__________________

Mottoes and Beliefs

__________________

"Don't express your true feelings."

__________________

"Don't make waves."


"Don't disagree."
"Others have more rights than I do.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 118

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Communication Style
Indirect
Always agrees

Notes

Doesn't speak up

__________________

Hesitant

__________________

Characteristics
Apologetic, self-conscious

__________________

Trusts others, but not self


__________________

Doesn't express own wants and feelings


Allows others to make decisions for self

__________________

Doesn't get what he or she wants

__________________
__________________

Outward Behavior
__________________

Sighs a lot
Tries to sit on both sides of the fence to avoid conflict

__________________

Clams up when feeling treated unfairly

__________________

Asks permission unnecessarily

__________________

Complains instead of taking action


__________________

Lets others make choices


Has difficulty in implementing plans

__________________

Self-effacing

__________________

Nonverbal Cues
__________________

Fidgets
Nods head often; comes across as pleading
Lack of facial animation
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 119

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Smiles and nods in agreement


Downcast eyes
Slumped posture

Notes

Low volume, meek

__________________

Up talk
Fast, when anxious; slow, hesitant, when doubtful
Verbal Cues

__________________
__________________

"You should do it."


__________________

"You have more experience than I do."


"I can't......"

__________________

"This is probably wrong, but..."

__________________

"I'll try..."

__________________

Monotone, low energy


__________________

Confrontation and Problem Solving


Avoids, ignores, leaves, postpones

__________________

Withdraws, is sullen and silent

__________________

Agrees externally, while disagreeing internally

__________________

Expends energy to avoid conflicts that are anxiety


provoking

__________________

Spends too much time asking for advice, supervision


__________________

Agrees too often


__________________
__________________

Add your own views


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 120

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Aggressive
They believe in only my rights count not yours. They are absolutely
opposite of passive. They are hot blooded, get angry at the drop of a
hat, quarrelsome. For them it is I win and you lose situation. They
usually get into physical fights easily and verbal fights as well. Other
characteristics are:

Notes
__________________
__________________

Mottos and Beliefs


__________________

"Everyone should be like me."


"I am never wrong."

__________________

"I've got rights, but you don't.

__________________

Communication Style

__________________

Close minded
__________________

Poor listener
Has difficulty seeing the other person's point of view
Interrupts

__________________
__________________

Monopolizing
__________________

Characteristics
Achieves goals, often at others' expense

__________________

Domineering, bullying

__________________

Patronizing

__________________

Condescending, sarcastic
__________________

Behavior

__________________

Puts others down


Doesn't ever think they are wrong
Bossy
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 121

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Moves into people's space, overpowers


Jumps on others, pushes people around
Know-it-all attitude

Notes

Doesn't show appreciation

__________________

Nonverbal Cues
Points, shakes finger

__________________

Frowns

__________________

Squints eyes critically


__________________

Glares
Stares

__________________

Rigid posture

__________________

Critical, loud, yelling tone of voice

__________________

Fast, clipped speech


__________________

Verbal Cues
"You ought to better."

__________________

"Don't ask why. Just do it."

__________________

Verbal abuse

__________________

Confrontation and Problem Solving


__________________

Must win arguments, threatens, attacks


Operates from win/lose position

__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 122

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Add your own views


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

Assertive

Notes
__________________

This is the ideal way to be. They believe in a winwin situation. I win
and you win too. They are upbeat and positive people with good
interpersonal skills. They say no without hurting, some other
characteristics are:

__________________
__________________
__________________

Mottoes and Beliefs


__________________

Believes self and others are valuable


Knowing that assertiveness doesn't mean you always
win, but that you handled the situation as effectively as
possible

__________________
__________________

"I have rights and so do others."


__________________

Communication Style
__________________

Effective, active listener


States limits, expectations

__________________

States observations, no labels or judgments

__________________

Expresses self directly, honestly, and as soon as possible


about feelings and wants
Checks on others feelings

__________________
__________________

Characteristics
__________________

Non-judgmental

__________________

Observes behavior rather than labeling it


Trusts self and others
Confident
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 123

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Self-aware
Open, flexible, versatile
Playful, sense of humor

Notes

Decisive

__________________

Proactive, initiating

__________________

Behavior
Operates from choice

__________________

Knows what it is needed and develops a plan to get it


__________________

Action-oriented
Firm

__________________

Realistic in her expectations

__________________

Fair, just

__________________

Consistent
Takes appropriate action toward getting what she wants
without denying rights of others

__________________
__________________

Nonverbal Cues
__________________

Open, natural gestures


Attentive, interested facial expression

__________________

Direct eye contact

__________________

Confident or relaxed posture


__________________

Vocal volume appropriate, expressive


__________________

Varied rate of speech

__________________

Verbal Cues
"I choose to..."
"What are my options?"
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 124

Soft Skills & Personality Development

"What alternatives do we have?"


Confrontation and Problem Solving
Negotiates, bargains, trades off, compromises

Notes

Confronts problems at the time they happen

__________________

Doesn't let negative feelings build up

__________________

Feelings Felt
Enthusiasm

__________________

Well being
__________________

Even tempered
__________________

Effects
Increased self-esteem and self-confidence

__________________

Increased self-esteem of others

__________________

Feels motivated and understood


__________________

Others know where they stand


Add your own views

__________________

_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

__________________
__________________

Non assertive Behavior


__________________

The behavior is not a very healthy behavior. There are various causes
for this sort of behavior and those are:
Family values & Beliefs: Majorly parents tell their children not
to fight, to listen to others and not to reply back. This get
embedded in us as you grow older and you use the same values
system thinking it would work like it does at home however
when this happens at work people lose their confidence and
retrieve in their own shell or fight with others.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 125

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Personal experience: As you go through the process of

growing up we face varied situations and react in varied ways.


You will also learn from people around us and how certain
behaviors work for them and try copy them same least realizing
that it may or may not work
Environment: Peer pressure that you have when we are

growing contributes a lot the way you behave. Students usually


start unhealthy habits like smoking or drinking because they are
not assertive enough to say no, they give in because it is fashion
or the other person is physically stronger.
Lack of social skills: When we are growing up the only people

we interact is with teachers, family and friends. Sometime this


behavior emerges when we do not know how to react in a
particular environment as you have not been exposed to it. You
have not met enough people so you do not know how to behave
thereby making you lose confidence
Cultural Differences: This plays an important part in our

upbringing and therefore also in our behavior. People from the


west are usually more assertive that people from the east due to
the way they live etc. A patriarchal society by default makes
women non assertive culturally.
Non assertive behavior whether passive or aggressive can work at
times for you but not always. Those times can be:

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

when an issue is really minor;


when the problems caused by the conflict are greater than the
conflict itself;

__________________
__________________

when emotions are running high and it makes sense to take a


break in order to calm down and regain perspective;
when your power is much lower than the other party's;

__________________

When the other's position is impossible to change for all


practical purposes (i.e., government policies, etc.)
when a decision has to be made quickly;
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 126

Soft Skills & Personality Development

during emergencies;

Impact
Non assertive behaviour leads to behavioural changes and health
hazards. Those are:
Depression: From anger turned inward, a sense of being
helpless, hopeless, with no control over your life.

Notes
__________________
__________________

Resentment: Anger at others for manipulating or taking


advantage of you.

__________________

Frustration: How could I be such a wimp? Why did I let


someone victimize me?

__________________

Temper/Violence: If you cant express anger appropriately, it


builds up until it blows.
Anxiety which leads to avoidance.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Poor relationships of all kinds. Non-assertive people are often


unable to express emotions of any kind, negative or positive.

__________________

Physical complaints: Headaches, ulcers, etc.

__________________

Low Self Esteem & Confidence

__________________

Add your own views


__________________

_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

Art of saying NO

__________________
__________________

Its a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too
many commitments you simply spread yourself too thin and will not
be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. There is an art
to saying no; maybe there is some science there as well. The most
important thing to do is to draw the boundaries clearly and say no when
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 127

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

they are breached. This applies equally when defining the scope of
work to be done; setting limits in interpersonal relationships; setting
expectations of rewards; and many more situations. Here are six steps
to evaluate a situation before saying a direct NO:
Ask yourself Do I want this or am I trying to please
someone else? If I agree to do this will it reward me or
become a problem?

Notes
__________________
__________________

Think it over and give yourself time to evaluate the request.


__________________

Look for clues like hesitation, nervous or trapped feeling


due to the request made
Allow for discussions of ideas and differences of opinions.

__________________
__________________

Focus on the problem at hand and not the person.


__________________

There are certain tips that need to be kept in mind as well after the
evaluation is complete and those are:
Be calm and firm

__________________
__________________

Look for alternate solutions if you are refusing


__________________

Value your time


Practice saying no

__________________

Do not apologize for refusing. For e.g.: I am sorry but I will not
be able to do it. Instead say I understand this is important
however I have prior commitments so I will be unable to
complete the task.

__________________

Maybe later. If this is an option that youd like to keep open,


instead of just shutting the door on the person, its often better
to just say, This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I
just dont have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could
check back with me in [give a time frame].

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 128

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Assertiveness Techniques-Here are some techniques that can be


used.

Notes

Technique

Explanation

Broken Record

Keep repeating your point, using a low level,


pleasant voice. Do not get involved in an
argument while explaining yourself

Fogging

This is a way to deflect negative, manipulative


criticism. You agree with some of the fact, but
retain the right to choose your behavior.

Defusing

Letting someone cool down before discussing an


issue. Lets talk about this later

Summarizing
Specificity

This helps to make sure you understand the other


person. So what you are saying is.....
Its really important to be clear about what you
want done The thing is that I really wish you
would complete the report by 5 pm.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Feedback

Do not use negative statements. Be firm. Always


start with the positives of what the persons done
good and then go on to areas they can improve
upon in an assertive manner.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Add your own views


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
__________________________________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 129

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Developing Assertive Communication Checklist


Assertive Communication can be developed by following the various steps:

Notes

Figure 2

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Add your own power phrases (If Any)


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

Summary
In this chapter we have understood how importance of assertive
communication are, the various communication styles, causes of non assertive
communication, Various techniques and how to develop this skill
professionally and personally. Assertive communication is important in this
era of globalization. It is an important skill to develop for maintaining
interpersonal relationship in all walks of life.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 130

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Review Questions
Objective questions (Fill in the blank/ multiple choice/ True or
False/ one line answer)

Notes

1. It is important to project either be aggressive or passive while


dealing with people .( True/False)

__________________

2. Which quality should not be there in an assertive


communicator?

