Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
FUCK YOU HITLER DEUCE: YOUVE CONFUSED ME WITH THAT ONE -- I THOU
REAKFAST BURRITOS NOT BREAKFAST ANGST DEUCE: THEYVE BEEN MANUFACTURING ANTIMATTER FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW SPIGOT: WHEN PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ANTIMA
OM WITH ME I CANCEL THEM OUT DEUCE: WANGSAGLHGAHLGAHLGA YOU WILL HAVE TO SHOW RESPECT TO GET YOUR DICKS SIR SPIGOT: DONT BE DISSING MY LOW TOLERA
NCE SPIGOT: HURGLE DURGLE ITS THE ECONOMY STUPID URF BURF WHATEVER YOURE TALKING ABOUT RANDS: POO POO POO POO POO POO POO POO RANDS: POO POO P
CK IN A POO LOOP DEUCE: AGLHAGLHAGHLAG DEUCE: YOU ARE NOW FREE (THAT WAS MY MAGIC SPELL) PANTS: ADMIT NOTHING! PANTS: DENY EVERYTHING! PANTS: DEMAND
AM I KIDDING HULGAHLGHALUGHALUGHLUAHLAG SPIGOT: DO YOU EVER PISS IN YOUR FAT MOUTH SPIGOT: AND THEN GO BLUGHLBUHLGUHBLUHGLU IM A FOUNTAIN DEUCE:
T SPIGOT:TRY PISS FOR A REFRESHING CHANGE OF PACE SPIGOT: IM A CHAR TO A STAR TO A POINTER TO A DONG TO A BONG TO THIS GUN TO RIGHT IN MY MOUTH AND GOODBY
CITLY OR IMPLICITLY CASTED ?!?! SPIGOT: FUCK YOU AND LICK DICK RANDS: DONGS RANDS: DONGS SPIGOT: DONGS RANDS: ARE WE A GAY BELL? SPIGOT: I CAN ANSWER THAT WIT
PIGOT: URMPH SPIGOT: OW SPIGOT: GLUGHLGUH SPIGOT: I CANNOT ANSWER THAT SPIGOT: REMEMBER WHEN WE LIVED TOGETHER AND WE WOULD TAKE THE BUS TO VARIOUS GA
D INSIST YOU WERE NOT GAY BUT BOY DID LESLIE AND CECIL AND FREDERICK AT BLOWHOLES KNOW OTHERWISE SPIGOT: LICK DICK OLD BEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PANTS: TUT TUT OLD BO
GOT: HURMPH SIR YOU ARE BLOCKING BBC1 AND BBC2 RANDS: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL FIX A BLOWN HEAD GASKET RANDS: NOW THAT I THINK BACK ON IT, IVE ALWAYS BEEN O
DS: PERHAPS BONGHITS WILL UNTANGLE THESE EXTENSION CORDS RANDS: IF ANY OF YOU NEED A LOAN, I WOULD MORE THAN HAPPY TO SUCK YOUR DICK PANTS: 10 ADAM 12 W
N PROGRESS ATANDT: CUMSHOTS FIRED ATANDT: CLEAR PARCEL 12 PANTS: 338 UNITS 1, 2, 3, 4 AND 5 RESPONDING PANTS: UNITS 6, 7 EN ROUTE ATANDT: MAN DOWN MAN DOW
ERVISE DEUCE: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF FLOWER ID BE A BIG FAT ANGRY COCK SPIGOT: AND I WOULD BE THE HUGLURHLUGHRLUH BIRD SPIGOT: BRISCO: THE PERP MUST HAVE
: CURTIS: HE LEFT HIS PRECIOUS WEAPON BEHIND SPIGOT: MCCOY: HURRRRR HUHHHHHHH GAY POO PANTS: LAW & ORDER WILL BE RIGHT BACK PANTS: I HATE THE GREAT STATE O
ULAR REASON) RANDS: WHEN YOU GET IRRATIONAL, I GET STIFF PANTS: OK GIVE ME A MINUTE HERE PANTS: UH DEUCE: JEW-KABOB PANTS: DICKS AND PRICKS BAKED IN THE OV
N A SILVER PLATTER RANDS: CUT PANTS: OK GIVE ME A MINUTE HERE
RANDS:
FUCKINGBELONGS
READ FROM THE TO:
SCRIPT PANTS: IM PREOCCUPIED WITH THE EASTERN EUROPEAN SITUATION
THIS
BOOK