__________________
__________________

Open mindedness

__________________

Goal oriented
Manipulative

__________________

Confident
__________________

3. The four types of communication style are _______________,


_________, ________ and ________.

__________________

4. It is okay to refuse rudely when you are not able to help them.
(True/False).

__________________

5. Using the I statement is a must in assertive communication.


( True/False)

__________________

6. Name any three techniques of assertiveness ___________,


_____________ & ________________.

__________________
__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)


1. What is the importance of assertive communication life?

__________________

2. Explain at least four styles of communication in your own


words with examples?

__________________

3. Explain the causes and effects of non assertive


communications?

__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 131

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 11
Presentation Skills

Notes
__________________

Learning Objectives

__________________

Understanding what is a presentation & its importance


Understanding the structure of a Presentation

__________________

Awareness of presentation errors that are committed & the


impact caused

__________________

Awareness of some common practices for overcoming


nervousness

__________________

Awareness points to be kept in mind while designing a power


point presentation

__________________

Practicing the checklist for delivering a polished presentation.

__________________
__________________

Introduction

__________________

Presentation skills are one of the first managerial skills that a junior
engineer must acquire.- Said by Dr. Gerard. M. Blair Hardware
Design Engineer at Hewlett Packard USA- Former lecturer of
Electrical Engineering at the University of Edinburgh. Presentation
skills are required because it is considered as one of most effective
methods to get things done through other people or it is a way in
which one can express themselves in front of other people. It could be
done in a formal environment which is at work/client site or it could
be done in an informal environment which could be planning a trip
with a group of friends etc. A Presentation can be as much fun as the
presenters want it to be, it usually has a central idea, topic or theme.
In this chapter we would concentrate on what presentation are all
about along with the reasons for bad presentations, some common
practices to overcome nervousness while presenting & tips to
remember before & while delivering a polished presentation.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 132

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

What is a Presentation?
Presentation is a way of communicating ideas, thoughts, fact and
figures of a company or a topic with a group of people. It carries the
speakers personality and allows immediate interaction with a group
of people.
There are two parties involved in a presentation. First is the presenter
or the speaker who is delivers a speech or a visual presentation on
the topic. Second is the audience a group of people who are seated
there to listen, do, grasp & ask questions if required on the same
topic. A presentation could be from 10 minutes to a few hours
depending on the topic and the requirement.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

What is the importance of a Presentation?

__________________

Presentations are used in the corporate for:


1. Induction purposes To welcome new staff.
2. Training & Development Purpose Process & Behavioral.
3. For increases in sales.
4. To discuss the companys aspiration and future goals.
5. Job interviews/Promotions
6. Conducting effective meetings

__________________

Presentations are used in colleges during:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Speech events
__________________

Seminars & symposiums


Group discussions

__________________

College festival events.

__________________

To build self confidence and enhance overall development


__________________

The Speech Sandwich:


A good presentation has useful information, logical structure, should
be interesting/well prepared and a well groomed confident presenter.
The speech sandwich talks about the important aspects of
presentations which are
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 133

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Introduction/Opening: This is where a presenter sets a context


and introduces the agenda of the presentation. The presenter
tells the audience what he/she is going to tell them.
Body: The most important part where the content of the
presentation is brought forward to the audience in the form of
speech, visual presentation, various activities or an
amalgamation of all the above. This needs to be interesting as it
is the crux of a presentation.
Close: The end of the presentation where the recap of what has
been told is done & also the audience can ask the presenter any
questions related to the presentation if required.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 1

Presentation Errors

__________________

Presentations are conducted at various places and for various reasons.


Sometimes the audience is known sometimes unknown. Whichever
maybe the case there are times when presenters make come common
mistakes which could cause their presentations to be ineffective or
boring. Some of those Mistakes are:

__________________
__________________
__________________

Lack of Preparation/No focus


__________________

Reaching late
Not knowing the audience
Too much content
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 134

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Inappropriate Humor
Negative Body Language

Notes

No relationship Building with the audience


Use of monotone

__________________

Offering weak evidence


__________________

Using visual aid if any in effectively

__________________

Impact
The above mentioned reasons impact the presenter and the audience
in various ways and those are:
Non Participation of the audience as they are bored or cannot
understand or do not want to be there.
Thought process is lost and the presenter is unable to speak in
front of the audience.
Tell a joke and nobody laughs as they have not understood it:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Presenters nervousness cause negative impression: Tripping

over wires, Stammering, Sweating, Biting nails, talking too fast,


fidgeting, and no eye contact.

__________________

Overcoming Nervousness Some Practices

__________________

Some people believe that a little nervousness before a presentation is


a must as it keeps the presenter alert & stops them from being over
confident. Nervousness is looked upon as a huge reason for failure.
Sometimes it is also used as an excuse for non performance. There
are a few practices that people adopt to overcome nervousness and
those are:

__________________

Prepare & Practice: Attend as many presentations as you can


and observe the presenters. Prepare your presentation well. It
should have the right content and should to be precise and
interesting. Practice in front of friends and colleagues and ask
for feedback and improve. A well prepared presenter shall not
be nervous as he knows his presentation well.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 135

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Listen to soothing music to calm your nerves.


Interact & meet the audience or some people from the audience
if you can to feel comfortable and to get a sense of what they
are looking for.

Notes

Drink a glass of cold water so that your mouth is not dry and
breathe deeply at least 3 -4 times

__________________

Use gestures, smile and greet the audience and draw your
energy from their interaction.

__________________
__________________

Power point Presentation Tips


Power point presentations are used as a base for the presentation. They
should be used to make your presentation more powerful. Power point
should be used to emphasize or a summary to what you are saying.
When designing slides for a presentation, consider that less is better.
There are rules for proper visual design that should be adhered to by
person building slides on the computer. Pay attention to these rules and
you will not end up with an unprofessional look and information
overload. The rules are:
Rule of six: You should always have meaningful slide titles.
Ideally you should not have more than six bullet points with not
more than six words on a slide. You should not have more than
six slides if in details then not more than twelve slides. There
should also be six data points while using charts or columns and
rows as it makes it clear to read and understand.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Visual Aid: Keep your sentences short & simple and large and
legible. Use the right light and the right screens for projecting
you power point. Cartoons, clipart and pictures should make
sense.
Use of color: Not more than 4 colors on a slide. Make sure that
the colors used for text can be viewed easily. Usually it is light
background with dark text. No red color for text as it shows
passion. Use earthy tones for back ground/themes. Black, white,

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 136

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

grey, blue are colors which are acceptable but again it depends
on the theme or the back ground color.
Use of text: Arial, Times new roman are preferred. Do not use
more than 2 font type in a slide. Use UPPERCASE only for
emphasis and not one very slide. It could be used for titles. Use
short titles. Font sizes from 12 to 20 are ok depending on the
slide. Use same font throughout the presentation.

A polished presentation Checklist:

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Here are a few tips to keep in mind before & while presenting:
__________________

Prepare & practice


Observe & Listen to the question asked

__________________

Answer the question to the best of your knowledge

__________________

Maintain positive body language & eye contact


__________________

Think before you speak


Invite audience to participate

__________________

Do not use too much make up or wear bright colors or


uncomfortable footwear.

__________________

Be clear, precise and to the point.

__________________

Make sure all your logistics like microphone, projectors etc are
well in place before the presentation.

__________________

The room temperature should be comfortable for the audience.

__________________

Reach at least 30 minutes early and get comfortable with the


surrounding.

__________________

Use short titles and dark print on a light background for visual
power point presentations.

__________________

Avoid Jargons, short forms, aggression, high pitched voice,


excessive gestures & talking too fast.

__________________

Memorize the concept not the script. Keep all the required
material for the presentation in a bag the night before.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 137

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Wait for the audience to become silent before you start your
presentation or if required request them gently to be seated and
maintain silence.

Notes

Use humor only if you are good with it.


If asked a question which you do not know the answer for make
a note of it and tell the participant that you will get back to them
within a stipulated time.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Add you own point


_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

__________________

Figure 2

__________________

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Summary

__________________

Presentation skills are considered one of the most important skills that
a candidate should have whether at a graduate or a post graduate. The
success quotient of the presentation and the presenter depends on the
structure and delivery of the presentation. The presenter should show
interest & focus while delivering a presentation. They should use
positive body language and be precise & to the point. Comfort with
logistics, audience, topic and confidence in self leads to an excellent
display of presentation skills while delivering a presentation.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 138

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Review Questions
Objective questions (Fill in the blank/ multiple choice/ True or False/ one line
answer)

Notes

1. Presentation skills are not a must in the corporate today.


( True/False)

__________________

2. What mistakes should not be made while presenting?

__________________

a. Well prepared presentation

__________________

b. Excessive use of hand gestures


__________________

c. Audience participation

__________________

d. Be confident and comfortable


3. The speech sandwich has 3 parts. Those are _________,
________ and ________.

__________________

4. Presenter should wear heavy perfume and makeup while


presenting. (True/False).

__________________

5. Use of monotone, high pitched voices and aggression is an


important part of a good presentation.( True/False)

__________________

6. The three reasons why presentation skills are important in the


corporate are ___________, _____________ &
________________.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)

__________________

1. What are the causes for a bad presentation and what are its
impact on the audience and the speaker?
2. Explain the rule of Six while designing a power point
presentation?
3. Write in not more that 150 words what is your understanding of
presentation skills are and what are y the things that you would
do to portray excellent presentation skills?

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 139

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 12
Group Discussions

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

The GD stage is arguably the most crucial stage. It is a bit like the
journey from qualifying in the heats to the gold medal in a sports event.
GDs are conducted to test managerial attributes like Interpersonal
Skills, Leadership, Analytical and rational thinking, Knowledge and
personality traits.GD checks a quality of paramount importance and
that is How do you work in a team?. During your work life, you will
be working as a team member rather than an individual. To do well
your interpersonal skills, your ability to put across your ideas and also
understanding the other persons point of view is important. Thats
what GD focuses on.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Types of GD
__________________

Not all GDs are equal. B-schools use several types of GDs to test the
applicants. While there are some GDs that test the knowledge of a
candidate on a topical issue, others are designed to test the lateral
thinking of candidate.Another type of GD comes in form of a short
case-study where applicants are asked to analyze a situation and
frame responses. Yet another type of a GD is a group exercise.
GDs may be put into three types. There are three common types of
GDs: Factual, Abstract, and Case Study. While the factual ones are

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 140

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

based on contemporary but controversial topics, the abstract topics


involve lateral thinking and unconventional perspectives.
The topics can be either knowledge intensive or non-knowledge
intensive. Knowledge intensive topics are based on areas like Economy
and its sectors like IT or Telecom, Society, Politics, Sports or Media.
Non-knowledge intensive topics can either be concrete topics (like
Greed is Good), and the abstract topics can be totally open ended
like Deep Blue is not blue enough.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

PREPARATION STRATEGY
You should work on developing your knowledge base, at the same
time, You should focus on improving your communication. Some
specific lessons on managing yourself during the GD are important too.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Up your KQ
The first step in your quest to do well in a GD is to improve your
knowledge quotient. Read, Watch, Listen! Read the newspapers and
magazines on current issues, specially the year-end issues that capture
the highlights of the year gone by. Also watch and listen to the news
and current affair programmes on news channels.
There are some Group Discussion topics of perennial interest for GDs.
For economic related topics, read concepts like FDI, Stock Markets,
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 141

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Liberalization, Employment scenario, Rupee vs Dollar, Inflation,


Export-import, Socialist Vs Capitalists etc.
For sector-based topics start by making a 1-2 page note on important
sectors like IT, ITES, Banking, Insurance, Retail, Telecom, Healthcare,
Agriculture, Aviation, Oil & Gas etc. Try to know what are the
developments in last year and prospects of each sector.

Notes
__________________
__________________

Express yourself!
Knowledge itself is not enough. Next step is to improve your ability to
express yourself. You can practice speaking in a GD scenario by
forming a discussion group which meets every day and takes up a topic
for discussion.
GD Tips Group Discussion Dos & Donts

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Sailing through Group Discussions successfully is an art too.


__________________

-- Be Natural
__________________

The best mantra is 'to be your natural self'. Do not manufacture


artificial responses.

__________________

-- Must Speak
__________________

A key principle of participating in a GD is that you must speak. For any


GD, take a piece of paper and a pen with you and use them unless
specifically asked by the evaluators not do so. Before you start
speaking, think through the major issues in the topic in the first two
minutes. Start speaking only when you have understood and analyzed
the topic.
-- Make free-flowing discussion

__________________
__________________
__________________

Avoid speaking in turn as it leads to an unnatural discussion. A GD


involves a free-flowing exchange of ideas among participants. Even
though there will definitely be chaos in most competitive GDs, as all
participants will be keen to be heard, any suggestion of order, such as
speaking, in turn, is unacceptable.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 142

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Summary
GD is to check how you behave, participate and contribute in a group,
how much importance do you give to the group objective as well as
your own, how well do you listen to viewpoints of others and how
open-minded are you in accepting views contrary to your own. The
aspects which make up a GD are verbal communication, non-verbal
behavior, conformation to norms, decision-making ability and cooperation. You should try to be as true as possible to these aspects. So,
use this opportunity to display your inborn leadership qualities by
preparing well, being confident and go with an open mind and
SUCCEED.
Review Questions
A.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Objective questions ( True or False).


__________________

State True / False against the questions.


1. GD is a psychometric tool to assess personality of candidates.

__________________

2. GD can be conducted one to one or in a small group of 2 to 3


candidates also.

__________________

3. GD demonstrates the Inner thought of a candidate about a


problem and how he/she perceives it.

__________________

4. GD can also judge the inter-personal behaviour of candidates.

__________________
__________________

5. GD is generally conducted after the final interview of


candidate.

__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)

__________________

1. Describe the process of conducting the GD.


2. Describe the vital qualities tested in a GD

__________________

3. Describe the Marking system of a GD giving the details of


assessment system.

__________________

4. Enumerate 10 topics each - for GD, which are of Social,


National and Economic/Business importance.

__________________

5. Describe the qualities desired in an ideal candidate for GD.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 143

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 13
Notes

Personal and Office Etiquette

__________________

Objective:-

__________________

What is Etiquette?
Types of Etiquette.
Social Graces
Dressing and grooming
Corporate Grooming
Dress code for men
Dos and Donts
Shaking hands
Good Manners
Dining Etiquette

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Introduction:__________________

Etiquette is:The customary code of polite behaviour set by an authority that


needs to be followed by an individual in a particular
environment.

Corporate etiquette usually encompasses a code of ethical


behaviour regarding professional practices or actions of among
members while dealing with each other.

Etiquette used to be the glue that held society together. It enabled


people to get on with friends and neighbors without causing offense or
harm. Sadly, these days it has mostly gone by the wayside. This list is
of 10 of the best rules of etiquette that have now vanished. Perhaps it
will inspire some to revive them!
The etiquette of business is the set of written and unwritten rules of
conduct that make social interactions run more smoothly. Office

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 144

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

etiquette in particular applies to co-worker interaction, excluding


interactions with external contacts such as customers and suppliers.
Office and business etiquette overlap considerably with basic tenets of
etiquette the social conventions for using computer networks. These
rules are often echoed throughout an industry or economy.
Etiquette, one aspect of decorum, is a code that governs the
expectations of social behavior, according to the contemporary
conventional norm within a society, social class, or group.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

"Etiquette has to do with good manners. It's not so much our own good
manners, but making other people feel comfortable by the way we
behave. So it's more or less thinking of others and how others perceive
us: So that everyone knows the rules for doing things and everyone is in
a very comfortable position in society.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Types of Etiquette: There are many types of etiquette that we should posses as they all add
up to our personality and image we create in society. You need
etiquette in school, college, office, neighbourhood, parties or even on
the street and everywhere you come across strangers and people. This
etiquette which involves the society is in short called social etiquette
which are very important for our survival in the society. When you are
interacting with a group of people as your seniors, colleagues or juniors
you need to have a certain sense of speech as well as body language.
This etiquette defines who you are in your future.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Social:__________________

When you are in a place where there are people around you,
irrespective of interaction, you should have certain behavioural
manners with every age group present. This can be called social
etiquette and possessing it only makes you a descent and good human
being. People who have social etiquette have a sense of maturity on
how to behave in public and to keep their calm when there are social
outbreaks and related emergencies. You can't act ignorant and not
bothered when there is something going on in the social environment
around that needs your help. Social etiquette should be shown in these

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 145

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

situations keeping in mind you could also be a part of it. More on


business Etiquette.
Habits

Notes
Avoid having habits like biting your nails, nose and eye picking,
applying makeup, shaking your leg or playing with your hair
constantly. This just shows you are very restless and can't make
solid decisions.
If you are in public, maintain a low voice tone while speaking
over the phone or with others in person. Respect social space
while being a part of it.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

If a senior citizen, a child, or anyone needs help with something,


make sure you go ahead and help, you will not regret it. Keep in
mind you could also need it someday.

__________________

Be polite with everyone when you interact with them.

__________________

You should have good dining etiquette as well as workplace


etiquette when you are at these social places. They are very
important in times when you have to leave an impression before
people.
This social etiquette and good manners will definitely help you
in your professional as well as personal lives and make you
calm and matured while handling certain situations..

__________________
__________________
__________________

Professional:The Business Etiquette which is the manner or behaviour of an


individual follows when he / she is around business environment. It
deals with the way how one professional interacts with the other. These
people can be either colleagues or the customers.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Importance of Professional Etiquette


As a working professional it is expected from you to understand the
culture of your workplace and thus, it becomes essential to follow some
basic professional etiquette. The basis of professional etiquette stands
on the ethics of respecting other individuals in your workplace and
displaying courteous behavior while business interactions. Professional
etiquette can have long lasting and farfetched impact on professional
life; be it your personal career growth or a rising business for your
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 146

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

company. Your professional etiquette can thus, put you in the good/bad
book of your immediate boss or potential clients.
Social Graces: -

Notes

Conversation Etiquette

__________________

Always listen to others attentively. A good listener is always


dear to every client. Speak only when the other person has
finished talking instead of interrupting in between.
Keep a low but clear and calm voice while conversing. Your
tone should always be polite.
While conversing always look into the eyes of the other person
and avoid showing your back or looking elsewhere.
Keep your conversations short and to the point instead of
getting into irrelevant topics and discussions. Remember this is
a business talk and not a family re-union.
Maintain your sobriety and politeness even if the client speaks
something offensive or rude and avoid replying back in harsh
tone/words.
Avoid fidgeting with your dress or putting your hands on the
face while in a conversation.
Telephone Answering Etiquette

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

In business, in addition to the greeting, it's necessary to identify


ourselves and the company or department.
Example: "Good afternoon, Etiquette International, Tracey Woods forth
speaking." or "Protocol Office. This is Tracey. How may I help you?"
The easiest way to avoid having someone ask you "Who's calling?"
and also one of the better ways to assure you'll get through to your
party, is to announce yourself at the beginning of your call.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Example: "Hello, this is Tracey Woods forth from Etiquette


International. May I please speak to Bob Willis?"

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 147

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Making a Phone Call


o

Before dialling a telephone to make a personal call, make sure


you are calling at an appropriate hour. Use the 9/9 rule: make phone
calls after 9 a.m. and before 9 p.m.
When making a phone call, always identify yourself, even if you are
familiar with a household or a business and state the purpose of
your call. For example, say, "Hi, this is (your name). I am calling
for (insert name). Is he/she available?" If you are calling a
professional office, let the person on the other line know your
relationship with the person with whom you wish to speak: "Hello.
This is (your full name). I am a patient of (insert name), and would
like to make an appointment."

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Answering the Phone


o

When answering a phone call, try to answer the phone by the


second or third ring, and do not speak with food or other items
in your mouth. Make sure your greeting is simple, friendly
and not confusing. A simple "Hello, this is (your name)," is
acceptable. If the phone call you receive is for someone else in
the home, ask the caller's name if you do not already know
who it is.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Asking a Caller to Wait


o

__________________

There are times when you will need to place a caller on hold,
if you have that option on your phone, or ask them to wait a
moment while you retrieve the person with whom she wishes
to speak. In these instances, let the person on the other line
know you need to place the call on hold or need them to wait
for a moment. When you pick up the receiver again, thank the
other person for waiting. If you anticipate the individual on
the other end of the line will be waiting for more than a few
minutes, let her know this and ask her if she would prefer to
wait or to receive a return call.