NG AT THE IMPROV DEUCE: GLAHGLAGH SPIGOT: UM, I DO NOT REMEMBER EATING THE LAST BITE OF PIZZA SO IT IS AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: I AM NOT SITTING O
K AWAY!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: WHOOPS!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS THIS MORNINGS EMPTY BOX SPIGOT: NOT THIS EVENINGS DOUBLE-BOX WITH BREADSTICKS POCH / DIPPING SAUCES DEUCE: IT IS SCHRO
ITHER IN YOUR APARTMENT NOR OUT OF IT AND YET BOTH AT THE SAME TIME DEUCE: I HAVE BEEN PUNCHED IN THE HEAD AND ASS FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES STRAIGH
LING, ASKING FOR ICE) SPIGOT: THAT IS TANTAMOUNT TO EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEUCE: I KNOW AND FOR THAT I AM ASHAMED PANTS: WE HAVE ALL FAILED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER PANT
LL OUR PANTS DOWN RANDS: I AM SO THERE DEUCE: I DONT SEE HOW THAT WILL SOLVE ANY OF OUR DEUCE: OH ATANDT: I FOUND A LIZARD SQUISHED BETWEEN TWO PIECE
DEUCE:T ATANDT DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY BALLS ATANDT:T DEUCE I JUST ATE DEUCE:T ATANDT WELL TAKE A PEPTO BISMAL AND LET ME PULL DOWN MY PANTS DEUCE: HAVE A VE
CE: GET IT DEUCE: IT SOUNDS LIKE MERRY BUT IT IS IN FACT A DIFFERENT WORD DEUCE: WORDS THAT SOUND ALIKE BUT HAVE DIFFERENT MEANINGS ARE CALLED HOMOPHOBES
HES SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING YOU AS A FUCKTOY. DEUCE: MY PENIS DOESNT WORK !!! DEUCE: WHEN I HIT IT WITH A HAMMER IT DOESNT SQUEAK ANYMORE DEUCE: SISTA #10
UP AS I CAN MUSTER IN THIS STATE OF DEHYDRATION (FROM THE JERKING YOU SEE) DEUCE: I WISH I WERE TOILET TRAINED DEUCE: NOTE THE USE OF THE SUBJUNCTIVE INDICATING
ARY TO FACT SPIGOT: WHAT DO WE WANT? SPIGOT: COCKS SPIGOT: WHEN DO WE WANT EM? SPIGOT: NOW SPIGOT: WHAT DO WE WANT? SPIGOT: *HOMPH* SPIGOT: WHEN DO W
RF* RANDS: OR POO SPIGOT: FOLKS I WOKE UP ON THE FLOOR OF THE STALL WITH NO SHOES SPIGOT: IS THAT GULF WAR SYNDROME DEUCE:T SPIGOT YOU SNORTED TOO MUCH D
T: ARE YOU BOB HOPE CHEERING ME UP WITH NEWS FROM HOME AND A WHORE DEUCE:T SPIGOT NO I AM TRYING TO TRICK YOU/DICK YOU SPIGOT:YOURE PRETTY SLICK YOU SPIGO
NG VANILLA NUT BLEND SPIGOT: FUCK, I JUST HAD THIS FREAK ACCIDENT WHERE I SAT DOWN TO WORK AND I SPILLED DOPE INTO THE BONG AND THE LIGHTER FLICKED OUT AN
E WHEELS OF MY CHAIR SLIPPED BACK AND I INHALED THE DOPE SMOKE AND ATE A MUFFIN PANTS: WE SHOULD OPERATE IMMEDIATELY DEUCE: DICKS ??? MORE DICKS ??? PERHAP
ANTS: WELCOME TO THESE UNITED HOUSES OF PANCAKES SPIGOT: BRISCOE: WHAT IF WE GIVE UP THE MURDER WEAPON? DEUCE: UH OH SPIGOT: MCCOY: HAGGLE GAGGLE IM
DUCER DICK WOLF SPIGOT: YOU CAN ONLY DO THAT WHILE SMOKING DOPE DEUCE: THATS BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY TIME YOURE FUNNY SPIGOT: T RANDS ALSO THEY ARE MY
R JUGS DEUCE: DOES THIS DRESS AND DO THESE SHOES MAKE ME LOOK FAT? PANTS: I THINK ITS THE FATNESS THAT REALLY DOES IT PANTS: ALSO THE UGLY SPIGOT: TRY PUTTING TH
D THE DRESS OVER YOUR HEAD DEUCE: DOES THIS DRESS AND DO THESE SHOES MAKE ME LOOK FAT? PANTS: I THINK ITS THE FATNESS THAT REALLY DOES IT PANTS: ALSO THE UGL
E SHOES UP YOUR ASS AND THE DRESS OVER YOUR HEAD SPIGOT: WHERES THAT PIZZA SPIGOT: BLRHLBUHRLUBHRLUBHLGHRLHGHRLBHLUGHBLULH PLUH BLUHH I AM SO SORR
LHRLUHLBRHLGUHLLUH HUH HUH I JUST CANT KEEP ANYTHING DOWN PANTS: MY SHOES SPIGOT: BLGUBHGLUBHRLUBHRTLUBHRLGURHLBURHGLUBRHGLUB MY FAULT SPIGOT: B
TS: I NEED TO BE PUMPED SO FULL OF SPURT THAT I CANNOT SEE STRAIGHT PANTS: WRITE BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: SIR THIS IS AN ENGINEERING/BAB5 NEWSGROUP PANTS: FAN
RT?????????????????????????///////////// SPIGOT: IF ONLY WE COULD COMBINE FILKING WITH DICKLICKING DEUCE: GAYS DEUCE: FILKLICKING PANTS: NO DICKFILKING SPIGOT: FOLKS YOURE BOT
PRIVATE DICKLICKER SPIGOT: WARNING CONTAINS GRAPHIC SCENES OF DICKLICKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: (COCKSUCKING) SPIGOT: OKAY MEN LETS ALL HURMPH BURMPH LORD GO
OF THE BOAT SPIGOT: BHLRUHBLURHLUBHRLGBUHRLUBHLHRG ARE YOU RYAN NO OKAY BHRLBURHLGUHLRUBH SPIGOT: HELP / I NEED SOMEBODY SPIGOT: HELP / NOT JUST A
M BAM SIR IN THE NEXT STALL I AM ASKING FOR HELP SPIGOT: I AM REACHING MY HAND UNDER THE PARTITION FOR COINS/TOKENS SPIGOT: WHAT I LIKE TO DO IS ADD THE PHRASE
MY FORTUNE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: I WILL LICK DICK ... IN BED!!!!!! SPIGOT: I WILL CUT OFF MY DONG AND BALLS ... IN BED!!!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: I HAVE A KEEN EYE FOR RAPING PROSTITU
EM DOWN THE BATHTUB ... IN BED !!!!!!!!!! SPIGOT: SOME DONT WORK SPIGOT: FOUR MORE PRICKS SPIGOT: FOUR MORE PRICKS SPIGOT: FOUR MORE PRICKS SPIGOT: FOUR MORE
U SPIGOT: WHEN YOUR MOUTH / CHOKES ON DICK / LIKE A BIG FUCKING PRICK SPIGOT:THATS AMORE SPIGOT: WHEN YOUR DONGS / GETTING LONG / AND ITS STUCK IN THE BONG
PIGOT: SERIOUSLY IM OUT OF TOILET PAPER SPIGOT: IM GOING TO SMOKE THIS DOPE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS SPIGOT: FIVE HOOKERS?!?!?!?!?! SPIGOT: BUT BUT SPIGOT: WAIT SPIGOT
DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT ID LIKE TORI SPELLING TO GIVE ME SOME 9-0-2-1-ORAL SEX SPIGOT: ALSO AARON SPELLING SPIGOT: I PUBLISH SHORT STORIES ON THE WEB AND
E SPIGOT: IF SOMEONE CAN HELP ME GET A PERL/JAVA THING GOING I CAN BUILD A CHAT FORUM SPIGOT: YOURE REALLY STABBING ME IN THE FACE AND GROIN WITH THAT BA
D IT HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS ALL FOR SOME PISSCAM PROJECT BUT IM TRYING HARD TO HOLD STEADY SPIGOT: FUCKING CLOSE THE DOOR SPIGOT: STUPID ASS JERKOFF IM BEAT