Taking Messages
o

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

When a caller wishes to speak to someone in the home who is


not available, you might need to take a message. Proper
telephone messages should include the caller's full name, the
company he works for (if applicable), his phone number and a
brief message explaining the purpose of the call. When the
caller is leaving a phone

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 148

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

number with you, repeat the numbers to him to make sure


you have them written correctly. Always feel free to ask a
person to spell his name if you are not sure of the spelling
or are having a hard time understanding the caller when
he states his name. If the phone message includes
instructions, repeat them back to the caller to make sure
you have them written correctly.
Ending a Conversation
o

Notes
__________________
__________________

Always end telephone conversations with grace and


honesty. If a conversation has gone on too long and you
need to hang up, let the person on the other line know that
you would like to finish your discussion at another time
and suggest a date and time. It also acceptable to let the
individual know you have to hang up, but tell her you
enjoyed speaking with her.

Address Someone with respect : -

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Always remember to stand so that you are at eye level. Women as


well.

__________________

Good eye contact is a sign of honesty and confidence.

__________________

Smile, who wants to talk to unhappy people,.

__________________

Dont forget to wear name badges on the right shoulder.


__________________

If wearing a name badge, wear it on your right shoulder.


__________________

Dressing and Grooming:

Only one chance to make a first impression

__________________

Style consistent with the type of position

__________________

Convey professionalism and competence

Intelligence and Credibility

Builds Self Confidence

__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 149

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Appearance is the most important factor in our daily life style. In


current society a persons appearance, dressing and clothing does
matter a lot. Dressing sense is said to be the reflection of a person's
personality as well as it reflects the occasion for which the individual
person attends. Depending upon this people of different tastes, cultures
and behavioural of works. Dresses or cloths divided into casuals wear,
formal wear, comfort wear and traditional wear. As classified above
those all are situational and occasional wears. Here the main role is
played by the issue of dressing sense, it comes in to picture .that means
providing sense for situation and relating our dress to a particular dress.
That means wearing formals for office and blazers and trousers of
official purposes, wearing swimming wear as well as casuals when u go
for beach locations A good dressing sense can do wonders with the
right kind of fashion.
We can say that dressing up and grooming is about developing one's
sense of self worth and feeling a sense of power. Taking an example
from everyday life, the days when we dress up in clothes and colours
that we perceive as suitable to us, we not only feel but also exude
confidence. But if we were to wear attire that we perceive as not
complementary to our sense of style, we automatically seem to feel
diffident.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Corporate Grooming:Always wear neat and nicely pressed formal clothes. Choose
corporate shades while you are picking up clothes for your
office wear.
Women should avoid wearing exposing dresses and opt for little
but natural make-ups. Men need to keep their hair (including
facial hair) neatly trimmed and set.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Always polish your shoes.

__________________

Keep your nails clean.


Wear clothes which you are comfortable in and can carry well.
This is very important while you are in a business meeting or
client presentation.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Notes

Page 150

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The most often made mistake that men make is when they
adjust their neck tie in a way that lets it hang too short or very
long. A properly worn neck tie is one that will graze the top of a
mans pants to cover the pants buttons.

Notes

Dress for men: Trousers: Black, Charcoal grey, Dark brown, avoid light
colored trousers.
Shirts: White, Light Blue, Grey, Crmes- Full sleeves

__________________
__________________

Ties: Single colored or multicolored. No floral patterns or


cartoon characters.

__________________

Belts: Brown or black . No flashy Buckles. Socks should be of


the same color.

__________________

Shoes: Plain Black, Brown, Tan. Comfortable

__________________

Jackets & suits: Black, Charcoal grey, Navy Blue

__________________

Accessories: Plain watches, Plain wallets & neat folders, No


jewelry

__________________

Material Cotton shirts & Wool & Polyester trousers.

__________________

Dress Code for Women

__________________

Trousers & Suits : Black, Charcoal Grey Or Dark Blue

Shirts: White, Light Blue, Grey, Crmes- Full or short sleeves.


No Sleeveless

Salwar kameez: Single colored or Light Shades. No Whites


please. Avoid transparent clothes. No deep necks.

Shoes/Sandals: Should be closed from front. Heel should not


be more than 1 inches. Sandals should be plain also. - Black,
Brown, Tan, Dark Grey ,Cream.

__________________

Jackets & suits: Black, Charcoal grey, Navy Blue

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 151

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Material: Crepe, Cotton, Cotton shirts & Wool & Polyester


trousers.

Size: Wear the right size not very tight and not very loose either.

Accessories: Watches should be plain. Earrings should be small


and plain. No Bangles, bracelets can be plain . Plain bags
.Avoid jewelry as much as possible

Notes
__________________
__________________

Dos and Donts:__________________

Things that should be avoided:__________________

Avoid Gutka, smoking or tobacco

Use lots of cologne or strong perfumes

__________________

Do not show your tattoos

__________________

Do not spit or chew gum

No earring or piercing to be worn at work for men unless


religious

__________________
__________________

Avoid polishing your shoes with the back of your trousers

Avoid spikes, colored, long or bald look. Women hair color not
be brighter than your normal hair color

__________________

Avoid large earrings and bangles

__________________

Avoid wearing glass bangles and bindis with western formals

Long hair should be tied up in a pony tail or a plait. Men avoid


long hair

__________________

Perfumed oil and use very little hair oil.

__________________

Shaking Hands:-

__________________

__________________

When shaking hands always offer a firm handshake with your fingers
titled down and your thumb up. However, ensure your handshake is not
so firm that it crushes or hurts the other persons hand. This indicates
that you are dominant.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 152

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Limit the time of handshakes to 2 to 3 seconds and take your hand back
gracefully.
Avoid patting on the back of the hand.

Notes

While shaking hands, greet the person by looking into his/her eyes.
It doesn't matter who extends the hand first, but the one who does takes
control of the situation, takes matters in hand if you will.
The proper placement of the nametag is high on the right shoulder.
When shaking hands, your eye follows the line of your arm to the other
person's right side. By placing the tag on the right, it's easy to read the
name while shaking hands.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Good Manners:Good manners are lifetime asset. The rewards of this asset are several
and the cost is negligible. Parents are responsible for their childrens
behavior.
Manners are taught as soon as your child understands what you are
saying. In addition, children will need coaching and reminders on
manners throughout their childhood. It is best to give positive support,
that is, when your child does something right, let them know. When
your child does something wrong, do not be negative about it, but
gently tell them how it is best done and why.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

When we talk about good manners, we think mostly about table


manners. We are in need to teach them in other areas also.

__________________

We should talk about basic manners. In my suggestion these are:

__________________

Be nice to people.
__________________

When you ask for something do not forget to say Please


Say Thank You when you are given something.
Say Youre Welcome when someone thanks you.
Greet people when you see them.
Look people in the eyes when you talk to people look in their
eyes.
Do not interrupt when other people are talking.
Share with others.
Help people.
Let guests go first.
Be on time, especially if you are meeting someone.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 153

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

In good manners, cleanliness is also important. Put the habit of hygiene


from very early stage. Here are tips for inculcating the value of
cleanliness in children.

Notes

Dining Etiquette:With the kind of culture that exists today, dining etiquette is almost a
thing of the past. You can use some of these dining etiquette tips to
present yourself in an effective manner to the people around you.
It may sound old fashioned to some but remember that men have to be
a little ahead of the women when they are going towards the dining
table. They should stand till the host or the hostess finishes the
announcements and sits down.
The napkin is another important part about dining etiquette and I have
often seen people struggling with the same. Unfold the napkin only
when everyone is seated at the dining table and place it on the lap. This
has to be unfolded either in the shape of a large triangle or in the shape
of a rectangle. Your napkin is not a substitute for tissue; you can always
ask for a separate tissue paper if you feel the need to do so.
Talking with food in your mouth is the first mistake you would commit
at the dining table. Dining etiquette needs to be maintained as talking
too much at dinnertime can be a real turn off for many.
When you are at the dining table, you must know the order of the food
and the crockery that is placed to be able to maintain the dining
etiquette. Solid food is always placed on the left and any form of liquid
is placed on the right. The largest plate is the dinner plate, a medium
sized plate would be your salad plate and a small sized plate would be
your bread plate. The glass of wine or water will be placed on the right
side. Begin using the spoons and forks from the outside area and
towards the inside of the plate.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Use the knife to butter the bread. Take some amount of butter in your
plate and use the butter knife to spread the butter.

__________________

When soup is served to you, it may at times be really too hot to be


consumed. Even then, blowing on the hot soup is not the right kind of
dining etiquette one would expect from a professional!

__________________

Sometimes the salad may contain huge leaves that may be a little
cumbersome to eat. In that case use your salad fork to cut them into

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 154

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

smaller pieces.
Order something that is easy to eat if you wish to avoid drawing
attention to yourself! This will be particularly helpful if your employer
gives the dinner party.
If you notice that some wine has also been served then pick up the glass
by holding the stem of the glass. You need to use your thumb and the
first two fingers for this.
When its time to use the finger bowl, dip the fingers of only one hand
at first. Use the napkin on your lap to dry them.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Dining etiquette is not really as difficult as it may seem to be. You may
find it difficult to adjust in the beginning but remember that all it takes
is a little bit of thinking and consideration from your side to be able to
present yourself in the best manner possible.

__________________

Summary

__________________

Etiquette used to be the glue that held society together. It enabled


people to get on with friends and neighbors without causing offense or
harm. Sadly, these days it has mostly gone by the wayside. The
etiquette of business is the set of written and unwritten rules of conduct
that make social interactions run more smoothly. "Etiquette has to do
with good manners. It's not so much our own good manners, but
making other people feel comfortable by the way we behave. So it's
more or less thinking of others and how others perceive us:

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

There are many types of etiquette that we should posses as they all add
up to our personality and image we create in society. You need
etiquette in school, college, office, neighborhood, parties or even on the
street and everywhere you come across strangers and people.