GET OUT SPIGOT: GET THE FUCK OUT SPIGOT: PUT THE COFFEE ON THE FUCKING DESK SPIGOT: I WILL SUE FOR THE RIGHT TO LICK YOUR DICK SPIGOT: (PUSHING ROLLED UP CONST
) RANDS: THICK DEUCE: I AM CROSSING OUT ARTICLE VII AND ADDING AMENDMENT XIII SPIGOT: WE THE PLBRLBLBLRBPLE PANTS: GAKKKK PANTS: YOUR HANDS ARE TIGHT AROUN
HOKING AND TEACHING ALL AT THE SAME TIME PANTS: GAKKKK MOSTLY CHOKING PANTS: IT IS MOSTLY CHOKING DEUCE: SO BE IT SPIGOT: I AM COUNTING ON AN X WITH OUR
RING PROTRACTOR DEUCE: IF WE CROSS BEAMS WE WILL DIE SPIGOT: THEN I GUESS WE SHOULD BOTH USE THE FORCE???? READING FAQ SPIGOT: FOLKS CAN WE GET SOME EXPER
GOING KOSOVO CRISIS?!?!?!?! SPIGOT: LETS ALL SOUND OFF WITH OUR TWO CENTS!!!!!!!!!!! PANTS: I TAKE IT UP THE ASS SPIGOT: IS THIS RING STILL ACTIVE RANDS: IM SERIOUSLY INVITING
EUCE: I WILL ACCEPT THE INVITATION (AS WELL AS THE RESPONSIBILITY) RANDS: IF YOU DONT MIND RANDS: PLEASE REMOVE YOUR DONG FROM MY ARMPIT DEUCE: I AM KEEPING
T: CAN YOU GET PREGNANT FROM ANAL SEX DEUCE: WE WILL CONDUCT 1000 SCIENTIFIC TRIALS ALSO WE WILL NEED ANOTHER 1000 FOR THE CONTROL GROUP SPIGOT: I WILL
HE GAY AND LESBIAN AND HOMOSEXUAL AND LESBIAN AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY AND LESBIAN AND GAY AND GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL AND GAY A
CLUB IT WILL BE CALLED THE GALAHALALAGAHAGALAGAGAHAGALAG CLUB DEUCE: I WILL JOIN (HERE ARE MY DUES) DEUCE: T ATANDT DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY BALLS ATANDT
E: T ATANDT WELL TAKE A PEPTO BISMOL AND LET ME PULL DOWN MY PANTS PANTS: PLEASE HELP ME PICK OUT A GOWN FOR THE COCKSUCKERS BALL PANTS: SLOW DOWN, TAK
AK ME WITH THE HOSE PANTS: I WILL DRUG YOU AND FUCK YOU PANTS: WHAT PANTS: YES ILL HOLD PANTS: YOU CANT TELL ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE THAT YOUVE NEVER GIV
S MARINES IN THE BACK OF A CAMARO WITH QUIET RIOT PLAYING CAN YOU ??? I THOUGHT NOT PANTS: WHATS YOUR ANGLE PANTS: WHOSE BABY IS THAT PANTS: ILL BUY THAT PA
OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING SHORTLY PANTS: ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THAT I DID NOT PUNCH THE PROSTITUTE I WAS ONLY HELPING HER DOWN OFF THE STAGE :TO: STA
: WHATS GOING ON DOWN THERE : : ARE WE OFF THE AIR AGAIN? : GODDAMNIT : YOU USELESS FUCKWADS ATANDT: T SPIGOT WHY ARE YOU STILL UP SPIGOT: CRUISING FOR PRICK
LLY GOOD SPIGOT: LETS GO TO THE MOON AND LICK DICK DEUCE:YOU KNOW WE DONT HAVE TO GO TO THE MOON FOR ALL THAT DEUCE: (I.E., A SPACE IN MY BATHROOM JUST
WHOLE POINT IS THAT WE GET NASA INVOLVED SPIGOT: PLEASE OVERRIDE MY VIRTUAL MEMBER DEUCE: I CAN ONLY OVERRIDE YOU IF YOU ARE A VIRTUAL MEMBER FUNCTION SI
LARS DEUCE: NOW YOURE TALKING MOTHERFUCKER SPIGOT: KNOCK KNOCK !!! PANTS: WHOS THERE ??? SPIGOT: BRAD CHAD AND THAD !!! PANTS: BRAD CHAD AND THAD WHO ?
Cover by T. Farnon
Published by Baby Milk Factory
California, U.S.A.
www.babymilkfactory.com
Printed by Signature Book Printing, Inc.
Gaithersburg, Maryland, U.S.A.
www.signature-book.com
Cartoons originally published between
1998 and 2013 at www.jerkcity.com
Kickstarter Edition hurf blurf
www.kickstarter.com/projects/jerkcity/the-big-book-of-jerkcity
ISBN 978-0-9789941-0-5
2718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966967627724076
The Big
Book of
Jerkcity
Published by Baby Milk Factory
California
United States of America
2013
CHAPTER 1
EARLY YEARS, THE
what with the boners
half off
regarding my salary
breakfast burrito
antimatter
stuck in a poo loop
demand proof
change of pace
explicitly or implicitly
Atandt Haiku #1
various gay places
BBC1 and BBC2
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
CHAPTER 2
RANDS
the trouble with Pac-Man
auto repair for fags
Rands on the Charlie Rose show
spring cleaning for fags
jerktest
money management skills
24
25
26
27
28
29
CHAPTER 3
COMMUNISTS,
EVERY ONE
man down
any kind of flower
precious weapon
cut
Schrdingers pizza
tantamount to exercise
32
33
34
35
36
37
CHAPTER 4
DEUCE
jerk me
super man
shame
phobes
squeak
movie reviews
evil spirits
multiple horrible monsters
assume the position
the subjunctive
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
CHAPTER 5
IT GOES IN
YOUR FACE
queer cheer
gulf war syndrome
we should operate
united houses of pancakes
executive producer
breasts
also the ugly
pizza
pumped so full
filking
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
CHAPTER 6
SPIGOT
saving private dicklicker
help
in bed
four more pricks
thats amore
wait
Aaron Spelling
youre really stabbing me
pisscam
beating off
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
CHAPTER 7
ALL THEIR LITTLE
HEADS AT ONCE
thick
choking, teaching
an X with our piss
lets all sound off
a story as old as time
winter
sun day(s)
the scientific method
i will start a club
i just ate
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
CHAPTER 8
PANTS
prom night
in case of emergency
listen good
rough trade
the shed
i will
like a gay Speak & Spell
with a straight face and a firm grip
stoned before five
faster than luhhhhh
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
CHAPTER 9
NEW MILLENNIUM, THE
candy and cake
the moon
heres ten dollars
knock knock
Quisp
the prickalino
prostitutes and migrant workers
CS-101
come and get it
time and salt
any given sunday
of all of the
true story
hey jude
some kind of horrible error
simple math
a moments pause
taking inventory
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
BACK MATTER
glossary 118
index 122
colophon 126
Jerkcity
The Early Years
1895-1940
In Which Deuce Discovers Radium
& Pants Tips Over An Apple Cart
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
24
25
26
27
28
29
Jerkcity
Communists, Every One
1941-1969
Where Rands and Spigot have a
gay picnic but it rains and
they cry like little girls
32
33
34
35
36
37
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
Jerkcity
It GOES IN YOuR face
1970-1979
AND OTHER RIDICULOUS FABLES
AS READ ALOUD BY A DRUNKEN,
ANGRY DEUCE
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
JERKCITY
All Their Little
Heads At Once
1980-1987
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
Jerkcity
New Millennium, The
OH GOD IT BURNS HUALGHULAG
HALHALHLUAHGULHALGHLGAHLAG
THIS IS WORSE THAN THAT THE TIME
THE POPE VISITED HALGHGLUAG
HUGAGLAGHUALGH SACRE BLEU
HLAGHULAHLGHUALGHULAG
SOMEBODY HUGALGHULGHLUAG
HLAGHLUAHGLUAHGLUHALG
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
sprung.