__________________
__________________

Social etiquette and possessing it only makes you a descent and good
human being. People who have social etiquette have a sense of maturity
on how to behave in public and to keep their calm when there are social
outbreaks and related emergencies.

__________________
__________________

Business Etiquette is the manner or behavior an individual follows


when he / she is around business environment. Your professional
etiquette can thus, put you in the good/bad book of your immediate
boss or potential clients.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 155

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

In social graces, conversation Etiquette and telephone answering


Etiquette are important to follow.
Appearance is the most important factor in our daily life style. In
current society a persons appearance, dressing and clothing does
matter a lot. Dressing sense is said to be the reflection of a persons
personality.
Good manners are lifetime asset. The rewards of this asset are several
and the cost is negligible.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

With the kind of culture that exists today, dining etiquette is almost a
thing of the past but to present yourself in an effective manner to the
people around you dining Etiquette are essential.

__________________

REVIEW QUESTIONS

__________________

Fill in the blanks


1) The customary code of polite behaviour set by an authority that
needs to be followed is called--------------------------------2) Dresses are divided into casuals wear, and --------------State true/false
3)
4)

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

Use lots of cologne or strong perfumes.


When making a phone call, always identify yourself.

__________________

Choose the correct answer

__________________

5 Always be on time as
__________________

A- If you're late on a regular basis, people notice...


B- No one cares or notices.
C- It is considered bad etiquette.

__________________
__________________

Subjective questions
1) Why is grooming important in the corporate world?
2) Write a note on proper dinning etiquette.
3) What should be remembered to display good manners towards
ladies?
4) What is office etiquette and why must it be followed?
5) Write a note on personal etiquette.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 156

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 14
School to College Transition

Notes

Learning Objectives

__________________

Understanding Code of Conduct

__________________

Awareness on how freedom is misused


__________________

Awareness of aspects other than college

__________________

Introduction
School over, college begins, freedom at last. This is the thought that
usually a student comes to college with. They will finally be treated as

__________________
__________________

an adult which is true but are they ready to handle this sort of
responsibility is the question. College does give students a lot of

__________________

freedom to choose for themselves what and how they want to live their
life but within boundaries. These are the boundaries which students do
not understand and thereby face consequences they are not prepared

__________________
__________________

for. In this chapter we would briefly discuss aspects of a students life


__________________

while in college and in what impact they have.

Code of Conduct

__________________

Usually when a student comes to college he/she thinks that it is good bye to
all the manners and etiquette they have learned in school as no one is

__________________

watching them. Every college has a code of conduct that needs to be followed
__________________

and those points that need to be kept in mind are:


College Uniforms: Usually colleges do not have uniforms so the

__________________

students wear whatever it that they like however shorts, short skirts,
and tight t- shirts are still not allowed. If they have uniform then it is
important to respect the uniform same as in school. A uniform is

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 157

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

given to maintain standardization in college. Uniform represent an


institution and the students act as brand ambassadors for the same.
Students usually wear uniform like they wear their informal clothes, it
a part of formal wear and therefore needs to be work with the right
kind of shoes and not sneakers or fancy shoes. The tie needs to be

Notes
__________________

knotted properly; shirts tucked in and properly ironed.


Keep the college clean: This is important because as the students
represent the college, in the same way the college represents the

__________________
__________________

students. Unclean college where wrappers are thrown around, people


are spitting etc lead to creating a bad image and also unhealthy

__________________

conditions.
__________________
Maintain personal hygiene: This point is important to both students in
hostel as well as day scholars. Due to an early class or very cold

__________________

weather students do not have regular baths; they may also borrow
each other clothes least realizing that all these habits leads to
spreading diseases and unhealthy conditions. It is important to bathe,
brush and wear clean clothes every day. Hair needs to be clean and
properly washed and combed irrespective of the style you follow.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Hand and feet should be clean. Socks should be fresh and shoes
polished. There is nothing wrong in following fashion but it can be

__________________

done in a neat manner.


__________________
Adhere to college timings and respect your teachers as they do put in
a lot of hard work just like you to teach you the required subjects.
Mass bunking/Bunking classes is definitely not going to help you. If

__________________
__________________

you want to do well in life then it is important to grasp the knowledge


that you have come to receive when you took admission. Always

__________________

remember you might have people who support you but when it comes
to writing exams you have to write them and pass them yourself.
Utilize your after college hours do pursue your interests.
Smoking, drinking and drugs are punishable. Other than that they
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 158

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

cause danger to your health as well as lives. It is important to have


friends but it is not important to give in to these habits to make
friends.

Notes

Respect each others space. Do not feel that just because he/she is a
friend you can stick to them like stick jaw and interfere in their lives
all the time. Do not take things personally and start fighting.

__________________
__________________

Understand that you are here to study and not fight.


Life is precious so it is important to be safe. Try to avoid unsafe
locations for a trip or any other recreational activity.

__________________
__________________

Freedom Misused
Freedom when used properly reaps benefits but when misused leads to doom.
For students this new found freedom is a way to life. When they come in

__________________
__________________

college they feel they should do everything that they have not done so far due
school rules or parental pressure. A few common scenarios that happen when

__________________

in college are:
__________________
Verbal abuse and physical fights: This somehow makes the student
feel powerful and popular however thats not the case. Usually these

__________________

fights happen due to immaturity. They can lead to death as they do not
__________________

know where to stop hitting or harassing.


Triple Riding: Usually the mode of transport is college buses but there

__________________

are students who are gifted bikes and cars by their parents. Usually a
two wheeler is meant for seating of two people however as a fashion

__________________

or an act of togetherness between friends there are times when three


people are sitting on it. If you are lucky nothing may happen at all but
its just that one time thats all it takes to make crippled, lose your leg

__________________
__________________

or lose your life. There are incidents which have happened causing the
same.

__________________

Suicide attempts: This definitely not the way forward. These happen
when students cannot handle loneliness, study pressure or are troubled

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 159

Soft Skills & Personality Development

due to people or their relationships. Something that they are ashamed


of and are not able to face and they think its the easy way out. Well
as all religions say this is definitely a sure shot attempt to hell. Life is
very precious and it is important to enjoy it in the right fashion.
Peer pressure: Habits like smoking, drinking, drugs, attending parties,
running away from hostels at night, lying to parents, relationships

Notes
__________________
__________________

with the opposite sex, bunking lectures all these are aspects of peer
pressure. Most of these aspects cause health hazards which could lead

__________________

to death. Things like drinking and driving, drug overdose, sexual


harassment are articles that you read about in the paper every day.

__________________

Technology Misuse: Mobile phones have become a necessity

__________________

today. Social networking sites like face book, orkut, twitter,


blogging have become a way of life. All this is acceptable but

__________________

again within boundaries. We are all aware about how long it takes
for a scandal to be exposed through MMS. Use of mobile for
chatting during class is not acceptable. Do not trust people on
networking websites who give incomplete information. There
have been ample cases of people being kidnapped, sexually

__________________
__________________
__________________

harassed etc due to these sites.


Relationships: It is important to have friends but more important
is to have the right set of friends. Love relationships at this early

__________________
__________________

stage is not preferred however if you are the chosen one then
make this work towards your success and happiness instead of

__________________

away from it.


__________________

Add your views


_______________________________________________________________

__________________

_______________________________________________________________
__________________

____________________________________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 160

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Enjoy College Life


After having discussed the factors that can endanger your life and health, here
are a few tips to enjoy college life as well.

Notes
Chose friends who accept you for the way you are and not because
__________________

they follow a particular fashion.


Plan your day well so you have enough time to watch a movie after

__________________

class or on holidays or just to spend time with friends


__________________
Participate in college activities like games, freshers party, college
festivals.

__________________

Organize events to show your talent and skill.

__________________

Chose safe places for trips with your friends. Mode of transportation
__________________

should be safe as well.


Attend classes so that it reduces pressure at exam time. Group Study

__________________

is one way
__________________
Avoid habits like smoking and drinking there are other ways of
__________________

having fun and showing that you are fashionable


Sleep well, eat well and stay fit because there is nothing more

__________________

important than you.


__________________
Make goals and devise a plan on how you would like to achieve it.
Increase awareness of the world beyond colleges by attending
seminars, industrial visits, training.

__________________
__________________

Develop yourself in an organized manner.


__________________

Add your views


_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 161

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Summary:
In this chapter we have understood how important our life is and we should
take ownership for what we do. We should use the freedom provided to us in a
constructive manner. What we do during our college years can impact our
future directly or indirectly so it is important to be careful. The bottom line is

Notes
__________________

to enjoy and imbibe all the positive that a college can offer and have a
balanced mind to leave what is not important. These days are precious and

__________________

will not return so have fun while developing yourself professionally and
personally.

__________________

Review Questions

__________________

Objective questions (Fill in the blank/ multiple choice/ True or


__________________

False/ one line answer)

__________________

1. It is important to greet teachers and peer in a proper manner.


__________________

( True/false)

__________________

2. Name three ways in which freedom is misused


__________________

_______________, _________, ________


3. It is okay to copy peers blindly. (True/False).
4. Drinking & drugs are habits which are not recommended in
college and otherwise.( True/False)

__________________
__________________
__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)

__________________

1. How we can misuse the freedom provided during college.


__________________

Comment
2. What is your understanding of basic code of conduct that
should be followed while in college

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 162

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 15
Notes

Creative & Logical Thinking

__________________

Learning Objectives

__________________

Understand the human brain function


Understand the importance of both
Blooms taxonomy of thought process and relevance
Understand some traits
Awareness of some techniques that are used for problem solving
Understand basic concept of mind mapping to enhance
creativity and logical flow
Points to remember

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Introduction
Creative & logical thinking has become an important part of problem
solving and decision making process in the corporate today. Gone are
the days when there was one problem and one solution, now they have
one problem and multiple solutions and the most practical & cost
effective solution is then selected. Creative & logical thinking skills are
what the companies look for while hiring fresher as well. These skills
are judged through various selection tools like aptitude tests, group
discussions, essay writing & interviews. In this chapter we would
understand the various components of the human brain, a study on how
thought process pattern is revised due to changing needs, the various
techniques that are used and the concept of developing creativity
through a logical thought process.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Creative & Logical Thinking & the Human Brain

__________________

Creative thinking is a way of looking at problems or situations from a


fresh perspective that suggests unorthodox solutions (which may look
unsettling at first). Creative thinking can be stimulated both by an
unstructured process such as brainstorming. The right side of the brain
is used.
Logical Thinking is reasoning based on rules of formal logic. The left
side of the brain is used
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 163

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Research has shown that two sides of the brain denotes two modes of
thinking and over a period of time both these modes are required for
effective problem solving. While most individual have a preference for
one style and another, the real key is build the capacity for whole brain
thinking in the organization, where people are comfortable in one style
or another, depending on the need of the situation. Building this
capability is a key part of the innovative organization. In the figure
below a clear map of the brain and its functions is provided:

__________________

Figure 1

__________________

Notes

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Bridging the gap between both has become important as it improves an


individuals productivity. Multiple solutions to a problem and thinking
out of the box but with logic behind, it is the need of the hour. There
are various techniques used in companies to practice the same.