FAQ, n. Acronym for frequently
asked questions; a list of answers to
frequently asked questions that can
be presented to a community (be
it a forum, Usenet newsgroup, or
software user base) so that the same
questions need not be asked over and
over again. In the entire history of
their use, not one has ever been used
for its intended purpose.
fat, adj. Being a citizen of the United
States of America.
filk, v.i. To engage in rampant and
offensive copyright infringement.
fisticuffs, n. The act of inserting ones
fist into someone elses bodily orifice,
typically the mouth or anus.
fuck, interj. The queen mother of all
swear words, greater even in degree
than darn.
fucktoy, n. A device or substance
used in conjunction with a sexual
act: This toothbrush sure makes a
good fucktoy.
GAKKKK, interj. The sound
associated with being choked. Lets
face it, it was probably well-deserved.
goddammit or goddamnit, interj.
A general expression of frustration.
119
120
121
ACCEPT: 80
ACCIDENT: 54
ACTIVE: 79
ADDING: 76
AMENDMENT: 76
AMORE: 68
ANAL: 83
ANALYSIS: 79
ANDROMEDA: 104
ANGLE: 96
ANGRY: 33
ANGST: 13
ANONYMOUS: 95
ANOTHER: 37, 83
ANSWER: 19
ANTIMATTER: 14
APARTMENT: 36
ARMPIT: 81
ARTICLE: 76
ASHAMED: 37
ASKING: 37, 65
ATANDT: 32, 38, 85, 100
BABY: 96
BAKED: 35
BALL: 88
BALLPOINT: 71
BALLS: 85, 66
BATHROOM: 101
BATHTUB: 66
BBC1: 21
BBC2: 21
BEAMS: 78
BEAN: 21
BEATING: 73
BEHEADING: 60
BELIEVE: 72
BELL: 19
BERRY: 43
BETWEEN: 38
BIGGER: 55
BIRD: 33
BITE: 36
BLEND: 53
BLOCKING: 21
BLOWN: 25
BLUHH: 59
BOAT: 64
BONERS: 10
BONG: 18, 54, 68, 113
BONGHITS: 25, 27
BORING: 104
BREAKFAST: 13
BREAKING: 104
BREASTS: 57
BREATH: 89
BROKEN: 104
BRUISING: 37
BUNG: 107
BURF: 14
BURMPH: 64
BURNING: 60
BURRITO: 13
CAMERO: 95
CANCEL: 14
CARD: 11
CARPET: 113
CASTED: 18
CENTS: 79
CHAR: 18
CHAT: 71
CHEERING: 53
CHIPS: 11
CHOKES: 68
CHOKING: 77
CHRISTMAS: 43
CLEAR: 32
CLOROXING: 66
COCK: 33
COCKS: 52
COFFEE: 73
CONDITION: 49
CONDUCT: 83
122
CONFUSED: 13
CONTAINS: 64
CONTRARY: 49
CONTROL: 83
COOKIES: 66
CORDS: 27
COUNTING: 78
CRISIS: 79
CROSS: 78
CROSSING: 76
CRUISING: 100
CUMSHOTS: 32
CURLY: 100
DAWN: 12
DEMAND: 16
DEPLETED: 53
DESK: 73
DEUCE: 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 33, 35,
36, 37, 85, 43, 44, 45, 49, 53, 55, 56, 58,
61, 76, 77, 78, 80, 81, 83, 84, 101, 102, 104,
105, 107, 110
DICK: 18, 21, 29, 56, 66, 68, 76, 101, 107
DICKLICKER: 64
DICKS: 14, 35, 55
DIFFERENT: 43
DIPPING: 36
DIPSHIT: 73
DISCOVERED: 105
DISSING: 14
DOJO: 107
DOLLARS: 102
DONG: 18, 66, 81
DONGS: 19
DOOR: 73
DOPE: 54, 56, 69
DOUBLE-BOX: 36
DRESS: 58
DRUG: 93
DUES: 84
DURGLE: 14
EASTERN: 35
EATING: 13, 36
ECONOMY: 14
EDITOR: 97
EMAIL: 71
EMBRACES: 10
EMPIRE: 108
EUROPEAN: 35
EXECUTIVE: 56
EXERCISE: 37
EXPERT: 79
EXPLICITLY: 18
EXTENSION: 27
FACE: 71, 80, 95
FAILED: 37
FATNESS: 58
FAULT: 59
FICTION: 61
FILKING: 61
FINALLY: 11
FIRE: 54
FIRED: 32
FIRST: 107
FLICKED: 54
FLOOR: 53
FLOWER: 33
FOLKS: 53, 61, 79
FORCE: 78
FORTUNE: 66
FORUM: 71
FOUND: 38
FOUNTAIN: 17
FOUR: 67
FREAK: 54
FREE: 15
FRIES: 100
FUCK: 13, 18, 54, 73, 80, 93
FUCKING: 35, 53, 68, 73, 107
FUCKTOY: 44
FUCKWADS: 97
FUNCTION: 102
FUNNY: 56
GAGGLE: 56
GAKKKK: 77
GASKET: 25
GAYS: 61
GIVE: 35, 56, 70
GIVEN: 95
GLAHGLAGH: 35
GLUGHLGUH: 19
GODDAMNIT: 97
GOODBYE: 18
GOWN: 88
GRAPHIC: 64
GROIN: 71
GROUP: 83
GUESS: 78
GULF: 53
HABITS: 105
HAGGLE: 56
HAMMER: 44
HAND: 65
HANDS: 77
HAPPENS: 69
HAPPY: 29
HARD: 72
HATE: 35
HBLRTKTP&%: 103
HEAD: 25, 37, 58, 95
HELP: 65, 71, 88
HITLER: 13
HLGAHGLAG: 21
HOLD: 72, 93
HOLE: 76
HOMOPHOBES: 43
HOMOSEXUAL: 84
HOMPH: 52
HOMPTH: 103
HOOKERS: 69
HOPE: 53
HOSE: 89
HOUSES: 55
HUHHHHHHH: 34
123
HURGLE: 14
HURMPH: 21, 64, 67
HURRRRR: 34
HURRY: 34
IMPLICITLY: 18
IMPROV: 35
INDICATING: 49
INHALED: 54
INSIST: 20
INVITATION: 80
INVITING: 80
INVOLVED: 101
IRRATIONAL: 35
JERKING: 45
JERKOFF: 73
JEW-KABOB: 35
JOIN: 84
JOLLY: 100
JUDE: 113
JUGS: 57
KEEN: 66
KIDDING: 16, 104
KIDS: 104
KISS: 107
KISSING: 107
KNOCK: 103
KNOCKED: 113
KNOW: 20, 37, 70, 101
KOSOVO: 79
LAST: 36, 37
LDAP: UP, YOUR, FAT, ASS
LEARNING: 14
LESBIAN: 84
LIGHTER: 54
LIGHTLY: 107
LIKES: 105
LINK: 71
LIVED: 20
LIZARD: 38
LOAN: 29
LOOP: 15
LORD: 64
LOVE: 107
LUCKY: 11
MAGIC: 15
MARINES: 95
MEANINGS: 43
MELONS: 57
MEMBER: 102
MERRY: 43
MIND: 81
MINUTE: 35
MINUTES: 37, 104
MOON: 101
MOUTH: 17, 18, 68
MUCH: 53, 110
MUFFIN: 54
MURDER: 56
MURF: 52
MUST: 34
MUSTER: 45
NASA: 101
NECK: 77
NEED: 29, 60, 65, 83
NEITHER: 36
NESTING: 105
NEVER: 95, 107
NEWS: 53
NEWSGROUP: 60
NINETY: 104
NOTE: 49
NOTHING: 16
OATS: 104
OBSESSED: 26
ONGOING: 79
OPENED: 101
OPERATE: 54
ORDER: 34
OTHERWISE: 20