__________________

Blooms Taxonomy of thinking skills

__________________

Thinking is a mental process which allows beings to model the world,


and so to deal with it effectively according to their goals, plans, end and
desires. Words referring to similar concepts and processes include
consciousness, idea, imagination etc. Thinking involves the deeply
cerebral manipulation of information, as when we form concepts,
engage in problem solving, reason and make decisions.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 164

__________________

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Original Theory
In the 1956, Benjamin Bloom, an educational psychologist working at
the University of Chicago, developed his taxonomy of Educational
Objectives. This categorized and ordered thinking skills and objectives.
His taxonomy follows the thinking process. You cannot understand a
concept if you do not first remember it, similarly you can not apply
knowledge and concepts if you do not understand them. It is a
continuum from Lower Order Thinking Skills (LOTS) to Higher Order
Thinking Skills (HOTS). They are arranged below in increasing order,
from lower order to higher order. This is used to enhance learning
process, to improve problem solving and decision making process. The
original theory concentrated on logical thinking.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure2

__________________

Knowledge & Remembering: The base of this theory. When the


memory is used to produce definition, facts or lists, or retrieve material
that already exists in the database of the brain in the form of
knowledge.
Comprehension/Understanding: The process of constructing meaning
from different types of functions/ particular information given.
Application: Carrying out or using a procedure through executing or
implementing.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 165

__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Analysis: Breaking material or concepts into parts, determining how the


parts relate or Inter relate to one another or to an overall structure or
purpose or problem solving.
Synthesis: Blending the various solutions/purposes defined
Evaluating: Making judgment on the standards through checking.
How this applies to logical thinking is simple when a problem is given
to you. Remember what the problem is.
If you have knowledge about what it is and understand it completely
then you are displaying low order of thinking skills
For moving up the ladder application, then analysis, then synthesis and
the evaluation of the solution is important for complete problem
solving.

Revised Theory

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

In the 1990's, a former student of Bloom, Lorin Anderson and David


Krathwohl, revised Bloom's Taxonomy and published this- Bloom's
Revised Taxonomy in 2001.This attempts to account for the new
behaviors and actions emerging as technology advances and becomes
more omnipresent. The new theory adds on the aspect of creating which
appeals to the creative thinking process of an individual. This is
majorly used to enhance learning processes for students and also
teaching process for teachers and in the corporate for decision making,
communication & problem solving.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 3

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 166

Soft Skills & Personality Development

How this applies to logical thinking is simple when a problem is given


to you.
Remember what the problem is.
If you have knowledge about what it is and understand it completely
then you are displaying low order of thinking skills
For moving up the ladder application, then analysis , then evaluation of
the solution
Based on all we then create thus completing the problem solving
process.

Notes
__________________
__________________

Qualities of Logical & Creative thinkers

__________________

Each person has one part of the brain functioning more than the other
that does not mean that they do not have other traits. Each one of us has
these qualities it is for you to figure out which ones you use more.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Logical

Attracted to complexities
Believes in a step by step approach
Open minded
Perceptive and immediate problem solver
Work well with boundaries
Looks at only the base issue : Narrow approach

Creative

__________________

Willingness to take risks


Looks at varied approaches: sometimes shortcut
Open minded & Value originality
Intuitive and Deep Emotions, Perceptive
Attracted to complexity
Values Originality
Looks at indirect links to the issue: Broad approach

__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 4

Add your own views


_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
____________________________________________

__________________
__________________

Techniques Used for problem solving

__________________

There are some common techniques which are used using both logical
and creative thinking process for problem solving. Let discuss a few:

__________________

S.C.A.M.P.E.R: Is a problem solving technique which can be used to


spark the creativity of people that try to solve specific problems and
helps them reuse existing ideas or effective existing solutions to similar
problems. .This incorporates both creative as well as logical thinking
Each letter in the acronym SCAMPER represents a different way
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 167

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

someone can visualize the components of a problem and how new ideas
can be triggered from existing ideas/cases:
S = Substitute
C = Combine
A = Adapt
M = Modify
P = Put to Other Uses
E = Eliminate (or Minify)
R = Rearrange (or Reverse)

Notes
__________________
__________________

In the picture given you will see a mind map of how this
technique can be used and what could be the components:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 5

Osborn: "It is easier to tone down a wild idea than to think up


a new one."- Alex Osborn, the father of brain storming. Its a
technique used for brain storming. It again uses both type of
thinking process. Structured brain storming produces more
creative ideas. The step to conduct this technique is:
Orientation (picking out problem)
Preparation (gathering, organizing)
Analysis and Ideation (Seeking possible solutions)

__________________
__________________
__________________

Incubation (time lag for mind to synthesize problem and solution)


Evaluation (verifying, testing)
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 168

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Parnes: This is similar to the Osborn method. It was


developed by Dr.Sydney.J.Parnes and Alex Osborn for creative
problem solving using a logical approach. It follows a six step
model from start to finish of a problem.

Notes
__________________

Process Stage

Steps

__________________
__________________

Objective Finding (identify the goal, wish or challenge)

Explore the
Challenge

__________________

Fact Finding (gather the relevant data)

__________________
Problem Finding (clarify the problems that need to be solved in order
to achieve the goal)

Generate Ideas

Idea Finding (generate ideas to solve the identified problem)

Solution Finding (move from idea to implementable solution)


Prepare for Action

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Acceptance Finding (plan for action)

__________________

Davis/AUTA method of creativity: This model talks about


enhancing creative thinking skills. It talks about

__________________

Awareness of the importance of creativity (to self and society)


Understanding of creativity (the creative person/process/theories)
Techniques (exposure to methods and strategies)
Self-Actualization (self motivation and realizing potential)
These are some techniques used for enhancing a building creative &
logical thinking.

__________________

Add your own views

__________________
__________________

_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
____________________________________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 169

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Another great and easy technique for increasing your creative thinking
skills in a logical manner is known as MIND MAPS.

Mind Mapping: Basic Concept


The concept of mind mapping was created by tony buzan. A mind
map is a diagram used to represent words, ideas, tasks, or other items
linked to and arranged around a central key word or idea. Mind maps
are used to generate, visualize, structure, and classify ideas, and as an
aid to studying and organizing information, free speech, presentation
skills, extempore, creative communication, solving problems, making
decisions, and writing. It is a helpful tool for developing creative
thinking skills. The figure below shows how it is beneficial for a
student. Mind maps can be created for subject, chapters, topics &
subtopics to make your study easier.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 6

__________________

Guidelines for creating a mind map


__________________

Start in the centre with an image of the topic, using at least 3 colours.
__________________

Use images, symbols, codes, and dimensions throughout your Mind


Map.

__________________

Select key words and print using upper or lower case letters.

__________________

Each word/image is best alone and sitting on its own line.


PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 170

Soft Skills & Personality Development

The lines should be connected, starting from the central image. The
central lines are thicker, organic and thinner as they radiate out from the
centre.

Notes

Make the lines the same length as the word/image they support.

__________________

Use multiple colours throughout the Mind Map, for visual stimulation
and also to encode or group.

__________________
__________________

Use emphasis and show associations in your Mind Map.


Keep the Mind Map clear by using radial hierarchy, numerical order or
outlines to embrace your branches.

Mind maps are a useful tool while preparing for interviews. It helps in
presentation skills, extempore, public speaking and group discussions.
The figure below is a sample of how they can be used for planning your
week.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Figure 7

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

__________________

Page 171

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Add your own views


_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

Some Tips For Improving Logical & Creative thinking


Self development is a constant process. It is important to improve on what
we already have and increase our success quotient in our lives. Here are few
tips to do the same:

Take risks by pushing yourself out of your comfort zone when seeking
understanding

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Seek out examples of others' creative solutions to similar situations


__________________

Examine the situation you face from multiple perspectives


Go beyond obvious and conventional solutions

__________________

Free yourself to brainstorm (develop) multiple solutions to situation

__________________

Seek out more (complete) information about situation/decision


__________________

Separate information you do have into fact and opinions


__________________

Evaluate and decide on importance of each piece of information


Breakdown larger concepts into smaller, easier to manage pieces

__________________

Dedicate time to gather, read, and evaluate information

__________________

Look for patterns in past experience to prepare for future


decisions/situations

__________________

Read and review common sense tips for everyday situations

__________________

Apply what you have learned from the past to present day

__________________

Summary
Creative and logical thinking skills though come from different sides of
the brain when put together yield creative and effective solutions. These
skills need to be practised and constantly honed if you want to increase
your success quotient. The easiest tool to start with is mind mapping.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 172

__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Choose the technique that is most effective for you and develop
yourself. Remember a person with a blend of good logical and creative
thinking is what the companies are now looking for.

Notes

Review Questions
Objective questions (Fill in the blank/ multiple choice/
True or False/ one line answer)

__________________
__________________

1. Companies look for people who have both logical and creative
thinking skills .( True/False)
2. Which quality is not there in a creative thinker?
Open mindedness
Willingness to take risk
Step by step approach
Values originality

__________________
__________________
__________________

3. The four types of techniques are _______________,


_________, ________ and ________.
4. Mind maps are not an effective tool for creative thinking.
(True/False).
5. The addition in the revised blooms taxonomy is
______________.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Subjective questions (Answer in 150-250 words)


1. Explain at least two techniques of creative and logical problem
solving?
2. List down ways in which you can develop your creative and
logical thinking skills

__________________
__________________
__________________

3. Using the guidelines mentioned above draw a mind map for


your favorite topic?