OVEN: 35
OVERRIDE: 102
PACE: 17
PANCAKES: 55
PANK: 67
PANTS: 11, 12, 13, 16, 21, 32, 34, 35, 37,
85, 54, 55, 58, 59, 60, 61, 77, 79, 88, 89, 93,
95, 96, 97, 103, 105, 110, 113
PAPER: 68, 113
PARCEL: 32
PARTICLE: 105
PARTICULAR: 35
PARTITION: 65
PARTY: 108
PASS: 107
PENIS: 44
PEOPLE: 14
PERL: 10
PERP: 34
PERTURBED: 11
PISS: 17, 78
PISSCAM: 72
PIZZA: 36, 59
PLACES: 20
PLASTICS: 104
PLATTER: 35
PLUH: 59
PLYWOOD: 38
POUCH: 36
POINTER: 18
POKE: 105
PRECIOUS: 34
PREGNANT: 83
PRETTY: 53
PRICING: 11
PRICK: 68
PRICKALINO: 105
PRICKS: 35, 67, 100
PRIVATE: 64
PROBES: 104
PROD: 105
PRODUCER: 56
PROJECT: 72
PROOF: 16
124
PROSTITUTE: 97
PROTRACTOR: 78
PUBLISH: 71
PUFFY: 11
PUMPED: 60
PUNCH: 97
PUNCHED: 37
PUSHING: 76
QUAKER: 104
QUIET: 95
QUISP: 104
RANDS: 10, 15, 19, 25, 26, 27, 29, 35, 37,
52, 57, 76, 80, 81
REACHING: 65
READING: 78
REASON: 35
REFRESHING: 17
REGARD: 11
REGULAR: 97
RESPECT: 14
RESPONDING: 32
REWARDS: 11
RING: 79
RIOT: 95
RIPENESS: 11
ROLLED: 76
ROUTE: 32
RUBBING: 113
SALARY: 12
SATURDAY: 78
SAUCES: 36
SCENES: 64
SCIENCE: 14
SCIENTIFIC: 83
SCRIPT: 35
SERIOUSLY: 10, 11, 44, 68, 80
SETTLING: 11
SHAKING: 11
SHELVE: 11
SHIPPING: 11
SHIT: 104
STROKE: 107
STUCK: 15, 68
STUFF: 104
STUPID: 14, 73
SUCK: 29, 107
SUPERVISE: 32
SWELLING: 37
SYNDROME: 53
TANTAMOUNT: 37
TEACHING: 77
TEXAS: 35
THBPBLGH: 103
THEN: 17, 78, 105
THICK: 76
THUMBS: 45
TIGHT: 77
TIME: 14, 36, 56, 77, 107
TODAY: 38, 104, 105
TOILET: 12, 49, 68
TOLERANCE: 14
TOWELS: 113
TRAINED: 49
TRAP: 10
TRIALS: 83
TRICK: 53
TWENTY: 37, 104
UGLY: 58
UNDER: 65
UNTANGLE: 27
URANIUM: 53
URMPH: 11, 19
USELESS: 97
VANILLA: 53
VIRTUAL: 102
VIRUS: 104
WAIT: 69
WALK: 36
WARM: 81
WARNING: 64
WATCHING: 13
WATER: 17
125
WEAPON: 34, 56
WEIRD: 10
WELCOME: 55
WHATEVER: 14
WHEELS: 54
WHOOPS: 36
WHORE: 53
WINTER: 81
WISH: 49
WOKE: 53
WOLF: 56
WORK: 44, 54, 66
WORKING: 104
WRITE: 60
YEAR: 104
COLOPHON
Cover design by T. Farnon
www.leisuretown.com
Introduction by Rands
www.randsinrepose.com
DOGSHIT.EXE
This is the Very Special Kickstarter Edition.
126
127
ABOUT JERKCITY
Jerkcity is probably enjoyed by sreaders worldwide every single day
at www.jerkcity.com.
ABOUT THE PUBLISHER
To contact the publisher, write to Baby Milk Factory, c/o That
Goddamn Jerkcity Book, root@jerkcity.com, USA.
PENIS PUMP
m
CORRIGENDUM