__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 173

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 16
Written Communication Skills

Notes

Effective Communication Criteria: 7 Cs

__________________

1.

Clarity
Apply the KISS formulaKeep it Short and Simple.
Choose short, familiar, conversational words.
Construct effective sentences and paragraphs.
Achieve appropriate readability--and listenability.
Avoid unfamiliar words, abbreviations, slang or jargon.
2. Completeness
Answer all questions asked.
Give something extra, when desirable.
Check for the five Ws and any other essentials???
3. Conciseness
Shorten or omit wordy expressions.
Include only relevant statements.
Avoid unnecessary repetition, long sentences, relative
pronouns, expletives,
Abstract subjects, and passive verbs.
4.Correctness
Use the right level of language.
Include only accurate facts, words, and figures.
Maintain acceptable writing mechanics.
Choose nondiscriminatory expressions.
5.Concreteness
Use specific facts and figures.
Put action in your verbs.
Choose vivid, image-building words.
Avoid relative words, indefinite phrases, and abstract words.
6.Consideration
Focus on "you" instead of "I" and "we."
Take an interest in the reader, show how the reader will
benefit.
Emphasize positive, pleasant facts.
Apply integrity and ethics.
Avoid negative words.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 174

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

7.

Courtesy
Be sincerely tactful, thoughtful, and appreciative.
Omit expressions that irritate, hurt, or belittle.
Apologize good-naturedly.
Use words and phrases that set a positive tone.
Make the reply easy.

Notes
__________________

WRITING BUSINESS LETTERS


__________________

Know What You Want.


In one sentence write down what you want the letter to achieve
List the major points you want to get across--it'll keep you on
course.
If you're answering a letter, check the points that need
answering and keep the letter in front of you while you write.
Be prompt in answering letters, else, do not expect any
promptness from the other person.
Plunge Right in.
Call the reader by name--"Dear Mr. John Roberts" not "Dear
Sir, Madam, or Ms."--and be sure to spell it right.
Tell what your letter is about in the first paragraph using one
or two sentences. Don't keep your readers guessing
Write so Readers Enjoy it.
Write the entire letter from the readers point of view.
Anticipate and answer the questions and objections that
might arise.
Be positive. The reader will be more receptive to what you
have to say.
Be nice. Be agreeable even while disagreeing.
Be natural. Write the way you talk. Business jargon too
often is cold, stiff, and unnatural. The acid test--read your
letter out loud when you're done - you'll know for sure if it
sounds natural.
Don't be cute or flippant. The reader won't take you
seriously.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Keep it Short and Simple.


__________________

Be specific. You won't get what you're after if your reader


doesn't get the message.
Lean heavier on nouns and verbs, lighter on adjectives.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 175

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Use the active voice instead of the passive. Your writing


will have more guts. Which of these is stronger? Active
voice: "I kicked out my money manager." Or, passive voice:
"My money manager was kicked out by me.
Keep it neat. Use paragraphing that makes it easier to read.
Keep your letter short . Keep your paragraphs short. For
emphasis, underline important words.
Make it perfect. No typos, no misspellings, no factual errors.
If you're sloppy and let mistakes slip by, the person reading
your letter will think you don't know better or don't care.
Use good English.
Don't exaggerate. Even once. Your reader will suspect
everything else you write.
Distinguish opinions from facts.
Edit ruthlessly. Somebody has said that words are a lot like
inflated money--the more words that you use, the less each
one is worth.
Sum it Up
The last paragraph should tell the reader exactly what you
want the reader to do--or what you're going to do. "May I
have an appointment? Next Monday, May 16
Close with something simple like, "Sincerely."
3 Approaches to Letter Writing

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Direct Approach

__________________

Used when you anticipate readers response to be positive or


neutral.
Eg.Letters that grant credit/requests
Congratulatory messages

__________________
__________________

Indirect Approach
__________________

Used when you anticipate readers response to be negative.


Eg.Letters that turn down requests/invitations.
Letters that terminate a business relationship.
Warning letters

__________________
__________________

Persuasive Approach
Used when you anticipate resistance or lack of interest by the
reader.
Eg.letters that ask readers to contribute,
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 176

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Cooperate,
Make a purchase etc.

6 PARTS of LETTER- WRITING

Notes

Business letter is more formal than a personal letter. There are six parts
to a business letter.
The Heading. This contains the return address (usually two or three
lines) with the date on the last line, and the phone number, fax number,
E-mail address, or something similar.
The Inside Address. This is the address you are sending your letter to.
Make it as complete as possible. Include titles and names if you know
them.
The Greeting. Also called the salutation. The greeting in a business
letter is always formal. The greeting in a business letter always ends in
a comma.
The Body. The body is written as text. A business letter is never hand
written. Depending on the letter style you choose, paragraphs may be
indented. Skip a line between the greeting and the body.
The Complimentary Close. This short, polite closing ends with a
comma.
The Signature Line. Skip two lines and type out the name to be
signed. The signature line may include a second line for a title.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

STAGES OF EFFECTIVE BUSINESS WRITING


__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Being Reader-Friendly
Be positive: Put readers in a positive spotlight as much as
possible. Minimize use of negative language, especially toward
your readers.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 177

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Emphasize what readers can do instead of what they cannot


do: Instead of writing: You are not eligible for the discount,

Write: Members are eligible for this discount. To become a


member, please complete and submit this form.
State facts instead of assigning blame: Instead of writing,
You did not include a check in your recent mortgage payment
mailing, Write: We did not find a check in your recent
mortgage payment mailing.
Avoid leading with negative information
Be polite: Politeness means being courteous and respectful to
the reader. Politeness is achieved by using proper language
when addressing the reader.
Be fair: avoid making assumptions about gender-specific social
roles, to include information about race and age only when it is
relevant to the purpose of the message, and to avoid
stereotyping people with disabilities and diseases.

Principle of Adaptation to the Reader


For writing to be clear, it must be adapted to the reader
Adaptation = Fitting the message to the specific reader
Adaptation begins with visualizing the reader and imagining
what he or she knows, feels or thinks
Need to Adapt
All readers do not have
The same vocabulary or the same knowledge of the subject
The same mentality, or the same ability to understand
Adaptation means to form the message to fit the persons mind.
This helps us to communicate better - it is also the basis of
business etiquette

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Revising and Checking


__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

IMPORTANT TIPS AND TECHNIQUES


Paragraphs
A paragraph is a set of related sentences, indicated by indenting
the first sentence or by leaving a blank line between paragraphs.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 178

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Paragraphs are most effective when they are crisp, clean,


short, and to the point.
Most importantly, good business paragraphs develop one
idea at a time.
In business letters and memos, one-sentence paragraphs are not
uncommon, especially in the first and last paragraphs.

Notes
__________________

In reports, one and two-sentence paragraphs make the report


seem too choppy. In reports, paragraphs of 7-9 lines are
acceptable.
Paragraphs in letters and memos are easiest to read if they do
not exceed 4-5 printed lines.

__________________
__________________
__________________

Words per Sentence


If your average sentence length is too long, try these techniques
to reduce the length:
Check for wordiness--eliminate all unnecessary words.
Change passive sentences to active sentences.
Break long sentences into two or more sentences.
Use a vertical list for a series of items.
If your average sentence length is short, your writing may be
short & crisp.
Combine some of your short sentences into complex or
compound sentences.
Readability: Active vs. Passive

__________________

An analysis of well-written business letters and memos reveals


that about 80 percent of the verbs are active. In other words,
only one out of five sentences should be passive.
The active voice is more impressive because
The sentences are usually more concise.
The writing is more interesting because the subject of
the sentence is taking the action implied in the verb.

__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________

Example:
Passive: The decision was made by the manager at the last
moment.
Active: The manager decided at the last moment.
Note how using the active voice makes the sentence shorter and
how the subject (the manager) is doing the action (decided). With
the passive voice, the sentence is longer and the subject (decision)
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 179

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

is not doing the action (made). To make passive verbs active, ask
yourself who or what did the action. Move that person or thing to
the beginning of the sentence as the subject and change the verb as
necessary.

Notes

Other Tips and Techniques


Parallelism - Parallel structure applies to words joined by a
conjunction, joined by a conjunctive pair, appearing in a series,
and appearing in a listing. For instance
The whole day was spent returning phone calls,
reading the mail, and dictating correspondence.
When reading this report, you will:
Learn the costs involved in old inventories.
Appreciate the new computerized accounting
system.
Understand the new elements in the zero-based
approach.
Titles and Numbers
Names of books, magazines and newspapers should be
underlined or put in italics.
"Fortune and Business Week are important information
sources."
"The Wall Street Journal had an article on that topic
recently."
Numbers included in text vary according to their value and
location.
Numbers opening a paragraph or at the beginning of a
sentence are written as words.
"Three hundred bankers rushed Wall Street
today."
Numbers one to ten (1 to 10) are entered in text as
WORDS.
"I have three job offers in New York."
Numbers above ten are placed in text as digits except
when they open a paragraph.
"She left her son $4 million in cash and
securities."
Use Slang & Clichs with Caution
Use them only when they are meaningful!
Clich : Stereotyped expression - sentence or
phrase, usually expressing a popular or common

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 180

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

thought or idea, that has lost originality,


ingenuity, and impact by long overuse
E.g. sadder but wiser ; strong as an ox etc
Use slangs only in informal communication

Notes
Use Technical Words with Caution
All fields have some technical language This can be very
complex e.g. Computers, Law, Finance, Medicine etc.
Useful when you communicate with people in your own
field
Use initials and acronyms cautiously
They may not be known to the reader. Spell out and
define as required Legal language has also worked its
way into business writing. E.g. thereto, herewith,
hereinafter etc. Replace legal language with plain words

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Proof Reading Guidelines


__________________

Proofread everything, including titles, subtitles, words,


punctuation, capitalization, indented items, and numbers.
Concentrate on each word. If necessary, read your document
backwards to check spelling.
Then read sentences and paragraphs out of order.
Cover the document with a piece of paper so you can read only
one line at a time. This will help you overcome your eyes'
tendency to move on too quickly.
Read aloud to someone who will follow along on another copy
of the document.
Examine all numbers and totals. Recheck all calculations and
look for misplaced commas and decimal points.
Make sure all quotation marks, brackets, dashes, and
parentheses come in pairs.
Double check all highlighted material.
Keep a list of all repeated errors. See if you find a pattern that
will help you proofread future documents more effectively.
Ask co-workers to proofread your document and to initial it
when they are confident they have uncovered all mistakes.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 181

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Review Questions
Write (T) if the statements given below are true ,else write (F) if the
statement is false.
1. We use the persuasive approach to letter writing when we have to
sell something to the reader.
2. It is good to be reader friendly when writing business letters.
3. Revising and checking is a part of effective business writing.
4. Readability and listenability is achieved together.
5. What does K.I.S.S. stand for in principles of writing business letters?

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Answer the following questions in 150-200 words.

__________________

1.Explain the essentials of effective communication.


2. How to plan and present a business letter keeping the reader in mind?
3. Explain the different stages of effective business writing
4. Explain with examples the 3 different approaches to letter writing.
5. What are the guidelines for proof reading a business letter?

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 182

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Topic 17
Building Self-Confidence

Notes

Objectives:

__________________

1. Understanding Confidence
2. Understand difference between self-confidence and low selfconfidence
3. To building balanced Self- confidence
From the quietly confident doctor whose advice we rely on, to the
charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people
have qualities that everyone admires.
Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our
lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious
circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become
successful.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched
by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic.
On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks
clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions
assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know
something.
Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their
peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the
confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident
person finds success.
The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built
on. And, whether youre working on your own selfconfidence or building the confidence of people around you, its wellworth the effort!

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 183

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

So how confident do you seem to others?


Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior,
your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at
the following comparisons of common confident behavior with
behavior associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or
actions do you recognize in yourself and people around you?

Self-Confident

Low Self-Confidence

Doing what you believe to be


right, even if others mock or
criticize you for it.

Governing your behavior based


on what other people think.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Being willing to take risks


and go the extra mile to
achieve better things.

Staying in your comfort zone,


fearing failure and so avoid
taking risks.

__________________
__________________

Admitting your mistakes, and


Working hard to cover up
learning from them.
mistakes and hoping that you can
fix the problem before anyone
notices.
Waiting for others to
congratulate you on your
accomplishments.

Extolling your own virtues as


often as possible to as many
people as possible.

Accepting compliments
Dismissing compliments
graciously. Thanks, I really offhandedly. Oh that prospectus
worked hard on that
was nothing really, anyone could
prospectus. Im pleased you
have done it.
recognize my efforts.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 184

Soft Skills & Personality Development

As you can see from these examples, low self-confidence can be selfdestructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Self-confident
people are generally more positive they believe in themselves and
their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the full.
Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.
Thomas Carlyle

Notes
__________________
__________________

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what
they are."
Malcolm S. Forbes

__________________
__________________

What is Self-Confidence?
__________________

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and selfesteem.


We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others
similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in
those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard
in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that
leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of
setbacks.
This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general
sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we
have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the
people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to
control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving
virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can
compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations


and positive thinking. We believe that there's some truth in this, but that
it's just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving
goals thereby building competence. Without this underlying
competence, you don't have self-confidence: you have shallow overconfidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 185

__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

2. WHAT SELF-CONFIDENCE IS NOT


Self-confidence is not acting like you are better than others.
Self-confidence is not feeling like you are better than others.
Self-confidence never feels false. It is not something that you should
feel guilty for wanting.
Self-confidence is not the ability to step on others or promote yourself
by tearing someone else down.
Many people are afraid to desire great gifts for themselves.
They feel if they desire great things for themselves it will mean that
they are filled with pride and may mean they are not worthy, loving
people. But, nothing could be further from the truth.
It takes a level of self-confidence to desire great things for yourself and
you never achieve great things without first having the desire for them.
Having self-confidence does not mean you are unworthy. It does not
mean you should feel guilty for wanting to possess it.
Self-confidence is not boastful or mean or taking advantage of others.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

4. WHAT WILL SELF-CONFIDENCE DO FOR ME?


Having self-confidence is the same as having a magic wand in your
pocket.
Self-confidence opens doors for you almost like magic.
When you are confident people are attracted to you. You find that
people want to be around you for all kinds of reasons
to date you, to learn from you, to play with you, to experience life with
you and for many, many other reasons.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Self-confidence is attractive. It is powerful.


You will find that by taking the time to learn to be self-confident, life
will begin to change for you in almost every way possible.

__________________

What would you like to have more than anything?

__________________

__________________

__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 186

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Take a minute and list ten things you would love to have in your life.
1.

Notes

2.
3.

__________________

4.
__________________

5.
__________________

6.
7.

__________________

8.

__________________

9.

__________________

10.
__________________

Now, take each one of these desires, and list two ways that you could
achieve them if you possessed incredible self-confidence.
1.

__________________
__________________

a.
b.

__________________

2.

__________________

a.
__________________

b.
__________________

3.

a.

__________________

b.

__________________

4.
a.
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 187

Soft Skills & Personality Development

b.
5.

Notes

a.

__________________

b.

__________________

6.
__________________

a.
__________________

b.
__________________

7.
__________________

a.
__________________

b.
__________________

8.
__________________

a.

__________________

b.

__________________

9.

__________________

a.
b.

__________________

10.

__________________

a.

__________________

b.

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 188

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Does that make you want to have more self-confidence in your life?
Before you can powerfully create anything in your life, it is imperative
that you have a strong and consuming desire for it.
Hopefully, the above exercise helped you begin to feel this way.
It is also necessary that you have a belief system that gives you selfconfidence. Your beliefs create the world around you.They affect how
people respond to you and how you respond to people. Changing your
beliefs can deeply affect your self-confidence.
The following chapters will give you powerful keys to developing
incredible self-confidence. You will be given simple exercises to
perform each day. And you will be
immediately amazed at how different you feel and how your selfconfidence will change.

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Building Self-Confidence
So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on
a firm appreciation of reality?

__________________

The bad news is that theres no quick fix, or 5-minute solution.

__________________

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable,


just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things
through. And whats even better is that the things youll do to build
self-confidence will also build success after all, your confidence will
come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from
you!

__________________

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which well use the
metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and
accelerating towards success.

__________________

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey


The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to selfconfidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where
you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and
commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

__________________
__________________

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:


Look at what you've already achieved:

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 189

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you've achieved
in an "Achievement Log." Perhaps you came top in an important test or
exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales
figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in
someone elses life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your
business.
Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at
often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success
youve already had!

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

Think about your strengths:


Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis (explore personal SWOT
Analysis here) to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at
your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about
what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses.
From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.
Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Think about what's important to you, and where you want to go:
__________________

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what
you want to achieve with your life.
Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real selfconfidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set
yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets.
See our article on goal setting to find out how to use this important
technique, or use our Life Plan Workbook to think through your own
goals in detail (see "Tip" below).
Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that
exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your
opportunities, and control the threats you face.
And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in
each. A tip: Make sure its a very small step, perhaps taking no more
than an hour to complete!

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 190

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Start managing your mind:


At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up
and defeat the negative self-talks which can destroy your confidence.
See our article on rational positive thinking to find out how to do this.
Further useful reading includes our article on imagery this teaches
you how to use and create strong mental images of what youll feel and
experience as you achieve your major goals theres something about
doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________

And then commit yourself to success!


The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and
unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to
your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.
If as youre doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them
down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under
scrutiny, thats great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make
sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately.
Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with


low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be
over-confident.
If you are under-confident, youll avoid taking risks and stretching
yourself; and you might not try at all. And if youre over-confident, you
may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities,
and crash badly. You may also find that youre so optimistic that you
dont try hard enough to truly succeed.
Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence,
founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of
self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not
beyond your abilities) and try hard.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Step 2: Setting Out


This is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By
doing the right things, and starting with small, easy wins, youll put

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 191

Soft Skills & Personality Development

yourself on the path to success and start building the self-confidence


that comes with this.
Build the knowledge you need to succeed:

Notes

Looking at your goals, identify the skills youll need to achieve them.
And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well.
Dont just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution look for a
solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what
you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you a certificate or qualification
you can be proud of.
Focus on the basics:

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

When youre starting, dont try to do anything clever or elaborate. And


dont reach for perfection just enjoy doing simple things successfully
and well.

__________________
__________________

Set small goals, and achieve them:


Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the
habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement.
Dont make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the
habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start
piling up the successes!

__________________
__________________
__________________

Keep managing your mind:


__________________

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying


success, and keep those mental images strong. You can also use a
technique like Treasure Mapping to make your visualizations even
stronger!
And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes
happen when youre trying something new. In fact, if you get into the
habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost)
start to see them in a positive light. After all, theres a lot to be said for
the saying if it doesnt kill you, it makes you stronger!
Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success
By this stage, youll feel your self-confidence building. Youll have
completed some of the courses you started in step 2, and youll have
plenty of success to celebrate!
PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 192

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

Soft Skills & Personality Development

This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger,
and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment.
And extend the skills youve proven into new, but closely related
arenas.
Tip
Keep yourself grounded this is where people tend to get overconfident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you dont start
enjoying cleverness for its own sake

Notes
__________________
__________________

As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much,
you'll find your self-confidence building apace. What's more, you'll
have earned your self-confidence because youll have put in the hard
graft necessary to be successful!

__________________

Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to
improve your self-confidence.

__________________

__________________

__________________

Five Things You Can Do Today!


See the positives and good that you do. Look for it, seek it out and
although (especially if you are a modest Brit) respect yourself for the
qualities you have.
Start a 'Positives Diary'. Each night take 15 minutes max to write
down 3-5 things that have been successes during your day. Even
small successes are good to recall.
Find the positives in others and share it with them. This really fine
tunes your own ability to notice positives in yourself.
Consider aspects of your life where you feel more successful. What is
it about those areas that help you accept your qualities? How are you
better at appreciating yourself there than other places?
Who can you 'share praise' with? Think of two or three people who
you can use the question in 3 above. Then look for three more. Offer
the service back to them.

__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 193

Soft Skills & Personality Development

Review Questions
1) What is the difference between Self-confidence & low selfconfidence?
2) What are the ways to improve Self Confidence in an individual?

Notes
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________

PEP - Centre for Professional Communication, UPES

Page 194

Das könnte Ihnen auch gefallen